The Ardman Files

by The_Pariah

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Adventure, DJ P0N-3, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Lyra, Gore
Length: 9544

Meet amnesiac detective Ardman. He can find anyone or anything, except his past.

In Canterlot there is a pony. He can find anyone or anything. He has four and a half years of dedicated service to the crown of Equestria under his hat. He's an amnesiac, his name is Ardman, and this is his story.

Published 2012-08-18 13:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-30 07:27:40 UTC

Case One: A stolen Lyra.

Case One: A Stolen Lyra

Chapter One

My story begins as most cliché detective stories do, with me sitting at the desk in my office. I would introduce myself with my full name and history, but I have no idea what they are. Prior to my sixteenth birthday, I have no recollection of any events whatsoever.

On that sixteenth birthday I woke up in a hospital with no memory, no family and no possessions. I have only two clues to my past: my cutie mark - a magnifying glass - and another strange mark; a stylized L surrounded by a five-pointed star, burned into my flesh just behind my right foreleg. I have a dark brown coat, a white mane, and dark blue eyes, which I'm told hide secrets.

It has been four and a half years since I woke up with no memory, and for four of those years I made a name for myself as the best detective in Equestria - until one day, six months ago, I lost everything I had worked so hard to gain.

So that’s how I ended up sitting in this office, which doubles as my house. There aren't many items in the room; just a few files from my last case, a solitary candle and my few remaining business cards. On the cards is some basic information: my apartment number, One-Oh-One Nightmare Apartments; the name I use; and my occupation - private detective. The slatted blinds let a few bars of light into the room, illuminating the floor and throwing my face into shadow.

I was tired filing away a few papers late one afternoon when there came a knock at my door. "Come in." My voice echoed around the empty space. Three mares entered the room, all of them distressed and disheveled. The one leading the group was a white unicorn with an electric blue mane, and eyes hidden behind a pair of huge sunglasses. The pony on the right was a grey earth pony with a black mane and serious purple eyes. Lastly, the one on the left was a cream colored earth pony, with a dark blue and pink two-tone mane. All three of them seemed upset.

"Are you Ardman?" the middle mare asked me; I nodded slowly.

"What can I do for you today?" My voice sounded calm and collected, which is good, considering the fact that I was unbelievably excited that I was actually getting a case.

"Our friend has gone missing, and we're all really worried." Another nod from me.

"All right, what's her name? Also, I will need her coat and mane colour, eye colour, cutie mark and a list of any enemies she might have," I said, pulling a note pad and quill out of one of the desk drawers.

"Her name is Lyra Heartstrings. She has an aquamarine coat and mane and her cutie mark is a golden lyre. She has golden eyes, and as far as I'm aware she doesn't have any enemies." The one on the left spoke this time. I wrote all this down before looking back up.

"How long has she been gone?"

"Four days." Another few words written down.

"Did she take anything with her? Food, clothes, her instrument?"

"No, that's the strangest thing. She got up and left without telling anypony." I frowned as I noted that down. I would have surmised that she was running away if she had taken food or clothes, and I was very surprised that she hadn't taken her instrument. I leaned forward into the light and smiled, glancing at the date.

"Don't worry, you three. I'll have her back within two weeks." Relief flooded into the features of all three of the ponies. "But I didn't catch your names?"

The middle one smiled. "I'm Vinyl Scratch, that's Octavia and that's Bon Bon." They turned to leave, when Vinyl suddenly spun back around. "Before I forget, Twilight Sparkle asked me to give you this." She floated a letter over in front of me.

I stared at the letter apprehensively. "Why would I want this?" My voice dripped with venom. "Why would I want something that's been written by her?" I took the letter and placed it in the one drawer on my desk with a lock. I slammed the drawer shut and sealed the lock with magic before turning back to face the three rather shocked ponies.

Vinyl stared at me, but it was Octavia who spoke up, her cultured voice clearly showing her surprise. "What do you have against Twilight Sparkle?"

I shook my head. "That's between me and her. Off you go now, I have to find your friend." My voice had of course reverted to its usual calm tone now. The three ponies hesitated for a moment, then left, leaving me alone once more.

I stared at the drawer as if it might explode, which considering it contained a letter sent by Twilight Sparkle, was entirely possible. I lifted the notepad up and looked at it again, quickly memorizing the details.

I stood and stretched, before levitating my favorite hat off its stand and plonking it on my head. I smiled to myself. "Magic is so useful; I don't think I could stand being a earth pony."

I locked the apartment behind me, trotted down the stairs and left Nightmare Apartments, nodding to the landlord, Havoc, on my way out. Havoc was an ex-detective with a green coat and dark brown mane. He been forced into early retirement after he lost his right foreleg. As an ex-detective, he knew how hard business was for me at the moment. He had reduced the rent significantly, but I had still had to get a second job at a bank to cover expenses, such as food.

I slipped through the narrow side streets of Canterlot, not wanting to come into contact with anypony else at this time. I knew I was going to need information, and the best pony for that was my friend, Jake.

Jake's real name is Perfect Stitch, and he runs a legitimate business, Stitch Tailors, in Canterlot. However, he is also highly regarded in the underworld. If you want info on somepony, anypony, he would almost always have up to date information, give or take about a week.

It was around midday, and the number of ponies on the streets was increasing as I walked into his store. "How may I help you on this fine day, sir?" Jake asked me as I entered. The room I stood in acted as his legitimate business area, with exquisite suits and dresses decorating the walls of the shop.

"I'm looking for a jacket, for a party in a few days."

"Certainly sir. Please follow me, and we'll get you measured up." Jake stepped away from the counter and led me into a second room. My horn tingled as I stepped through the door. I could tell the room had been protected against all eavesdropping, be it magical or physical. In this business, there is no such thing as ‘too careful’.

