Derpy vs. The Box Ghost

by Blank Page

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 2573

As Ponyville enters packaging pandemonium, a cross-eyed mailmare will answer the call of duty.

The Box Ghost has escaped the ghost jail and is ready to unleash his boxed up fury on Amity Park. But, due to some navigational problems, he finds himself in the strange town of Ponyville. To him, there is no difference as long as he can still make the residents tremble in fear. In the middle of all this chaos, it is up to our favorite cross-eyed mailmare to package this ghost and ship him to his doom!

Published 2012-08-19 12:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-19 12:04:01 UTC

BEWARE!

It was yet another beautiful day at for Ponyville’s local cross-eyed mailmare. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. And, as a bonus, she only misplaced one package at her job with the Equestrian Postal Service. Derpy was beaming with happiness. She felt unstoppable as she walked through the aisles of the Equestrian Postal Service Warehouse. Suddenly, a large tremor shook the building and a purple door appeared before her. She fell back in shock as a large blue primate wearing grey overalls and a matching toboggan hat burst through said door.

“Beware, Amity Park!” the strange creature bellowed dramatically. “For I, the Box Ghost, master of all containers both cardboard and square, have returned to wreak my vengeance and…” The creature, apparently the Box Ghost, looked around in confusion. His eyes soon fell upon Derpy’s quivering form. “Small Pegasus, you shall tell me where I am and tremble!”

“P-P-P-Ponyville, mister Box Ghost, sir,” Derpy stuttered. The Box Ghost was disturbed by this information. He had never heard of such a strange place.

“It appears as if I have made a wrong turn while escaping the ghost prison. No matter! I shall unleash my terror on this new realm,” he exclaimed. He raised his hands and the crates lined upon the shelves started shaking violently. “And with the help of these beautiful boxes, nothing can stand in my way!” The crates suddenly launched into the air. Many of the contents were spilled out as they flew around his body. With an evil laugh, the Box Ghost flew harmlessly through the nearest wall while the boxes following crashed and fell. The Box Ghost returned shortly after, half phased through the wall, and beheld the destruction he had caused.

“Uh, I meant to do that.” He raised his hands again, and the remaining whole boxes flew up in accordance and phased through the wall. He gave the quivering Derpy one last look before shouting “Beware!” and left the warehouse.

Derpy surveyed the mess of wooden planks, Styrofoam packing peanuts, and miscellaneous objects that littered the floor. As if on cue, her boss walked in the room.

“Derpy, are you ok? I heard a crash and I was worried that…” he took his first good look at the room. “Sweet Celestia! What happened in here?”

The mailmare craned her neck to look him in the eye. He couldn’t help but feel awkward as one eye locked onto his as the other drifted lazily to the left.

“I don’t know, sir. I just don’t know.”

<><><>

Derpy flew through Ponyville’s streets toward the library. If anypony knew what to do, it would be Twilight. Being arguably the most talented unicorn in town, she had to have some spell that would send the creature back where it came. The streets seemed devoid of the blue ghost, but Derpy had a feeling he wasn’t too far. She thanked Celestia that Twilight was home, and wasted no time in telling her the strange tale of the Box Ghost.

“Oh, Derpy, I assure you there are no such things as ghosts. You probably just thought you saw this… Box Ghost?” Twilight started pushing the grey Pegasus to the door. “You’ve probably been working too hard over the last few days. Try getting some rest. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some research to do. Apparently somepony’s been stealing boxes of all things.”

Derpy’s eyes shrank in horror. “Boxes?”

“Yes, boxes. In fact, it’s only the boxes. The items that were inside are usually left behind. I don’t suppose you…” Twilight trailed off as she noticed the vacancy of a particular Pegasus. She shrugged off the rude departure and returned to her studies.

It was worse than Derpy thought. The Box Ghost was gathering an army of boxes and Twilight wouldn’t help her. She had to talk to somepony else. Somepony who would believe in ghosts. Somepony who stares in the face of danger and laughs at it. Somepony like… Pinkie Pie! She rushed over to Sugarcuge Corner and busted through the door.

“Pinkie Pie! You’re not gonna believe what just hap…” Derpy’s voice trailed off as she beheld the sight before her. Pinkie was struggling to keep a floating cake box down while other pastries levitated throughout the room.

“Don’t just stand there! Help me get this cake down!” she screamed through the chaos. Derpy rushed over to her aid and pulled down on the cake.

