The Mirror

Chapters

Glimpse
Walk
Breakfast
Lunch
Study
Keepsake
Poison
Mirror
Dinner

Glimpse

I tried to wrap my head around that. It didn't make any sense.

"But the princesses, they're immortal—!"

The caretaker shrugged. "They're still gone."

"But... how?!"

The stallion shrugged again and resumed eating. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and it had taken me this long to start to really understand it fully.

Some part of me was excited by the possibilities. I was free, after all; nopony was left who knew who I was, except, apparently, this 'caretaker'.

But most of me just felt... empty. Even if I ruled over the entire world, it wasn't like I could show off to anypony I knew. I couldn't lord it over Twilight Sparkle and her friends. I couldn't ever see any of my friends... if I'd still had any.

I sat down to eat, absently despite how hungry I was.

My head was swimming from the implications. On a deep-seated level, Equestria had come to expect its princesses would never go anywhere.

"Wait a second!"

I sprang up in my chair and fixed the caretaker with a firm glare. "You must be fibbing! Without the princesses, nopony could raise the sun or moon!"

The caretaker didn't even look up from his meal. His horn simply glowed, and the drapes came open.

What I saw put a feeling like a rock in my gut. The sun and moon were both visible, each on opposite sides of the horizon; the world was bathed in a perpetual twilight glow.

"N-no, no, no, NO! No way! Are, are you trying to tell me they've just been stuck like this?! For how long?!"

The caretaker shrugged again, but I slammed my hooves down on the table next to him.

"No, don't just give me that dumb shrug again! Tell me! How long has it been?!"

The caretaker rolled his eyes, as though it was the most pointless question he'd ever heard. "Who knows? Time has no meaning without day and night. Could have been a year or a thousand and it would still be the same."

I sank back into my chair. The sheer apathy he had... something about it really, really bothered me. It ticked me off!

"Well, you still know what day and night are, so it can't have been that long, right? I mean, it hasn't faded from all, like, all pony knowledge or whatever!"

The caretaker snorted in something like amusement, and that just ticked me off more. "I doubt you'll find other ponies who know the terms. I'm a bit more well-read than most."

I glared at him as best I could from down on my seat. "Well, if you're so well-read and know eeeeeverything about me, why did you free me, huh?"

He finished eating and lifted the dish from the table as he stood up, not even bothering to look at me. "I freed you to take care of you. It seemed like the right thing to do."

At that I actually laughed. "Oh, so you just wanted to take cawe of the pwecious widdle pony, is that it?! Well I'm not your daughter, and I'm not your toy!"

I heard his voice as he left the room. It was as deadpan as ever. "I know."

And then I was alone.

I don't do well on my own. My strength is in getting other ponies to do what I want them to do. And right now, I had no ponies.

Forget that stuffy old madpony! He said I can leave?! Well I'll leave! I'll find somepony who's more... I dunno, ALIVE!

I huffed and trotted angrily out of the dining room. I found myself in an ostentatious foyer, with checkered floors and a crimson carpet, complete with gold tassels. There were several tall doors, and an elaborate spiral staircase leading to a balcony overlooking the room. I snorted and trotted to the front door, pushing it open.

The bizarre purple and orange light of the world poured onto me. It wasn't as dark as night-time, but it was still a bit hard to see everything; colors seemed to be washed away under the perpetual late-sunset, and the dim light made my eyes struggle to adjust properly.

I growled at the stupid world with its stupid horseapple lighting.

Why would anypony let Equestria get to this point?! It's like nopony cares at all! They need somepony smart to start running this place!

As I stomped away from the mansion – passing by an elaborate garden and courtyard in the process – I came to the crest of a hill and glared down from it, only for my jaw to slacken.

I vaguely registered that I was looking at Ponyville – or what was once known as Ponyville – but it was as different as I could imagine. Gone were the buildings I recognized; instead, there were tall, angular stone buildings, dotted with windows, spreading out more than three times as far as Ponyville ever had. It took me a second to realize that the Everfree Forest was just... gone. Not even stumps left; it had been completely removed, and in its place were more of those ugly buildings. It all reminded me of Manehattan, but left out to rot for decades; I saw mold and stains under the windows from water damage, the streets – Ponyville had actual paved streets now! – were cracked and pocked and uneven, to the point that a dirt trail would have been preferable. Sweet Apple Acres was still there, but there was a lot of machinery there; it looked like someone had tried to mash up a science lab and a farm just for the absurdity of it.

That's when the reality of what had happened sunk in for me.

How long did they leave me a statue?! All of them, ALL OF THEM, Twilight, Starlight, Discord, Celestia, none of them cared at all! Not a single pony decided to free me for... how long has it been?! Centuries? Millenia?! They just left me out and... they forgot about me!

For a second I was torn between feeling devastated – at how reviled I must have been, at how utterly the world had rejected me, at everything I had lost and how miserable everything looked now – and sheer, white-hot rage.

I chose rage. I howled in anger and stomped the perfect, smooth pathway leading from the manor in fury.

This is so utterly, utterly unfair! First they cheat and beat us even when we had everything perfectly set up, and then they do THIS to me?! I just wish I could go back in time so I could hurt those stupid, STUPID ponies, and those other creatures, all of them! What in Tartarus were they thinking?! Leaving me and just forgetting about me?! Letting Equestria get like this?!

Despite myself, I laughed as a thought came to me.

Look, princesses! This is where Equestria ended up! Nothing you did mattered at all! It all went straight to Tartarus anyway!

I kept laughing, until my sides were aching and I had to lie down, gasping for air. I kept laughing until tears came to my eyes from the strain. I kept sobbing until I passed out.

Walk

I woke up in a cozy bed – no, seriously, once I'd gotten up I saw it was actually themed after me, Cozy. My colors, my cutie mark, all of it.

That weirdo caretaker sure went all-out. Whatever. I'm still not staying!

Once I'd shaken off my fatigue enough to remember passing out, and vaguely remember being carried back and tucked in, I set back out. I was determined to understand this freaky future I'd found myself in and do something with it, and that meant finding ponies who didn't know who I was, that I could manipulate and spoke without shrugging for five whole apple-picking minutes!

I was surprised to see the caretaker sitting in the foyer when I got there. He was sitting on a cushion and reading a book, puffing on a pipe. I was actually surprised to see him do anything that might be construed as 'fun', but there it was, I guess. I walked past him, and huffed at him as I passed.

"I'm going down to Ponyville!"

"Okay."

Argh! Nothing I say or do gets any kind of reaction! This guy is more stoic than Tirek!

I put him out of my mind as I trotted along. Once I got outside, I did my best to put on a friend-making face, and began my walk to Ponyville. It was a fairly short walk, and I saw ponies milling about.

Perfect! Now, I just need to come up with some kind of story...

That idea died as I got closer and started to get a better look at everything. This wasn't the hustle and bustle of a city like Manehattan; the ponies walked slowly, eyes downcast, expressions of apathy and sadness everywhere. I realized that several of those big buildings I'd seen from farther away were abandoned; boarded up and condemned, but even the boards and signs were rotting off.

The city had just left them there, not even bothering to tear them down and renew the neighborhood.

Seriously, who's in charge of this wreck?! This is completely unprofessional!

I trotted up to the first pony I saw who didn't seem too down in the dumps; he was leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette – I'd almost never seen one before, it took me a bit to realize what it even was – and was just staring out, looking bored. I'd intended to trot up to him with a classic filly-in-distress look, but I was so frazzled I just defaulted to cute-and-innocent.

"Golly, mister, do you think you could tell me some stuff? I'm kinda lost, y'see, and—"

"Piss off."

I recoiled, my ears burning. I'd gotten negative reactions before, but never anything even close to that!

"Err, sorry, but I just—"

"Don't care. Piss off."

"But sir, why would you turn away a little lost filly looking for directions?!"

He shrugged. "Why should I care about your problems? You going to pay me for directions?"

This wasn't going right at all! I was struggling to keep my temper under control, but something about his behavior was also really bothering me, throwing me off of my game. I grit my teeth.

"I don't have any money, sir, but you've gotta help me! And it costs you nothing to tell me how to get around!"

The stallion snorted and glared at me. Something about it seemed different from the usual kind of irritated-glare I'd seen before. This was more like...

Chrysalis. It's like how she glares at ponies. But what does that mean?

"I told you twice already, filly. Any more and you'll regret it."

I stammered, taking a step back. I could see it; he was serious. He fully intended to hurt me if I bothered him any more. I just couldn't believe it; I was tongue-tied and twisted up trying to even comprehend it.

Ultimately, I just quietly backed up a bit, and then flew off; I didn't want to stay in reach of him in case he decided twice was too much. I saw a pegasus mare sitting on a bench, and I flew over near here, hoping maybe being from the same tribe would help me win some sympathy.

"Miss, could you help? There was this pony over there threatening me, and—"

The mare sniffled, and I suddenly realized she had been crying. "I can't help you, filly. Just go away."

I stiffened. What in Equestria was going on with these ponies?

Why doesn't anypony... care?

I looked around, and I realized ponies were walking right past the mare and not so much as sparing her a glance while she was weeping.

I spent several more minutes trying to get somepony, anypony, to give me directions or help me understand what was going on. It just confirmed what I'd already started to figure out.

Nopony cared. The closest I got was a pony who worked for a local used-carriage shop, who put on a fake smile without much energy and happily gave me directions – to the carriage shop. I asked him for more help, and he said it was their policy to always help out customers, but I could tell how much he hated me for bothering him, and before long he didn't even hide it, demanding I run off so he could focus on real customers.

As I flew out of Ponyville, I paused to catch a conversation between that mare I'd spoken with and another one that sat with her. Apparently, her husband had divorced her and taken her foals and home, and her record made it impossible for her to do anything about it. The other mare pretended to care – I could spot fake concern, I was an expert at it after all – and found the first excuse to leave her now-penniless friend to her own devices.

