PB&J Challenge

by Omegathyst

Rating: teen
Tags: Young Six, Comedy, Random, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2417

On Twilight's last official day as headmare, she teaches her class a very important lesson with absolutely no secret intentions at all.

On Twilight's last official day as headmare, she teaches her class a very "important" lesson with absolutely no secret intentions at all.

Contains subtle shipping from a teacher, endless trolling, and romantic undertones.

Published 2020-01-06 18:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-06 18:30:01 UTC

PB and J, Perfect Together

The doors opened as the students flooded into Twilight’s classroom one last time. In a few days time, Starlight Glimmer would succeed the purple alicorn. Gallus recalled the times he’d see Twilight eyeing him and his friend with a grin, one holding back the possible details of their final lesson. Was she going to tell them about the birds and the bees? Why was her expression so sneaky, like she was about to steal all their candy from their dormrooms?

Gallus wondered if his friends felt the same way, when he stretched his arm to hold the door open for Sandbar.

“Thanks, dude,” Sandbar gave a gentle smile his way, galloping to his seat. Gallus kept his eyes on Sandbar for a few seconds longer, barely noticing the rest of the class passing by him with quiet “thank yous.”

“Hey Gallus, you ready for class?”

Gallus snapped out of his stare, locking eyes with Twilight’s batting eyelashes and soft smirk.

“C-Coming,” Gallus gulped, letting go of the door and taking his seat next to Sandbar.

“So, my wonderful class of creatures of all kinds,” Twilight began. “I have reserved the rest of the day to a lesson that’ll hopefully stay with all of you for the rest of your lives. Magic, honesty, kindness, loyalty, generosity, and laughter were qualities that were essential to your learning. But this lesson? This one is one I’ve discovered as a true testament to friendship.”

“And what would that be?” Smolder asked, tilting her head.

“Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

The classroom went silent, not even cricket chirps were audible in the room. Gallus’ beak nearly dropped to the ground, catching flies for a few moments before he spoke.

“What the buck?” Gallus snickered, covering his beak with his talon.

“You can’t be serious,” Smolder glared at Twilight. “You’re fucking with us!”

“I assure you, as much fun as that might be, I am not fucking with you,” Twilight smirked.

Smolder’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened as the scales around her cheeks turned red, Ocellus glancing up at the orange and red dragon.

“Why?” Ocellus turned to look at her teacher.

“This will be a test,” Twilight made eye contact with the bug-pony briefly, before looking at the rest of the class. “All of you will be split into pairs, where one of you will give very specific instructions on how to make a PB&J sandwich, and the recipient will follow them to a T. Gallus, you will write several instructions to give to me as an example for the class.”

With a bolt of her magic, a piece of paper and pencil manifested onto Gallus’ lap. Sandbar smiled as he held back laughter with a hoof over his mouth.

“Oh shut up,” Gallus rolled his eyes, grabbing the pencil and writing instructions. The students remained silent for several minutes, contemplating their own methods of madness, when Gallus stepped out of his seat.

“Thank you!” Twilight chirped, using her magic to take the paper from Gallus’ talon. Bringing it close, Twilight began speaking aloud.

“Number one: Take out two slices of bread,” Twilight said. “Well, Gallus, I’d sure love to. Where is it?”

“Where’s what?”

“The two slices of bread silly! How can you start a proper set of instructions without having all the ingredients?” Twilight said, smirking at Gallus.

“What in the ever-loving buck,” Gallus groaned. “You want us to create a step-for-step process to go to the grocery store, buy the ingredients, put the correct measurements on the bread, and put the sandwich together?”

“That’s right!”

Gallus never wanted to murder a pony more than that particular day.

Twilight, never taking her eyes off the blue griffon, used her magic to tear up the paper in front of her. Once the torn bits fluttered to the ground, Twilight turned to the rest of her class.

“I will start pairing up all of you, starting with Yona and Silverstream,” Twilight announced. “Smolder and Ocellus, Gallus and Sandbar…”

Gallus, still speechless after his interaction with Twilight, barely noticed Sandbar smirking at him out of the corner of his eye.

“So, I suppose I will be writing the instructions, Mr. ‘take out two slices of bread’?” Sandbar snickered.

“Go right ahead, it’s your funeral,” Gallus shrugged. “Do you know how many instructions it’s going to be? You’re going to hate Twilight and yourself for this.”

“Don’t worry, I got this.”

Ocellus’ mouth was gaping open as she stared at the one word Smolder wrote on the piece of paper:

Don’t

“Smolder!” Ocellus shouted over the dragon’s cackling. “Twilight is not going to accept this!”

