Was It Enough?

by misskoifishpony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Fluttershy, Discord
Length: 3590

Maybe, just maybe, after all this time...I wasn't enough

Day Four of Fluttercord Week (Theme: Tragic/Sad/Angst)

It's one thing to agree to letting your loved one to remain mortal and not become immortal with you, it's another thing to watch them slowly grow old and acquire all the aches and pains that come with it.

Sorry for the lack of cover art:( If you’re interested in making a cover art for this story, let me know here on Fimfiction because I would love some cover art for this bad boy^^
Fluttercord Week:https://www.fimfiction.net/group/214010/fluttercord-week

Published 2020-01-22 08:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-22 08:10:01 UTC

Our Sanctuary

A light grey moth landed delicately upon the tip of Fluttershy’s wrinkled muzzle. This landing earned a warm but worn sounding chuckle from the old pegasus. Her little giggle made her muzzle shake under the moth’s tiny feet. The moth quickly flew away, but her clouded but still beautiful teal eyes did not follow the moth. She remained looking straight ahead.

The wind blew through her thin but pure white mane, now tied in a bun and decorated with all kinds of flowers. Fluttershy then asked aloud, “Discord?”

POOF!

When Discord arrived right by Fluttershy’s side, he didn’t take the time to properly scan the calm scene before him. He quickly assumed the worst and stuttered in a panicked state, “I’m here Fluttershy! Is everything alright?! Any new aches or pain?! Do you need more of Zecora’s potion?! Are you too hot?! Too cold?! If so, I can change the weather! It’s no trouble!”

“Dissy, Dissy,” Fluttershy softly called out to the stressed draconequus, trying to calm him by the sound of her soothing voice, “It’s okay. I’m fine. I swear, you need to stop worrying about me. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack with that kind of worry.”

Discord smirked at such a remark and couldn’t help but tease, “Pfft! Says the queen of worrying.”

“Good point,” agreed Fluttershy, shaking her head with a smile on her face.

“Now, what is it that you really need? More pillows? More tea?” Discord questioned with ease, allowing his voice and body and mind relax into the gentle atmosphere that surrounded his dear little pony.

“Oh no, nothing like that. Trust me, I’m good. But thank you for asking, you’re too sweet.”

Discord arched his mischievous, furry eyebrow with interest and a naughty smile formed; rapidly replacing the previous soft yet sentimental smile.

“Oh I see what’s really going on here, Miss Fluttershy,” the master of chaos remarked in a frisky tone, creeping as quietly as he can towards his precious pegasus, “You just wanted some more of your favorite, hunky draconequus, huh? Well shame on you, my dear cause… you never need to ask if you wanted some of that.”

Before Fluttershy could respond to Discord’s flirtation, Discord scooped up her into his warm arms, and showered her face and neck with thousands of kisses. Fluttershy giggled happily in response to each and every affectionate peck, her laughter growing more and more with each kiss. The pure sound of her laughter was music to Discord’s floppy ears, and her chuckling made them wiggle about with joy. He wanted more of this wonderful sound. Discord began to groan more with each kiss. Deepening each kiss, and making them more passionate than playful.

Their “little” make-out session echoed throughout the sanctuary, instantly capturing the attention of all the animals there. Especially, including all the thousands of descendants of the original demon of a bunny: Angel Bunny. All the bunnies and animals stared blankly at the loving couple. They rolled their eyes, and then continued to stuff their faces with food.

“Dissy, stop! Stop!” Fluttershy laughed out loud with glee, completely helpless to Discord’s display of love, “Think about the children! Don’t let them see!”

“Oh please,” Discord miraculously answered out in between his kisses, “Our children have seen far worse from us. Trust me.”

Fluttershy playfully yet lightly push Discord’s chest away with her front hooves, “I swear! You get more ridiculous with each passing day.”

“And you,” Discord stopped kissing her in order to get a better look at his beloved and stare deeply into her cloudy sea glass eyes, “You get more beautiful with each passing day.”

Then, Discord ended their make-out session with a tender kiss on the lips. Each of them savoring this kiss for all it’s worth.

As they slowly pulled away, and when Discord began to put Fluttershy back on the ground, she asked, “Oh, um, could you just hold me instead?”

“Was this your real request in the first place milady? Being held by yours truly?” Discord chuckled.

“Well actually, at first, something landed on my nose and I was wondering if you could tell me what it was. But, I forgot that you were in the middle of feeding the children and watering all the plants.”

His cheeky smile instantly fell.

“Oh, I’m sorry my dearest. I should have been here… to tell you.”

“Don’t be sorry sweetie, you’re already do so much for me as is.”