I flew back to the mansion in a daze. I found the caretaker inside a study – a book-lined room that would have had Twilight Sparkle jumping for joy – and walked up to him, half-expecting the same hostile response as other ponies until I remembered how he acted. After a minute or two, he glanced up from reading behind his desk, staring at me over the reading glasses on the end of his snout.

"Do you need something, Cozy?"

"What's... what's wrong with everypony? It seems like nopony at all cares about... anything!"

The caretaker glanced aside in thought, his mouth twitching as he considered. "Well, they certainly care about themselves. Ponies put effort into survival, at least."

"But they don't care about each other at all!"

He shrugged at that. "Why should they?"

I worked my jaw opened and closed, and growled slightly, getting a raised eyebrow out of him for that.

"Uh, duuuhhhh, friendship is magic and happiness and rainbows or WHATEVER? Shouldn't all of the ponies out there be trying to make friends?"

The caretaker snorted and went back to reading as he answered. "Why, so they can manipulate their friends for their own ends or stab them in the back?"

"Uh, no, just because, like, friendship is a thing ponies do!"

He sighed. "I guess they got over it. I realize this is all new to you, but ponies these days are smarter than that; they know everypony is just out for themselves, so they're not going to let down their guard that easily."

I didn't have anything to say to that, and it just made me want to smash something anyway, so I just went back to my room and crawled into bed.

How can I manipulate anypony if all of those other ponies are doing it first?! How am I supposed to win?!

I rubbed my head to work down the growing headache, and decided to just leave it for tomorrow (presuming it was even 'night' right now). The last thing I thought as I fell to sleep was how lonely everything here felt.

Breakfast

When I woke up that morning, I took one look at the perpetual sunset and kicked my covers off of me angrily. I took a second to trample my bed for good measure.

Stupid ponies, stupid broken constant twilight, stupid broken Equestria, stupid, stupid!

I started to get a little tired, and with that came a wave of sorrow at realizing I had to live in this dump. And I just trampled the bed even more, hissing at it, driving the thoughts away.

NO! No, no, buck all of this, I won't end up in a dump like this! After everything I did I'm not going to give up!

Satisfied that I'd shown my mattress who was boss, I jumped down to the floor and strutted out of my room like I owned the place. I caught a scent that set my mouth watering, and it led me around to the dining room, where the caretaker was patiently reading a book in front of an uncovered dish of hashbrowns with mushrooms and hay bacon.

I spotted a covered dish in the same place as last time, and I made my way over to it in the same silly regal strut I'd seen Chrysalis show off once or twice. I hopped up into my seat and uncovered the dish, and tore into my food, also much in the same way I'd seen her do so.

I spared a glance to see what sort of reaction that got from the caretaker, but he was just quietly eating his own food and minding his own business.

OH COME ON!

I growled a bit and finished eating, wiping my mouth off with a napkin, and I just stared at him until he finished eating. That done, he leaned back, dabbed his mouth, and cleared his throat.

"Was there something you needed, Cozy?"

"Answers. I need answers, dangit!"

I fumed at him, and he slowly raised an eyebrow.

"Regarding?"

I huffed a second and gestured around me.

"The house is nice, but the neighborhood's a dump."

He blinked at that, but didn't respond otherwise. I grumbled a bit before continuing.

"What I'm saying is, there's nothing to do with this place! Everypony's a jerk, Ponyville's been run into the ground... how have the windigoes not devoured this place yet?!"

His eyes widened slightly in bland recognition.

"Ah, I see. Well, the windigoes perished when magic disappeared from Equestria at large. Only a few vestiges remain – one or two artifacts and ponies that escaped the change by some means or another. The occasional pony is born with magic, but it's quite rare, I'm afraid."

My jaw dropped.

"Magic is gone?!"

He nodded. "You won't meet another pegasus that can fly, in all likelihood. Though they're relatively uncommon in general, since most of them dropped out of the sky helplessly when magic disappeared, or so I've read."

I recoiled at that, trying to push the image out of my mind. I realized that all of the pegasi I had seen in town were walking around, same as anypony else... I'd thought that was by choice!

"Ugh, so this world is even more messed-up than I thought it was! Is that why the princesses are gone? Because their magic disappeared?"

The caretaker nodded, the ghost of something like a smile creeping onto his face.

"Yes, very good deduction, Cozy."

I grit my teeth, both at being treated like a child and at his lackadaisical attitude.

"Nothing about any of this is good."

He cocked his head at that. "My understanding was that you attempted to wipe out magic once in your own time, didn't you?"

I groaned, rubbing a hoof to my forehead. "Yes, technically, but I just did that so I could take Equestria over. Now I'm not in charge, and with Equestria this messed up, there isn't even anything worth ruling anymore!"

He actually chuckled at that! I was so surprised my fur stood on end. It was a deep, foreboding sound, coming from him.

"I know precisely what you mean. Rulership is a sucker's game, I feel. But I suppose our queen didn't realize it before she took over."

I seized on that, if only because I wanted to keep him talking.

"Queen? Queen who?"

"Ah, I have not brought you up to speed on that. We are ruled by Queen Pluteia, presently. After magic was nearly wiped out, there was a stallion who managed to find an artifact, a scepter, that still had power; he took over Equestria and ruled for a while, and since then it's been tradition – well, more likely necessity, really – that whichever pony has the scepter is in charge. Sometimes it's stolen, sometimes – rarely – it is simply handed over. Pluteia's been in charge for ten whole years; the longest stretch so far, I think."

The caretaker just shrugged nonchalantly, like he was discussing the most dry history he'd ever heard. Meanwhile my heart was racing.

A magic scepter that can rule all of Equestria! If I get my hooves on it...

I took another look outside, noticing the caretaker had left the window open this time and wondering if that was because he thought I preferred it.

I didn't.

"So... somepony has this magic scepter, and they're in charge, and what do they do?"

The caretaker stared at me dully for a couple of seconds.

"Well, they tell other ponies what to do."

"Like what, though?!"

He leaned back to think for a second. "Politics is not one of my interests. But the last command I recall was a building in Ponyville had to be demolished because it was 'ruining the view' from Canterlot."

I mentally connected a smooth, recently-demolished foundation I'd seen in Ponyville with a building that should have been there, but I voiced the question anyway.

"... What building?"

"Oh, there was a garish crystal castle here in town. Abandoned for as long as anypony can remember. It was protected as a historical site, but I think the queen felt insecure about there being another castle out there."

I should be happy it's gone. That was where those meddlesome ponies worked from! But...

But now there was one less thing for me to connect the place I saw to what I remembered of Ponyville. There was no map, no friendship quests, nopony would go around and make sure ponies got along.

Just another piece of this stupid country with its stupid government that's broken!

I huffed. "I bet she had no idea what she was even destroying."

The caretaker shrugged. I hated it when he did that. "Probably not."

I mentally backtracked and tried to find some kind of opening to latch onto.

"So this so-called queen, she doesn't even do anything to, like... run Equestria? Is that why this place is such a run-down dump?"

The caretaker glanced away and leaned left and right, as though tossing my assessment around in his head, and then nodded.

"More or less. Sometimes she'll command some ponies to work on something to keep the country going, keep the taxes coming in, but she's not really concerned with anypony else aside from that. Why would she be?"

I didn't even hide it when I grit my teeth this time.

"BE...CAUSE... IT'S HER JOB."

I took to the air as I flew off in a full-blown rant.

"I can get behind her being a tyrant, sure! I get that! I get that she wants all the benefits of being in charge, that's the whole point! But there's, like, a whole job that comes with it! You can't say you run something if you don't put in the work! When I took over Twilight's school I didn't just let it run itself! I, I mean obviously you can't do it all yourself, but that's why you get lots of ponies to be your friends and you share the load, but ponies are too stupid to run themselves, so they need a firm hoof in charge! COME ON! THIS. IS. BASIC. STUFF!"

I punctuated the last bit by landing on the table and stomping on it, which didn't seem to perturb the caretaker. Then again, nothing did. By the end I was huffing and staring at him, furious, and he was just placidly watching me, eyes partly lidded. He gave another shrug.

"What would she get out of that?"

I balked. "She'd get a functioning country to rule!"

He propped one head up on a hoof, going from 'frustratingly neutral' to 'bored'. "So? How is that a benefit to her?"

I sputtered. "Be-be, buh, because duh, what's the point of being in charge of, of nothing?! She might as well not be in charge at all if the country just falls apart!"

"She gets to order ponies around. Get anything she wants. That's the point."

I was seething, and it felt like my blood had caught on fire from how utterly stupid this stupid, stupid pony was!

How can he not understand something so basic?!

"That's not rulership, that's just... stupid! Like, what does she even get out of that?! A fancy castle to live in and some servants?! And you said that the scepter is usually taken, right? So she's got a lot of enemies, too! That's a terrible trade!"

He waved a hoof dismissively. "Like I said, it's a sucker's game."

"NO! IT! IS! NOT! Taking over, really taking over, means getting everypony to love you! It makes you safer from enemies because if anything bad happens they'll take a hit for you!"

I had pounded the table again, and now my hooves were sore. There was actually something kind-of cathartic about being able to yell, smash stuff, and just generally let go without being judged for it. This pony didn't care... and that was actually nice, in an infuriating way. He waited for me to catch my breath before responding.

"Why would anypony ever do that?"

"I already told you! Stupid! Stupid pony! I told you! They'd love you!"

He scoffed at that. Another actual emotion! Sort-of!

"Good luck convincing anypony of that. You went down to Ponyville; you think today's ponies are going to love you just because you try to do a decent job at rulership?"

My breath hitched, and my response died in my throat, my mouth still open and hoof raised. I hesitated for a few seconds before I set my hoof down and huffed.

"Well I don't know, but it sure sounds like nopony has even tried."

"Oh, I don't know. A few rulers tried to make things better in a few ways, to try to win some trust or loyalty. But in the end it didn't work out too well for them. And, honestly, your way doesn't sound that appealing to most ponies; it sounds like it would involve a lot of work for very little reward, if any. What do you get, in the end? You're in charge, you run the country well... then what?"

