Chapter 1) I'm alone, but that's okay.

I hit the ground hard, rolled for a few feet, and then eventually slid to stop.

After the impact, I picked myself off the ground. Looking around, I was amazed by what I saw. I was in a large forest with beautiful grass carpeting the ground. This isn’t what amazed me, though. The colors, the textures, everything seemed brighter than anything I’d seen in my world. And then I knew this wasn’t my world. Whatever I had stepped through had deposited me somewhere Else. Not light-years away, but something entirely Outside my universe. It had to be. I wondered to myself why I was so surprised, after all I knew what was likely to happen when I jumped in like the fool that I was.

Not even a half hour ago, perhaps, I was walking the streets of New York, coming back from a concert and trying to make my way to Penn Station. I preferred walking to being in the tight subway, and an hour walk was nothing to me. Thinking myself alone I was singing a song under my breath from the concert: “I’m battle dancing unicorns, with glitter.” Smiling and in a good mood, I was caught off guard when someone bumped my left shoulder hard from behind. I started and saw a hooded figure in purple running past me and turn suddenly down an alley to my right. A girl, I thought, glancing at her figure and the practically sparkling purple and black she was wearing. Something about her run seemed off, but as I saw her for only a few seconds I couldn’t figure out what it was. I looked behind, thinking she was running away from something, but there was no one there. I wondered if she needed help, so I ran after her but after a few yards of running I stopped in shock.

There was a glow coming from down the alley and then a bright flash, and a circle of glowing light appeared on one of the walls. I wasn’t sure where the flash came from, it might have come from the girl. I saw her run inside, her hood flying off and I glimpsed for an instant that she had purple skin – at least I thought it was skin – and then she was gone.

In the span of milliseconds, I had a choice to make. No time to sit and contemplate the maybes. This was clearly a door to someplace else. Maybe somewhere on earth, maybe far away. Another planet? Was there a way to get back? Did I have something I cared too much to leave? Not really, I guess. Best not to think about it. This was some vast adventure yawning open before me. Screw the maybes, the unknown and the new were a definite. I didn’t really fear dying, and what a way to go if I did die! I ran to the glowing light and jumped inside.

I don’t know what I expected but suddenly finding myself going from sideways to straight down was not it. I tumbled in what might have been air, swirling patterns of insanity spinning past me. After righting myself, maybe, and facing what I think was straight down, I saw the girl falling far, far below me and slightly to my left. I began to see a constant in the madness beneath me and saw a glowing circle opening up beneath the girl. Just before she disappeared through I thought, those are some odd shoes, but she was gone before I could see anything definite. I tried to stupidly “swim” towards her portal but there was no way I was reaching it.

As I fell past it, tumbling end over end, i saw my cell phone floating past my face. Panicking, I swung my arm at it, but it swept past my fingers and went "above" my head. I was dumbly looking back “up” at it when I was blinded by a light coming from the corner of my eye. I turned back round to see a portal right in my face, and I fell through it.

Well, fell is not the right word. After falling, I suddenly found myself horizontal again. So I “fell” sideways out of it and then immediately smashed downward at an angle. Oh God! All the wind was knocked out of me and I took a few minutes to get my breath back, as well as check that nothing was broken.

Nope all good, except that whole “Where the crap am I?” problem.

And so here I was. Another world. In a forest. No other person around. No idea where to go. No food on me. Alone.

Great, way to go, Brendon. Wonderful new adventure and you might die before meeting anyone. Genius.

Well, the sun looked like it was setting right in front of me, so that must be west. “Only if the points on a compass are the same here as anywhere else,” I said to myself. “Ohhhhhh boy, don’t think too much about it. So…let’s head north.” I turned and pointed with both hands. “That way.”

As I walked I took in a deep breath and noticed how fresh the air was here. It filled me up in a way I hadn’t felt before. I felt the urge to walk faster, take longer strides, take things head on. I looked at distant mountains and thought how fun it would be to climb them. I saw glimpses of open grass and thought of tearing across it, laughing like a child. It was odd. I even felt some kind of tingling in the back of my brain, like when I’ve had a moment of great realization come upon me, but I thought nothing except how beautiful an evening it was and the wonder of the forest I walked through. The flowers, the leaves, the mushrooms, the rocks: they all stood out and nearly dazzled me with their, I don’t know, how alive everything was. I saw squirrels and rabbits scampering between tree trunks and birds fluttering low around the trees and bushes. I never remember hearing so much chattering, singing, or see animals ever get so close to a human before. And from the way they looked at me, I could swear there was some greater understanding in their faces. Like they even had expressions as they looked at me and even might have thoughts about me. “I wonder if you can speak, little ones?” I said. But I kept on going.

The logical part of my brain began to remind me that since these were familiar animals, there might be bears around, or other dangerous inhabitants, and that I shouldn’t surprise them. Let them know someone is coming by making noise, right? Isn’t that what you do? So I kept on talking to myself. “Well, you’ve gotten yourself in worse places than this, haven’t you? I mean, there’s got to be a way to get back, and in the meantime you’ve got a beautiful place to explore! It’s like some kind of gift! Right? Yeah. Sure. You’ll be alright.”

