Sometimes it’s a wonder you even have friends. Why is it that whenever people you know want to do anything even remotely fun, you always seem to have some kind of super rare circumstance that just has to keep you home when they want you to hang out with them?
“Oh, sorry. I’d love to come, but I have to finish my taxes. Otherwise my dog will get leprosy. Sorry, I can’t make it to that thing tonight. My mom is on probation for dealing switchblades to people in retirement homes, and now I have to stay home and take care of her. Huh? She’s supposed to be in the hospital after I couldn’t hang out the last time? Oh, no, this is my other mom. The one from Saddle Arabia. You wouldn’t know her. She moves around a lot.”
Of course, you knew it would only be a matter of time before they caught onto the fact that you were really just laying in bed watching hooflix all day, but can they blame you? It’s not like it’s a very fun process spending a good three hours on your hair just to go to a swimming pool and have it messed up in five minutes anyway. Besides, isn’t it selfish of them not to join you in putting their hair in a bun, picking out their favorite pajamas and laying on the couch like a potatoe for twelve hours while staring at a screen with you? Why do you have to go outside and join them on their adventures?
Honestly, your ideas of what constitutes as fun make you nothing short of a genius, but nobody seems to understand how smart you are. Even more tragic, however, is the fact that you know you need to hang out with them in public at least every once in a while in order to continue being friends with them. Somebody cue the violins.
Of course, the activity they have picked out for you this time is visiting the local swimming pool, where you’ll have to dress up in a revealing swimsuit to impress people you don’t like. Hopefully they don’t ask you to take any pictures with them. The idea of having to suck in your stomach a half million times for stupid internet posts so you can look like a magazine model doesn’t sound nearly as exciting as being the one behind the camera. Then again, none of that seems as fun as laying in bed and not getting out until it becomes absolutely mandatory. Why aren’t you doing that, again?
“C’mon! It’s gonna be fun!” says Pinkie Pie, a friend of yours with way too much energy for one person. “We get to splash each other, play marco polo, have breath-holding contests and run when the lifeguards tell us not to!”
“Preeeetty sure you should listen to the lifeguards, Pinkie,” you tell her as the two of you make your way through the women’s locker room, each of you sporting your new swimsuits.
“Oh, puh-lease,” replies Rarity, another friend who just happened to find time to not only curl her hair, but also put on copious amounts of makeup that will just poison the kids who drink the pool water. “It’s not like anyone has ever died from running on the pool deck before. Besides, how else are you going to get them to notice you?”
Rarity throws in a wink for good measure, but you can’t help but notice the flaw in her logic. “Uh, I’m pretty sure multiple people have died from running on the pool deck before! I’m not about to risk my life just to get some lifeguard’s attention.”
As soon as you make your claim, however, the other two girls giggle hysterically, making you tilt your eyebrows while you try to figure out the totally hilarious joke that you just happened to not hear.
“Oh, Anon,” Pinkie Pie says. “We need to find you a boyfriend.”
“Absolutely,” adds her purple-haired friend. “Darling, you don’t know what you’re missing until you’ve had the right man wrap his arm around your waist and whisper sweet nothings into your ears.”
As Rarity is close to collapsing dramatically from her own fantasies, Pinkie Pie shivers excitedly. “Ooooooo I’m getting excited just thinking about it! Anon, I promise as your bestest friend in the whole world--”
“Twilight is my best friend.”
“--as your second best friend in the whole world, I will not--I repeat, will not--let you leave this place until we find the perfect boyfriend for you. I’ll keep you here until Equestria freezes over if I have to!”
As nice as that sounds, though, you didn’t exactly come to the pool hoping that Pinkie Pie would keep you hostage until you found your future husband and had babies right there in the shallow end. If anything, your biggest priority is just to enjoy the day as much as you can without feeling sweatpants withdrawals. Besides, nobody finds the love of their life at a swimming pool.
At least... that’s what you thought…
“We’re heeeeere!” Pinkie Pie exclaims to the whole world once the three of you leave the locker room, soliciting the gazes of people nearby. “What did you wanna do first? Scuba diving? Water balloon fights?”
You place your face in your palm, shaking your head with embarrassment. “Pinkie, neither of those are options here.”
“That’s fine,” adds Rarity, looking off in a completely different direction. “I think I have a much better idea anyway.”
Of course, as you should have expected, she’s looking straight towards the lifeguard stand, seeing the cute boy from your university that every girl has been eyeing since learning he was single. Feather Bangs, an aspiring pop singer with the voice and hair of an angel, recently having lost the girl of his dreams to some no name farm boy. He’s cute and all, but he just doesn’t seem like your type, which is probably for the best seeing as how Rarity hasn’t been able to take her eyes off of him since you got there.
“Go get him, Rares,” you say, to which she immediately grins before walking in his direction, casually swaying her hips seductively with every step she takes. Of course, you want her to succeed in her endeavor, but if she strikes gold with Feather Bangs, that’s gonna leave you to spend the entire day alone with Pinkie Pie. May Celestia have mercy.
