Chapters Hate. Hate was what Starlight felt. She hated the ponies around her. She hated the way Equestria was. She hated her whole life . She hadn’t been happy in who knew how long. She had no family, no friends. Well, she did have one friend. She hadn’t seen him in years, though, not since they were foals. He’d probably forgotten about her…
It wasn’t like she didn’t try to make new friends though. She didn’t want to be alone. But nopony else ever gave her a chance to be their friend. Not that she was bullied by them, but sometimes she wished she was. At least then they wouldn't ignore her. They hardly ever looked at her. She never understood why they acted the way they did. Her only theory was because they were all different. She thought it made them think that they were better than her. It was the reason Sunburst was taken from her. His parents thought he was better than her once he got his cutie mark, once he was different , so they sent him off to Canterlot. And now they were ignoring her because she was different. There was no other explanation. So she eventually stopped trying to make friends. It wasn't like anypony cared. Even if she did find a friend, they’d probably just be taken away from her, too.
She didn’t just lay around however, lying in her sorrow. She took her hate for how things were and let it drive her. She was determined to change things. She studied and practiced magic obsessively, to the point where she rivaled the students under Celestia, and spent many sleepless nights lying awake in her bed, trying to come up with a way to change things. It was hard on her. There were many days when her sadness and loneliness engulfed her, telling her to just break down and give up. But she always took that sadness and loneliness and let it fuel her fire. She couldn’t break down. She knew if she did, she’d never get back up.
So Starlight went on, day and night, alone into adulthood, intending to eliminate the differences between ponies. She knew she had something to do with their cutie marks. Getting one was what made ponies different. If she could get rid of them, they'd all be the same. They'd have no reason to think that they were better than her, better than anypony. And if nopony thought they were better than any other pony, then everypony's life would be better. And more importantly, she wouldn't be so ignored .
She convinced herself of this reasoning, and she had proof of her theory: herself. She didn't have a cutie mark, and she didn't feel superior to any other pony. She was the oldest pony in Sire's Hollow without one, maybe all of Equestria. It was uncommon for anypony older than a decade to not have a cutie mark, and completely unheard of for anypony as old as Starlight now was. To be fair, she went out of her way to make sure she didn't get one, taking steps to make sure that, despite her insistence on studying, she didn't receive one. She didn't want to treat other ponies the way the ponies of Sire's Hollow treated her. She led as mundane of a life as she possibly could. She rarely went out, unless it was necessary, and when she did, she didn't talk to anypony unless it was necessary. But it wasn't like they tried to talk to her anyway. They didn't want to. No pony would ever give her the time of day.
Outside of studying magic, Starlight didn't do much else, although she did sometimes talk to the colts and fillies, especially ones without cutie marks. She didn’t talk about anything that would get her in trouble, of course, like how she hated cutie marks, or how she would one day create a perfectly uniform and homogenous society, but she did try to plant seeds in their minds. It was little comments she made, like telling them nopony was better than any other, or saying how it would be nice if everypony were equal. She hoped that, even if the idea didn’t take hold, they’d at least not turn out like their parents, not treat each other the way they treated her. She was doubtful, however. Most of them liked her, and they’d come up to her to talk to her, typically about her lack of a cutie mark herself, until they got their cutie marks. After that, they’d ignore her like everypony else. It wasn’t just her, though. Even as she talked to them, they treated each other that way, too. She hated to see it. Although, she was past trying to stick up for anypony past a certain age. The times she had stuck up for them, they didn’t even offer her a simple “thank you”. They just went on treating her the same way as the bullies. It wasn’t the fact that she didn’t have a cutie mark, it was that they did . Cutie marks created differences, which bred arrogance, which bred hate. Their cutie marks filled her life with hate.
Starlight knew her hate for them was misguided, though. It wasn’t their fault they got cutie marks. They probably didn’t even realize what they were doing. She just wished that just one of them would open their eyes and see how isolated she was. It would take almost no effort to just stop and say “hello”. Could they really not see how lonely she was?
She knew it wouldn’t change, however, at least not until she changed it. And she was almost ready to start changing it. She wasn't going to wait around or someone else to do something, she was going to take action. By the time she was ready to leave, she knew in large part what she wanted to do and what she needed to do it. She just needed to find something, something that she knew wouldn’t be in Sire’s Hollow. Which was fine. She was ready to leave anyway. It wasn’t like these ponies cared about her.
As Starlight walked away from the place she lived her whole life, she turned and watched as no pony even bothered to glance her way. She wanted somepony, anypony , to look, but, unsurprisingly, they went on ignoring her.
"Typical," she thought. "When I come back, I'll be given the respect I deserve."
She didn't linger for more than a few seconds though. Having business elsewhere, she walked, leaving the town behind her, knowing what she was looking for. There was a certain rock she had read about that could store magic, and got stronger the more magic was stored in it. She wanted to use it to store the magic of the cutie marks she planned on collecting. The trick, however, would be to find it. And learning or creating such a spell, of course, but that was a problem for another day. For now, she wanted to find her rock. She did have a hint to help her, though. She read that it was likely somewhere near the Crystal Empire, in the Crystal Mountains, or possibly even in the Frozen North. Of course, it wouldn't be ideal if it were that far north, but she wouldn't let a little cold and snow stop her if it was.
It wasn't that long before Starlight was walking into Canterlot. She could take the train here and reach the Crystal Empire within a few hours, but she decided to stop anyway. The Royal Library was here, along with the Canterlot Archives. She wanted to spend a little more time studying, and there was no better place to do that than Canterlot.
She immediately headed for the library. She wanted to see if she could find the specific location of where the rock she was looking for was, and checked out several books on special landmarks, as well as books on cutie marks and psychology. From there, she rented a guest house and spent her time reading.
She learned quite a few things during her studying session. The first thing was that a pony’s behavior was at least partially tied to their cutie mark, although she already assumed that, seeing as ponies with cutie marks saw it fit to ignore her. She also learned that removing a pony's cutie mark would effectively remove their talents as well, which didn’t quite make sense to her. That, to her, would suggest that everypony essentially already had their cutie marks, except it only became visible when they discovered what they were good at, which she didn’t believe. Starlight already knew what she was, or, at least in theory, would be good at. She just made the conscious decision to not do that thing so as to not get her cutie mark. But regardless, the info would be useful in making everypony more equal. The third thing she learned was that she couldn’t truly get rid of a pony's cutie mark. The very best she could do was replace it with something else, which she guessed she could work with. She figured giving everypony the same cutie mark would be of roughly the same effect as nopony having a cutie mark. She also learned that the rock she was looking for was in the northeastern part of Equestria, just south of the Yaket Range. While it was cold there, it wasn’t the Frozen North, which was a relief. While she would have done it, she wouldn't have looked forward to having to trek through snow for potentially weeks, even months, and was glad she wouldn't have to do it.
As she closed the last book, Starlight looked out the guest house window and was surprised to find that night had fallen. It was fine though. "I'll just go to sleep now and visit the archives tomorrow," she thought, as she lay down in bed. She was just about to fall asleep when a thought hit her. She didn't have a manifesto. How was she supposed to convince ponies to give up their cutie marks without one? Of course, she could just take them by force, but that wasn't ideal. Actually, no, it was wrong. It was the opposite of equality. She had to make a manifesto. But that would also have to wait until tomorrow. For now, she was going to sleep.
Starlight was outside the Canterlot archives early the next morning when she happened to notice Princess Celestia walking towards her. It was weird for Starlight, not because she was the one opening things up for the day, but because Starlight would one day have to convince her to give up her cutie mark. Luckily for her though, that day was not today.
"Most ponies aren't here quite this early," Celestia said as she smiled warmly.
Starlight smiled back and responded, "I'm excited. I've never been to the Canterlot Archives before." She made a point not to call her princess or bow down to her. Even if she was more powerful, Celestia wasn't any better than her. As far as she was concerned, they were equals.
"Is there anything in particular you're hoping to learn today, my little pony?" Celestia asked her as she unlocked the entrance.
"Hopefully more about cutie marks," she told her, leaving out the reason. It wasn't technically a lie. She did want to learn about cutie marks, but she was sure Celestia wouldn't appreciate the fact that she wanted to get rid of them. "I went to the library yesterday and learned a little bit," she continued.
"Well, I hope you find the information you're looking for," Celestia told her. Starlight noted that she glanced at her noticeably blank flank while she said that. It was annoying to her that she felt sorry for her. Starlight didn't need her pity. If everypony were equal, they wouldn't feel sorry that she didn't have a cutie mark. But she didn't comment on that fact, instead turning to walk inside the archives. However, before heading in, she hesitated for a moment, then turned back around to the alicorn.
"Hey, I have a question," she called to the princess, who turned around expectantly. Starlight opened her mouth to speak, and hesitated. It was a question that came to her on the fly, and she was suddenly afraid to ask it.
"What is it?" Celestia asked politely.
"Umm…" Starlight started nervously. "Well… it's nothing. Nevermind," she said as she turned once again to enter the archives.
Starlight wanted to ask Celestia if Sunburst was still in Canterlot, but decided against it. Not that she didn't miss and want to talk to her one friend in all of Equestria. She absolutely did, almost desperately so. What was stopping her was her fear of what might happen if he saw her again. He might think he was better than her and not want to be her friend anymore. He might want to be her friend and talk her out of what she was planning. He might be some important wizard and not even remember her. No, it was much better to not see him. Still, in the back of her mind, Starlight hoped the one pony she ever cared about would make an appearance.
As Starlight spent her day reading through scroll after scroll, looking at spell after spell, she thought about how Sunburst getting his cutie mark was what changed her life. She wondered what her life would be like had he gotten his cutie mark when they were a little bit older. For starters, she wouldn't have been so lonely over the last dozen or so years. The ponies of Sire's Hollow might still ignore her, but it wouldn't be as painful since Sunburst would be with her. She might not even notice that they were ignoring her. It wasn't like she had friends outside of him when he was around. She only began to notice when he left.
They actually might not ignore her at all, seeing as she'd likely have her cutie mark. She'd also probably still be best friends with Sunburst right now, maybe even something more. She could picture it, him being some important wizard or teacher, her being a city planner or guidance counselor, being his special somepony, moving in with him, starting a family together…
And everypony would be forever unequal. As much as she hated the past she suffered through, it led her to where she was today, actively seeking not only to make her life better, but everypony's life better. Her loneliness was for the best. If she didn't fix things, nopony would. Her suffering was for the benefit of everypony else. Still though...
Starlight came up empty hooved after searching for hours for a spell to remove cutie marks. She'd found several that modified a pony's behavior and personality, even one that completely removed any personality, but that wasn't really what she wanted. However, she figured it would have to do, and wrote it down, so as not to forget it. She planned to modify it later, and perhaps use it for something else if need be, but not now. Right now, she wanted to write her manifesto.
As she walked out of the archives and headed to her room, she was surprised to see that night had once again fallen. "Time flies when you're working to fix Equestria," she thought as she entered her room. She turned on the light, sat down at the desk, got out a notebook, and quickly began to write. The words seemed to just place themselves onto the pages. To be fair, it wasn't hard. She'd been thinking about these things for the past few years. All she had to do was put her thoughts onto the paper. She was actually surprised that she hadn't thought to do this earlier. It only took her a few hours to write out her manifesto. It was a bit short, but it got to the point, and she was happy with the result. She read through it once, and when she was satisfied that there were no mistakes and conveyed the message she wanted, she set it to the side and climbed into bed. Things were going along well, and after a good night's sleep, she'd take the next train to the Crystal Empire and start looking for her rock.
To all the ponies of Equestria,
At this very moment, friendship is leaving us, and it is being replaced with arrogance and callousness. A cruel indifference for our fellow ponies is filling our hearts, one that I believe stems from the differences between us. These differences have created strife and turmoil among us, and an environment where some ponies have a blatant disregard for other ponies they feel inferior, and keeps Equestria from being the best it can be.
The only solution to our current problem, I believe, is to eliminate these differences. Eliminating the differences between us would eliminate almost any sense of superiority or inferiority between ponies, and in turn, keep conflicts between us to a minimum. As well, nopony would have to suffer through the sense of inferiority many feel because of those who believe themselves to be better. However, to eliminate our differences, we must find the source of our differences, which I believe lies in our cutie marks.
As fillies and colts, we're taught to take pride in our cutie marks. We're taught that cutie marks are what make us who we are, that our cutie mark represents our destiny, that without them, we are nothing. We hold them in such high standing that we let them define our lives, and create social standings based around them. We tell each other that somepony who's cutie mark signifies something we deem important, like a mayor or a scientist, is better than somepony who's cutie mark means something less important. It promotes a mindset that we have a station in life, a class if you will, and that we should keep to it because of our marks. Almost everypony has this mindset, as it's almost completely forced upon us, and I believe it won't start to change until cutie marks are eliminated completely.
However, while the elimination of cutie marks will fix the majority of our problems, we absolutely cannot force ponies to get rid of their cutie marks. Doing such a thing would simply encourage the inequality we seek to get rid of. Instead, we should actively encourage them and push them to get rid of them, showing them how much better off they'll be without them. Along with this, we should teach ponies as foals that differences between ponies are not something to celebrate, and that natural talents should not be discussed. We should teach community and conformity as opposed to the disparity and inequality that's currently being taught to our foals.
The third thing we need to do is establish communes among the ponies of Equestria. Besides cutie marks, wealth is the main cause of resentment among ponies, and can be eliminated through socialistic means. However, when creating such communes, it's important that, while we restrain any single pony from having too much power, we keep such communes local so that everypony can see where their resources go and prevent corruption, as well as safeguard their freedom from the differences that enslave them currently.
