Author's Note
Hello everyone, Sir_RedFox here to bring a whole new story. Now I know the show has ended, but that doesn't the stories have. This whole new story I'm hoping will bring a good laugh and just lots of fun, for those reading. Right, now I'm posting it with a "Teen" rating, but based on how the story goes, It might be bumped up to a "Mature" rating. So enjoy and don't forget to leave a review. Thank you.
- Sir_RedFox
Prologue
The sun rises, and all of Equestria is basked in the morning lights of dawn. At the very center of Equestria was the town of Ponyville. Here, where the Princess of Friendship resides in her castle and the School of Friendship. As the sun's rays shined on the school clock tower, the bell was struck six times. This helped signal to everyone that happens to be on campus that classes would begin within two hours.
As always, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, and Head Mare for the School of Friendship were up and early. She sits on the big high back chair in the teachers' lounge, waiting for her friends to arrive. Twilight had several books into the air with her magic and circling the books around her. Such magic to her was all too easy.
The huge double-wide doors of the lounge open. It was the first of Twilight's friends to arrive. It was Fluttershy, the sweet and kind pegasus, with her yellow coat and pink mane. Her wings were expanded outward and held several different woodland critters. There were chipmunks, robins and blue jays, Forrest mice, and sitting on her back was her devil in disguise pet rabbit, Angel. The next two ponies to enter were honest earth pony, AppleJack, and loyal pegasus, Rainbow Dash. The two ponies were both bickering at each other as they entered the lounge. Next was the dashing, yet generous, white unicorn with a purple mane, Rarity. The last of them all was the powerful lavender color unicorn, Starlight Glimmer.
"Hey Starlight," Rainbow Dash spoke up to Starlight. "Why is it that you're always the last one to get here in the morning?" Dash asked. "I only ask, based on the fact that you live in Twilight's castle, which is only... What? Three hundred feet from the school?"
"What?!?" Starlight said in disbelief. "I use whatever time I have to make sure that I look my best and ready to take on the day. Besides, Pinkie Pie isn't here. Maybe you should be interrogating her?"
The moment Starlight finished those words, one of the high arch windows in the teachers' lounge shattered. Flying in, was a massive speeding pink ball. Bouncing everywhere, from the floor to the ceiling, to the side of the wall and back to the ceiling. The fast-moving pink ball comes to a halt, landing on the opposite side of the couch.. The pink ball stretches out on the sofa, revealing to be the over-hyped earth pony, Pinkie Pie.
"I did it!" Pinkie Pie screams in excitement. "I did it! I have perfected the best and fastest way for a pony to travel from point A to point B. By crafting a slingshot type device with the use of untested devices that Trixie sold to me. Just a few more practice runs, and every pony in Equestria will want one. Wouldn't you say so?"
Every pony in the room turn their heads to the side. Hoping to not really answer Pinkie Pie's question. Not even Apple Jack wanted to crush her spirits by telling the truth.
Shrugging off Pinkie Pie's comment, Twilight was the first to speak up. "Well, now that every pony is here..."
"Wait, what about Spike," Starlight Glimmer speaks up. "Who also lives in Twilight's castle, which is only three hundred feet from the school," Starlight says, mocking Rainbow Dash's comment earlier.
"We were told late last night that the Princess might be sending Spike a letter of great importance," said Twilight. "Why he had to stay in the castle for such news, I have no idea. But, for now, I'm interested in catching up and seeing if anybody has any new information to share?"
Pinkie Pie raises her hoof, hoping Twilight to pick her. But, the only thing that Pinkie Pie had to share was more about her destructive transportation device, which every pony in the room quickly dismissed. Apple Jack bragged on about how Sweet Apple Archers has produced the best apples for the season, which was nothing new. The same with Rainbow Dash bragging about being a Wonderbolt, and that the next class field trip should be for the students to come to see her perform. Every-pony couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at how egotistical Rainbow Dash was coming off. Rarity talked about new ideas for her clothing line for her store. Starlight Glimmer, as the school's guidance counselor, told every pony in the room that she came up with a new way to help individual students, by using what's called 'puppet therapy.' Thought, saying it out loud to every pony, sounded a little too childish.