“You puny ponies are no match for my awesome box lifting powers!” a voice bellowed out of nowhere. The Box Ghost appeared at the other end of the cake, struggling to lift it against the pink party pony and the cross-eyed pegasus. His grip slipped and the two ponies fell back with the box in Pinkie’s hooves.

“You dare keep the Box Ghost from his precious boxes? Then fear me and my donuts of destruction!” The Box Ghost let out a laugh as donuts erupted from their containers and bombarded Derpy and Pinkie. The mailmare managed to maneuver around most of the malevolent pastries while Pinkie dramatically took one to the face, causing her to drop the box. The Box Ghost swooped down and snatched the cake. He shouted out another “Beware!” as he vanished through the wall along with all the other boxes.

Derpy looked across the donut covered room. This ghost had to be stopped before somepony got hurt. She left a donut covered Pinkie and entered the streets. It was pure pandemonium in the streets of Ponyville. Ponies were running frantically to avoid the boxes and crates flying out of their homes. The boxes all seemed to be flying in the same direction, which Derpy deducted to be where the Box ghost would be. She followed them back to the Equestrian Postal Service Warehouse.

<><><>

Danny wandered through the ghost zone. He had heard of the Box Ghost’s plan of vengeance. Normally, he would just brush it off, but after the incident with Pandora’s Box he decided to play it safe and stop the Box Ghost before he made it to Amity Park. He searched high and low from Skulker’s island to Walker’s ghost prison without a single lead. He was about to give up when he noticed something… strange…

A purple door, just like all of the others randomly floating throughout the ghost zone, stood out from the others. Danny couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something about it was drawing him to it. He drifted closer to it and halted a few feet before it. What was it about this door that made it so strange?

“Well, here goes nothing,” he said as he walked through.

<><><>

Derpy crept in through one of the warehouse windows. Boxes, ranging from simple wedding ring containers to large wooden crates, flew rapidly around the room. She could see the Box Ghost floating in the middle, arms outstretched and manically laughing.

“Now that I control all of Ponyville’s cube-like containers, I can unleash my furry on the puny residents!” he shouted.

The mailmare gasped. If the Box Ghost were to attack with the all of those boxes at his disposal, Ponyville wouldn’t stand a chance. She had to stop him before he hurt any of her friends. She grabbed a few of the flying boxes, careful to not be seen, and examined their contents. Before her lay a shipment of new pinpoint quills, two rolls of packing tape, a dictionary, and a tray of one dozen muffins from Sugarcube Corner. A smile crept across Derpy’s face as her master plan came into form.

The grey Pegasus carefully positioned herself behind the phantom menace and chunked a muffin at the back of his head. The Box Ghost flinched in reaction.

“Who dares throw a muffin at the Box Ghost? Show yourself, so that I may unleash my prowess in all things box upon you.” Noticing the lack of a response, the Box Ghost lowered himself to inspect the muffin. As he did so, Derpy swiftly flew behind him and smacked him upside the head with the two pound collection of definitions that was a Mare-iam-Webster dictionary.

The Box Ghost fell flat on his face due to the sheer force of the blow. He groggily rose back up to face the brave mare. His red eyes narrowed in agitation at the sight of his opponent.

“Aha!” he exclaimed. “Now that you have so foolishly revealed yourself to me, I shall release the horrors of my many boxes. Behold! The Scarf Box... of Dismay!” On cue, a multitude of boxes burst open, releasing a myriad of scarves from the Carousel Boutique. “Tremble in fear as the rough fabric scratches your neck!”

Derpy emerged from the pile of scarves with a yellow and grey one wrapped smugly around her neck. She looked at it in confusion, then up to the blue ghost.

“What is this suppose to do?” she asked.

“I already told you,” the Box Ghost said in agitation. “It shall scratch away at your neck and make it uncomfortable to breathe. Eventually you will suffocate from the uncomfortable heat constantly surrounding your neck!”

“But, it doesn’t feel too bad. It only itches a little.”

“Aha! The scarf’s agitating powers are already taking effect! Prepare yourself for a long and itchy demise!” The ghost added a spooky “ooh” to add to the effect.

“What if I do this?” Derpy asked as she took off the itchy scarf.

“Curse you, grey one! For foiling my plan you force me to use,” he paused for dramatic effect, “the Ring Box of Sorrow!” Many of the smaller boxes opened up to fire circular metal projectiles at the mare. “Tremble before the panic inspiring constriction of the rings as they slowly cut off circulation to your fingers, causing them to...”

“Umm,” the Pegasus interjected. She waved a hoof before the Box Ghost to show off her lack in digits.

