Vintavia Scralody Season 3

Cranky Doodle Donkey is in his office. He plays Jingle Bells on a xylophone. “No no, too Christmasy.” Plays Happy Birthday. “Too birthday-ish.” Plays the Funeral March. “Too morbid!” Plays the MLP end credits theme. “Ah, that will do.”

Cranky plays the Theme again, and his voice is heard on the intercom in the cafeteria. “Attention everypony! We are being joined by a new student today. Now, he’s previously been homeschooled, so he is bound to be a little self-conscious about his possible bizarre behavior…” Hayseed hears this and looks up at the Intercom confused. “...or total lack of social skills. We should not stare at him.” Everyone in the cafeteria stares. “Point,” Garble points at him. “Or draw attention to him, in any way. So, will Hayseed Turnip please come to my office.” Speaks to himself. “Actually... I probably should have just said that last bit, oh well, never mind, just style it out, Cranky.” The MLP End Credits Theme is played again.

********

Vinyl and Octavia are walking along a school hallway.

“Homeschooling sounds great! You’d be the most popular kid in school.” Octavia complemented.

“Yeah, and when you think about it, the least popular kid in school.” Said Vinyl.

“Remember when we tried to homeschool each other?” Said the cellist

Flashback to the pair homeschooling each other.

“Seventy-eight plus thirty-nine plus fourteen plus sixty-two plus fifty-one is?” Said Vinyl writing on a chalkboard at their house.

“244.” Octavia answered.

“Correct.” Vinyl grinned.

Flashback ends.

“Yeah. I’m sure it wouldn’t be easy considering we’d be at home fooling around.” Vinyl complemented.

Just then, Mr. Doodle opens his door. “Ah, girls, if I might have a quick word.” He whispers. “It’s the new boy, I don’t understand a single word he’s saying.”

“Maybe it’s slang.” Vinyl theorized.

“Ah, Yes, slang, Which of course is also slang. For slanguage.” Cranky thought.

“Well, I can see why you came to us. You want a pair of mares down with the streets, just a couple of cool dudes who were so confident with their fashion choices, they haven’t changed their looks in 10 years.” Said Vinyl as she and Octavia regain cool postures while wearing their sunglasses.

“I was gonna suggest fresh, but yeah, cool sounds good.” Said the cellist.

“Anyway, he’s your problem now.” Cranky places Hayseed outside the room. “So, just show Hayseed around, I have some very important school work to attend to.” He closes his Door.

Music from the xylophone can be heard again.

“So Peter, what do you wanna do first?” Asked Vinyl.

“Well, wherever I'm cool, lunch over the canteen there the locker the hunger sandwich and maybe some ketchup?” Hayseed replied.

Vinyl and Octavia make confused faces, not knowing what he just said.

********

The three are at the cafeteria. The Blue Danube plays during this scene and throughout the montage of confusion.

“Is school nice to be on in, maybe lots of maybe people here. Is the fun always on, or is the fun not?” Said the brown mane stallion.

“Uh, sorry I didn’t quite catch that, one more time?” Said the DJ sheepishly.

“Ha ha ha, what I was I said-”

The montage begins.

“Excuse me?” Said Vinyl.

“Sorry, could you repeat that please?” Said Octavia.

“Uh, wh-what?” Said Vinyl.

“Run that by me again?” Said Octavia.

“Could you maybe spell that for me?” Said Vinyl.

“Say what?” Said Octavia.

A little slower? Said Vinyl.

“Huh?” Said Octavia.

“Wha-” Said Vinyl.

“What now?” Said Octavia.

“I beg your pardo-” Said Vinyl.

“Er…” Said Octavia.

“Whaa-” Said Vinyl.

“Errr-” Said Octavia.

“Uhhh-” Said Vinyl.

“Wait!” Said Octavia.

“I-” Said Vinyl.

“No.” Said Octavia.

“I-” Said Vinyl.

“Erm.” Said Octavia.

“Hurrrrr-” Said Vinyl.

As the montage ends the three were already at the basketball court outside.

“I think I got it! Are you saying you wanna grease a stanking leopard at the hacky-sack convention?” Octavia asked.