“Okay, okay, fine,” Smolder wiped the tears from her eyes, taking out another piece of paper and writing on it. “Here you go.”

Ocellus looked over Smolder’s shoulder, reading the new line:

Ask Twilight how to make a PB&J sandwich.

“You think that’ll work?” Ocellus tilted her head.

“Only one way to find out,” Smolder handed the paper over to Ocellus.

Ocellus took the paper in her mouth and walked down the stairs to where Twilight was sitting, sipping away at a hot chocolate with marshmallows melting at the top.

“How do you make a PB&J?”

Twilight nearly snorted milk out of her nose, when she slowly placed the cup on the ground and wiped her lips clean.

“You tell me.”

“Dammit!”

“Ha! I did it!” A unicorn student laughed, holding a perfect PB&J sandwich with her magic. “Take that, you-”

“I said specific instructions on how to make a PB&J, not fabricate one with magic,” Twilight explained.

“Motherbucker!”

“Number seven: Grab a loaf of white sliced bread from the bakery section.”

Yona stared at the loaves of bread, grabbing the one that appeared exactly as the description stated it to be. Silverstream smiled at the yak, as she read the next step.

“Number eight: Walk to the grocery store cashier near the exit of the store.”

“Yona thinks this is going to take forever!” Yona groaned. “Why are ponies so weird?!”

“Number one: Take a deep breath; inhale and exhale.”

“Are you bucking serious?” Gallus growled.

“C’mon Gallus, you look like you’re about to explode. You deserve to breathe,” Sandbar protested, resting his hoof on the griffon’s shoulder.

Gallus’ glare held on for a few more moments, before inhaling and exhaling out of his mouth.

“Number two: Step out of your seat, standing on all four legs.”

Gallus did so, with a huff and a glance at the green pony behind him.

“Number three: Locate the exit door in the room, and open the door, walking out of the room.”

“At least I won’t have to push anyone aside,” Gallus noted, glancing at the one of the few creatures left in the room, sitting on the floor eating a hayburger. “How many steps till we actually get to the damn store?”

“Now now, Gallus,” Twilight piped up, her mouth full of hay. “Sandbar’s done a very good job so far, let him finish.”

“Sure, after a week I’m sure we’ll be halfway through,” Gallus rolled his eyes. “Ocellus, if Smolder’s still writing directions, I feel really sorry for you.”

“It’s okay,” Ocellus waved her hoof. “Good luck on the assignment!”

Ocellus turned around only to have another paper shoved in her face. Pulling it away from her face and analyzing the text, a dark blue blush appeared on her cheeks:

Ditch this dumb assignment and fuck me.

“What’s she going to do?” Smolder whispered, her breath tickling Ocellus’ ear. “Expel us tomorrow?”

Ocellus glued her eyes to the paper she was still holding, realizing what Smolder was saying. Ditching this assignment was an idea that sounded like music to the changeling’s ears, but the second part?

Ocellus dropped the paper, turning to Smolder with an even heavier blush than before.

“Number fifty-two: Locate the bakery section in the store.”

“Sandbar?” Gallus asked. “She can’t see us, why don’t we just stop following the directions and just get the shit we need?”

“Trust me, we should stick to the directions,” Sandbar insisted, staring at nopony in particular.

Just as Gallus was about to speak, he noticed Yona and Silverstream tossing jelly containers into a cart, not looking at the words on their papers. As they were walking down the aisle, a purple portal opened up, sucking the two inside and out of the store.

“What the-?!” Gallus’ eyes widened, covering his beak with one of his talons.

“Anyways, number fifty-two…”

“Yaks would never do something so petty!”

Yona stormed in circles around the area she was in now: Twilight’s classroom. When her earth-shaking stomps weren’t enough, Yona jumped up and down, causing Twilight to fall over face first into her hayburger. Silverstream gasped, covering her eyes from what was to unfold.

Twilight’s horn sparked to life, causing Yona to freeze in mid-air, surrounded by a pink bubble. Slowly, Twilight stood up, licking up a pickle hanging from her cheek.

“You two were doing so well,” Twilight sighed. “But alas, this trial of friendship was too much for you. No matter, I have a more helpful method to strengthen your friendship…”

Twilight dropped Yona, and shot a beam of magic at both her and Silverstream. As soon as the magical beams stopped, Silverstream shrieked at the sight of her claws and stumbled back.

“Yona cannot be a feathery chicken creature!” Silverstream gasped. “Teacher, reverse this at once!”

“I need some shears-”

“NO!” Silverstream snapped. “You will not shave the fur off my beautiful body!”

