"Alright, what are you up to, Discord?" Rarity hissed softly, expression unbelievably incredulous.
"Up? To? I haven't the foggiest idea of what you're implying, Raribear..."
The spirit of chaos held a moderately sized package out to the mare. Said package was covered in a repulsuve hodgepodge of the most heinously ugly wrapping paper to have ever been conceived by equine kind. Rarity momentarily considered setting the hideous frankenstein's present ablaze.
"What is with the package!?"
"Oh well I can't tell you THAT, my little marshmallow. It's a secret Santa Hooves, not a 'tell your friends and neighbors every gritty detail' Santa Hooves...just hand that gift over to Spike and make sure to tell him it was from me~..."
The unicorn glared, suspicion only increasing exponentially. "But why!?
The spirit's eyes narrowed and he snapped his talon, affixing an old timey detective's hat and monocle to the mare. "Mymymy, I feel as though your cutie mark may be incorrect, because right now you're seeming to be more adept at detective work. I'm not giving it to him because I'm not coming!"
The unicorn huffed. "Well I just don't see why you can't give him his present normally, even if you aren't coming to the party. You play that little game with him and Big Macintosh, don't you? I'm sure he wouldn't mind you stopping by his room to drop it off."
She folded her arms and pouted. "You are Spike's secret Santa Hooves, not me! And why aren't you coming? It isn't like you really do anything in particular that could make you miss the party—"
The spirit dramatically slumped and even more dramatically groaned. "Gods, it isn't a damned bomb, Rarity. Just give it to him! For me! Your friend! Isn't that what frieennndssss do? Do things for their friends without asking a bunch of boring, invasive questions? I promise it's not dangerous, and he'll love it!"
Rarity stared for a while, taking in the spirit's words and the somewhat sincere expression on his face.
However, soon enough, she sighed heavily, taking the repulsive present in her levitation aura. "Very well...but if turns out to be some sort of nasty yuletide prank on dear Spikey Wikey, I'll turn you into a throw rug!"
The spirit perked up immediately, tapping his fingers and talons together devilishly. "Oh believe me, he'll simply adore it..."
Spike hummed softly as he made his way to his bedroom, carrying a repulsively garish present along with him.
Tonight had been a Heart's Warming party, attended by friends and family alike. Near the end was the reveal of everyone's respective secret Santas, and Spike had been surprised as he was approached by Rarity, and handed said package.
"Oh, hey Rarity...?" Spike responded upon taking hold of the package. "Uh...wasn't Flutters your Secret Santa...?"
The mare looked bashful. "A-Ah...well, yes darling. But, this isn't from me, it's from Discord. He's your secret Santa."
Spike cocked his head. "Oh, really...? Why didn't he come? Did he have plans?"
Plans that somehow weren't centered around Fluttershy? Doubtful.
"I...don't know, if I'm honest. I agreed to deliver it to you for him, but I'm quite suspicious. If it happens to be a mean prank, make sure to tell me, darling."
The boy chuckled nervously. "O-Oh...? I don't think he'd prank me too badly...if it is a prank, it's probably a soft one, like a confetti cannon or something."
The mare still looked skeptical, before sighing. "If you're positive you want it darling..." She then perked up. "Oh, and he advised me to not let you open it in front of everypony...which made me even more suspicious."
Spike's brow furrowed...before he chuckled. "Heh, maybe he got me something I actually wanted and wants me to squeal about it in private...?"
Rarity huffed. "I'm...not so sure. He's refomed, not tamed, you know? I feel he'll never lose his affinity for being a thorn in one's side..."
Spike sighed and scratched his neck. "I guess..."
In truth, the boy wanted to give the spirit the benefit of the doubt. He really had mellowed out in the past years...and the dragon trusted that his friend wouldn't be as nasty as to completely ruin his mood for kicks on a holiday that wasn't April Foal's.
Even so, he was so incredibly curious. What in the world could it be? Something he wanted? Something Discord assumed he wanted, more than likely.
Nonetheless, as the boy opened the door to his bedroom and then kicked it closed behind him, he resolved to find out.
"Alright Dissy...let's see what sorta gift you conjured in your head to give me..."
He trotted over to his bed and plopped down atop it, sitting on his knees and hovering his hands over the present.
"Ugh...lemme hurry up and unwrap this thing. I get he's chaotic, but it didn't haveta be so ugly..."
His claws quickly eviscerated the thin paper, leaving behind a simple blue box with a note attached to it's top.
Spike hummed and flicked up the folded top half of the note, reading aloud. "'To a dear, wonderful friend Spike, a little dragon who warms the cold, shriveled cockles of my heart. I thought long and hard about this...and decided that the best present I could give you is something hand crafted and personal. Something you'll cherish on a cold winter night, for years to come. Have fun, and a very warm heart. Much Love, Discord.'"