The door swung closed silently behind me, and Jake's face broke out into a huge smile. "Finally get a case did you?" His voice was low and tough.

I smiled back. "Yep, looks like one’s going to be easy. A single missing mare, shouldn't take more than a week."

Jake sat down behind the desk that dominated the room. "So, what's her name?"

"Lyra Heartstrings."

Jake's head snapped up. "Lyra H-? As in THE Lyra Heartstrings?"

"You know her?"

"Know her? I love her... music." Jake, one of the toughest ponies I know, blushed a little.

"Oh... kay. Well, I need her file, her parents’ files, and can you see if she has any enemies?"

"That'll take time. You gonna wait here?"

I nodded. "Sure, it's not like I have anything else to do."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Twilight was, as was her norm, reading at the pedestal in the library, but looked up when a knock sounded at the door. "Come on in," she called; a moment later, Vinyl opened the door. "So, did he take the case?" Vinyl nodded. "Good. If anypony can find Lyra, it's him. Did he read my letter?"

"No, he just threw into one of his desk drawers, and wouldn't give us any reason. What does he have against you anyway?"

Twilight sighed. "He has every right to act that way. I cost him his career after all."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story, and not one I have the right to tell."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jake handed me three files. The first had Lyra's name on it. The second had her parents’ names - Cello Heartstrings and Rising Bass - and the third had the name 'Abandon Harp' written on it. I opened Lyra's file and flicked through it.

"She's an exceptionally good girl. Not a single fault, not even a late fine at a library."

"So, quite the opposite of you and I?"

Jake nodded solemnly. "Yep. Her parents check out as well."

"So who's this 'Abandon Harp' character?"

Jake grimaced. "A very bad pony. He was a convicted criminal who became a harp player. He has come second to Lyra in multiple music competitions. At the latest one, he swore revenge on her."

"Seems like our pony then. Do you have his address?"

"In the file."

"Just in case, see if you find anypony else that might want her harmed, would you? Even the smallest threat." I slipped the three files into my saddlebag, nodded my thanks to Jake, and left. It was only when I was walking back to the apartment that I realized I‘d forgotten to see if Jake had found out anything about my past.

I trotted up the stairs, nodding again to Havoc, and pushed open my apartment door. The inside was the same as I had left it. I sat down behind my desk, and began to read.

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Two

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Two

I woke the next morning with a pounding headache. Rubbing my head I stumbled into the ensuite. Glancing in the mirror, I straightened my mane and smoothed my coat. As I did every morning, I tried to remember anything about my past, but came up blank. Four different psychiatrists had attempted to help me and failed.

I walked back into my bedroom, and grabbed my hat off the floor. Moving quickly, I grabbed my saddlebag and swung it across my back. My first house call today was to Lyra's parents. Then I was going to meet Abandon, and probably beat the stuffing out of him.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lyra opened her eyes slowly. She went to moan, but found she was gagged with what tasted like an old gym sock. She found she couldn't stand either, all four of her legs bound. Using what little leverage she could muster, she looked around. The room she was in was dark, and it stank of excrement.

She attempted to focus some magic, but the best she got was a small spark, barely enough to light up her face.

A high pitched, nasally voice echoed around her. "Ah, good. You're awake. I've waited for this moment for a long time. Let me tell you something. Lyra Heartstrings, you are going to die a slow and painful death." His high-pitched laughter echoed around the room.

Lyra curled up into a ball and began to cry.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I strode confidently through the streets of Canterlot, heading for the Paradise Apartments. I had of course read Lyra's file, and I knew that she hadn't spoken with her parents in a few years. This wasn't surprising, considering that her parents hadn’t approved of her career choice.

I slid through the front doors of the Apartments and made my way up the staircase. Her parents lived on the eighth floor, but I was fit, and before long I had reached their landing. I trotted up to the front door and knocked briskly. A moment later, the door swung open to reveal a sleepy-eyed mare. She rubbed an eye before yawning out, "Who are you?"

"Ma'am, I'm Ardman, a private detective. I'm currently trying to locate your daughter, Lyra Heartstrings." My voice was clipped and professional.

She rubbed her eye again, before my words hit home. "Lyra's missing?" She screeched.

I blinked several times. "Ouch... Yes, your daughter is missing. Do you mind if I come in? I want to speak to you about her." The mare nodded, and I stepped inside.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lyra woke with a start. She found herself still bound, only this time, there was a single candle glowing on the floor outside her cage. She screamed into her gag. Not only was she bound, she was in a bucking cage!

Her captor giggled at these attempts. "It's quite amusing to see you struggle. Nopony can hear you, and nopony will find you. You are going to die, and I am going to watch."

Lyra screamed into her gag again and tried to loosen her bonds, all to no avail.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I sat down on the single chair in the room, Lyra's parents on the couch facing me. They had offered me tea, and I had politely refused. Now Cello Heartstrings - the mare - was crying, and Rising Bass - Lyra's father - was doing his best not to. "What happened?" His voice was soft, scared.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. As far as I can tell, five days ago, Lyra just vanished. No note, no food or clothes taken, not even her lyre."

"That doesn't sound like Lyra at all. She loved that lyre more anything else in the world. It was a present from her grandmother. She never went anywhere without it." The stallion sounded shocked.

"Never?"

"Never."

"I understand that you haven't spoken in a few years."

The stallion nodded. "Once Lyra moved to Ponyville, she stopped sending letters. She even stopped coming to visit us when she was in Canterlot. I think it was mainly due to to the fact we made it clear we didn't like her choices."

"What choices? As I understand it, you're both musicians."

"Yes, but we wanted her to be a musician here in Canterlot. And she has a marefriend." His voice was hushed as he said this, as if he was ashamed.