I tried to make small talk to myself, keep me off the thought of being completely alone. I talked about the weather, what kinds of trees these might be, how many animals I saw, whether or not there might be humans here, where I was going to sleep, how beautiful the colors of the sunset were – “Shenanigans! That’s not sunset, that’s sundown!” I then cupped my hands around my mouth and made a fake radio voice. “Sun down! Sun down! Repeat, we have a sun down over here!” Officer down! Officer down! Then I laughed hard at my stupid joke, and then giggled at how stupid I was for laughing at it. I paused at this. “Great, that tells me how scared I am that I’m laughing at something this dumb. Heh, sun down – no! Shut up! This is serious.

“Okay! No need to panic! Just because the night’s about to hit doesn’t mean all the wild crazy animals are going to come out and kill me and eat me. Or eat me then kill me. Oh poop. Heh, yeah, poop me out. God, I just laughed at being digested. Shut up! Need to find some kind of shelter or at least a place to lie down that’s not way out in the open.”

I glanced around quickly before the light faded away. I saw a glint of something to my right, about maybe fifty yards behind some trees. I ran over, not even noticing that I was running full tilt. After dodging trees, I found it was a small pond. Maybe ten yards across, though I'm a terrible judge of measured distance.

No real shelter nearby. No cave or hole or candy cottage with a witch inside, ready to wat me piece by piece.

“I’m telling you, imagination, just shut up! I gotta think!”

I shut my eyes, straightened up, and took a deep breath in, held it, and let it out slowly. Then I did it again. Slowly I opened my eyes.

“Okay. Cool as a cucumber. Two choices: keep looking for shelter or work with what we’ve got. What have we got? A source of water and I ate a big dinner, so we just need a place to sleep. What’s around the pond? Trees. Great. Oh joy.”

But then I noticed that three trees on one side grew so close together that the formed an almost crescent moon shape. In between looked like moss, so I went over and tried it. Cramped but soft. I could curl up with my knees to me chest and probably sleep okay. The leaves were so dense above me that it should keep off any rain. It was just then that the sun finished setting and almost all the light was gone. Nothing remained but sporadic spots of moonlight and starlight filtering down where the leaves didn’t blot out the sky.

It was probably my rising anxiety, but I felt like the silence suddenly got real loud. Only my breathing and the beating of my heart seemed to make noise. A little wind in the leaves. The sounds of what I guess were crickets or some night insects.

Given the way these animals seem to look, it’s probably playing a violin to make the noise, rather than rubbing its legs.

My eyes scanned the night, looking and fearing that eyes would look back at me. And the realization came back upon me just how alone I was.

“Alone. Just you and me, Brendon. That’s it.”

After each moment kept growing worse and worse, I decided to do what I usually do when I was alone. I started to sing.

“Like the pine trees lining the winding road

I’ve got a name. I’ve got a name.

Like the singing bird and the croaking toad

I’ve got a name. I’ve got a name…”

I kept going with one of Jim Croce’s finest. I was just finishing the third verse:

“- I’ve got a dream. I’ve got a dream.

I know I could share it if you want me to.

If you’re going my way, I’ll go with – “

A sudden noise stopped me dead. It was the sound of something moving in the bushes across the pond. I turned my head – not quite fast enough - and just saw something duck behind a bush extremely quickly, I only caught the very top of a head going down. As I looked hard at the bush, I swear I heard a tiny whimper coming from it. I stood up slowly, debating if I should go over. You don’t know if it might be dangerous, or even bigger than me. I was just about to screw up the courage to walk over when I heard a loud growl that seemed to come from all around. I scanned the area in a panic and saw what I could only call an immense shadow that suddenly filled up nearly my whole vision. Something Huge had stepped in front of me, and all I could see was nothing. I felt a huge breath all over me, and I smelled wild animal all around me. Being around a lot of animals in my life told me the smell of animal. Whatever it is, it was hairy.

“Well, I’m dead,” I said. Then I put one foot behind me, placed one fist on my chest and the other before me, and took a stance. “Might as well go down fighting.” Wish I was as brave as I sound. And that my voice wasn’t cracking. I dripped sweat and fear and waited for the painful and squishy end.

Suddenly I heard a huge rustle of leaves and twigs and what might have been the sound of beating wings. I felt a rush of air as the Thing swung around to see what was behind it. An enormous tail flew over my head. Holy crap, that’s a huge scorpion stinger! I heard a roar from the Thing, and then it cut off and I heard what I could only call a big doggie whine. There was a soft voice I couldn’t quite hear past the pounding of my heartbeat. Then the big whine came again and, to my shock and joy, the Thing stomped off, taking its huge tail with it. I watched, mouth open, hands hanging loose, as it left, leaving the darkened pool and shadowed forest before me. I stepped out to see if I could see what it was, but all I could see was a wide path of destruction going deep into the woods. I looked down and saw big footprints. That looks like a cat’s. What?! Scorpion plus - lion maybe? – equals…a manticore? Where the hell am I?

As I wondered what kind of fantasy world I had found myself, I turned back to thank whatever had saved my life. I saw the moonlight reflecting off the pond, sending sparkles of light dancing on the water. A figure stood in the shadows just outside the moonlight – right next to a rather familiar bush!

Right, start with the thank you, not the accusations. I was about to say something when the figure spoke in a soft, gentle – and clearly female - tone.

“Umm...Excuse me, but are – are you alright?”

Well, at least it’s intelligent.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you so much for whatever it was you did back there! I figured I was about to be eaten.” Then killed – shut up, brain!

“Oh. I’m so glad. I’m…I’m sorry I was spying on you. I heard someone talking and tried to follow where it was coming from. Then I heard you singing and I got closer to see who it was.”

