Graveyard Shift: MLP Edition
Celestia’s sun was almost below the skyline over the small village known as Ponyville. If we look over there at Ponyville’s prime daylight eatery, Sugarcube Corner, its almost closing time, which would be right about-
“Now!” Trixie said happily as she flipped the sign. “8:00! So long, suckers! There’s a hot show tonight and it’ll be performed by the one and only….GREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRIIIXXXIIIEE!” The mare was brought back down by a pony knocking on the door. “What?”
“Are you open?”
“Read the sign.” Trixie pointed at the sign.
“I’ll have a strawberry muffin deluxe and a milkshake on the side.”
“No, you won't! Trixie can't hang out here all night! She’s got a life.”
“Well, fine, if you don't want my money!” The customer complained.
“Money?!” Somepony shouted cheerfully before the owner, Mr. Filthy Rich, landed on top of Trixie. “You mean, if we stayed open later, you'd give us your money?”
“Sure!” The pony said as he and a few others pulled out their bits. That was all Mr. Rich needed to hear.
“Ms. Trixie, welcome to the night shift.” The stallion said as he ripped up the closed sign. “From now on, Sugarcube Corner is open 24 hours a day.”
“What!?” The crowd barged through the doors and stampeded over Trixie as Pinkie looked on.
“Wow! Now we never have to stop working!” The mare said happily as Trixie got back up.
“Mr. Rich you cant be serious!”
“See you in the morning girls! I cant stay here all night, I got a life!”
“Mr. Rich!”
“Isn't this great, Trixie?! Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours and then the sun'll come up and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working!” The pink pony gasped. “It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered with sugar!” Pinkie hopped onto the counter. “Are you ready to rock, Trixie?!”
“No.” Trixie said, defeated.
“Good! 'Cause we've got customers!” The pink pony hopped to the back as a customer walked up to the counter. Trixie surprised the pony by handing him a bat.
“Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.”
“Pst, Trixie. I'm working in the kitchen, haha, at night!”
“Don't hold back.” Trixie said to the customer said as she removed her hat and placed her head onto the counter.
“Hey, Trixie. Guess what? I'm chopping lettuce...at night.” Pinkie went into the bathroom and began cleaning it. “Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom...at night.” The pony went back into the kitchen and tried to remove a pan from the oven. “Ow!!!! I burned my hoof!...at night. Much to Trixie annoyance the pony began dancing on the counter. “Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-na-night! Night!”
“Will you please?! Here!” The magician shoved a bag of trash to Pinkie. “Give Trixie a moment's peace and take out the trash!”
“All right! Taking out the trash. Taking out the trash...at ni-“ Pinkie came skidding to a stop at the door and looked out nervously. “You mean outside?”
“That's where the dumpster is, yes.”
“I don't know Trixie, it's kinda dark out there.”
“But I thought you liked the night shift.” Trixie taunted with a smirk. Pinkie put on a determined look.
“You're right! For Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie declared, holding the bag over her head. Then screaming and flailing wildly the mare ran out into the night to the dumpster. Throwing the bag into the dumpster Pinkie ran back into the bakery, panting deeply until she stomped her hoof down with a confident smile. “Peace of cake.”
“So you're not afraid?” Trixie asked as Pinkie walked by.
“Pfft, nah.”
“Well Trixie is….. especially after, “Trixie looked around nervously. “well, you know.” Pinkie rotated in place.
“What? What do I know?”
“You don't remember? It was all over the news.”
“Tell me, tell me!”
“No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you.” Trixie said sympathetically, before smiling slyly.
“What happened, what happened, what happened!?” Pinkie asked excitedly.
“You mean you've never heard the story of the-“ Trixie paused to think. "Hash-Slinging Slasher?" Pinkie stopped being excited.
“The Slash-Bringing Hasher?”
“The Hash-Slinging Slasher!”
“The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging, The Flash-Springing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging, uh?” Trixie didn’t look amuse anymore.
“Yes. The Hash-Slinging Slasher. But, most ponies just call him The Ha---” Trixie broke into a scream. “because that's all they have time to say before he gets them!”
“Tell me the story!” Pinkie begged, on edge.
“Years ago at this very restaurant, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a baker- just like you - only clumsier.” Pinkie’s pupils shrank. “And then, one night, when he was working with the baking equipment ...it happened.
“He forgot the secret dough?”
“No.”
“He didn't wash his hooves?”
“No!”
“Irregular portions?”
“No! He cut off his own hand by mistake.” Trixie said, making a cutting motion across her hoof.”
“You mean like this?” Pinkie proceeded to pull her leg off, only for another to pop into place, much to Trixies surprise. “Or like this? Or this? Or this?” Pinkie’s legs were beginning to pile up. “But what about this? Or this, or this, or this, or...”
“Except he wasn’t you Pinkie Pie!” The pony stopped.
“So?”
“So it didn’t grow back!”
“OH NO!!!!!” All the legs extended upwards in terror and bounced away.
“And he replaced his hand with a rusty measuring cup. And then, as he left he got hit by the train! And...at his funeral, they fired him!” Pinkie was fully invested into the story. “So now, every...what day is it?”
“Tuesday.”
“Tuesday night, his ghost returns to Sugarcube Corner to wreak his horrible vengeance.” Trixie said in a low voice. Pinkie gasped in terror.
“But tonight's Tuesday night!”
“Then he’ll be coming…..”
“How will we know?”