“I feel like I’m wearing ten jackets, Yona!” Yona snapped, turning to look at the body she already missed. “You should consider yourself so lucky to be a ‘chicken’!”

“Much better,” Twilight closed her eyes, pulling the hayburger close to her. “Now to check on the other students…”

Twilight smiled as she pulled up the others in her mind, seeing Sandbar behind Gallus as he flew over and grabbed a peanut butter jar, several of her other students already leaving the store and heading back to class, and Smolder and Ocellus-

Twilight dropped her hayburger, her ears flattening as she blushed.

“What about the assignment?!” Silverstream demanded, poking Twilight in the back with her new claws. “Do we get a free pass?”

Still blushing, a wide grin crept upon Twilight’s face.

“Give me the instructions written,” Twilight ordered. Yona pulled the paper out of her lengths of fur, handing it to Twilight through her friend’s protests.

Twilight lifted the paper, staring at the doodles of ink for a few seconds, before tearing up the paper into pieces.

“No!” Silverstream shrieked. “Yona can’t do this again!”

“And you’ll be writing the directions this time. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a head start!” Twilight grinned, shooting a magical beam at Yona and Silverstream, causing the two to disappear from her sight.

Focusing on more of her students, Twilight smirked as a hoof crept past her legs.

“First she switches our bodies, and now this!” Silverstream snarled, kicking away at the air.

“Yona, it’s going to be okay!” Yona insisted. “Besides, once Starlight hears about what she did, she’ll forgive us for what we’re going to do next.”

“And what would that be?” Silverstream asked. Yona grinned as she pulled her former body close and whispered.

“First, we’re going to ditch this dumb assignment…”

“I can’t believe you didn’t put directions on opening the bag!”

Gallus opened the door to Twilight’s classroom to see two of his classmates bickering away, an unopened loaf of bread between.

“Wonderful,” the mare rolled her eyes. “Go on, we’re going to end up with a blob of peanut butter and jelly on top of a wrapped loaf!”

“That’s at least a C plus, right Twilight?” the mare’s partner asked.

Twilight finished chewing the hayfries in her mouth, swallowing them and smiling at her students.

“Finish the instructions, and then I’ll decide,” Twilight told them.

“How come there were only three pairs of students at the store?” Gallus asked. “Come to think of it, there’s hardly anyone here.”

“Well,” Twilight closed her eyes, blushing once more. “It appears Smolder, Ocellus, Yona, Silverstream, and many others have ditched the assignment for other activities.”

“We can do that?” Sandbar asked, tilting his head.

“The assignment was only worth ten points,” Twilight shrugged. “It was a testament to your friendship, amongst other factors…”

“What are you talking about?” Sandbar asked.

“Let’s just say, it’s a shame you aren’t doing what your other friends are doing, I really saw chemistry between you two,” Twilight smirked.

Sandbar’s head remained tilted, while Gallus was blushing through his feathers, raising his middle talon at his teacher.

“D..Did you wanna earn the ten points anyway?” Sandbar asked.

Gallus lowered his talon, barely looking at Sandbar out of the corner of his eye before sighing.

“Why not, it’s not like we have anything better to do,” Gallus glared at Twilight’s shit-eating grin.

After an hour and a total of fifty more steps, the green pony leaning against Gallus’ shoulder as he placed the ingredients on the bread, Gallus stood over a perfect PB&J sandwich. Twilight teleported to where they were sitting, and stared at the sandwich for a few seconds, before taking a bite out of the sandwich.

“Mmm, twelve out of ten points,” Twilight decided, licking jelly from her mouth. “And a day off from class, I’ll send a letter to Starlight.”

“Buck yeah!” Sandbar jumped in the air, high-fiving Gallus’ talon. Twilight smiled, teleporting out of the room, leaving Gallus and Sandbar alone.

“H-Hey Gallus?” Sandbar asked, as his griffon friend stepped out of his chair. “There was one more step on here.”

“How? We’d already made a perfect sandwich!” Gallus protested.

“Just read it yourself, trust me,” Sandbar smiled, blushing as he looked at the floor beneath him.

Gallus stepped closer to Sandbar, picking up the last paper and reading it to himself.

He looked at Sandbar, blushing as well.

“Really?” Gallus asked.

“Twilight sees it, and I think you do too,” Sandbar admitted.

Gallus looked away, staring at the wall for a few seconds, before looking back at Sandbar. Stepping closer, Gallus lifted one of his talons and brushed some of Sandbar’s mane behind his ear. Sandbar leaned closer and pressed his lips against Gallus’ beak, feeling the griffon's talons resting on his shoulders.

Twilight stood outside of the classroom with her eyes closed, smiling as her ear flickered in the air.