"Fluttershy," Twilight said, wanting to get the shy pegasus to be involved in the conversation. "You've been pretty quiet. Anything special happening that you would like to share?"
"Well..." Fluttershy started to say before her cheeks started to blush red. "You all probably don't know, because we've thought best the fewer ponies and creatures know the better. But, I and Discord have been going..." Fluttershy stops to clear her throat. The last word seemed hard to get out. "Steady."
"Called it!" shouted out Pinkie Pie. Apple Jack, with a broad smile, lefts up her hoof up at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash had a disgruntled look and started digging into her saddlebag to retrieve a hoof full of bits, which she poured into Apple Jack's open hoof.
"Wow," said Twilight, wanting to sound supportive of Fluttershy. "That's great. The two of you, together. I hope the best for you and..." felt too hard to say the Lord of Chaos's name. "Discord."
"Uh," Fluttershy started to say. "It's actually a little more than that," she said. Fluttershy pushes back part of her pink mane that covered her neck to reveal an engagement ring strung around her neck.
"Now that, I did not see coming," Pinkie Pie comment loudly. Like Pinkie Pie, the rest of the ponies had similar shocked expressions.
"Now, I know what you're all probably thinking," said Fluttershy. "But you don't know Discord like I do. He's funny, kind, and does things he would never do, but does out of respect for me."
"Well," Twilight said in a nervous tone. "If this is what you really want, then I hope for the best of you two."
"Oh yes," said Fluttershy. "Over the next few days, I'll be moving in with Discord and his dimension. He says he's already on remodeling his house into a castle. One that will feel perfect for the both of us, and a few creature friends. Isn't that right, Angel Bunny?" A top Fluttershy's head, Angel Bunny, stuck out his tongue and made several gagging sounds as if the whole thing made him sick.
"Well," Twilight said, "classes are about to start. Unless some pony else has any important thing to share, then we will dismiss." Every pony stood, sat, or flapped right where they were. Not saying a single thing. "Well then," Twilight said. "Consider this meeting, dismis-"
The double-wide doors to the teacher's lounge burst open. Spike, Twilight's personal dragon assistant, rushes in, clutching a scroll in his dragon claws. "Twilight..." Spike said, sounding out of breath from running to find her, huffing and puffing. He holds the scroll over his head. "A letter," he says. "A letter from Princess Celestia and Luna, with great urgency." Spike still sounded severely out of breath. "Letter. Princesses. You. Read. Important. Now."
Using her magic, Twilight grabs the scroll from Spike. Unrolling the scroll and having it hoover in front of her face. It reads:
Dear Twilight,
Luna and I have received some exciting news. Prince Bilbo Thornhill, after his long adventures, has decided to return to Equestria. Though he seeks an audience with my sister and me, we are unavailable to oblige him at the current time.
However, we suggested he stay in your castle, while also seeking to enlighten the students at your school? Though Prince Thornhill might be a bit rough around the edges, he is a very powerful and intelligent pony. It will take some time for him to adjust to the town of Ponyville, something that you are well aware of, since first being sent to Ponyville. Also, the small sutile town of Ponyville and its inhabitants will probably be the best place for him to adjust being back after his long adventurous journey.
Prince Bilbo Thornhill will be arriving at your School of Friendship tomorrow around one in the afternoon.
We hope that this way, he will be able to take in the greatness of your school and find comfort in your castle.
We wish you, your friends, and your students the best at his arrival.
Yours Truly,
Princess Celestia and Luna.
Twilight smiled, reading the letter. A noble prince, to bass in the greatness of her school and students. Though, she's never recalled ever hearing about a Prince Bilbo Thornhill? A princess must know all of Equestria's diplomatic alliance with all the surrounding areas. Prince Ruffurfered from Yakyakastain. Dragon Lord Amber from the Dragon Lands and Princess Novo, who rules over the hippogriffs and sea ponies as only a few. But, Prince Thornhill rings no bell to her mind.