“There are three signs that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher. First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next...”
“Hey, can I have some frosting?” A customer asked.
“Oh, here you go.” Trixie handed the pony what he desired. “Next, the phone will ring and there will be nopony there.” Pinkie was nervously chewing on the tips of her hooves. “And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the train that ran him over.” Pinkie started shivering. “Then he exits the train and crosses the street without looking both ways because he's already dead!” Pinkie’s teeth started to chatter. “Then he taps on the window with his grizzly measuring cup hoof.”
“No!”
“He opens the door.” Trixie imitated the door opening. “He slowly approaches the counter...and you know what he does next?” The mare asked menacingly.
“What?”
“You really want to know?”
“What?”
“Are you sure you want to know?”
“What, what, what does he do?!” Trixie snuck behind Pinkie and tapped her shoulder.
“He gets you!” Pinkie began screaming repeatedly as Trixie broke out in hysterical laugher.
“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!” Trixie finally stopped laughing, and grew annoyed at the screaming.
“Pinkie.”
“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”
“Pinkie Trixie was-“
“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”
“Trixe was ju-“
“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”
“Pinkie I was joking!!!!” The mare finally stopped screaming.
“What?”
“It’s not true! None of it is!”
“It isn’t?”
“Of course not. Nopony has a measuring cup for a hoof! It was a joke!” Trixie said, crossing her front legs.
“Ohhhhh.” Then Pinkie began laughing, much like she was screaming a moment ago, annoying the magician even more.
Several hours would pass before the flow of night customers came to a stop. Trixie was looking through a magic magazine just to entertain herself. Suddenly she heard a strange sound, but she simply shrugged it off. A few moments of silence before she heard it again. Out of curiosity she looked for it when she heard it again. Now spooked she couldn’t find the source, failing to see Pinkie on the ceiling with suction cups, mopping away.
“Isnt this great Trixie?” The mare in question jumped as Pinkie scared her. “There’s no time to clean the ceiling during the day!” Trixie growled annoyed.
“Open 24 hours, what a stupid idea! Who wants a baked good at 3 in the morning?!”
Meanwhile Derpy’s alarm clock woke her from her sleep.
“Oh boy! 3 AM!” The mare pulled back her blanket and began eating a muffin she got from Sugarcube Corner earlier.
“Just look at this place. It's like a ghost town in here!” Trixie crossed her hooves when the lights began to flicker. “Very funny, Pinkie.”
“What?” Pinkie asked as she came down from the ceiling.
"And the lights will flicker on and off." Just like the story. I get it.” Pinkie looked at her confused next to light switch. Trixie looked down below her at the only other light switch, now spooked and shocked.
“Hey Trixie, how are you doing that without using magic to move the switch?” Pinkie asked amused.
“Trixie isn’t doing this. It must be the stupid, faulty wiring in here. This place wasn’t build to run 24 hours a day.” Trixie was cut off by the phone ringing. “What, what…hello? Hello? Hello?”
“Nice try Trixie.” Pinkie said with a smirk.
“Nice try what?”
“The phone will ring, and there will be nopony there” Pinkie giggled. “You crack me up.” Trixie looked at the phone nervously.
“Pinkie Trixie isn’t doing this!” The mare hung the phone up. “Ok Trixie, calm down. Deep breaths. What was it now? First the lights,” The lights began to flicker. “then the phone,” The phone rang. “and then, the walls would ooze green slime!” Trixie said in terror as the green substance oozed out, but the mare stopped. “No, wait, they always do that. But what was that third thing?” The mares pupils shrank as the train whistle rang out as a train came pulling into the station.
“I didn’t know the trains ran this late.”
“They don’t…..”
“Well someponys getting out.” A pony stood in the fog, only their spooky outline being seen before the figure raised a measuring cup. Trixie screamed out in terror as her hat fell off.
“The Sash-Ringing! Flash-Singing! The Bash-Pinging...”
“The Hash-Slinging Slasher!” Pinkie began to cry, covering her face.
“At last you understand! We're doomed!”
“No, that's not it.” Pinkie wiped her tears away. “I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble to dress up as a ghostly baker and stand on the other side of the street, just to entertain me! You must really like me!” Pinkie began to cry again as the figure slowly walked towards the building.
“Pinkie, there are two problems with your theory. One - Trixie hates you. And two - how can that be me when she’s standing right here!?” The pony tapped on the door with the measuring cup. Pinkie screamed out in terror as she and Trixie clung to each other.
“The Hash-Slinging Slasher!!!!!!” The door opened as the figure walked in to the two screaming mares.
“No! Get away! Get away!”
“He’s gonna bake me!”
“Go!”
“Pinkie…no matter what Trixie’s said….I’ve always sorta liked you…” Trixie admitted as she shook in fear.
“Trixie I’ve used your hat to unclog my toilet!”
“What?” The mare asked with a look. The two ponies held each other with their eyes closed as the pony finally walked to the counter in the light, and it wasn’t who they expected.
“Can I have a job application?” Snails asked. “I brought my own measuring cup. I called earlier, but hung up because I was nervous.”
“Do you have references?” Pinkie asked cheerfully.
“Wait! If that was you on the phone and you on the train…then who was flickering the lights?” Trixie asked. The three looked confused as the lights began to flicker again, until they fund the source. On the far side of the bakery a black and white humanoid vampire was flickering the lights.
“Nosferatu!” The three ponies said, smirking at the figure, who simply smiled.