“I was saying just now, there too much of it.” Hayseed chuckles. “Am I right?”

Awkward pause as they glance at each other and then back at Hayseed.

“Are wes frienyclose?” He asked.

“Uh…” Vinyl and Octavia hoof bumps him and Hayseed tries to shake their hooves, but they keep switching between a hoof bump and a hoof shake.

“Catch a catch?” Short pause, then he walks away quickly.

Vinyl talks to her marefriend. “Babe, I have no-”

Hayseed comes back to them. “Everyboth, catch a potato!” He leaves again.

Vinyl takes a deep breath. “Okay, it’s been two days now and I have no idea what that guy is saying. And there is no way we can ask him to repeat himself again!”

“Me neither, I highly doubt he’s like any of us.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“You just play back what he’s been saying, and listen to it.”

“How?”

Octavia pulls out a recorder. “I’ve been holding a recorder this whole time!”

“Um, Tavi? I don’t wanna ruin the moment, but you might wanna take a closer look.”

Octavia does so and it’s revealed that she forgot to put in batteries. “Dang it.” She said deadpan.

“Why don’t we just smile at him and nod along to whatever it is he’s saying?” The DJ suggested.

“Well that wouldn’t be honest with him or ourselves. But, on the plus side, it is the easiest way out of things. I’m in.”

They duo walk off.

********

Vinyl and Octavia are at their house, playing the video game: Rise of Tirek when the doorbell rings. They answer it, and they notice a familiar face.

“Hey guys, I mean I’m here just wanna play this now?” Hayseed holds up a video game: Tirek’s revenge.

The two mares nod nervously as he comes in and sits between them on the couch playing..

“And if you skip one little fight that’s all you need to go.” Said the male pony. Vinyl and Octavia are laying on both sides of the couch bored. In the game, the character he is playing is not moving as he pauses the game, goes to a map and fights another opponent. “Ah I get the winner before! Never just life lost the first.” They both nod.

Hayseed is outside their door again holding Stellar Odyssey IV. “Okay so it’s been all three two movies on TV, but now it’s time for four!” He said cheerfully as the pair nod nervously again.

Hayseed is putting together a puzzle of Stellar Odyssey IV while Vinyl and Octavia kneel there with their eyes red and their mouths open. “Course it’s keeping in coordinate the first side and then the edge and- the edge-piece corner, which is triple picture because down the box.” They nod again.

Hayseed his showing them pictures of coins in a book in the school library, flipping through the pages. “Piece, piece, ah you! Uh- can I believe it? A coin of history. Golden brown.” They both nod. They have very large forced smiles that their gums are showing.

“If my smile gets any bigger, I’ll bankrupt myself on toothpaste.” Said Octavia to Vinyl.

“That’s nothing. I’ve been nodding so much I’ve developed a six-pack. Here.” Vinyl urns around and shows Octavia a six pack at the back of her neck. “I say we get out of here before my neck gets scouted for a football scholarship. Besides, I’ve been clawing a hole in the floor with my pencil.”

“So we can escape?”

“Yup.” Vinyl nodded.

********

At the front of the school, Vinyl climbs out of a manhole with her fur wet and messy. Octavia then comes out after with the same results.

“I feel kind of bad, Vinyl.”

“Yeah, even though we just crawled through twenty feet of sewage water, that’s not what’s making us feel dirty.”

“Yeah, he’s new and he only wanted to make friends. We should go back.”

“Okay, But no more smiling and nodding and agreeing to stuff we don’t understand.” Octavia looks at her marefriend blankly. “That’s the spirit!”

As they began to lift the manhole cover, a red truck arrives and stops at the school entrance.

“Oh, hello! You must be Vinyl and Octavia!” Said a mare by the name of Pear Buttercup.

“Huh, oh yeah, hi. You must be Hayseed’s parents.” Vinyl said sheepishly.

“Oh, he’s mentioned us?” Buttercup asked.

Vinyl and Octavia glance at each other before one of them could respond.

“Probably.” Octavia replied.

“We are so thrilled that Hayseed’s finally found some friends that speak the same language.” Said Buttercup thrilled.

“We do?” Said Octavia with an eyebrow raised.

