The Devastation of a Lifetime

Pinkie Pie sniffed as she looked at the memorial that the town had erected for Rainbow Dash, complete with a statue of the Pegasus in mid-flight. Everything in her little world had come crashing down around her, and she didn’t know who to turn to. She didn’t think that her friends, who had never been married before, would understand her plight. She thought that they would put on an overly sweet and saccharine façade while, inside, they judged her severely. The very thought of her dear companions being so cruel drove her to tears all over again. She loved them, and she wanted to believe that they loved her enough to be truthful with her.

But she had attended Equestrian funerals before, and had seen the inner workings of those ponies who would seem to give comfort, but actually shook their heads behind a veil of propriety. They seemed to be inoculated against true sadness and pain, and they refused the sickness. She felt sick, and she wanted so much for somepony to understand this disease. She needed a metaphorical doctor, but felt that nopony qualified for the position. So, she cried, alone in her darkness. The storm clouds of life had decided that she would be their next target. She didn’t do anything irrational or outrageous. Her grief was real, and she felt every bitter claw that tore at her soul.

Suddenly, she felt a new presence behind her. It seemed to be warm and inviting, but the pink mare could not be sure. The aura was right, but did the actual pony fit the bill? Was she as advertised? Could Pinkie trust this new presence to comfort her in her grave hour? She silently begged some unknown force to answer all of those questions in the affirmative, then slowly turned around to see Twilight standing there. No, she told herself, not you. Anypony but you. You’ll just tell me things I already know!

“Pinkie,” Twilight said softly, wiping tears from her eyes, “I…I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, don’t start that with me, Twilight,” Pinkie growled as her grief took hold, “you’re not sorry! You’re just here to silently judge me for weeping so much!”

“That’s not true, and you know it,” Twilight said, putting a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder, “I’m here to comfort you. It’s what friends do in the wake of such tragedies.”

Pinkie ripped her shoulder away. “I have no friends!” She wailed in distress, “I used to, but then they all got taken away from me in the space of one mare’s fall into the sea! I’m…alone. Do you know how that feels, Twilight Sparkle? To be absolutely and unbearably alone? I don’t think you do. You’re the ruler of Equestria. How the hell could you possibly understand?!”

“Damn it, Pinkie, I’ve lost ponies, too!” Twilight yelled, a bit louder than she meant to. She didn’t want to harm her friend, but she also wanted to get her point across. Pinkie felt that, because she was displaying a very real and very natural sadness, she had nopony to help her through this crisis. She felt what every single pony had felt ever since the dawn of time: guilt. She was blaming herself for Dash’s death, even though she didn’t openly admit it.

“Don’t you yell at me, Princess,” Pinkie said darkly, and with a sarcastic grit accentuating Twilight’s title.

“I’m sorry, Pinkie,” Twilight said, “I didn’t mean to be that harsh with you. You’re one of my best friends, and I must remember that. But all the same, you can’t think that nopony understands the way you’re feeling right now. Remember, Rainbow Dash was our friend, too.”

“But you weren’t married to her,” Pinkie said, “you didn’t love her like I did. You weren’t there every single day, watching her spiral into a dark depression from which she never recovered! You weren’t in our home, trying your best to create an atmosphere of happiness and love when all she wanted to do was cry! You weren’t in bed with us at night, trying desperately to find some sense of togetherness, when all she did was turn away! YOU WEREN’T THERE!”

Pinkie couldn’t hold her emotions in and collapsed into Twilight’s embrace. A flood of tears pushed their way out of her eyes and matted the princess’s shoulder. Twilight bent her head around Pinkie’s neck and used one of her wings to gently stroke her flank. But Pinkie continued to wail, and it broke Twilight’s heart. The amount of love and devotion that the pink mare had for her deceased lover was as high as the cliff that had taken Rainbow, and even higher than that. It showed in every salty expulsion that carried its way down her cheeks. It showed in every little vocal strain that both caressed and strangled Twilight’s ears. It was real.

Twilight pulled back and looked Pinkie square in the face. “No,” she said, “I wasn’t there. You’re right. I couldn’t possibly stand on the same emotional pedestal as you are. But I can at least rise to that level. Pinkie, my brother died last year.”

“But you weren’t married to him,” the pink one said abruptly.

“No, I wasn’t,” Twilight responded calmly, choosing to ignore Pinkie’s rudeness, “but I was his sister, and I was devastated. Do you remember that I locked myself in the castle in Canterlot for days?”

Pinkie sniffed and nodded. “I remember. You wouldn’t eat anything, and we were all so worried about you.”

“That’s just it,” Twilight said as a small smile crossed her lips, “I was doing the same thing you’re doing, and I had friends to help me through it.”

“What do you mean, the same thing I’m doing?”

“You’re blaming yourself,” Twilight said gently, “when you don’t need to blame anything or anypony. What happened was a pure accident, and while the tragedy is palpable, your friends are even more so. Turn to them in this time, and they’ll help you.”

Pinkie looked deep into Twilight’s purple gaze and saw a sense of honesty that she had not seen in other funeral attendees. Perhaps she had been quick to jump to conclusions, and she should follow the ruler’s sound advice. She embraced Twilight once again and silently thanked Celestia for causing the two of them to meet in the first place. She knew that she had somepony to turn to in this crisis, and she felt peace settle into her heart. Everything’s gonna be alright, she told herself, I should never have forgotten the amazing nature of my friends. They’ll stick by me, no matter what.