Self-Punishment

by Anonomis

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Violence, Sunset Shimmer, Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad, Equestria Girls
Length: 1036

Sunset decides to punish herself for saying the wrong thing

I did state previously I wouldn't be writing another Anon-a-Miss story; this was just written as a dark moment for myself and needed a way of expressing those feelings.
Due to the contents of this story; I do not have any hatred towards Sunset Shimmer (on the contrary; she is one of my favorites along with Octavia and both Twilights)

Published 2020-01-09 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-09 19:30:01 UTC

Chapter the Only

Sunset Shimmer turned around in the crowded hallway and headed through the front doors of Canterlot High. Taking a glance upwards; she noticed the sky decided to become dark gray as it started to rain. Not caring about the imminent deluge of water; she immediately set off as the rain decided a small amount wasn't enough and let loose a greater torrent instead.

With the increased flow; Sunset found herself completely soaked down to her underwear by the time she reached her front door. Upon entering; all clothes were removed as she carried them towards her dryer. While she waited; her naked body headed towards her closet as a simple pair of red shorts and yellow t-shirt were removed before grabbing a pink towel to dry off with and getting dressed. Normally; her television would have been turned on while she relaxed from school but instead she sat in silence in her room and shut her phone off as tears started to fall. Moments prior to her abrupt exit from school; Sunset was confronted with the accusation of posting secrets against her friends using the name ‘Anon-a-Miss’ on MyStable.

FLASHBACK: MOMENTS AGO

“How dare you post those comments,” Rainbow Dash yelled “We trusted you with those secrets!”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Sunset calmly answered “Could you explain what happened?”

“You announced on this page my childhood nickname,” Applejack replied “Something that only five others heard, including you.”

“Photos that were taken on your phone; in private; I might add were uploaded on the page,” Rarity added

“With everything you've done; it's a wonder why we even helped your sorry ass in the first place,” Dash commented

“I was the one that saved you from being brainwashed from the Sirens,” Sunset retorted

“And who was it that turned into a raging she-demon hell bent on enslaving the school,” Dash demanded “We should have left you in that crater to rot like the piece of shit that you are!”

CURRENT TIME

“I never should have tried. I can't do anything right,” she said through her tears “I'm a Celestia-damned fuckup.”

“Whoo boy, this isn't good,” a voice mused

“Who are you,” Sunset asked, talking out loud to herself “Never mind. Just go away.”

“You're just hearing things in your head,” the voice replied “I'm not really here.”

“Then I don't have to listen to this,” she argued, covering her ears

“You have nothing to lose by listening to your conscience.”

“Nor anything to gain either,” Sunset muttered

“You make mistakes, you fix them,” the voice argued “You try to take back what you said. Maybe you can fix your friendship.”

“What's the point? I'm a good for nothing screw up,” she asked, wiping her eyes “I have no family and the only people I thought of as friends just left. Why not just finish the job? No one's going to care if I dropped dead anyway.”

Taking her own advice; she headed into the bathroom and retrieved a razorblade from a box in a drawer. Returning to the bedroom; she sat down on the floor and tested its sharpness on her arm by running the flat edge parallel to the skin as a few hairs were cut.

“It seems so easy,” she mused “Just draw this over my wrist and possibly my throat. It wouldn't be quick or painless; but maybe the pain would remind me of my mistakes.”

Still holding the blade; she grabbed a used piece of paper from a nearby trashcan before using the blade to cut through the paper; pretending that was her wrist instead.

“Do I really want a mess left behind in my wake,” she questioned “Nah. They don't deserve to see that.”

After returning the blade to the box after covering it back up; she instead looked for a length of rope that could be used instead. Once again; she returned to her room as she set to work attempting to tie a proper hangman’s noose after finding the rope.

“Damn. I never thought a simple knot could be so damn hard to tie,” she muttered

After a few dozen tries and failures; Sunset undid the last knot she tied and wadded it up, tossing it into a far corner without caring where it landed.

“Perhaps it's better I don’t hang myself. First; I don’t have anything strong enough to support my weight. Secondly; I definitely wouldn't try in public where I know someone will stop me,” she muttered “Maybe non-fatal punishment would be best? I have heard about others getting hit with something called a ‘switch’ or belt. Why not try that? I’d have to use a belt since I wouldn’t know where to get a switch or what it is.”

Sunset opened up one of her drawers and removed a leather belt. Despite knowing where the material came from; she chose to ignore it as there seemed to be little to no alternative materials. Holding her prize in her hand, she held her right arm out, palm up; and swiftly brought the strap to the flesh with a loud CRACK.

“Damn. That's what I wanted,” she decided, looking at the red welt that just formed “Now time for the other arm for fairness.”

Having struck the underside of her forearms, the tops were struck next before a new target was decided. Her back was exposed as she allowed the shirt to still hang around her neck. Holding the belt in her left hand; it was brought across her back from left shoulder to right hip before the process was repeated the opposite side. In total; fourteen swings were completed against her back to go with the four on her arms; the number representing her age in that world.
Finally exhausted from the beating; Sunset had put her shirt back on properly before getting the dried clothes out. Deciding on punishing herself even further for her verbal transgressions; she headed to bed without bothering to make anything to eat for dinner after her simple toaster pastry breakfast. The next day; she decided to just stay home to let her marks heal for a bit; but mainly because she didn't care to see anyone.