Once Rarity starts talking to him, things apparently seem to go well, seeing as how he’s smiling and looking at her rather than watching the people in the pool like he's supposed to. Once she brushes her hair back, though, that’s her subtle cue that she’s going to be a while, leaving Pinkie Pie and you to have fun without her.
“They look like they’re kicking it off pretty well,” Pinkie Pie says. “How about we go ride the biggest water slide we can find?!”
“Pinkie Pie, we’re in an indoor pool. The water slides aren’t going to be that big.”
“Yeah, but let’s find the biggest one and ride it!”
You can’t really fight with that logic. Even though the two of you are in an indoor pool (considering that for some reason, they wanted to go swimming at the end of December), there are still a couple water slides, ranging from small ones meant for babies all the way up to the “you must be this tall to ride” water slides. The biggest one involves going up a pretty tall staircase, then swirling down after about six loops before dropping you down to the bottom, and even though you’re still trying to play the victim for having to leave the house, it actually looks like a pretty fun ride. Maybe you can try it out once before saying that this day is a total drag…
Finally, after walking up the stairs for a grueling thirty seconds, the two of you make it to the top, standing in line behind about four other people. The real kicker, though, is that when the two of you get there, the lifeguard is busy arguing with some grade school kid, holding up the line so that nobody can go. She looks so beautiful for her age with hair like Rarity’s, albeit a shade of pink and white rather than the royal purple that Rarity has. She’s also full of confidence, standing there and speaking like she owns the place, and the only downside to that is how impatient it’s making everyone around her.
“I told you already, little girl. You’re too little to ride alone.”
“You let my friend go just a minute ago!” she exclaims with her hands on her hips. “She’s not that much taller than me!”
“Tall enough to go down by herself.”
“This is ridiculous! It’s an outrage!”
“Sorry, miss. Those are the rules.”
The girl scoffs, turning around with an elegant spin, clenching her fists as she walks. “I hope you know, my daddy could have you fired for this.”
“Doubt it.”
The girl then gives him one more fiery glare, but as soon as she starts making her way towards the staircase, a thought suddenly crosses your mind that could potentially fix this whole situation.
“Excuse me,” you say, awkwardly holding up your hand like you’re in the middle of eighth grade math class. “You said she just couldn’t ride alone, right?”
Suddenly, the girl stops at the first step, looking cautiously over her shoulder as you await the lifeguard’s reply. “Sure, if she wanted to, but everyone here’s already riding with someone else.”
“I’ll ride with her.” The words just seem to blurt out of your mouth before you think them over properly, and to make matters worse, the girl remains frozen, taking a minute to think before looking back at you with a suspicious stare. “I mean, if that’s alright with her.”
Finally, she turns back around and looks you over from head to toe, probably judging you based on how you don’t have a buttload of product in your hair or painted toenails that have been given a proper pedicure in the past three hours. With a shrug of her shoulders, though, she shakes her head and says, “Well, I guess you’ll have to do. I’m guessing that means the two of us can proceed to the front of the line, though, seeing as how you’ve kept me here for so long already.”
The lifeguard then looks over to the line of people, but they all nod their heads to just let her have her way so they can get on to their turn. “Sure,” he says, allowing you and the girl to cut in front of everyone, probably making Pinkie Pie very jealous on the inside. Once she moves away from the steps, however, she gives you a haughty smirk, sticking her nose in the air.
“See how lucky you are? You didn’t even have to wait in line.”
You mentally roll your eyes, trying not to say anything that would cause any more problems than she already has. If anyone else said something like that to you, you would at least give them a passive aggressive dirty look as revenge, but for some reason, the way this ten year old girl holds herself to such high esteem is actually a little cute. It’s just one more reason to never have kids of your own, but it’s at least entertaining enough for you to not get angry with her.
“Alright,” the lifeguard begins once the two of you reach the top of the slide, right where the water shoots out along its edges. “For this, I’m gonna have you sit in between this girl’s legs while she wraps her arms around your waist. Be sure to hold onto her hands as tight as you can!”
“What?!” the girl exclaims, but you just sit down where he tells you before she has the chance to argue any further. She looks hesitant, as you expected, grimacing from the idea of being coddled like a child until finally she scoffs and angrily sits down on your lap, folding her arms with a pout. “Fine. Whatever. Just hold me or whatever you need to do.”
You then do as you’re told, not because she told you to, but because you like the feeling of being able to tell this snotty little brat at a moment’s notice that she’s not allowed to ride if you don’t feel like it anymore. It’s the small things in life that bring you joy, after all. Once your arms are around her hips, you feel her small, delicate fingers overlap yours, and looking down at the girl in your arms, you can see a small blush in her cheeks as she turns her head the other way. It would actually be adorable if she weren’t such a little b--
“Alright!” the lifeguard says, speaking loudly so the two of you can hear over the sound of the rushing water. “In just a second, I’m gonna send you two off! Make sure you’re holding on super tight!”
“We heard you! Just send us off already!”