“Oh please,” Discord cleverly retorted, as he sat himself and his sweet pony underneath the shade of a great Oak tree in the sanctuary, “What I’m doing now is nothing compared to what you used to do for me and for everypony on a daily basis.”

“But, you have to take care of me AND the children.”

“Taking care of you is easy and taking care of our children is a joy. Now hush, and let me enjoy holding you.”

And with that remark, Discord nuzzled into the side of Fluttershy’s head and his beloved pegasus happily reciprocated. However, as she did so, she could hear a slight crack coming from her neck. And a quick but annoying pain soon arouse in her neck. She let out a rapid groan, hoping that Discord didn’t notice.

“Are you in pain?” questioned Discord, as he broke the nuzzling, “Not just right now, but like… all the time. Be honest.”

“No,” Fluttershy speedily answered, initiating the nuzzling faster than her own response.

“You can tell me,” Discord reminded her while letting his beloved nuzzle him, “I can handle it. I can fix it. Or at least, I’ll try to fix it.”

“I know you can,” Fluttershy lied, while feeling a bit of ache in her hips and knees as they shift about in Discord’s arms. As if wasn’t enough just to have her neck to go through the aches and pains.

“But, please Dissy, don’t ask me again. I’m fine.”

“Very well,” He begrudgingly accepted, “But, you knew that I had to ask.”
“I know.”

“Because if you were in pain… even if it’s just the tiniest bit of pain, then… you couldn’t be happy. Could you?”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but chuckle, “Of course I’m happy, you silly draconequus you. How could I not be happy with somepony like you in my life? You make every ache and pain non-existent just with your smile.”

Then, the sweet pony was able to steal a kiss on the cheek.

“You can’t see Flutters,” Discord replied in a pain tone, his throat started choking up just admitting it aloud. Trying to hold in everything that he was feeling.

“But, I can still hear,” Fluttershy pointed out assertively yet tenderly, “I can still do so many other things. Besides, I got to see the world once, and for me, that’s enough.”

“But what about seeing the children? And our children’s children?”

“I may not be able to see them in the way that I did before, but I get to see them in a new way. A new and fun way, remember?”

Then, Fluttershy moved her head away from the side of Discord’s face and began to nuzzle him on the nose. Just to make him remember what he told her when she first started losing her sight. He told her “Who needs to see the world like everypony else can, when you get to see it your own way? A new and chaotic way! Especially in a chaotic way. Now that’s the way!”

This precious eskimo kiss made Discord’s heart full. So full and heavy that it dropped to the bottom of his stomach. He was so thankful that she could nuzzle him like they used to, but he couldn’t help but remember the other things that still held her back.

“Your heart is getting weaker, my darling. Not to mention, you have arthritis in your hips and in your legs.”

“Yet despite this,” said Fluttershy, while still giving her dear draconequus an eskimo kiss, “I’m still doing well for some pony’s my age. Even Zecora said so. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“But Flutter Butter,” Discord replied with a plea.

He broke their eskimo kiss by grabbing her by the shoulders and engulfed her into the embrace of his long neck, “What if Zecora’s potions and herbs are not enough? What if Zecora’s care isn’t enough? What if Zecora passes away before you do? She is getting up there, you know. What if we can’t find the right doctor for you after that? What if there isn’t anything Princess Twilight can do for you? What if there isn’t anything any pony can do? What if …?”

Discord reluctantly pulled Fluttershy away from him and gazed down into her foggy, but still teal eyes. The sight of such eyes almost breaking his heart because they couldn’t fully look back into his eyes anymore. But, he knew that she was trying to find his eyes. Trying to find him.

He guided her gaze by carefully placing his lion paw under her chin and turning her head towards his direction.

“I can’t take care of you. What if, after all this time, I’m not enough.” Discord finished; the ending of his question sounding more like a definite yet defeated statement than a question.

“What do you mean that ‘you’re not enough’? Not enough for me? Don’t be silly Dissy. You’re more than-”

“No I’m not, Fluttershy,” Discord stated through slightly gritted teeth; showing more anger towards himself than towards his sweetheart. “If I really was enough, I could have fixed this a long time ago. I could have ignored our deal years ago. I could have just taken all of this away. The pain,... the aches,... losing your sight,... the slow lost of everything ... and who knows what will happen next? I could have made you immortal. I could have made you lived forever, or at least, for a couple of more centuries to come like Twilight. Just long enough to find somepony who can take care of the sanctuary after-! After… “

“But, Discord… I thought… I thought that you were taking care of the sanctuary after I-”

“It’s not like I don’t want to. Believe me, I do my dear. I love our children just as much as you do. But, what if I can’t? What if I forget one day to feed them? What if I can’t heal them if they get hurt? What if I can’t help the pregnant deer, rabbit, or any other pregnant animal to bring new life into the world? You had to show me how to do all that! None of this is natural to me! What if-?!”