The letter states that the prince is a pony and returning to Equestria. But, from what part does he hail from, and where has he been on his adventures?
This changes everything. She'll have to draw up a new schedule chart for her students. That way, all will be present at Prince Thornhill's arrival.
There was something written at the bottom of the scroll. Hard to believe she would miss something so important.
PS:
It is probably for the best to inform you that Prince Thornhill is mine and Princess Luna's brother.
She had to reread that bottom description over several times. Making sure what she read was true. Brother, she thought. Since when did Princess Celestia and Luna ever have a brother?
Author's Note
Yeah, I'm back. Probably forgot all about me. I've been writing several things at once so I've been moving at a slow process. Anyway, This chapter is all about Prince Thornhilll's first day at The School of Friendship. Oh, for those that are wondering, this story takes place between season 8 and 9.
Chapter 2
Princess Twilight, strutting down one of the hallways of her castle. On her way to wake up the new guest staying at her place, Prince Thornhill. The events of yesterday evening did not go as planned. With the Prince showing up three hours late, mildly drunk, having rude manners, and of course turning out to be an alicorn.
An alicorn? How? The question kept running through her mind. How can a stallion like him possible be an alicorn? Twilight has read every book in the library on alicorns and there has never been record of a male alicorn.
But today was a new day. The Prince should be well rested and sober. Sure once he gets to his classroom and starts teaching the students the value of friendships he's made on his travels, things will start to smooth out.
She entered the guest room that housed Prince Thornhill. The room was too dark. She bumped into anything in front of her. From her unicorn horn Twilight admitted a purple glow to help guide her. She squinted upon the closed drapes. With her magic, Twilight throws the curtains open letting the sun light blast into the room.
"Good morning Prince Thornhill!" Twilight said in a loud cheery voice. "I hope you had a wells night of sleep, because rows of students are waiting for your lecture today!"
Twilight turns around to confront the sleeping stallion, only to find more than one pony spread naked across the king-size bed. Two naked fouls on each side of Prince Thornhill. One pony blue with a pink mane and the other pink with a blue mane. Prince Thornhill was a sleep face down with his wings spread across the bed. The naked fouls open their eyes to find Twilight Sparkle starring at them gasped. They give a frill scream and quickly grab Thornhill's wings to cover there nude breast. They were the two spa ponies, Lotus Bloom and Aloe.
"What?!?" Thornhill called out in a drunken haze. "What?!? What is it?!?" Thornhill grunted as if in pain. "Glasses" he demanded. His sun blinder glasses that help conceal his eyes from every pony, sitting on the corner edge of the nightstand. "Glasses!" he demanded again from one of the spa ponies.
The one closest to the pair of glasses grabs them with her muzzle and leans back down to give to Thornhill. Twilight notices the glow from his horn. From where Thornhill was on the bed, he threw at Twilight what seem to be a large-heavy-black tie-on blindfold. Thornhill popped his head up, glasses on, to find Twilight staring at him.
"Ah Princess Twilight," Thornhill said. "I would like you to meet..." he said showcasing his hoof to the spa pony on his left. "Uhhhhh..." He mumbles at trying to remember her name. He rolls over to the other naked spa pony. "Actually her name is... It is on the tip of my tongue, give me a minute."
"Oh, for Celestia's sake. I know who these ponies are," Twilight said in an objective tone. "They're the two ponies that work at the spa. What I'm trying to understand is why they are naked in my castle and in the bed I provided for you."
"And for that bed we are grateful for," said Thornhill. He got out of bed and stretched far and wide as far as his body and wings would go , while also exposing every bit of his privates to Princess Twilight who covered her eyes to not gander at the prince. "Because," Thornhill continued his story. "If it wasn't for the bed, trying to pull off sex position number thirteen and forty-two would have been impossible to pull off. Probably be covered in bruises."
