Ruferd

A small orange Earth pony with a purple mane and tail taught her class. She caught student looking at her third eye. Her cutie mark matched it exactly. Most would be creeped out by the eye in the middle of her forehead. 'Screw them' Gritty Blossom thought to herself. Her doors burst open. A cadet got distracted and got punched in the face. "You have one minute to explain why you have interrupted my class. Go."

The guard gulped. He knew it was never wise to upset this women. "P-princess Celestia seeks audience with you." he stuttered.

Gritty Blossom's half closed eyes open a slight bit. "Do you know how to teach someone self defense?" she calmly asked the stuttering guard.

The guard quickly nodded. "Yes Ma'am, Gritty Blossom Ma'am!" he said, saluting.

Gritty Blossom nodded. "That is what I am teaching today. You will teach my class in my stead, while I go to talk to Celestia." She then hopped off her stool and trotted out of the room. She then made her way to the throne room. She caught sight of Celestia talking to a brown Guard. He stepped away at the sight of Gritty Blossom, yet held a kind soft smile on his face. "Your Majesty." Gritty Blossom firmly said, giving only a slight bow.

Celestia motioned for Gritty Blossom to approach. "I wish I have called you for tea or such, but I'm afraid I have bad news instead." Celestia paused and took a breath.

"Before you continue, Celestia, I have a question." Gritty Blossom interrupted. Celestia nodded to let her ask. "Why is there a giant hole in your window?". A gentle breeze floated through the air.

Celestia frowned. She forgot to get that fixed. "Blutarch decided to be rude." she simply said. "But the breeze is nice. But we have more pressing matters. I have gained information from a pony named Gear Crank. The Blue Eyed Cult has summoned a demon that takes the body of a dead child. This false child will gain friends and family, only to betray them all and devour their souls. I at first wanted you to kill it, but after discussion with my Guard... The demon strikes once the body decays too much. Killing it would only let it roam free to take another dead child. I want you and a team of ponies you hoof select to find and capture this demon. I will then send it to Tartarus for it to live for all eternity. Gear Crank will help you."

Gritty Blossom gave a single nod. "Am I right to guess that Gear Crank is the one who walked in while we were talking and is currently behind me?" Celestia nodded. Gritty Blossom turned around and inspected the copper coated Earth pony with a long silver mane. He had deep blue eyes.

Gear Crank took a step back. "I would ask how you could tell I was behind you, but you're the best guard trainer. So you would hold much skill."

"No cutie mark, I see." Gritty commented, slowly walking around Gear Crank.

"I actually prefer to call them talent symbol. Because, where the Tartarus does the 'cutie' bit come from?" Gear Crank replied.

"So, how can you help us with capturing this demon?" Gritty Blossom asked.

Gear Crank let out a grin. "I know how they prepared his body. What he needs to eat will help us find where he is." Gear Crank let out a chuckle. "So don't worry. We will capture him".
*
SWEET APPLE ACRES
*

Applebloom yawned. She then stiffened her yawn. She was bored, but preferred boredom to almost dying. She was in her room with Ruferd. "Why ya tying all the blankets and whatnot together?" Applebloom asked.

Diamond Stroke looked up. "What's it look like I'm doing?"

Applebloom only stared. "Trying to make a rope of sorts? Ruferd, I command you to stop and stay with your commanding officer." Applebloom watched as Ruferd stopped his tying. "Sorry you three, but we're grounded. We ain't supposed to leave." Applebloom got up and walked to her bed, her ball chain dragging along the ground. "Wait a minute." She looked at her reflection, and tossed off her white and black striped prison hat.

Discord frowned. "Do you not like- OOMPH!" Discord found himself on the ground as he was tackled by Ruferd.

"Yay! Chaos man return! Hooray!" Ruferd wagged Ruferd's tail. Ruferd did not understand why, but Ruferd felt like Ruferd could relate to Chaos man. Diamond Stroke looked at Discord. 'Isn't this a statue in Canterlot Gardens? And why do I feel like I can trust him? Is it because he's as mixed mashed as me, yet formed in a complex system of perfection?"

