Pinkie's Plan

by kittyhasnosoul

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Death, Narcotics, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Suicide / Self Harm
Length: 1329

Pinkie overthrows Queen Twilight's regime, the best way she knows how. With cocaine

Pinkie Pie is an earth pony in Twilight's communist regime. She lives in a correction camp. How will our favorite pink pony overtake the dictatorship put in place by Queen Sparkle?
With cocaine.

Published 2020-01-17 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-17 23:10:02 UTC

One Person To Change The World

A masked figure, holding a bag, stood in front of the pink pony. He was handing her the bag, and she handed him bits in exchange.

"Only 40 bits?" The masked figure said. "I expected 50."

"I'm sorry, this week was a hard one," the pony replied. Her hair was stick-straight, and her eyes showed wear. She looked nothing close to happy.

"I'll do 40, but you better turn up with the money, plus the extra ten bits next time, Pinks." He said, before walking away into the shadows.

Pinkie cursed to herself, how was she going to make the money in time? They had just lowered the salary for the workers in the camp she was in. She spent all day doing hard labour and nothing else, and the only thing keeping her running was her sugar.

You see, just a short while ago, Queen Twilight Sparkle took over Ponyville, renamed it Twilightville, and put in place a strict classist regime that put earth ponies at the bottom, and unicorns at the top. All an earth pony was good for was their manual labour.

Pinkie was home now, in the little prison cell she called home. It was a concrete house, for the Pie family. it was mostly empty, except for some beds and a bathroom. She stood in the bathroom, laid the white powder out on the sink, and arranged it into thin lines with a razor blade.

*Snort*

Suddenly, her hair poofed up, and she felt energized. It was time to get to work.

She was working the fields, doing her best she could, and trying to keep distracted in her mind from what her body was doing. It was hard work, especially when she wasn't built to be a farm pony. A loud voice suddenly boomed on the speakers.

"All ponies are required to attend the execution today. We will be executing Derpy Hooves for crime of defying Queen Twilight Sparkle by accidentally electrocuting a unicorn with a storm cloud."

Oh, not again. Pinkie thought, another one of her friends would be dead in a few hours.

At the execution, a derpy pony with crossed eyes stood, tied to a block of wood. She looked confused, Pinkie almost felt bad for her, but everypony knows dying is better off than living in this hell.

Within a second, after they announced her name, her crimes, and warned others to not follow in her footsteps, they began cutting her open, in front of everypony. They preferred slow and painful executions.

The sound of skin slicing open and cries coming from the confused mare did not phase Pinkie. After she was significantly disemboided, they took a rifle and shot her first in her leg, then in her other leg, then in the heart. They left her there to bleed out.

As the mare bled out, she looked around like she was looking for somepony to help her. Shameful.

Pinkie wouldn't dare defy the regime, but sometimes accidents happen, and in this case Derpy was totally innocent besides being impaired. She almost got executed when the regime started, but proved herself to Queen Twilight by showing she was worthy to live.

Pinkie sniffed, then took some of the white powder out of her bag and put it in her hoofnail and snort it up. This would get her through the day.

All the sudden, the guards caught site of her stuffing the white powder back into her bag. They marched over to her, handcuffed her, and held her down on the ground.

"Miss... Pie, what is this in your bag?" The guard asked.

"It's flour, I was baking cookies for Queen Twilight," Pinkie replied.

"Hm. We will see you to the Queen to see if you are truthful. If this isn't flour, or if you're lying, you'll be executed tomorrow morning."

So they brought her over to Queen Twilight's castle. It was a large castle, with flags displaying her face and an upward hoof to symbolize, all hail the Queen. The sight frightened Pinkie, but she stood tall.

Twilight saw her once the doors opened wide, and quickly examined her for a site of a horn, then wings. "What have you brought this useless creature here for? What crime has she committed?"

"We found white powder in her bag, and she said she wanted to make you cookies," said the guard.

Twilight looked spooked, then started laughing, for an uncomfortably long time.

"What is it, my Queen?" Asked the guard.

"I'm allergic to gluten! Expel her immediately for trying to give me diarrhea." Twilight said, suddenly serious, but with a tinge of humor. She liked to play with peoples lives, Pinkie had heard. It was like a game.

Pinkie dared to speak up, trying to save her flank. "I meant oat flour," she inquired, "I heard of your allergy from a few pegasai I met on the job. So I made some flour out of oats, which I bought myself, from the money I earned working for you, my Queen. I admire your work so much, I am an exceptionally good baker, I could make the best cookies of your life."

"They better be," Twilight said. "Take her to the kitchen!"

"I need time," Pinkie said, buying herself time to enact her plan. "A day, give me a day and I'll bring you the best cookies you've ever ate."

Twilight agreed, and Pinkie walked away, just barely, with her life. She had time. She could do this. Finally free herself and her family from the regime. Everyone would be so much happier. Somepony just had to take the first few steps, cleverly.

Pinkie met up with her dealer, giving him all her funds for the next few months to get a large amount of cocaine. He was surprised.

"Finally had enough and wanna do yourself over, huh?" The masked pony asked.

"Sure, just thank me later." Pinkie said. Her dealer was none other than Luna, the only challenger of Twilight's regime. Her sister Celestia was executed, but Luna escaped. Only with her horn and wings clipped off, magic stolen, forcing her to resort to the shadows and dreams of ponies, giving them good ones to fill them with hope. Pinkie couldn't ask for a better friend.

"I don't know what you're planning, Pinks, but I hope it works." Luna said, then walked away.

Pinkie went straight to baking. She poured the large amount of cocaine into the batter, and made herself the best cookies ever. Except she wouldn't dare eat them.

She put just the right amount of cocaine in each cookie to cause a fatal overdose, intending on killing the Queen, or die trying. Of course, if her plan failed, she could just down a few cookies herself and see Twilight on the other side.

She also put a bit of regular flower in there too, just as a fuck you.

It was time. It was time to free the ponies of Ponyville, forever.

"Here are your cookies, Ma'am," Pinkie Pie said, handing the cookies over.

Twilight immediately, without thought, downed four. "These are so great! They make me feel so energetic! Tell me earth pony, what is your secret ingredient?"

Pinkie thought about her answer, and eventually came to one that fit perfectly.

"Sugar."

That was it. Twilight was starting to die. She began choking, and couldn't even get her words out as she suffocated.

"Yfou ifieopodoeos! Eficufte hfer!!!" she screamed, gasping for breath. Within a few seconds, she had died.

The guards looked at Pinkie. "Well played," they said. "You have killed Twilight Sparkle, which makes you the Queen. How can we service you?"

"Free my friends from the concentration camps, and restore Ponyville to its prior glory."

"Yes, my queen."

"And don't call me queen, I'm just a baker!" She said, with a genuine smile.

They all laughed, and everypony served time for their war crimes.