Be polite. “So that was you in the bush. No, don’t worry about it, I’d be curious too.” Probably. “I’m just glad it wasn’t a wild animal. You see, I’m really really lost.”

The figure held a hand up to her mouth and giggled very softly. “Yes, I thought so. Almost no one goes into the Everfree Forest at night. Most find it rather dangerous.”

“But not you?”

“Well, I have a way with animals. Like that manticore back there.” She pointed back down the beaten path behind me.

“You mean that thing just…listened to you? You had it backing off like a kitten! You’re amazing!”

The figured turned her head away, her hand at her face. I think she was actually…embarrassed? “Oh, I’m nopony special. But thank you for saying so.”

“Are you kidding? If I was wearing a full suit of armor and a sword, I’d never have done what you just did! And we don’t even have manticores where I’m from. They’re just stories.” Wait, what did she just say? No pony?

“Oh yes, they’re very real. How far away do you live?”

Get it out now, no need to lie. You can’t hide it. And you’re probably ridiculously odd looking here. More so than usual.

Stop it, you know you’re not bad looking.

“Well, that’s kind of hard to say. You see, I think I’m from another world.”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“I mean I came through a glowing portal...thingy…and now I’m here and I know this is not my world. The manticore is a huge giveaway if nothing else.”

“Oh.” There was a long pause as she took that in. “I think a friend of mine told me about something like that.” Then she stood up straight and shook her head as if to clear it. "Well, then if you aren't from around here, let me be the first to -to welcome you to Equestria!” She then immediately cringed a little as if she had said too much. “Was - was that alright? I wanted to give you a proper greeting.” I felt certain that if she was smiling, it was an embarrassed grimace.

Don’t laugh. “Y-yes, that was great!” I said putting both hands before me like I was trying to calm her down. “You don’t have to be so shy.”

“What?”

“Shy.”

“How’d you know that?”

“What?”

“My name. It’s Fluttershy.”

Oh my God that’s cute. Like some little stuffed animal I’d never hug in public.

“Oh. No. That’s not what I meant.” Awkward. Move past it. Quickly. “My name is Brendon.”

“Really? I thought that was the person you were talking to. I wondered where he was.”

“Oh, I was just talking to myself. I do that when I’m alone sometimes.” I scratched the back of my head and glanced away. “I’m used to being alone a lot. It’s…also one reason why I sing. That, and I love singing.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Brendon. You, um...you…(mumble mumble).”

“What?”

“You…(mumble mumble mumble).”

“I’m sorry, I really can’t hear you.”

“You have a very nice voice!” She immediately brought both hands to her mouth as if she had said too much.

“Well…th-thank you. I’m glad you liked it.”

“I’ve never heard anything like it before. Did you write it?”

“No, the man who wrote it died long before I was born. Come to think of it, maybe half the songs I like were written before I was born.”

“The…mon? What’s that?”

“What, you mean man? The man? His name was Jim Croce.”

“No, what is a man?”

“That’s what I am. I’m a man.”

“Oh. I’m a pony.”

“I know that I heard you wrong. Say that again?”

“I’m a pony. I’m from Ponyville, a little northwest of here.”

Say. Nothing. This is normal for her. Don’t you dare laugh all over this. It’s another world. And how is a pony walking on two legs? One thing at a time.

“Oh. I forgot for a moment that we were two completely different creatures.” I looked down and noticed that she probably couldn’t see me as I was outside the moonlight as well. “Look, I’m going to come into the light but please don’t be frightened. I’m sure I look freakish in comparison to you, so I’d rather not shock you by accident. Okay?”

There was a very brief, yet seemingly very long, silence. Don’t run away. Please. You seem nice. I don’t want the silence again.

“O-okay. I’m…I’m…ready.” Her voice was going to a whimper. “Go ahead, Br-Brandon?”

“Heh, no, it’s Brendon. But that’s okay, half the people mispronounce my name back home too. Alright I’m gonna do this slow.” Deep breath. “Here I go.”

I don’t know if I ever felt so solemn as when I took the next few steps forward. I wondered what I looked like to her, walking into the light. Seeing my dark blue jeans, my brown button down shirt, my short reddish hair, my glasses, and what I hoped was a warm smile. I held my arms out before me like I was just walking out on a balcony. Friends, Romans, countrymen, put down your stupid arms! I awkwardly put down my arms and just stood there, hands in my pockets.

I heard a sharp intake of breath and I saw the shadowy figure put her hand to her chest. God I must be ugly. Great. Nothing to be done about it. I tried to keep my smile despite my disappointment.

Finally, she spoke. “Ohhhh my. You are a bit different, but…maybe not as much as you think.” At this she walked to the edge of the water, into the soft moonlight. Fluttershy wasn’t lying about being a pony. She clearly had some kind of hooves for feet and her face was slightly equine in nature. But the expression on it was easy to read, oddly human in its smile. Much shorter nose from a horse, though, and those eyes! So blue. Her skin, if it was skin, was all bright yellow. Her hair, or mane I guess, was bright pink, and I could clearly see a long tail of the same color swishing around her legs. She wore a white, sleeveless shirt with a light brown jacket over it. Looked leather, perhaps. Below she wore a dark green skirt to below her knees on which she had a pattern of three pink butterflies. There was a swish of something yellow just over her shoulders which I took for some kind of cape or hood, maybe. She was…well nothing was what I expected, but she was not at all terrible to look at. Her figure was definitely femine, by a human standard. At the time I was more bewildered by the strangeness of it all to properly look her over.