Once these three things are accomplished, we'll begin to see a happier, friendlier, and more kind Equestria, both for us and our future generations. A future largely without pain and isolation is possible, I'm sure of it, and this is the path towards that future. It's a world that we can create if we have the dedication and fortitude to create it.
Starlight boarded the train to the Crystal Empire early the next morning. She sat in silence the entire ride, staring out the window or occasionally reviewing the notes she’d taken the day before. At one point, she considered passing out the pages to her manifesto, however, decided against it. It was better to find her rock first, or at least create a spell to get rid of cutie marks, before sharing her philosophy.
A few hours later, the train made its stop in the Crystal Empire, and she immediately began heading east. While the Crystal Empire probably was beautiful, she wasn’t intending to stop for the view. At that moment, there was only one thing she wanted to see, and it wasn’t in the Crystal Empire.
She walked tirelessly throughout the rest of the day, then all of that night, and all the next day and the next night, watching the landscape change around her. What started as snow-capped mountains surrounded by forests slowly became grasslands, which itself began to change into badlands. She had been walking south of the mountains, but as far east as she was, the mountains finally popped into view in front of her in the direction she traveled. She knew that beyond them was the sea, and she didn’t want to go that far east, so she figured the mountains beyond her would be as good a place as any to start looking for her rock.
As she kept walking towards those mountains, something unexpected began to enter her vision. It was a single house, with a path of about a hundred and fifty yards leading up to it, just on the edge of the mountains. She would’ve just ignored it, but seeing the house made her realize how tired she was. She hadn’t gotten any sleep since she was in Canterlot, and had been walking for two days straight. She needed to rest.
She walked along the path towards the house, noticing the flat ground around it, compared to the hills around her. She took note of it, keeping it in the back of her mind. If her rock were somewhere relatively close to here, this might be a good spot to start building a coalition of those who shared her philosophy.
As she got up to the house, she saw that it was abandoned through one of the windows. It didn't look run down, but it also didn't look as though it was currently occupied. It had two levels, with two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a sitting room. She saw some simple furniture, but other than that, it was completely bare. She had trouble believing anypony lived here, but she knocked anyway, on the off chance that somepony did. If somepomy showed up to the door, she'd ask to spend the night with them, and share her philosophy with them. If not, she'd still spend the night, maybe several nights, while she looked for her rock. If somepony turned up later, she'd just explain herself and ask to stay.
Starlight knocked, and, after several minutes of waiting, opened the door and let herself inside. It was dusty, as if it had been months since anypony lived here, but still well kept. It had a quaint and cozy feel to it, which she appreciated. If her rock were relatively close to here, she wouldn't mind permanently occupying the house.
She found her way into the bedroom, fell into the simple-looking bed, and quickly fell asleep. While she slept, she had a strange dream. She was lying under the sun, in the grass, in Sire's Hollow, and Sunburst was with her combing her hair. She was enjoying it, the sun on her back, lying in Sunburst's company, feeling the comb move through her mane. It went on like this for some time, when he all of a sudden stopped. Starlight looked up at him expectantly, wondering what his explanation was.
"What are you doing?" he asked, with a serious expression painted on his face.
"What do you mean?" she asked back, confused.
"I mean, what are you doing?" he pressed.
Starlight looked down at her hooves and thought for a moment. What was she doing?
She looked back up and told him, "I'm looking for my rock."
"Why?" he asked her.
"To create a fair and equal society."
"Why?"
"Why are you asking me this?" she asked him, starting to get annoyed as well as anxious.
"Do you think I think I'm better than you?"
"What?" she asked, now starting to become worried.
"Would you take my cutie mark?" Sunburst asked.
Bam!
Starlight quickly woke up, startled and annoyed. She had rolled off the bed in her sleep, and it interrupted her dream. "Well, the dream was going downhill anyway," she thought. It was better to have it end there than to have to answer tough questions.
She looked out the bedroom window and saw that it was light outside, but slowly getting lighter. She'd slept through the entire rest of the day and night, but that was okay. At least she'd be rested enough to truly begin looking for her rock.
She took a few minutes to review her notes, and then set out east, watching the sun rise up as the walked. It was surprising how quickly the landscape changed again. She went from the relatively nice looking area of flat ground that house was on to walking up the edge of the snow-covered Yaket Range. She'd read about several groupings of caves here, and she'd figured her rock would likely be in one of them. Of course, the problem was she had no idea which one her rock was in, if it even was in a cave at all. It could take months to find, maybe years. She'd have to search each and every-
Whizz!
Starlight was knocked over face first as someone raced by her in the snow. She angrily lifted her head and used her magic to wipe the snow off herself. It was just another instance of somepony not caring about her. As usual . She got up and watched as the pony who hit her stopped and made their way toward her.
"Are you all right?" a stallion called out. "I didn't see you there. What are you doing out here alone in the mountains?"
"Of course you didn't see me," she thought as he helped her up. She brushed some more of the snow off herself and sighed, taking a few seconds to breathe before she spoke. "Just looking for something," she told him. "And it's fine. It's not like I'm not used to it,".
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, in my hometown, I'm pretty sure half the ponies don't know I even exist, so I'm used to it." She looked down, and then looked at him hopefully, hoping for him to have some sympathy for her. Hoping for him to say he'd be friends with her.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he told her sympathetically. They stared at each other for a few seconds, then he continued. "Well, I better get going," he said, and then turned to walk back to his skis.
Starlight was frustrated and angry and sad at this, but she wasn't sure why. It wasn't like he was any different from everypony else. What made her think he'd show any concern for her? What made her think he'd want to be her friend? She turned away and began to walk back up the mountain when she had an idea.
"Hey, wait!" she called, and ran up to him.
"What is it?" he asked politely.
"I was wondering," she started as she reached him, "if you wanted to join my… movement."
"Your movement? What's it about?"
"Well," Starlight said carefully, "I want to make Equestria a more fair and equal place for everypony, which is why I was out here in the mountains looking for something."
"What for?" he asked, curious.
"That's not important right now," she said quickly. "What's important is that you learn about my movement. But right here's not a good place to talk. Would you be willing to walk down to where I'm staying?"
"I mean, I guess I would, but what about my skis?" he asked. "I don't have an extra pair with me for you to ski down the mountain with me."
"Please?" she begged. "I'll only be a few hours. You can come back and get them later."
He wanted to say no, but the look she gave him made it seem like she was desperate for him to come. And she was. He was the first person in a very long while who didn't immediately brush her off. "Well… sure," he agreed, being polite.
Starlight was excited. "Great!" she said, smiling. "I know you'll want to join. By the way, I don't think I got your name."
"It's Double Diamond," he told her.
"Mine's Starlight Glimmer," she said, and they began to walk down the mountain, leaving the skis in the snow. He never did go back for them.
Starlight learned more about Double Diamond on the walk back to the house. Although most assumed it meant winter sports, he explained that his cutie mark, which was three snowflakes, signified mountaineering. He told her that he went to the mountains quite often, and that because of it, although he enjoyed his time, he was alone quite often, and, as a result, didn't have many friends.
"I know that what I'm saying seems ridiculous," he admitted. "I mean, if I went to the mountains less, I'd have more time to interact with other ponies. But I just love being here so much."
"It's not ridiculous," Starlight told him, "but I do think you've reached the wrong conclusion."
"The wrong conclusion?" he asked. "What do you mean?"
"Well," she said, "I get the feeling that you think it's largely your fault when it's not. It's your cutie mark's fault."
He paused for a second, giving her a skeptical look. "My cutie mark's fault?"
"Actually, no. Let me change what I said. It's not your cutie mark's fault, it's the fact that everypony's cutie mark is different. I mean, think about it. If everyone had the same cutie mark as you, then everypony would be your friend.”
“I guess that makes sense. So then that's why don’t you have a cutie mark?”
"Well, sort of… look! That's where I'm staying," she said, pointing towards the house. She did this intentionally, to dodge the question. She didn't want to talk about how she thought cutie makes made ponies arrogant yet. That might turn Double Diamond away from her philosophy.
"That's your house?" he asked, surprised.
"I mean, it's not my house, but it was empty when I found it, so I decided that I was going to stay here for now,".
"I actually stay there all the time, whenever I come out to the mountains."
"So wait," Starlight asked, "is it your house?".
"No," he began. "From what I've seen, it has been abandoned for years, at least since I started coming here about five years ago."
"Abandoned," she thought aloud. "That's good to hear. Even if my rock isn't near here, this is probably where I want to start."
"Start what?" Double Diamond asked politely.
"Let's head inside," Starlight told him. "I'll explain more in there."
They went inside and sat down at a table in the sitting room, and she showed him her manifesto. She watched him nervously as he read it expressionlessly. This was going to be the first time she'd receive any sort of feedback on her philosophy, and was hoping he would take it well.
He read it silently for several minutes, then politely set the papers down. He stared at the table for a minute, taking and what was written down, as Starlight anxiously waited for his response.
"Well," he finally said, "I can't see anything wrong with your reasoning, it's just…"
"Just what?" Starlight asked.
"It's just so… unusual ," Double Diamond told her. "I've never heard of anything like it. I'm sure there are other ways to spread kindness."
Starlight took a frustrated breath. It wasn't about ponies kindness, it was about neglect and indifference towards each other, towards her . He was clearly missing the point, but she didn't let her frustration show. "I know it seems crazy," she told him, "but I'm sure that my philosophy could work, and I'm sure that this is the best way to spread kindness. If we kept ponies differences to a minimum, they'd naturally want to be friendly towards each other."
"Yes, well," he started, "even if what you're saying is true, and it was the best way, you're talking about changing all of Equestria. Where would you even start?"
"I haven't quite figured that part out yet, but I'm sure if you helped me, we could figure something out," she told him, and glanced at him hopefully.
Starlight saw Double Diamond look at her hesitantly, and continued, trying to convince him. "I know this is right," she said. "My own lack of friends, my own loneliness, is proof of that. I mean, haven't you ever felt isolated because of differences between you and other ponies?"
"Well…"
"You could really help me," she told him. "I told you before that I was looking for something. There's actually a certain rock in these mountains that I'm sure you could help me find, seeing as you said you come here all the time. You'd be a really big help."
Double Diamond looked down at the table, and then back to Starlight. She smiled, trying to will him into joining her. She knew that his help would be invaluable, and knew it'd be so much easier to get things started with him on her side. More than that, this was her chance to actually have a friend for the first time in years, since Sunburst left. She desperately wanted him to stay.
After what seemed to Starlight like a long moment, Double Diamond finally smiled, and politely said, "Sure, I'll help you."
The two of them talked the rest of the day, with Starlight filling him in on the intricacies of her philosophy. It was decided that Double Diamond would stay in the second room of the house for the time being while they searched for the rock. It was also decided that, regardless of the rock's location, the area they were in now would probably be the best place to start building a coalition of ponies that agreed with her.
Starlight, however, did notice that she did most of the deciding, and that Double Diamond generally just agreed with what she said, but she figured that it was okay. She wasn't planning on being a leader, but she figured that, especially in the early stages of recruiting other ponies to join her, there would need to be somepony to guide them. But not for too long though. She wasn't better than anypony else, and she didn't want other ponies to think she thought that.
She went to sleep that night feeling positive for the first time in years. She'd gotten a lot accomplished over the last few days, from finding out in general where her rock was, to writing her manifesto, and getting somepony to see her way of thinking. If she continued at her current pace, it wouldn't be that long before everypony was truly equal. Even better than that though, she had actually had interaction, real interaction, with another pony for the first time since Sunburst left. Double Diamond might not have been a true friend yet, but making an acquaintance this early was better than she could've ever expected or hoped for. As she went to sleep, Starlight felt that things were looking up for the first time in a long time.
The next several weeks were rather busy for her and Double Diamond, and they fell into a sort of routine. They'd spend several days camped out in the mountains, looking for her rock, then rest for a few days before resuming their search. In between, they'd fine-tune the specifics of Starlight's philosophy, and spend time developing a strategy to get other ponies to join them. Some nights, she'd look over her notes, trying to find or create a spell that could remove cutie marks, although, unfortunately, she would continuously come up empty on that front.
Although she tried to appear cheerful on the outside, Double Diamond could sense Starlight's frustration at how slowly she felt things were moving. He tried to keep her positive, telling her that he thought they were very close, but he knew it didn't help much. She was obsessive. He knew she didn't like the way things were, but she never told him just how much she hated it. She felt like she finally had a chance to be happy, and desperately didn't want it to slip away. She wanted to get things done, and get them done now, but couldn't. She felt as though, after how much she accomplished in the first few days, she should've been getting more done, and worried that if things kept proceeding this slowly, her first grasp at happiness for the first time in a long time might slip and crumble away beneath her.
Finally, one night, while reviewing her notes, trying to find a spell to remove cutie marks, something clicked. As if granted the wisdom of a sage, she suddenly figured out which spells she should combine to get rid of the only obstacle between her and a perfectly equal world. She smiled a wide, happy smile, and silently celebrated so as not to wake Double Diamond, who was asleep at the time. She was excited. After today, all she would need to do is find her rock, and then she'd be set. She was so excited in fact that she almost didn't look down at her flank to see that she had gotten her cutie mark.
Starlight stared down at her flank in disbelief, all of her excitement suddenly gone. "This can't be happening," she thought. Not only was this terrible, but it was also the very worst thing that could have happened, and the absolute last thing she wanted. She thought she'd done everything in her power to not get her cutie mark, but clearly she didn't. Either that, or it didn't matter.
