Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!

In today’s episode, I’m going to be trying something that I didn’t know was a thing until about a week ago. Or rather, it’s something that I didn’t know was a thing done on such a large scale and with a high level of professionalism.

Today, I’m going to try…marble racing!

And since I can already tell some of you are raising your eyebrows and wondering what the heck I’m talking about, allow me to explain. See, there’s this thing out there called the Pulp Marble League that’s basically a sports league for marbles. It was started a few years ago by a pony named Pulp Fable and features marbles participating in a kayfabe of various events such as races and block pushing.

Hehe, kayfabe. I love saying that word.

Anywhoo, from what I’ve been able to gather it’s taken a bit of time for this marble league to really take-off. In fact, it wasn’t until only fairly recently that its popularity really started to skyrocket. If you’ll look at this chart I made, um…

Shoot, where’s that chart I made?

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Okay, I can’t find the chart I made, but believe me when I say that it shows a large spike in viewership for this marble league over the last few months. And that it’s a very meticulously-created chart with proper scaling proportions and accurate data points presented in colorful shades of yellow and purple to catch the eye.

But putting my chart aside for the time being, it turns out that the Pulp Marble League allows just about any pony to enter a marble into one of their races as long as they apply within four days of the race and their marble successfully completes a time trial. And guess who applied for today’s race four days ago and had their marble successfully complete a time trial?

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That’s right: Trixie!

Wait.

Trixie?! What are you doing here?!

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You’re entering a marble into this race?

Of course you are.

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*SIGH*

Yeah, all right. Show me your ‘great and powerful marble’.

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Um, are you sure this is a marble, Trixie? Because it looks an awful lot like it’s one of your smoke bombs.

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All right, if you say so.

So, what’s your marble’s name?

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Smokey?

Uh…huh.

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Oh, my marble? It’s right here in my bag.

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See? It’s a swirl marble made up of a gray core and light blue and green threads on the outer part of the sphere. I got it at the Ponyville Hobby Depot and decided to name it Sea Foam because of how the colors make it look like the foam that’s formed when dissolved organic matter in the ocean is churned up and – Trixie?

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Aaaand she’s gone.

Rude.

But anywhoo, everypony, this is Sea Foam; the marble I’m entering in today’s race.

Oh, and I should probably give you all a quick run-down of the race itself before it gets going. As you can see here, the track for the race has been carved out of this large sand dune and features many twists-and-turns such as hairpin turns and chicanes. There are also a few small wooden boards along the track that act as speed-boosts but I don’t think you can see any of them well from here.

They’re mostly towards the bottom of the track.

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Oh, hey, Spike. Did you get us signed-in?

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Great! Now let’s get Sea Foam over to the starting line and – uh, Spike? What have you got there?

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Aww. You made a sign to help support Sea Foam?

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‘Roll like the wind, Sea Foam’. I love it!

Thanks, Spike.

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Oh, sounds like the race is about to start. We better hurry and get Sea Foam over to the starting line.

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Okay, there you go, Sea Foam. Just do your best and don’t forget to have fun out there.

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Ooooh, here we go.

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All right! Go, Sea Foam!

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Oh my gosh, Sea Foam is in third place right out of the gate!

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Darn it, another marble just passed Sea Fo – no, wait! Sea Foam just retook third!

Good job, Sea – aaaand a different marble just passed Sea Foam.

Boy, positions sure change quickly and frequently in this sport.

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Uh-oh, the marbles are coming up on a hairpin turn.

Approach using the full width of the track, Sea Foam!

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Good. Good.

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All right! Way to move into second place, Sea Foam!

Did you see that, everypony?! Sea Foam managed to initiate a sharp, late turn and target a late apex in order to increase his exit speed enough to overtake those two marbles!

I’m so proud.

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Looks like a lot of the marbles further back are changing positions often, but Sea Foam and the marbles in first, third and fourth place all have enough distance between each other to make position changes more difficult. But I think I see a chicane coming up pretty soon, and that thing could definitely cause some big position changes.

Hopefully for the better.

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Easy, Sea Foam. Easy.

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Wow! Did you all see that?! Sea Foam waited until that marble in first place was in the chicane and then collided with it to avoid entering the corner altogether and take the lead!

Way to roll smart, Sea Foam!

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Okay, all the other marbles have cleared the chicane now. And it looks like there’s only one other marble that could possibly challenge Sea Foam for the lead right now.

Hold on.

Is that…Smokey?!

Oh not Smokey! Any marble but Smokey!

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Yeah, yeah, Trixie. Your marble is doing well, but don’t get too cocky. There isn’t much track left and Sea Foam has a pretty good-sized lead over Smokey, so unless something cataclysmic happens in the next minute or so I’d say Sea Foam has this race in the bag.

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Oh, very funny, but I did not just jinx myself by saying that.

I hope.

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Almost to the finish line.

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Uh-oh. There’s a loose twig on the track.

Swerve, Sea Foam! Swerve!

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Phew. He cleared it.

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*SMALL EXPLOSION*

Um, did Smokey just… explode upon contact with that twig?

Ha! I knew that marble was actually a smoke bomb! I knew it!

Well, Trixie, what do you have to say for yoursel - aaaand she’s gone again.

Oy vey.

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What’s that, Spike?

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Sea Foam won the race?! Whoo-hoo!

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Great job, Sea Foam! I’m so, so proud of you!

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Ah, come on, Spike. Treating your marble as though it weren’t just an inanimate object is all part of the kayfabe experience.

Hehe. Kayfabe.

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Oh, um, thank you, sir. I wasn’t aware that there was a prize being offered for 1st place in this race.

Though I guess that would explain why Trixie was here.

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Wow. Seems like there’s a lot of bits in this bag.

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Sorry, Spike, but I think these bits would be better put towards new classroom equipment at the School of Friendship rather than all the cake we could eat at Sugarcube Corner. Although, some cake does sound pretty good right now. How about we stop and get a slice or two on the way home to celebrate Sea Foam’s victory?

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Okay, just give me a moment to wrap-up my vlog first.

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Well, everypony, I’d say this certainly ended up being a more interesting episode than originally expected. When I decided to try marble racing I really didn’t expect my marble to actually win, and I definitely didn’t expect to end up competing against Trixie.

Though the whole Trixie’s-marble-actually-being-a-smoke-bomb thing was kinda wonted.

But anyways, since the race is over now it’s time to bring this episode to a close. So from myself, Spike, and Sea Foam, thanks for watching, and we’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!

All right, Spike. Let’s get going.

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Oh, don’t worry, Spike. I think I’ll be doing more marble races in the future so you can keep your sig – wait a second. Can I see your sign for a moment?

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What the -?!

Spike, this is my chart showing how the Pulp Marble League’s viewership has spiked over the last few months! Didn’t you check to see if there was something on the other side of this before using it to make your sign?!

*SIGH*

First Trixie’s marble turns out to be a smoke bomb and now your sign turns out to be my chart. What’s next? These bits I just won turn out to be chocolate coins?

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Huh.

Well I’ll be darned.

Author's Note

For more exciting marble action, be sure to check out Jelle's Marble Runs on YouTube!

Go Shining Swarm! 🥇

If there's something you'd like to see Twilight try, please let me know in the comments!