Filthy Frank saves Equestria

by Sanya

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Suicide / Self Harm, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Lyra, Princess Luna
Length: 1908

Filthy Frank vs. Equestria, but much better

Filthy Frank saves Equestria is a sequel to Filthy Frank vs. Equestria that no one asked for (except one guy in the comments). It takes all good things that prequel had and doudles it!

-1 * 2 = -2

That means: two times more grammar/spelling errors, unfunny jokes, 'very good' plot and a lot more.

Published 2020-01-05 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-05 23:30:01 UTC

Filthy Frank saves Equestria

Author's Note

This sequel exists only because some guy in the comments asked for it.

Also this is the most fucked up shit I've ever written.

Enjoy.

Filthy Frank saves Equestria

DECEMBER 30, 2019 New York

Several days have passed since Filthy Frank and Pink Guy went to the Horseland. And the only reason this asshole still thought about Equestria was: 'What if that pink pony had Dead Ringer'.

"Fuck! Like really what if that pink pony had Dead Ringer and already told the police or even worse the goverment that some weird guys destroyed Sugarcube Corner with a bomb and killed a lot of ponies there."

"Mom, can we go away from that creepy guy?" asked little girl.

"Maybe discussing weird shit in public transport wasn't good idea... But I don't give a fuck"

DECEMBER 30, 2019 Filthy Frank Inc.

"Hey, Pink Guy!" Papa Franku called Pink Guy.

"Ey b0ss" was the only thing that he said.

"We need to go to Equestria to check if that pink pony is still alive."

"yey b0ss"

"Fuck You."

After that they walked through awaiting portal and they once again went to Equestria.

still DECEMBER 30, 2019 but Horseland

When they teleported they saw an army of unicorns in front of them.

"We where expecting you Mr. Filthy Frank"

"Wat" is the only thing that Frank before he was knocked out by a spell.

DECEMBER 30, LOCATION UNKNOWN

Filthy Frank was woken up by very very bright light. First thing that he noticed is that he was in a grey room tied to chair... naked. Next to him lied Pink Guy. But unlike him he was in his pink costume.

"Oh, what the fuck? Where am I? And why am I naked" asked Frank.

"I am the only one who ask questions here." said somepony from shadows clearly faking deep voice.

"Fuck you littlr pink shit! I knew that you had Dead Ringer from TF2"

"How did you know that it was me?" she asked.

"I have eyes"

"Silence!" said new voice "Pinkie get out. We want to talk to this man alone."

"Okie dokie lokie!" said Ponk. After that she left the room.

"Dr. Francis of the Filth why did you murdered fifteen ponies?" asked Luna.

"I was bored, but that's not the point. Why am I naked? And why isn't pink guy naked too?" he asked.

"Well we thought that you were the main threat and we decided to make sure that you have no weapons. As for the Pink Gu-" Luna's speech was interrupted by gunshot.

"No one can threat ma b0ss!" said Pink Guy.

"Omg thanks Pink Guy. That bitch was really pissing me off" said Papa Franku. "Wait a second that wasn't Luna... it was Fake Frank all along! I knew that we haven't defeated Chin-Chin and his army! Pink Guy quick we must stop Chin Chin and his armh!"

"Ey b0ss!"

With that said they headed out of room. Also Filthy Frank already forgot that he was naked. Not that he cared much.

"This is definitely going to my Pink Guy x Filthy Frank yaoi fanfic." said mint coated unicorn mare and written something in her notepad.

"What the actual motherfucking fuck was that?" asked Frank.

"Oh, I'm just writing some fanfic. Nothing interesting to see here" she said stil not noticing who she's talking to.

"And who's this fic about?"

"Filthy Frank and Pink Guy. You can remember them from than recent Ponyville accident. Also why are you so interested in what I'm do-" finally she decided to see who's she was talking to.

Her face immediately lit bright red.

"Franku-senpai? Is that you?" she asked.

"Yes it's me Papa Franku." he answered. "Now fuck off we have some important buisness!

"Can I suck your dick?" she asked.

"Hell no"

"Pretty please?"

"Pink Guy, killdatmaderfukingthot"

"Wat???" asked Pink Guy.

"Just shoot her"

"ey b0ss!" said Pink Guy, but this weird unicorn was nowhere to be seen.

"What the fuck is wrong with ponies nowadays?" Frank asked.

"Maybe you sh0uld put some clothes ey b0ss?" Pink Guy suggested.

"Good idea" said Filthy Frank.

"Hey you!" b0ss shouted to some random pony. "Give me all your money and clothes!"

"But I don't wear clothes" said random pony.

"THEN GIVE ME YOUR SKIN"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA" shouted random pony and ran away leaving a shitton of money.

"Well, that was easy." said Papa Franku. "Let's go shopping!" after that the autism team went to the nearby store. So they went to Carousel Boutique. Outside boutique was a sign that said 'closed', but that didn't stop Frank from knocking the door out.

"Hello is anyone here?" asked Filthy Frank.

"Yes, but we are closed. Haven't you seen the sign?" said white unicorn.

"Can I have some clothes?"

"I think I've already mentioned that we are-" she was interrupted by Filthy Frank

"If you don't give me clothes my friend will shoot your brains out with a shotgun."

"Not so fast! You can't kill me if I kill me myself." said Rarity throwing molotov cocktail.

"Ight imma head out" said Filthy Frank.

"Wait you are not supposed to do that! You are supposed to save me and after that I'll give you your clothes!" unicorn said.

"Oh hell no! I would better keep walking around town naked." after Filthy Frank said that he and Pink Guy headed out of burning building.

