Spike, I’m glad that you’re concerned about my health and well-being, but for the hundredth time everything’s going to be fine. I told you, none of this is real.

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Well, no, it’s not exactly fake. It’s more like it’s…fixed.

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Look, I don’t have time to explain all of this in detail. The event is going to be starting soon and I need to get the introduction for my vlog underway.

Ahem.

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Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!

In today’s episode, I’m going to try…wrestling!

And before you say anything; yeah, I know. This isn’t something I ever expected to try either. But when the E.W.E. – or Equestrian Wrestling Entertainment for those who don’t know about it – ask you to participate in an exhibition event for charity it’s kind of hard to say ‘no’. So, yep, that’s why I’m here at Flairmount Park in Fillydelphia today.

It really is as beautiful a park as I’ve heard.

Now as you can imagine, prior to agreeing to this E.W.E. exhibition event I’ve had no wrestling experience whatsoever. None. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d never even witnessed a wrestling match before. Well, unless you count the time I stumbled upon Fluttershy wrestling a bear. But in all honesty I’m not entirely sure she was actually wrestling with the bear.

I never did follow-up with her to find that out.

But anywhoo, I should probably mention before going much further that this exhibition event today is a tag team match, meaning that I’m going to be partnered with somepony whom I can ‘tag in’ for me and whom I can ‘tag out’. And as to who my tag team partner is, well, it’s kind of a funny story.

You see, when I agreed to do this the E.W.E. offered to send somepony to meet with me a few times a week before the event so that I could learn the basics of wrestling. Needless to say I took them up on that offer because, well, you know. And a few days later somepony came to my castle saying they were from the E.W.E., but much to my surprise it was somepony I already knew! Plus, she’s going to be my partner in the tag team match too!

Oh, and here she is now: Cherry Blossom, aka Mystery Mare!

And for those of you from Ponyville who just said, ‘That’s Cheerilee!’, this is actually Cheerilee’s twin sister. I met her many moons ago on a trip to Manehattan with my friends and helped her reunite with her estranged sibling.

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W-Well, yes, Cherry, I suppose Rarity was the one who did do most of the work in getting you two reunited. But I did help!

A little.

Anyways, over the last few weeks Cherry Blossom and I spent a lot of time together so that I could learn the basics of wrestling. And although I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m now an expert on the subject I would say that I’m now more than proficient enough to participate in this event today.

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Pop quiz?

What are you talking about, Che – WAH!

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A-Ah. I see.

H-Half Nelson. This is a half nelson.

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Thank you, Cherry. I always enjoy passing a pop quiz.

Though the quizzes I’m used to aren’t so…interactive.

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Oh, is it that time already? All right then.

Excuse me for moment, everypony. It looks like we’re going to be getting started soon, so I need to go get changed into my outfit for the match real quick.

Okay, I’m all changed into my specially-made wrestling outfit and ready to go!

GRRR!

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What’s so funny, Spike?

It was my ‘GRRR’ just now, wasn’t it? I knew that was going to be too over-the-top.

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My outfit? What’s so funny about my outfit?

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I do not look like a clown! I look like a…a…super macho mare!

GRRR!

Aaaand I just doubled-down on the ‘GRRR’. Great.

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*SIGH*

Yeah, all right, fine. Just keep recording, okay, Spike? The match is about to begin and they’re about to introduce Cherry and I.

Oh, that actually reminds me.

So quick note, everypony. It was recommended that I come up with a wrestling name for this match, like how Cherry Blossom goes by Mystery Mare. And after long and careful consideration, I decided that my wrestling name shall be…Brainy Blitz!

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Oh for –

Can you please stop laughing, Spike?! Brainy Blitz is a cool wrestling name! Cherry thinks so! Right, Cherry?!

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Okay, that ‘yeah’ didn’t sound very convincing.

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All right, let’s get into the ring.

Let me just slide underneath this rope real quick.

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Whoo! I have to say, being here right now and listening to the crowd cheering has really gotten me pumped up for this!

By the way, Cherry, who are we facing in this match?

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Those ponies over there?

Hmmm. They look kind of familiar. What are their names?

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Glimmering Knock Out and The Great and Powerful Roxy?

No. It can’t be.

Starlight?! Trixie?! Is that you?!

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Wha- ? How the hay did the two of you end up here?!

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You don’t know? How can you not know?!

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Uh-huh.

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Uh-huh.

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Okay, that makes sense.

Too many passion fruit martinis while vacationing in Las Pegasus will lead to these kinds of things I suppose.

Well don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you’re my friend and former student, Starlight. And don’t expect me to go easy on you either, Trixie; just because you’re, um…an acquaintance.

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Hey, I have been training very hard for this match, Trixie, and I can really bring the pain if I want to!

GRRR!

Again with the ‘GRRR’. What is with me today?

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All right, that’s it! Bring it on!

*DING*

Come here, Trixie!

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Ha! Got you, you little – WAH!

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Huh, a Peterson escape.

Clever girl, Trixie. I see you’ve done some training too. But it doesn’t matter, because I know a few escapes myself!

HEYAH!

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*GRUNT*

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OOF!

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OW!

Hey! Watch where you’re sticking your horn back there!

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Sorry, Cherry, but I can’t tag you in! This is between me and Trixie! We’re working out moons-worth of unspoken and unresolved frustrations with this match!

Speaking of which.

This is for that time you created a fake online dating profile under my name, Trixie!

GRRR!

Okay, everypony, so the match is over now and Spike just told me that he stopped recording about halfway through it because he was worried it was getting, quote, ‘too intense for younger viewers’. And honestly, I don’t blame him for feeling that way. Trixie and I really started going at it there towards the end. Thankfully not to the point where either of us ended up seriously hurting the other or anything, but, well, we did get to the point where we were using some, shall we say…colorful language.

And I mean really colorful language.

Also, neither of us ever tagged our partner in, so Cherry and Starlight never got a chance to wrestle. And I’ll admit, I feel kind of bad about that.

But on the bright side, I’ve been told that the E.W.E. managed to raise a lot of money for charity because of our wrestling match so at least there’s that. Plus, Trixie and I have surprisingly grown a little bit closer because of this. I mean, it really did help us work through some issues we had with each other.

Who knew wrestling could be so therapeutic?

But anywhoo, since the match is over I think it’s time to end this episode. So as always, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!

All right, Spike, let’s head on home. I may not have been seriously hurt wrestling with Trixie but I sure could use an icepack or two in a few places.

That pony can really throw down when she wants to.

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Yeah, I think that’s a fair assumption to make. While this certainly was interesting I’m pretty sure I’m done with wrestling for the foreseeable future.

As far as I’m concerned, Brainy Blitz is calling it quits.

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Aaaand he’s laughing again.

*SIGH*

Maybe Brainy Blitz really wasn’t as cool a wrestling name as I'd thought.

Author's Note

Special thanks to knightcommander, zerofireking13, and everyone else who suggested this chapter!

If there's something you'd like to see Twilight try, please let me know in the comments!