She started to feel herself hyperventilate. What would Double Diamond think? He was her best chance of finding her rock. If he left, everything she worked for might have been futile. Ponies would always think they were better than her, and then she'd always be alone. She was on the verge of panicking, the thought was so horrible.
"Calm down," she silently told herself, but still felt her breathing become faster. "Calm down!" she told herself again, more forceful this time, gritting her teeth. "Panicking doesn't do anything! You have it now, now figure out how to get rid of it!"
Starlight forced herself to breathe slowly. This wasn't going to be the end of the world. She was going to get rid of this. How, she didn't know... until she remembered that she'd just discovered a spell to remove cutie marks. She had a spell to get rid of cutie marks, in particular, one she just so happened to receive after discovering the spell. A more ideal opportunity to test it out wouldn't have presented itself if she tried to create one herself.
Except she still hadn't found her rock. She'd forgotten about that, but there had to be some sort of workaround. All she needed was somewhere to hold it until she found her rock. She quickly looked around the room. There was a jar on the desk in her room that was once filled with crackers. She didn't know how well it would contain cutie mark magic. Actually, that wasn't true. She was certain that it would be less than ideal for containing cutie mark magic, hence why she was looking for her rock. However, due to lack of options, she figured it would be suitable enough for a test.
She spread her hooves apart, took a deep breath, started to cast the spell on her new cutie mark. She waited a few seconds, with nothing happening, before she realized she had to physically pull it off. When she started, she felt a painful tugging. It was no different than if someone were pulling on her mane, except it was her cutie mark. The more she pulled, the more painful it became, until finally, she pulled it all the way off. She quickly put it inside the jar and twisted the lid on tightly, watching it bounce around inside.
Starlight looked down at her flank, which she expected to be blank once again, and was greeted with the sight of a new cutie mark, a gray equal sign. It was even better than she had expected, and exactly what the books she read told her. Not in how it looked, but in the fact that you couldn't really take away cutie marks. But the fact that it was replaced with an equal sign made it even better than not having a cutie mark at all. While she did notice that her head felt a bit foggy, and she was a tad more gray in color, she was still happy with the overall result. "This really couldn't have worked out better," she thought.
A second later, the jar exploded, and her cutie mark came rushing back to her. But not before the glass hit her. She tried to create a force field to deflect it, but couldn't. In the second before it hit, she realized not having her cutie mark meant that she couldn't use her magic.
"Ah!," she screamed, reflexively closing her eyes and covering her head as many pieces of glass began to cut her. A second later, she felt a light slap on her flank, which she could only assume to be her cutie mark returning to her. She hated it, and yet she was grateful for its return. She'd only gotten it three minutes ago, yet already she had a higher appreciation for it. Perhaps cutie marks weren't all that bad.
Actually, no. They absolutely were. Now that she knew that she couldn't use magic without her cutie mark, getting it was the worst possible thing that could have happened to her. She needed her magic for her philosophy to have any chance of success. Now Starlight would have to spend time thinking of a way to get around this particular predicament. Not to mention, she had just been cut with a whole bunch of glass because of it. And it almost started to convince her that it wasn't that bad. Cutie marks had to be eliminated. Except for her own, but she'd figure out a way around that.
"Starlight!" Double Diamond called out, who had woken up because of the noise to see her covered in glass and blood. He ran up to her and asked, "What happened to you?"
She sighed. "This happened," Starlight replied angrily, pointing at her flank. "I found a way to get rid of cutie marks, and then the next thing I knew I had one. And when I tried to remove it…” She waved her hooves angrily at the glass around her, shouting, “This happened!"
"Here, let me help you up," Double Diamond said, helping her off the floor. He then looked her over, saying, "What are we going to do about all these cuts? There's no bandages or gauze here."
Starlight sighed again. "I'll be fine," she told him, using magic to pull bits of glass out of her coat and skin. "Although, I haven't had this cutie mark for five minutes, and already it's been nothing but a nuisance."
“Are you sure?” Double Diamond asked, watching her wince as she pulled out glass. “There’s a town not far from here. I could run down there and pick something up if you’d like.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” she said, “but could you help me clean this mess up please?”
Starlight stayed up late that night. She lay awake in bed from the pain of her cuts, thinking about what just happened. She had found a spell to get rid of cutie marks, except it backfired on her. Of course, she knew it was her own fault. She had foolishly tried to contain it in a jar when she knew full well that it wouldn’t work. That was the whole reason she was out here in the mountains in the first place. It was an idiotic mistake, one that, lucky for her, only left her with cuts that would heal in a few days.
Although, she figured the cuts were worth it to know that the spell worked. Not only had it worked, but, as if it were true destiny, left here with an equal sign in her cutie mark’s place. She couldn’t have chosen a better replacement herself. Now all she had to do was find her rock. Then she could truly begin making Equestria a better place.
Of course, now the only problem that would stand in her way after that was her own cutie mark. Not having a cutie mark meant not having magic, and she needed her magic. There was just no other way her plan would work without it. How else would she get rid of cutie marks without her magic?
She knew, of course, that there was only one viable solution. She would have to keep her cutie mark. But just the thought of that made her body shake with anger. She didn’t even want the thing to begin with, and now she would be forced to keep it. She ground her teeth at the knowledge of knowing she would have to keep the one thing she absolutely didn’t want. Wasn’t that the whole point of her avoiding getting it?
Why did she get her cutie mark just now anyway? Angrily, she turned her head around to her flank and got her first good look at it. What she saw was an eight-pointed star above what looked like two green ribbons. She knew from her studies that stars were the universal symbol for magic, and she got the mark after discovering the spell. But that didn’t make any sense. It couldn’t have been from the spell. She’d discovered lots of spells in the past, and didn’t get a cutie mark any of those times. Maybe the star combined with the ribbons meant combining spells? But that didn’t make sense either. She’d combined numerous spells before.
She tried to think about it. The star with the two ribbons, and the spell she’d discovered. They both had something in common. As she thought about it, the realization of its meaning hit her like a ton of bricks. Manipulation. That’s what her cutie mark meant. Manipulation. She had manipulated spells to manipulate cutie mark magic, which she would use to manipulate other ponies.
“No,” she whispered to herself. “You’re not manipulating anypony. That implies deception, and you’re not deceiving anypony.”
And then a horrible thought popped into her head. What if she was deceiving herself? Manipulating herself into thinking that her life could change? Maybe her cutie mark was a sign, telling her that she should give up, that she was wasting her time thinking she’d be anything other than lonely…
“No,” she thought, looking at her flank. “This cutie mark is the manipulator. It wants to see you suffer. It took Sunburst away from you and it wants nothing more than for you to be lonely and unhappy. It wants to see you suffer. You absolutely have to get rid of it the first chance you get.”
Before Starlight knew it, dawn was breaking in and Double Diamond was knocking on her door so they could begin the ritual of looking for her rock again. As he knocked, she suddenly realized she was dead tired, having stayed up the entire night. Her lack of sleep came partly because of the cuts, and partly because of the worry she now had. Because of her cutie mark, she was now more than ever anxious about the future, and had a renewed sense of urgency in finding her rock.
She quickly got out of bed and opened the door to greet Double Diamond. As he saw her, he opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. He thought that she looked awful, her cuts still clearly visible and caked in dried blood. He also noticed the bags under her eyes, which he knew meant she didn't sleep the entire night. He initially assumed it was from the cuts, and then remembered the cutie mark that she received the previous night. He wouldn't have been surprised if she spent the entire night trying to remove it.
Starlight saw Double Diamond taking her in and quickly got defensive. "What?" she asked, a hint of frustration in her voice.
“Well,” he started, “I was just thinking we could hold off looking for a little while." He watched her stare at him, starting to scowl, and tried to continue. "I mean, it doesn’t look like you got any sleep-”
“I’m fine,” Starlight snapped at him. She then suddenly realized how she sounded, and started to backtrack. “I’m fine,” she said more softly. “I appreciate your concern, but I really am fine. I just… I want to find my rock and get rid of this thing as soon as possible.” She told him this while looking at her cutie mark with a frown. He stayed silent for another few moments, and Starlight tried to reassure him. "I'm fine ," she told him.
Double Diamond looked at her for another second longer, still unconvinced, but didn’t argue. “Okay, if you say so,” he told her simply.
The two gathered their supplies and once again started the now familiar trip into the mountains. Although what was typically a trip that took two or so hours ended up taking nearly twice as long because of how slowly Starlight was walking. She tried to move faster, knowing she was taking up precious time, but the combination of the cold, sleeplessness, and her cuts prevented her from doing so. By the time they made it to the spot where they last stopped searching, all she wanted to do was fall down and go to sleep. However, she was determined to find her rock before doing so.
“Starlight, I think we should rest for a while,” Double Diamond told her. She started to argue, but he interrupted her. “I know you want to find this rock as quickly as possible,” he said, “but if you try to find it now while you’re tired, you might just end up missing it.”
She breathed out sharply, upset. She didn't want to rest. She wanted to find her rock. But, of course, she unfortunately knew that what he said made sense. "Will you look for it while I sleep?" she asked him.
"Of course I will," he told her while setting up a tent. "I know how much you want this,".
She wasn't sure if she believed that. She wanted to, she really did, and knew it was ridiculous not to believe him. After all, he'd done nothing but go out of his way to help her with what she wanted, hardly ever questioning her. But she still had a sliver of doubt, like he was up to something. Maybe he was trying to sabotage her, and would tell her when she woke up that he didn't find anything when he really did. However, she knew it was unlikely, and tried to put the thought out of her head. Even if he did say that, she'd probably scan through the area where he searched as well.
After the tent was set up, she got in and quickly fell asleep. As she slept, she started to dream about Sunburst again. It seemed like a continuation of her last dream about him, except now she was standing surrounded by all of the ponies from Sires Hollow.
"Will you take away our cutie marks?" they asked her all at once.
Starlight glared at them. "Yes," she spat at them.“After the way you’ve all treated me, what do you expect?”.
“Will you take away our cutie marks?” they asked her again, stepping closer to her. They had formed a circle and were beginning to surround her.
“Get away from me!” she yelled, subconsciously backing away from the group.
“Will you take away our cutie marks?” the group asked again. “Will you take away our cutie marks?” they began to chant, the circle of ponies starting to close in on her.
“Starlight!” Double Diamond called to her, waking her up.
She looked at him groggily, rubbing her eyes. “What is it? How long was I asleep?”.
“I think I’ve found the rock you’re looking for!” he told her excitedly.
The next several years were both strange and exciting for Starlight. After finding her rock, the first thing she did was use part of it to make a jar. After this, she removed Double Diamond’s cutie mark, as well as her own. She placed his in the rock, but stuck her own cutie mark in the jar, which she knew would serve an important function later. After this, the two of them headed home, making plans to travel to other cities and turn ponies to their way of thinking.
Double Diamond wasn't immediately willing to go along, however. Despite how long he'd been helping Starlight up to that point, he became reluctant to immediately give up his cutie mark to her. She wasn't that surprised, and almost expected this from him. He might not have ever expected them to get to this point, and helped her with that thought in mind. Still, she somehow was able to talk him into giving it up, pressing, but not pressuring, him to do so. She knew it would be better to have two ponies trying to explain her way of thinking than just one. More than that, she genuinely wanted him to be with her when they began to build her philosophy.
Of course, Starlight knew that she couldn’t build her philosophy without a way to remove their cutie marks. Even with her rock, she knew she still needed her magic to remove them, and she needed her cutie mark to do magic. She knew she would have to keep it. However, she needed a way to make it seem like she wasn’t using magic, or else it would reveal that she was keeping her own cutie mark.
She didn’t want to lie, she really didn’t, and especially not to Double Diamond. She wasn’t better than anypony else. She knew that. Of course, however, she also knew that she would have to in order to achieve her goal. There was just no other way it could be accomplished. But she didn’t want to lie too much. She resolved that she would only have her cutie mark on her flank while she was using her spell. At all other times, it would stay in the jar.
Starlight realized she’d have to conceal her cutie mark when she was using the spell as well, the thought of which made her feel awful. It made her feel like, not only was she lying to them, but actively deceiving them. She knew that it was absurd, that she was doing no such thing, but it still made her feel that way.
Maybe she could explain to them what she was doing, explain to them why she was keeping her own cutie mark. She might be able to explain how she didn’t want to keep it, but needed to.
“No,” Starlight thought, “it’ll never work.” She knew they wouldn’t believe her. Worse, they might think she was trying to control them, might think that she thought she was better than them, which she most certainly was not . It hurt her case that her philosophy revolved around the fact that cutie marks were bad. There was just no other way. She would have to lie to them.
And so, with this in mind, she and Double Diamond set out bringing other ponies into their way of thinking. It was a slow process. Nearly everypony would simply ignore what the duo had to say. Eventually, however, Starlight figured out how to get through to most ponies. Rather than talking about the negatives of cutie marks, which most ponies didn’t seem to grasp, she focused on the positives of her philosophy. She appealed to their longing for a less stressful, more happy and kind world. She talked about how everypony could be equal under her philosophy, how if they just gave up their cutie marks, nopony wouldn't want to be their friend. When she began to explain it this way, she began to attract more ponies to her way of thinking.
Every time she brought somepony in, or, in some cases, a group of ponies, she and Double Diamond would build them a house in her village. When the next pony arrived, they would help build their house. It became a sort of tradition. They, at one point, even built Double Diamond’s house, on the one year anniversary of him meeting Starlight.