"Then you're in charge of a real kingdom!"

"And? Then what?"

Again, my response died in my throat. Somewhere, in trying to win the argument, I'd lost sight of what my original position was. I stammered out a response just for the sake of not giving him the satisfaction, assuming he could even feel that.

"W-well, then, then you can order ponies around, but they'll love you for it!"

That stupid eyebrow went back up on his stupid face like he thought I was stupid, stupid stallion that he was.

"So... the only difference is that ponies like you?"

I seized back on something I'd said earlier.

"Well you're safer that way! You won't have loads of enemies trying to seize power!"

The flat look he fixed me with actually made me feel stupid.

"Cozy Glow, forgive me if I'm mixing up my history, but didn't you try to seize power from a beloved ruler?"

"... Yes..."

"Twice? And the second time it was with two others who—"

"YES, I GET IT, SHUT UP! STUPID... GRAH!"

I turned my back to him and slammed my rump onto the table, fuming. I sat like that for a solid minute, just waiting for him to make some snide remark or snicker at me or something, but he never did.

And somehow that was a lot worse. I had nothing to counter or fight back against, I just had my own stupid thoughts and my own stupid doubts. I sucked in a breath and turned back around to look at him; he was sitting up straight and watching me with that neutral look of his. I rolled my eyes.

"What, nothing else to add?"

"You told me to shut up."

I worked my jaw silently for a second. Honestly, I couldn't even be angry; that response was just so unexpected I didn't know what to make of it.

Had I hurt his feelings? Or was he just some kind of weird golem-pony that just did whatever he was told?

Whatever!

"Okay, look! Fine, you will still have enemies, but the whole reason I failed, we failed, was because the rulers of Equestria were so beloved! Their pwecious fwiends came in to save the day, in force! So! There! They were a lot safer because they had friends! Gotcha! Q... Uh... Q-E-D!"

I'd heard Twilight say that at the end of a lecture once, and it always sounded like a good burn at the end of an argument, so I felt pretty good about trotting it out here. The caretaker didn't seem impressed, but then again he wouldn't be, so who cared?

"They'd have been safer, personally, if they weren't your targets in the first place. It was only the princess and her friends who got locked up in Tartarus, right? So if safety is your goal, why not just stay home?"

"Duhhhh, you wouldn't be in charge then!"

The stallion's eyes opened fully, like he was mildly surprised, and I realized I'd missed something.

"Right, but then what's the point of being in charge in the first place?"

I felt my confidence starting to drain.

"Because, like I said, then you can order ponies around and they love you for it..."

"Which is good because they protect you? Isn't that just a roundabout way to get the same thing you started with?"

He furrowed his brow, as if puzzled, and pressed on to my surprise.

"Is the goal here just to order ponies around? And you think being beloved is the safest way to do that? You could just use fear instead, if you have enough power."

"Like Sombra... or Chrysalis, or Grogar."

"Or Discord." He agreed.

"You're saying you think that's a better way?"

He shrugged. "It worked for them, didn't it? It's working for Pluteia."

"It worked for a while, but the moment they showed weakness they were taken down! It's not... sustainable! And not just that, it's..."

I trailed off, gesturing and looking for the right word. He scoffed. "What, evil?"

"Shallow! It's not real rulership, like I said, it's just... bullying, basically!" I stood up on my hind hooves and made imposing hoof gestures while rolling my eyes around in my head like a madpony, " 'Whoo, lookit me, I can zap ponies and make'm dance!' Who cares?!"

I stomped back down and fixed him with a glare as I continued.

"That's not power over ponies, it's just power being used to force them to do stuff. Real power is when they do it willingly!"

The caretaker sighed, and I realized he was actually faintly exasperated. At least he was feeling it!

"Power is power. Why should anypony care about the specific type? We're back around to the point that you could use power and fear just the same as being loved, and either way you could be in charge and be safe, which is what you seem to want, but now you're saying that's not real rulership. So does that mean you want real rulership for its own sake?"

I scoffed and bit back a reply while humming and trotting a bit in place, and laughed a bit without opening my mouth as I really glared at him good.

Oh, he's really starting to tick me off now!

"Of COURSE I do, are you completely INSANE?! Look outside! Look how terrible this place is! HELLLOOOOO, is anypony home?! WHO WOULD WANT ALL OF THIS?!" I flew up by the window and gestured frantically at the skyline as if he couldn't see it. "NOPONY! Duuuuuhhh, pay attention! This is stupid! This is garbage! Nopony would want to live in this world! So, duhhhh, pay close attention now! The one with all of the power should fix it! So they don't have to live in it! Get it?!"

His eyes widened, and he almost seemed excited to grasp my meaning.

"Ah, I believe I understand your objection now. The queen's castle has actually been modified – through the labor of many, many ponies commanded to do so – so that it can simulate a day and night cycle through the motions of gigantic mirrors and pulleys. It's quite majestic, apparently, though back-breaking work for the ponies who operate the machinery."

I sputtered and tried to imagine how anypony would pull that off.

"That... okay, look, that sounds great and all, really impressive, but that's just fake! The problem's still out there!"

He shrugged at that, and I practically wanted to strangle him. "The queen doesn't leave the palace very often. She has her every need attended to, since she'd wreak havoc otherwise. I still don't see why you're saying she's being stupid for that approach, aside from the risk inherent in her position – that is what you are saying, right?"

I groaned, and I decided to embrace some of the profanity I'd heard other ponies slinging around in town.

"NRGH, yes! What you're describing isn't even a queen, it's just a, a... I don't even know what to call it! A sponge! Her royal pain-in-the-ass! Less 'her majesty' and more 'her major pig-sty!' A slob who makes other ponies do everything for her!"

He actually snickered at my descriptors, which at least alleviated some of my rage, but then leaned back and looked at me appraisingly. "Isn't that the point of being in charge, though? Getting what you want?"

I almost felt like tearing out my hair. I flew back over to my chair and huffed, and puffed, and realized my chest was starting to hurt.

"I... I told you, that's not really being in charge? It's just bullying, like I said! It's stupid..."

The stallion leaned closer, a look of genuine concern on his face. "Cozy, are you alright?"

"I... I don't know... I mean, I'm fine! I mean I don't know if that's... I mean, that thing you asked."

He paused. "You mean if that's the point of being in charge?"

"I don't... know?"

My chest really was starting to hurt bad, and I started to feel like something was really, really wrong. Like really horribly wrong.

What's going on? I feel like I'm being turned back into stone!

I glanced at my hooves, and in the dim lighting they looked grey for a second, and I shrieked, bolting out of the chair. I felt like an idiot, but only for a second, because now my heart was hammering so hard I barely managed a proper landing. I tried to say something, but it came out breathlessly and oh stars I can't breathe.

The caretaker had me in his hooves then, but I was only barely aware of him, struggling to suck in some air and feeling like my ears were burning off of my head and my skin was turning to stone and crumbling away, and everything hurt so bad I couldn't think straight.

"Cozy, you're having a panic attack. Can you hear me? Cozy?"

I struggled to nod, but the pain and panic taking me over made me twitch erratically, and I wasn't sure he could even tell what I was trying to do. My heart hammered even harder, and my vision started to black out.

I'm dying! Why am I dying, what happened?! Did this stupid, magic-less world kill me?! What is going on?!

Where are my friends...?

The next thing I knew, I was waking up again in that weird bed, feeling groggy but otherwise fine, my panic attack almost forgotten. It took me a little bit to remember what happened, and I initially felt embarrassed before I realized the caretaker probably didn't have the mental capacity to judge me anyway.

I still felt ashamed of my own weakness, though.

And I had a lot to think about before I did anything else.

Author's Note

Doc, can I get a pill that cures bad decision-making?

Lunch

Getting into the castle wasn't hard. It was pretty clear most ponies wouldn't come here willingly, anyway, so the couple of guards I saw – would they really try to protect the queen in an emergency? I doubted it – let me pass when I put on a convincingly frightened face and said I'd been ordered to come here.

Probably just here to keep her from being disturbed by rabble. Well, too bad.

There really was a fake day-and-night cycle in the palace. It was disturbing, actually; the fake daytime wasn't any match for the real one I remembered, but I pushed it out of my mind and let myself appreciate the tremendous work of architecture involved. Somepony very talented had clearly put good work into this, and I did appreciate good, clever work.

Unlike some ponies.

I passed through the great doors to the court of Canterlot. I'd expected to see a Celestia-like figure lounging imperiously on her throne as she was fanned by servants and had grapes dropped into her mouth, or something.

Instead, what I got was a blue-grey mare with a frazzled green mane that reminded me somewhat of the maneiac from the Power Ponies comics, though she looked far less menacing and far more... terrified?

She clutched a golden scepter to her as I walked in.

"W-who is that?! Who are you?!"

I stared at her as the door shut behind me, scarcely able to believe it.

This is the evil queen ruling over Equestria with an iron hoof?

I sighed.

Even the villains suck in this era.

"I'm Cozy Glow."

"Huh? What was that?! Speak up! Or I'll...!"

I realized I'd spoken very softly, and raised my voice a bit to carry across the huge room.

"My name is Cozy Glow!"

I was careful not to sound angry, though I couldn't keep a faint hint of irritation out of my voice. The mare blinked a few times, seeming uncertain of what to do. I trotted up closer, and she recoiled at that.

"D-don't come closer! You're here to take the scepter, aren't you?! What are you planning?!"

She leveled the scepter at me. I made sure to project my voice as I walked. "I wanted to talk with you. That's all."

Her eyes narrowed, but at least she didn't blast me as I got closer. "Talk? Talk about what?"

I stopped when I reached the edge of the dais. "I'm... new here. So I don't really know much about how Equestria works. But I heard you're in charge, and I just wanted to ask you some things. Okay?"