Discord chuckled as he got up. He patted Ruferd's head and put down a platter of fried fish, cooked with a tasty recipe. Discord thought for a moment, then added some meat from beyond the country of Equestia. Ruferd let out a gasp and a squeal of joy. He then shoved his face in the food and began eating.

Ruferd wagged his tail as Ruferd ate the food. "Sooo- nph nom- good!" Diamond Stroke also agreed that the food was tasty. But he was conflicted. He was eating meat. True, some ponies ate pork. But this meat was something different. 'But it is soo good!'.

Discord and Applebloom watched as Ruferd ate eagerly. Discord watched with amusement and slight happiness that somepony actually enjoyed his steak. Applebloom watched in a mix of horror and amusement. It was kinda funny to see Ruferd eat like a pig. But ponies didn't really like meat, yet Ruferd was eating the fish and weird stuff like it was the best food ever.

"So, I hear you got in trouble for having fun." Discord said, dressed once again like an old lady. He sat down on a rocking chair made of tiny rocking chairs.

Ruferd gave a positive grunt and nod.. Applebloom scratched the back of her head. "Yeah...we did. But we've had more that enough adventure for today."

Discord nodded as he got up. He was now in blue jeans, had a bushy brown mustache and a yellow turtleneck sweater that said "Put Dad Joke Here". "oh yeah?" Discord asked jerking his claw towards the rope beneath the window. "Then what's that?" Discord sighed and looked rather disappointed as he sat down on the bed. "Look. I know you kids want to be rebellious, but you just- OH I can't take it any more!" Discord leaped into the air, laughing and tearing off his clothes. "I can't be serious in a situation like this! If you want to break out of your room just to go play, go for it! Bye now!" With a snap of his paw, he and the things he made were gone. Minus the food. Mainly because Ruferd finished eating it.

Applebloom watched as Ruferd licked his lips in the same manner a dog licks their chops. She giggled as she imagined Ruferd as Winona. She then frowned as she saw Ruferd grab the rope he made. "What do ya think you're doing? I command you to stay."

Diamond Stroke considered his words as he tied the rope to the bed and threw the rest out the window. He wanted to say 'No buck you I'll do what I want because I deserve fun'. But that was wrong because he would be cussing at a child. Also he didn't want Ruferd cussing. So he settled for something else. "No. I'm going to hang out with Diamond Tiara. I don't want to have a militarist mind, so The Program is on standby."

Applebloom now glared. "Ya gonna get in trouble! Anywho, i can see why Ruferd wants to be around Diamond Tiara, but why you?"

Diamond Stroke and Ruferd felt each other, then looked at Applebloom. "We share the same body, and being in a room for punishment isn't fun. Plus Chaos man says we should 'go for it'. So... BYE!"

Applebloom raced to the window as Ruferd jumped out with the rope. She saw him tangled up in it five feet from the bottom. "That could have gone better." Applebloom said. Ruferd quickly untangled himself and ran off, waving bye to Applebloom. With his left hoof. Applebloom shuddered as she remembered how his arm was broken and twisted the wrong way. She began to pull back up the rope when Applejack walked in the room.

Applejack stared at her sister as Applebloom pulled on her bed-sheet rope. Applebloom hummed as she turned around and froze. The two sisters stared at each other. "Uhh.... This ain't what it looks like." Applebloom slowly said.

"Applebloom. I'm gonna ask ya once. Where is Ruferd?" Applejack said.

"Uhhhhh..... Blame Discord." Applebloom replied.

"But why!? How do you accuse me of nothing while I jump to conclusions! Said Discord as he read a book. He then tossed the book behind him." said Discord as he read a book. He then tossed the book behind him. "Bye now, Japple Ack. With a snap of his fingers, he left." With a snap of his fingers, Discord left.
*
ELSEWHERE
*

Diamond Tiara groaned as she looked out her window. Sure, she had a lot of stuff in her room, but she was still bored. Diamond Tiara glanced towards her window. Ruferd was there. Diamond sighed as she looked away. "Wait a minute." She turned back to her window and opened it. "This is the second floor! How did you get up here!? Ugh! And why does your breath smell so bad?" She wrinkled her nose at the stench.