I realized I was holding my breath and staring at her. Her eyes were also roaming all over the new person before her, or at least I assumed so, for she hid half of her face behind her hair/mane. I wasn’t sure what I read in her expression, but I figured I better say something.

“Wow. I mean. Uh. It’s very nice to meet you, Fluttershy. I guess you’re right, we aren’t too different. I mean, I’m glad there’s even someone with two arms and two legs. I had no idea what I’d meet over here.”

She smiled a bit, but then she fully faced me, and I noticed her eyes kept squinting at me as if looking for something. She tilted her head and then took a step towards me. I was about to say, “Hey! You don’t have to do that!” as I thought she was going to wade right through the water, but then I got another shock. What I took for a cape before unfolded into wings and she lifted off the ground, beat her wings a little, and gently flew across the water before alighting beside me. What I was going to say turned into a drawn out, “Heeeeeeeeey…” as my eyes got as big as saucers. I must’ve stared with my mouth hanging open as I just followed her flight with my eyes.

I took my hand and shut my mouth. Say something. “You-you have wings!” Great job, captain obvious.

She closed her eyes and smiled broadly, a little blush in her cheeks. “Heh, yes I do. I, umm, I guess I should tell you about ponies, since you’re so new here. There are really three types of ponies in our world. Earth ponies: who walk along the earth, unicorns: who have horns on their heads that they use to do magic, and pegasi, like me.” At this she gave her wings a little flap. “Was…was that alright?”

“Wow, yes, thank you. We…don’t have anything like that in my world. Every person is pretty much the same. At least in how their bodies are built. And we don’t have any…wait, did you say magic?”

“Oh yes, but I couldn’t tell you much about it. My friend, Twilight Sparkle, could tell you everything you would want to know about magic. She’s a unicorn and she’s really good at magic. She’s the one who mentioned portals to me before.”

“Twilight. Sparkle. Right. Is she purple? Because if she is, I followed her into this world. Equestria you said?”

“Yes that’s right, and she is purple. I didn’t think she was actually going to make one again, though. Princess Celestia told her it could be dangerous the next time she used a portal.”

They have royalty?

“Ah, well hopefully she can find a way to get me home. But – what? What is it?”

Fluttershy had stopped smiling, but her eyes kept inspecting me. Then I finally realized what expression it was that I saw on her face: fascinated curiosity. There was a fire full of questions burning in her; a hunger that told me she wanted to know more. I felt like she was going to start walking around me, when suddenly she leaned forward, practically exploding with energy as she spoke quickly.

“You’re called a man?”

“Well the males are, I’m a human being.”

“Wow, and you have such a short mane.”

“A what?”

She walked briskly up and put both hands in my hair, as if inspecting me. She had to reach up as she was about 3 or 4 inches shorter than my six foot height. I grimaced and just let her do what she wanted. It was like being looked over by a very large child. “Your mane. It’s not long at all. And you don’t have any fur underneath.” Here she grabbed my hand in both of hers, inspecting it closely. I instantly understood what she meant as I felt a thin but very soft fur on her hands. She kept talking the whole time. “You still have fingernails, but no hair at all! Do you have any more anywhere else?”

“Well, I tend to grow hair around the bottom half of my face.” Here I wiped my face with my hand to demonstrate. “And…I also have some hair – I mean not like you – on my chest and going down past my belly button.”

“Oh, you have a belly button too? So your babies are born live?”

“Yes, we’re mammals like you, at least that’s the word we use. We give birth to live young and the woman – sorry, female, or mare I guess – feeds them with milk.”

“Oh, we do that too!” Here she casually pointed to her chest, which surprisingly stopped all my other thinking.

They have boobs?!…right, stop right there, brain! No, the other brain!

“But," Fluttershy continued, "You have no tails? And, are you wearing something on your hooves?”

“Oh, we don’t have hooves, we have feet.” Here I sat down on the ground and she sat with me, obviously fascinated and smiling, like she was on the edge of her seat. She must really like new animals, I guess. I bet she just lights up at a zoo. I took off one of my shoes and then pulled off a sock. She gasped at the look of my foot with my five toes wiggling in the moonlight. Then she reached out and inspected my foot more closely. I blushed and wanted to apologize about the smell, but she just stared and moved my foot this way and that to get a look all around it. I tried to hold myself up with my arms, but she kept jerking my whole body into weird positions and at unexpected moments. She placed my foot down on her palm as though I was standing on it.

“Five toes instead of hooves. That must be how you balance. They don’t grasp things like a monkey would, I guess.” I tried to shake my head, but she wasn’t even looking at my face anymore. She hiked up my pant leg a little. “Oh! And you have more hair up here! But it’s shorter and less clumped together.”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot that, I also have it on my arms too. Not much to see really – erk!” I felt her hands quickly going north up my leg.

“Does that mean that you have hair going up to your –“ she quickly quieted when she reached too high. Her eyes had following her hands g up my leg, not even focussing on where it led. I gently caught her wrist - but too late! She had gotten to my crotch, and she stopped as her hand touched something...distinct. She gave a little feel with her hand, and judging by her expression she was more surprised than I. At that point I gently caught her wrist. Still in a kind of shock, she looked at her hand, then my hand, and then right into my face leaning towards her. Face to face she looked at me with a kind of slow realization, then moved her eyes south for just a moment. I had no way of knowing if she could see my rapidly rising erection. Fully seeing what she had done, she flung herself away from me as I fell backwards onto my elbows. She brought a hand up to her mouth in embarrassed horror, and looked at me. I don’t know what I looked like, having broken out in a cold sweat and trying to smile at her reassuringly, which wasn’t working. Still sitting, she quickly turned her back to me and covered her face with her hands.