The dragon gave a soft snort. "Pfft...dork..."
He closed the note, before undoing the ribbon that had wrapped the box. Then slowly, he lifted the top and set it to the side. The box was stuffed with multicolored wrapping paper, and Spike stuck a hand into it, feeling for his present.
And as his fingers brushed it, he cocked his head. "...Rubber? No, wait, this is like, silicone...huh...?"
Spike felt the shape out, growing more and more perplexed. His fingers wrapped around the thing, and he squeezed it.
It felt like it was soft on the outside, but quite firm within, and one side of it was covered in weird knubs.
"The hell is this...?"
Curiosity becoming too intense, Spike huffed and fished the thing out, bringing it into full view.
"W-Wh—"
It was...
"H-Haa—"
It was...
"A-AAAAH!"
Spike had to use every bit of restraint within him not to fling his 'present' across the room, and instead dropped it as if it was covered in corrosive acid.
Discord...Discord had given him a cock.
His secret santa gift was a godsdamned sillicone cock.
"What the fuck?" He exclaimed, cheeks beet red and emerald eyes horrified and...curious?
He peaked inside the box fearfully, as if the toy would bite him, and inspected it a bit closer.
It was around 30 centimeters long, and rather girthy, with a thick medial ring and backwards facing nubby scales on it's underside. The entire affair was colored various shades of pink and purple, and the boy couldn't help but subconsciously call it 'pretty'.
But still, why!? For what purpose? Was Discord teasing him? If so, why a dildo, of all the things to utilize?
Spike then flushed so deeply he was practically florescent. "This isn't...his dick, r-right...?"
Couldn't be...Discord wouldn't do something that fucking weird, right...?
The dragon steeled his nerves, before picking the toy up again, looking closer to examine it...
...only for the slit at the tip to spray a sweet smelling powder into his face, causing him to gasp and cough, waving it away to little effect.
The powder soon filled the room with it's potent, heady, sweet scent, and Spike gave a soft sneeze, before glowering at the toy.
"Seriously Discord, what the shit!? Gods, what a prick...on Heartswarming of all days!"
He then noticed another note, sticking slightly out of the wrapping paper. Rolling his eyes, the teen retrieved it, then read it over.
"Dearest Spikey Wikey,
I imagine many questions are flooding through that clever little mind of yours. What does this mean? Why give me this? Who's cock is this a replica of? Why does my room now smell like pheromones and peppermints?
Well, I'll be more than happy to answer your adorable questions. Firstly, I firmly believe that you need a nice little break to unwind. Being the number one asistant to an alicorn princess...it must be sooo taxing! And you've been so dreadfully grumpy these past few weeks, what with the planning and those other boring topics. So grumpy in fact, that I skillfully ascertained that the only way to destress you was to give you a nice, rough, deep fuck.
Spike blinked at the note, gaze dull and ire increasing. "Oh gods, is he fucking serious...!?"
Oh, I'm more than serious, Spikey Wikey. Secondly, I've decided that to undertake this, you'll need a motivator. What just sprayed all over your face was concentrated Poison Joke pollen. Don't worry, you won't get a deep voice, or floppy spines, or anything of that nature. You'll just...find yourself a scooch more inclined to lube that toy with your pretty mouth and work it into that tight little rump—
By now, Spike's face was scarlet, and he cast away the note in mortification, a noise of repulse leaving his throat. Gods, what a creep...
A creep that was completely right, however, as his body already felt warm and flush with a broiling heat. A heat wholly unlike the fire that was entombed within him. No, this was far more...lustful. Far more invigorating and intoxicating and dizzying to experience.
His tongue flicked out to scent the air, and he released a soft, throaty groan.
"D-Dammit..."
It was...indescribable, really. Sweet, yet spicy, yet vaguely bitter, yet sour, yet savory. A myriad of tastes that made the teen writhe a bit, pressing thick thighs together.
Discord was actually going to MAKE him pleasure himself. What a complete prick...
Spike set the box with his 'present' inside of it to the side, before running a hand down his front, over a slightly athletic chest, over his softer and slightly pudgier stomach, and down to his pants which concealed his cloacal slit.
Said slit was moistening, dampening his undergarments and making him squirm, a desire to remove his clothes consuming his body.
Spike's fingers flew to the hem of his shirt, which was pulled off and tossed away, followed swiftly by his pants, and then his underwear.
His lips pursed, and he gently cupped his cloaca, before beginning to play with it as one would a pussy. Running fingers along its lightly scaled, slightly plump lips, which were flushed with blood and warmth and gently pulsing to reveal delicate rosy flesh within. The boy moaned and his head rolled back, basking in the pleasurable sensation.