The lifeguard then looks up at you, wondering why you’re helping such a spoiled jerk who has shown nothing but disrespect, but you just shrug your shoulders, not quite sure of the answer yourself. “Whatever,” he says under his breath, placing his hand on your back. “Go!”
Then, with a small push, the two of you are moving forward, feeling the wind race by your cheeks as the two of you begin yelling from the adrenaline suddenly shooting through your veins. Water splashes the both of you all over as you skid down the slide, but you can’t even think about what it’s doing to your hair as you cheer with excitement, rolling your shoulders along with the turns so the two of you can gain more momentum. The girl on your lap is hollering with just as much excitement as you are, releasing her hands from yours to stick them up into the air as the two of you swirl down to the bottom. The feeling of exhilaration causes you to hold on tighter, hugging the girl close as you both laugh from the ride until finally, the two of you reach the final dip where you slide down to a complete stop.
At the very bottom, another lifeguard helps the two of you out of the water, helping the girl on your lap first as you slowly push yourself onto your feet. Then, once you get up, you see another girl standing there waiting for her, probably the friend she was alluding to earlier who she said had gone ahead of her. She has braided silver hair and pink-rimmed glasses that are about two sizes too big for her face, and she’s tapping her foot impatiently while the two of you slowly step back onto the pool deck.
“What took you so long?” the friend asks.
“Oh, like you wouldn’t know!” the girl replies. “You were sooo busy thinking of yourself that you didn’t even notice that they wouldn’t let me on the ride by myself!”
“Is that why you brought your babysitter?” Both you and the girl blush in embarrassment as her friend laughs hysterically. “Come on. Let’s go find something that you’re actually tall enough to do.”
As her friend walks away, however, the girl you rode down with remains where she stands, looking furious. The situation is kinda awkward, seeing as how this is probably going to end up in a fight with you in the middle, but seeing as how you’re still waiting for Pinkie Pie to come down, there’s not a whole lot you can do to avoid it.
“No,” the girl says, making her friend turn around with an eyebrow raised. “You wanted to go down by yourself? Well, I’m sure there’s lots of other stuff you can do by yourself too. I’m gonna hang out with my new friend instead. What’s your name, by the way?”
“A-Anon, but I don’t really think--”
“Yeah! Me and Anon are gonna go swim together. You have fun looking for something to do alone.”
Her friend gasps theatrically, slumping her shoulders with her mouth agape while the girl by your side grabs you by the hand, already turning to lead you away. This will be a fun thing to explain to Pinkie Pie, but even though this situation is extremely one sided, you don’t have the nerve to tell her that you need to stay and wait for your own friend. Plus, the last thing you want to do is make this girl any angrier, seeing as how she looks like she makes life miserable for anyone that gets on her bad side.
“Fine!” says the silver-haired girl. “Have fun walking home!”
“Whatever! Anon will just drive me home!”
“Wait, I’m gonna do what?”
Before you can object, however, the other girl walks away, leaving you with the pink-haired kid that you thought you were doing a favor for. Probably the last time you’ll ever help a child in need. Not gonna lie.
“So!” she says with confident enthusiasm, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. “What did you wanna do first?”
“Uhhh, wait for my friend? She should be down any minute. You didn’t really mean what you said, right? Like you’re not just gonna ditch--”
“WHAT?!” she exclaims, making you flinch in fear. “Your friend?! I thought I was supposed to be your friend!”
“I don’t even know your name!”
“Diamond Tiara,” she says majestically, placing her hands on her hips with a confident look in her eyes. “Daughter of Filthy Rich. Maybe you’ve heard of him?”
The way she says it makes it seem like you’re obviously supposed to know who the guy is, and as much as you hate to admit it, after spending as much time watching a screen as you do, you’re bound to run into one of his Barnyard Bargain advertisements at least every once in a while. His business is probably one of the most successful local businesses in Ponyville, one that’s been part of the town basically since its founding, which means that this chick has probably been spoiled rotten her whole life. No wonder she walks around like she owns the place. She probably does!
“Listen, Diamond.”
“Diamond Tiara.”
“Right. Listen, Diamond Tiara. My friend Pinkie Pie will be really disappointed if she finds out that I won’t be able to spend the day with her. We did come together, after all.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Then, as if on cue, you hear a high-pitched squeal sliding down from the top of the water slide, growing louder as a pink ball of fluffy hair comes into view along with a face carrying more energy than is probably healthy for a grown woman. Finally, when she gets to the bottom, the water at the end of the slide somehow splashes out in a tidal wave, covering both you and Diamond Tiara in an unexpected shower. Of course, as she gets up, she looks like she just had the best experience of her life, shaking her wet hair like a dog until it poofs back out to its normal shape.
“Wowie kazowie! We have got to do that again!”
“About that,” Diamond Tiara says before you get the chance to speak. “Would it be OK if I took Anon for the day?”
You silently shake your head, putting your arms in the shape of an X while mouthing the word “no.” Pinkie Pie, though, is an idiot.