"So? So she loves a mare instead of a stallion. I don't see how that matters."

"We just always thought she'd settle down with a stallion, have a few children, continue the legacy." His voice was still quiet.

My anger boiled below my calm exterior. I was truly sick and tired of ponies who couldn't accept two mares going out. I saw no problem with it and when it became something like this I just couldn't stand it.

"So, can you think of anypony that would want to kidnap Lyra?" I said, diverting the conversation away from dangerous waters.

"No, not really. She was nice to everypony."

I sighed. "Thank you for your help. As I said to her friends, I'll have her back before two weeks have passed." I stood up, shook both their hooves, and left.

I tracked my way to the Canterlot station. From there, I would catch a half-hour train ride to Ponyville, where I would confront Abandon. Everypony avoided me. I had a reputation in this town, a reputation that I shouldn't be bothered unless you had a serious problem. Even after the incident six months ago, my reputation remained.

The station loomed in front of me. It was an imposing building, but strangely welcoming. I walked out onto the platform and sat down. The train would be here in five minutes, not much time at all.

Exactly five minutes later the train pulled to a halt in front of me. I jumped on board, taking one of the vacant window seats. Staring out the window, I watched the scenery race past as the train pulled out of the station.

"Excuse me... there are no other seats left... Would you mind if I sat here?" a soft voice asked me.

I turned around to see a yellow pegasus with a light pink mane staring nervously at me. "Hm... Oh yeah, sure, go ahead."

She nodded her thanks. "My name is Fluttershy, by the way," she said in her quiet voice.

"I'm Ardman. Did you say your name was Fluttershy?"

"Oh, yes."

"As in friend of Twilight Sparkle? Fluttershy, Fluttershy... oh, you're the Element of Kindness."

"You know Twilight?" she asked, her voice growing in confidence.

"We've met on a few occasions."

"I wonder why she never mentions you..."

"It doesn't matter. We only met a few times, I'm nopony special."

"Oh, but everypony is special. I'll have to ask her when we get back to Ponyville."

"You do that. I have other matters to attend to." I turned my head and looked out at the scenery that rushed past. Fluttershy muttered something, but I had long stopped paying attention.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The train screeched to a halt, throwing my daydreaming form forward. I flung a hoof out to arrest my forward motion, but I was too late and my head slammed into the seat in front of me. Fluttershy's voice cut through my headache.

"Oh my gosh, are you all right?" Nodding slowly to avoid aggravating my headache, I climbed out of the seat. Together with Fluttershy I left the train, my attention immediately drawn to the town in front of me.

"So... Ponyville." The town was rustic, with simple houses and stores. I almost smiled, then the memory of Twilight's betrayal floated into my head and the smile vanished.

"Yes, it's great here. I'm going to see Twilight." Fluttershy started to leave.

"Before you go, do you know where I can find Abandon Harp?"

"Mister Harp? Oh yes, he lives just down the road there," she replied, pointing in the direction of his house.

I thanked her and left, walking with purpose straight towards Harp's door. I knocked, already thinking about how I was going to beat him up.

The door swung open, revealing a huge pony with a dark, blood red coat and a black mane. He was a spitting image of the photo I had seen. There could be no doubt that this was Abandon Harp, and I was going to need backup if I wanted to take him on.

"Yes?" His voice was gravelly, but it had a deeper quality, almost compassionate.

"Are you Abandon Harp?" I asked, my voice rising a few octaves in pitch.

"I am indeed. What can I do for you?"

"I'm Ardman. I'd like to speak with you about Lyra Heartstrings."

"Lyra? Yeah, yeah of course, come on in."

I walked inside cautiously, waiting for some sort of trap to spring into action, but none did. He guided me to one of the chairs in the living room.

"Would you like some tea?" he asked me. I shook my head, my mind reeling at this pony. He was supposed to be a big, bad criminal, but he was acting so civilized. Civilized! He sat down opposite me, a steaming cup of tea between his hooves. "So, what did you want to know about Lyra?"

"She's been kidnapped." I realise, in retrospect, that this was a little blunt.

Harp choked on his tea. "She's been kidnapped? Wait, why'd you come to me?"

"You shouted to the world that you would get revenge after one of the competitions."

"And I did, I replaced her shampoo with mane dye. She was neon orange for weeks," he said with a snort; before long he couldn’t hold it in any more and a huge, joyous laugh filled the room.

Once he had finished, my anger got the best of me. "Well, this is just bucking great. You were the only suspect."

"I was your only suspect?"

"Well, you were a criminal and Lyra has no other enemies."

"Which is exactly why I took up the harp!" He exclaimed. "I stopped the criminal acts long ago, but ponies still hated me. So I took up the harp, in an attempt to change my image. Surely you know what it's like to try to lose a bad rap, don't you detective?"

If I had any sort of happiness left in my body, it abandoned me then. "Yes, I do know what it's like. But now, I have nothing. Thank you for your time, Harp." I gave a brief smile that I'm sure he saw right through.

As I stepped outside, the smile dropped. I had no leads, no suspects, no clue. I was back at square one.

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I sighed. As it turns out, Ponyville doesn't have a restaurant that meets my high expectations. I turned slowly, looking for something even slightly appetizing. "Get yer fresh apples here! Straight from Sweet Apple Acres!" I spun to face the source of the shout - a stall adorned with a huge sign reading 'Sweet Apple Acres' and staffed by an enthusiastic filly with a yellow coat and red mane. Nopony was approaching the stall, instead shying away from it whenever the filly turned in their direction. As I neared it, I heard her mutter, "I guess nopony wants apples today."

"I'll take an apple." She looked up at me hopefully, then back down again.

"Nah, yah just wanna make me feel better."

