Twilight Invents Something New

by Wing Dancer

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 3236

Twilight Sparkle feels like she needs to do something important in her life.

Twilight Sparkle decided that only through inventing someting totally new and innovative can she trully be "awesome".
The question is, what hasn't been invented before?

Cover image used with permission from Mafon

Published 2012-08-19 04:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-19 04:44:01 UTC

Because Inventing is Fun

Twilight Sparkle woke up at least half an hour before her alarm clock went off. Yes, she was that excited. This was the day she was planning for since last Tuesday. The checklist for today was very short compared to the others that lay securely in her checklist cabinet. Why?

Well, today Twilight would invent something new. She didn’t yet know what it would be so it was a pain to phrase the task on paper. Eventually, “creative activities with the aim of producing something unique and original” took its place on the checklist, amongst other mundane daily tasks.

One would ask ‘Why does Twilight want to invent something? Isn’t she famous enough?’ If the question ever got worded, the mare herself would probably admit it to be a very good one. She had all a pony could ever ask for. Her teacher was the sun goddess herself, a dear friend since her foalhood years. Twilight’s magical talent was unique even for a unicorn, reinforced further by being the Element of Magic. She lived in a library, full of books that she could read on forever. She was never bored thanks to her five best friends who were also the Elements of Harmony. Her assistant, Spike, was the best baby dragon and most dependable friend. To top that list off, she recently attended the wedding ceremony between her Big Brother Best Friend Forever and Cadance, her foalsitter who was also the best foalsitter ever. And a Princess

Yes, Twilight Sparkle was well known and liked, her fame spread through tales of defeating Nightmare Moon, encasing the Spirit of Chaos in stone and repelling an army of Changelings. Everypony was her friend and she never had a reason to complain about anything. So why bother with research? Why try when all you stand to gain can be hoofed to you on a silver platter without batting an eyelid?

Well, everything that she had…she didn’t feel like she deserved it.

Magic talent? She was thankful to her mother and father for great genes, and Princess Celestia was responsible for the supreme magic education she got.

Fame? Her friends were famous as well and if it wasn’t for them, nopony would even know of Twilight.

So take all that away and what was she? A boring old unicorn that did nothing by herself.

But not anymore!

A brush got lifted by magic, vigorously assaulting the unruly purple bed-mane Twilight had. Yes, she was all pumped up, ready for action! She would bite into the task so hard it would leak cream, like a Sugarcube Corner Special Doughnut. She was ready, oh yeah, she knew she could do this! And today was the day!

“You can do this!” she smiled to her reflection. “You’re the mare! Oh yeah, who’s the mare? You’re the mare!”

“Twiiilight…” mumbled Spike, turning around in his basket. “It’s still fifteen to seven. Can you turn it down a notch?”

“Oh, sorry Spike,” giggled the mare. She leaned in and nuzzled the grumpy baby dragon before silently going down the staircase.

* * *

“So, what’ll it be for breakfast Twi? Pancakes? A sandwich? Something more brain-stimulating?” mocked the dragon with a smile.

“No, thank you, I already ate. I want to be as far ahead of schedule as possible today, so get down to the laboratory and clean that mess up. I’ll finish dusting up here and then come down to help you.”

“What? You are actually going to lift a hoof around here to clean?” asked the dragon, his brows going up in astonishment.

“Don’t be silly Spike, I clean here…from time to time.” The mare vigorously swept her duster across several books. Their spines livened up, the engraved letters glittering in the rays of the rising sun. “C’mon now, we don’t have much time! Get down there!”

“Uh, right! Yes ma’am!” The dragon energetically saluted and disappeared behind the basement doors.

Everything was going great! Just a few more things and Twilight would be able to delve into the sea of inspiration that was just waiting to pour down on her. She never felt so vigorous in all her life! Ideas were overflowing, each one more interesting than the last!

A special toothbrush for earth ponies to use? Nah, too simple. A new spell to clean your coat without having to rinse? Probably already done. Oh, oh, what about a contraption that would help your day get started? Like, uh, a super bed? With a shower, built-in fridge, wardrobe…so many possibilities! Having original and fresh ideas was the easiest thing ever.

