Spike's totally not creepy obsession with Fluttercord

by Leondude

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Fluttershy
Length: 1492

How does Spike know Discord has a tea party with Fluttershy every weekend? It's not like he stalks them or anything. #FluttercordWeek

Ever wondered how Spike knew of the various tea parties Discord and Fluttershy had (as well as knowing that, contrary to what Discord says, he likes them for more than just for the tea)? Sure, it could be that he visits Fluttershy during those times but what if there was another, more likely, way he acquired such knowledge? Guess Twilight's been teaching him bad habits.

Written for Fluttercord Week 2020

#FluttercordWeek

Published 2020-01-19 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-19 00:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1 - Spike at your fanservice

Spike, Big Mac and Discord stared at the pie that they had made, all neatly wrapped up and packaged in preparation for Hearts and Hooves Day. The wrapping was a purplish-grey in colour and it was tied up in a pink bow. And on top was a cute drawing of three sugar cubes and a bell.

"Aw," Spike said "Sugar Belle."

While Spike and Big Mac looked happily at the pie, Discord was mostly apathetic.

"Well, you two certainly have bought into this 'romance' nonsense, hook, line and sinker," Discord said bitterly.

"For a formerly friendless immortal despot, you're pretty cynical," Spike deadpanned.

"I'm a realist," Discord said defensively "And love, like all things warm and fuzzy, isn't real."

"Aw, come on," Spike said teasingly "You act tough but deep down, you're a softie. I mean you don't have tea with Fluttershy every weekend because you like tea."

A week or so ago, Twilight was busy preparing her latest scientific venture. Being so occupied with royal duties as the Princess of Friendship as well as teaching Starlight why mind-controlling your friends into doing oddjobs for you is a bad idea, she never had enough time to engage in one of her many passions in life. And since she is no longer Celestia's student, that meant she now had even more time than she knew what to do with. She flew down to a secret room filled with all sorts of scientific apparatus and machinery, the only part of the Tree of Harmony to survive Tirek's attack, and looked for some binoculars. Unfortunately for her, the binoculars were not in their usual spot. Since her faithful draconic assistant had an obsession he would not tell, Twilight had a very nagging suspicion as to where the binoculars might be. And if they are not at Rarity’s place, then she will have to check every friend’s house until she finds them as well as the culprit.

Spike looked through the window of Fluttershy's cottage with the binoculars he borrowed from Twilight. He saw Discord and Fluttershy enjoying each other's company. He was both happy for and envious of them, for he wished he could have with Rarity what Fluttershy and Discord have with each other. Distracted by the pleasant feelings he was having at that moment, he had a very slow reaction to a great big purple hoof waving in front of him.

"Ah!" Spike gasped as he jumped back in surprise. He was face-to-face with an annoyed alicorn.

"Might I asked what you are doing with my binoculars?" Twilight inquired.

"It's not what you think," Spike stammered out "I was just...uh...seeing how Fluttershy's animals are doing!"

Twilight stared at Spike, unimpressed with his attempt at lying to her. Knowing that there is no point in lying to Twilight, Spike sighed in resignation.

"I was spying on Discord and Fluttershy, okay? I think they make a cute couple."

After that revelation, Twilight gave a warm smile.

"Aw, you're into the shipping game."

Twilight placed her hoof on Spike's shoulder.

"You have taken your first step into a larger world."

"You're into shipping?" Spike asked.

"Are you kidding me? I have it down to a science!" Twilight replied enthusiastically "But it's kind of a little secret of mine."

"Okay. So you don't mind if I borrow your binoculars then?"

"Actually, I do because I need them to be magically interlinked with a device Doctor Whooves has created that we both hope would allow us to look into the past. Besides, you can borrow Starlight's"

"Or I can borrow the ones that guy over there is using."

Spike pointed to a red unicorn stallion with a long, messy dark-red mane and an equally long and messy beard and tail to match. The unicorn was looking at them with a pair of binoculars until he noticed they were looking at him right back. The unicorn hid away his binoculars, looked away and whistled, trying to play it off as nothing.

"I think he has a crush on you," Spike said.