Starlight watched as her settlement slowly grew, from just a couple of ponies, to several, to a few dozen, to nearly a hundred. She was proud of the work she had done, proud of how the now small town was turning out, knowing that it would soon grow exponentially. However, she wasn’t exactly happy, and she didn’t understand why. Not that she was sad. Far from it. But she felt… weird. Awkward. Like she was looking at something that wasn’t quite finished. Her village was bringing in new ponies faster and faster, but somehow she knew that wouldn’t satisfy her. It was a certain pony that was missing. Of course, she knew it was unlikely that they’d ever join within her lifetime, unlikely that she’d ever even see him again.
But while she wasn’t quite happy, she was content. Or, at least, becoming more so. Her philosophy was gaining traction, she had friends, or acquaintances at least. She wasn’t lonely like she used to be. But she was still fearful. She was afraid that a cutie mark could take it all away from her at a moment’s notice, just like it took Sunburst. However, this time, it could be her own cutie mark this time because of her lie. Of course, she had her lie covered. She removed cutie marks with her “staff of sameness”, which she claimed was one of Mage Meadowbrook’s enchanted items, but was really just an ordinary stick she found lying around. She kept her cutie mark off at all times, except when she was removing someone else’s. When she did have it on, she covered it up with makeup, and took it off when she first got the chance to.
However, in doing this, she realized, slowly, that the more times she put it back on her flank, the more painful it became to take off again. It eventually got to the point that, after taking it off, she would shut herself in her house for the rest of the evening. Still, she suffered through. While it was very painful, she decided that if some pain every now and again was necessary to achieve what she wanted, she wasn’t going to let it deter her.
That was what she thought until, one afternoon, after bringing a new pony to her village and removing their cutie mark, the pain did deter her. Or rather, it stopped her altogether. She tried to take it off, but couldn’t bring herself to pull it off completely because of the pain. She felt like she was being stabbed in the same spot over and over while she tried to do the spell. She let it go and then tried to remove it again. Then again, and again. She tried for nearly an hour to get rid of it, bringing herself to tears because of the pain, before she realized it was futile. It wasn’t going to come off.
Starlight began to shake at the realization that she was going to have to wear her cutie mark full time. Not only did she absolutely hate the thing, she was now permanently at risk of exposing her lie. And if that happened, the village might think she was trying to control them, and abandon her and her philosophy. And then she would be alone again.
The thought of being alone was so horrible that Starlight was on the verge of tears. She wished she would have just told them to begin with that she needed to keep her cutie mark. They might have listened to her, and she might not be in this situation. But now there was nothing she could do. If she told them now, they would realize that she lied to them, and abandon her just as quickly as they would if it were revealed. And even if she didn’t tell them, it was only a matter of time before she would be exposed. A feeling of hopelessness began to creep up on her.
“No,” she whispered to herself, choking back her tears, trying to keep her composure. “Stop it. There’s a way around this.” Yes. There had to be a way around this dilemma. Some sort of spell she could find that would change what her cutie mark looked like had to exist. And if it didn't, she could simply create one, like she did the spell to get rid of cutie marks. It wasn’t hopeless. If worst came to worst and someone caught her before she found such a spell, she could always claim they were lying and banish them from the village. She didn’t want to do that, but if it came to that, she would. She wasn’t going to let all her hard work go to waste. She wasn’t going to suffer through loneliness again.
The Princess of Friendship
Starlight went along building her village for several years without much interference. However, one morning, while she was walking about the town, she noticed five or six ponies with cutie marks watching the village from afar. Her natural inclination was to greet them, until she noticed that among them was the newest princess, the Princess of Friendship.
The sight of the princess watching her town caused a wave of anxiety and fear to come over her. What was she doing here? If Starlight remembered correctly, the princess was currently living in Ponyville, which was quite a distance away from her village. There was no reasonable explanation for the princess to be there. More concerning was the fact that she hadn’t actually entered the town. She was just standing there, watching her village, as if she was doing something wrong and deciding how to proceed. Starlight didn’t like it one bit, the princess watching her town, and was made nervous by it.
The fact that, specifically, she was the Princess of Friendship was concerning. She more than likely assumed she was doing something wrong, and wanted to put a stop to it. She couldn't let that happen, and decided then and there to see what could be done about it.
“Double Diamond,” Starlight called out. He looked up from where he was sitting, outside of a bakery, and she continued, “I need to speak to you.”
In the years since the village’s founding, Double Diamond had unofficially taken on the role of Starlight’s right hoof stallion. Whenever there was a problem that Starlight herself wasn’t there to take care of, it was expected that he would handle it. But now was different. This was a problem that Starlight couldn’t handle, at least not directly, not yet. She wanted to proceed with extreme caution, so she needed Double Diamond to greet them, a task she would normally take up herself. Moreover, she needed him to find out why the princess was there. Starlight didn’t know what the princess thought of her, but assumed it wasn't good. More important than that, she needed to know if she knew about her lie. If she didn’t know, everything would be fine, and Starlight would have more room to work with in figuring out why she was there. If she did know… well, she didn’t want to think about what might happen if she did.
She told him what he should do, then quickly went into her house, viewing the scene from her window. She watched as Double Diamond discussed what Starlight told him with Party Favor, who was the second pony she brought into her philosophy. He said something to him, and motioned slightly towards the princess’s group. She also saw the small group discuss something for a second before walking into the town, looking a tad unsure. It calmed Starlight down a little, but not much. They were obviously here for a reason, and she didn’t think it was anything good.
She watched as Party Favor went up to the group and greeted them at Double Diamond's direction. “Welcome!” she heard him say, loud enough to be heard through the window she was looking out of. “Pardon my forwardness, but are you an alicorn?” he asked of the princess.
She smiled at him, and one of her companions, in a country accent, said, “That there is the Princess of Friendship.”
“Well, you’ve certainly come to the right place for friendship,” he told them as Double Diamond walked up next to him. “What brings you to town?” he continued.
“We’re… not entirely sure,” the princess, Twilight, answered.
Starlight breathed a sigh of relief at that. She was still nervous, but not nearly as much as before. While they may not have known why they were there, there was still a reason. She was sure they didn’t stumble upon her town by accident.
“Well, all are welcome here in our little town,” Party Favor told them, introducing himself and Double Diamond.
The pony with the accent introduced herself as Applejack, and the five others with her as Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and, of course, Twilight Sparkle.
“If you don’t mind,” the princess asked them, “has there been any sort of… trouble here lately?”
Starlight hated the way she asked that, implying that it was bad to not have a cutie mark, that she was somehow better than them because she had one. She mumbled, “The only trouble here right now is you,” before catching herself. She couldn’t think like that. It wasn’t their fault that they still thought cutie marks were good. They’d been taught their whole lives to think that way. They just needed to be reeducated.
“Trouble?” Double Diamond asked. “Why, I don’t think there’s ever been trouble in our little village. Perhaps you care to speak to our founder, Starlight Glimmer.”
Starlight quickly went into the other room to compose herself as the group was led towards her house. “Don’t be nervous,” she thought. “Don’t. Be. Nervous. You have nothing to hide from them. You’re here to show them around and get them to join the town.”
“Starlight? We have some new visitors,” Double Diamond said as he and Party Favor knocked on the door.
“Bring them in,” she said cheerily as she faced the door, hoping her anxiousness was hidden. “You have nothing to hide,” she thought as the group walked into her home.
“Welcome!” she said as she stood before them. “We’re so pleased to have you here!” She then went up to the princess, and said, “Forgive my bluntness, but aren’t you the Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle? We don’t get many of those around here.”
“Yes, but, just Twilight is fine,” she told her, almost embarrassed.
“So! How did you hear of our little village?” Starlight asked, wasting no time in getting down to business.
“It’s kind of a long story,” Twilight started, “but let’s just say we found it on a map.”
“Well regardless, we’re happy to have you!” Starlight told her. “We’re happy to have any pony who wants to experience true friendship for the first time.” Starlight couldn’t help but get the dig in, especially, since she was speaking to the Princess of Friendship .
“... what?” was all Twilight got out, confused.
“Oh, indeed,” Starlight explained. “You might have noticed that we all have the same cutie mark, but that's because it's by design. Around here, we don’t flaunt our special talents because we don’t have any special talents to flaunt. That's what's unique about our little village.”
Starlight stopped before she could elaborate. She felt the contempt and anger creeping into her voice, and didn’t want it to be heard. She knew she was wrong to feel contempt for them. After all, it wasn’t their fault they still had cutie marks. It wasn’t anypony’s fault. And yet she still felt it. Maybe it was because it was the Princess of Friendship she was dealing with. She just didn’t understand how she could be so misinformed. How could she not see that all cutie marks did was cause problems and divide ponies?
“So that would be why you all have the same cutie mark...” Twilight commented thoughtfully.
“Perhaps I can explain while I give you a tour of our little village,” Starlight announced, and lead them out.
Starlight showed the princess’s group around the town, explaining the basics of her philosophy along the way. She was hoping they would understand, but as she went on, they looked more and more confused. It was making her frustrated. It clicked for most ponies by this point after she lead the others around the village, but the six of them seemed as though they weren’t getting it. However, instead of commenting on this fact, she simply asked, “What do you think?”
“I’m sorry,” Twilight told her. “I guess we’re just a little confused by all of this. When we were sent to this town, we assumed it was to help in some way. But, well… it doesn’t look like you need any.”
Starlight was happy with what she heard from Twilight. In fact, she was almost ecstatic. While she may not have understood what her village was about, the fact that the Princess of Friendship had good things to say about it was fantastic. She could use this to bring more ponies into her philosophy. She also took note of the word sent that Twilight used. Whoever the princess was reporting to might hear good things from her. This might be a huge push for Starlight and her goal of eliminating cutie marks.
However, just then, she realized what might be an even bigger push for her village. “Have you considered perhaps,” Starlight asked the princess, “that you might have been sent here so we could help you? After all, no pony has ever come to our village and wanted to leave. Why should you be any different?”
“Well, I’m not sure about that…” Twilight told her hesitantly.
Starlight realized that she was pushing her luck, and reeled back. “Well,” she said, “in any case, that is entirely your choice. Please, enjoy our little corner of Equestria. We’re all quite fond of it, and I’ve no doubt the six of you will be as well.”
Conversations and Secrets
Author's Note
I should probably mention this now, but Chapters 1-11 were written between August and November, whereas Chapters 12 onwards have been written within the last two weeks. So I might be contradicting some of the things I previously stated in the story, made worse by the fact that I free-write, and don't have a plan for how each chapter is going to turn out or what it's going to focus on. So if you notice any contradictory information, please tell me so I can get it fixed.
Conversations and Secrets
As she walked back to and entered her house, just as Starlight’s nervousness was about to go away, she started thinking. And the more she thought, the more she started to worry.
She began to realize that the princess's coming there was both high reward and high risk. If the princess stayed, which would mean her giving up her cutie mark, her village might grow from a few dozen to thousands before she knew it. The problem was that if she left, the other ponies of this village might see this as a rejection of her philosophy. And if, of all ponies, the Princess of Friendship rejected her philosophy, then they might also start to question it. She couldn’t let that happen. That absolutely positively could not happen . She had to do everything in her power to convince Twilight Sparkle to stay.
Of course, she couldn’t force her to stay. However, that didn’t mean that she couldn’t pressure her to stay. Starlight didn’t want to pressure her, but if it seemed like she was about to leave, she had to do whatever it took to make her stay. She didn’t like the thought of pressuring the princess. Starlight wasn't better than her. But she did take solace in the fact that pressuring wasn’t the same as forcing.
She could convince Twilight. She was sure of it. After all, she’d convinced every other pony who stumbled upon the village thus far. While going out and recruiting ponies from other cities might have been an area they needed to improve, Starlight had had massive success once ponies saw her town and saw first hand how exactly her philosophy worked. Besides, it was the Princess of Friendship. She knew she would agree with her when she explained her philosophy better. She had to agree with her. There was no way she’d be able to deny how nice it was for ponies to live there. There was no way she wouldn’t agree with Starlight. She would see reason.
Starlight lay down in her bed and closed her eyes. Things were going to be fine. No, they would be better than fine. Once she had the princess’s approval, and convinced her to stay in her town, everypony in Equestria would want to join. This was a great opportunity for her. It was all going to work out in the end.
Starlight fell asleep, although it wasn’t long before she was awoken by knocking on her door. She rose up and walked into the other room to see Double Diamond entering. He looked nervous as he approached her, and it naturally made her begin to worry again.
“Starlight,” he started, sounding agitated, “I, uh- I have some news for you,”.
Starlight already began to feel sick to her stomach. She almost knew what he was about to say. It was what she feared would happen when she first saw the princess in her village. She had a bad feeling about what Double Diamond was about to tell her, and didn't want to hear it. However, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, gathering the courage to listen. “What is it?” she answered.
“Well, um-,” he stammered. “It’s the princess. Party Favor and I have reason to believe she’s- she’s planning to-”
“Please don’t continue,” Starlight interrupted. She couldn’t bear to listen to what he was about to say to her. She closed her eyes and exhaled, then looked up at him again and said, “I know what you’re about to tell me, and I figured something like this might happen. What evidence do you have supporting…?”
“Well, as we were sitting outside of the bakery, I heard her discussing how ponies can be friends in spite of differences. She was talking with Sugar Belle about this, and then made was what clearly an obvious attempt at talking privately with her out of public sight."
“And then what?”
“Well, I wasn’t able to follow them inside, but I’m fairly certain that Sugar Belle is beginning to have doubts about our philosophy.”