* * *

“Twi, settle down, you won’t be able to read that later if you write so fast,” complained Spike, looking over his friend’s shoulder. The mare wrote so fast that half the words were nothing more than curved lines.

“Uh, Spike, I don’t have time for this! And I can’t go inventing great stuff when it isn’t properly documented. It would be like not having a checklist or todo list for a day!”

“Like that would be a tragedy,” sneered the dragon.

“Spike, this is serious! I’ve been waiting for this moment for a week now, and I’m wasting time by writing instead of doing!” Twilight tapped her quill on the half-filled page, thinking hard how to speed up the process. Maybe that could be her invention? A quicker way to document inventions?

“Aha! Spike, you’ll write while I get things going! It seems so obvious now,” giggled the mare, shoving the page and quill into her assistant’s face. “Okay, so, um, let’s start with a basic concept. Will it be a spell, a machine, trinket, recipe? Hmm…”

“What, you want me to write that? Hmm? Helloooo? Okay, she’s gone,” shrugged Spike, sitting down on the ground, ready to write as soon as Twilight returns from the place she always goes when over-excited.

From the depths of her mind.

* * *

Each pony has their own inner world, an imaginary place populated with figments of their minds. Twilight’s recluse was an infinite chessboard, its borders shrouded in distant darkness. It was a neat and orderly place – no excess could be found, only simplicity. Pieces she needed would be summoned according to need and expelled as soon as they weren’t needed.

Right now, the black and white floor was more or less a field of clutter in which Twilight tried to decide what to pick. She kept talking to herself, as hearing her own voice, even in her mind, helped her think more clearly. Like arguing with someone intelligent.

“Okay, so we need something like this, but with the simplicity this one provides,” hummed the mare, levitating over a few random looking pieces of equipment. Even in her own mind everything had to make sense, so Twilight used her telekinesis spell to wade through the trash in her imagination.

“Huh, this looks promising. What is that long…ohhh, nope, not safe for work, hehe. Maybe some other time,” she whispered, throwing away the offending trinket into non-existence.

“Jeez, everything is so interesting. But there is only so little time I can spend on developing my creation. I mean, I already have a tight schedule of things to do for the next month, who knows when I’ll have the time to sit down and brainstorm like this. Ohhh, I should have done this instead of sleep. Who needs it anyway. If it wasn’t for sleep, everypony…oohhhh. Ohhhhhh. Oh, oh, oh. That is good. That is good. You’re the mare Twilight! Who’s the mare? You’re the mare!”

* * *

“Spike!” shouted Twilight, startling the baby dragon who was beginning to dose off. “Write please: ‘Dream utilization spell slash trinket slash machine, by Twilight Sparkle’.”

“Huh? What’s with all the slashes?”

“Well, we can’t limit ourselves to just one thing, right?” grinned the mare. “Now, just try and keep up…”

* * *

The following hours were filled with words, passionate discussion of Twilight with Twilight, Spike complaining about some meager claw cramps and stuff flying around as spell after spell flew out of control, toasting the baby dragon’s behind on one occasion.

“Twi, maybe you should try something else?” offered the assistant, reluctantly peeking from behind a turned over table. The pot on his head made metallic sounds as it slid on his green spikes.

“What? No! I’m positive I can get this right, I just need to find the right amount of dreams and reality. I can feel I’m close!”

“Listen, I swear that the last time you cast that spell I saw something glare at me from that hole you made in the ceiling. It reminded me of the things Hoofcraft wrote about in his books.” To emphasize his words, Spike made an impression of something horrible waving it’s hands around in a soul-hungry manner. “You know, it would be dumb if you’d have to save Ponyville again, but this time from your own doings.”

“Don’t be silly Spike. I’m not even using that a difficult spell. There is no way a monster from any other dimension could possibly appear. You know why? Because inter-dimensional monsters don’t exist.”

“Oh yeah? Where’s the proof for that?”

“Oh, just hush and keep writing! I’m sure I’m this close to getting it right. Now, write. Test twenty-three, using a different figment of imagination this time. Intensity will be around forthy-three percent. Imaginary conduit will be. A kitten.” Twilight paused to glare on her giggling assistant. “What? Oh, just write you!”

