Author's Note

Please leave me comments. I love feedback. This story is solely based on image cover. It just sparked an idea in my head. It may have some clop in it later.

Chapter 1: Dirty Horse Box

He was getting tired of this. You'd think after nine months of this crap that he would be used to it but, no. It was still just as bad as when he got here. Quickening his pace down the busy Ponyville streets. He could see the castle. At least he is a little safer there than on the streets where it could….strike at any time.

This was…Anon. A somewhat normal-looking human male in a blue business suit. Maybe a little doh-y in the middle than some humans and a bit taller. Other than that he was your average Joe. At least on earth that is. Sadly because of a random crystal related portal that may or may not open up again in A THOUSAND YEARS, he was currently stuck in a place called Equestria.

This place was ruled by magical talking multi-colored ponies. Luckily for him, they had been pretty friendly. They got him a job, and one of the princesses of the land even let him stay at her castle rent-free. But, this was also the problem he was having here and that problem stepped right in front of his path as he was walking. He had to slam on the brakes not to crash into the mare that had entered his path.

A yellow furred mare had stepped in front of him. A blush already across her face. A sigh left his lips as he saw it. Those big green eyes staring up at him. She had done up her red rose hair to look nice. She had put effort into how she looked just to interact with him. Which met he couldn't just step past her even if it had been a long day.

"H-hello…Anon. I-it's fancy seeing you here." She muttered out.

"…Well we're in the middle of the street and you kind of stepped out in front of me so…" Looking down at her as he spoke with an expression of "PLEASE CELESTIA KILL ME." on his face.

"Ya….I mean…I just kind of. Ya know…I just wanted to um…" Rubbing her left leg with her hoof as she looked up at him the blush growing larger across her skin.

Arching an eyebrow at her before clearing his throat. "Whelp I better get going Twilight needs me at the castle and you know how she can be." Giving her a nod before quickly sidestepping her.

"Ooo right um….I AM ROSE. Wait…you already knew that. Umm COME BY MY SHOP. I…I have nice flowers." She shouted as Anon's pace went into a sprint walk.

That right there…that was his problem. It seemed in this world a human's scent had…an effect on mares and even some stallions. There were several problems with this in his book. He was pretty sure this was bestiality on his world and Mama raised a good Christian boy…or at very least he had some morals about him. The other problem was…he would enjoy an actual relationship…what these ponies wanted was…well, it wasn't that.

It was everywhere. At the castle, at his job and currently on the freak'n street. He had several close calls. Ranging from his female boss's borderline sexual harassment to Twilight's breaking and entering of his room one night to the point, to where he had to get someone to magic proof the room just to sleep in peace. He had not faltered though. He had not done a single act of…depravity with any pony.

Finally making it to the castle steps without any further issues. He almost smiled…that's when he spotted the purple furred Alicorn standing at the bottom of the steps her tail slightly wagging as he came close. It was almost adorable seeing her greet him with a wagging tail…if he didn't think her mind was currently thinking of ways to make him sleep with her.

"Hey, Anon." She said cheerfully.

"Hey, Twilight…" Muttering this to her not stopping to greet her as he made his way up the steps of the castle to the door.

"Wait! I just…" She shouted Anon stopping in his tracks as he turned around to her.

"Twilight. I am tired. It's been a long day and whatever it is. I have told you. I am NOT interested." Now scowling down at her.

She looked disheartened hanging her head slightly before shaking it. The expression on her face turned to determination. She flickered her long eyelashes at him slowly walking up to him. A blush appeared upon her face as she got closer.

"Hey Anon, can I ask you something?" Her voice softens into a gentle tone.

He arched an eyebrow at her and narrowed his glare allowing her to finish what she was saying.

"You wanna have a little naughty fun? You know, the naughty sweaty kind of fun? Just the two of us." Asking in a tone that almost sounded like it came out of Rarity's mouth.

He was scowling but, that scowl quickly turned to a smile as his brain processed what he was going to do next……

He didn't know how he had pulled this off. All he had done was told her to wait here in front of the steps and then asked her to step into a small metal tub he had gotten from the castle. Now he was holding a hose, spraying her with water. Written on the side of the metal tub was the words. "Dirty Horse Box." He was proud because he had just soaked a god-like being in this world with water with little to no effort.

He was bursting with pride at this moment as he held a drink of water in his hand. This plan had almost been perfect only…his train of thought was derailed by something. A sound was coming from the princess. She was sniffling and crying. These weren't crocodile tears or anything, he found out the difference between the two in this world. Rarity gave him the waterworks every time he dodged her advances.

This was different. She was actually crying. He knew even on another plane of existence if he allowed her to keep crying his mother would phase into this reality to firmly beat him with a shoe. Turning off the hose. He rushed over to her with a towel in hand rubbing her down.

"NO NO. Stop. I am sorry! I took it too far. It has just been a stressful day!" He said rubbing her down her hair and back wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You hate me…and I am a dirty horse." She cried out still sniffling.

"I…I don't hate you…I just…. I just don't think a relationship should be based on sex." Saying this aloud he felt a cold chill down his spine as if a million other versions of himself across the Multiverse all cried out at once in disdain for his very existence.

"R-really?" Asking as he wiped her cheek with a towel.

"Yes. I don't hate you. Please don't cry." Smiling at her.

"T-then….w-what about a date? Just dinner at the castle…just me and you?" Asking sheepishly not looking him in the eye.

There was a long silence as he looked down at her. He had made her cry, humiliated her in front of the castle. He really felt if he said no he was going to be the biggest dick in the world. A sigh escaped him as he looked down at her.

"A date. ONLY a date." Replying to her softly.

Her eyes lit up as she rose her hooves wrapping them around him in pure delight. Great now his suit was wet. Still, she was kind of cute. Petting the top of her head as he then tried to free himself from her grip.

"Twilight let go….TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT!" Struggling to get her off of him.

This was going to be a very LONG…LONG

EXISTENCE.