Double Diamond watched as Starlight just stared at him, as if she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. “Starlight?” he asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Starlight said quickly, shaking her head. “It’s just- this is what I expected to happen when she appeared here. I hoped it wouldn’t, but I expected it,”.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s the Princess of Friendship, Double Diamond,” Starlight told him. “She has a powerful influence on the way ponies think. Seeing her walking through the town is naturally going to make ponies have doubts about our village. That’s why I was wary of her coming into our village. And besides that, she still has her cutie mark, so of course she’s going to think differences are okay. Her title alone conditions her to think that she’d better than everypony else. I mean, how many ponies in Equestria can claim to be a princess, let alone the Princess of Friendship?”.
The way Starlight said it came off as bitter, almost jealous. She couldn’t help but think about how Twilight was in almost the exact opposite situation as she was previously in. Her differences made everypony want to be her friend, while Starlight’s made her unwanted. Anypony in Twilight’s position would do what they could to make sure Starlight didn’t succeed. Which is why Starlight knew she had to succeed. No pony was better than anypony else, and she had to make sure that the whole world knew it.
“Do you know what she’s planning on doing?” Starlight asked.
“Well, she asked me if she could visit the cutie mark vault tomorrow, but I can’t say what she’s planning from there.”
Double Diamond’s mention of the Rock immediately gave Starlight an idea. A bad idea. No, a horrendous idea. It was a horrible idea, one that went against everything she and her village stood for. She knew she couldn’t possibly do what she was thinking. She had to come up with something else. But if she couldn’t…
“What is it, Starlight?” Double Diamond asked, seeing the look of concentration on Starlight’s face.
“It’s nothing,” she said, still thinking. “But stop by tonight, please. I want to talk a few things over with you.”
Author's Note
I actually expected this chapter to be much shorter. However, some last minute re-reading made me add in a whole bunch of extra stuff, almost 700 extra words. Also, it should be noted that I'm not writing the next chapter immediately after posting the last one, I've been working several chapters ahead this whole time. I've actually already started writing chapter twenty.
The Cave (13)
Chapter Thirteen:
Starlight and Double Diamond talked late into the night. They discussed what they might have to do tomorrow, and how this might affect Starlight’s philosophy. They talked about what they believed the princess was planning, and how they might be able to counteract it, and what might happen if they weren’t able to.
By the time they were finished talking, it was nearly dawn, and Starlight sent Double Diamond back to his house so she and him could both get some rest. But Starlight couldn’t sleep. She just kept thinking about what she might have to do today. She didn’t want to do it. She desperately didn’t want to do it. But she knew if she had to choose between forcing Twilight and her friends to join her philosophy and letting her leave the village, she had to choose the former. It was for the good of her town. No, it was for the good of Equestria.
By the time mid morning came, Starlight decided to go outside. She opened her door and was startled to see Double Diamond and Party Favor standing there, with the princess and her friends behind them.
“Hello!” Starlight greeted them cheerily. “Double Diamond tells me you want to see our cutie mark vault. Is that correct?”.
“I guess you could say that,” the princess told her. “We heard about it around the town and got curious. It’s not a problem for us to see it, is it?”.
“Of course not!” Starlight told them, trying to hide from them how worried she was about this. “I could lead you there myself, if you’d like. It is a bit of a distance away from here, though. It’d be a few hours of walking, if that’s okay with you,”.
“That’s fine,” Twilight told her, then asked, “Is there any way we could visit it now?”.
“Absolutely! Just grab something warm to wear, and we can leave right away!”.
As they walked through the snow to Starlight’s rock, where the village’s cutie marks were stored, Starlight once again tried to explain her philosophy, explaining how, because of cutie marks, ponies were bound to feel indifference and dislike towards each other. However, it was becoming clear that the group didn’t care for what she had to say. Not helping was the fact that, while she was talking, they were whispering amongst themselves about how they were here to bring cutie marks back to her village.
The fact that the group of them weren’t even trying to be open minded frustrated Starlight to no end. She couldn’t blame them, however. They still had their cutie marks, so of course they’d dismiss what she had to say. But still, she thought that they could at least be respectful instead of making whispers of plans that Starlight could obviously hear.
However, no matter how respectful they were from that point forward, their plans she overheard were something Starlight could not ignore. Before, it was a priority for them to stay. Now, there was no way they could leave. She would not let them leave. They were going to stay here, Starlight knew that for sure. However, how she would convince them, she didn’t know.
She thought about how best she could approach this. Maybe she could talk to each one of them individually, and try to convince them that way. She could start with the yellow one, Fluttershy she thought her name was. She seemed to be the most open minded of the whole group, and she was sure she could convince her into her way of thinking. If Starlight did that, it might get the rest of the group to join. It might also make the rest of the group angry to the point of retaliation, at which point…
“Just through here!” she called as she motioned to the cave where her rock was. She led the princess’s group inside and watched as they looked around in awe. “Here it is!” she announced to them. “Our cutie mark vault!”.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Twilight commented in almost disbelief as she stared at the hundreds of cutie marks inside the rock.
“It’s what makes our whole philosophy work,” Starlight told her, and described to the princess the trouble she went through to find it. “I am curious, though,” she finally asked, “how did the subject of the vault come up?”.
“Well,” Pinkie Pie started, “a bunch of ponies were telling us about how much they miss their cutie marks, and-”.
“Pinkie! ” Twilight interrupted her sternly.
This was really bad. Starlight had figured the princess’s being there would have some effect, but not to this degree. When she learned about the princess’s meeting with Sugar Belle, she figured it was just one pony having doubts. Not several . This was awful. Before, she thought that her village would only have doubts about her philosophy if Twilight left with her cutie mark. Now, it was sounding like there might be several ponies who would outright leave right along with the princess. And if several left, the whole village would not only have doubts, but actively begin to question her. It would be a tough blow to recoup from, and a tough situation for her to manage.
She knew she had to convince the Princess of Friendship to stay and give up her cutie mark. It was right here, right now. If she wouldn’t be convinced, if it came down to it, she would be in a position to force her into giving up her cutie mark. She didn’t want to go down that road. She really, really didn’t want to have to do that. She knew what it might look like if she did. The princess might say that she was a dictator, and that Starlight was taking away their cutie marks to control them, which, while completely untrue, would be very difficult to explain to her village. Not to mention the far future implications, like giving an opening to corruption in her philosophy years down the line, after she’d retired. But if the choice was between that or watching a mass of ponies demand their cutie marks back because the princess left, as well as watching her philosophy crumble before her eyes, she would bite the bullet and take it by force.
“It’s alright,” Starlight told them, sounding cheerful. “Naturally, seeing the Princess of Friendship, anypony might begin to miss their cutie mark...,” she paused and looked at them before continuing, saying, “which is why I humbly ask you to join our little village,”.
“Oh…,” Twilight started, trying to think of the right way to decline. “You wouldn’t want us to do that. You’d get… bogged down trying to get us settled in,”.
“It’s quite alright. In fact, I insist. Just think of how many new ponies would join us because of you,".
“Well, we’re quite busy right now,” she declined again. “In fact,” she lied, “we still have some business to take care of back in Ponyville, and we better be on our way. We wouldn’t want to keep taking advantage of your hospitality,”.
Starlight watched as the princess and her group began to turn around, and tried again to convince them. “Wait!” she called. “Can't you see how nice it is here? Why don't you want to stay?".
"Like the princess said," AppleJack told her, "we wouldn't want to take advantage of your hospitality,".
"What can I do to convince you to stay?” Starlight asked the group desperately.
“You don’t need to do anything for us,” Twilight called over her shoulder. “We’ll think about what you’ve told us on our way back home,”.
Starlight knew she had to think fast. She was watching the princess slip away from her grasp. She looked at the tree branch that she called the Staff of Sameness for a few seconds, and hesitated. Was she really going to sacrifice her philosophy to make them stay?
No. She couldn’t do that. That’s not what her town was about. However, she knew there was no way she was going to convince them to stay, which in and of itself would be an issue. However, it was made worse by the fact that the princess and her group were actively plotting against her village. She couldn’t let them destroy her work. She wouldn’t let them destroy her work. But she couldn’t steal their cutie marks from them either.
She was at a loss as she watched them walk away. How were things spiraling so out of control? She knew she had to do something, and knew that, whatever choice she made, she wouldn’t be able to take it back. Her options at that moment were to futility try to convince them or pressure to stay, knowing full well what they were planning, knowing full well that it wouldn’t work, or to take their cutie marks, knowing full well that they would resist and continue their plan to destroy her town. What was she going to do? Starlight looked down at her hooves, thinking over her options. She knew her whole future rested in this moment. What was she going to do?
After what felt like a lifetime trying to decide what to do, Starlight finally sighed sadly, picked up the staff, and trotted towards the group of six to take away their cutie marks, starting with the princess.
Author's Note
Don't worry, all loose ends will be tied up in the next chapter
Interviews (14)
Chapter Fourteen:
There was nothing said from Twilight’s group on the way back to Starlight’s village. All she got was angry glares from the princess’s group as Starlight led them back to the vacant house they had stayed in the day before.
“You understand why I did this, don’t you?” she asked, to no reply. “I heard you talking about how you were going to destroy my village. You know I couldn’t let that happen,”. The group’s response was to simply walk forward angrily, trying to ignore her.
“I really am sorry it came to that,” Starlight apologized to them. “I can say with complete certainty that what happened back there goes against everything my town stands for. I do hope you can one day forgive me,”. Still, all she received from the group was angry looks and silence.
"I heard you all discussing how you would destroy the town I worked tirelessly to create. What was I supposed to do? Let you leave and brainwash them into thinking they need their cutie marks? You know I couldn't let that happen,".
With still no reply from the group, Starlight kept leading them to what she knew would be their new home in an awkward silence. By the time they made it back to the town, night had fallen, and there wasn’t a single pony in sight, much to Starlight’s good fortune. She wasn't yet prepared for how she would explain the situation to the town. She lead them into the empty house they would be staying in and wished them a pleasant night, telling them that she would be interviewing them one on one the next day.
However, when Starlight got back to her own house, she had trouble falling asleep. All she kept thinking about was how she had stolen their cutie marks. Stolen. The word rang around her head, and she didn’t like it. It wasn't like she wanted to steal them. She tried to avoid the situation, but there was nothing she could have done differently to avoid it, except maybe deny them entry into her village in the first place. Still, however, it happened, and nothing she could do now would change that. She knew that she had changed the future with that action, and knew it wouldn't be for the better. All she could do now was hope that it would work out down the line.
The next day, starting early in the morning, she had Double Diamond bring each one of them into her home for an interview, alone. It was a long process, taking up most of the morning, but she thought it was worth a try. Maybe they would see reason, see why she had to do what she did. She started with the two she knew she wouldn't convince, Twilight and Rainbow Dash, and worked her way down to the ones she thought she had a chance at. She knew if she could just convince one of them into her way of thinking, she could get the rest of them to buy into her philosophy.
Her interview with the princess lasted longer than the other five combined. She tried her best to maintain her composure as the princess angrily told her how she couldn't just steal ponies cutie marks and how she was "trying to help a village she manipulated get their marks back". Starlight wasn't surprised that she was unable to get a single word in explaining herself, but did have to stop herself from snapping at her when the princess began to talk about how she was so disappointed in Starlight.
That word, "disappointed", made her blood boil. Of course Twilight would be disappointed in her. To the princess, Starlight was just another villain who needed to be defeated. No, worse than that. Starlight was a child who just didn't understand . She was angry because the princess was talking as if she was just a student who needed to be corrected, upset at her because Starlight was forcing her to join her village, not caring that Twilight herself was planning on forcing her way onto her village. Not caring that the ponies in Starlight's village chose to give up their cutie marks. No, the princess only cared about her way being absolute, and forcing anypony who disagreed into her way of thinking. At least Starlight had admitted that she was wrong in doing what she did, something she knew Twilight would never do.
The next few interviews were much shorter, and much less frustrating for her. After what she thought was a particularly effective conversation with AppleJack, she greeted Fluttershy as she was being escorted in by Double Diamond. She took note of her facial expression, seeing that it was noticeably more neutral than most of the others. That was good. From the beginning, she thought she might be the easiest to convince.
“I just want to say,” Starlight started for the sixth time, “that I’m truly sorry for what had to happen yesterday. Forcing ponies into our philosophy is not how we do things here, and I truly wish things could have turned out differently. However, I hope you understand why I had to do what I did,”.
She watched as Fluttershy took a breath and said, “I understand. My friends and I came into your lovely village and tried to make a mess of things without taking a chance to learn about it first. But that doesn’t make it okay for you to steal our cutie marks,”.
“And I’m not saying it was okay,” Starlight told her. “In fact, it was completely wrong of me, and I apologize once again for what I’ve done,”. She paused for a second, watching as Fluttershy looked at her hopefully, then continued. “However, I can’t give them back to you,”.
“Why not?,” Fluttershy insisted.
“Because,” Starlight explained, “even if gave them back on the condition that you never returned here, your friends might still try something. I feel like I can trust you, but I can’t trust them ,”.
“So you’re going to keep us here as prisoners,” Fluttershy commented.
Starlight winced at that. “I don’t want you to be prisoners here. In fact, I want you all to enjoy being here. I know what happened yesterday doesn’t sit well with them and has them upset, but… they haven’t even given it a chance! They’ve just dismissed our town from the moment they got here!”.
Starlight thought she could see doubt on Fluttershy’s face, so she continued. “All they’ve done since they’ve been here is talk about how weird we are and try to cause problems. I mean, of course there are ponies who miss their cutie marks. We all do from time to time. But we’re all happy here. It’s a choice we all willingly made, and it’s not okay to cause unnecessary tension because of it,”.