“Sure! I’ll go look for Rarity. She probably struck out by now anyway. Bye, Anon! Have fun with your new friend!”
You reach out to stop her, but she’s too busy skipping away for you to catch her in time. Somehow, just because you decided to be a nice person for once in your life, you ended up playing babysitter for some girl you don’t even know, and you’re not even getting paid to do it! Unless you convinced her dad somehow… Hmm…
“Come on, Anon,” Diamond Tiara then says, grabbing you by the wrist and leading you away. “Let’s go check out the wave pool.”
By the time she finally gets tired, the pool is close to closing, and to put things into perspective, you arrived with Pinkie and Rarity about two hours after the pool opened. Even with her youthful enthusiasm, you’re surprised that she’s managed to last this long without food or potty breaks, but then again, she probably just went in the pool like everyone else. Pinkie Pie probably did at one point too, even though there’s no way you can prove that. This is getting gross. Anyway.
The two of you then dry up in the women’s locker room, praying that you’ll meet her friend at some point when you’re in there so you can dump her off, but sadly, the two of you are alone with only a handful of people left. Pinkie Pie and Rarity left not long after you ditched them, seeing as how Rarity was depressed about getting her heart broken from some guy she didn’t even know. Plus, she probably had no intention of actually getting in the water anyway. You don’t want to think badly about the few friends you have, but you’re pretty sure the only reason Rarity even chose the pool was so that she could show off her swimsuit to all the cute boys. Speaking of friends, this leaves you with your new friend, who you’re probably going to have to drive home.
“So,” you say awkwardly, not exactly sure how to ask if she can get a ride from someone else. “Today was fun.”
“Yeah, it was better once we left Silver Spoon to go do our own thing,” she replies, slipping on an expensive dress over her dry body. “I should probably make up with her, though. She’s probably at home crying right now.”
She then pulls out her expensive phone, the newest version of a brand that only a rich daughter could afford, but you can’t help furrowing your eyebrows with a little bit of disgust. “You don’t really think highly of your friends, do you?”
Once you ask the question, though, Diamond Tiara raises an eyebrow curiously. “What are you talking about? Silver Spoon is everything to me.”
It takes a minute for her message to sink in, but once it does, you become even more surprised. “Huh?! B-but you’ve been so mean towards her today! If she’s your friend, doesn’t she deserve better than that?”
Diamond Tiara sighs, taking her eyes off of her phone while she folds her arms and looks directly into your eyes with the utmost confidence. “We don’t have to get along all the time. She knows that she’s my best friend, and she knows she shouldn’t have ditched me back at the water slide. We’ve overcome worse. It’s not like we’re going to stop being best friends because we get angry at each other every once in a while.”
Crap. That wasn’t expected. In fact, it makes you kinda regret not being better to your own friends. At least she doesn’t make up excuses when she doesn’t want to hang out with the people who care about her.
“Oh,” she continues, “you don’t have to worry about driving me home. My daddy is coming to pick me up so we can get dinner over at L’etalon this evening. I’d invite you, but the reservation is only for three people.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me! I’m kinda tired anyway. I was just going to go home and lay in bed anyway.”
“Cool,” she says, looking down at her phone as she texts her friend, not even feigning interest and making this whole situation that much more awkward. Where do you even go from here? Do you just say bye and leave? This isn’t exactly a situation you come across all the time, after all.
“So…” you begin, grabbing your stuff and wrapping it in your towel. “Have a good night, then, I guess.”
You then start making your way towards the exit, but out of the corner of your eye, you see her taking her eyes off of her phone, giving you a weird look. “Uh, where are you going?”
As you turn around to look at her, you feel a sudden social pressure begin to make your hands shake again, nervous that you might be doing something wrong, even when there’s no reason you need to meet any expectations she might have. “I was… just going home? Why?”
“You really don’t get it, do you?” In the next moment, she quickly pulls your towel out of your hands, searches through your belongings until she finds your phone and starts scrolling through your apps, making you wish you had set up a password on your lock screen. “I’m adding you on SnapGab. You’d better follow me back.”
Follow her? For what? So you can see pictures of her traveling the world while you silently ghost her and never speak to her again?
“Sure. I’ll follow you.”
“Good.” She then hands you back your phone with the rest of your personal belongings. “Because we’re hanging out again tomorrow.”
Hang on! You never committed to any of this! Tomorrow is your only potato day left before you have to go back to classes! You can’t just be social two days in a row!
“Listen. I don’t think--”
“We’re going shopping. Obviously I need to get you a new swimsuit. Preferably one that isn’t green.”
“What’s wrong with green?”
Diamond Tiara, though, scoffs, leaving you without an explanation as she walks ahead of you towards the exit of the locker room. “Your life is about to change forever. I hope you know that.”
Then, she walks away, while you just stand there with a confused look on your face. Looking down at your smartphone, however, you see your SnapGab account pulled up along with a picture of her doing something that you haven’t seen her do all day: smile. Normally you can tell a lot about a person’s personality based on their profile picture, but hers broadcasts to the world the polar opposite of what you saw today. She doesn’t look angry, entitled or spoiled. She looks just like a sweet little girl, posing with her friend from earlier like she’s just some ordinary girl, even though you know she’s far beyond ordinary.
