Penance Walk

by Dark Kitsune

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Sad, Tragedy, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1385

I cannot die and I take this walk every year, at the same time, as my penance for this fact.

I left after the last of my friends died, and now I take a walk every year at the exact same time, following the exact same route, to remember my friends, to remember one of the few truly happy times I've had in my existence. I take this walk as a penance for not being able to die and be with my friends in the afterlife. During this walk my soul is bared to the world and only one question sums it up.

If eyes are windows to the soul, what does it mean that mine are shattered?

Published 2012-08-19 11:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-19 11:04:01 UTC

Penance Walk

I do this walk every year, on the exact date that I left. Right up the main road of Canterlot, around the castle, and straight on towards five filled graves and one that will be waiting eternally for me. Y’know they originally tried to stop me, ran away from the monster walking on two legs with a shattered scythe on her back. Can’t say I really blame them, I’m an anomaly something that shouldn’t be here but is. On my first walk the guards got involved and I just mirthlessly laughed while dodging around their attacks. The unicorns were especially hilarious, once they figured out their magic wouldn’t work on me I believe a few screamed and one kept saying “It’s game over guys. Game Over”. Once I get to the graves I spend five minutes thinking about each of the ponies that the headstone represents.

Applejack, the ever truthful worrier. She never stopped worrying about her apples, she even passed away in the fields, among the trees that she truly called home. I could say that she was the sturdy rock which we all depended on, but that’s not really true at least for me. I just wanted her opinion, which was bound to always be honest, even if it might hurt me to hear it. The rest always liked her in their own ways, counted on her at the times she was needed, and y’know what? She never did fail them when they wanted her most. The words on her tombstone have always had a quality about it the others couldn’t match, like it was just a plain truth that could apply to anything and everything. “Never go down without a fight, and never bother with what ifs”.

Fluttershy, the kindest being I’ve ever seen and probably will ever see. I will never understand her, always apologizing even if it wasn’t her fault; I once caught her crying about Chrysalis, about the fact that the Changelings were on the edge of starvation, I told her she shouldn’t cry for something that so easily attempted to take something as precious as love by force. She told me, taking out the stuttering that made her nearly indecipherable while crying, “Nothing should starve just because their eating habits aren’t something we agree with”. I can’t say I agree with her, I’ve met something’s that I’ve personally wiped out because what they ate or how they survived was something I would just not tolerate. Some would claim she was the heart of our little group, always willing to do what was necessary to help any being, regardless of their nature, with a few obvious exceptions of course. I wholeheartedly agree, because no other could have helped in the way she did. Her tombstone’s final words of wisdom are something I find is so like her, yet so different at the same time, maybe because of the lack of stuttering. “Be kind to all, but don’t suffer for another’s sake”.

Rarity, the fashionista that was the supernova of the fashion world, making dresses that exceeded any other, before disappearing in her greatest moments. She died after her masterpiece was shown, a content smile on her face. Forever generous to any that needed it and one of the best dressmakers I have ever met, not that I’ve met a lot but still. Like a supernova she burned bright once she got her hoof in the door, and is still one of the most celebrated fashionistas that have ever graced the Equestrian dressmaking scene. The final words that grace her tombstone were written by her in her will, unlike all the others “Always be generous, because generosity is the most rewarding thing that can be done”.

Pinkamena Diane “Pinkie” Pie, the genki party girl that always wanted to have a smile on everypony’s face. She lived loud and died even louder, hosting a party in an empty field outside Ponyville that went on for three days and only ended when it was discovered that she was dead. Her funeral was not somber as all the others had been, hers was a literal party, as was stated in her will. It didn’t last for very long but it is still one of my fondest memories. She was always the best of us, and we wouldn’t have saved the world without her song and ever cheerful attitude bringing up out spirits. Her tombstone’s inscription suits her, but makes it clear that you really should be staring at this hunk of rock that stands over her earthly remains. “Live life to the fullest, never stop smiling, and never look back unless it is to learn from the experience”.

Twilight Sparkle, the archmage of Equestria and one of the most magically adept beings I have ever met, even if it was only in one type of magic aided by a focus. She was a shining star once she turned old enough to be entrusted with some of the more dangerous types of magic, and once she got into spellmaking we almost couldn’t pull her out of her room. A bookworm and perfectionist til the end, she created one of the most fundamentally changing spells in all of Equestrian history. She created a spell that allowed those without wings to fly, not as well as a Pegasus mind you, but it still allowed them to get a taste of flight, and aided many ponies that had pegasi children without being pegasus’s themselves. She was always the level headed one of the group, she applied logic to nearly everything she encountered, and almost always knew just the book to help with the situation. Her tombstones parting words are something that fits her, and her achievements, extremely well. “Always push the impossible to the breaking point, and never be afraid to try something new”.

Finally I find myself staring at the grave that marks nothing, and likely never will. It’s my own grave, and at the same time it’s for a separate Rainbow Dash who doesn’t have any of my problems, who doesn’t feel my emptiness. This is for Rainbow Dash the cocky fastest flier in Equestria, not for Rainbow Dash, the immortal’s reaper. Those times are some of my best memories, always being with my friends, nopony afraid of angering me for fear of what I’ll do. I wasn’t the heart, or the soul, or even the logical helper that can get out of any situation. I escalate things, and push everypony to do their best, because not doing so would be an insult to yourself. I may have been rash, a dreamer with a dream I seemed too lazy to properly pursue, but I got there, I was a Wonderbolt, and for several fleeting years I was truly happy, I had my dream job and some great friends to share my good fortune with.

I left all that when the last of us who could die, did, and make my yearly walk to remind myself of times gone by when I wasn’t so empty inside, when I wasn’t afraid to make friends for fear my enemies would attack them, despite the fact that I know they never would, not after what happened to the last guy that did that. My tombstone doesn’t have any parting words because I’ve cut them out of the stone, I’m not dead yet, and probably will never truly die despite how much I wish it. My will declares that I am to be buried here if I die. The words I’ve chosen to go on my tombstone aren’t a recounting of my life’s greatest purpose, and it is most definitely not any words of wisdom for the future generations. It is one simple phrase that sums up everything I am, and everything I wish I wasn’t. If eyes are windows to the soul, what does it mean that mine are shattered? If a soul is what makes something themselves, have I ever truly lived after that fight? My name is Rainbow Dash, and I am the only living being to ever have their soul shattered, and would not wish this fate on any being. The emptiness I feel is something only I must bear, and I am sad to say that I have gotten used to it.