* * *

“Hay this Twi, you can say what you want. That, that, was not a bunny. I’m certain bunnies have only two eyes and one, exactly one mouth that does not contain three sets of jagged teeth.”

The mare sat down on her haunches, staring at the wall in front of her.

“I admit. That was awkward. But I’m certain that I added just a bit too much reality. And why does this spell keep escaping my horn? I can’t seem to focus it inwards…as if it was bubbling up or something. Hmm…maybe I should use static objects instead of living ones? Such as clouds or rainbows? I mean, everything I tried so far was an animal, animals are known for fleeing ponies, right?”

“You asking me? Twi, seriously. I don’t care. But if you spoil another cute and fluffy animal for me by giving it that blood-thirsty look, I’m getting out of here. I’m scared out of my scales as it is.”

“Sorry, Spike. I didn’t mean that. I promise, no more strange hallucinations. I’m giving this one last try. If the spell breaks loose, I swear I’ll look for another invention.”

“Pinkie Promise?” asked Spike, raising his brow expectantly.

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” recited Twilight, poking her eye with a hoof. “Now, test thirty. Thirty is in a way the third tenth, and third time’s the charm, right? Ekhem. Intensity precisely forty-two point seventy-three percent. Imaginary conduit used. A white, fluffy cloud.”

The mare took a deep breath and performed her spell once again. This would be the final take, so she focused extra hard on each step.

First, draw in magic energy from the inner self, just enough to get her horn nice and warm. Spread it across the head, especially the cheeks, so that it feels like a warm and comfy pillow after a hard day’s work.

Extract some more energy, carefully guiding it around the fuzzy feelings, wrapping herself in a bubble that made her body relax. A cloud appeared in Twilight’s mind, a white and majestic cumulus. She let her imaginary self, a reflection of her body, rest on in. Yes, it felt nice. She could lay on it all day long, just doing nothing, thinking about all the things in the world. Her mind gradually cleared as the rest of the incantation slowly flared to life.

It felt weird at first. Her body was all rested and didn’t have a care in the world, while her mind was as sharp as ever. In fact, she could see what was going on around her. Spike was staring at her expectantly, the pot secured on his head by both claws. The laboratory was dimly lit and the mare could see every detail of it. Was she asleep? Was she awake?

* * *

Twilight fell forward like a plank, driving her muzzle into the cold wooden floor. She flailed around a bit, regaining control of her body.

“Twi? Are you alright? You looked like you zoned out back there.”

“Ugh, I’m fine Spike. Jeez, that hurts,” complained the mare, touching her sore nose.

“So, uh, did it work?” asked the baby dragon, glancing around. “I don’t see any mutant ducks or anything, so the spell probably stayed in your head. Did you even cast it?”

“Yeah, I sure did! And it felt great! I was so relaxed…and my mind was all crystal clear! I may have done it Spike! A way to keep awake while resting!”

“Oh, okay. But are you sure? Do you feel rested?”

“Well…it was only a few minutes I guess. We’ll have to find out when night comes,” smiled Twilight. Gosh, everything worked out just as planned! She would be famous for her own thing! A new spell, a revolutionary spell, one that would allow ponies to work more than ever before!

* * *

Twilight was anxious for the rest of the day, checking the clock every few minutes. She was absent minded during her meeting with the gang, imagining the possible applications for her spell. Foals learning faster, shortening the education cycle by a few years even. Writers writing books sixty-two percent faster, having the liberty of thinking up events while their bodies rested. Finally, the mind would overcome its greatest downfall, sleep deprivation! One would just cast the spell, or use a specially designed trinket to activate it, and then rest up while thinking.

There was also a lot of room for improvement too. If Twilight could manage to tap into the motoric capabilities of the body while asleep, just like sleepwalking does, ponies wouldn’t need to waste time in bed at all! Gosh, if this would work out, if the spell would really work, she could push Equestria into a whole new era of super productivity!

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity and a day more, the sun finally decided to head for the horizon. The wall clock finally rang out seven times, announcing bed time was near.