Twilight glances over at the two spa ponies. "You two," Twilight said, loud in an authoritative voice. "Grab your cloths and leave, Now!" The two spa ponies did as they were commanded. Grabbing every piece of their clothing and heading to the door way. Before Lotus Bloom left, she turned to Princess Twilight to ask if she would still like to keep schedule for this afternoon. Now was not the time for such silly questions. "Out! Now!" Twilight fired back.
Thornhill used his unicorn magic to cover his body in a red silk robe. He goes over to a pile of different labeled booze and trifles through them. He picks one, making it glow white with bright yellow dots. Thornhill looks at the bottle and gives a little scruff sound. "Guess this will have to do," Thornhill said, raising the bottle for all to gander at. The label read, Peach Gin. "Besides its morning. I need some nutrition," Thornhill says in a drunk haze. "After all, I'm still a growing boy." He popped the top off of the bottle and started chugging the entire bottle.
He stopped half-way, smacking his lips, and looking at the label. "Wow," Thornhill said, sound a bit unimpressed. "You can really taste the handpicked and squeezed artificial peach flavor among the gin." Thornhill walks out on to the balcony in his room, magically carrying the bottle of peach gin alongside him.
"Good to see Celestia doing her job." It was hard to tell with his thick black glasses on, but he looked up and squinted at the sun. From one of the pockets of his robe, he pulled a pack of cigarettes and slid one from the box to his lips. He rapped his hoof across his horn till sparks caught his hoof on fire. Putting his hoof to the cigarette making it sparkle and start to smolder and burn.
"Listen, Prince, Thornhill," Twilight said, standing her ground with a stern tone. "As long as you are staying in my castle you will not, be bringing any pony here without my knowledge to act out some relationship."
"Woah woah woah" Thornhill said. "Relationship?" sounding surprised. "I just met them last night. Don't exactly think they're ready for me to meet their pony folks, as one might say."
"You know what I mean" Twilight said.
"Okay, okay. If I bring someone over for a night cap, I'll make sure you are fully notified," Thornhill said. "Maybe even you would like to join in the fun?" He gavea big grin and chuckle before taking another swig of the Peach Gin.
"NO!" Twilight screamed at him. Her wings at full spread, looking like she was going to attack. Her horn started humming and glowing a pink radiance.
Thornhill threw his front hooves up to calm Twilight down. "Hold up love, hold up" Thornhill said. "I'm not one of those jack off ponies that doesn't realize 'no' means 'no.'" He curves his hoof towards himself and moves it from side to side, to paint the imagery of some pony jacking off.
Twilight lets out a loud 'sigh.' "Prince Thornhill. I am asking you to prepare your self for your class today. By which I mean: dress, try to sober up, look presentable in front of the students, and grab some breakfast in the dining hall."
"Swell plan," Thornhill said. "Always best to start the day off with a glass of Vitamin C. Perhaps in the form of a chilled screwdriver, or better yet, a nice morning mimosa to fizzle your brain straight."
Twilight gave a loud annoyed grunt at his comment. "How about some regular orange juice," Twilight said, after slamming her hoof against her head. "You know," Twilight said with annoyed sass. "A beverage without the alcohol."
"I don't know," Thornhill said with heavy sarcasm in his voice. "I feel like the sudden consumption stop of alcohol might kill me?"
"Well there's only one way to find out. So, I want you ready, for the day, NOW!"
Thornhill gave a loud sigh and told Twilight in a passive aggressive tone that he will do as she commands. He walked over to the balcony and stood on his back hooves and leaned against the balcony railing, with his front hooves and his crotch facing outward. Twilight knew she was going to regret asking, but could not stop herself. "I'm sorry, but what are you doing?" she asked.
"Nothing," Thornhill replied. Watching Thornhill from the back Twilight saw as a steady yellow stream shot off the balcony. "Okay," Thornhill said. "Now I'm doing something."
Twilight gave a loud angry grunt and stomped her way out of Thornhill's room. Using her magic, she slammed the door behind her. She stopped to take in a few deep breaths to calm herself down. 'For Equestria's sake,' she thought. 'Please let this work.'