I tempered my voice carefully to be comforting and reassuring, nonthreatening. It seemed to have the desired effect. The queen visibly started breathing more easily, and resumed clutching the scepter at her side rather than pointing it at me. She glanced around nervously, but on not seeing anything amiss, she calmed down further.

"O-okay. I think. Ask. Ask your questions."

"... Why do you want to be queen? You seem miserable."

Her eyes darted to me, looking for signs of treacherous intent. But I gave her the same semi-lidded stare the caretaker almost always gave me; neutral, maybe a little bored. Maybe a little... pitying?

"Wh-why do you ask? You want to take over, that it?"

"No." I said firmly, with a conviction that even surprised myself. "Look at yourself. What pony would want this? That's... what I wanted to find out. And that's what I'm asking: Why?"

The queen paused and looked herself over, and sighed. I was surprised to see her force back tears.

Whoa, guess I hit on a nerve, there.

"I... I don't want this. It's terrible. But this way I can at least keep anypony else from using the scepter. On me or my family."

Huh. Does she actually care about somepony other than herself? Or maybe it's just a sense of responsibility? Well, whatever.

"Couldn't you just huck the scepter in a lake, or something, and accomplish the same thing?"

She shook her head rapidly. "No. Nono. I thought about it. But the riots and fighting would be worse. Somepony has to be in charge, unquestionably. Then everypony else stays in line, at least. Whenever there's a fight over the scepter it's awful; without it things would be even worse."

I thought about that in silence for a second, considering the attitudes and behaviors of the ponies I'd met.

Then a groaned and rubbed my head.

"Oh good grief, you're right. These ponies are idiots."

We shared a moment of silence at that, and she let out a deep sigh.

"It wasn't so bad, you know? At f-first, I mean. I was a lot more laid-back than the last queen, so ponies were fine with letting me keep the scepter. I had p-parties and stuff. But then the attempts started, and..."

She gestured at the empty room.

"I sent everypony out. I only let a f-few ponies I don't find scary around me now."

I stared at the floor for a while, then, thinking it over.

"So that's how it is. Even if you wanted to make things better, you can't, because the ponies around you are so mean now."

"Ponies take advantage."

I looked up at that, and saw she was actually crying now. She chewed her lip a bit before continuing.

"D-don't tell anypony, but I tried to make things better. What's the point otherwise, right? Everything else gets boring. Parties get boring. B-but ponies take advantage when you're nice to them. It's just another opening. A weakness."

I bit back my first reply. I had been about to object, but hadn't I preyed on that exact vulnerability? Instead, I thought it over carefully.

"It's a weakness... so you need to be stronger to do it safely. Make up for it."

She cocked her head at that, and looked at me with desperation.

"How? How do I get stronger?"

I sighed. "With friends."

She laughed. It was such a miserable sound I winced.

"Friends? That's just more vulnerabilities!"

I shook my head. "I mean real friends. But I guess that's just another old, dead idea."

I huffed, shaking my head, and turned to leave. "Sorry for taking up your time."

I had gotten halfway across the room when her voice carried over to me.

"W-wait. Please..."

I paused and turned to look at her, an eyebrow raised. She looked around nervously, like she was about to whisper a secret to me.

"Could you... stay for lunch? Please?"

I realized she could have ordered me to do it, if she wanted. Threatened me. But she wanted me to stay for her, willingly. Maybe more than anything in the world, at that moment.

And honestly, maybe it was just the fact that it could have easily been me up there, but the whole idea of her situation just hurt me.

"... Sure."

Author's Note

Doc, can you talk away all the people who hurt me?

Study

"Was your visit with the queen illuminating?"

I sighed as I hung up my coat and flew over to the chair opposite the caretaker. The study really was a comfortable place with a fire going like it had right now. Didn't do a lot to help how I felt, though.

"Yeah, I guess so. Turns out she's just as miserable as everypony else."

The caretaker nodded as he tapped his hoof to his tongue and turned a page in his book, squinting at it through those little readers on the end of his nose. "A sucker's game, as I said."

"Don't call her that."

The caretaker looked up from his book to see the stern look I was giving him, and he gently closed his book.

"Oh? My apologies, I did not realize she had earned your respect."

"Yeah, well... she did. I was wrong about her."

I scuffed a hoof on my chair, and focused on the threads because I didn't want to look at him while I admitted my mistake. He hummed in consideration before responding.

"I see. Well, perhaps I was, as well, then. Everypony makes mistakes, after all. Though I am surprised to hear you say so."

I grunted angrily and looked back up at him. "Yeah? Well I'm just a little filly, okay? I know I did a lot of big stuff and all, but that doesn't mean I've got everything all figured out entirely already, okay?!"

He lifted a placating hoof, and I saw his eyebrows knit in concern. I realized he was worried about me having another panic attack, and I forced my irritation down. There was no point yelling at him anyway.

"Cozy, I know that. But given all the vigor with which you pursued your plans, I figured you had your goals clearly planned out, is all."

"I thought I did too! But like, that's the way not knowing stuff works, right? You don't know you don't know it, I mean, necessarily."

The caretaker hummed, and nodded. "I do suppose they say wisdom is being aware of your own ignorance for that reason. So, then, what have you discovered you didn't understand?"

I shook my head, sighing miserably. "I don't even know, exactly! It's just... I feel like everything is a lot more complicated than before. It seemed so simple: Power is good, friendship is power, get lots of friends and take over! Then everypony loves you and you get whatever you want. What could be better?"

The caretaker tapped his chin in thought. "I suppose that does make sense. But power is only good if you want to do something with it."

I pointed a hoof at him, my eyes widening. "Yes! That's part of what I figured out! I-I mean, power is kind-of good on its own, since you can use it to get what you want or stop ponies from hurting you, but power like that comes with responsibility, so if you don't have any clear goal in mind it just becomes a problem."

"And her position doesn't come with the 'everypony loves you' part you seem so adamant about."

I nodded at that, blushing self-consciously and glancing away. "Yeah... well, that's... that's sorta the main thing, I guess."

One of the caretaker's eyebrows rose up again. "Oh. I hadn't realized."

I groaned. "Look, don't rub it in, okay?! I just—who doesn't like being adored, right?! Get off of my case!"

The caretaker blinked a bit, leaning back at my outburst. "Cozy, I didn't mean to imply something was wrong with it. I was just surprised. You attended Twilight Sparkle's school of friendship, didn't you? As I understand it, you had friends all across the school before your attempt to seize power. I suppose I just assumed they were a means to an end."

"Well, yeah! A means to get even more friends! Who has more friends than the princesses?! I mean, Twilight and Celestia had all of Equestria wrapped around their hooves!"

The caretaker's brow knit and he frowned slightly in confusion. "But with that many friends, you'd hardly know them all yourself. And they'd hardly know you – and not the real you at all. Ah, is this a matter of popularity, rather than friendship?"

I stammered at that, turning even more red. "Uh, I! I-I dunno, maybe it's both?! I mean, both are good, right?! What's wrong with wanting it all?! Twilight had it all! Power! Authority! Friendship! Popularity! And she got there through friendship, same way I was!"

The caretaker stared at me for several long seconds before replying.

"Well, I can certainly see your position, but Princess Twilight acquired her position and following through sincerity and heroism, didn't she? It seems like you were more on-track for that before you betrayed Equestria."

I thought back to the incident with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and my somewhat-fumbling attempt to ingratiate myself to all of them while I was still getting the hang of friendship and manipulation. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks and leaned back in my chair, folding my forehooves.

"... Yeah, maybe, I guess. I just thought my way would be faster, and better."

The caretaker shrugged. "I suppose, though real friendship is a two-way relationship, so given that you didn't care at all, I suppose—"

I snapped up at that. "Hey! That's... that's not true!"

The caretaker recoiled in actual, open shock at that. "It isn't?! Er, I mean, sorry, I just assumed—"

"Well don't! I actually needed help with my friendship exams, because hello, devious villain here, not talented at friendship, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders helped me! I actually liked having them around! I totally bungled my first attempt at helping them until Starlight just randomly told me they weren't attending because they should be teaching! I didn't know that – well, I mean, I did know that, but I didn't know that she knew that, or that they'd be sensible enough to actually let them teach there. I thought I was actually doing something nice for them! Like I'd learned about! And I did, in the end!"

The caretaker stared at me, deadpan. "I have no idea who you're talking about."

I groaned. "It's not important, I guess. But you can't just go and say all of my friendships were totally fake like that."

The caretaker hummed as he frowned and knitted his brow again, glancing up at one of the bookshelves and making a few gestures with a hoof like he was trying to fit a broken puzzle together.

"But you stabbed everypony in the back, didn't you? If you actually cared about them, then why would you do that? Or how could you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Jeez, ease off, would ya?! I decided I wouldn't let any of that get in the way of my plans!"

"So, what, your heart was just filled with anguish while you booted the counselor into a magical vortex and sent the students on a field-trip that nearly dropped them to their deaths?"

I recoiled at that, shuddering. "H-hey, that's not – that's not fair. I didn't know that would happen."

The caretaker's jaw slackened. "You... didn't realize wiping out magic would make them fall?"

"I didn't think it through, okay?! It was..."

I snapped my mouth shut and my eyes went wide, and I cringed, waiting for the caretaker to fill in the blank.

But he didn't. He just watched me, curiously, waiting for me to go on.

I didn't want to. But I finally did.

"... It was stupid. I was stupid."

I hung my head and felt a wave of revulsion go through me. I wasn't supposed to be the stupid pony; everypony else was stupid.

"Well, that doesn't seem quite fair. After all, for all that your plan lacked a clearly-considered goal or consequences, you still did an excellent job of outmaneuvering Twilight and her friends. Better than any other villain they faced. I'd hardly call that stupid."

I perked up at that, and I found myself giggling slightly at the praise.

Praise! For me! For my villainy! That was a new one.

"Well, thanks, sir. I've always been good at predicting how ponies would try to block or counter my strategies. It's how I got my mark, see?"