"No, I really do want one of your apples!" I exclaimed, and my stomach growled affirmation. I licked my lips; the apples smelled so good...

"Really? Oh, well they're three bits each."

"Just one for the moment." I tossed the three bits over and she deftly caught them in her hoof, tossing me an apple in return. I stared at it and sniffed it once, drawing in its intoxicating aroma.

This better taste as good as it smells. I took a bite, and stopped breathing. The juice spilled down my chin, but I just sat there. The flavor ran through me, its unstoppable deliciousness racing over my tongue. A single tear ran down my cheek.

I raised the apple and took another bite. The succulent fruit- wait, this is getting weird. Oh, who am I kidding? The succulent fruit was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted.

"Hey, hey mister. Are you OK?"

I shook myself out of my reverie. "Wha - oh yes, yes I'm all right. It's just that I've never had such a delicious apple before. Tell me, what's your name?"

"Ah'm Apple Bloom. Ah'm trying to get mah cutie mark in selling apples."

"Really? Huh, to each their own I suppose."

"What do you mean? Ah need mah cutie mark."

"Why are you so desperate to get your cutie mark?"

"Why am Ah so desperate? ‘Cos yer cutie mark is the most important thing ever!"

"I wouldn't say that. A cutie mark restricts you, forever marking your path in life. I would enjoy your time without it, make the most of it, then enjoy your life even more when you get it. Don't try and force it, and in the process forget to enjoy life." I smiled and took another bite of the apple.

"What gives you the right ta be so cynical?" a new voice interrupted me. Swallowing, I turned to face an annoyed earth mare with an orange coat and yellow mane. A stetson rested on her head.

"Well Miss..."

"Applejack."

"Well Miss Applejack, I'm not being cynical, I'm telling her the truth. Besides, it doesn't seem to have diminished her spirit any." I went to take another bite, only to have the apple snatched out of my magical grasp. "Hey! That's my apple."

"Just who are you? And why is there an invitation in yer mane?"

I reached up and pulled a bright pink envelope out of my mane. "I - what - how did she...?” I paused to shake my head in bafflement. “I'm Ardman. As for the invitation..." I opened it to find an even brighter pink card inside, inviting 'all ponies' to a party for me. "It appears to be for my party, thrown by Pinkie Pie." I stared at the invitation, perplexed. "There seems to be something stuck to it." I grunted as I attempted to pull off whatever was stuck to the back of the invitation, which stubbornly refused to budge. Glaring, I gave it another tug and with a small pop, the note came free.

Ardman,

Go see Twilight. Now.

Pinkie.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Spike sprinted up the stairs and into Twilight's bedroom. He stood there, gasping, a scroll clenched in his claws. "Twilight. I-I just got this letter. But - it's not from Princess Celestia." He tossed her the letter and she caught it easily in her magic. Running her eyes over it, she stared at the seal. It was a simple 'J'.

"No way." She muttered softly as she opened the scroll. "Jake?"

To my old ally Twilight,

I hope the path we opened through Spike still works. Assuming you have received this letter, I have a few things I need

you to do. The first is to pass the accompanying information onto Ardman. It is imperative that he receives it with all due

haste. Second, I need you to be on your guard. The pony that most likely kidnapped Lyra has good connections. I'm

doing all I can on this end to interfere, but some might still slip through. And finally, tell Ardman ‘the sparrow flies south

for the winter’. He'll know what I mean. Good luck.

Jake.

The purple unicorn's eyes flickered over the words, re-reading them to ensure she had understood them correctly. "’The sparrow flies south for the winter’? What does that even mean? And who's this pony that has good connections?" She held the sealed report in one hoof and the letter in the other. "Do I take a sneak peek? Or do I trust Jake's judgement?" After a further moment’s indecision she moved to open it, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Puzzled, she trotted down the stairs and opened the front door. Three tough-looking stallions stood outside, dressed in dark suits and hats. "Miss Sparkle?" The lead stallion inquired.

"Depends who's asking."

"Our employer has... an interest in your work."

"My work? But I'm simply a normal librarian in a normal town."

The stallion leaned down and glared at her. "You are not a normal librarian and this is not a normal town. So I'll ask nicely once. Will you let us in? Or will we have to force our way in?"

Twilight grinned a childish grin, one normally seen on a foal who finally got to do something new and exciting. The words she uttered next were words that held a certain power, words used by a pony in only the best of opportunities, words she had heard from one particular pony, a pony she had looked up to for years, and words he had said many a time.

"Come on then, if you think you're hard enough."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I ran through the streets, as fast as my hooves could carry me. It's true I held no love for Twilight, but I felt I could trust Pinkie; for whatever reason she thought I should see Twilight, and so to see Twilight I went.

I rounded the corner just in time to see huge stallion go flying into a wall. I ran my eye over his clothes, instantly recognising them as those of a Mob thug. The Mob were one of the largest criminal organizations in Equestria, their main base of operations residing in Los Pegasus. Why would a mobster be - oh. I stared at the gaping holes in the 'Treebrary' as Twilight had called it. Through the huge dust cloud that had somehow gathered inside the Treebrary, I could just make out purple and red magic blasts being exchanged.

I sighed. Trotting slowly forward, I muttered, "What did you go and do now, you arrogant little -" Another mobster went flying past me, cutting off the rest of my sentence, before he crashed into a wall.

From inside I heard a deep voice exclaim in triumph. "Gotcha now. Nowhere left to go is there?" I stepped through one of the many holes and blinked at the scene in front of me.

The target of my hate for the past six months lay battered and bruised, her usually immaculate coat stained with dirt and small amounts of blood. Above her loomed the third mobster, his horn ready to deliver the final blow. “Now then, what do you think you’re doing?” I stepped past the startled thug and up to Twilight. “What happened here?”