Also, what did she mean earlier? Admittedly, you didn’t expect your day to turn out like it had, but what was going to be different now? Is this girl really going to affect your life that much?
You then shake your head, tossing the idea out the window. “Don’t be crazy, Anon. She’s just some girl. By this time tomorrow, life is going to go back to how it’s always been.”
*****
The Next Day
*****
You sleep in until probably ten o’clock in the morning, which isn’t really all that impressive, even though most people you know would have at least had a shower by now. You’re debating whether you even want to wake up or go back to sleep, but the idea of binge watching that one show with that one guy makes you excitedly reach over for your phone. You can’t even be bothered to watch it on a big screen like your laptop. That would take energy, which is completely forbidden on your day of rest, relaxation and--Are you freaking kidding?!
As soon as you open your phone, you see that the girl from the day before has already sent you a message in picture format. You run your hand down your face, wondering whether or not you actually want to open it, but relenting to your desire not to be a jerk, you take a look at the picture, just to find that it’s number one of seven. Does she not realize that adults are asleep until at least five in the afternoon? What could she possibly want?
The first message is a picture of her in her expensive nightgown, surrounded by satin bedsheets and a barrage of pillows, posing with a cute face despite the fact that she probably just woke up. The message just says “Good morning,” without any further context. The thing that makes you mad, though, is that she still looks pretty without a bunch of makeup, something that you wish had followed with you up to your current age. Life is unfair sometimes.
The next couple of pictures are legitimately just random snapshots of her life, from her morning breakfast to her closet full of outfits, even taking a picture of her daddy reading the newspaper. Her life seems so simple, despite the fact that she’s living in total luxury. Each of her messages make her look just like a regular girl with a regular life, at least until you get to the seventh message that she sent you. The picture is of her with an adorable outfit, holding a designer purse as she poses in front of a mirror with the caption, “Meet me at the mall at noon.”
What?! That only gives you like another hour before you have to leave bed! This is so not fair! At the same time, though, you can’t just leave a girl there waiting for you while you refuse to show up, and it’s not like you can just send her a picture of how you look now with the caption, “Lol how ‘bout no?” You still have a hard time getting a grip around your reasoning, though. You never once committed to hanging out with this girl, but for some reason, everything she tells you to do, you follow along with. It’s like she has some kind of control over your mind that you don’t really understand, and you’re having absolutely no luck breaking out of it.
“Ugh,” you groan, finally sitting up from your comfortable laying position. “Do I really have to take a shower today?”
Of course you do, you slob. You still smell like chlorine from yesterday. You would have needed to take a shower at some point anyway. At least this way she gave you a time limit, motivating you to take the covers off of your bare legs, inviting the unwanted cold of the winter air. Again, all the signs point to you blowing her off today so you can enjoy your day off, but you just can’t seem to find a way to tell her no.
She’d better appreciate you for this. Ugh. Cold.
“There you are! How long were you planning on keeping me waiting?”
You pull out your phone and look at the time. It is literally 12:01. How early did this girl expect you to get here?
“Anyway,” she continues, shrugging it off, “where did you wanna shop first? I have a list of places I wanna shop at, but I wanna see which place you like best.”
Honestly, this feels like a pop quiz more than anything. You’ve basically been buying all your clothes online since you learned that you didn’t have to drive places to go shopping. You really don’t remember which stores the mall even has anymore, let alone which of them is your favorite.
“How about… Spring Fling?”
“Spring Fling?! What, are you low on garbage bags or something?” Yes, actually. You quickly make a mental note to get more later once you’re done blowing your brains out. “We’re going to Carousel Boutique. They’ve got to have something for you there.”
Diamond Tiara then turns towards the direction of the store, but you quickly remember something that halts you where you stand. “Isn’t that place supposed to be really expensive?”
The minute you speak up, though, she freezes, turning back around so she can give you another glare. “My daddy gave me his credit card. It’s not like he’s going to be mad at me for buying my friend a new outfit.”
“Wait! I can’t just let you pay for my clothes for me!”
Suddenly, her glare changes into a look of confusion, making your heart bounce around with even more unease. “Why? I want to do something nice for my friend, and my daddy said it was OK. This is chump change for him.”
There’s that word again. Friend. When did the two of you become friends, exactly? Was it when she added you on social media? Was it when you first volunteered to be her partner at the water slide? This whole thing is so confusing, but she’s using it as some kind of magic to get you to do anything she says. Of course, you’re making everything you’re doing seem like one big chore when she’s taking time out of her day just to see you and buy you cute new clothes. Does that make her a better friend than you?
Either way, you quickly follow her to the store where she wants to shop, immediately being bombarded with clothes that you normally wouldn’t expect to be able to afford in your wildest dreams. Is this seriously chump change for her dad, and if it is, how do you sign up to be part of that family?