Slowly, Spike's cock began to crown, peaking out of hiding, it's rosy, tapered tip already lightly oozing precum. "F-Fuck..." He breathed softly, wings lightly flaring as his palm caressed the slowly emerging head, coating itself in sweetened slick and sending delicious aftershocks of pleasure running up his spine.
Soon enough, it was fully extended. Twenty-two delicious centimeters of draconic cock, and decently thick at that. A respectable size for one of his stature, but certainly smaller than the average stallion's length and girth. It's pink flesh was accented by a hardened, purplish ridge, as well as soft, squishy, backwards facing emerald 'scales' on it's underside. Usually for breeding competition, to clean out an opponent's cum and make room for one's own seed.
His hand wrapped around his cock and he gave a full body shudder and whimpered, tongue flicking out once more.
The boy began to pump his closed fist around it, and mewling in pure delight as ecstasy filled him. "Fuck~!"
It was rather amazing, honestly. Had the spirit not considered that Spike could merely jerk off without playing into his stupid, perverse little scheme?
Apparently not.
Spike began to hump his fist, cock pulsing and twitching in his grasp while droplets of glistening slick dripped from it's tip. "Y-Yes~..."
It didn't take long at all before he was arching his back and crying out, thighs trembling and his abdomen broiling with pleasure.
"Fuck...f-fuuuck~! A-AAAH~!"
Spike came with a scream of pleasure, tears pricking his eyes a tad as ribbons of white cascaded over his chest.
He rode himself out, still squeezing his length as it spurted and then lightly twitched as he fell into an afterglow...
"H-Heh...suck it...don't need your fake c-cock...to c-cum..."
However, the teen couldn't be more wrong.
As seconds ticked off into minutes, the boy's shaft still wouldn't soften and recede, and he felt the burn of arousal flare once more. "H-Huh...? H-How? I-I just..."
Did this stupid aphrodisiac pollen actually prevent him from calming down!?
"Oh, you fucking prick—" Spike snarled, before standing to his feet. "I'm gonna have to do this until I'm satisfied, huh? Whatever. Still don't need your toy...not giving you the satisfaction..."
Spike looked around the room, huffing stubbornly as his tail thrashed the air a bit, before taking hold of his cock once more. Plenty of things were available to get him off besides Discord's dumb prank. He refused to give in.
"G-GOOODS~! FUUUCK~!"
Spike screamed out as he humped his pillows, cock pistoning in and out of the silken, supple crevice they created when pressed together, thighs shuddering from exertion as he thrusted between them and dirtied them with pre.
Six. The boy had cum SIX times, to no avail. His cock would not shrink, and his arousal would not wane. No matter what, through everything he did to himself. Fingering, stroking his cock, even shoving his tail inside himself didn't work. Tears pricked his eyes and he sobbed from stimulation, frustration, and pleasure alike, hating and loving this sensation all at once.
With another scream, he came, before flopping forward and whimpering.
"N-No more...p-please, gods...just let it e-end..." He begged.
Was that toy truly the only cure for this stupid pollen!?
The boy shakily extracted himself from his masturbatory tool, and crept to the edge of the bed, grabbing the note and managing to read it through bleary, unfocused eyes.
See, I knew you were going to react like that. Silly boy. I may enjoy April Foal's Day, but I'm certainly no foal myself, Spike. Did you truly think I didn't anticipate attempts at circumventing my little pollen mixture? No no no. No matter what you try, you will NEVER be fully satisfied until you do as this note instructs.
1. The toy has a suction cup on it's end. Affix it to a flat surface. And make sure whatever it is is sturdy and heavy. You'll be getting a workout~
2. There's lube in the box. I think you know where this is going.
3. Take things slowly. It's quite a bit thicker than that tail and those dainty little fingers of yours. This is supposed to relax you, not rip you open, you adorable, silly little virgin.
4. ????
5. Profit!
Spike looked similar to a sunripened tomato, and hissed. "I! But! T-That's so...embarrassing!"
As I already stated, this is the only way out of my little relaxation trap. Otherwise, you'll keep stroking your cock and playing with that cute tailhole until you've either passed out or are driven mad...or I cancel it out. And let's be honest with ourselves, Spikey Wikey...we both know I'm not going to be doing that.
Happy trails, my dearest. Do tell me how it felt later, hm?
Spike stared at the note for the longest time, before crumpling it up and growling. However, his throbbing cock calmed him down, funnily enough. And after committing 'punching Discord in his smug prick face' to his mental to-do list, the boy grabbed the toy box and scuttled towards a smooth crystal wall.
"Nothin' sturdier in here, I guess..."
Spike huffed, aligning the toy with the wall and pouting gently.
He had to put it at the right height, to effortlessly bounce back on it...and perhaps take an occasional break...?
"Gods, am I seriously fucking doing this...?"