“You all do seem happy,” Fluttershy said thoughtfully, “and you’re all the friendliest ponies I’ve ever met. And even though you did take are cutie marks, when you put it that way, it makes it seem like we deserve it,”.
“No, you didn't deserve it," she told her. "It's just the way it happened, and, once again, I truly am sorry for what happened yesterday,". She paused, looking at Fluttershy, and continued, "But if you voice your support for us and joined our village, you might make them more accepting of change,”.
“Do you think so?”.
“I know so,” She told her, sounding more confident in the statement than she felt. “I’d really appreciate if you would just consider it,”.
Fluttershy looked down at her hooves, then back up at Starlight. “Is it okay if I had some time to think the decision over?”.
“Of course,” Starlight told her. “Take all the time you need,”.
Author's Note
Start rant:
I really think I wrote this chapter very poorly, mainly the ending. Actually, specifically, just one paragraph of this chapter. It's just over a hundred words long, but I think I wrote it so poorly that it just throws the entire flow of the chapter off. It's such a jarring transition, and I really don't like it, but I couldn't think of anything better.
Expect the next chapter to be at least 12 times better.
End rant
The Mistake (15)
Chapter Fifteen:
That afternoon, Starlight headed back to her rock. Even though she got Fluttershy settled into the town and was letting her stay in the spare bedroom in her house, she didn’t trust her completely. Not that she didn’t want to trust her. She didn’t know why she couldn’t. From what Double Diamond told her, Fluttershy had nothing but good things to say about the town since she first got there. There was no reason not to trust her. But something in the back of her mind told her that she couldn’t be, so she listened to it.
However, before that, she held a very brief meeting with the town. She explained how she took the princess' cutie mark, as well as those of her friends by force, and in response received a bunch of nervous and anxious looks from them. It looked as though they didn’t like the decision, but before they could begin to question the move, she explained that, while it was necessary, it wasn't something that she was proud of, and was only done as an absolute last resort. She told them how this was not what their town was about.
She then had Double Diamond explain how they'd overheard them talking about bringing cutie marks back into their village, and how Twilight was planting seeds of doubt in their minds. While he didn't talk for very long, she saw the town visibly relax at his words, and she knew why. Even though she was the village’s founder, Double Diamond seemed more like one of them than she did. While she seemed more like a leader, he seemed to them like just another member of their town. His words meant he had a hoof in the decision, meaning that she hadn't acted on her own. It meant that, from their perspective, she truly did want to see their best interests, but still sought their opinions through Double Diamond at least before acting. Which meant that she didn't think she was better than them.
She ended with telling them that they'd have to be much more careful about who they were letting into their village. Not that they had to be afraid, they just needed to pay more attention. This meeting seemed to satisfy them for now, but Starlight knew that she would have to follow up with them later and explain the whole thing better. She also knew that they were now nervous about her, and she needed to be careful of how she acted in the future. But that was a problem for another time. For now, she was going to the cutie mark vault.
After a few hours of walking, bringing Double Diamond along with her, just before sundown, she made it to the cave where the rock was. She had brought the jar she used to use to store her cutie mark in and placed the princess’s cutie mark inside. As an afterthought, she placed the cutie marks of the princess’s friends inside as well.
Of course, Double Diamond questioned her actions at this. “I just don’t understand why we couldn’t leave them in the cutie mark vault,” he commented as they walked back to the town. “Fluttershy is one of us now. Surely she can be trusted,”.
“I understand,” she told him. “This is just a security measure, just in case something funny happens,”.
“But she had nothing but good things to say about our village since she got here. Do you really not have trust in her?”.
“It’s not her,” Starlight explained, “it’s her friend, Twilight, that I don’t trust. She might have put her up to this, threatened her even. Besides,” she said, as she held up Twilight’s cutie mark, “this one belongs to the princess. It could be of great value once she joins our village,”.
“But if the princess becomes our friend,” he asked, “what will we care about that old cutie mark?”.
“We could use it to promote our philosophy,” she said. “When people see that a princess joined our village, everyone will want to join. For now, however, I just want to keep them close until everything is settled,”.
“I understand,”.
When Starlight got home, she took the jar and set it in the desk in her room. She might have to keep them there quite a long time, at least until the princess stopped resisting and came around to her philosophy. She knew she eventually would. Or, at least, she hoped she eventually would. The princess was just so stubborn. She was stuck on the idea of what Starlight had done wrong, which she had admitted to, but wouldn’t place any blame on herself for talking about giving the town back their cutie marks. In front of Starlight, no less. But she would come around. She had to. She was the Princess of Friendship. If she couldn’t see that Starlight’s way was all inclusive and prevented ponies from being outcasted, and, in general, better than her philosophy of having cutie marks, then she had no business holding such a title.
She thought all of this as she went to the restroom to rub off her makeup, a task she had done every night, then made her way back to her room to go to sleep. She was just about to drift off when she was filled with panic. She had rubbed off her makeup. The makeup that covered her cutie mark. And Fluttershy was still in the house! How could she be so careless? If Fluttershy had decided to leave her room to go for a late night walk, or leave to socialize with the rest of the town, or even go to the restroom, she would have been caught. She was incredibly lucky she didn’t do any of those things. How could she be so careless?
Starlight couldn’t fall asleep anymore. She was on edge. Fluttershy might have been waiting for a moment like this to take advantage of. Or, worse, the princess herself might have been spying on her waiting for this. She just risked everything by wiping off her makeup. How could she be so careless? without her magic . And even if the princess was spying on her and she somehow didn’t notice, the princess didn’t know what she was looking for.
Starlight took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. Nopony saw her. Everything was going to be fine. Still, though, she kicked herself for being so careless. If she kept making simple mistakes, she was going to get caught. She had to be better, and she knew it. She got lucky this time. Next time, she might not be afforded such luck.
Author's Note
Writing this chapter and the next one was the original reason I started working on this story in the first place. Especially the next chapter.
Revelation (16)
Chapter Sixteen:
The next morning, Starlight brought out a tired-looking Twilight Sparkle and her four other friends. She once again explained to her village what was going on, reminding then that they were there because they wanted to force them back into their cutie marks, and we're plotting how to accomplish this.
“However,” she told the village, “even after what they tried to do, we should still want them to feel welcome here. Let’s accept them with open arms, without judgment, and make them our friends,”.
She started to walk back to her house, the chatter of the village greeting the five behind her, but glanced over her shoulder to see Fluttershy whispering to the princess. Panic started to rise up inside of her. Fluttershy had seen Starlight’s mistake last night. She knew about her cutie mark. However, she forced herself to keep walking towards her house. She didn’t want to look suspicious. All she had to do was make it to her home, to safety, and she could come up with a plan from there.
Close, so close she was to her door when she heard the bucket of water coming at her. She instinctively jumped to the left, out of the way, nearly all of the water missing her. Nearly. She looked down at her flank to where her cutie mark was concealed. Just a few drops hit her, but just a few drops were enough to make the makeup smudge. A tiny glimmer of green was now visible against her pink coat. Her secret, her lie, was now visible to the whole town.
She turned around to see the entire village staring at her in stunned silence. She stared back at them silently, not knowing what to say. Everyone now knew that she still had her cutie mark. How could she have been so careless? Her entire world would now crumble because of a stupid mistake that could have been so easily avoided.
No, it hadn’t crumbled yet. There was still a chance to persuade them she needed it. Which was true. She did need it. She could fix this. All she had to do was convince them that she needed to keep her cutie mark and they needed to give up theirs. A tall task, but one that could be done. One that had to be done.
“You still have your cutie mark?” Double Diamond asked, completely shocked. Then his shock turned to anger. “How could you?” he demanded.
The entire village’s eyes were on him and her. That was good. That meant that all she had to do was convince him to convince them all. It was a very tough task ahead, but she could do it. She was confident she could do it.
“You said cutie marks were evil!” he yelled at her. “You said they lead to pain and torment!”.
“They do!” she tried to tell him. “That’s why I concealed mine! I didn’t want something like this to happen!”.
“But why did you keep it?” he demanded. “Why did you take ours and not give up your own?”.
“I wanted to give mine up!” she insisted. “You know that Double Diamond! You know I didn’t want to get mine in the first place! But once I got it, I had to keep it to use my spell! I couldn’t collect your cutie marks without my magic!”
“So the ‘staff of sameness’, was that another lie?”.
Starlight winced at that. “I- I didn’t want to lie to you. I really didn’t want to lie. You have to believe me,”.
“Then why didn’t you tell us that you were keeping it? You could have at least told me !”.
“I didn’t want you to think that I thought I was better than you,” she said, trying not to panic. “I didn’t want you to think that I was deceiving you,”.
“But you did,” Double Diamond said sadly, shaking his head.
“That’s not true!” Starlight said desperately. “I- look at our village! We’re all happy here, and it’s because we’re all equal!”.
“Except for you,”.
“Please, Double Diamond,” she begged, “please believe me. I didn’t want to lie to you ,”.
Her begging didn’t matter. Before she finished, he had already made up his mind. “Come on guys!” he called. “Let’s get our cutie marks back!”. He then took off running in the direction of the rock, the rest of the group following after him. Starlight already knew what would happen. With their combined efforts, the rock would tip over and shatter, releasing the cutie marks. And there was nothing Starlight could do about it. She had just witnessed years of hard work crumble in just a few short minutes. She was stunned.
She then remembered the princess, and turned around to see a satisfied grin on her face. This was all her fault . All of Starlight’s friends now hated her because of Twilight. She would make her pay, and she already knew how. With a flash, she teleported inside her bedroom, took the jar of cutie marks out of the desk, and ran out the back door, towards the mountains, but in the opposite direction of the vault. She was headed towards the caves, the ones she could get lost in, where nopony would ever find her. The princess had ruined her life, and she was going to make sure she suffered for it by never letting her have her cutie mark back.
After sprinting for several minutes, she began to alternate between jogging and walking, never taking her eyes off the pass into the caves she was headed for. It wasn’t too far, and she knew she could make it there in no time. All she had to do was make it there. Then she’d come up with a spell to destroy their cutie marks for good.
A few moments later, she saw a bright flash, and watched as over a hundred cutie marks flew into the air, then back down out of sight. She clenched her jaw in anger. The town had broken her rock. No, the princess had broken her rock. That was a mistake, and Starlight would make sure she paid for it.
As she made her way across the bridge to the caves, she heard the galloping of several ponies behind her, quickly catching up. She didn’t bother to turn around, opting instead to sprint towards the caves that were right ahead of her. She was close, so close. “Just get into the caves,” she thought. “Get into the caves and use a teleportation spell. Then the princess will have to pay for what she’s done,”.
“She’s getting away!” she heard somepony, the princess, cry as she entered the caves. Good. It what she deserved for tearing her village apart. She galloped in for a few seconds, then stopped and turned to see the princess desperately trying to catch her.“Too late,” Starlight thought angrily, as she geared up to use the spell to teleport further inside the cave. However, the instant before it could happen, a snowball hit the jar, causing it to leave her grasp and shatter on the ground.
Chapter Seventeen:
“No,” Starlight whispered, as she watched the cutie marks of Twilight and her friends race back towards their flanks. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no! ” she screamed. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. In just under an hour, she lost everything. Her rock, her village, her supposed friends… And the princess, the very same one who was walking towards her at that moment, she was the one who caused it to happen. And now she was coming to rub it in her face, to tell her that she was better than Starlight.
In a fit of rage, Starlight closed her eyes and let out a powerful blast of magic, one that would send her back to where she came from. However, to her surprise, when she opened her eyes again, she saw the princess casting a shield to protect her.
“What?” Starlight let out, shocked. “I’ve been studying that spell for years! How did you- ”.
“I studied that spell for years, too,” Twilight told her, “but what I didn’t know then was that studying could only get me so far. Each of my friends' unique personalities taught me something different about myself. I never would have learned that I represent the element of magic without these five, and I certainly would be here to stop you now!”
Starlight couldn’t stand to listen to what she was saying. The princess was so vain, and Starlight hated what she was implying. She was making it seem as though she’d walked into the village one day and just stole their cutie marks when that couldn’t have been further from the truth. She built that village from the ground up. The ponies who moved there willingly gave up their cutie marks. But Twilight didn’t care. Starlight knew that when she was so quick to dismiss her village, not even bothering to try to understand. She didn’t care that, in the few short days she had been there, she tore down everything that Starlight had worked for years to build. She didn’t care that all Starlight wanted was friends .
Suddenly, before the princess knew it, Starlight teleported deep inside the cave. So far inside that the entrance was just a pinpoint of light. Her hooves began to shake in anger, her anger turning into frustration. If she just wouldn’t have been so careless , none of this would have happened. But she was, and her carelessness cost her everything. She was alone again, and there was nothing she could do about it. The one rock in all of Equestria she could use was destroyed, and even if there was another one, nopony would ever trust her again. Her life was officially ruined, the thought of which made her shake harder.
“It’s not because you were careless,” a voice told her. “It’s not because of the princess either. Your philosophy was just wrong,”
She had trouble accepting that. Her philosophy couldn’t be wrong. It couldn’t be. She’d spent so much time and energy on building her philosophy, and it had been working so well until Twilight showed up. No, her philosophy wasn’t wrong. Twilight was wrong.
“Can’t you just accept that nopony likes you?” the voice said. “Can’t you just accept that nopony wants to be your friend?”
Starlight wanted to cry. She knew the voice in her head was true. She knew that nopony wanted to be her friend. That was the whole point of creating her philosophy. It was so she could have friends. Yet, the fact that she needed to create a whole philosophy on friendship just to get ponies to be her friend finally gave her the awful realization. Nopony liked her . That’s why her village crumbled so quickly. Not because of her cutie mark, but because nopony liked her. She would always be alone because nopony liked her. She was hopeless.