She sniffed. “These three attacked me, and I thought I could take them.”

I raised an eyebrow as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “Don’t cry now, it’ll be alright.” I let a little warmth flow into my voice and held up a hoof, which she took. Lifting her to her hooves, I turned to face the mobster. “Now, as much as I hate Twilight here, I cannot stand to see a mare cry.” I lifted a hoof to my hat, and tipped the brim down. “Do you know who I am, good sir?”

The mobster shrugged. “You don’t look familiar.”

"What a shame. I thought the biggest enemy of your organisation would provoke some sort of memory. Ah well."

The mobster looked at me, confused. "Biggest enemy? Who are you?"

I tilted my hat up, and grinned manically. "My name is Ardman. Also known as the Demon Detective, the pony without a soul, the Creature Born of Darkness. Do any of these names ring a bell?"

The mobster's eyes widened. "The Demon D-d-detective? What are you doing here? I thought you died."

I frowned. "It takes more than seventeen-point-five percent body lacerations and several blunt force trauma wounds to kill me."

Twilight gasped. "You suffered all that?"

"Because of you, yes. Anyway, little stallion, now you know what you face: the Demon Detective and the Element of Magic. You still want to fight?" The mobster shook his head, turned and ran. My voice echoed behind him. "Tell your boss that no amount of wounds or rumours will keep me down."

I turned to face Twilight, wiping the tears from her eyes. "It's all right, they're gone now." She sniffled, and I chuckled. "Really? You faced a goddess and didn't flinch, but three mobsters and you're terrified?"

She blinked fresh tears out of her eyes. "That last mobster, before you arrived, threatened to do things. Bad things."

I stared at her. "You mean?" I pointed down, and she nodded. I swore. "Listen Twi, we both know I don't believe in revenge, or vengeance, but there's a reason I continue with this hatred. I can't tell you why though." I turned away from her, and my eyes slid closed. "Twilight, I've spilt so much blood, so much it's stained my soul."

I snorted. "Ponies call me the pony without a soul, but I have a soul, I just buried any sign of it." I paused. "And now I've said too much."

I looked over my shoulder at her. "Twilight, for your safety, I have to maintain that I hate you, and you must maintain your ignorance of me. I beg you. You have anything else to say?"

She stared at me, and I could see her mind working. Finally she nodded. "I got a letter from Jake." She pulled out a file and hoofed it to me.

I flipped through the pages of the file, before coming to a stop at the message at the bottom of the letter. "The sparrow flies south for the winter..."

"Yeah, I don't know what it means, but it seems pretty important."

I shrugged. "Hmm... it does have a special meaning. You know, I'm almost sorry for what I have to do next."

"Wait, what?" She looked at me in confusion, before my hoof connected with her muzzle.

Author's Note

Right... well. This chapter took longer than I thought it would, due my inability to get anything done on time. Also, I would like ot thank Starfall for editing all the chapters so far, and for the patience shown.

Pariah out.

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Five

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Five

As my hoof connected, I heard a satisfying crunch and Twilight crumpled to the floor, unconscious. A gasp interrupted my thoughts, and I turned to find myself staring at a shocked dragon. Half-grinning, I walked out of the same hole I had entered, a small feeling of happiness flowing through my limbs. I trotted back through the market, found a open air cafe and dropped onto a seat.

Almost instantly a waitress appeared next to me. "What can I get for you today?"

"Just a cappuccino thanks." She nodded and walked off, leaving me alone. Slowly I opened the file and stared at the name at the top: Rich Disk.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lyra shook her head as she woke. She was in the same room as last time, and lying next to her was Octavia. She pulled herself closer and whispered. "Octavia."

Octavia stirred slowly. "Wha- Lyra? Where are we?"

Before she could answer, a familiar high-pitch voice giggled. "Don't you remember, Tavi? Is it OK if I call you that? Or is Scratch the only one who can call you that? Anyway, I'll refresh your memory for you. I kidnapped you as insurance." The speaker, out of view of both ponies, continued, "Though I think I'm going to hurt you later on. It'll be great fun... for me."

As the unseen pony’s hoofsteps faded away, Octavia looked at Lyra. "We hired a detective named Ardman. Twilight thinks highly of him."

"But now that you're here, he won't be able to do anything! He won't risk it."

Octavia frowned. "Well, he’d better, otherwise I'm breaking out of here myself."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I sipped my coffee and flipped through the report. It detailed Rich Disk’s history: how he had failed as a DJ after being beaten in numerous competitions by Lyra; how he had a house here in Ponyville; and, most importantly, how he was the son of 'The King', the reputed leader of the Mob. "I suppose that explains the mobsters, but what about Jake's message?"

He had used a code that I hadn't heard since its creation. To say that 'the sparrow flies south for the winter' was Jake's way of telling me that whatever I did next, he would stand by it. A kind of final sanction. I finished my coffee and stood up. I had everything I needed; a location, a suspect and most importantly, a sanction. But first, I had a party to attend.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I approached the building cautiously. It appeared to be made completely out of gingerbread, but such a thing could never support itself. Ignoring the physical impossibility of the structure, it smelt and looked delicious. The scent of a thousand different desserts wafted from the building, and the sound of heavy bass pounded outwards.

The moon had risen, and I was in my element. I was and, as far as I can tell, always have been a creature of the night. I passed through the front door and was confronted with quite a scene. Ponies filled the room, dancing to their heart's content or chatting to others, despite the bass that filled the room. Vinyl was of course providing said bass, Rainbow hovering protectively nearby.

A pink pony dropped from the sky and landed in front of me. "Oh boy, you're here. Now we can really get this party started!"

"It wasn't started already? And why did you drop from the sky?"