The school clock bell tower chimed eight times. Pony students and a few creatures: dragons, changelings, yaks, griffons, and hippogriffs, or are they sea ponies now, running down the hallways of friendship to their classes. Prince Thornhill, with his black duster and thick shaded ocular glasses takes his time getting to his class.
Opening the door to his classroom, every pony was seated and chattering out loud to each other. Seeing Prince Thornhill in the door way, every pony quieted down and sat in their seats.
Thornhill hung his duster onto a coat rack. Now, every creature can lay their eyes upon his ugly ponwaiian t-shirt, ugly black hat with his horn pierced through, and cutie mark of a black hole sucking in a sun's light along with a few planets. His ocular shades with the blinders stayed on.
He marched in front of his desk and glancing back and forth at all his, 'students' he guessed was the word. He let his bottom lean on the front top of the desk. "Morning... ugh... class..." It was all so new and weird for him, never teaching a class before. "I'm your professor, Thornhill, and this is..." He scanned the room. What was it exactly he was supposed to be teaching these young ponies? On the billboard, written, what was probably another helpful guide for him by Headmare Twilight. Thornhill read the words out loud. "Friendship and it's relations throughout ones travels around the world."
What the Fuck, Thornhill thought. To hell with teaching all that. That sounded like a lot of work. Thornhill had a better idea instead.
"Okay, who here brought their lunch with them." An odd question to answer. All the ponies looked at each other, afraid to answer, believing this to be a trick question. Finally, one brave pony slowly raised his hoof int the air. "You," Thornhill said thrusting his hoof at the young pony. "You. You brought your lunch?
The pony nodded. The pony was a light shade green and the image of a diner on his flank. "The name is Monk Field, Sir." The pony tried hard not to stutter but speak as clearly.
"If you brought your lunch, lets take a look at it."
The earth pony held up his tin lunch box. The lunch box was the same shade of green that he was. Thornhill used his magic to lift the box out of the pony's hooves and hovers to him. He opened the lunch box and examined its contents.
"Let's see... you got juice, very dry hay cookies, some celery." He pulled out a Six-foot-long sub. "Okay now we're talking." Thornhill unraveled the wrapping the sandwich was in and it hover above the class. The sub, beautiful with it was perfect sliced and placed veggies. Thornhill brought it down and took a large bite out of the sub.
"Okay class, this is how things are going to work. Right now, you all have a 'B' average grade in this class. Everyone except my friend Monk Field, who now has the only 'A' grade in the class." Thornhill went chewing the sandwich. "Because that's how friendship really works. Help get one pony, eh creature, something in exchange for that pony or creature to helping you get something." Thornhill took another bite out of the sub. "Example," speaking out to the class. "I was hungry. Field gave me his sandwich. And I gave him a solid A, and..." Thornhill stopped talking. He levitated the trash can off the ground and placed it in front of his face. He spat the particle eaten sub into the trash can. Opening up the sub, he picked out the cucumbers and tossed them into the trash. "Cucumbers!?!" sounding as if he had been betrayed. "'A minus.' Still, that's a higher grade than the rest of the glass. So, that's how friendship works, any questions? Nope? Good. Helping get me something, in exchange for 'A' plus grades; or tattle-tale on me to any other professor, say the headmare, and you get a lower grade. The choice is yours."
Thornhill looked at the clock on the wall. "We've been in here for ten minutes? That's longer than I had planned. I might actually be a good teacher. That's class every pony, creature, whatever, enjoy the rest of the day."
Thornhill walked to his coat and magically pulled out his flask to take a huge gulp from it. He put his black duster on and stepped out of the class room. He remembered seeing a couch in the teachers lounge. That seemed like the right spot to finish his sub and drink his scotch.
The Mane Six would later find Thornhill Passed out on the teachers lounge couch. Loud snores came out from his mouth. Bread crumbs covered his mouth, neck, and chest. His flask with the image of the clashing sun and moon was uncorked and about to slip from his left hoof.
