Author's Note

The main character is based off of me IRL. In order to maintain secrecy some things may or may not be changed from real life. This story was just a spur of the moment idea that I didn't want to lose. It might end prematurely, though I hope I can keep it alive instead of having it die off.

Prologue(edited)

Depression is a hard thing to deal with. No I’m not saying that because of the sadness or the lack of self worth or the self-harm and suicidal thoughts. I’m saying that because if someone gets past the self-harm and suicidal thoughts without getting rid of their depression, they eventually spiral down into a constant state of apathy. Eventually they start subconsciously changing their eating habits by either eating more or less every single day. As this is happening they’ll start sleeping more and more; refusing to get out of bed until they don't have any other choice. They’ll also stop caring about how they look entirely and think that it wouldn't matter if they died or not.

These are the people that go through depression for years but refuse to commit suicide. These people all have their reasons for not doing it, but mine was the fact that I saw it as the easy way out. It wasn't until someone rear-ended my school bus that I gained a greater appreciation for life, though at that point in time I had already succumbed to apathy. Why am I telling you all this? Well, I guess it’s to better explain myself before I tell you the story of how I ended up in one of the happiest places in the Multiverse and how everything the inhabitants knew was changed by my views on everything.

354 Altin Fridge Loop Davenport, Florida: January 22nd, 2020

I sat in my room working on my online class so I could graduate this year. I sighed before switching over to a google docs tab and working on one of my fanfictions so I would have plenty to give to my readers when I came back from break. I hated going on break after having taken at least a month to publish a new chapter for both of my stories. I felt like I was cheating them out of more chapters just because I wanted to have more free time, so I asked them to comment if they wanted another story and gave them four options. I thought that wasn't good enough so I started making a stockpile of chapters that I could publish after my break as a sort of apology.

It was definitely difficult since I wanted to get as much correct as I possibly could, but I had stopped watching My Little Pony Friendship is Magic at one point because I didn't have a phone or a computer to watch it on and my father monopolized the T.V. This meant that I had to constantly do research on it which got increasingly difficult as pages on certain characters had links to pages on other things which in turn had links to other characters. I could've said fuck it and just ignored the preexisting story, which I did occasionally, but I wanted to give readers something that they could truly enjoy and feel that effort was put into it just by reading it.

As I sat there typing I yawned before looking at the time and noticing that it was only five in the afternoon. I shrugged and saved what I had before logging out of my computer and taking a small nap so I could wake up with an hour or two for me to sit there and think after I woke up. I hadn’t known what was going to happen when I woke up, though saying that I was unprepared would be wrong.

“....think….princess….waking up.” I heard as I groaned before opening my eyes and sitting up to see something that I never thought I would actually see. I was in a hospital. Though the shocking thing was what was in front of me. Standing just past the foot of the bed that I barely fit in were six ponies that I knew as the Main Six. Internally my mind was screaming in excitement since I was in a situation I had always dreamed of being in. Externally I just looked around the room with a neutral look on my face.

'This is rather interesting. I guess miracles can happen if you're lucky enough. That or some divine being finally realized that they owed me big time for all of the shit they put me through.' Were my thoughts as I looked around before I finally focused on the ponies in the room.

“Huh. So the multiverse is real. Cool. Would you six mind telling me why I’m in this hospital? If you do then that’s fine. I’m just curious about how I got to Equestria and if I’m here then I was either hurt upon my arrival or you just brought me here because you didn’t know what to do with the strange six foot two, one hundred and forty-four pound creature that most likely appeared out of nowhere. Though I guess there is the possibility of a spell gone wrong, but that would be too cliche.” I said leaving all but two of them with shocked expressions on their faces. The two that weren’t shocked were Twilight and Pinkie Pie, both of which had excited looks on their faces. Pinkie, unsurprisingly, just let out a huge gasp before running off while Twilight pulled a quill and a notepad out of nowhere.