“And he’s so excited that you said you’re up for coming along tonight.” Said a stallion by the name of Bright Mac.

“We did?” Vinyl said with an eyebrow raised.

“I mean, I’m not surprised, you guys are inseparable these days. What is it you call yourselves? Uhh... not The Three Musketeers, no, uh... something like, The Three Amigos? Uh...ah, cheesecakes, what is it, sweetheart?” Said Bright Mac.

Buttercup presses the bridge of her nose. “Hayseed’s saying it all the time. The Three- uh-”

Octavia buds in. “The Three...Guys?”

Bright Mac and Buttercup pauses for a moment. “That’s it!” The laugh.

“Ah, he's one funny fella, hey?” Said Buttercup to her husband.

“Oh, he's...definitely got a way with words!” Vinyl laughed nervously.

Just then, Hayseed catches up to the duo. “Buddies! After the time in meeting!”

“Oh, honey, you're the one that's late! Your buddies were on time!” Said Buttercup.

“Of course! Doctor told me the seconds. For mistakes!” Said the son.

“Hey, don't worry. We totally understand.” Octavia grinned sheepishly.

“We do?” Vinyl whispered to the cellist.

“Well, you comin' or what?” Said the mother.

The pair look at each other and laugh nervously.

“Ahh, here we go again.” Said Vinyl to Octavia.

********

Vinyl, Octavia, Hayseed, Buttercup, and Bright Mac are all in the car together.

“So, what's your head size? Let's see.” Buttercup points at Octavia. “Okay, so that's one small. “She points at Vinyl. “And one extra-extra-extra-extra-extra large.”

The duo glare at her but she didn’t look back.

“Why do you think they brought us with them.” Vinyl asked.

“Maybe It must be Hayseed’s birthday! Oh, but we haven't got him anything.” Octavia replied.

“I dunno, buddy. If we ever got him something it would at least stop him from acting weird.”

“True.”

“Okey-dokey, here we are!” Said Bright Mac cheerfully as they all arrive at the town hall.

The car swerves recklessly into a parking space but parks without a scratch.

Buttercup puts black beanies on Vinyl and Octavia's heads. “There you go!”

“Are these supposed to be party hats?” The Cellist questioned.

“Oh-ho, sweetie, they're not party hats!” Buttercup replied.

Bright Mac, Buttercup, and Hayseed put on black ski masks and get out of the car. Startling Vinyl and Octavia, who turn around and watch them from the back window.

“Who'd hold a kid's party at the town hall?” Octavia said worriedly.

“I don't know, babe. Maybe instead of a clown tripping over his long shoes, it's a democratically elected official making long and administrative errands?” Vinyl theorized, rubbing the back of Octavia’s head softly to calm her down.

Bright Mac hoists Buttercup up into a window. She opens it and whistles for Hayseed, who throws her a grenade. She pulls the pin out and throws it into the building, covering her ears when it explodes. They put on gas masks and everyone in the town hall runs out in a puff of smoke. They run in.

“Dude, I knew something was weird!” Octavia said suspiciously.

“It’s bad enough that they had to drag us in their car, but involving us in a crime is where I draw the line.” Vinyl agreed.

Hayseed grabs a grappling hook from the back of the car, swings it, and throws it at the town hall balcony. Buttercup grabs it and pulls it taut. She and Bright Mac zip line down.

“Well, we should have at least got them a card!” Said Octavia.

“Tavi, I don't think-”

They get interrupted when the family gets back into the car and they take off. They jerk to a halt, but keep pushing. The grappling hook on the back is pulling on a safe inside the building.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO--AAAAHHHHH!!!” Vinyl and Octavia screamed while trying to sing.

They break the wall and the safe breaks through, dragging behind the car. They recklessly drive through the streets, destroying carriages with the safe. Vinyl and Octavia hold each other and scream all the while. They pass by the Sheriff's car.

“This one's mine!” The Sheriff Smashes his coffee cup in the side of the window, leaving a stain. “Ah, I coulda sworn that window was open.” He blares the siren and drives after them.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” Vinyl shouted in fear.