"I climbed! And Mister Chaos man gave me lots of tasty meat and fish!" Ruferd said, wagging his tail. "Lets go to the neat library!"

Diamond Tiara had many things going through her head. But she needed to say the most important. "I can't go. Mom grounded me."

Ruferd tilted his head as Scootaloo clambered in. "So?"

"Before you ask, everypony was getting too touchy at the hospital, despite the fact I'm fine. Ruferd healed me, simple as that. So I'm heading to that library." Scootaloo said with a slightly annoyed tone. "Anyways, I got the boxcars ready. So back some snacks or whatever if you want."

Diamond Tiara looked at the two. "I. Am. Grounded." she slowly said. Diamond Tiara pointed at Scootaloo. "You. Almost. Died. Your wing. Almost. Fell off." She now pointed to Ruferd. "You broke your arm. Not almost, but did."

"Ugh! Okay, I understand you want a calm day from all the excitement! And the Library is extremely peaceful. So pack some snacks and lets go." Diamond Stroke said. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara stared at him. "Yes, I know I sound like a grown up right now. I can use different voices and I do it out of habit."

Diamond Tiara blinked. She then noticed Ruferd's tail was drooping. "Fine. I'll go." Ruferd's tail began wagging again. "But only because you're so cute!" Diamond Tiara opened the door and stared at Randolph. "Uhh..."

Randolph dropped a saddlebag at her hooves. "I have prepared snacks of apples, chocolate, and carrots. Your friend has supplies in her contraption. You are to return before dark. You are also not to mention my knowing of this what so ever. In the bag in also six bottles of water. Now leave, before I notice. Leave a note. If that... child wants fish, he must catch it himself." With that, Randolph closed the doors.

Diamond Tiara quickly wrote the note. Ruferd wagged his tail as they left through the window. Diamond Tiara clambered into the front boxcar as Ruferd and Scootaloo hitched themselves up. The two began to trot. Diamond Tiara now realized her silver trashcan was missing. "We only became friends literally today. Why are you doing this for me?"

Scootaloo grunted. "Because if you made friends with Ruferd, you can't be that bad. And also the fact you got grounded after you almost died... yeah there was enough reasons. It may take a while, so take a nap or something."

Diamond Tiara did just that.
*
AN HOUR OR SUCH LATER
*

Diamond Tiara felt something poke her nose. "Boop". She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Diamond Tiara smacked her lips together as she opened her eyes.

"Whoa. That is awesome." Diamond Tiara said as she looked t the castle before her.

"I know!" Ruferd said, his tail wagging happily. "It's huge, old, and has awesome books! Scootaloo and I even replaced the bridge! I have learned that my hooves can interact with clouds!"

Diamond Tiara hopped out the boxcar and saw a sturdy rope bridge with fresh wooden planks. "Wow. That's amazing."

Ruferd gave a big grin. "Just wait until you see the library! Now come on!"

The three continued through the castle, avoiding all weird looking parts of the floor. They thought those were traps. Scootaloo threw a heavy rock at a part of a floor, standing a good fifty feet away. A twenty foot wide hole opened up for five seconds, before closing. "Yeah, nopony touch any weird floor parts."

They soon reached the library. Ruferd galloped to a book he was reading. Most of his arm was still intact. Scootaloo poked it with a stick. The arm twitched as Ruferd ran past it. "Is this creepy, cool, or disgusting?" Scootaloo said as she poked it with a stick again. Diamond Tiara chose not to answer.

"What cha reading, Ruferd?" Diamond Tiara said as she walked a good distance around the arm. She looked over Ruferd's shoulder and saw him reading a book about chickens. He kept looking away from the book to stare at Scootaloo. It finally clicked to Diamond Tiara, and she fell over laughing.

Scootaloo glanced up from the arm. "Reading something funny?" she asked. Ruferd giggled at Diamond Tiara rolling on the floor. The arm wiggled somewhat in time with his laughter. Scootaloo then saw a picture of a chicken on a page in the book. "Hey! I am not a chicken!"