Fluttershy stopped him by placing the tip of her aged hoof on his lips, “Discord, what’s really going?”

All the animals stopped eating, and looked at their adoptive parents with sorrow and concern in their eyes. They could instinctively feel that their mom and dad needed them, and so, they walked towards them.

Discord chuckled, “Once again my dear, you really know how to shut up this mish mash goat, huh?”

“I would be a bad mare friend if I didn’t.”

“True, very true,” Discord laughed softly.

Then, he let out a sigh before replying, “Fluttershy, I… I understand why you feel you have to be mortal. Believe me, I do.”

“But,...” She murmured with encouragement.

“But, I’m scared.”

Before Fluttershy and Discord knew it, all their furry children were lying by their side. The birds landed on Discord’s shoulders and horns. The bunnies huddled themselves next to Discord’s tail. The deer laid in front of their adopted parents. All the animals did what they could to be close to the two beings that have taken care of them for so long. But, Discord and Fluttershy didn’t pay any mind to this.

“I’m scared that,” Discord continued, “that I didn’t give you the true mortal life that you deserve. If you’re going to do the whole mortal deal, you should at least have all the good bells and whistles that come with it. That way, it makes all the pains and aches worth it. But,... after all this time,… after spending over seventy years with me,… in the end, you wasted most of your life… on me.”

“What do you mean by a ‘true mortal life’?”

“Well, first off, we never got married.”

“So.” Fluttershy stated while cocking her head to the side in confusion; trying how marriage fits into this ‘true mortal life’ concept.

“So?! Oh c’mon Fluttershy, don’t tell me that you never thought about it. Not just for us, but just ever?! I mean, isn’t it every filly’s dream? To walk down the aisle with daddy dearest and wear the white princess gown?”

Discord’s ear perked up in shock when Fluttershy began to giggle in her hoof.

“You mean,” Fluttershy managed to let out in between her giggling, “Like the one Pinkie Pie wore on her wedding day?”

Discord couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as he reminisced, “It was the most confetti filled, candy stuffed wedding dress I’ve ever seen on a pony and it couldn't have been more perfect. Every pony on that day admitted that when they saw her in that dress… they couldn’t help but smile. Even Rarity did! Despite her insistence on designing the gosh darn thing herself.”

Discord’s ears then flattened slowly, and he brought his face closer to Fluttershy, “I also remembered Pinkie telling you every day after that on how she would have planned our eventual wedding day. Don’t get me started on all those ‘subtle’ hints Rarity would dropped about how lovely you would have looked in her one of her wedding designs.”

“And you know what I told them every time they tried did so?”

“What?”

Fluttershy put her hoof on the top half of Discord’s eagle arm. This loving touch made the draconequus coil Fluttershy closer to him. With her ears and mane snuggled into his chest, Fluttershy was able to listen closely to Discord’s heart. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the comforting beats that pounded against his chest.

“I told them that romantic partners can be called by many names. There’s husband and wife. There’s marefriend and coltfriend. But then, there’s a couple called a ‘you and me’ couple. A ‘Fluttershy and Discord’ couple. A type of partnership where kindness falls in love chaos, and chaos falls in love with kindness. They could have existed apart if they wanted to, but they didn’t. They decided that they wanted to be together. No matter what.”

“I… I still don’t understand. Why did you-?”

“Dissy, there was a time in my life where, yes… I did want to get married. And that was when I was a filly. I did my fair share of playing pretend and having my little weddings for my dolls.”

Then, Fluttershy couldn’t help but snicker, “I would even dress up as bride and walk down an aisle made of toilet paper. I thought that my future husband would be a stallion. A pony like me. Can you believe it?”

Discord let out a ‘scoff’ as he remarked, “My my, how small minded you were.”

“Indeed,” She replied, her weary smile beaming from ear to ear.

“But, it would have been easier,” Discord’s sad tone soon returned.

“Actually, it would have been harder… because I wouldn’t have had you. Remember that one time, when we were first having our Tuesday Teas at your house? And you were trying to make yourself less chaotic just to make me feel comfortable?”

“Ugh, when I wore that ridiculous Mister Rogers get-up?” He winced in disgust when remembering such an image in his head, “Don’t remind me.”

“Daww, I thought that red sweater was so cute on you. Even though you were clearly uncomfortable in it.”

“It’s just like what Rarity use to say ‘Discomfort only means that the outfit is working, darling’.”