“Oooooh no. I’m sooo sorry.” It sounded like she was dying of embarrassment and guilt. I could swear I heard a sob in her voice, but I couldn’t be sure. Her voice was so low I had to strain my hearing and slow my breathing just to understand her. “Ohhhh, I'm not usually like this. Oh, I messed this all up. I-I-I kept thinking of you as an animal and trying to know more about you. You’re just so…new! I nearly forgot you’re a stallion.”

Wow, I need to take that as a compliment. Wait, all males are stallions here. Damn. Well, better try to put out this fire.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.” Sort of. “But maybe just ask next time before you inspect someone a little too much.” I tried to laugh it off as I pulled my legs in, trying to hide the growing tent in my pants.

Thank God she has her back to me.

-Shit! This isn’t going away!

Fluttershy sniffed a few times. “Thank you but – I’m sure you don’t want to be around a pony like me.” She quickly stood up and started walking briskly away. I stared for an instant, then jumped up after her.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on! I don’t feel that way at all!” I caught up and grabbed her by the shoulders, spinning her around. She stared at me, ears back, eyes wide, a look of fear and sadness deeply etched on her face, her hands clenched together under her chin. Even standing right in front of me, she tried to hide half her face behind her mane. I couldn’t stand it. “You’re an amazing...pony! You saved my life! I may not know many ponies in this place – Equestria, or whatever, but I know that you stepped in and helped me without a second thought. That makes you the best pony around, in my opinion. And from talking to you, I can tell you’re a good person – pony, sorry. And besides,” here I let her go and took a step back and shrugged, “You’re the only one who can show me how to get out of this forest. I still need your help. You can’t leave me now.”

I was faking a confident smile when really I desperately wanted her to stay. And please keep looking at my face, don’t look down at my crotch! Her eyes were still wide but the look of fear was gone. She seemed bewildered and blushed furiously, her fingers interlaced together in front of her. Her ears came forward a little. “Do – do you really think that?”

“Yes, I do. And even if all that hadn’t happened,” here I grinned, “you said you liked my singing. When you said that I thought, 'Oh, I like her.'"

What the hell do you think you just said?

"Y-you l-l-like...?"

Quick, before she gets the wrong idea!

"Of course! Who wouldn't want to be your friend?"

“R-really?” she almost blossomed at the mention of the word “Friend” and I saw her nearly squeal with delight. “You’d be my friend? Oh my, that makes me so happy.” Her tone never got much louder than a near whisper, but I knew she meant every word.

Oh, thank God! Now I just need to stop sweating like crazy. And calm down, down there! Why won’t you go away?

“One thing though,” I said, sternly. Her ears drew back for a second. “If you have any more questions about my anatomy, please ask me rather than try to take off my clothes.” Here I broke out in a warm smile.

Her face went even more red than before and she looked down at her hands. “U-umm, yes, I mean, of course, I wouldn’t just try to…to…”

I laughed. “No, I’m just kidding! Don’t take it seriously. Well, I mean, still ask me before you do that again, but we’re good. No hard feelings.” I then stood up straight and raised my chin, and adopted a mock, pompous British accent. “Thank you, Miss Fluttershy, for a most astounding and…intriguing welcome to your land of Equestria! Surely no one could have done it better! I look forward to what else you can show me of your wondrous land. Please lead the way!” I gave a grand wave of one hand before me. “But first!” I held one finger before me and stared down at her seriously. Then I relaxed and smiled. “Let’s be friends.” And I held out my hand to her.

It made me happy to watch her face break out in a little smile that kept getting bigger and bigger. When she finally tentatively reached out her hand to take mine, she was beaming. “Oh yes, I’d love to be your friend!”

“Then it’s official! You are officially my best friend in Equestria!”

Oh, smooth, man, real smooth.

-Nice sarcasm.

It’s a pity complement.

-Was it, though?

We then began walking in the direction to where Fluttershy said her house was. She offered to let me stay there for the night, as it was so late and she didn't want to bother any other pony at that hour.

Of course she doesn't.

I asked how close her neighbors were, as maybe we should warn them that they'll see a strange creature the next day. She told me she lived on the outskirts of Ponyville and that no one really lived nearby.

With a name like Fluttershy, I shouldn't be surprised. But she isn't a shut in, she's out here for one thing and she's too socially adept for another (mostly).

Our casual conversation wandered all over the place, and I tried to answer some questions about humans. Then she asked me about my cutie mark.

She thinks I'm cute?

-No! She asked you what yours is.

"I'm...not sure what you mean. What is it?"

"Oh!" She looked very surprised, and stared at me for a second. Then she smiled as though something had occurred to her. "Wait, I bet you call it something else in your world. It's the mark you get when you discover something unique that only you can do. Something that sets you apart."

I ran that through my brain for a bit before answering.

"So you're not born with it?"

“No we get them when we -” now her eyes got really big. “You mean you've never heard of them? You don't have a cutie mark?!"

"Afraid not. We humans don't get that sort of thing.”