I lifted my rump enough he could see my cutie mark over the arms of the chair, and he nodded.

"So I see."

"But..." I sank back down. "I still almost caused a really bad disaster, and even if that part had worked, the rest of my plan totally failed. The students had figured me out, warned Celestia and Luna, and the rest of the school was turning on me. I gave up all of my friendships and all of the trust I'd put together and traded it for a year in Tartarus."

"Perhaps," said the caretaker, leaning back and studying me, "but everypony makes mistakes. What makes a pony stupid is that they don't learn from their mistakes."

I shot out of my chair and flew above it, pointing an accusatory hoof at him. "Are you trying to say I need to reform?! Is that what this is all about?"

The caretaker just gave me that dumb deadpan look of his. "I'm saying you should figure out what you did wrong and work on that. So you tell me."

I sank slowly back down to my chair, eyeing him suspiciously. But when I really got to thinking about it...

"Maybe... I don't know! I mean, I guess I could try being reformed, but with what?! The ponies here are awful; I wouldn't want to be their friends anyway. And... I don't even really know where to start, or if 'reforming'," I made little air-quotes with my hooves, "is for me anyway. Like, do I have to sing dumb songs with ponies about how I'm starting over? Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick."

I retched and pointed a hoof into my mouth for dramatic effect, and I got the tiniest smirk for my efforts.

Score.

"Well, I'm no expert on the topic. I'll try to support you whichever route you choose. But I'd say you can leave the singing alone if you wish."

"Good. I prefer villain songs anyway; they're always way more catchy."

The caretaker considered that. "You know, I think you might be right."

I giggled a little at that and fluttered my wings. There really was something nice about this; it almost reminded me of my time with Tirek and Chrysalis, but without the constant anxiety that one of them would snap and try to kill us all, or the constant need to prove myself, or the condescension...

"You know... thanks for this. It's nice to be able to be myself with somepony without worrying about it. To just admit most ponies are stupid about some stuff, to admit I hate a lot of stuff other ponies like – like the big dumb songs – and not feel like I'm opening up some vulnerability for somepony to attack."

"Did ponies give you trouble over that kind of thing?"

I thought back to the time before Twilight's school, and cringed. "I don't like talking about it. I got away from all of the ponies I knew before the school for a reason."

The caretaker nodded slowly. "Learned young to cover up who you are."

I studied the rug under our chairs for a while. "Yeah. Pretty much."

"Well, you're always free to be honest with me, Cozy. And since you were wondering where to go next, perhaps you could try becoming friends with the queen? It sounds like you two have a bit of a rapport, after all."

I snorted. "She's just lonely, and using me to fill that gap."

"Maybe. Or you could look at it like this; you don't seem to think she's stupid, and she doesn't seem to think you're going to stab her in the back, and you're both lonely. It may not exactly be a high bar, but if you two got along, I figure there must be a little more to it than a warm body."

I thought back to a few of the jokes we had traded over lunch. It had been nice...

"Yeah. I guess you're right. I guess maybe I'll try that."

"Well, best of luck. Do let me know if you decide you need assistance usurping her, or whatever you cook up."

I rolled my eyes and hopped off of my chair.

"What would even be the point?"

But... I really don't want to see her get hurt any more. She just seems so scared... even more lost than I am.

I thought about that as I went up to my room and got a good book to get my mind off of things.

Author's Note

Is there a treatment for 'shitty friends' disease?

Keepsake

It turned out the queen wasn't available for the next few days, so I got a lot of time to myself to think.

What I mostly concluded was that I really hated thinking. Especially about stuff I might have messed up in the past, or things I needed to change.

Who even cares about what I need to change anymore? This whole dumb world needs to change now. I'm an afterthought.

That last bit saw me fuming for a good few hours.

I spent some of my time talking to the caretaker. Some of that turned into yelling, but most of it was quiet. I kept expecting him to try to push me somewhere new with my thinking, but he never did; I just kept retreading the same old arguments from new angles, and I kept coming to the same unwavering conclusion.

I was wrong. I was wrong and I hated it, but that didn't change it.

I'd been so eager not to be wrong I'd stuck to my position and sided with the villains. I ended up getting myself imprisoned in stone and I missed everything, even the end of Equestria as we knew it; I didn't even get to see the horrible apocalypse, the cause of which nopony seemed to know, because I had gone and screwed up so badly that history had tossed me in the trash and forgotten about me beforehand.

All because I was wrong.

Could I have made a difference, if I'd been around? Maybe I'd have met the villain and been able to do something. Maybe they were inspired by my original plan and re-enacted it. Except they succeeded.

I groaned, screwing my eyes shut.

If so, congratulations, pony villain lost to time. I'm sure it was worth it.

Just like it was for me.

It was a rough few days.

Still, the queen couldn't keep busy forever. I was fighting to contain my excitement when I finally made it to the throne room.

Turns out, she wasn't bothering; the queen bounded up from the table she was sitting at – why is there a table in the throne room? Huh, looks like crafting supplies – and pranced up to me, scepter pinned under one of her wings and a big smile on her face.

"Cozy! You actually came back to see me!"

I cracked a grin, as best I could, and nodded.

It's not easy to do this without some kind of persona...

"Hey! Pluteia, you changed your hair!"

That was putting it mildly! She had cleaned herself up entirely, gotten a proper spa treatment and the works. I almost felt drab by comparison.

Was she busy those few days getting cleaned up because I embarrassed her? I hope I didn't...

I felt pathetic worrying about her feelings like that, but then I remembered there was nothing else of value in this garbage-heap world to worry about.

She beamed at me.

"I sure did! You like it?"

"I love it. The wavy look really suits you. You look a lot happier."

She sighed contentedly and nodded, leading me over to the table as we talked.

"I feel it. I think maybe ponies have gotten used to the idea I'm in charge, so they're not so eager to plan a takeover anymore. You really woke me up, got me to stop hiding and get some things done. You were right; what's the point in being queen if I can't enjoy myself once in a while?"

I wasn't at all confident about that sentiment per se when I nodded to her, but I did it anyway as I sat down.

"Well, you clearly can't run the country properly when you're scared, alone, and unhealthy anyway; I'm glad to see things are picking up for you."

"Too right! So, um... I was thinking, maybe we could do some...?"

She gestured to the stuff on the table. I picked up for the first time that her cutie mark was a needle and thread, and hoo, boy, did it show; we had all sorts of sewing and knitting supplies, arts and crafts...

I had to fight down the urge to object, either because it was a little filly's activity or because it reminded me too much of Rarity's classes.

So what? I'm a filly, and the classes just helped me know what I'm doing here. It's not like Tirek or Chrysalis are here to judge me for not wearing my villain hat.

I smiled up at her and nodded. "Sure, that looks fun! Where do we start?"

"W-well, I made up some designs. I'm really rusty, so it's okay if you don't like them; we can work on something more advanced next time, but I figured we should start small!"

She passed me her notepad, and I looked over the first design.

Holy pies, she wants us to sew together a doll? And this big and complicated?!

I scoffed and shook my head, but also smiled. "Small, huh? You sure have a different idea on that than I do!"

She smiled sheepishly. "Well, I have a lot of practice with this kind of thing. You know, building things out of raw material, binding materials together and tying them off, it's all just really natural for me. It's okay if you don't want to—"

"No, let's do it! I like ambitious. Ambitious is worth doing!"

She grinned back at me. "That's kind of always been my motto. I guess I maybe overdid it with this queen thing, but... well hey, let's just have fun, yeah?"

We set into our work then, and we kept at it for a few hours. The project was way too big to do in just one day, and I realized that was her way to make sure I came back.

What, like I had anything else to do?

So I did come back, day after day, and we worked at it. I let myself get lost in the work, but we still cracked jokes and laughed, and talked about a lot of stuff. I learned a lot about what was wrong with Equestria. Crop yields were always low – pretty obvious with the perpetual twilight – and the number of crops that could even live in these conditions was pretty low. Ponies were constantly fighting over the low food supplies, or decent farmland, and she received petitions for that sort of thing somewhat regularly, even with her general do-nothing policy.

Once in a while she punished somepony for causing trouble in her domain, but short of that, she just didn't care.

I tried to pretend I didn't, either.

There was a mishap one day when she was really into her craft work, and her scepter actually slid out from under her wing. I hoofed it back to her without a second thought – look, that kind of work takes a lot of concentration, and that thing was way too big for me anyway – and her look of betrayal, followed by shock and gratitude, really burned itself in my memory.

The whole project took us a week to complete, even with her special talent and all of the premium supplies she had brought in, but we were both really proud of what we'd done in the end. It was a griffon doll, with black plumage and blue accents, almost a quarter the scale of a pony. She had just finished dying the tip of the beak black, and we both sat back and admired it.

"He's cute," I said, and giggled.

"Yeah, but he's also got this suave look, y'know? Like, what's he planning? Heheh."

"I've been meaning to ask, where are all of the griffons, anyway? I, er, I read that Equestria used to have all sorts of other creatures."

The queen scoffed and waved a hoof dismissively. "A lot of them died out when magic did, and the rest were banished by the first king. 'Equestria for ponies' was part of his whole, like, shtick. A lot of ponies were really serious about that, back then, I guess. The griffons all left, no idea what happened to them."

I balked. "You don't keep contact with the griffon kingdom?"

She shook her head. "Apparently some king or queen before me did, but they stopped answering. As far as anypony can tell, Griffonstone is abandoned now. Not my problem anyway."

I stared at the little griffon doll we'd made together, remembering all of the other creatures who had made up the school of friendship, and Equestria at large.

"That's... so stupid. Why would anypony want all of the other creatures gone? Other creatures make just as good friends as ponies."

The queen snorted. "Ponies are stupid in general, and worse when they're scared. You know how it is."

I thought back to the way I'd used that same fear and panicked idiocy to my advantage, once. I nodded uneasily.

"Yeah... I guess I do."