"Well this was fucked up, but we still haven't solved our main problem: Chin-Chin is still alive and we still haven't found him!"

"Maybi he's hidding in the capital?" suggested Pink Guy.

"But where is the capital?" asked Frank.

"Perhaps s0meone in the library know since only smort peeple going to the librari"

"It's the first time you've suggested good idea." said Frank.

"ey b0ss!" cheered Pink Guy.

"Fuck you" said Papa Franku.

Filthy Frank and Pink Guy walked around the town for 30 minutes and they still couldn't find the library. Also they've started to see that they haven't met anypony after that mint-colored unicorn.

"Fuck where is this fucking library!" shouted Filthy Frank.

"So you want to find library" someone said from the shadows.

"Um.. Yeah?"

"Then turn left and you'll see a giant tree it's a library."

"Oh thank you kind stranger."

"No problem"

After that he followed kind stranger's directions Frank finally found the library.

"Hello is there anyone here?" asked Filthy Frank in the library.

"Yes, what do you want?" asked Twilgiht.

"What's Equestrian capital and how to get there?"

"Canterlot, you can get there by train." egghead answered.

"Thanks"

"No problem, but knock on the door next time"

With that knowledge Pink Guy and Filthy Frank headed to the nearest trainstation. Good thing is that after 30 minutes of walking around the town Papa Franku knew where the trainstation was. When they got to the trainstation the only thing they found was single train.

"So how are we going to buy tickets"

"Can't we just get on the train, ey b0ss?"

"What a wonderful idea!"

One hour after ride to Canterlot

"Well this sure would boring if you haven't brought these uno cards" said retarded guy.

"yee b0ss"

"Now let's find and kill Chin-Chin"

"Not so fast, motherfuckers!" said Fake Papa Franku. "To kill The Dark Lord you need to kill me first!"

"Is it cool right now to use Dead Ringer" Filthy Frank asked Fake Frank.

"No, I'm just the one who use it" answered Fake Frank.

"Pussy" said Filthy Frank

"What did you say to me little bitch?" asked Fake Frank.

"Prove that you are not a pussy and fight like a real man without Dead Ringer"

"So be it" said Fake Frank tossing Dead Ringer away. "Now let's fi-" before Fake Frank had a chance to finish the sentence Filthy Frank shot him with a shotgun.

"At least he didn't die as a pussy" said Filthy Frank holding up his right hand to pay respects. "Now let's kill Chin-Chin once and for all"

"yas ma b0ss"

After that they headed in direction of Canterlot's castle. They knew that this mission could be their last mission.

DECEMBER 30, 2019 Canterlot castle

"Hey asshole!" Filthy Frank called Chin-Chin.

"And what do we have here?" asked Chin-Chin turning around "Filthy Frank and Pink Guy haven't seen you in a while"

"No, Chin-Chin we are here not to give away our chromosomes. We are here to kill you." said Filthy Frank.

"I know. That's why I trapped both princesses in the basement. And btw why are you here when you could just go back home?" asked Chin-Chin.

"You have a point, but the author of this fic named it Filthy Frank saves Equestria. Not do weird shit in Equestria" answered Filthy Frank.

"Wait isn't story titled Filthy Frank completely Destroys Equestri?"

"Nah, not anymore. The faggot who wrote this fic don't even know what he's writing. He changes his mind like every 5 seconds."

"That make sense. But let's get to the point and kill each other." said Creepy guy.

"LET'S FIGHT!" shouted shouted Filthy Frank.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees" shoted Pink Guy.

But suddenly they've came to realisation that they wasn't prepared to fight Chin-Chin. The only thing they had is uno cards. That's it! UNO CARDS! I will use uno reverse card on him! That's a genius idea, Frank! But before The pussy lord had an opportunity to use it Chin-Chin used his spell to stun Papa Franku.

"That was stuppid of you to come here unprepared and also naked. Goodbye, Filthy Frank and Pink Guy" Chin-Chin said charging a verg powerful spell that'll destroy them.

"No, not Senpai-Franku!" Lyra shouted breaking through the window with a gun.

"What the fuck?" asked Chin-Chin.

"No one except me can't harm my love! But I wouldn't do that anyway!" she said pointing gun at Chin-Chin.

"My little horsey, you are forgetting something... I'm immune to bullets"

"I know. I brought gun to look cooler. But my real weapon is this... This is 25TB hard drive that contains ~1000 hours of 4K ultra HD 3D animated in SFM yaoi hentai starring you, Chin-Chin and Fake Frank. And if you asking how would I use it as a weapon I've got an answer for you... Wait where did Chin-Chin go?"

"He said something about moving out of this world and commiting suicide" answered Filthy Frank.

"Then do you want to have secks?" asked Lyra blushing.

"Hell no. I want to have secks with you as much as I want to watch furry porn"

"Aw" Lyra said sadly.

DECEMBER 31, 2019 Canterlot castle

Today was very important day for Filthy Frank and Pink Guy. Since today is the day when the ruler of Equestria will reward them for their ~~stupidity~~ bravery to defeat Chin-Chin and saving Equestria.

Later at Canterlot

"And now as for the reason for today's rewarding!" loudly announces Celestia. "Please welcome: Filthy Frank and Pink Guy!"

The audience cheered as they walked to Celestia.

"As a reward for saving Equestria I the ruler of Equestria give back your clothes."

"Finally!" said Papa Franku.

"As for you Pink Guy.. I have present for you too. It's all five of your five chromosomes that Chin-Chin has stolen from you."

"0h thank$$"

After that weird duo went to club to flex with famous Ricardo Milos. They flexed all night until they relised that it's already 6th of january so they sll went home.

The end

(hopefully)