An Assortment of Sexy Stories

♪ All you have to do is take a cup of flour,

   Add it to the mix! ♪

Pinkie Pie sang as she poured a large bag of flour into a mixing bowl.

♪ Now just take a little something sweet, not sour,

   A bit of... ♪

She paused in her singing as she reached for where the salt should have been.  Pinkie pondered where the salt had run off to for a brief moment before realizing that salt can’t run and that she had simply used the last of it during the days baking.

This hiccup in her cupcake-making plan didn’t trouble her for long.  Pinkie immediately came up with a plan to save her sweets from the terrible fate of not being tasty enough.  The plan was brilliant in how simple it was, she would ask for help.

“MR. CAKE, I NEED YOUR HELP!!!” Pinkie screamed, using all of her impressive lung capacity.

Within second the clopping of hooves on stairs could be heard as Mr. Cake rushed into the kitchen to see what was wrong.

“Are you okay?” he asked, worry in his eyes.

“Of course I am, silly.  Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Then why did you scream for help.”

“We’re out of salt.”

Mr. Cake gave a brief stare to the cheerfully oblivious mare before letting out an exasperated sigh.  He poked his head out of the door and yelled up to his wife.

“It’s okay honey, she’s just being Pinkie Pie again.”

He then turned back to Pinkie Pie to address the problem facing them.

“It’s not that big a deal, dear.  Just put it on the shopping list and we’ll pick it up before we open tomorrow.”

“But Mr. Cake, that’ll take too long because I need it now.  Twilight said there was going to be something called a meteor shower tonight and invited us all to come see it with her.  I didn’t even know meteors needed to keep clean, but I guess even they don’t want to be all dirty and stinky in case they meet a nice comet or something.  That would be really embarrassing.  And I’m supposed to bring cupcakes so we don’t all get hungry while we watch, but then we ran out of salt and I was like ‘Oh no, now I can’t make cupcakes for everypony to enjoy!’.  But then I thought ‘No, it’s okay.  I just need to get something salty to add to the batter and everything will be okay!’.  But then I wondered where I could get something salty this late at night when all the stores are closed.  But then I remembered that you were right upstairs so I called you down here to help me!”

Pinkie’s blew through the words with speed that would put Rainbow Dash to shame, the effect of this was not lost on Mr. Cake.  He just stared dumbly at the pink baker trying to comprehend just a few of the words that were overloading his mind.

“Umm...” He started before quickly deciding that having the mare repeat herself probably wasn’t the best idea and that he probably wouldn’t have understood her even if he could have kept up with her impressive speed, “What did you need me to do again?”

“Not too much, you just need to lay back.” Pinkie answered, accentuating her words by giving him a push backwards that seemed way too strong to come from such a small pony.

As soon as Mr. Cake fell back, a confused look still grafted onto his face, Pinkie jumped on top of him and began to move her front hooves over his sheath.

“P-Pinkie!  W-what are you doing!”  cried the stallion, a look of pure terror on his face.

“I already told you silly.  I need something salty for my cupcakes.” she replied without pausing from her work.

As comprehension of the strange mare’s intentions dawned on the older baker he was left just as confused as before.  Pinkie had always been strange, but this... he didn’t even know how anypony’s mind could have come up with this.

The first thing the stallion noticed as he came out of his shocked state was that the pink mare seemed to have made progress towards her goal.  His member had become fully erect in the absence of his mind telling it how wrong this whole situation was.

He continued to lay there as Pinkie Pie used both of her forehooves to caress his stallion-hood.  She may have been insane, but the pink pony sure did know how to please.  He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he savored the attentions of his employee.

The savoring didn’t last long, worry taking it’s place as his mind fought to remind his body of the precarious position he was in.  His wife was just upstairs and he was cheating on her, something he had no desire to do.

He was just about to speak up and inform Pinkie that this was far too dangerous for them to continue when she spoke first.

“Hmm, this is taking too long.  Can’t you hurry up?”

The confusion came back as Mr. Cake’s train of thought was completely interrupted by the mare’s seemingly out-of-nowhere question.

She responded without even waiting for a reply, “It’s okay if you can’t, I’ll just hurry things along myself!”

With that she opened her mouth as wide as it would go and engulfed his cock in her mouth.  She somehow swallowed the entire thing without even pausing.

All of Mr. Cake’s objections were abruptly put to rest as he looked in awe at the feat of sexual greatness just performed on him.  As she began to bob her head up and down the entire length of his shaft he made a conscious decision to enjoy this as much as possible, consequences be damned.

Screw faithfulness, I deserve this.  Not like she hasn’t done the same thing, great-great-grandfather was a unicorn my flank!

“You’re doing a great job down there Pinkie.  Just keep going and I’ll give you a pinch of salt.” he moaned, as he lowered his hooves to the back of her head.

“Oh goodie!  We really need to hurry so I’m not late.” Pinkie somehow replied, her voice crisp and clear despite not having left it’s duties.

Mr. Cake choose to ignore this physical impossibility as an idea crossed his brain.

“Well if you’re really in such a hurry there is a way to... speed things up a bit...” his voice containing as much raunchiness as he could muster.

This time Pinkie’s head popped off of his member to reply, “Really?  How?”

He briefly contemplated how the mare whose first thought for ‘something salty’ was his semen had failed to understand his not-so-subtle hint.  The thought was quickly dismissed as he had much more pressing matters to attend to.

“Just turn around and lift your tail” he finally replied, trying to put things as simply as possible in an attempt to avoid the detours from their, now mutual, goal that seemed to occur every time Pinkie started to talk.

In a miraculous turn of events, the ever-present obliviousness that accompanied Pinkie left for a second as she grasped what Mr. Cake was suggesting.

“Okie dokie lokie” she cheerfully replied while doing exactly what he asked and sticking her sizable flank towards his face.

The stallion took a brief second to enjoy the anticipation of what was about to happen, staring at the small spot of slightly darker pink in the center of the fully exposed bubble butt.  He then jumped forward, putting a foreleg on either side of her barrel and shoving his meat into her slit.

He let out a small moan as he was enveloped by her tight lips, his dick being driven all the way in on the first thrust.  He closed his eyes and rested there for a moment, losing himself to the wonderful pressure.

Pinkie’s response to the penetration of her most sacred area was a simple, “Wheeee!”

Mr. Cake’s mind was burning as much as his balls were, the knowledge that his wife could come down any second and catch him in the act of cheating filled him with adrenaline.  That combined with all of the other hormones coursing through his body made him far more excited than anything he could have previously imagined.

The yellow Earth Pony drove his rod into the eager mare as hard as he could.  He couldn’t quite tell if she was enjoying the sex herself or just happy that he was getting off on it, but right now he found it really difficult to care about that.  His new purpose was to submit to Pinkie’s initial request and give her his cum.

As he continued to pump his package into her love box he began to feel a hot swelling deep in his groin.  He knew he wouldn’t last much longer against this tight young mare’s remarkable skills.

“Pinkie, I’m about to cum” he declared, desperate to release for her.

Upon hearing this Pinkie zipped forward, freeing Mr. Cake’s throbbing cock.  She used her lightning speed to grab the mixing bowl with one hoof while sliding the other hoof up and down one side of his member in time with her lips on the other.

Mr. Cake let out a gasp as he released his load for the unconventional baker who managed to catch every last drop in her mixing bowl.

As the stallion slumped onto the floor, the pink mare continued her baking activities as if nothing out of the ordinary had just occurred.

♪ Bakin’ these treats is such a cinch,

   Add a teaspoon of vanilla ...♪

She was going to make sure her friends got the most delicious cupcakes ever.