"But hey, we've got this little guy to remember them by, yeah? I think it came out pretty good. It's based on some old posters for a music concert that were still lying around. I think I captured the anatomy really well."

"You did," I said at once, without thinking, and hurried to add, "from, um, what I've seen in books and all, anyway."

She grinned at that. "I want you to take him. You seem to like griffons; I just thought it would be a neat challenge, and I like working with dark tones."

"Oh, uh, thanks! That's really nice of you."

I really hadn't been expecting anypony in this world to give me anything, but there it was. And I actually really liked dolls, I just hadn't had any since getting here. I smiled as I picked the griffon up and tucked him under a wing. "Let's get you home, little guy."

I stood up to go, and the Pluteia stood up and yawned, stretching out and clearly appreciating a job well done. She fixed me with a sleep, happy smile.

"Same time tomorrow?"

I hesitated. It sounded fun, but...

"Uh, I'd like to, but... shouldn't you be doing some queen stuff soon? I mean, we've been doing this for an entire week!"

The queen waved a hoof dismissively, rolling her eyes. "Oh, those petitioners can live without me. They just bother me for handouts anyway. Buck'em!"

I grimaced. "But... Pluteia, there are real problems out in Equestria right now! I m-mean, the sun and moon are broken, ponies are going hungry... you're the queen! You should do something about all of that!"

The queen balked, and looked affronted. "Why should I care about those ponies? They never did anything for me! I mean, you're not going hungry, right?"

"Well, no, but that's not the point! As a queen you should be running Equestria, improving it, not just letting it slide into ruin! You told me you tried making things better, once, right? Well... I know things didn't go well last time, but you have a friend by your side this time. I think together, we can turn this all around. What do you say...?"

I reached out a hoof for her, and she stared at it for a few seconds like it was going to bite her. I could see her mind whirling with the possibilities, before she suddenly hissed at me and smacked it away, causing me to recoil in shock.

"I see what this all was, now! You just befriended me so I could be the target while you used me to make things better for you! Oh, you're devious, but I get it, now! You just want a puppet-queen for your whims! No! I thought you wanted to be friends with me, but I see you just want to be distant friends with this!"

She waved the scepter around with her wing, her face absolutely furious. And I...

I just stared at her, partially lidded, bored. It wasn't because I didn't care; it was just that I was watching everything I cared about and I had managed to build fall apart in front of me, and I couldn't muster the energy to fight it.

"No, I just figure it's better to rule over a kingdom than a ghost town, is all."

"Oh, you think you're cute, huh, with your snappy little comebacks?!"

I slowly raised an eyebrow. "I'm adorable, but that's besides the point."

She aimed her scepter at me, which caused my eyes to widen in surprise, but then the depression settled back on me. I shook my head at her.

"Go ahead, if it will make you feel better. What do I care, anymore?"

The queen balked at that, and glanced at the scepter and to me, like she was wondering if it was working. A sense of outrage fought with a sense of despair in me, that this one little thing I had taken comfort in was being taken away.

I took a step forward. "What? Why aren't you blasting me? That's what you want, right? Because you think I didn't care about you?"

"Y-yes! I can't believe I let my guard down again! It was stupid!"

I grit my teeth. "It was not stupid. Stupid is being miserable rather than take a risk at being happy; because what have you got to lose? Huh? What exactly was soooo great about your life that I came and ruined by being your friend? If you've got nothing going, you might as well take the jump. Not doing that is stupid. The only thing more stupid is having something good and throwing it away because you're so hung up on stupid ideas you came up with before you had anypony in the world to care about that you didn't realize what you'd gotten along the way!"

I hiccuped, realizing I was crying now, and I had gotten up in her face. She was pressing the scepter into me, her eyes filled with panic and her mouth twisted in a grimace. Of course, I realized I was talking about myself, and I hated that, just like I hated all of this stupidity. I pressed into the scepter and glared up at her. She was silent, so I started ranting again.

"So what? Going to kill your only friend? Where's all that anger you had? Did you realize it was stupid?"

Her eyes flared, but her expression still seemed horrified. "G-get away from me! Don't call me that!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh come on! I threw my hooves up and accidentally smacked the scepter away, causing it to roll across the floor. She froze in panic for a second, while I just stared at her. I sniffed and forced my throat clear so I could speak.

"I just wanted to help. For once."

She snapped to reality and dove for the scepter, snatching it up and clutching it to her like it was a precious baby. I just sighed in disgust and turned away.

"I hope it keeps you better company than I did. See you, 'your majesty'."

I heard her say my name as I stormed out, but I didn't care anymore.

What was there to care about?

Author's Note

Hey doc, I need a prescription for a meaning in life

Poison

I'd had the time to quit my crying before I got home. By the time I stepped in, I was so numb I barely registered anything.

I trotted around the house in a fog a few times before I remembered I was looking for the caretaker, and hunted him down in the dining room. I just stared at him from the door.

"Ah, hello, Cozy. I was about to put dinner up."

"You freed me from the statue, right?"

I almost registered a breathless amusement that both of us were equally deadpan, but I clamped down on it. I knew that with a laugh would come a lot worse.

"That is correct."

"So you're some kind of stone magic expert?"

He adjusted his glasses slowly and raised an eyebrow. I just stared.

"I am an expert in petrification and de-petrification sp—"

"Put me back in."

He recoiled from that.

"What? Cozy, why would you want to be a statue again?"

"Because there's nothing for me in this stupid world anyway. You might as well shatter it afterwards; I don't care. Just do it. You said you'd support what I wanted, right? So do it."

He stood up, and I saw definite concern on his brow.

So? He just feels some freaky sense of responsibility for me. He isn't even capable of caring about me as a person.

"Cozy, I said I would take care of you. You're asking to die, I can't do that."

I grimaced at him. "I could always go find some other way. This way, at least you or somepony else can wake me up if there's anything worth living for, someday. But this place? This world? This so-called 'Equestria'? It's not worth the time of day – hah, it isn't worth it and it doesn't even have it, there is no time of day here! This place is broken! This isn't a future, it's a dead-end, a failure, it's an ending, the worst ending, like you picked the wrong path in an adventure novel! I'm done, okay? Just..."

I sighed and tried to control my breathing so I wouldn't break down again.

"Just let me stop. Please. I just want to stop being. I'm so tired of trying to constantly run forward, and doing nothing but falling, over and over."

The caretaker walked over to me, his expression grim, and curled up next to me. It was the closest he'd ever gotten to physical affection, but at the moment it just made me feel angry and bitter.

"But, Cozy, you've been doing so much better for yourself. What about the queen?"

"She flipped out at me. Threatened me with her scepter and all. She backed down, but I can see I was right from the beginning that she just needed somepony to fill a space next to her. And I realized, what am I even doing? Living so I can hold on to one little pseudo-friendship with a pony almost as messed up as me? So we can live out dreary lives in this nothing-land together? No, nope, I'm done. I'm finished with this. I can see where I'll be in ten years, twenty years, and you know what? It's right here, doing the same nothing and being the same nothing in this nothing-world and nothing-kingdom, constantly waiting for a something that will never, ever happen. Let's just call it here, huh? We made a good effort. Good on you for trying. But... no."

"You could make something for yourself here, if you just try—"

"I can't sit still like that!"

I barked it out at him, snapping all at once, and I felt the torrent of emotion washing over me. My numb had broken and now every inch of me pulsated with the pain that radiated from my heart. I staggered back and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to keep steady. He just looked at me in confusion, and I yelled in frustration.

"You don't get it, do you?! I'm trying, I'm really trying, but there's all this poison, this hateful poison always leaking in from the edges of my thoughts, all of the time, so all I can ever do is look straight forward and keep running. That's why I keep abandoning my past, wherever I go, letting go of whatever I build up or whatever goes wrong so easily; the truth is that I feel like if I ever look back, I'll get devoured by all of this pain I've built up. It's gotten to the point I don't even care if I set fire to every bridge I cross, because I keep thinking, maybe, the latest fiasco will just push the others farther back, where I don't think about them anymore."

"But no! That's not how it ever happens! Every new fuck-up just bleeds into every other thing I've ever done wrong, so I end up remembering all of them more vividly; every new mistake and disaster just joins the ranks of the army chasing me. I don't ever want to think about my past! I just want a future! I don't even care about how bad things have been so far, if I could just have one thing, some time real hope to hold onto, I can keep running towards it. But the fact is, I hate my past, I hate my present, I hate everything around me, and most of all I hate me. If I can't run towards something and forget all of that, I feel like I should just lie down and give up on it all and die."

I was crying too hard to continue at that point, and I'd scooted myself back against a wall, but I kicked out at the caretaker when he got closer. He kept his distance and watched with concern while I desperately tried to clench my teeth and get it together. Once my breathing was a little more stable, I continued.

"It's anger, y'know? Anger's distracting, it's empowering, it keeps me focused. It keeps me just barreling forward, through obstructions, not pausing to think, think if it's a good idea or if it's possible or practical or sane. I just keep fighting through, solving problems, surmounting obstacles so I can charge towards my quarry as fast as possible so I can get them. And if I don't have a clear target I just make one so I can keep running as hard as possible, keep the rush going so I can never stop, never catch my breath, never be vulnerable."

"When remembering anything you ever loved just fills you with anguish and regret and loss, then you just focus on what you hate – or you just think about something you dislike until you start to hate it – and that's the endless source of anger you need to keep pushing everything else out of the way, where it can't hurt you. Ponies might say it's unhealthy, but what do they know?! It's healthier than giving up! And that's the situation you're in, the choice you're forced to make, and you realize it, and you hate that, too! You curse the world for putting you in that situation, and you hate it even more, and maybe that hate starts to become genuine..."

I trailed off, breathing heavily. The rant had come spontaneously, as I started digging into my own feelings, and I hated every bit of it – how utterly stupid and immature and broken it all sounded. I sighed and put my head in my hooves.