Fluttershy got real quiet. She was looking down and seemed to be thinking really hard. I thought I saw concern on her face. I let the silence play out, not sure what we were talking about or what to say next. Eventually Fluttershy broke the silence, speaking slowly.

“S-so...how do you know what it is you’re good at? How do you find...your...your place in your world?”

“Well, we just choose what we do with ourselves.” Then something occurred to me. “Though not all people work at what they’re good at, and some people don’t even do what makes them happy. Also,” I couldn’t help looking a little sad, holding my chin in my hand. “Some of us have a harder time than others finding our place. If we find it at all.”

I walked on in silence, looking down while I rubbed my chin absentmindedly. Fluttershy must’ve been looking at me for she said, “A-are you okay? You can tell me. If you want, I mean.”

I smiled at her concern. “You’re very kind. But I’ll be alright.”

It’s getting late, the effects are wearing off. I’m thinking too much, and in the wrong direction. I’ll be better in the morning.

“I’m sorry about my reaction about cutie marks. There are many other species here that don’t have them, but I never thought about how much they affect our lives. I’d feel lost without mine.”

I looked up and tried to give an authentic smile. “Maybe it’d help if you told me about your cutie mark.”

She then went on to tell me the story of how she first came to meet animals and finding she could communicate with them on a different level than anyone else. She had a wonderful relation with them. And that was when her cutie mark appeared: three pink butterflies.

“So it’s not just a design on your dress?” I inquired.

“Oh no, it’s actually here on my flank.” Here she pointed to her hip. As I contemplated her story, I realized it looked like I was staring at her butt. Because you are. I looked up, feeling my face grow warm, but Fluttershy looked just the same as before: happy and carefree. I scratched the back of my head and smiled, trying to laugh off my expression.

“Oh, I don't get to see it?" I laughed, a little too hard. "Well, I guess I'll just take your word for it.”

That's the shittiest joke you've ever done.

Fluttershy looked surprised. Her ears pulled back and she once again tried to hide half her face behind her mane. She glanced everywhere except at me.

Wow, I keep taking for granted her naivete. I’m being an ass without meaning to.

-No, you’re flirting with her! Since when did you ever do that with someone you didn’t know?

Rarely.

-Well, stop it!

“W-w-well,” Fluttershy stammered, finally bringing her eyes level with mine, “If-if you really need to see to believe me…” I saw her hand move to her skirt and begin to slowly pull it up. Her face was clearly a burning red, visible even in the little light we had.

“Wait, no - !”

Panicking at what I almost made this little, yellow equinoid do, I practically lunged forward and grabbed her hand before she got much higher than her knee. I didn’t think her eyes could get any wider as she stared up into my face. For about two seconds we stood there, and I realized that I had moved a lot further than I wanted to. Our bodies were separated by only a distance of two or three inches, our noses almost touching, and my arm was pinned against her side gripping her hand firmly but gently as we stared into each other’s eyes. I heard and felt her breathing against my neck, and I felt a strange tingling sensation in my brain - stronger than the feeling when I was in the forest alone, like the dawning of some great realization. Feeling a great need to get out of that moment, I decided that if I pulled away quickly I’d only make things worse. I felt a cold sweat on my forehead. I also realized I was unconsciously rubbing my thumb across her hand.

I feel like I almost destroyed something innocent. It’s like I asked a kitten to go beat up a puppy. But worse.

“No,” I said again, but it only came out in a tiny whisper. “You...you don’t need to do that. I really do believe you.” I seemed to be talking in a daze, I could practically see my own reflection in Fluttershy’s eyes as she just stood there, not struggling in my grasp, or trying to move away. I felt I really needed to say more. “I...I’m really sorry.” Here I stepped back slowly, holding up her hand in both of mine while I patted it in apology. “I was trying to be funny, but my human humor isn’t something I should have expected you to get. Please don’t...I’m sorry for what I almost made you do.”

Fluttershy tilted her head to one side as she looked back at me. Her eyes went to my hand, then back to my face, and I saw her ears go up, slowly. Her tail swished once back and forth.

I really need to figure out how to read all this extra body language. Do I need to look at the tails too, like a dog or something?

“S-s-s-so,” Fluttershy slowly stammered, “I-I-I guess...that I...probably shouldn’t...ask you to pull down your pants…” one side of her mouth twitched into what I think was an attempt at a smirking grin… “Just to make s-s-sure you don’t have a cutie mark?”

Holy shit! Did she just make a joke? By her face, I think it almost broke her.

I realized I was staring in shock, and I was still holding onto her hand.

Then the moment broke all at once, and I belly-laughed so hard I had to clutch my stomach. Tears ran down my face, and through them I saw Fluttershy laughing too. We stood there letting out all the tension that had built up in that last minute (was it really such a small amount of time?).

Eventually we collected ourselves and set off again through the woods. I thought over much of what we’d talked about and posed a question.

“So what are your friends’ cutie marks - ?”

“-why? S-so you can l-look at them too?”

If I had any water in my mouth I’d have done a spit take. I guffawed and looked at Fluttershy with a little admiration. Fluttershy put her hand to her mouth and giggled at my reaction.

Look at that, a little bit more confidence. That-a-girl…I mean mare.

“Ha! No, I mean I just want to know what theirs are. What do they look like and what do they represent? I’m trying to understand you, ponies, a little better.”

You ponies? Like 'you people?' You’re not better than them, you’re as much a -

-Shut up! Just shut up for once! I tried to keep my face calm despite my inner turmoil.