Yes. Yes he was.
He stuck the toy onto the wall, the powerful suction cup keeping it in place. Spike tapped it a few times, and was satisfied that it didn't fall or pop off.
"Now...the l-lube..." Spike muttered softly, reaching in the box and indeed wrapping a hand around a tube of lube.
He held it up to his eyes to look at it properly.
It was silicone based, and apparently cherry flavored. Spike rolled his eyes a bit, before popping the cap up and squirting the fruity smelling lubricant onto his hand, then applying it to the toy.
His hands jerked the toy up and down, back and forth, similar to—
Fuck, that's probably exactly what Discord had wanted him to simulate.
"Dammit...this is total horseapples..."
He recapped the lube and tossed it away, wiped his hand on his thigh, then stared at the toy.
That was going in his ass. That was going in him. His first time having a phallic object in him, and it was replica of Discord's dick.
"Okay...just take it slow...you're already loose. If it's supposed to cure this stupid sickness he gave me, it's worth it..."
And with that he turned around and raised his ass up in the air. A rather tantalizing show, if someone happened to be watching...plump cheeks, a puckered tailhole, and a hard cock between chubbed thighs.
Spike took in another breath, then backed himself up.
It took a bit of maneuvering, but eventually, the slanted tip of that toy cock pressed against his cute pucker, and Spike felt pressure...
Then, it slipped in, and instantly all felt right with the world.
"Ooooooh fuuuuuuck..." The dragon managed to slur out, tongue briefly prodding past his lips.
The cock within him...for some reason it felt real. As if it was actually a warm, throbbing length, dripping with pre and ready to pound him.
It just felt so fucking good in him...
"Fuck...y-yes..." He purred, before arching his back and proceeding to bounce himself. The cock was pulled out, before being socked deep into him, pounding against his prostate and making his toes curl.
Oh fuck yes. He needed this. Spike needed this shit so fucking bad.
He worked his hips and flexed his lower abdominals, getting quite the workout as he fucked himself on the false shaft.
All the while, the toy seemed to be dribbling something into him...something smooth and silky feeling, that began calming that raging, lustful heat within him.
Spike mewled in pure ecstasy, before letting his emerald eyes roll up as slutty moans and pleas poured from his lips.
"Oh please...oh please oh please oh please...f-fuck, so fucking good. N-Need...Need you so much...need your big c-cock so m-much~!"
He could almost imagine hands on his hips, dragging him back on every thrust as his prostate was struck over and over and over again.
Spike was losing his mind from ecstasy, but that wretched pollen heat was
slowly but surely dissipating away, so that was good.
"Fuck me~! Yes! Yes~! O-Oh gods, D-Dissy~!"
Spike's eyes went wide as that left his mouth. Holy shit, he really just called out the spirit's name while fucking himself on a replica of his cock...
A drunken sounding giggle left his lips. Hey, if Discord was watching, maybe he'd at least fluster the draconequus a bit. Hopefully, anyways. Discord was probably jerking off to it, the freak...
"O-Oh gooods, y-yeees~! S-So fucking b-biiig~! D-Dissy! L-Love your cock so damn m-much...want you to fill me u-up~!"
He bucked his hips faster and faster, panting and moaning between hip thrusts.
"W-Want— HAH...you...so fucking bad baby...mm, yeah, s-stuff my lil' h-HOLE~! Oh g-gooods, breed my ass Dissy, FUCK~!"
He rode out a few more times, that pseudo cock pulsing more and more, spilling an abundance of precious ointment within his tight tailhole, until he simply couldn't hold back anymore.
"YEEEESSS~!"
A meager amount of seed spurted from his cock, but this did no justice to the mindnumbing orgasm that had ensued.
His body was wracked with full body shudders, while his legs scrambled to find their bearings through the delectable torment, and his arms beat against the floor as he came all over that fake dick.
His vision swam, his consciousness lagged, and steam trailed from his nostrils...then finally, he went still, still shuddering.
The toy dumped off its final load of thick, creamy ointment to treat the pollen, and Spike groaned softly in triumph as his cock mercifully went flaccid.
Spike sagged forward, the dildo popping out and the dragon sliding down onto the floor, panting and twitching.
The heat was gone, and now his muscles felt ridiculously supple and tender. It was like he'd gone in for a spa treatment, and received a full body massage...he'd never felt this calm and at peace. He supposed Discord was right...a nice rough fuck truly did relax him.
Spike let out a soft moan and a giggle, tailhole winking out the light pinkish substance as he basked in the heady afterglow.
Perhaps he'd hold off on punching the spirit...for now, anyways...
Author's Note
Now you might be asking "Hey Wow_Gay, this is a Heartswarming fic! Why's it being uploaded in April?"
Well...y'see....uh...
*runs away*