“Don’t cry,” she silently told herself. “You will not cry” . Crying meant admitting that she was hopeless. She didn’t want to cry, and desperately tried to hold back the sobs that were building in her throat. She stamped her feet and ground her teeth, trying to hold back the tears, but she could feel them slipping out. It only made her more frustrated, which made more tears form, the cycle continuing until she couldn’t hold back from sobbing. It was the first time since she was a filly she cried. She knew she was hopeless.
Starlight lay on the ground, sobbing, feeling a physical pain building in her chest. She felt as though she was drowning, her lungs filling with water, and there was nopony to help her. They stood in the distance, talking and yelling, but not coming to help. They were uncaring, watching as she drowned.
She was filled with anger and sadness and loneliness. And hate. Hate was what Starlight felt. She hated the ponies around her. She hated the way Equestria was. She hated her whole life . She was never ever going to be happy. She had no family. Nopony liked her, nopony wanted to be her friend. The one pony who did like her, the one friend she ever had, had left her alone. He probably didn’t care. He’d probably forgotten about her.
Why did Sunburst have to leave her? He was the only pony she ever cared about, the only pony who ever cared about her, and a cutie mark took him away from her. She didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. A cutie mark just snatched him out of her life and left her alone in a world where nopony liked her. Why did he have to leave?
Now she was alone, and nopony cared. She just wished somepony care. She wished there was someone there for her to let out her frustrations. Somepony to hold onto her problems, instead of her having to bear the burden alone. But no, no such pony existed. And the princess, Twilight, made sure that she would always know that.
“Stop crying!” she told herself angrily, trying to hold back her sobs. “Crying won’t change anything!” . She used her hooved to wipe her tears, took a few deep breaths, and tried to think. The princess had ruined her life. Even if her philosophy was wrong, it was the princess who ruined her life. She could have just let Starlight live in peaceful ignorance, but no! She just had to go and let her know how hopeless she was. Starlight was happy, and the princess had to go and ruin her life!
Starlight once again became angry. She would make her suffer the way she suffered. She would make sure of it. She would make sure Twilight understood just how alone she’d been for so long, what it felt like to have the ponies she cared about torn away from her. Starlight would see to it that she got her revenge.
Author's Note
Once again, I'm dissatisfied with what I wrote. This time however, I don't know why. But still, expect Chapter 19 to be 8 million times better
Time Travel (18)
Chapter Eighteen:
Starlight sat in the castle, waiting for the princess to return. It had been several months since the last time she saw Twilight, but she didn’t forget about her. Her loneliness kept the princess permanently on her mind.
The last several months were the most painful Starlight had ever endured. She was forced to go back to living in Sires Hollow, which was made worse by the fact that nopony even seemed to notice her absence. She’d been gone for several years, and they still didn’t care. And it hurt, more than she imagined it would.
She spent her first several days feeling hopeless, feeling like she should just give up on life. Why should she even continue? Nopony liked her. She would always be alone. And if she was always going to be alone, what was the point of getting revenge on Twilight? Maybe she should just give up.
However, Starlight fought these thoughts away. She wasn’t ready to give up. Giving up meant that there was nothing to live for. If she gave up, she knew she would never be able to pick herself back up. And since nopony else cared about her, that meant she would stay down forever. And however hopeless things seemed at that moment, Starlight wasn’t ready to accept such a fate.
So she went back to living in her previous home, now dusty and filled with spiders, focusing only on her revenge. She wanted Twilight to suffer. She wanted her to feel how she felt her whole life. She wanted to take away the princess’s friends. No, she wanted to make it so that she never had her friends in the first place. She was obsessed with it. She didn’t talk to or interact with anypony, staying cooped up in her home except to find a new book to study for a spell. Not that it mattered to her. It wasn’t like any of these ponies cared about her.
Slowly but surely, she made progress. Within a few weeks, she found an old spell of Starswirl the Beared’s, an unfinished time travel spell. However, it was one only able to be used once, and she knew she would need it more than that. So she spent the next several weeks tinkering with it, working out a way to use the spell an indefinite number of times. She also planned on trying to use this spell on something equally important, perhaps more so, but would work on that later. For now, she was focused on the princess
After this, she spent several weeks learning about the princess’s past, as well as those of her friends. She was particularly interested in how she and her friends all got their cutie marks at the exact same time. She felt like she could use this fact to her advantage, and planned on using this fact, combined with her time travel spell, to break them up. She was going to make the princess suffer through loneliness like she did.
All of this lead to this moment, Starlight lying in wait for the princess. She sat crossed legged, hooves on the table, waiting in the throne room as the princess entered. She caught the look of shock and fear on her face, and relished it for just a moment, as she watched it change it to a look of anger. “What are you doing here?” the princess demanded.
“I’d tell you,” Starlight spat as she cast her spell, “but I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise,”.
With that, she traveled back in time, crumpling up and throwing the paper she used for the spell on the ground just before she left. She went to the day Twilight and her friends got their cutie marks, with the plan of stopping that from happening. She knew about Rainbow Dash’s explosion, a Sonic Rainboom she called it, and knew that all she had to do was prevent that from happening. And then Twilight and her friends wouldn’t get their cutie marks, and then she would suffer.
She watched from the clouds as Twilight appeared. “She’s so predictable ,” she thought as she watched her look around, trying to find out where she was. Luckily for Starlight, the princess’s predictability helped her in this case. She would only be able to suffer if she remembered the friends she used to have, which is why she made the spell so that it would only be deactivated after she deactivated it. The only two places that Twilight could go were the present and this very moment in the past. Starlight also made sure to set it up so that, if Twilight were to figure out a way to come back to this moment from her new present, Starlight would automatically follow her to this moment. Which meant that there was nothing to prevent Starlight from taking her revenge.
She waited until the race started, then moved out of the clouds she was hiding in, in full view of the princess. She wanted her to watch as she destroyed her life, just as she watched as the princess destroyed hers. She saw Twilight watching her, and, the moment before Rainbow Dash performed her rainboom, made a show of using her magic to stop her in place.
“What are you doing?” the princess yelled as she made her way towards Starlight.
“You are about to find out,” Starlight told her, putting on an evil grin as she watched Twilight get sucked back to the present.
Once Twilight disappeared however, the grin Starlight wore for her dropped, and a feeling of frustration began to creep up on her. She wasn’t happy. She had just enacted her revenge, taking away everything from the princess like the princess had done to her. Yet she wasn’t happy, and it made her frustrated. She was frustrated that she couldn’t take joy in the suffering of the pony who made her suffer.
The feeling of hopelessness began to creep up on her again. Why was she even here? It wasn’t like it would change anything. Even if the princess suffered, she would still be alone. Nothing she did to the princess would change that fact, and she hated knowing that.
However, before she could think more about it, she felt a tug on her body, and watched as a portal opened up to take her back to a few minutes ago. “Already? ” Starlight thought, annoyed. “Fine. Maybe watching your life get ruined a second time will make me happy”.
She let herself be sucked in the portal and deposited back to just a few minutes ago. At the same moment, she saw Twilight get deposited there, too. “Do you understand how much I hate you? ” she thought, waiting for her to get into full view. Once she was, she quickly used a spell to freeze her in place. “Did you really think I’d let you come back and ruin my fun?” she asked her, putting on a fake grin for her. “Sorry to tell you this, but the spell I’ve created won’t be undone quite so easily,”.
She turned to fly away from her, to let her watch as her life was ruined again, then turned back and jumped on the frozen block she was trapped in. “My village,” she angrily told her, “was a sanctuary of equality, where no pony’s cutie mark allowed them to feel superior. It was a place where everypony was happy, but you made me watch as you and your friends ruined it! Now you get to watch as I ruin something special of yours!”.
With that, she sent a beam of magic at Rainbow Dash, knocking her off course and making her rainboom fail. She then looked up at Twilight, giving her a smile and a wave as she was once again sent to the present.
Once she disappeared, Starlight let out a scream of frustration. She wasn’t happy . She was hitting Twilight where she knew it would hurt her the most, but it did nothing for her. It did nothing to quell her anger and hate for the princess. She didn’t even feel a little bit better, and it made her more frustrated than she could stand.
She wanted somepony to vent to, somepony to hear her frustrations and tell her it was going to be okay, but she had no one. She’d been keeping her emotions pent up inside her for her whole life, and she hated it. Even in her village, she didn’t dare tell anypony her feelings for fear of them turning away. She had no choice but to keep everything in, and she felt like it was killing her.stay put in the present? ” she screamed as she was once again pulled in.
Author's Note
Almost done. Probably two more chapters, three at the most
The Past (19)
Chapter Nineteen:
“Up for another race-ending fight, Twilight?” Starlight said through gritted teeth as she watched the princess appear. She didn’t even try to pretend she was happy this time. They’d gone through this several times. She wanted her to know just how much hate she had for what she did to her.
Rather unexpectedly, the princess sighed. “No,” she told Starlight. “I can’t stop you,”.
Starlight looked at her, completely confused. Despite her frustrations, she hadn’t expected the princess to give up so easily. “So what?” she asked her, putting a scowl back on her face. “I’m not worth your time now? You didn’t seem to think that before,”.
“I can’t stop you,” the princess told her again, “but you can’t stop me from trying. We could be doing this for all eternity,”.
“If that’s what it takes to make you suffer for what you did, then so be it,” Starlight spat.
That was a lie on her part. She didn’t want to do this for all eternity. She didn’t want to be stuck with the anger and loneliness she felt for all eternity, holding in her emotions, never able to be happy. But, seeing no better options, she shot a beam of magic at her, to which Twilight responded by deflecting it with her force field.
“Stop!” the princess told her. “What your doing here goes beyond just friendships. Every change you make here has a ripple effect that changes all of Equestria!”.
“Spare me your oversized ego,” Starlight told her angrily. “No group of friends, not even Princess Twilight’s, is that important! ”.
With that, she shot at Rainbow Dash, once again knocking her off course and preventing the rainboom from happening. “Now go back to the present,” she told the princess as the portal once again opened up, “and leave me alone! ”.
However, Twilight caught her off guard and grabbed onto her, bringing Starlight with her to the present. The next thing Starlight knew, her eyes were being blinded by sand blowing across some sort of desert. She took a few seconds to look around, seeing nothing else but empty barren wasteland. “Where are we?” she demanded.
It took everything in Starlight power to not turn away from the princess and break down. She knew where she was. She was in the present. Twilight had brought her here to prove without a shadow of a doubt that her way was wrong, to show her that she was more important than her, to humiliate her. She wanted her to know that her way was wrong and that she’d always be alone. She wanted her to know that the only thing left was for her to give up.
Starlight wanted to break down. Seeing the present made her want to give up. She didn’t want to keep going knowing that nothing was going to change. That she was always going to be alone. She just wanted to give up. The only thing stopping her was the princess. She was not going to break down in front of the princess. She was not going to give her that satisfaction. So instead, Starlight stood glaring at her angrily, waiting for Twilight to tell her what she already knew.
She watched as the princess paused for a moment, then began softly, “I don’t know why my friends and I are so important to Equestria, but we are. Everything you do in the past affects the future, even the tiniest act,”. She paused, then told her, “What you’re doing leads here,”.
Starlight ground her teeth in frustration, still resisting the urge to break down. She hated Twilight for what she’d done to her. The princess could have just let her be happy . But instead, she spat in her face and told her that she was better than her, showing her there was no hope for her.
“I know I can’t stop you,” the princess added, “but I thought showing you this might change your mind,”.
“Don’t act like you know me,” Starlight grumbled, turning to face her. “You don’t know anything about me. I was perfectly happy until you and your friends ruined my life!”. By the time she was finished, she was screaming.
“I don’t know what happened to cause you to steal other ponies cutie marks, and I’m sorry that that ruined your life, but we had no other choice,”.
The princess was so disingenuous in her apology, and it made Starlight’s teeth chatter. She might as well have said to her “I’m sorry that I’m better than you, but I don’t care”. She thought Starlight was just some jealous pony, not even knowing how much she was suffering.
Starlight was frustrated. She wanted somepony to know how much she was suffering. She wanted somepony to know. She hated keeping everything bottled up. But she didn’t want to tell the princess. And yet, she still wanted her to know. She wanted her to know just how wrong she was. Starlight was conflicted. She wanted the princess to know how much she suffered because of her, but hated the idea of telling her. She would rather tell any other pony in Equestria besides her. But still, she wanted her to know.
Angrily, Starlight cast her spell to a point in the past. Before she knew it, she and the princess were standing in the dark cave she went into to get away from her just a few months before.
“What are we doing here?” Twilight asked her, confused.
Starlight responded by looking at the princess with absolute hate, pointing to her past self. “That’s what you did to me,” she told her through clenched teeth.
She took her back to when she lay crying on the ground, when she felt like she was drowning. She wanted her to see what she’d done to her. She wanted her to see just how much she hurt her.
“I had a home. I had friends. I was happy ,” she continued. “And then you and your friends came in and ripped it all away from me,”
“Starlight, I didn’t mean-”
“Stop it!” Starlight snapped. “I don’t want to hear you lie to me! You ruined my life, and then brought me to the present to rub it in my face!”
"I'm not trying to rub anything in your face," Twilight tried to tell her. "I didn't mean to make you feel this way. But I couldn't-"
"Yes you did!" she interrupted, her voice starting to raise. "You wanted to see me suffer because you think you're better than me!"