Fluttershy and Discord laughed together warmly at Discord’s joke, remembering fondly of all the little gemstone sayings of Missy Rarity. Remembering fondly everything about her. Remembering her brought up all the warm memories about the rest of the girls. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash. Twilight.

When their laughter began to settle, Fluttershy whispered while stroking the fur on Discord’s puffy chest, “The point is Discord… I grew up. Not that marriage is a silly filly thing or anything. There’s nothing wrong with getting married, but… as I grew up,... after growing up with the girls, Spike, and Starlight,... after meeting all our friends,... after meeting you,... after loving you,... I realized an important thing about myself. I finally saw that, no matter what I did,... no matter what I will do,... nothing will change the fact that marriage wasn’t for me. All that I wanted was love, and nothing more.”

“So,... I didn’t… force you?”

“Of course you didn’t sweetie. I wanted this. I wanted this kind of love, especially with you. If I was married, especially with an ordinary stallion no less, I wouldn’t have been happy.”

“But,... what about kids?”

“What about them? Oh! Do you want more?” Fluttershy replied cheekily with a wink, not quite towards his direction. Then, she gestured to the animals all around them. And when the animals were mentioned, they smiled at their adopted parents and let out all kinds of joyous animalistic noises.

Discord and Fluttershy couldn’t help but chuckle at the light yet beautiful sounds that their children created, but Discord’s chuckle and smile was short lived.

“I mean,” He tried to articulate, “foals. Didn’t you… ever wanted foals?”

“Hmm.” Fluttershy pondered aloud, scratching her chin in contemplation. Discord’s eyes lifted with interest and he brought his face closer to her. Trying to read her expression and figure out what was going on in her head. Once again, this made him worry. Was this her one true regret in life? Not having any foals?

Before Discord could apologize for not giving her such a precious gift, Fluttershy replied, “It’s strange.”

“Huh?”

“Whenever I would dream about having a child of my own, it wouldn’t be the face of an actual foal. But rather… I would the faces of baby animals. Baby bunnies, young fawn, puppies, kittens, and little chicks. These would be the first things that come to mind instead of a foal that holds any of my features. “

Then, she looked up, not quite meeting his eyes, and asked, “What about you? Have you ever wanted children?”

With a small smirk, feeling unsure why he was smirking, he answered, “It’s funny, I don’t think we’ve ever had this conversation until now. Why do you think that is?”

“Too busy being in love and living our lives I guess,” She remarked, while shrugging her shoulders, “But, don’t try to change my subject sweetie.”
“Sorry, bad habit. That one seems to have a hard time dying even after all these years. Anyway, in terms of foals of my own,...or rather baby draconequui of my own,... well,... I’ve never really thought much about it.”

A soft wind blew through the sanctuary, and the couple and their children took a moment to enjoy it. They even took in the wind’s scent, trying to decide what sort of fauna would create such an aroma.

Discord continued with, “I had no reason to really think about it because I was too busy creating things all the time. Who needed a family and kids when I could create my own spawn and allies with my magic alone? Plus, not to mention, I’ve never had a family of my own. As you well know.”

He turned his soft yellow and red eyes towards Fluttershy, and cupped the side of her face with his lion's paw, “I never understood what a family was until I fell in love with you and made friends with the girls, Spike, and Big Mac. I never knew what it was truly like to take care of others more helpless than you until I fell in love with you, helped our friends, and started taking care of…”

Then, he directed his gaze towards the animals and smiled, “Our children.”

“Well, there you go,” Fluttershy pointed with a soft but still cheeky and all knowing smile, “I guess we don’t need foals to have a family. We already have one.”

Discord grinned as he gave his sweet Fluttershy an eskimo kiss, “I guess you’re right, as usual.”

“As usual.”

Discord chuckled deeply in his throat before giving her a soft but long kiss on the lips. Fluttershy responded with the same soft passion.

As the draconequus interwoven his claws into her mane, he was able to pull her bun out and let her long silver flow. Letting it blow in the breeze like silver mist.

Author's Note

MissKoi doesn't own MLP, for MLP belong to it's respective owners and creators. Happy Day 4 of Fluttercord Week everybody^^! Despite being the supposed "sad/tragic" story out of my Fluttercord Week 2020 stories, I think my Day 2 poem is competitor for that title. They're both sad yet hopeful at the end, I can't tell which one is more bittersweetXD Tell me in the comments down below which one is more tragic yet with a hopeful ending and which one accomplished the bittersweet feeling better. Haha lol I can't believe I made two sad stories in a row basically, usually I'm all about the jokes and fluff around hereXD Lol!