"Nope, this is just the pre-party warm-up. And I didn't drop from the sky," she said, looking at me in confusion.

I nodded my head. "You kinda did. Straight down in front of me." I blinked a few times. "Oh, that's right. How did you know for me to go see Twilight?"

"My Pinkie sense, of course."

"Your what?"

"My Pinkie sense. I had an ear twitch, leg shake, eye cramp and an itchy nose."

"And that equated to...?"

"A message from Twilight to you."

"You got all of that... from some weird body movements?"

"Yup." She grinned, then trotted over to talk to somepony else. I stared at her for a second before walking over to the refreshments. Lifting up a glass of punch, my gaze swept over the gathering. Ponies of every size, colour and shape filled the room with a veritable sea of energy.

I almost smiled. Moving my body slowly in time with the beat, I worked my way over to the turntables. Any thought of a smile vanished as I reached Vinyl. Behind her sunglasses I could see the stains of recent tears, and once more my heart, which had been closed for so long, yearned to open for her.

Why, after all these years, was I being affected so? I had seen ponies eviscerated, torn limb from limb. I had seen newly-made widows and widowers cry. I had sacrificed my soul and left any feelings of guilt and regret behind. Perhaps then, I hadn't become soulless; rather I had donned a mask, become the Demon Detective. Then why only now was that mask slipping? What was the catalyst?

I shook these thoughts from my head, and nodded to Vinyl. "How are you going?"

She shrugged, and turned to face me as the music continued to play. "I'm all right. I have to be, for Tavi."

I sighed. "You really believe that, don't you? Well, whatever helps I suppose." I glanced at Rainbow Dash. "You're incredibly loyal, you know that?"

She grinned. "I am the Element of Loyalty for a reason. And I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria. Vinyl explained everything that's happened so far, so I'm up to date."

I groaned. "What, is everypony here an Element of Harmony?" I instantly regretted my question as Pinkie popped up next to me.

"Nope. Only me, Twilight, Rarity, Dashie, Fluttershy and Applejack are Elements."

I stared at her for a second. "So I've already met three of them? That seems a bit too much to be coincidental."

Pinkie shrugged. "I think the author is actually making a point that we are here in Ponyville, so you should expect to come across us."

I stared at her, causing Rainbow to lean in and whisper, "Don't take too much notice of what she says. Nopony understands what she's talking about half the time."

Nodding sagely, I finished the glass of punch and walked back down to get another. "Tonight's been pretty good. As far as I can tell, nothing has gone horribly, terribly wrong." And just as I uttered these words, something went horribly and terribly wrong.

A low gasp echoed throughout the room. The music died and guests stopped dancing, everypony now staring at the bedraggled pony standing in the doorway. Her mane was torn and stained, her coat drenched in a mix of blood and sweat. In the shocked silence, Octavia's words were incredibly loud. "Help... me..." She said, before dropping like a stone.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lyra was dragged out of unconsciousness via a huge bucket of icy-cold water. As she spluttered, the high-pitched cackle of her captor echoed around the dungeon. "This is marvelous, marvelous indeed. I have decided to keep you alive for a little longer, so here." A plate of food and a large jug of water floated over, suspended in a deep orange aura. "Oh, we are going to-"

"Shut the buck up."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said, shut the buck up. I am well and truly sick of your crap." Lyra smiled mockingly, her tone sickly-sweet. "And Rich, if I ever get out of these chains, I'm going to wrap them around your throat." There was no reply as Lyra devoured the food and drink in front of her.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I sprung into action. "I need a doctor, now!" Rushing over to Octavia I checked her pulse, only to find it erratic. A brown pony galloped over and bent over the fallen mare.

"Erratic pulse, several broken ribs, severe internal bleeding and severe external bleeding as well; she's in a very bad way," he spoke rapidly as he examined the extent of her injuries. "I have to get her to the hospital immediately." Lifting her carefully, he raced off, running straight past Twilight, whose snout was wrapped heavily in bandages.

"What the hay happened here?" Twilight's voice echoed through the silent room.

"I believe Octavia somehow managed to escape her captors," I said as I stepped forward.

She glared at me. "And why did you break my snout?" The silence was deafening. "It'll take at least a week to heal."

I tapped my chin. "Why did I hit you in the snout? Why did I do that?" I paused. "Oh yes, I remember. Because I felt like a little revenge."

"Revenge for what?"

Come on brain, think of something. "Revenge..." Of course! "Revenge for tricking those mobsters into attacking me."

She raised an eyebrow with obvious skepticism, before objecting, "Oh come on. They attacked me first, then they just saw you and decided you were the bigger threat. It's not my fault you came to my library."

I grabbed her by the neck with my magic and dragged her close to me. I whispered in her ear, "Nice acting. We have to keep this up. Remember Twi, everything I do, I do to protect you."

She whispered back, "You're going to have explain that to me one of these days." Pushing away, she cried, "Let me go you brute!"

I shoved her away and turned to face the door. "I'm done here. I haven't the time nor the patience to deal with you." I departed, leaving a stunned silence in my wake.

Author's Note

........ Sorry. About the time it took to get this out that is. Really sorry.

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Six

C1: Chapter Six

Rich Disk was not happy. Not only had Octavia, his main bargaining chip, escaped, but somepony had ordered pizza. Striding towards the unfortunate mobster, smoke began to rise from his mane. It was a widely accepted fact that if a pony got angry enough, quickly enough, their mane and tail would catch fire. All Rich required was a spark. "Why in Equestria would you order pizza? I'm trying to torture somepony down there and keep it a secret and you go and order pizza!"

The mobster stared at the ground. "I was hungry. We don't have that much food and um... well..."