“Twi, it’s really early, you usually stay up until the candles burn out,” complained the baby dragon, seeing his friend frantically brush her teeth in preparation for sleep.

“I know Spike, but today there is no time for that! I need to know if the spell works properly. I’ll occupy my mind with something fun, like counting the powers of two, oh, or maybe even three! If I’ll be fresh in the morning, then we’ll have one hay of a letter to write to the Princess, the Starswirl the Bearded Foundation, the Arcane Arts Association-”

“I get it, I get it. Geez, you’re really worked up over this whole thing, aren’t ya?” groaned the baby dragon. He liked to sleep, but wasting two or three hours of his usual awake time seemed…well, a waste.

“Don’t complain, it’s for the Greater Good. For Equestria. Now, sleep!” ordered Twilight, closing the blinds and preparing the spell…

* * *

“Oy, wake up Twi. Hello? Well? Did it work?” Spike’s head was fuzzy, causing the mare to rub her eyes. That helped clarifying the purple face of her companion. He looked anxious.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, the spell. Wait. Huh? Darn it!” Twilight covered her muzzle with her hooves.

The memories were coming back to her. She was rested and felt divine all over her body. If she could ever bathe in a rainbow, that would probably be the feeling that inhabited every fiber of her being. Her mind was super sharp and she was merrily counting her powers of seven (because she can, of course).

Somewhere around the fifty-second power, where the number required quite a lot of memorizing and multiplying, Twilight begun to feel sleepy. She brushed the feeling aside, discounting it as a minor fluctuation in the spell. A quick adjustment made the drowsiness go away. For a while. She fought the comfort that made her mind close down and forget the individual digits, replacing them with pre-sleep mumbo-jumbo about bunny monsters consuming sixes and sevens.

Her final thought was that it was half past one in the morning, around the time she would usually fall asleep over a book or research paper.

“Darn it, the spell didn’t woooork!” Twilight threw a tantrum, knocking her small assistant off the bed. “I fell asleep. Darn it. All that work for nothing.”

“What do you mean Twi? The spell does work, it made you feel good, right? I mean, maybe it didn’t rest your mind, but you did say you felt good, right?”

“Well…yeah. I do feel fresh.” The mare focused on her body for once and yeah. She felt like she spent a few hours at the spa. Each muscle was relaxed and ready for the day. Like a new-born foal, she felt vigor swirl happily around her whole being. Her back wasn’t aching, and the neck that was always so stiff and numb finally loosened up.

Mornings were always awful, like moving from bed would be the end of her. But now? She could practically jump up and race Applejack or Rainbow Dash to Canterlot and back.

“Spike…Spike, grab some paper and quills! Quickquickquickquick!” urged Twilight, showing her assistant towards the drawers. “Now, write. Oh, c’mon, you’re so slow! Write! Ehkem. ‘Personal Spa Relaxing Spell’, created by Twilight Sparkle, assisted by Spike the Dragon. General Concept…”

* * *

“I’m telling you guys, it was right here! It was just like -plomp- and there was a big friggin hole in nowhere!”

An entity that could vaguely be taken for a twisted rabbit with several dozen eyes and a giant, teeth filled maw flailed around its tentacles, indicating a place in space that was too hard to describe using mortal four dimensional terms. Its friends stared at the spot with unconvinced expressions, if one could actually read their malformed features.

“Yeah, right. You set this up with Ubfgsdio, didn’t you? He said the same story, haha, very funny. And what else, you probably saw some hideous monsters from that hole, didn’t you?”

“I swear, they were there! All covered in hair, with their ugly faces. I mean, geometry wasn’t even applicable! It would yank your eyeballs inside out should you see it!”

“Oh, yeah, great story. So what, did those things talk to you? Want you to take them to their leader?”

“No, no! They just stood there and watched me. I almost oomped myself. Damn that was scary! I ran so fast I didn’t even care to see if those things followed me or not.”

“Yeah, right. Keep on trying. Looser.”

The others went away, leaving Orrghat alone. Nothing believed him. And there was no way he was hallucinating.

“Okay, I promise. No more experimenting with powers. What knows what could happen if those things would seep through to our reality…ugh! So ugly!”