“I have so many questions! What are you? Do you have a name? What do you eat? Why do you where such strange clothing? How old are you? Why do you only have hair on your head and face?” Twilight asked without taking a breath while the others just gave me a look of pity, causing me to smirk as I stroked the small, messy, dark brown beard that connected to what little of a moustache I had that was on my face. My hair was no better than my beard. It was the same dark brown and was messy as well as short. In all honesty I looked a bit like a bum, with the exception of having clothes that were in mostly good condition.

“I will answer your questions in the order that you asked them. I am a human. My name is Joseph Miles Swafford. My species are omnivorous, though we can survive without meat so long as we eat certain plants that contain the same nutrients as meat. I’m wearing my grey, black striped, long sleeve shirt and Star Wars pajama pants because I had gone to sleep and to cover my body, more specifically my genitals. I’m seventeen almost eighteen. The hair on the top of my head is just there, I don’t know the scientific reason behind it. Also my body is actually covered in millions of hairs, though a few are easier to see than others.” I answered while still smirking as I saw the others with shocked expressions on their faces before they thought about my answers. As I waited on them I saw Rainbow Dash’s expression change as she realized something.

“Earlier you said that you weigh one hundred and forty-four pounds despite being six foot two. Doesn’t that mean that you’re underweight?” Rainbow asked causing the others to look surprised while I just smirked. Rainbow saw the looks on the others faces before she explained herself.

“I’m an athlete. I need to know that kind of thing so I can stay healthy.” Rainbow said while shrugging. I chuckled before giving her an answer.

“You're right on the dot there Skittles. I’m underweight since I don't workout much, don't go outside and barely eat even if I remember to eat. If you wanted to you could feel my ribs just by softly touching my upper torso. Thankfully I’m still rather flexible thanks to my dance class and rather fast thanks to me practicing parkour and Capoeira, but if I don’t gain some weight my body will most likely start cannibalizing itself in order to keep me alive until I die due to me no longer having the strength to move because my muscles have been eaten away by my body.” I explained while still smiling as if I hadn't just talked about my own death. The others looked shocked to say the least.

“Now hold on one gosh darn minute! If you know all this then why aren't ya eatin’ more?” Applejack asked causing me to chuckle before opening my mouth to answer, only for Twilight to answer for me.

“Muscle actually weighs more than fat which is what would be generated by him eating more. What he needs to do is work out or perform physical activities in order to gain muscle faster which would in turn mean that he would have to eat more to have the energy to sustain it, though I am curious about this parkour and Capoeira that Joseph mentioned.” Twilight said while holding her quill and notepad, waiting for an answer.

“Well parkour is also called free running because it involves running freely through cities by running on rails, walls and even roof tops. It's very dangerous and can end with you getting seriously hurt or killed if you aren't careful, but I know what I’m doing so that's never been much of a problem. Capoeira is also called Brazilian jujitsu and breakdance fighting, since it is commonly used while music is playing in order to keep your rhythm. It specializes in making sure you’re always moving in unpredictable ways and are capable of either attacking without getting hit or dodging or blocking and then quickly countering before you're enemy can react. I always found it as one of the finer fighting styles since it relies more on stamina and speed than it does pure strength, though being strong definitely helps.” I explained in as much detail as I could remember since my memory wasn't the best because of my ADHD and Aspergers, which is a mild form of autism. I just smiled while the others had mixed expressions on their faces. Rainbow was looking at me as if I was one of the coolest people in the multiverse while Applejack looked slightly impressed. Fluttershy seemed to be afraid of me for knowing how to fight as well as afraid for me because of how dangerous parkour is. Rarity was mostly focusing on my looks instead of what I had said while Twilight seemed shocked that I would knowingly endanger my own life to the point that she had stopped writing.

“If this parkour thing is so dangerous, why do you do it?” Twilight asked causing me to smirk and let out another chuckle.

“It’s quite simple. I enjoy the feeling of adrenaline and don't see any reason to not live life like I could die at any second. Not to mention the fact that I don't see much value in my life.” I said while still smirking as everybody, or I guess everypony in this case, gasped upon hearing that I didn't value my own life.