Pseudo Love

by BrawnyBold

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony Comic, Romance, Feather Bangs, Comedy, Other
Length: 1343

Three magical unicorns fight among themselves while trying to win the heart of a charming Feather Bangs.

Goldcap, Decepticolt, and Zappityhoof were exhausted from another attempt to become alicorns. It wasn't until they see a handsome stallion by the name of Feather Bangs. All three of the mares fall head over hooves for him but they realized that there were three of them and one of Feather. Due to the Pseudocorns' competitive nature, they go against each other.

Published 2020-02-10 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-10 01:40:01 UTC

Witchy Crushes

In the middle of a large forest, there was a small, wooden cabin that looks like it was occupied judging by the smoke coming from the chimney. A few seconds past before there was an explosion from inside of the cabin, causing streams of smoke to come out from all windows. The door burst outward and more smoke escaped to the outside. Three mares quickly ran out of the cabin. One mare was a yellow unicorn and she had frilly, brown manes that looked unkept. Another was a light blue unicorn and she had light blue and black manes. The third mare was a red unicorn with short, light blue manes. All three of the mares coughed from accidentally breathing in some of the smoke.

"Well, there goes that method." the light blue mare said bluntly.

"But we were so close to becoming alicorns!" the red mare whined as she fell to the floor and begin to hit the ground like a filly throwing a tempter tantrum.

"Oh, quit your whining, Zappitity! That never got us anywhere!" the light blue mare lashed out.

"At least I'm not as ugly as you, Decepticolt!" Zappityhoof talked back.

"Enough!" the yellow mare yelled which made the other mares stopped. "There's no point in arguing. If that potion failed, we go back to square one." Decepticolt rolled her eyes.

"Oh what's the use, Goldcap!" Decepticolt replied. "We have been doing almost every stupid thing to become alicorns!"

"There can still be a way, Decepticolt. We just have to keep trying." Goldcap said.

"Yeah, for how long? Until we get old and pruny?" Decepticolt said as she looked away from her friends.

"We won't worry about aging because we will be immortal when we become alicorns!" Goldcap barked.

"Yeah! What Goldy said!" Zappityhoof nodded in agreement.

"Zappityhoof, is there anything else in your brain besides your alicorn obsession!?" Decepticolt yelled, which caused all three of the mares to argue at once. The mares continued to argue until Celestia knows how long until they heard singing coming from the distance.

"Do you mares, hear that?" Goldcap asked as her ears perked up.

"Sounds like somepony is singing." Decepticolt replied as she looked around to see where the singing was coming from.

"It sounds delightful." Zappityhoof said as she closed her eyes while enjoying the sound.

"It's coming from over there." Goldcap said as she and her friends followed the direction where the singing was coming from. They removed a few branches and bushes with their magic before they saw what was causing the singing.
It was a yellow earth pony stallion with nicely combed, brown manes. He sang to himself while trotting down a dirt path in the forest.

"I just love nature! It gives so much inspiration to my poetry!" The stallion said as he continued to sing and trot down the path. The mares just stared at the singing stallion while their jaws were open.

"Whoa," Decepticolt said in response.

"Oh my," Goldcap said.

"Hubba hubba!" Zappityhoof said as hearts formed in her eyes. All three of the mares imagined what would it be like for them if each of them were with the handsome stallion.

Goldcap imagined herself as an all powerful alicorn with all four of Equestria's alicorn princesses bowing to her while she sat on a large, royal throne. The handsome stallion sat besides Goldcap while also sitting on a large throne.

"Congratulations my queen, you have ruled all of Equestria." The handsome stallion said as he held Goldcap's hooves. Goldcap and the handsome stallion started to smooch each other in a lovey-dovey way.

Deceptihoof imagined herself also as an alicorn but she wears black armor similar to Nightmare Moon's. She laughs maniacally as she fired magical beams at scared ponies while they run away from her. Decepticolt pulled a rope of chains that was tied around the handsome stallion's neck and he made his way to her side.