"I don't care how hungry you are, I can't have-" A knock at the door interrupted his tirade. "Look," he hissed, "go get your pizza, but consider yourself warned." The mobster nodded, before grinning and running off to get his pizza. Rich sighed and turned around; he still had some more torturing to do.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I boarded the train and slid into a seat, relaxing as the scenery raced by and Ponyville faded into the distance. "So, where are we off to then?" a familiar voice said, breaking the silence.

My eyes shot open and my head spun round, to be greeted by Vinyl sitting next to me, grinning. "What? What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming with you." She grinned even wider.

"No, you're not. Once this train reaches Canterlot, you are taking the first one back to Ponyville."

She pouted at me. "Please Ardman, let me come with you." Her sunglasses slipped down her snout and I caught a snatch of red fire burning, before her eyes were hidden again by the purple shades. "I want to hurt this bastard for what he did to Tavi."

I raised an eyebrow. "As much as I agree with the sentiment, and I really do, I can't let you do that." I watched as the sun began to drop behind the horizon and the last fading rays of light raced past. "Few ponies are allowed to operate above the law, and neither you nor I are one of them."

"But- but you said you killed ponies! How can you say that and then say that few ponies are allowed to operate above the law?" she scoffed.

The darkness glimmered in my eyes. "I said few are allowed to. That doesn't mean I can't."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Rich grinned as the poker began to glow red hot. Quickly, he walked round the corner to face the chained pony before him, who was currently asleep, even hanging awkwardly from the ceiling. A small jab from the poker brought her around and tore a scream from her throat. Grinning, he jabbed her again. "Oh, we’re going to have such fun together..."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As the train pulled to a stop, I looked over at Vinyl. "You not going to let up, are you?"

She shook her head. "Nnnnope."

"I'm sorry?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Inside joke, never mind. The point is, I will not stop following you till I get revenge on him."

Standing, I shook myself. "Fine, come on then." Sighing, I flipped my saddlebag onto my back, before gesturing for her to go first.

She grinned. "Why, thank you!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I walked into my apartment, Vinyl close behind, before slamming the door closed and sliding the bolt home. Sighing, I let the weight of the saddlebags slide off my back and onto the ground. Lifting them slowly, I placed them on their rack, before opening my bedroom door and gesturing for her to enter. She smiled slyly and walked in.

"So, what is it you want to show me?" she said, grinning coyly.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Miss Scratch. I'm here to show you what I plan to do tomorrow." I walked over to a chest that sat in the corner of the room. Lifting the lid, I pulled out an ornate sword hilt, intricate details carved into the near-black steel.

"What is that?" she asked, eyes fixed on the hilt.

"A relic from the past, made by somepony ancient. It is called the Dusk Blade, and I also have the Dawn and Noon Blades in there as well." I spun the hilt slowly in the air, suspended in my magic.

"Well, it's not much of a blade, is it?" She raised an eyebrow.

My eyes slid closed as I reached into the bottomless pit of magic that was the sword hilt. Concentrating, I forced the magic to take the shape of a simple single-edged blade. A gasp from Vinyl confirmed that the blade had in fact come into existence. I opened my eyes and my jaw dropped.

Instead of the simple blade I had imagined, a huge, wickedly-curved scimitar extended from the hilt. "I-I don't understand. It's never taken this form before."

Vinyl stared at the dark-metal blade that had erupted from the hilt. "How did you do that?" she asked, her mouth agape.

I stared at the blade. Along the spine a single sentence shone in a low, dark red, etched into the metal: Even in darkness there is light. Shaking my head, I looked at Vinyl. "Well Miss Scratch, I'm not sure how it came to be this shape, but I made the blade by focusing the magic in the hilt into the sword you see before you."

Vinyl stared at the sword a little longer, before looking at me. "So what now?"

I gestured to the bed. "You are going to get some rest. I am going to have a look around Canterlot."

She nodded. "And tomorrow we take on Rich Disk?"

"Yes." Vinyl nodded and slid into bed as I walked outside. I almost felt bad about lying to her, especially about the full story of the swords, but I wasn't going to let her get involved in my work.

As the door swung shut, I descended the steps of the hotel. The sword slid quietly back into the hilt, and I manipulated the hilt into the shape of a necklace, which I placed around my neck.

I walked out into the silent streets of Canterlot, and walked to the train station. Less than an hour later I was onboard the train to Ponyville once again, and headed to face Rich Disk in a battle that would ultimately determine my future.

A Stolen Lyra: Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I was sitting outside Harp's house, wondering where I was supposed to go next, when suddenly a pink blur zoomed past me. I blinked several times, my gaze following the blur's path. My head snapped back to the front, only to find a pink earth pony hanging upside-down in front of me. "How are you-"

"Ohmygosh, you're new here! What's your name? Oh, I have to throw a party for you and-" Well she actually kept talking after that, but I zoned out. Once I realised she had stopped talking to me, I started paying attention to her again. "Did you just stop listening to me?"

"What? No, no of course not."

"But it says you did, just up there," she said, pointing at something in the air behind my head. "Anyways, I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?"

"I'm Ardman, private detective."

"Wow, a private detective! That must be fun. Did you say your name was Ardman? I think Twilight has mentioned you. Do you know Twilight?"

I seriously don't know how she managed to say so much in such a short space of time. "Yes, I know Twilight. You're friends with her?"

"Yeah! We're the bestest friends, and we’re both Elements of Harmony!"

"You're an Element of Harmony?" I said, trying my hardest to keep the skepticism out of my voice.

"Yeah, I'm the Element of Laughter."

"Riiiiight. Hey, actually, could you tell me where I can find Vinyl Scratch?"

"Vinyl? Oh yeah, she lives just down there. I'll see you at the party, it'll be later tonight at Sugarcube Corner. Don't miss it!" she said, and then she just vanished. No joke, she just disappeared.