Fluttershy then went on to speak of her friends - Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity - and all of their cutie marks and what they meant for each pony’s special talents. I thanked her and found my mind going on a rather different train of thought.

“So...wait, help me out here, what’s your friend Applejack do?”

“She works on the Sweet Apple Acres farm.”

Apples, right.

"Okay. And Rainbow Dash is an incredible flyer...does she have rainbow wings?”

“No, but her mane and tail are rainbow colored.”

Rainbows, naturally.

“Rarity…?”

“Can find hidden gems.”

Which are rare. Hence the name, I’m really seeing the pattern now.

“And," I concluded, "Twilight Sparkle has a sparkling star as her cutie mark.”

Sparkle.

“Well, yes. What is it?”

I looked up from my deep contemplation of the ground in front of me and then at her for a moment.

I ain’t touching Pinkie Pie, that’s way too adorable. And this one’s name is Fluttershy. She can flutter, and she’s shy...No, better not say anything. I think I might unbalance her whole world.

“It’s, uh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I tried to smile.

We walked on a while more without saying much.

We were nearing the edge of the woods when Fluttershy spoke up.

“Brendon…Brendon…” she repeated my name slowly, as though trying to feel it out. “Does your name mean anything in your world?”

I tried not to sound surprised at her breaking in on my thought process. She had hit me a little too close to the mark.

It's almost not fair. These ponies don’t have to go far to find out who they are; it’s in their name! I wish I had that kind of self-knowledge waiting around for me to discover.

“W-well…” I tried to think of something and could only come up with the truth. “My mom told me when I was little that it meant ‘keeper of the hill’ in the Irish language. I never really followed up to see what that really meant.” Or if it was even true. I had suspected for years that my mom said it out of ignorance, especially with her choosing such a different spelling of the usual name, “Brendan.”

“‘Keeper of the hill,’” Fluttershy said slowly, then shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know. I wish I could help you find out.”

I smiled at her and shrugged back. “Thanks but I seriously doubt it would help me figure out who I am.”

“You don’t know who you are?”

“D-dah, I mean - ! N-nothing. Oh, look! We’re here!” I was saved from that horrible can of worms being opened as we came out into the open.

In the darkness, what I first took as an immense, misshapen rock standing out against the stars turned out to be Fluttershy's home. I couldn't take it all in, just caught a glimpse of a lot of green, the smells and sounds of animals, and then we were opening her front door. From a distance, her lighted window looked like a cave, but then when we got in and she lit more lamps I was taken aback by how large and well furnished it was.

If she does this well just taking care of animals, how are the rest of the ponies here doing?

I offered to sleep on the couch downstairs but Fluttershy wouldn't hear of it. She took me to a spare room upstairs, down the hall from the bathroom and her bedroom. I thanked her profusely for her help and offered to pay before realizing I had no currency. She laughed it off and showed me where the spare towels were in the bathroom and got me a spare toothbrush. I asked if I could use the bathroom first so as to avoid any embarrassing situations. She said of course and I went about trying to do my usual evening routine.

Use the toilet. Brush teeth. Take my evening pill - "No," I whispered in near panic, sweat breaking out all over my body. I...have...no...meds…

I writhed in place and then paced around for a full minute, barely stopping myself from slamming my fists on the sink in frustration, but then I got myself under control. Then the fury came again and I had to stop from hitting the walls, then the floor, and even my own head. I was barely containing the rising scream that was building up inside of me. I stared at myself in the mirror and saw a look of terror on my face.

"No no no no nononoonono, oh God, please, no."

I don't know how long I stayed like that: no clear thought, no plan, just lost in a long moment while wishing that moment wasn't real. Then I heard a voice at the door.

"Ummmm, excuse me."

Fluttershy! Had she been there the whole time? Was she spying? Did she suspect I wasn't right? No, that was the dark thoughts. She was probably just concerned. "I don't want to be a bother, but are you okay?"

Quick as a flash I tried to force myself under control. "Yeah! Nothing to worry about!"

How many times will you tell her that before you actually believe it? I splashed water on my face and tried to reorient my facial features. I needed to get the fear out of my eyes and just smile.

"Ummm, okay. It's just that...I thought I heard something, so I just wanted to check and see if there was anything I could do to -"

"Nope. I mean, no thank you. I'll be out in a second!"

"Oh, alright. Take your time."

How does she do that without changing tone? It can't be that she believes me. I am not alright. I'm never alright.

Shut up! Stop it!

I practiced my smile until I was semi-happy with it, then quickly pulled the door open. I almost ran right into Fluttershy who looked as if she hadn't moved at all from when she spoke to me through the door. She stood there smiling up at me, as if nothing in the world was wrong, a towel in her hand and a change of clothes in the other. It looked like a nightgown or something, I barely glanced at it; I just so desperately wanted to get away, to hide.

I stammered some sort of “excuse me,” and went down the hall to my room, closing the door behind me. I sat heavily on the bed with my head in my hands for a while as I tried to calm myself down.

It’s just one night. Who knows? They might get you home in the morning. Then you can get your meds and you’ll be fine. You always have enough sitting in your bloodstream to help you get through one day without it. Right? It’ll be okay.

-It won’t come to that. Don't think of the hospital! You’re in a different place. You’ve been with Dr. Mark for years and you know you’re not the same man.

But I’m still scared. Oh, God, I’m so scared. The darkness will be back. Darkness and despair.

-Oh, God, shut the hell up! I can’t think about it!