This only made Diamond Tiara laugh harder. "I-I can't hahaha br-ea-ea-th hahaha" she gasped. Diamond Tiara dragged herself away. Every time she looked back at Scootaloo or Ruferd, she would burst out laughing again. "Gotta. Get. Away" she gasped as she dragged herself behind a bookcase. It took a full ten minutes before she could breath normally. She turned to her left and saw Banana Pie.

'Oh noz! Iz caught!' "Hello. You want banan?" Banana Pie hoped his casual catchphrase would stop her from questioning anything.

"Uh... no thank you." Diamond Tiara said. She then saw a griffon perched on top of a bookcase. "H-hello" she stuttered. Diamond Tiara then ran from the yellow pony and tried to hide behind Ruferd.

Ruferd gave Diamond Tiara a pat on the head. "You wanna read this story with me? It's called 'The Legends of Grogar, Father of Monsters'. It seems like he's really old!" Ruferd then pulled out a stone tablet that whispered to him. "I found this in a booby trapped room. Oh! Hello, banana vendor! what are you doing here?" Ruferd tilted his head in confusion.

"Heloz! I seez you go in forest. I wonder. Why? So, I follow to make sure you safe!" Banana Pie answered. He didn't like to lie. But then again, that statement wasn't exactly a lie.

"Oh come on! This was suppose to be a secret spot!" Scootaloo shouted, kicking a pebble with her right arm. She had collected a tapestry of a shadow pony, but if ponies wanted to preserve the castle too much, she'd have to return a lot of cool stuff she found, if not all of it. "Hmp!" Scootaloo sat down and crossed her forelegs.

"Don't worry! We promise to keep it a secret!" Banana Pie said. He mentally kicked himself in the flank for speaking properly.

"Pinkie Promise?" Scootaloo asked, looking at him. "That goes for you too, mister griffon."

Gona groaned and left his perch. "Fine! But only if you promise you never saw me." Scootaloo tilted her head at this. The three then made Pinkie Promises not to tell.

Ruferd clapped his hooves together. "Huh." Ruferd then put his hooves together and tried to pull them away, with the idea of 'holding' them together. They stayed together. "I can grip with my hooves!" Ruferd whispered in awe. Diamond Tiara gave him a pat on the head.

Diamond Stroke never thought of that before. 'How do we grab with our hooves? Is it magic or something?' he thought to himself. Error: Confusion. Unknown Data. Holding: Magic Field theory. Error. Arm synced in attempt. Warning: Arm already replaced. Error. 'That can't be good' Diamond Stroke thought.

Diamond Tiara screamed. "It's moving it's moving holy guacamole it's alive!" she shrieked as the arm began to move wildly. It began moving like an inch worm, bending to create enough motion to pull itself forward. It sprung into the air. The arm landed on Diamond Tiara's tiara. "Ew gross no get it off!" Diamond Tiara quickly hit it and her tiara off her head.

Ruferd watched as his separated arm began to attack his left arm. System data sync. Error sync incomplete. Left arm original Data: Error can not translate. Diamond Stroke could feel the corrupted information. The detached arm remembered it was trying to heal damage from being smashed. The current arm said the last arm was too damaged, and the body dropped most of it to make a new one. Because of how quick the detached arm was smashed, it likely did not receive that data and was still trying to repair itself. Ruferd grabbed his arm. "I am repaired. You are no longer needed." With that, the arm stopped moving. It stopped creating energy and became dead.

"Don't worry Diamond Tiara. It's dead now." Ruferd tossed the arm though the hole he made from hitting the rock yesterday.

Gona looked out a window. He saw the Element Bearers across the bridge. "Cripe." he said. He ran to the hall to look for a quick way out. Down the hall was a pack of timberwolves. "Double cripe." He flew back to the library. "I got bad news and peeved timberwolves. Which do you want because they're both coming. I'm leaving through the hole. See ya." Gona zoomed through the hole in the wall and saw another pack of timberwolves. "DON'T LEAVE THROUGH THE HOLE! THERE'S MORE TIMBERWOLVES!" Gona prayed that the experiment worked properly.