"Whenever I'm not angry, I'm just numb. You want to know how I could be so numb about putting my friends in danger, ignore whatever feelings I had for them? Do you understand how stupid that is? I can't let them into my heart, there's a blizzard out there, and if I open the door it'll snuff out the only tiny fire of hatred that keeps me alive. Other ponies don't get it; accepting their love and friendship means facing all of that horror and pain. Waking up long enough to say 'hello' means realizing my entire body is on fire; racing after them just gets my pulse up just enough to remind me my heart is broken!"

I slammed my head into my hooves, and I was going to do it again when he held me back. I could see the fear and horror on his face, and on some level I felt better knowing somepony even cared enough to feel that. He pulled me to him, as much to hold me still as anything, and I blinked some blood out of my eye. I struggled with him a bit, but he held me fast.

"Cozy... I'm so sorry, I had no idea. I'd never have let you face so much alone if I did."

I shuddered. "I don't care about that. What could you have done?! What can anypony do anymore...? It's all ruined. Even if the world was fine, I'm broken. I just wanted something to distract me from that, and now there's nothing, and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

I shrieked and held onto him as I felt another wave of anguish come over me. We stayed like that a long time, as every time one pain numbed over, my mind found another to stab at me with.

Having somepony listen and care was the most agonizing experience of my life.

Author's Note

What's the cure for hating everything?

Mirror

I couldn't cry forever, even if it felt like I should. I was numb and exhausted by the time I was done, pressed against the caretaker, who practically radiated sincere concern. I hadn't expected that, but I didn't have the heart to really care or press into it right then.

Eventually, he carried me to bed and tucked me in. He sat on the edge and stayed with me until I fell asleep.

Part of me wanted to tell him to go away, but I liked having him there, and I figured that was okay as long as I didn't have to admit it. If he left, I might stop feeling so humiliated by my outburst.

And then it might start again.

Instead, he just sat with me, rubbing my head occasionally, until I passed into sleep.

When I woke up, I could still feel the pain, even through the numb layer of sensation going through me. One thought kept recurring to me, that nothing had changed, but I kept trying to push it down.

There was still nothing for me in this world, but I was trying to hold it together for just a little while. The worst of it had passed for now, so I just looked forward and kept moving, wondering when it would catch up again. Couldn't be long.

I made my way to the dining room. The caretaker was there, of course, and we ate together in silence. I kept wanting to speak, but then I just went back to eating, each time. What could I say at this point? I'd already said it all.

The caretaker cleared his throat when we were done, looking at me intently.

"Cozy, I need to speak with you about something important."

I shrugged the same way he always did. That's when I understood what that was; it was something to fill the space when you were too dead to come up with a real answer. "Sure."

"Let me show you something."

He led me back to the study. I followed him, vaguely curious, but still plagued by the thought that it wouldn't matter, whatever it was. He opened a closet and pulled out something with a brown tarp over it; when he dragged it off, I could see it was an ornate, room-height mirror with an elaborate purple frame. I shrugged again and bit back a mean-spirited reply.

"Fancy mirror."

He cleared his throat, and I realized he was uncomfortable.

Wait, is he coming clean about something...? Oh well. I guess it doesn't matter if somepony else did something wrong at this point.

"This isn't just a mirror, Cozy. It's a mirror-portal. It leads to another world."

My eyes widened slightly. I remembered Twilight had something like that.

Wait, could it be...?

"You took that from Twilight's castle before it was destroyed?"

He hesitated, and then nodded. "Well, yes. It leads to—"

"The 'human' world, is that right? Some kind of school?"

He cleared his throat again. "Well, it used to, but it's been modified. This leads to... well, it leads home, Cozy. The home you knew."

I stared at him. I saw him wince slightly, probably expecting some kind of outburst, but...

I just shrugged. "Okay...? So you're saying that leads back in time, or something?"

"Well... more like sideways in time, but yes."

Sideways...?

"Wait, I'm in the wrong timeline? How did that happen?"

"I brought you here. It... took a lot of effort to find this timeline, this specific possibility out of thousands, but I did. A world where Equestria is intact, but never recovered."

I felt a flicker of suspicion and anger, but I stomped down on it. I couldn't feel that without... well, without the rest of it.

"Okay."

He recoiled slightly in surprise. "Okay...?"

"Yeah, like... go on, if you had more to say. Seems like you've got more to say."

He sputtered slightly, but collected himself. I snickered at that; he wasn't used to dealing with deadpan, I guess.

"W-well... In this world, Cozy Glow succeeded. She had a backup plan in case she, Tirek, and Chrysalis were defeated; she wiped out all magic from Equestria, except for a scepter she had hidden away, and she used it to take over."

I laughed at that, shaking my head and staring down at the floor. "I guess 'she' got pretty depressed with the result, huh?"

"Well... yes. After a few years. She stopped caring, started keeping to the palace, and eventually..."

"Angry ponies stormed in, took the scepter, and this place has been terrible ever since. I can figure out the rest."

The caretaker scraped a hoof against the ground, frowning and looking away.

Clearly not going the way you had planned, is it? Oh well.

"... I thought you would be mad."

"I'm too tired to be mad right now. And I'm more mad at myself, honestly, for... well, everything. If you're saying this was some kind of weird punishment, fine, whatever; not the first time I've been punished for misbehaving. At least it wasn't Tartarus."

Tartarus was so much easier to deal with than this...

He sighed, leaning his head against the mirror frame. "Cozy, I didn't mean to punish you. I just wanted to help you."

I watched magic flicker over him. His cloak billowed off, and I spotted a tornado cutie mark on his flank before he slowly began to change form, growing longer, changing color, each of his hooves taking a different form, his horn splitting in two...

I groaned and facehoofed.

"Discord?! Seriously?! You fooled me again?"

Discord had the good grace to look sheepish. And his eyes were more tired-looking than I'd ever seen him.

"I'm... sorry, Cozy—"

I held up a hoof. "No. No, whatever, I get it. It's what I'd have done. It was the only way to manipulate me to get what you wanted. Fine. So... what do you want? If this wasn't a punishment, what was it?"

Discord studied the floor, contemplative. "It was a... second chance. I wanted you to have a... a space, an environment, where you could just slow down, stop, and think."

I sat down on the floor and sighed miserably. "Well, congratulations. I did."

He slithered up to me – probably so he wouldn't seem too imposing by walking over at his full height, I realized – and laid his paw on me. "I know. I didn't realize what it would put you through."

I snorted. "Nopony did, not even me. That was the whole point. So... now what? You think I can just go back to the real Equestria, and be all happy? I told you... even if the world was fine, I'm just not. I don't even know what I want any more. No, I do; I don't want anything, except to just stop hurting. I can't..."

My breath hitched and I growled, trying to force the feelings back down.

"... I can't do this anymore. I can't look back on all of that and just handle it all."

Discord scratched my head slightly, and I leaned into it. I may have been furious with him, on several levels, but right now I just didn't care about any of that.

Any source of warmth was better than what I felt coming from inside of me.

"What if I told you... you don't have to? Here, come look at this."

He waved at the mirror with his talons, and it slid closer to us. I looked up at it, and I saw myself – but not quite. The filly I saw had brushed her mane straight, her coat color was different, but she had my cutie mark. She still had her horn, I saw, and the bigger wings I had when I'd taken Grogar's magic.

She was soaring through the sky, practicing some kind of magic. Most of all, though, what stood out to me was that she was smiling. Not the horrible I-have-a-devious-scheme-and-it's-working smile – I do love that one – but just a simple, genuine smile of enjoyment.

"Who, or what, am I looking at?"

Discord hummed. "It's another future we came across in our search. You thought everypony forgot about you, but we didn't. Twilight, Starlight, Fluttershy... everypony still wanted to find some way to help you, or at least give you a chance. It was agonizing, watching them beat themselves up over it all. Tirek they could accept, I think. Chrysalis was hard; Starlight still wanted to save her so, so badly. But you, you were their friend, their student; they couldn't accept giving up on you, despite everything. They refused, but they couldn't find a way... so I volunteered."

I was stunned by the idea of it. Everypony still cared about me? They'd all seen what I really was! I didn't make any sense – I didn't care about real me, how could they? Discord cleared his throat and continued.

"I didn't tell them the specifics of my plan. But I needed help; my magic is ideal for making change, for causing chaos and tearing down barriers... but this required precision. Twilight, Starlight and Starswirl worked for months to make it possible, and as we did so, we stumbled across the future you see in the mirror while looking for this one."

I gently laid a hoof on the mirror frame. "So... then why did you pick this future to send me to, instead of the good one?"

Discord frowned. "I'm afraid that one required... different circumstances, different choices, to have already been made. It isn't... real. It was just a lost possibility, like this future was – is – and if I'd sent you there, you wouldn't have made the choices that made this future a possibility."

I looked at the happy filly in the mirror. "Because I already made the choices that got me turned to stone."

Discord grimaced and nodded. "Yeah... that's basically right. But I think you're ready, and... I don't see another way. Twilight will be furious, of course, but she always is when I do something reckless. But this filly... she doesn't remember. You won't remember, not at first. Not anything."

I looked up to him, and I felt pathetic for how whiny I sounded. "Nothing? You promise?"

He crossed his heart and a stick with a cupcake on it appeared. I held up a hoof in alarm. "Okay, okay, I believe you!"

I really didn't need to see him 'stick' a cupcake in his eye right now.

The stick vanished with a wave of his paw. "I promise you. It... won't last forever. You'll have to go back to reality eventually; that timeline is lost to us, so we only have a few months of it 'captured', so to speak. But..."

"I'll take it. What have I got to lose...?"

I hitched and looked back up to him. "What about the queen? When we leave... you said this timeline was lost, does that mean it will disappear when we go?"

Discord grimaced and glanced away. "I... maaay have left out a little detail. While this timeline will disappear when we leave, the queen isn't exactly... well, it's complicated."

My mind raced with possibilities, and I realized what those meddling ponies must have fixated on. It actually made me laugh.

"Are you trying to say the queen is Chrysalis, somehow?"