“Hey, check this out, Anon!” she says, leading you over to see a beautiful pink dress that matches her hair perfectly. “Do you think I should wear this tonight?”
You tilt your head in confusion. “Tonight?”
“For the party, duh!” she says, putting one hand on her waist and rolling her eyes. “Seriously, how did you not know about it when your friend Pinkie Pie is the one planning it?”
A party Pinkie Pie’s planning? You search through the missing files in your head, turning the gears over and over until finally, a lightbulb goes off over your head. “Wait! Does that mean tonight is--”
“New Year’s Eve. Duh.”
You’ve spent so long trying to avoid anything social that you completely forgot what the date was! The way she responded, though, makes another question rise up in your head.
“Hang on. You know Pinkie Pie?”
“For the third time, duh! Everyone in Ponyville knows who Pinkie Pie is. She takes care of basically all of my family’s special events, and tonight’s going to be no different. Now do you like the dress? Because I’m going to be hanging out with you tonight.”
This just went from zero to one hundred real quick.
“What about your friend Silver Spork?”
“Silver Spoon? She just got a boyfriend. I don’t wanna be the third wheel and watch them make out at midnight. Blech.”
Something like that does sound pretty uncomfortable, whether that means she would just be tagging along or legitimately watching them playing tonsil hockey all night. If that would make her third wheel, though, does that mean…?
“You’re single?” You’re afraid the question might have been too personal or uncomfortable, especially since she’s probably only like ten, but it still surprises you that out of all the ten year olds in the world, she’s not one of the few with a boyfriend. She obviously feels the same way, folding her arms angrily, pouting with one cheek puffed out.
“So what?! I’ve never had a boyfriend before. That doesn’t mean anything!”
“I’m sorry. I’m just… surprised.”
“It’s not like I haven’t had offers,” she says, sticking her nose in the air and flicking her hair behind her shoulder. “I’m just waiting for the right person is all.”
For some reason, even as you flip through different outfits that the store has to offer--an opportunity that does not come often--the idea of talking about her love life seems genuinely more entertaining. Maybe it’s just because it’s cute thinking of a girl as mean and regal as Diamond Tiara in love with someone. Would the person she’s dating be lucky or unlucky to have her? Again, though, you quickly remember that she’s the one buying you an expensive outfit and immediately change your perspective to fit her personality more accurately.
“Well, what’s your type?” you ask as she picks out another beautiful dress.
“Someone cute? I dunno. I’ve never exactly been in love before. I just want someone who genuinely likes me for who I am.”
“Really? I find it kinda hard to believe that none of your offers have liked you for who you are.”
“That’s just it!” Suddenly, she lets go of the dress and looks up at you angrily. “Nobody really likes me. They just like the idea of me. They think they’ll feel better about themselves if they go out with me, just because I’m supposed to be the Princess of Ponyville and dating me will automatically boost their popularity. They don’t care about who I am as a person. Actually, I kinda want something gold. Silver Spoon’s probably going to come wearing something pink tonight anyway.”
You suddenly realize that your mouth is open in awe and quickly close it before she notices and makes fun of you. You had no idea that ten year olds could be this deep, but then again, this stuff was probably just common knowledge for Diamond Tiara. She is the one who has to live through it all, after all.
“Have you found any that you like?” she continues, bringing your head back down to the real world.
“I like all of these, to be honest.”
“Ugh. You’re such a peasant. Here.” She then pulls five dresses off of the rack in front of her like it’s second nature and tosses them into your hands. “Go try those on and see which one you like best.”
You hesitantly look at all the dresses she collected before searching for a dressing room, but Diamond Tiara immediately pushes you on the back towards a curtained-off room, not giving you any time to argue. To be fair, all of the selections she picked out are lovely to say the least, each one carrying its own personal style with it that somehow fits a different piece of your personality. Tight, but not flashy. Modest, but still beautiful. Plus, each one is a color that you probably would have picked out yourself if given the opportunity. Had she really figured you out better than you know yourself, or is she just that good at knowing what styles fit you best?
“Chop chop!” she says just outside the dressing room. “Don’t forget, we still have to get our hair and nails done after this! Aloe is only here until three o’clock today, so we have to be quick if we want to catch her in time.”
Everything she’s doing is so overwhelming, but you can’t help but smile. You’ve never been pampered like this by your friends before, and the fact that she’s being so pushy about it takes away the feeling of inadequacy, like you don’t deserve the things she’s giving you. Somehow, by being mean, she actually makes you feel important… or maybe it’s just because you look a-freaking-mazing in this cyan dress.
You then open up the curtain to the dressing room, revealing your new outfit with a bright smile beaming from cheek to cheek. “How do I look?”
Finally, for the first time all day, Diamond Tiara smiles. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
It’s chilly in Ponyville, but that doesn’t stop both you and Diamond Tiara from wearing fabulous dresses with perfectly curled hair and shining nails as you both enter into the lobby of the party. Fortunately, you never actually got back to Pinkie Pie when she asked you to come to this party two weeks ago, so you never had the opportunity to tell her no, which no doubt would have left a line of questioning now that you’re actually here. All eyes seem to fall onto the two of you once you walk into the main hall, making you feel both exhilaration from the attention as well as an unquenchable nervousness that makes your hands tremble. To be fair, you’ve never looked this pretty in your life, so you’re allowed to feel at least a little self conscious.
