The great coffee explosion of mount doom
It was a beautiful day in Equestria, the sun was shining the birds were singing and ponies were walking around doing their usual chores and tasks. All except Twilight sparkle who was inside of a giant rubber ball rolling down the slopes of Mt Doom crushing ponies as she went, "WHEEEEEEE!" she screamed as the slopes of mount doom were being slowly covered in the entrails of ponies who had unfortunately did not have the mental capacity to move. Fluttershy was at the bottom of the mountain looking up at the giant red covered ball heading towards her, she squeaked "oh noooooo" and then the ball smashed her face into the ground leaving an imprint of her face in the soil. the force of the impact shook ponyville with a giant earthquake that measured 1337 on the Richter scale, this giant earthquake then started to destroy ponyville and started to cause explosions throughout equestria which vomited out youtube a million times and then the youtubes started to dance the polka while singing avenged sevenfold and playing air guitar while doing so.
Ponyville was getting turned into jelly, literally all of the buildings turned into jelly and fell to the floor with a noise that can only be described as a giant minecraft slime fapping which also eating other slimes while doing so. Meanwhile fluttershy picked herself up and went to see pinkie pie who was eating all of the buildings, Fluttershy tapped Pinkie with her hoof to which pinkie responded by eating Fluttershys face and also falcon punching an eagle. Fluttershy fell to the floor and exploded into spike who then went to look for Rarity, Pinkie kept eating. Rarity was busy making a dress for rainbow dash who was outside running after her wings which had somehow sprouted legs and detached from her sides. The wings had lost the speed they once had but made up for it by throwing muffins at Rainbow dash which Derpy then stole and ate them, this caused Derpy to implode into Joseph Stalin who then set about making giant lines of tanks which then ran over twilights rubber ball and popped it causing twilight to fly TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON for a thousand years.
Spike burst in through the door of Rarity's boutique with a chainsaw, Rarity looked at spike and sighed in her usual annoying fashion (no pun intended) and she said "Spike this really isn't the time to disturb the master of dresses" to which spike replied "do i look like i give a shit you filthy whore" and proceeded to disembowel Rarity who started whining, meanwhile in canterlot, Princess Celestia was spying on some ponies having "fun" through her telescope. Princess Luna kept being awesome and the royal guards were having an orgy with some flamethrowing keyboards from the fifth cupcake dimension of tolretnac. Princess cadence was eating a bullet which was seasoned with gunpowder and marinaded in the blood of apples when she got a call from the letter T which asked her to die and so she did and then ressurected herself to become THE SUPER PONY OF THE FOURTH WALL which allowed her to then jump out of the computer monitor and walk the human world which she didn't like because it had gravel.
Back in ponyville AppleJack was rounding up some bunnies since fluttershy died a horrible painful death which can only be described as molten steel being poured into your eyeball while having needles put into your stomach, pumping out the acid and pouring it onto your face. While Applejack was rounding up bunnies by lassoing them which inadvertently turned them each into popsicles that were flavoured by the famed deodorant cans of saitek II, Rarity was still whining after being dismembered by Spike who had now proceeded to smoke a microphone filled with fim fiction stories which were all clopfics because spike is strange like that. meanwhile the worst pony twist was eating a muffin which Joseph Stalin saw and ran over to her and punched her into oblivion and the muffin was then devoured by Stalin in front of his starving people who then started a revolution and caught stalin who then imploded and exploded at the same time which made a black hole that only sucked in soviets, and that is how the soviet union became russia (true story).
Rainbow Dash was still chasing her wings which had somehow managed to summon a Harley Davidson with side-car and mounted MG-42 which was firing jelly beans at a rate of 1200 calories per minute. meanwhile Photo finish was still making ZE MAGICKS which is impossible for her since she is an earth pony an all which caused chuck norris to pop out of fucking nowhere and then he roundhouse kicked Celestia in the face for being a pervert who liked cake made out of towels. Suddenly Gordon Freeman burst out of Celestia and started an epic battle between himself and chuck Norris, the battle raged for many jiffy s until Gordon finally overcame chuck by tapping him and eating his face, a trick he had learned from the great pink master of light bulb assassins from the star Betelgeuse. meanwhile a skyrim guard had his knee shot by an arrow while photo finish killed chickens which somehow caused every single guard and civilian to start attacking her because they must see chickens as their gods or something. photo finish was holding them off with her camera flashes which blinded them.
Suddenly everything shook again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again until i stopped using ctrl c and ctrl v to increase the word count of this fic, Suddenly Mount Doom exploded with the force of a thousand supernovas (if you count pop rocks as a supernova) and sprayed Finely blended arabic coffee everywhere. this caused ponies to get really hyper and join together into a giant ball which then exploded equestria, THE END!