"I don't think I'm better than you! I'm not trying to make you jealous-"
There it was again . She hated that the princess didn't understand what she was trying to show her. "Don't act like you know me!" she screamed at her, getting choked up. "You don't know anything about me!"
"I would if you would tell me !" the princess tried to tell her.
Starlight screamed again. She couldn't understand why the princess didn't understand her. She didn't want to have to tell her what she was going through. But she wanted her to know .
In a fit, she opened up another portal to the past, taking them farther back in time.
Author's Note
This chapter feels... rough . Like a rough draft at an ending (err... almost an ending). It also feels short, like I should've added more, but I don't know where. I've been working on it for several days, and this was the very best that I could come up with. Kinda disappointed, but don't entirely dislike it.
Regardless, there's only one more chapter to go (woo-hoo!)
Convincing (20)
Chapter Twenty:
Starlight and the princess now stood in a quiet, sunny town staring at an ordinary looking home. “What are we doing here?” Twilight asked quietly.
“Look,” Starlight told her bitterly, pointing to the window. Then she went silent, letting Twilight watch the scene unfold. However, Starlight didn’t watch with her. She already knew what would happen.
She let the princess watch as she and Sunburst played around a table stacked high with books. She let her watch as she bumped into it and the stack came tumbling down on her. She let her watch as Sunburst caught the stack with his magic and kept it from falling onto her. She let her watch as Sunburst got his cutie mark and, almost immediately, his parents came in to take her friend away from her.
"That's what a cutie mark did to me," she told the princess, trying not to get choked up. "It took away the one friend I ever had and left me alone,".
Twilight paused, trying to decide her next few words carefully. Finally, she said, "I understand what happened to you, and how you must have felt… but you have to try and make new friends. You can't use that as a reason to take away other ponies cutie marks,".
"I tried! " Starlight yelled, giving in to telling Twilight how she felt, tired of holding in her problems. "I didn't want to be alone! I tried for years to find somepony to be friends with, but no one ever wanted to be, and I… don't know why!".
Starlight paused to catch her breath, and just before Twilight could say something, continued, "And then the first time I made new friends, you came in and drove them away! The first time I wasn't alone, you had to come in and ruin it!".
"I'm sorry that I made you so upset," Twilight tried to apologize, "and I'm sorry you were so alone, but you can't trick ponies into being your friend,".
"I wasn't tricking them!" she said, trying to defend herself. "What I told them-"
"I know you don't think you were tricking them," the princess interrupted, "but telling them you don't have your cutie mark and saying that cutie marks are bad is tricking them. At the very least, it's lying to them,".
“What was I supposed to do? Stay alone? Keep on trying and failing to make friends since nopony likes me?”. Her voice was cracking by the end of the sentence.
“Why would you think that nopony likes you?” the princess asked, confused.
“Cause they don’t !” was Starlight’s angry reply. “They treated me like dirt! They ignored me and acted like I didn't exist, and they wouldn't tell me why!".
“That’s not an excuse to lie and steal other ponies cutie marks! I know how bad you must feel, but how you went about it was wrong! You have to keep trying to make friends!”
“And what? Fail? Over and over again? I was happy, and then you came in and ruined my life!”
By this point, Starlight was in tears. She tried to keep from crying in front of the princess, but couldn’t help it. She’d kept everything bottled up for so long, she couldn’t control herself now that she was telling somepony else.
“You couldn’t have been happy,” Twilight whispered, “having to lie to your friends,”.
“It was better than being alone like I’d always been,” she said bitterly. “But you don’t care. You think I’m worth less than everypony else,”.
"That's not true,"
“Then why did you drive them away?” Starlight yelled at her.
“Starlight, if I thought you were worth less than everypony else, I wouldn’t be trying to talk to you right now,”.
“You’re only talking to me because you care about your own life as princess,”.
“That’s partly true, but it’s also because I care about what you’re going through,”.
Starlight wanted to believe her. At that point, she wanted to be convinced she was wrong. She was tired of being upset and angry and alone . She wanted to be convinced that she wasn’t worth less than everypony else, but after what she’d been through in her life, she was having a tough time.
“You didn’t seem to care before, when you first met me,”.
“You’re right. I didn’t care, and I was wrong. We might not be where we are now if I did,". She paused for a second, then continued, "But Starlight, going down this road isn't going to change anything for you. I know it might sound selfish, but ruining my life isn't going to make yours any better, and I don't think it'll make you feel that much better either,".
"Then what am I supposed to do ?" she asked the princess teary-eyed.
"You have to keep trying," the princess said softly. "Keep trying to make friends. Lying and taking ponies cutie marks is not the way to do it,".
"I don't want to keep being alone!" she screamed. "I don't want to keep trying and failing to make friends when I know that no one likes me! ".
Starlight huffed as she watched Twilight think. The princess was thinking of a way to convince her. Starlight wanted to be convinced. She hoped she would be convinced. She wanted to believe that there was another option, that if she kept trying she wouldn't be alone. However, she was skeptical.
Finally, after a long silence, Twilight said, "I'll be your friend,".
Starlight began to get angry again at this suggestion. "Don't lie to me! ." she told her. "You don't like me. You don't care about me. You just don't want me to take away your friends,".
"I don't want you to take away my friends," the princess said honestly, "but I also don't want to see you be alone,".
"You're lying! As soon as I give up, you're going to abandon me, just like you made my village abandon me! You think you're better than me, just like everypony else!".
"That's not true-"
"How do I know?"
Once again the princess paused, and once again, Starlight hoped she would be convinced. After a brief silence, the princess told her, "You're right. You don't know. I could abandon you, and if I were in your position, I would think the same thing. But I need you to put your trust in me, because you have to know that continuing down this road isn't going to change anything for you, except maybe seal your future,".
Starlight clenched her jaw in frustration. She didn't want to put her trust in the princess, she wanted to be convinced by the princess. She didn't want to have to put her trust in the pony who took everything away from her. However, she knew the princess was right. She knew that continuing down this path wasn't going to change anything. But still, she didn't want to have to trust Twilight.
"I don't believe you," she told the princess. "You don't care about me. At best you just feel bad about what you did to me, and I don't want to be there just for you to feel better,".
"Starlight, I stand by what I did. But I also stand by what I said before. I care about what you're going through. I understand-"
"Don't tell me you understand!" she yelled angrily. "You don't know what it's like to be alone! You don't know what it's like to have to go day after day, week after week, year after year with no one to talk to, with no one who even acknowledges you! And then, when you finally do find friends, to have somepony come along and take that all away. And then, after all that, to have to put your trust in the pony who ruined your life! ".
The princess paused again for a moment, seeing how upset Starlight was, then started, "I know our situations aren't exactly the same, but I was alone once, too. In my case, I didn't want friends. I thought they were ridiculous, and I thought it was even more ridiculous to have to trust somepony else. But you have to trust other ponies. You can't make friends without it. You have to trust that they'll be there to help you, or, in your case, you have to trust that they won't abandon you,".
"The last time I trusted somepony, a cutie mark took them away. The last time I tried to make friends, they treated me with indifference,".
"I know, but you have to trust that that won't happen. I know it's hard, and I know that I've done nothing to deserve your trust, but I need you to trust me when I say that I won't abandon you,".
She hated this. She hated the way this was going. She hated the fact that she was likely going to have to put her faith in the princess to be there for her, and she wasn't convinced that she would. She knew that if she gave in, the princess would just leave her alone. But still...
"Why did you have to ruin my life?" she asked her with a mix of anger and sadness.
"You're life isn't ruined. You have to trust me when I say that. There's still tomorrow available to you. But like I said, if you continue down this path, nothing's going to change, and your life will be ruined,".
Starlight began to shake again. She knew everything the princess was saying made sense, but she wasn't convinced. She didn't want to have to put her fate in somepony else's hooves. She didn't want to be lied to, and she didn't want to be friends with the princess. But more than that, she didn't want to be alone. She clenched her jaw harder and closed her eyes tight. What was she going to do?
Chapter Twenty-One:
Starlight Glimmer still felt alone. She didn’t feel quite as alone as before, but she still felt lonely.
The princess had stuck to her word when she said she wouldn’t abandon her, but she still didn’t think that Twilight liked her. She certainly did try to at least be her friend, but to Starlight, it felt more like a counselor talking to a student. Still, it was more than she could say about the rest of the princess’s group, who it felt like didn’t want to be around her at all. Not to mention the rest of Equestria, who Starlight felt like still ignored her. Still, it was better than where she was before, when she was completely alone.
She and Twilight had several conversations discussing what had happened to her, with the princess trying to convince her she wasn't as disliked as she made out, and just had to try and make new friends, but Starlight didn't believe her. After all that she'd experienced, she was going to have a tough time believing what the princess told her.
It had been about three weeks since Starlight decided to put her trust in the princess when she stood facing the place where they first met. The village looked largely the same as when she left several months before, although she noticed it was a bit more colorful now, with banners and things hanging up on some of the buildings… and everypony had their cutie mark. Seeing it now, Starlight began to feel slightly ashamed at what she'd done, and was beginning to get overwhelmed by the idea of having to apologize to them.
"I don't think I can do this," she told the princess. “I just- I can’t ,”
“Yes you can, Starlight,” Twilight told her. “I have faith in you,”.
“They probably still hate me,” she said. “They probably won’t forgive me,”.
“If they don’t forgive you, then so be it. All you can do is apologize and move on,”.
Twilight walked towards the village, but Starlight stayed put. She didn't want to see the ponies she made hate her. She remembered how quickly they abandoned her, and knew they wouldn't forgive her. She wanted to run away and not have to deal with this.
Twilight looked back and called to her. "It's gonna be fine, Starlight. I'll be with you the whole time,".
Slowly, Starlight walked into the village behind the princess, keeping her head down and crouching slightly, as though she were trying to remain unseen. It wasn't very effective however, and the town quickly took note of her and the princess's presence.
“Starlight?” somepony asked. “What are you doing here?”.
She lifted her head up slightly to see who it was, but caught sight of Double Diamond first. He was sitting at a table with two other ponies, and stared directly at her. Seeing him made her suddenly feel overwhelmed, and gave her the urge to run. However, before she could, Twilight interjected.
“Starlight is here to tell you all something important,” the princess said, then looked to her. “Starlight?”.
Starlight looked down at the ground. “I- um, I-” she stammered. She started to breath faster. They might have hated her, but if she didn’t say anything, she would never know that. If she didn’t apologize, there would always be a small chance that they might not hate her. She wanted to hold on to that chance.
“Starlight,” Twilight said, as she felt the princess put a hoof on her shoulder, “you can do it,”.
Starlight huffed slightly. She wanted to make sure she said her apology carefully, and make sure it captured the way she felt about the situation. “I’m sorry I lied to you all about my cutie mark,” she told them, still looking at the ground, “and I’m sorry you all felt like I was manipulating you,”.
She looked up, and saw confused looks on their faces. She was sure they hadn’t expected to see her ever again, let alone see her apologize. There was a long pause before the silence was broken by Party Favor. “Uhh… okay,” he got out. “We, uh… we forgive you,”.
There was another long pause. Starlight felt like they were only accepting her apology because they had to, because they wanted her out of their hair. She didn’t feel like they hated her, but definitely felt like they didn’t like her or want her there. She was just about to turn around and start to leave before Party Favor spoke up again. “Did you want to stay awhile?” he asked.
Not that much later, Starlight was sitting with Double Diamond in front of Sugar Belle’s bakery. She didn’t know why she chose to sit with him. She knew he hated her. But still, she was compelled to. With him she sat, both of them looking at the table, as though each wanted to say something.
“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she finally whispered.
Double Diamond kept looking at the table. “Okay,” he responded.
“And I’m sorry I took your cutie mark and kept my own,”.
“Okay,”.
“And I’m sorry I made you give up so much of your life for so long,”
“Okay,”.
Starlight began to feel overwhelmed again by his responses, and put her head on the table. “Please believe me when I say that I didn’t want to lie about my cutie mark,” she told him as tears started to form.
“Then why did you?” he asked, looking up at her.
“Because I didn’t want you to hate me,” she sniffed. “I didn’t want you to abandon me,”.
“Why do you think I would have done that?” he asked. “If you would have expla-”
“Because everypony hates me,” she told him, closing her eyes. “Or, at least, no pony likes me,”.
“Why do you think that?” Double Diamond asked, confused.
“Because they don’t!” Starlight choked out as she started to cry. “Nopony ever wanted to be my friend. Nopony would ever even speak to me, and I didn’t know why. And the one friend I ever had abandoned me once he got a cutie mark,”.
Double Diamond bit his lip. “Starlight,” he said. She looked up at him, and said, “I understand how you feel, but you have to trust that that won’t happen again,”.
“That’s what the princess says,” she commented, wiping away her tears, “but that’s harder to do than she thinks,”.
“Well, the princess is right. It might be hard, but you have to keep trusting. Even if it means you keep getting hurt, you have to keep trusting. Otherwise, you’ll never have any friends, Starlight,”.
“It’s still hard to do,” she sniffed, “especially when you feel like nopony likes you,”.
“I can’t speak for everypony else,” Double Diamond told her, “but I don’t hate you. I don’t like what you did, but I do like you,”. He then smiled, and said, “So that means that everypony doesn’t hate you,”.
Starlight lifted her head up slightly. “Do you promise you don’t hate me?” she asked him.
“I promise I don’t hate you,”. He paused, then asked, “Do you trust me when I say that?”
“Well,” she said, “from what you and the princess told me, it seems like I have no choice,”. She then smiled a small smile.
Author's Note
The End.