Diamond Tiara, on the other hand, is on an entirely different level of beauty. She doesn’t need to do anything but get dressed to look pretty on her own, but once she adds the dress, the perfectly-styled hair and a little touch of makeup around her eyes, her image projects perfection. You can’t tell if standing next to her makes you look prettier or if it has the opposite effect, but either way, you’re doing your best not to think about it so you can just enjoy the party. This is a Pinkie Pie party, after all, so there has to be a chocolate fountain somewhere around here!
“Come on, Anon,” your friend says, grabbing you by the wrist. “Let’s go schmooze a little bit.”
Who is a ten year old going to schmooze with? Her mom? You suddenly realize, though, that she’s leading you to a group of her friends from school, including a girl with a red bow, a girl with short purple hair, and you’re pretty sure that last one is Rarity’s little sister. The weirdest part, though, is that they’re all just super normal kids. Does Diamond Tiara really have friends from all different walks of life? You should have realized this sooner, but have you secretly been judging Diamond Tiara’s character, like just because she’s rich she’s somehow above everybody? After all the time you’ve spent with her, you can’t help but feel more and more impressed with how grown up she is for her age… or maybe just how immature you are for your age.
“Howdy, girls!” the girl with the bow says loudly once the two of you arrive. “Who’s yer friend, Diamond Tiara?”
“Girls,” she says, presenting you like you’re a fabulous prize, “I’d like you to meet my friend Anon.”
“Oooooo!”
Sweet Celestia this is so embarrassing.
“Nice to meet you,” you say, trying to smile, which Diamond Tiara must obviously notice.
“She’s shy around people she’s never met. Go easy on her.”
“I know you!” Rarity’s sister says with a smile of her own. “You’re my sister’s friend, aren’t you? Why aren’t you here with her?”
Because you had planned on blowing tonight off anyway.
“Sorry, Sweetie Belle, but she’s with me tonight.”
“Why?” the short-haired girl asks. “Isn’t she a little old to be hanging around with us?”
You wonder how many times that’s gonna happen tonight.
“That’s no way to talk, Scoots!” the girl in the bow says, coming to your defense. “It don’t matter how old she is. If she’s a friend of Diamond Tiara, she’s a friend of ours!”
A fifth grader is saving you from another fifth grader. Why did you think coming here would be a good idea, again?
“Anyway,” Diamond Tiara continues, “we just wanted to come by and say hi. I’m actually feeling famished right now. Aren’t you, Anon?”
What does that word mean again? Like hungry or something? “Uh, yeah!” you say, just in case.
“It’s settled, then. We’re going to go to the punch bowl. It’s been a pleasure, ladies!”
The other girls wave the two of you off as you make your way over to the punch bowl, which is situated along a table covered in cups, plates and fine hors d'oeuvres. You have a hard time imagining that Pinkie Pie was the one who found the catering for this, but you suddenly see the chocolate fountain on the other end of the table and decide not to question it further. As Diamond Tiara grabs a small plate and throws two tiny snack-sized sandwiches on top, you quickly grab a cup and fill it with punch, looking around for any treats that might not offend your taste buds as much as the foreign seafood.
Then after grabbing some unknown entrée, the two of you find a nice table right next to the window where the two of you can see the full moon shining brilliantly over all of Equestria. It’s so beautiful, but the moment you look over at Diamond Tiara to share your thoughts, your mind goes blank at how the light of the moon hits her face perfectly to where she almost sparkles. Your breath catches in your chest, your jaw dropping ever so slightly until she finally looks back at you, pulling your mind back to reality.
“So!” you begin, breathing at a speed you hope is normal. “Who did you wanna schmooze with next?”
“Honestly, I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit. I was the one who brought you with me, after all.”
And without her, you would have never come.
“OK. What did you wanna talk about?”
“You know how you were surprised that I was single earlier today?” she asks, to which you nod. “Well, how come you’re still single?”
A small smirk shows up on your face. “And what makes you think I’m single?”
“You came to a New Year’s Eve party with a ten year old. Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”
Crap. She has you figured out on that one. “Well… I guess I’m like you. I’ve just been waiting for the right person.”
“And what does that person look like?”
“Cute.” Your answer makes the two of you giggle before you give her an actual answer. “I don’t really know, to be honest. I want someone who’s straightforward, confident, treats me like I’m important, enjoys spending time with me.”
“You mean someone like me?”
*Thump, thump!*
“H-huh?”