Shaking my head I turned, only to run straight into the very pony I had been about to visit. "Vinyl? Oh perfect, I was just- what's wrong?"

She looked up at me, tears emerging from underneath her opaque sunglasses and streaming down her face. "They took Tavi! They took her!"

"Wait, what?"

"They took Octavia, you stupid pony!" she shouted at me, her voice filled with fear.

"Slow down. Who took her?" I asked, ignoring her snipe at my intelligence.

"Who do you think? Whoever took Lyra!"

"Right, come on, have a seat over here." I directed her over to the nearby bench. She collapsed onto it, sobs wracking her body. I opened my mouth to question her further when a hoof connected with my cheek. I turned to face my assailant, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, as I tried to rub the pain away.

Rolling my jaw, I raised an eyebrow. "What was that for?"

She glared at me. "You made Vinyl cry."

"No, I didn't. She's crying because Octavia has been kidnapped." I faced Vinyl again. "Speaking of which, how do you know that?"

A note floated out, suspended in her magic. It flipped through the air and wobbled uncertainly before I caught it. Apprehensively, I unfolded it.

Dear Ardman,

I hope this letter reaches you.

I have 'acquired' a new friend - her name is Octavia.

I have no quarrel with you, nor with Miss Scratch. However, if she does not cancel her contract with you, I'll send you Octavia's head in a box.

Have a nice day.

The note fluttered to the ground. "Ardman, are you all right?" Vinyl asked, looking at me nervously.

"No, I'm not all right." My voice was low and dangerous. "In my four and a half years of work, only twice has my client been kidnapped. In both of those cases, the pony responsible thought to make similar claims. Neither of those criminals made it out alive." I rose to my hooves. "I think it best if you cancel your contract with me."

"What?! But what about Octavia? And Lyra?"

"Don't worry, I'll still look into this case; I will find Lyra and Octavia. Consider it a personal favor."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Lyra came around once again, and quickly discovered she no longer had a gag. She went to scream, but a hoof forced its way into her mouth.

"I wouldn't bother, there's nopony around for miles. It seems your friends thought to hire a private detective, one of the best actually. However, I threw him off the scent and just in case..." The pony stepped to the side, revealing a trussed-up and unconscious Octavia. "She is my insurance. One sniff that Ardman has attempted to find you, and she dies."

Lyra could finally see her captor, a dark orange unicorn with an almost golden mane. "Hey, don't I know you?" she managed to gasp out once the hoof was removed.

"Obviously - I'm getting my revenge on you," he said sarcastically, before turning and leaving the room.

Lyra screamed insults that would've made Nightmare Moon pause for thought, but he didn't return.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It had taken only a few minutes to reach Vinyl's house, and in that time I hadn't learnt much. Vinyl was still too distraught to tell me anything, and the pegasus, whose name I had discovered was Rainbow Dash, was still suspicious of me.

Vinyl opened the front door and stepped inside. The hall was spartan, its only decoration a single wall-mounted photo of Octavia and Vinyl smiling at the camera. The passage continued forward, with only two doorways breaking the clean white walls of the hallway. Through the first could be seen a room that was organized chaos. The second was a lounge room dominated by a large white couch. Looking at Vinyl, I indicated the first room. "Your study?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Vinyl, what happened?"

"I came home, walked into the kitchen and found this note on the table, beside Tavi's bow-tie."

"Show me."

As we walked into the kitchen, I noticed small signs of disturbance - a scuff mark here, cracked plaster there. The average pony might ignore these, but an extremely neat pony such as Octavia seemed to be would've dealt with them immediately. "So Vinyl, how long have you and Octavia been dating?"

"I'm sorry, what?" she scoffed.

"Come now, you think I didn't notice? When you first visited me, you shared a loving look as you left. You have a cute nickname for her, and most importantly there's only one bedroom in this house."

"How did you know there’s only one bedroom?"

"First, this is a medium-sized house, which means six or seven rooms. That means, minus this kitchen, the two rooms we've already passed, the fact that you have to have a bathroom and laundry and Octavia's study, there's only one room left. And most importantly, you just asked how I knew there was only one bedroom."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said nervously.

"Mhm. Where's Octavia's study?"

"Down the hall on the left," she replied, gesturing in the general direction. I nodded my thanks and approached the door gingerly. The room beyond was a mess - the desk lay on its side; on the floor lay a shattered cello, the broken edges covered in blood; paper was everywhere and several hard-covered books had been scattered around the floor. Finally, the wall had a massive hole in it, through which I assumed the interloper had entered.

In my mind’s eye, I could see the scene unfold around me.

The room is lit by a few sparse candles, the blinds drawn. She’s practising in secret, probably for Vinyl.

The wall explodes inwards, and the interloper appears, wreathed in the midday sun. I assume he says something dramatic.

Octavia throws her cello at him in an attempt to stop him. It fails, as he catches it before smashing it over her head. She collapses, and he drags her off, messing the room up to give the impression of a struggle.

I stepped inside, careful not to disturb anything. "Vinyl, get in here."

"What do you- woah." She stared open-mouthed at the scene.

"Call the guards. Get them to analyse this blood. It's going to be Octavia's but I'd like to be sure. And don't mention the note." I spun and left the room.

"What? Why?"

"I have to keep a low profile. If the kidnapper gets even a whiff that I’m still on the case, he'll kill Octavia." I trotted up to Rainbow. "I don't know much about who you are, but you seem trustworthy. You're not to let her out of your sight. All right, I'm off."

As I left Vinyl's house I sighed and looked at the sun, which had dropped considerably. "Almost time for that party. I have a feeling I should attend. I should probably get something to eat beforehoof. I wonder if there are any good restaurants around here..."