Applejack rushed inside as she heard the shout. Her friends followed immediately. They didn't expect what they saw.

Scootaloo watched in amazement as Ruferd smashed into the timberwolves. He was literally tearing them to shreds. "The bad news won't be any problem." Scootaloo said to herself. Diamond Tiara nodded beside her. She and Banana Pie were munching on bananas. Eating more out of not being to do anything else other then cowering, than out of hunger.

Ruferd spat out a branch. Warning: Timber Wolf remains Status: Reassembling. Warning: Enemy has massive increase in strength. System ErRor. Warning, my friend. If you choose to battle this being, you have a seventy nine percent chance of getting torn apart. ErRor. Ruferd shook his head. Diamond Stroke had no idea where that voice came from. It oddly sounded a lot like Fancy Pants. Down to the accent.

A huge timberwolf, almost tall enough for its head to reach the high ceiling, stood above Ruferd. Applejack snorted and got ready to charge. She was held back by Twilight's magic. She knew she shouldn't say nothing, else the timberwolf would kill them all. Ruferd looked up and glared at the massive wooden creature. It snarled in return.

Ruferd, 'Program', and Diamond Stroke, I apologize in advance. What I am about to do will sever our vocal cords. And quite possibly our lungs. System Crash. Ears deactivated.

A sound like demons came from Ruferd. His neck seemed to catch fire and glow as bright as the very sun. It sounded low and high. Everypony held their ears down. The timberwolf screamed. It ran, parts falling off as it's wood split. "AHHHH!" Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo screamed in pain. The sound shook the whole castle. The timberwolf ran for it's life, running until it was far from the castle. Finally, the sound stopped.

Ruferd knew something was wrong. Warning: Extremely low on healing energy reserves.

Fluttershy had fainted during the scream. But the sound forced her to awake. She slowly got to her hooves. Normally, she would just cower. But Ruferd was on his knees. She had to make sure he was alright. "Ruferd?" she asked. Fluttershy couldn't hear herself. She tried again, louder. "Ruferd!". Nothing. "Ruferd!" this time, she screamed. Still nothing. Ruferd trotted over to her. He gave a smile. Fluttershy almost fainted. He had blood on his teeth. Ruferd coughed, and blood came up. He patted Fluttershy on the head. Ruferd then began dragging her friends and putting them in the boxcars. Fluttershy, not knowing what to do, helped.

Diamond Tiara awoke. "OW! THERE'S A LOUD RINGING IN MY EARS. I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF. AM I YELLING?" she asked. She looked at Ruferd, who gave a simple nod. "OH. WHY IS THERE BLOOD ON YOUR FACE?" Diamond Tiara asked. Ruferd pointed at his neck. "OH. SHOULD I BE WORRIED? OR ARE YOU FINE? BECAUSE YOU LOST AN ARM AND GREW A NEW ONE WHILE THE OTHER STAYED ALIVE. SO YOU'RE FINE. RIGHT?" Ruferd gave a confused look.

"Stop screaming, okay? I have a huge headache." Scootaloo shoved her hoof in Diamond Tiara's mouth. "Just shut up. Shh. Why can I hear while everypony else is unconscious. It makes no sense. You can't hear me can you?" Scootaloo looked at Ruferd and Fluttershy. "No one can hear me... Peeved cuss dangnabbit damn that all the swears I actually even know because how does buck become a swear in certain context?" Scootaloo shouted. Only Ruferd gave her a glare.

Diamond Tiara had no clue as what to do, so she helped Ruferd stuff everypony in the back boxcar. All the stuff that was collected, even a weird stone book that felt like it was evil, was put in the front boxcar. Ruferd and Scootaloo hitched themselves up. They left the castle with Fluttershy, Diamond Tiara and Banana Pie walking beside. They encountered a single timberwolf on their way out of the Everfree. It ran the moment it saw Ruferd.

The Element bearers were returned home. Ruferd put Rainbow Dash on his back and leaped into the cloud mansion to put her in her bed. Soon, everypony was brought home. They left the train at Sweet Apple Acres.

