Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!

In today’s episode, I’m going to try…bushcraft!

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For the last time, Starlight, that is not what bushcraft is! Now will you please let Spike and I record the intro for my vlog in peace?!

And maybe take your mind out of the gutter while you’re at it?

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Thank you!

Now, where was I?

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Oh, right.

Today I’m going to be trying bushcraft. And before anypony else has a chance to ill-define what that is, allow me to explain it. You see, bushcraft is the practice of using developed skills, knowledge, and understanding in order to thrive in a natural environment. In other words, it’s the ability to live in the wild. It’s sometimes associated with ‘doom-prepping’, and while there are some similarities between the two bushcraft is typically done out of a desire to create things from nature rather than out of a sense of needing to survive some catastrophe. So don’t worry, I’m not doing this because I’m anticipating any big disasters befalling Equestria or anything like that.

Nope. Nothing at all.

So why am I going to be trying this today then? Well, the simple answer is that I’ve been feeling a bit cooped up lately and I wanted to do something outdoors. A lot of my princess duties, principal duties, and various other duties have kept me mostly inside as of late and I’ve been longing for some time that I can spend outside, and since I had some time scheduled for a vlog episode coming up I figured I’d use that time to satiate my desire for more bucolic surroundings.

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*SIGH*

Bucolic surroundings means outdoors, Spike.

Honestly, did you even open that thesaurus I got you for Hearth’s Warming?

Oh. I should probably mention real quick that the reason Spike will be accompanying me during this episode is because I need somepony proficient in first-aid to join me just in case I, well…accidently make a big mistake. And since Spike recently took a class at the Ponyville Learning Annex in first-aid it just made the most sense to have him accompany me.

Well, that, and because Nurse Redheart was unavailable.

But anyways, I think that was everything I wanted to cover in the intro. So without further ado, let’s head on out and start practicing some bushcraft!

Okay, so here we are at Neighwatha National Forest; aka the perfect place to record today’s episode! Just look around, nothing but woodland for as far as the eye can see.

*DEEP BREATH*

Ahhh. Smell that fresh air.

Ah…Achoo!

*SNIFF*

And pollen. Smell all the pollen too.

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Don’t worry, Spike, I brought plenty of allergy medicine with me.

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There. Much better.

Okay, so to start things off I’m going to use these tools I brought with me to make a simple pot crane. And just what is a pot crane, you may be wondering? Well, it’s basically a long stick with a notch at one end that’s held up by a smaller Y-shaped stick that’s used for, you guessed it, holding pots above a fire pit.

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No, Spike, we’re not actually going to build a fire pit. We’re just going to construct the crane.

Now let’s see. Where can we find some sticks for this?

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Achoo!

*SNIFF*

Shoot. Guess I didn’t take enough allergy medicine.

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Okay, hopefully I’ll be fine now.

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Ah-ha! Look, a Y-shaped stick! Now to find a sufficiently long stick to act as the crane.

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Hmmm. This one looks sturdy enough but I think it’s a little too long. Although, the axe I brought should be large enough to cut it down to size. Yeah, I think that’ll work.

All right, let’s shorten this stick!

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Huh?

Of course I’m going to use my hooves, Spike. Bushcraft is an earth pony thing, so if I use my magic to levitate the axe I won’t be doing it properly.

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Hey, I am plenty strong with my hooves! Maybe not as strong as somepony like Applejack but still pretty strong! Just watch!

Achoo!

After I take some more allergy medicine first though.

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Okay, here I go.

KYAAAA!

*HUFF*

*HUFF*

Okay. I’m…done.

See? A simple…pot crane.

*HUFF*

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Oh please, Spike. My…exhaustion isn’t because I...wore myself out making that crane. It’s mostly because of the…allergy medicine I’ve been taking. I think I accidently grabbed the…extra drowsy kind when we left the castle.

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Well, whatever the reason I can…still keep going.

Though maybe I should…pick something even simpler than the pot crane next.

Let’s go ahead and start making a…funnel net.

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Don’t worry, Spike. Funnel nets are primarily constructed by…weaving small sticks together, so it shouldn’t be too…labor intensive.

Achoo!

*SNIFF*

You know something? I’m starting to think that the medicine I grabbed wasn’t even for allergies.

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‘Cold and flu medicine: extra drowsy formula’.

Yep, I grabbed the wrong medicine. Again.

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Come on, Spike, we can’t end this episode with only having made a simple pot crane. We have to at least make the funnel net too.

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Like I said, the funnel net won’t be too labor intensive. And besides, even if something does happen you have all your first-aid training to help me.

But honestly, what could possibly go wrong with this?

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Look, let me just get it started so you can see how harmless of an activity it is, Spike. All I need are a few small sticks and some twine.

Now where did I put the twine?

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Ah, here it is.

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See? All I’m doing is tying these small sticks together into a nice little funnel shape. Nothing to worry abou - OW!

Owie, owie, owie, ow!

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Splinter! I got a splinter in my hoof, Spike!

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What do you mean, ‘that’s all’?! Look at the size of this thing!

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Yeah, well, it may look smaller than your pinkie claw but that’s only because most of it is embedded in the freaking hoof!

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*SIGH*

Can we please discuss all of this later?! You know, after we get the painful foreign object out of me?!

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Thank you!

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*PAINFUL SQUEE*

Owie.

Okay, sorry for that little break just now, everypony. I felt it was best to stop recording until Spike got me all bandaged up due to the graphic nature of my injury.

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Hey, there was blood coming out of my hoof after you pulled that splinter out of it, Spike! That means it was graphic!

It might have only been a drop or two of blood, but still.

Anywhoo, since I’ve unfortunately suffered a debilitating injury it looks like we’re going to have to end this episode here.

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I can’t use my hoof because it’s throbbing like crazy and hurts anytime I put pressure on it, Spike! That makes it debilitating!

But anyways, everypony, as always thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!

Okay, Spike, hop on my back and we’ll fly on home.

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Yes, of course we have to fly. I just said that my hoof is throbbing like crazy and hurts anytime I put pressure on it, so since I obviously can’t walk home that means we have to - ah…achoo!

*SNIFF*

I swear, the next time I feel a desire for more bucolic surroundings I’m just going to lock myself in the castle library and read until it goes away.

Author's Note

Twilight used to do bushcraft. Then she took a splinter in the hoof.

Oh sweet Celestia I am old

Happy New Year, friends! If there's something you'd like to see Twilight try, please let me know in the comments!