Your heart starts beating faster, making your chest visibly rise from how quick your breathing got all of a sudden, but Diamond Tiara doesn’t seem to notice as she rests her chin onto the back of her wrist, staring at you with her deep blue eyes. Your jaw drops slightly as you try to wrap your mind around what she said, unable to come up with any words to rebuttal with. Now that she mentioned it, she’s totally right, but she can’t be! She’s just a kid! It doesn’t matter that even though she’s rude and impatient on the outside, she’s a sweet, kind, loyal, honest person whose more beautiful than the noonday sun--SWEET CELESTIA! What are you thinking?!
Before you can overthink too much, however, she starts giggling loudly, no doubt bringing some unwanted stares over to your direction. “I’m just kidding, Anon. Could you imagine how weird that would be?”
She’s right. It would be weird. No reason to think about it any further. She would never fall for a girl like you anyway.
“Yeah,” you say, faking a smile. “Totally.”
“I mean, we’re both girls! Have you ever seen two girls kiss before?”
You blink twice before your thinking is completely turned around. “Hang on! Are you saying that it’s not the age thing?”
Once you ask the question, though, Diamond Tiara tilts her head in confusion. “Huh? Of course not! I’m so tired of people thinking that I’m stupid just because I’m a kid. I’m allowed to have feelings too, you know!”
No. Don’t even think about it! She already said it would be weird anyway!
But… she’s so… perfect. She’s literally everything you’ve always dreamed of, and even though you only met her yesterday, you can’t help the feeling in your chest from burning up your entire body. You don’t want to feel these things, you want to throw them away and never experience them again, but the whole day, you’ve felt like maybe when you’re with her, you can be perfect too.
“Diamond Tiara?”
“Hmm? What is it, Anon?”
“Do…” You look down at the table where the two of you are sitting. “Do you think I’m pretty?”
You immediately regret the question as soon as it comes out of your mouth, which is only made worse by the fact that now she’s giggling again, making your cheeks burn a bright red.
“Of course I do!” You quickly look up, waiting for her to say she’s joking again, but to your surprise, she just smiles even wider. “I hope I look as pretty as you one day. I’m actually a little jealous.”
“Of what?!” She flinches slightly from your outburst, but you don’t regret your question or the tone you asked it in. “Seriously, Diamond Tiara! You’re the most perfect human being on the face of the planet! What else could you possibly want?!”
Diamond Tiara looks almost traumatized from your question, her eyes wide and her mouth agape until her face contorts into the scowl you’re used to as she turns her head away. “Nevermind. I don’t know why I said anything. You’re just like everyone else. You all think I’m so perfect, like I don’t have any flaws, and you know what? It pisses me off! Just because I wear cute clothes and get to style my hair and nails doesn’t mean I don’t have problems too, you know! Ugh. Why do I even bother…?” She then gets up from her seat, ready to walk away, but before she can take even her first step, you urgently grab her by the wrist. “Hey! What gives?! Let go of me!”
“Hang on! That’s not what I meant!”
The pink-haired girl’s scowl disappears, replaced with a curious stare as she takes her seat again, crossing her legs and folding her arms as her suspicious eyes look you over. “Go on.”
“What I mean is…” You bite your lip. Are you really going through with this? “What I mean is… you’re perfect to me.”
Diamond Tiara’s suspicious look quickly turns into one of confusion, shock even, with her eyes growing wide and her lower lip trembling. “Wait a second… What do you mean perfect to you?”
“It means what it sounds like.” At this point, you gulp, looking straight into her eyes even though you want to look down at your feet. “I like you Diamond Tiara.”
She takes several moments to speak, her mouth still wide open as she wraps her head around the bombshell you just dropped on her.
“When you say like, do you mean…?”
“Yeah… I like you like you…” Again, silence. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all. “I’m sorry. This must sound so weird right now.”
“Then don’t be weird about it!” Her answer catches you off guard. You expected her to run away at this point, but she’s still folding her arms with her knees crossed. “But…” she continues, “even though we’re both girls… you still like me?”
“I guess I’m just now realizing it, but yeah.” And now for the question you really don’t want to ask. “Do you… like me back?”
Before she can answer, though, you hear someone shouting from across the room. “It’s time everybody! Ten… Nine…”
The two of you look into each other’s eyes.
“...Eight…”
Her lips are trembling.
“...Seven…”
She looks down at her feet, breaking her folded arms and crossed legs with her hands down on her lap.
“...Six…”
“Anon?”
“...Five…”
“Yes?”
“...Four…”
“Can I tell you something?”
“THREE!”
Now you’re the one trembling.
“TWO!”
“...Yes?”
“ONE!”
Suddenly, your eyes go wide.
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
The minute the clock strikes twelve, you feel a small pair of lips kissing your cheek, making your face burn despite the chilly winter air. You can’t think, can’t comprehend what’s going on in this moment. Once the people start cheering, though, you see Diamond Tiara pulling away from your face, grinning wide with her cheeks probably just as red as yours. You probably look ridiculous right now, but she still looks as pretty and adorable as ever.
“Maybe…” she says, putting her hand to her mouth as she giggles quietly. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind being weird for once, if it means being weird with you.”
Just like you said. She’s absolutely perfect.
Author's Note
Happy new year, everyone!