"Glargule". Bic Mac looked down at Ruferd. He had a silly little smile, and blood dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. Ruferd tilted his head and let out another gurgle. This one sounded more like a word.

"You sure you don't need a doctor?" Big Mac asked. Ruferd nodded and pointed towards a glass case on the mantle. It held his left foreleg. In the glass was a silver flower. The leg twitched. Big Mac shuddered. "If you say so. You can regrow your body parts, after all.

"Eeyup! Wow, it hurts to talk. Good news is, I can eat again! I need sugar." Ruferd exclaimed. "And I need the sugar for healing purposes."

Big Mac gave a single nod. "Eyup". He brought the sugar from the kitchen to Ruferd. "You alright Granny?" Big Mac asked.

Granny Smith realized she was being talked to. She shook her head. "I'm as fit as a fiddle! But I'm just worried about Ruferd there. He brought Applejack back fine, but he's bleeding from his mouth. And Doctor Thomas said he's fine."

"Well, he is fine!" Discord stated. He then began to pace around the kitchen. "At l-least, I think he is. I can't look into his mind with ease. And whenever I do, I hear a silence screaming at me. I know I'm the spirit of chaos, but still! Screaming silence... Ruferd's at the table." Discord snapped his claws, and a platter of fish and steak appeared in front of Ruferd. This time however, there was also a massive bowl of salad. Ruferd stopped paying attention to Discord and began eating. "Now then. I suggest you all try to forget, or at least ignore, Ruferd's abilities. Make sure he eats some fish with his supper. I will take my leave now.". Discord walked out the house. The Apple Family did as they were told.
*
SCAMMER SIBLINGS WAGON
*

Susan hummed to herself as she pet Rule Heart. The doe nuzzled against her. "I AM SUPER BORED!" Flim proclaimed, draping himself over Susan's back. "B. O. R. E. D. BORED."

Susan laughed. "Maybe we could sing a song?" she suggested.

"Great idea! Let's sing 'a thousand bottles of wine on the wall'!" Flim cheered.

Flam almost stopped driving at that. "NO! Sweet apple cider, no! I am not going to drive while you sing that!" Flam still had no idea why he agreed to accepting Susan as family. But still, she was a sweet kid. 'Hm. She's not actually a kid, but she acts like one...'

Susan began to ponder. "Hmm... Do you two have some sort of business song?" she asked. Rule Heart got up and nuzzled Flam.

"Yes! Yes we do." Flam quickly said. "But, we need to make some changes to it."

Flim gasped, then began giggling. "What's wrong with our song? I thought it was fine!". Flam nodded his head to Susan. "Ah. Good point, brother. We may need to include the factor of my insanity now as well." Flim said. He then sneezed, before bursting into laughter.

"Yes, that too. It should keep us busy for the trip." Flam said. He gave Susan and Flim a smile. "Let's make music!"
*
BELT DISPATCH CREW
*

Iron Taz groaned. "Look, it'll be simple. I go there, pick up the two, and you guys can pick up a few foals for your plans. We kill anyone who sees us. Stitch Heart gets as many as he needs."

Story Bringer shook head head slowly. "This is not how we do things! We are BELT. Blue Eyed Life Team. Life. Team. We don't go around killing innocents. Celestia only misunderstood. But we can show her Ruferd isn't a monster."

Iron Taz sighed. "Okay. I will correct myself. Don't kill anyone who sees us. Kill anyone who disagrees or goes against us." He gave a calm nod to Story Bringer.

"What?" Story Bringer shook his head. His friends moved closer to him. "What?" Somepony threw a punch, knocking him to the ground. "No." They began beating him. "No. NO! NOOOO!!!"
*
BLU MANSION
*

"Noooo! I died again!" Abigail cried out. She shoved the machine with her arms. "Stupid arcade... thingy." She sat down and rubbed her forearms together. She then heard her master calling. "Coming, Master!" She quickly got on her uniform. Someone grabbed her from behind. "MASTER! HELP mph!" A red cloth covered her mouth.

