The Mane Six Play Poker

by Salty Alty

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Narcotics, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Profanity
Length: 1257

What happens when Applejack suggests they play Appeloosan Hold'Em for their monthly game night? Prosecco based lies, awful bluffs, and hilarity ensues.

What happens when Applejack suggests they play Appeloosan Hold'Em for their monthly game night?

Prosecco based lies, awful bluffs, and hilarity ensues.

Art by DaniLi69 on DeviantArt!

Published 2020-01-25 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-25 01:30:01 UTC

Hoof 1, AKA: Applejack Can't Bluff

The six of them sat around the table, nursing their glasses of alcohol, or in Pinkie's case, chugging a one liter can of Red Bison. They stared at Spike with a furious intensity as he shuffled the deck, their eyes glued to each individual card as the small dragon skillfully flicked them their hoof.

"How the hay are you so good at this, Spike? Last time I played Poker, my dealer wasn't nearly this smooth!" Rainbow asked, giving the vest-clad drake a small grin as she looked at her cards, nearly knocking over her Jagerbomb in the process."And you know how to hook a mare up!"

Everypony looked at Rainbow with a small amount of worry on their faces, while Spike merely rolled his eyes. "All those gems in my hoard had to have come from somewhere, RD. Anyway, the game is Appeloosan Hold'Em, stacks are twenty-five hundred each. Do I need to explain the rules, or do you all generally know what you're doing?" He gave a pointed look to Twilight as he spoke, eyeing the small "Poker 4 Dummies" booklet she was reading.

Rarity coughed into her hoof, giving the drake a bashful smile, her bottle of Prosecco sat neatly off to the side next to her glass. "I do admit to being unfamiliar with the game, deary. Give me a quick reminder?"

Spike took a deep breath, shooting a small gout of green flame at Twilight's book, causing the alicorn to yelp and scrunch her nose at him. "Alright. So, here's the basics. The pony in play to my left, in this case, RD, is the 'small blind'. She has to bet a minimum amount, which will be fifty chips for now. The next mare over, which is you, is known as the 'big blind', and you have to bet double the amount of the small blind. And then the next mare over- Applejack pay attention -is 'under the gun', meaning they are the first to act. You can fold, which means you back out of the hoof and give me your cards, but you also no longer have to put any chips into the pot. You can also check and pass your action to the next player, bet, call and match somepony's bet, or raise their bet by at least double the amount. You girls following along so far?"

There was a murmur of agreement around the table. "You need to make the best possible combination of five cards to win. No combo means you have 'high card', a pair beats that, two pair beats a pair, three of a kind beats two pair, etc. If you need to look at all the rankings real quick, ask Twilight for her book. With that out of the way... let the game begin!"

The six of them immediately looked at their cards. Applejack's lips nearly imperceptibly twitched downwards, though Twilight caught it out of the corner of her eye. Rainbow was grinning like a shark, eyeing Fluttershy, who was fiddling with her stack of chips, causing small clacks to sound out, like chirping crickets.

Rainbow and Rarity tossed their blinds in, watching Applejack intently. "Now why th' hay are you two givin' me bedroom eyes?" She asked, chewing on a toothpick as she defensively wrapped her hooves around her cider, leaving the two mares to sputter indignantly. She looked at Spike out of the corner of her eye. "Ah bet one-fifty."

Twilight smirked, quickly checking her cards. "Interesting. I'll raise you. You didn't seem too terribly confident when you first saw your hoof, so I'd wager you don't have anything too good." She confidently flicked three one-hundred bit chips into the pot, leaning back in her chair, taking a quick swig out of her glass of whisky.

Pinkie shrugged, tossing her cards to Spike. "Phooey. I had nothing."

Rainbow leaned into the table, smiling at Fluttershy. "Don't be too pressured to play garbage, Flutters. It's perfectly okay t-" "I raise seven-fifty."

The entire table whipped their heads around to look at Fluttershy. Rarity blinked a couple of times, not quite comprehending what she was hearing. "D-Darling, that's rather brazen of you!"

Fluttershy hummed, thinking to herself. "You're right, Rarity. I raise 1000 instead." She scooped up a small hooffull of chips and lobbed them into the center of the table, resting her cheek against her hoof as she gave Rainbow a quizzical raise of her eyebrow.

Spike smiled a bit, drawing three cards from the top of the deck and laying them out into the center of the table. A six and a seven of spades, and a two of diamonds.

Rainbow was pale in the face, giving a final look to her cards before sliding them over to Spike. "Nah, buck that, I fold. I am not gonna go out this early!" her cards fluttered in the air, revealing two Kings as Spike snatched them out of the air.

Rarity folded as well, taking a sip from her glass. "I think I will do the same, darling." Spike eyed them as they gently came to rest in front of him, setting them with Rainbow and Pinkie's cards

Applejack chewed the inside of her cheek, her gaze flitting between Twilight and Fluttershy. "Ah think ah will call yer bluff, Flutters. Three 'undred."

Twilight looked down sadly at the table, and Rainbow snickered at her. "C'mon, Princess, where'd all that confidence go?!"

Twilight looked up at her, a grimace on her face. "Fluttershy took it." Her cards teleported over to the pile.

Fluttershy, with as stone-cold an expression as a pony could get, tossed six orange chips into the center. "I call."

Rainbow leaned in to Rarity, whispering into her ear. "I bet you twenty bits that AJ goes out first."

Rarity smirked behind her glass. "I'll put fourty on Pinkie Pie."

Spike smacked another card into the center of the table, Applejack's eyes lighting up as she saw a Queen of clubs come down.

"Ahright, Sugarcube. Ah check." She said, lightly thumping her hoof on the table.

"I'll check as well."

Spike shrugged, revealing the final card. A seven of clubs.

Applejack glanced down at her stack of chips, which was substantially larger than Fluttershy's. She grabbed five black chips, staring Fluttershy down as she tossed them into the center. "Five 'undred. Ah'd get out while ya still can, Sugarcube. Ah've got sevens. You?"

Nearly the second that Applejack finished her sentence, Fluttershy tossed another five black chips into the pot. "No you don't, Applejack. Want to know how I know?"

Applejack gulped. "How?"

"Well, one, because you would have been much more aggressive early on... and Two? Because I have sevens." She said, flipping her cards over to reveal a seven of hearts, and a seven of diamonds. She smirked triumphantly at Applejack, watching her flip her cards to reveal...

A two and a three.

Rainbow laughed, smacking the table. "Hah! You just got played like a fiddle, AJ!"

Applejack grumbled various obscenities under her breath, watching Fluttershy scoop all of the chips up like a hungry hippo.

Spike chuckled, cracking open a can of soda. "Calm down girls, this is only the first hoof."

One thing was for certain, however.

Everypony was now slightly scared of Fluttershy, who stared at her friends like she was a statue.

Author's Note

Rainbow - 2450 chips

Rarity - 2400 chips

Applejack - 1550 chips

Twilight - 2200 chips

Pinkie Pie - 2500 chips

Fluttershy - 3900 chips