“Curses! You have bested me yet again, winged mare. Now tremble before the...” a muffin was stuffed in his opened mouth, instantly muffling him. Derpy latched the end of one of the rolls of tape to the villain and wrapped him up in a thick layer of the sticky substance. The Box Ghost choked down the muffin and laughed.

“Silly pegasus, you do not know whom you constrain in these bindings. I AM THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE!” The tape suddenly fell of the ghost as his body became intangible.

As he re-solidified, bubble wrap sprung seemingly out of nowhere and encased Derpy in layers upon layers of bubble cushioned plastic. She could barely move inside her cocoon of plastic. The best she could maneuver inside her casing was her wings, but that was perfectly fine with her.

The pegasus shifted her feathers around to readjust the new quills she had hidden in her wings. A sense of relief washed over her as the annoying poking sensation ceased. Using what little maneuverability she could with her wings, Derpy scraped the sharp ends of the utensils against her bindings. The muffled voice of the Box Ghost could be heard boasting his incredible feat to his audience of one. He was completely oblivious of the sounds of popped bubbles emanating from his captor.

When Derpy shredded her way out of the bubble wrap, she picked up the tray of remaining muffins and started hurtling them at the Ghost.

“Ow! Why do you… Ah! Cease this foolish─. Ouch! How dare… Ouch! BEWARE! Ow!”

Derpy advanced closer and closer upon each throw. As she threw the last one, she raised the metal tray with both hooves and brought it down hard on the Box Ghost’s head. As he lay unconscious, the mailmare fastened him securely in a layer of packing tape and removed as many boxes from the premises as possible. When the ghoul started coming to, Derpy stuffed his face with a muffin. At the end of the room, the purple door that let the Box Ghost out slowly opened.

<><><>

Danny couldn’t believe what he saw before him. The door had led him into a warehouse that looked like a tornado had recently trashed. In the middle of the room lay the Box Ghost completely wrapped in packing tape. The scene would have been perfectly normal if it hadn’t been for a small grey pegasus screaming “Eat the muffin!” while stuffing the poor tied up souls face with said pastry. The pegasus paused her pelting to cast a peculiar cross-eyed glance at him.

“Do I need to give you a muffin, too?!” she sneered.

“No! No! No!” Danny waved his hands before him defensively. “I’m only here for him,” he pointed at the Box Ghost.

“What for?” The pegasus’s eyes narrowed.

“He, um, broke out of jail and I was sent to, uh, catch him,” Danny said. It wasn’t a lie. It was more of a half-truth. He had to choose his word carefully unless if he wanted to end up as his target. The pegasus’s eyes stared into his. Well, mostly. Danny couldn’t help but feel awkward as one eye locked onto his as the other drifted lazily to the left. After what felt like an eternity, the pegasus put on a smile.

“Ok then. Here you go,” she said as she flew the Box Ghost over to him. Danny smiled at the sight of the tiny grey pegasus dragged the muffin stuffed ghost across the floor with her wings frantically flapping to stay airborne. Danny gave a quick

“Thanks” and began hauling the Box Ghost out towards the door.

“Wait, before you go!” the pegasus called from behind him. Danny paused and turned to face the winged mare. She flew over to the mess where he originally found her and began rummaging through some debris. She shortly returned, hovering with her forelegs behind her back. “Take this,” she said as she pulled out a muffin.

Danny cautiously accepted the muffin, said his farewell, and departed from the warehouse. As he flew through the ghost zone with his load, he took a bite out of the small muffin.

“Sweet, blueberry.” He said and continued to munch away at it. When he finished he smiled and shook his head. “Sam and Tucker are never gonna believe this.”

<><><>

The Box Ghost sat alone in his prison cell. A few days had passed since the nightmare with the grey pegasus. He couldn’t sleep without having horrid dreams of her attacking him with a tray of never ending muffins.

He heard footsteps approach the cell door. Walker entered the small cell and smiled.

“Get up, Box Ghost! You have a package,” he barked.

“Who’s it from?” the Box Ghost timidly asked.

“Somebody named ‘Derpy’. Anyway, since it was sent specifically to you, I am bound by the rules to give it specifically to you.” Walker said with a scowl. “Here,” he shoved the box in the Box Ghost’s hand and left.

The Box Ghost stared at the package. Who would send him a package? Why would they send him a package? He levitated the box with his amazing box controlling powers and emptied its contents. He screamed in horror at the sight before him and ran to his bed to get as much distance between him and the monstrosity.

Before the Box Ghost's quivering form lay a tray of one dozen muffins and a small card containing only one word: “BEWARE!”