"Sorry Missy. If I wasn't doing a quick job, I could make this more enjoyable for the both of us." Gilus whispered. He then noticed that Abigail wasn't breathing, but was still stiff. "Breath and this can all be over, and I get paid. If not, I always got my claws to- OOF!" A huge force rammed into him.

"KILLING YOU IS FULL TIME JOB NOW!" Heavy Tank Yak roared. Redmond Junior stood behind him, a worried smile on his face. He raced over to Abigail.

"Don't worry, we're here to help." he said. He looked back to Heavy Tank Yak, and saw a large BLU stallion smash into him. "NO! Stop!"

Gilus got up. "Heh. Once Tank takes care of The BLU Tank, I'll kill him and you." he said.

Abigail crawled slowly behind Redmond JR. "Not that I'm ungrateful," she asked while trying to stand, "but why the bloody cussword are you saving me?"

Redmond JR helped her up. "Because my life is too confusing, so I'm saying I'm an entirely different being. BLU MARRE! DON'T KILL MY HEAVY! JUST MY SNIPER!"

Blutarch flew into the room, electricity sparking around him. His chair crashed into Gilus the RED Sniper. "Tank, stop." The BLU Tank stopped his attempt at breaking The RED Tank's neck. Gilus leaped away from the chair towards Redmond JR. A burst of lightning flew from Blutarch, killed Gilus. "Tank, release our guest. He may be a savage, but we are gentlemann. And help me up. I am stuck on my side."
*
28 MINUTES LATER
*

Heavy Tank Yak munched on cake. He wasn't much for tea. "Where is cocoa? Heavy Tank Yak want." Abigail quickly leaped up to prepare it. "Blu child has no need to make tasty drink for Yak. He will make it himself."

"Please let me make it." Abigail quickly said. "I need something to do after... almost dying."

"I'll go with you!" Redmond JR quickly spoke up. "I do know how to preform self defense, in case some others try to get you."

Abigail smiled. "Thank you. Come on, kitchen is this way." The two walked in the empty halls together, neither sure what should be said. "Why were they after me?" Abigail quietly asked.

Redmond Junior let out a mix of a chuckle and a groan. "Redmond wanted to gain some by making Blutarch lose some. So he went after you."

Abigail thought about this. "But I'm just a maid. Why would I be important? Does Redmond not have maids?"

Redmond JR thought about that. "None with as a sweet spirit as you." he decided to answer. They reached the kitchen. "Though I wonder, why are your legs blue like stockings, while the rest of you is black?"

Abigail pondered this as she stepped over some broken glass to reach the pots. "I'm guessing I get it from my mother? All I know is that my father was blue. Can you grab a broom from the closet to clean this up?"

"Oh. Sure." Redmond JR gave Abigail an odd look as he opened the kitchen closet. 'Does she not know or something?' he thought to himself. "So, what do you know about your father?" Redmond JR asked as he tried to sweep with the broom in his mouth. He was failing.

Abigail took the broom and quickly swept up the mess. The water was boiling now. She added the mix. "I trust you can stir?" Redmond Junior gave a nod. Abigail sat on a stool in an odd manner.She sat her flank down on the stool and set her back strait. Abigail crossed her left leg over her right, and put her front hooves were in the cradle of her lap. Her maid uniform ruffled a bit at this. "I don't know much of my father, and know nothing of my mother. Master told me my father was cruel, and that I was lucky I never got to know him. Master never mentions Mother, so I never asked. Now let me stir while you tell me about your parents."

Redmond JR sat down on the chair properly. "Okay. I'm not sure who has a weirder parent origin. You, or me?". He paused while he thought of what to say. "Because of certain things, my grandfather can at the same time be my dad? While my dad could be my brother?"

Abigail turned her head towards Redmond Junior and let out a small, fake gasp. "Oh my! Scandalous!" she said in an interested tone. She poured the cocoa in a tea pot.

Redmond JR stared. "You really don't know, do you?" he asked. Abigail gave a confused look. "Okay. Long story short as cuss, I'm a clone of Redmond met to continue the Marre War when he passes, and your the daughter of Blutarch. I'm not sure if you're meant to continue the war."