It's your own fault! Why did you jump into that damned portal?

After untold minutes of sitting there, my eyes darting around, seeing nothing, I slowly undressed and placed my clothes on a little nightstand. Wondering if going to bed in my briefs would be warm enough, I searched the nightstand and found a set of pajamas. They were bright pink. It gave me an excuse to laugh. “Ho, no. Well...I can live with the pants. I never wear a shirt to bed anyway.” I was just putting them on when I realized that I never said good night.

Don’t be impolite to her. She’s an innocent little thing and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

-But you can’t see anyone like this!

But it’ll just take a second!

-Quick! Now!

With no clear thought except the desperate need to get it over with, I threw open my door and dashed out before I changed my mind, thinking I’d just say a quick good night through her door. I ran out fast and felt a fist punch me in the face. It turned out that Fluttershy was right outside my door, her arm in mid motion to knock on my door (and by how rigid her arm felt, I think she had been standing there for a bit, working up her courage to do so). With how much momentum I had, I essentially close lined myself on her fist, my legs slipping out from under me as I slammed into the floor. I wish I had blacked out, if just from the sheer humiliation of it all, but I didn't. Not quite, anyway.

I was barely conscious. At that moment I was in a world of dizzying pain. Whatever I saw was swirling colors that hurt to look at. All I could remember was that there was something important I had to say, and someone very important to say it to. I felt like I was in a dream, everything was feelings and emotions, yet they were vague and undefined. Pain, heat, confusion. I might have drained my bamage.

I eventually felt myself being lifted ever so gently and something cool placed on my forehead. Where once it was all pain, now I felt comfort and kindness. Whatever I was now laying on was very soft, and I felt someone supporting my head with something even softer. My befuddled mind sank into bliss. All I knew was that my world had been pain, and someone was taking that pain away. For some reason that was extremely touching. I felt like crying, whatever this person was doing seemed so unselfish, so kind, and like a dream I couldn’t explain why it touched me so deeply. There was some terribly moving music coming from somewhere nearby. I felt something cool being brought to my lips and I drank. My eyes felt wet. I had to tell this person how wonderful they were, but my lips would not work. I felt like weeping, for here was some sort of great truth that I couldn’t share with this nice person. Some soft voice was trying to say something back and I struggled to raise my head and say what I had to say, raising my hand in desperation to reach out and touch this person who seemed so very far away. I hoped they wouldn’t run away and leave me. My lips said it, whatever it was, for like a dream I could remember no dialogue. I sank back, smiling at a job well done, and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

These next events I only learned much later.

Fluttershy slowly crept back to her room, trying not to think too much of what had just happened. Of course the human was delirious, he had just had a rather nasty bump on the noggin. But still, why did she keep replaying the situation over and over in her head?

After he had fallen, she had scrambled to help him. After getting what she needed, she had laid him on the bed, getting up next to him so that she could support his head on her lap. She had wiped his face with a cold, wet cloth and slowly gave him water mixed with healing herbs she had kept from Zecora. She had sung softly to him, like she would with any wounded animal, and the human had kept mumbling something she couldn’t quite hear. It looked like there were tears in his eyes. She had tried to quiet him and tell him it would all be alright, but he had shaken his head and tried to sit up. After many failed attempts at this, she decided to lean in close to hear what he wanted to say. It was at that moment he finally raised his head a few inches, his unseeing eyes opened and looked straight into hers, he raised his hand and clumsily found her face where he caressed her cheek once, ever so gently, and she heard him whisper, “You’re just...so beautiful. Please. You have to know. So beautiful. Please...please…” His voice faded, his eyes closed, his hand fell away, and his head sank back. His breathing deepened. Asleep at last.

“He...he probably didn’t even know who he was talking to,” she reassured herself, as she climbed into bed. “If he did, he wouldn’t have said such things.” She lay down and closed her eyes. It wasn’t long before she opened them again, staring at the wall as though trying to see through it into the man’s room. “Poor Brendon. I wonder why he seems so sad.” She smiled. “He does seem nice. I do hope I can help him.” There was a long silence. “I wonder if he really thinks I’m beautiful."

She turned over and closed her eyes. Eventually a tiny whimper could be heard in the darkness. "Oh."

* * *

I started up from my bed. I woke from a wonderful dream, but I struggled to remember it. One lingering thought seemed to remain: "Please don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."

What had happened? I had opened the door to my room and then…something hit me. Or I ran into something? I looked around but I was safely in bed, my head hurt but not too much, and the only thing I knew was that I wasn't the one that put me there.

"Fluttershy," I said aloud to the darkness of the room. I half wanted her to be there and respond. I sat there thinking about how she had been so kind to me, had saved me, even put me to bed when I fell(?), and yet she seemed so down on herself. I liked her smile. Someone like that deserves to smile. But why was she so shy? Something to find out another time.

As I drifted off to sleep, thinking about this strange mare whom I had met this day, it didn’t even occur to me that, as I was thinking of Fluttershy, all thoughts of the darkness were nowhere to be found. The only darkness was outside; inside all was comfort, kindness, and peace.

Author's Note

Yep, that's a LONG intro. Good news is a hood portion of it is already written, including the ending (all two of them). I'm trying to keep characters as close to themselves as I can (while failing miserably). It may seem tame, but I know where this will inevitably go, thus the mature rating. For those of you waiting for the juicy bits, a tiny bit of patience is needed.

Comments welcome! Thanks for reading this far!