"... More or less. She has her own timeline, where you're just as much of an outlier as she was, here."

He waved a paw at the mirror, and I saw Queen Chrysalis shaping some kind of changeling armor with a nymph. It took me a second...

"Is that supposed to be me?"

"More or less. These timelines are connected; mirrors of one another. What happens in one world impacts the other."

I sighed, and... smiled, just a little.

"I get it, I think. So I was a friend to her, and she was a friend to me, and neither of us even realized it. I... will I be able to visit her? After?"

He nodded. "I can take you into her timeline whenever you want. At least, until she's... well, until she's ready to face Equestria again."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I can't believe you're trying to reform us. And you sure go about it a weird way."

Discord stared at Chrysalis in the mirror, thinking for a time. All of the spontaneity I associated with him had been missing ever since we arrived, I realized; then again, he sure did an awfully good impression of Grogar when the time came, too...

" 'Reforming', as you put it, was the greatest gift I ever could have asked for, Cozy. I might have had fun before, but real happiness... it's like a warmth that radiates from your bones. When you open your door to others in that blizzard, you can embrace them and chase away the cold. It connects you to the world around you just as much as depression and hatred pull you away from it; things that never made sense start to come clear to you, like you're just waking up for the first time. Without it, you look on the antics others get up to, and they seem..."

"... Stupid," I finished for him, realization dawning. Real happiness, a sense of purpose and belonging... that was the warmth I needed, but how...?

I looked at the mirror, and Discord waved it back over to the image of that smiling filly, probably anticipating my next question. I watched her for a time, and I realized I was crying again.

"She's... really happy, isn't she?"

"She's had her hardships, but yes. Frankly, I couldn't have imagined a more absurd way for you to turn things around, but this was a possibility, deep down. And sure, we may have missed our chance on living in that better timeline this time around, but..." He chuckled. "I'm Discord, who says I have to play by the rules?"

I had practically tuned him out, focusing on the image.

"Can I really feel that? Can I really have that, even for just a little while?"

He leaned down, setting his paw on my head. "Yes, Cozy. For a little while. And we'll keep trying to help you, even after."

I sniffed and bit my lip for a moment before responding. "Why?"

He just chuckled, which I glared daggers at him for, and he held up his talon placatingly. "Cozy... you know why. That's the whole reason I brought you here, to show you."

I felt my eyes go wide, letting tears fall freely as I put it together.

"This isn't what a world without magic looks like, it's what a world without friendship, without love looks like... isn't it?"

He nodded. "And that has to start somewhere. That's why you reached out to the queen, isn't it? To ignite that spark that could fix this world."

I looked back at the mirror, and I managed to screw up a smile as I started to think, just maybe, there might be something worth running towards.

"... Thank you."

Author's Note

Where can I get a script for a new soul? Mine's defective.

To whomever is unfamiliar, the alternate timeline Cozy is seeing is detailed in https://www.fimfiction.net/story/457279/the-hero-cozy-glow, which serves as a sequel to this story.

Yes, this was planned from the start of that fic, albeit in the background.

Merry Christmas.

Dinner

The first thing I felt was a sense of warmth flooding into me. A bright light, blinding, suddenly waking me up – I hadn't even realized I was asleep.

Then the light went out, and I fell to the ground.

"Owww! Hey~!"

As I stood up and rubbed my rump, I opened my eyes and saw a grey-coated unicorn stallion with a black mane and a dark red cloak looking down at me. He looked... bored?

I was about to ask him where in Equestria I was when he turned on his hoof and casually strolled out of the room. I was still getting my hooves under me, and his total lack of interest honestly took me so much by surprise I didn't manage to get a word out. Instead, I looked around.

Is this some kind of... mansion?

I was in a dimly-lit dining room of some kind. Somepony had drawn all of the drapes closed, and only a single candle kept the room from total darkness, off in the corner. There was a long, oak dining table surrounded by fancy chairs, with silk cushions.

Somepony had set two places with what I dully realized was actual silver tableware.

What in Equestria is going on? How did I get here?

I thought back, and that's when it hit me: the students from the school, the elements of harmony, Discord, Celestia, Luna, all of us turning into stone... all of it.

We had lost.

We lost.

Even with all the power of Grogar, even with the bell, even though Equestria was torn apart at the seams and the windigoes were swarming-! We'd even taken all of the magic from the princesses, Discord, the pillars! Nopony should have been able to stand up to us anymore!

"GRAH! How could we still lose?! We totally had it! This is so... that was so unfair! It's ridiculous! Stupid... cheating... RRR!"

I couldn't take how angry it made me feel. I yelled and kicked over a chair, snapping one of the legs off of it in the process, and bucked the table for good measure – which mostly just hurt my hooves.

Yeesh, that thing is seriously sturdy! SOMEPONY didn't skimp on the furniture!

I was on the verge of hunting down something more distinctly smash-able when the dining room door opened again. I quickly tried to get my temper under control; I could hardly try to plead my case with the newcomer if I looked like I wanted to bite the head off of something.

The unicorn I'd seen before strode into the room, and to my surprise he didn't seem to have heard – no, he MUST have heard – my temper tantrum, or at the very least he didn't care. He didn't even glance at the broken chair. I saw his horn was glowing a pale blue, similar color to his eyes, and I saw two covered saucers float in behind him. He idly set them down at the set places on the table, and took a seat at the head of the table, with the other dish going to the space to his right.

Through all of this, he didn't spare me so much as a glance. Part of me was angry at that, but more than that I was just... confused.

I was freed from the stone prison! Shouldn't there be... either some kind of villain, or some kind of hero here? Some guards? Something?

I just shook my head and looked up at him. "What's going on?"

The stallion looked at me with that same, semi-lidded, bored expression. "Dinner."

I looked at the covered saucers on the table, and back at him, and I very nearly lost my temper again.

Gotta keep my cool. He clearly has no idea who I am. I can work with this!

I started to put on my best pouty face when he interjected.

"The spot on my right is for you, Cozy."

Wait... what?

I blinked at him in confusion a few times. I felt my stomach growling; it had been a while since I had eaten even before I was put into stone, and it seemed like breaking free of that prison had drained me even more. Still, I felt deeply suspicious of... well, everything, actually!

"Who are you? How do you know my name? What do you know about me?"

The stallion gave a very slow shrug.

"I'm your caretaker. I know everything about you. Now please, eat."

I eyed him suspiciously, but made my way around to my place at the table.

Caretaker? What in Tartarus is he going on about?

I got into my chair and removed the lid from the saucer. The scent that hit me made my mouth water; we were having a beansprout and cherry tomato salad with artichoke hearts and some kind of vinaigrette I was positive would be too expensive for me to have tried.

That just made the alarm bells ring louder in my head. I fixed my gaze on the stallion with all of the severity I could.

"Okay, you telling me you're my caretaker doesn't really answer my questions. Why am I here?"

The stallion, who had been about to take a bite of his meal, lifted his head to stare at me and slowly raised an eyebrow.

Oh, so he CAN make expressions.

"This is your home. You are here because it is safe here."

Well that just made my head spin with even more questions, but I seized back on my original thought.

"No, I mean how did I get here? Who brought me here, and why?"

"I did. Because this is where you are to live, now."

I grit my teeth and tried not to snarl at him for being so obstinate.

"Okay, but why do I live here now? Is this some kind of..."

I waved my hoof around at the room around me.

"... super fancy prison? Some kind of punishment?"

"Yes."

And just like that, he started eating, very slowly and silently. I just stared at him in dumb shock for a moment before rolling my eyes.

"So, what, you're supposed to reform me, or something? Is that it?"

The stallion took a moment to chew – seriously it's creepy how quiet he is – before answering.

"Do you wish to be reformed?"

"NO!" I practically exploded on him, and then reined myself in. I immediately regretted that; I needed to play along with whatever this ploy was if I wanted to get free! Now they were going to lock me in stone again!

But to my surprise, the stallion just shrugged.

"Then I guess not."

I stammered for a second at that.

"What? You... are you saying it's fine if I don't," and here I made little air-quotes with my hooves, " 'repent my evil ways' or whatever? You don't care?"

The stallion shrugged again. "I am your caretaker. I will not force you to do or say anything you don't want to do."

"Well that can't possibly be true! Like, like you said this was a sort of prison, right? So like, I can't just leave, right? You'd stop me then!"

The stallion shook his head. "It could be considered something like that, but I'm not going to force you to stay. It's safer here, though."

I groaned and rubbed my head. "Twilight sure did hire a weird pony to be my jailer."

The stallion ate in silence for a moment before I realized I had made a questionable assumption.

"Twilight did do all of... this, right?"

The stallion shook his head without responding. My eyes widened.

"Wait, but then... who did?"

The stallion glanced at me. "I did."

"Wait, you're saying this was your idea? But, well, pfft, obviously with Twilight's approval, or something—"

The stallion shook his head. "Nopony else knows you're here, Cozy."

I reeled back at that, and actually took flight reflexively. The stallion had started eating in silence again, unperturbed, but I needed answers.

"Wait, you're saying you snatched me away, took me here, and freed me in secret? What do you want from me?! Are you some kinda weirdo?!"

The stallion sighed. "I do not want anything from you. I am your caretaker."

"Yeah, yeah, you keep saying that! What does that even mean?!"

"It means I will see to it that you are safe, fed, and provided-for within these walls. Nothing else."

I took a second to digest that, really trying to think over the implications. The stallion didn't even resume eating; he just watched me process what he'd said and waited for the followup. I stammered a bit as I tried to formulate it.

"S-so... what you're saying is that it's not safe outside of here, because, like, Twilight and her friends will find out I'm free and they'll come after me, right?"

The stallion shook his head. "No, they won't. They're gone."

I reeled back in confusion. "What do you mean, gone? Gone where?"

The stallion gave another passive shrug. "Nopony you knew before is still around, Cozy."

I felt my heart drop into my stomach at that.

"... What?"