Abigail gave an awkward laugh. She quickly stopped at the serious expression on Redmond Junior's face. She put the tea pot on a tray with four mugs. "But Master... Master always says Father was a cruel man, undeserving of love. Master is the most kind person I know. Surely, you are mistaken?"

"Nope." Redmond JR replied simply. The two left the kitchen and walked back to the tea room. Abigail quickly put the tray down in front of Heavy Tank Yak. She then turned and hugged Blutarch.

Blutarch arched his left eyebrow. "What's this about?" he asked, not returning the hug.

Abigail only hugged tighter. "Redmond Junior told me. And now I am telling you. You are worthy of being loved." she whispered in his ear. She then felt a strong hug.

Blutarch hugged his daughter. He then slowly pushed her away. "So, I imagine you have questions." he stated. Blutarch took a sip of his tea.

Abigail had so many questions. But she now wondered a certain one. "Who is my mother?" she asked. Blutarch gave a small smile. BLU Tank and RED Tank choked on their drinks. Redmond Junior just laughed. A bit too much. He fell off his chair and said something about choking.

Blutarch took another sip of tea. "Before I answer that, I will explain a few things. My brother and I had a feud over a thousand years ago over who should be Queen of Equestia. We had, or rather I had, invented an immortality machine. Redmond copied me. About twenty years ago, we decided we were getting too old for our Marre War. We decided we needed heirs. Redmond thought of a self impregnation device, but lacked the scientist to craft such a thing. In an attempt to one up my brother, I had it made. During the same time, Redmond somehow managed to make a cloning facility. Twelve years ago, Redmond made a successful clone. I had a daughter. So I am both your father, and your mother."

Abigail blinked. She had no idea what to say. She now also knew why Celestia chugged tea in huge gulps strait from the pot when she was stressed. Abigail grabbed the tea pot and began chugging.

"Chug chug chug chug." Heavy Tank Yak chanted. BLU Tank gave him a look. "What? Is chugging tradition to chant!" Abigail finished chugging, then proceeded to smash the tea pot over her horn. Heavy Tank Yak got off his chair and smashed it over his head. It was sturdy, so he felt it hit hard through all his fur. He then trampled it. Redmond JR smashed an empty beer bottle over his own head. The scent of ash filled the air. For the hell of it, Blutarch smashed his teacup against the table. They all looked tawards BLU Tank.

Stern Gazer looked at everypony staring at him. He then proceeded to throw the table so it smashed against the wall. Everypony cheered. "We sometimes do the stupidest things." Redmond Junior proclaimed. "But we sure do have fun while doing them."

Abigail left the room and came back with a broom, a trash bin, and a really really long scroll with five bottles of ink and twelve quills. "Now then, time to start asking!"
*
TIME TURNER'S AWESOME RESIDENCE DOING INVENTION STUFF (Or TTARDIS. TARDIS for short.)
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Time Turner groaned. "I feel like a just got ran over by a train..." he uttered.

"Ya kinda did, Doc. And ya did it on purpose." Time Turner then felt a bone crushing hug. "I'm so glad we got you home safe! Don't ever do something like that again! And if you do, tell me rather then just hurting yourself." Ditsy said.

"D-derpy! You're- crushing me!" Time Turner wheezed. Derpy let him go with a quick release.

"I'm so sorry Doc I didn't mean to hurt I'm sorry Doc let me make it up to you I can-"

"Derpy. Shhh. I'm thinking." Time Turner said as he got off his couch. "Button Mash told me something ealier... No. He didn't tell me. I overheard. Ah! Yes! It's time for me to make a house call! If I'm correct... We need to steal the train from Sweet Apple Acres!" he proclaimed proudly.

"Maybe ya outa keep sleeping, Doc. I made some blueberry muffins in case you're hungry." Ditsy slowly said. The Doc hated anything bad. So he must really be out of it if he had ideas of stealing.

"No, no. Well, maybe. BUT! No. YES. NO! YES. Well, yes and no. Derpy you have to trust me. I need to take that train so I can return it to- well, I can't tell you. Now then, pack my dark blue bag. The Doctor is in."
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