Lyra Heartstrings happily galloped home from the market. Her mint and vanilla-colored tail bounced in place with excitement from every step. A bulging saddlebag was slung over her backside, the mare in quite a hurry to get home for some reason.
With dozens of ponies minding their own business on the crowded cobblestone streets. Not a soul noticed the minty unicorn slip into her home, not entering the front door like expected.
Neigh, she vanished swiftly into the wooden cellar found on the side.
Faded into obscurity within utter darkness.
Out of sight and out of mind.
Deep below within the bowels of her large wooden home. Lyra entered her cellar with a smile full of warmth and joyous aptitude. The room was like any other cellar to be honest overflowing with junk, knickknacks, and other miscellaneous objects.
The only difference in design was a hidden little hatch in the right corner. Lyra's pastel green magic twisted the metal knob roughly, the hatch popping open in a cloud of dust and flakes of copper rust.
The catacombs were below, she dug it herself.
Her babies must be beyond frightened about her whereabouts. She had been gone for most of the morning and some of the previous night. To be honest, Lyra might have also forgotten to feed them as well.
Hopping deep into the empty void with a squee, Lyra braced herself to visit her lovely pets.
“I bought your favorite food cutie! Pony Puffs, now with all marshmallows!!” Lyra giggled pouring an oversized pink bowl with colorful marshmallow sweetness.
“I need meat, I'm so starved!” The sunken husk of a filthy human weakly cowered in the corner of his large metal cage.
“Brother Pony, I told you that meat is yuck! Try these marshmallows they're yum, I promise!” The unicorn dumped a glass of murky water into the cereal, sliding the food through a tiny opening on the cage.
“I'm going to die!” The male screamed in terror both hands grasping the bars, using the last ounce of his strength to rock the cage back and forth.
Lyra hated when her pets acted naughtily. She needed to calm them down with a nice gentle massage, one administered with a device known as a Cuddle Prod. Floating up the metallic stick in her magic, she jabbed her pet under his ribs firmly.
A glow of pale blue electricity sent her pet flying back against the metal bars in pure relaxation. His body convulsing with the cozy feeling of cuddles, flopping on the floor much like a playful fish out of water.
“Now eat.” Lyra giggled sliding up onto her large brown Lazy Mare recliner.
“Tell my family, I loved them!” Brother Pony gasped for air on the ground, shivering cold wearing nothing but tattered clothes.
“Eat!” Lyra lifted the Cuddle Prod high into the air above her.
“Om-nom-nom!!” The human gorged himself on overly sweet nourishment in fear, tears rolling down both cheeks as he sobbed.
“Mmm, yes.” Lyra watched him take large handfuls of food in satisfaction.
“Now use your lower hands…” Lyra scrunched her muzzle cutely towards her pet.
“I only have one pair of…” He stammered in fear.
“Lower hands!!” Lyra cuddled the side of the cage, sparks flying high into the dull dark room.
Brother Pony wept in utter despair of his current situation. Plunging both darkened feet into his food bowl. Lyra folded her ears back excitedly, tail swishing side to side in pure delight.
“Mommy is proud of you!” She plunged the Cuddle Prod into the cage, jabbing the pet hard on his neck.
As if to say thank you, he flopped over on his side in pleasure. He was so cute when being playful, yet she didn't have time for belly rubs.
Sister Pegasus needed love too.
Lyra stretched out cutely on her recliner. Eyes sparkled brightly in the dim light of her living room, the large orange glow of her fireplace proudly glowed in the darkroom.
“Hello, I'm Lyra Heartstrings!
What you've just read is merely a dramatization of the pure fear, horror, and discomfort that is associated with the improper use of equine affection.
Remember, when searching out a pony to snuggle, cuddle, or simply belly rub. Make sure to ask if your pony companion is comfortable with it, because we all know an unauthorized snoot boop is paramount to assault.
So the next time you're stuffing a pony into a box.
Ask yourself this…
What if it was me!?
Thank you, this has been a message from…
The Society Against Unjustified Equine Affection.”
Lyra giggled with a playful flaunt of the hoof.
“Help, I have a family!!” A masculine voice rang out from the distance.
“Shush, Mommy’s talking!!” Lyra snapped back downstairs in reply.
“How is my favorite girl!?” Lyra happily cantered into the second room of her secret catacombs.
A malnourished young blonde woman sat in the moist mud of the claustrophobic room. She wore an extra tight leather collar around her neck, a massive silver chain bolted to the wall behind her.
“I'll see you in…” Lyra used her magic and yanked the chain towards herself extra firmly, the young woman yelping in pain as she fell forward into the mud with a splat.
“I just fed your brother!” Lyra roughly booped the woman on the nose, in fact, it was more like a punch.
Sister Pegasus held to her face in pain as she collapsed onto her side.
“What do you want from me!?” The woman groaned in pain, Lyra using her hooves to nearly scritch the flesh off the woman's ears.
“I want to see you in a box!” Lyra cooed as her pet winced in horror, crimson gently trickled down both sides of her head.
Pegasus Sister shivered in fright. A dingy old box ten times too small for her body awaited in the dreary corner to the left.”I don't fit in the darn box!” The woman hissed in anger towards the demented equine.
“Not with that attitude!” Lyra giggled with a squee, her magic levitated a pair of striped pink stockings up in front of her muzzle.
“I won't go into the box again!!” The woman suddenly lunged forward tackling the mare to the ground in a cloud of dust.
“Bad, no!” Lyra struggled in a panic as her pet easily pinned her down.
Lyra needed to think fast. This hoo-man was deprived and desperate, capable of anything in her current state of mind. Lifting up a snugglecation plastic bag hidden in the darkness with her magic, she barely had time to fling it over the Pet's head.
Pegasus Sister was too busy punching her tormentor, to notice anything amiss. “Mmphhh!” She gasped in shock being snugglecated, Lyra tightening the plastic baggie around her face.
Her pet struggled to claw off the object, Lyra's magic preventing any feeble attempt at freedom.
“Shhhh. Shhh…” Lyra stood up to give her coat a shake frazzled.
“Mmphhh! Mmphhh!!” Pegasus Sister fell to her knees weakly.
“It's ok, I'm here.” Lyra wrapped both hooves around her pet, cuddling the poor frightened creature tenderly.
“Oomph!” The pet collapsed into the mud and passed out.
Lyra giggled as she removed the Snugglecation device off the woman's face. Her pet was adorable when in a deep slumber. Gently sliding the stockings onto Sister's legs, Lyra used her magic to position the hoo-man inside the box haphazardly.
“Squee!!” Lyra took a mental snapshot of this moment.
A memory to cherish forever.