Rarity, Apple-Jack, Rainbow-Dash, Pinkie-Pie, Starlight, Spike, Twilight, and Fluttershy all stood in a semi-circle and watched the Royal prince sleep. Watching as his chest rose and fell with every loud snore. Drool started to drip down the side of his mouth.
"Ugh" Rarity said with disgust. "How long do we actually have to keep watching this?"
"Um, I don't want to be that pony," came flutter shy, whose voice was soft and quiet.
Rainbow-Dash flew over and hovered above Prince Thornhill. She took in a huge gulp of air and shouted out at the prince. "Wake-up!" Rainbow-Dash shouted.
The Prince woke up. In a quick motion, he dropped his flask and put his front hooves together and pushed up. A beam of white light shot out from his horn, blasting Rainbow-Dash away. He scans the room and sees twilight and her with friends giving him disgruntled looks. "Sorry about that. Reflexes, and all that jazz" Thornhill said. "During my travels, I've always had to put myself on a high alert for my own safety."
Looking at all the faces watching him in the room, he could tell that they were not amused. "What? What's wrong?" Brushing the bread crumbs from his chest and mouth, he leaned down and picked up the flask that emptied out when he dropped it. He muttered a swear word or two under his breath at the empty containment.
"Oh we just came to find out how the new professor for the School of Friendship is doing," Twilight said.
"And apparently a couple of students is all up in heehaw heaven that all have to do for 'their' new professor is bring him a sandwich," Apple-Jack said.
"Well they're not wrong, technically. Though I suppose they all have 'C's for ratting on me. Well, all except for that pony named Field. He still gave me a sandwich, so I have to give him a "B" average."
"But, that's not how friendship works."
"What? Are you shitting me? That's exactly how it works. They gave something to me, and I gave them good grades."
"What's wrong with you?" Spike spoke up. "Can you take this seriously for one second?"
Thornhill scratched the bottom of his chin pondering the question. "hmmm" he said. "I don't see how I possibly can."
Rarity stepped forward. "Alright, listen here mister. I don't care if you are brother to two of the greatest princess of Equestria. You are in the company of Twilight's school and a guest at her castle. So the least you can do is be grateful toward her and a little gracious when she asks you to do something."
Thornhill rubbed the temple of his forehead. "Can we please pick back up on this later? My buzz starting to go down."
"Have you tried, I don't know; going a day without a drink?" Rainbow-Dash asked.
"If you knew my sisters like I do, you'd be drinking just as much." Thornhill pushes back pitch black sunglasses with the blinders.
"And thats another thing," Rarity said, taking a step forward. "Will you please take off those ridiculous glasses? At least while inside."
Rarity flung out her hoof to knock Prince Thornhills glasses away. Her hoof caught the rim of the glasses, and they started to lift off of Thornhill's head, when a blast of white light came from Thornhill's horn. The blast was so bright and powerful, it blew every pony backward. The glass windows shattered. Books, blown off the shelves, furniture flipped over, and the chandelier swung back and forth.
The mane six, including Starlight and Spike, picked themselves off the ground. In the center of the room, Prince Thornhill frantically searched the floor. His wings were fully expanded out and his eyes closed and hinden with one of his hooves.
"Where are they? Where are they?" He said, searching the floor of the teacher's lounge with one hoof covering his eyes. Spike found what the prince was looking for, Thornhill's black tinted blinder glasses. He handed the glasses down towards Thornhill, who felt them with hoof. With a little magic the glasses levitated and placed back on Thornhill's head, hiding his eyes.
He stood back up and dusted himself off. Looking around at the other ponies who were still recovering from the blasting spell he preformed. Looking at the pony known as Rarity. Thornhill marched right up to her. "Now look," he said. "I'm not one for making up any god-damn rules and I'm sure as hell not one to follow them. But if there is one fucking rule for you to know about me, it is to never take my Goddamn glasses from me, ever. You all got that?!?"
Everyone in the room nodded their heads in agreement. Prince Thornhill turned around and exited the teacher lounge. Everyone left in the room looking bewildered at each other. Not knowing what that exactly was that had just happened.