"Unfortunately for him, I'm not into hippies," Twilight replied.

"And yet you're into tall, bland and handsome," Spike deadpanned.

"Hey! Flash Sentry is part of the Science Club!" Twilight retorted "And he helped Sunset and I when the school was taken over by zombies!"

"Wait, you were fighting zombies in Canterlot High?"

"Yeah, I had a chainsaw and everything."

Spike just looked at Twilight, wondering why he wasn't invited to Twilight's chainsaw zombie-fest. In order to prevent things from getting more awkward, and to speed up the plot, Spike handed Twilight her binoculars back and went on his merry way.

Spike stood outside of Discord's house in Chaosville, peeping his head through the window to observe Discord and Fluttershy's tea party. He was honestly surprised that the red unicorn stallion he and Twilight caught stalking them was nice enough to teleport him to Chaosville. He was even more surprised that the unicorn knew what Discord's house looked like. As he looked inside Discord's home, he noticed how ordinary it looked with light pink wallpaper patterned with butterflies of a darker pink and turquoise pillows and furniture that looked very comfy. However, he noticed something very unusual for Discord. Along with him acting normal, it looked like he was fading out of existence. Given Fluttershy's worried expression, Spike assumed that what was happening to Discord was most certainly not a good thing. This made him worried. Is his friend and Guy's Night companion going to disappear forever? Will this favourite ship never come into fruition? What other ships are there that capture the same magic and chemistry Fluttershy and Discord does? The suspense was killing him way more than Discord's normalness was killing Discord. When all hope seemed lost, he saw something very peculiar happen. He saw Fluttershy spin a plate of sandwiches around and take a bite out of every single one of them, which is rather unhygienic when you're with company. He also bore witness to Fluttershy grabbing every reflective object in Discord's house and talk to herself in the mirror. Before he wondered if Fluttershy had gone mad, he realized that Fluttershy going mad would actually be a good thing in this scenario. Since Discord is more loony than a Looney Tune, it would make perfect sense for Fluttershy to go a bit crazy too. She flew around and used whatever she could get her hooves on to create a staircase that led absolutely nowhere. As if stairs that go nowhere wasn't chaotic enough, it was made out of random objects so double chaos points. Spike jumped up excitedly as Fluttershy's every chaotic action continued to restore Discord back into existence. Soon, everything inside Discord's home became more and more chaotic with everything floating everywhere and ginseng tea that actually sings. And that was when Spike saw something truly magical. While he couldn't hear a word they were saying, he saw what would be the closest thing to a love confession between them. Spike looked down at the ground where a black book labeled 'Ship Note' was placed. He opened the book and, underneath 'Spike x Rarity' and 'Big Mac x Sugar Belle' was 'Discord x Fluttershy'. He stretched his lips into a smile that, in any other circumstance, would have been one of malicious intent. But, since all he wanted to do was to make his ships come into fruition, his goals were far from malicious.

"Just as planned," Spike said to himself.

After his and Discord's latest session of Ogres and Oubliettes, Spike made his way to a hatch to a hidden room all the way in the Everfree Forest. He opened the hatch and made his way down the stairs. While the stairway was dark, the room itself was illuminated with lamps in the shape of love hearts. Photographs of Discord and Fluttershy, as well as drawings of them in the style of those comic books Fluttershy liked, were pasted all over the creamed-coloured walls and there were little wooden tables with figurines of the duo placed on them. Spike grabbed a figurine of Discord riding Fluttershy as if she were his steed, jumped onto a small but fluffy pink bed, and caressed their heads. He giggled quietly to himself before noticing a familiar draconequus that was in no way a miniature replica made from Twilight's 3D printer. To say Spike had a lot of explaining to do would have been an understatement.

"What the-"

Author's Note

As you can see, I went with the Spike prompt. Certainly easier than the other ones and definitely had more comedic potential.

Also, if you're wondering why Twilight is so into shipping in this fic (which probably rubbed off on Spike), it's a reference to this:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TabletopGame/TwilightSparklesSecretShipficFolder

That said, it's not part of my headcanon. Though Fluttershy being an otaku certainly is.