"Kiss my hooves, lover! Also, tell me that I'm the greatest alicorn ever!" Decepticolt commanded. The handsome stallion did what Decepticolt said as he began kissing her hooves.

"You're the greatest alicorn ever, my queen!" the handsome stallion said as he continued to kiss Decepticolt's hooves while she kept laughing in victory.

Zappityhoof also imagined herself as an alicorn but she was prancing through a flowery field while holding hooves with the handsome stallion. They suddenly toppled over until they landed on their backs. Both of them just giggled even though they fell.

"I love you, Zappity." The handsome stallion said as he stroked Zappityhoof's mane.

"I love you too, love." Zappityhoof said before she and the stallion were about to kiss.

"Wait a second!" Goldcap said, which interrupted both Decepticolt and Zappity's fantasies.

"Are you thinking about taking my stallion from me!?" Goldcap said accusingly.

"What do you mean your stallion!?" Decepticolt said offensively.

"I saw him first, so that obviously means I would be the one to speak to him and we would possibly get together!" Goldcap said.

"There you go again! Always trying to get things first before anypony else! As I recall, you don't have much of a record when it comes to love!" Decepticolt responded. Little did Goldcap and Decepticolt knew while they bickered, Zappityhoof took this opportunity by catching up to the handsome stallion.

"Hello there," Zappityhoof said to get the stallion's attention. The stallion turned to see Zappityhoof while she tried to look sweet and innocent.

"Oh, hello there." The stallion said in surprise. "I didn't expect to meet anypony else in these woods."

"That's because I got lost in the woods, would you be a doll and help a mare?" Zappityhoof said while batting her eyes.

"Of course, I would do anything for a mare as pretty as yourself." The stallion said as he offered a hoof, which made Zappityhoof giggle. "I'm Feather Bangs."

"Feather Bangs, what a lovely name." Zappityhoof said with a sigh. "I'm Zappityhoof." She was about to take Feather's hoof until she was knocked to the ground by Goldcap.

"What the hay!" Zappityhoof hollered.

"I apologize for my friend's obnoxious behavior." Goldcap said to Feather. Feather stared at Goldcap in confusion from what just happened. "So, how about we get some coffee together?" Goldcap said while also batting her eyes. Goldcap's flirting was interrupted when she was suddenly covered with pink aura and was tossed away from Feather. Decepticolt then walked up to Feather while giving him a flirty smile.

"The name's Decepticolt." Decepticolt said while twirling her mane. "I like to study magic and I love long walks on the beach." Goldcap and Zappityhoof jumped on top of Decepticolt. All three of the Pseudocorns began fighting among themselves while Feather just stared awkwardly at the scuffle. He slowly trotted away from the mares and returned to his nature trail. It took about a few minutes before the mares stopped their fighting to take a break.

"Hey, where did that hunk of a stallion go?" Zappitityhoof said as she looked around the area, finding no signs of Feather.

"That's just great!" Decepticolt yelled with sarcasm. "You mares destroyed my chance for some romance!"

"How could you be so sure that you would have a chance with him!?" Goldcap barked back.

"I could try!" Decepticolt said with a growl. Zappityhoof was crying with tears.

"We were gonna get married at a castle and have three fillies!" Zappityhoof whined. Three shadowy figures appeared from behind the Pseudocorns. All three of the Pseudocorns got knocked out by something hard and they fell to the ground with small lumps on their heads. The shadowy figures got closer to reveal they were Swoon Song, Fond Feather, and Dear Darling: Feather Bangs' other mare admirers. All three of the admirers held broken baseball bats in their hooves.

"Sorry you three," Swoon said towards the Pseudocorns.

"We're the only three who admire Feather Bangs." Fond said.

"We'll take out any mare who says otherwise." Dear said. All three of the admirers began laughing madly while thunder echoed.