“Oh! I thought Hayseed explained all this to you!” Said Buttercup cheerfully.

“Yeah, he might've, heh!” The DJ said sheepishly.

“Well, we know you girls share our views! Hayseed always saying how you agree with him on practically everything!” Said the pale female mare.

“About WHAT?!” Octavia cried.

“About the government!” The mother replied.

“The government?!” The pair questioned.

“DAAAAHHHH!!! THE GOVERNMENT! Don't get me started on the government, with their endless forms and their right change!! GAAAHHH!!!” Buttercup screamed before going back into her cheerful tone. “Oh, it's the next left honey!” She said to Bright Mac.

They take a wide left turn, and the safe destroys a hot dog stand. A piece of paper lands on the owners face. They take a right turn, and the safe destroys some scaffolding on the side of a building. Another paper lands in the hand of a construction worker. They keep straight, and more papers fly out behind them. One lands in the Hobo's hands.

“Eviction notice? Ah, come on! I don't even have a house!” The hobo crumples it and throws it away. Another one lands on his face. “Littering?! Aaahh!!” He groaned.

The family and Vinyl and Octavia are still recklessly driving.

“But what did the-AAAHHH!!!!-What did the government ever do to you?!” Vinyl cried.

“Always telling us what to do and what not to do!! You can't take your son out of school, you can't teach him at home, you can't teach him how to speak!! DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN'T TEACH MY OWN SON HOW TO SPEAK PROPERLY??!!!” Bright Mac screamed.

Vinyl and Octavia laugh awkwardly and nod while holding each other in fear.

“I'm glad you guys share our views!” He said cheerfully.

“Vinyl, I’m scared!” Exclaimed the cellist.

“Me too, buddy.” Replied the DJ.

They kept hugging each other while the others keep driving, they have been chased by the police all the way to Appleloosa. They screech to a halt right at the edge of a cliff and get out.

“Okay, so I've removed the license plates, put the fake ones on, wiped everything down for prints, and...I found some candies in the glove box! Who wants one?” Said Buttercup cheerfully.

“FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA!! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL US WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!! And yes, we will be having one of those candies.” Said Vinyl.

“Once these records are destroyed, the people of Elmore will be able to live like we do!” Bright Mac grinned.

“Freely, without the GOVERNMENT!!!! telling them what to do!” Said Buttercup.

Just then, two police carriages pull up, sirens blaring.

“Step away from the vehicle!” Said the sheriff with the Megaphone.

“Are you telling me what to do?!” Bright Mac growled as he discreetly puts the car into drive.

“Yes! Step away!” The sheriff shouted.

“Whatever you say...Mate!” The father said smugly in a deep voice.

Bright Mac puts his hooves up and the car plummets down the cliff, taking the safe of records with it. It explodes behind the family as they pose smugly, while Vinyl and Octavia look at each other and cower in fear. The cops watch in disbelief as records fly around them.

“You're under arrest!” Said the sheriff.

Two cops handcuff Bright Mac and Buttercup. Hayseed looks down, defeated, until he gets an idea.

“Officers!” Hayseed called out as they all turn to look at him. “Please. Do not judge these actions in facts of one or both. Or all! But understand that is not the deed, or even the doer that is. For was Benjamin Hoofhington Abrams, who liberty said that they do but do not sometimes! And if so, two in the bush, and one left free stone. So I ask, please.” Bright Mac and Buttercup smile at each other. “My old lady, we found it's not them. It was society's. And no independences. But--for Canada!!”

As he finished his speech, Vinyl and Octavia look at each other gawked.

“I don't know what he's saying…” An officer takes off his hat. “...But it's beautiful!”

“Yeah... And I'll be jiggered if I'm writin' all that down for evidence, so you're off the hook!” The sheriff takes the handcuffs off of Bright Mac and Buttercup and gets in his car. “Cuz that's how the law works! Oh--and all those files you destroyed? They're on the internet anyway! Bye!”

As they drive off, the two mares gape at this.

Bright Mac and Buttercup exchange confused looks. “What on the flat earth is the internet?!”

“We’ll let Hayseed explain.” Said Vinyl as she nudges Hayseed forward.

And with that, the two mares run out.