Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Devil in Disguise, Part 1

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"I asked Harp Melody a bit about her family history since the concept of royalty was known to me. Other than herself, they were all unicorns who had taken shelter in Stable 50. This included Princess Majesty, her family, and other powerful and/or famous ponies who were on the islands. After a generation of waiting, along with training a new Royal Guard, they left the stable to re-established order. The Island, known as The Gathering Island, had devolved into warring bandit stations. It was filled with mutating ponies, so Stable 50 started a campaign of re-conquest of the island." ~ Azure Dice

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“Madam Harp Melody, it is nearly time to leave.” Order, my drone, informed me from outside. I had it keep watch outside in case somepony decided to peek on Cloudy and I. I also used him as an alarm before work.

Moving a little, but I found being next to my new mare friend too comfortable to just get up yet, so I just opened my eyes to look around. To describe the train cart as cozy seemed odd to me, but Cloudy had managed to make this place feel like a home. It had trinkets hung like ornaments and an old painting on her wall. There was also a small table that had an intact cooler under it along with a little camping stove in the corner. Next to us was her clothing chest, which was locked with a large padlock so to deter others from stealing her clothes and outfits. As for her bed, it was a simple mattress with a few towels over it to keep the springs from poking through and a thin sheet to cover us.

To say I missed the big fluffy bed back home would be an understatement, but right now there was no other place I rather be.

Cloudy nuzzled under my chin as she asked, “Was that your robot just now?”

“Yes. It’s nearly time to go,” I told her.

She groaned as she got up, “I wish I didn’t need caps so much.”

With a huff, I sat up as well. “You could always just leave to find someplace where work is easy.”

Cloudy chuckled as she unlocked her clothing chest. “Ya. There is no easy out in the wasteland. It’s why my dad settled here, it may be more expensive than the rest of the wasteland, but it is safer. I’d like to move to the NCR, but every pony that comes down here from there tells me that there’s no good work anymore. What work is to be found pays very little.”

She pulled out a white mesh dress with frilled clouds sewed onto the edges. She also pulled out a lacy red dress with hearts along the edges. “So, what do you think? Innocent, or saucy?”

I took an extra moment to picture it in my mind. Though the white a with clouds did give a more pure feeling, the fact it was mesh also felt more seductive in how it would cling to Cloudy. On the other hoof, the lace red dress with hearts was clearly more seductive but I also didn’t like the idea of her actively trying to seduce other ponies besides myself. At least, with the white dress, I can pretend she was not just a stripper.

“Maybe stick to white. It looks good on you, and is less on the nose,” I advised her.

Cloudy nodded and put the red dress away. “Ya, the red is a bit tacky. Rusty keeps telling me to use it, but then Rusty has never been one for good taste.”

She looked over at me with a mischievous grin then threw my panties at me. “Are you going to wear this?”

It was the pair of panties that was mostly strings. I had decided to wear it on my way here to show Cloudy. It was embarrassing, but worth it to see the look on her face.

I nervously chuckled as I took the panties off my face. “Ya, no… Anyways, didn’t you say that this was only for you and me?”

“I’m just messing. Last thing I want is some weird stallion stealing it.” She pulled out some stockings. They were a white lacy pair of panties and a small white hat with a valve.

Finally getting up, I checked the basket she had given me before making sure my work outfit was all there. Above it, on a shelf, was one of the cooling talismans I had made. I placed in some jury-rigged junk case that allowed magic to easily flow through it. It just needed a spark battery to work, but right now it was using my ambient magical energy I was letting out. Though not strong, over time it had cooled down Cloudy’s home, thus making it far more bearable in the heat.

Closing the basket, I looked about for my normal clothes. They had gotten spread around not long after I arrived here. As I gathered them up, I felt Cloudy lean on me. Her chest was on my back and her legs were gently wrapped around me.

“You do know you don’t need to get dressed. Just pack them up and trot over to the Ruffled Feathers. You’re going to be taking them back off anyways.” she advised, whispering in my ear.

I stood there for a few seconds, thinking about it, but still didn’t like the idea of going out in the nude. “I don’t think I’m ready for-”

Cloudy cut me off with a kiss, of which I reciprocated. When we pulled away, she slapped me on my flank, causing me to gasp.

Backing up a little, she held my normal pair of panties in one of her wings. “Seriously, you’re going to have to get over this whole clothing thing sooner or later. I mean, we ponies normally don’t wear clothes.”

I used my pipbucks levitation spell to take back my underwear. “I am very much aware how you all out here are nudists.”

“If we're all nudists, then that makes you the odd one here,” she pointed out.

Sighing, I put my underwear into my saddlebag. “Fine, but I’m at least putting on my jacket.” It had my revolver in it, so at least I’ll be safer as we trotted to work.

Stuffing the rest of my clothes into my saddlebags and picking up the basket, the two of us left the train cart house.

A wave of heat hit us. Although the sun was already dipping below the horizon, it was still considerably hot out here, making me want to go back inside where the cooling talisman was.

“Order, provide us with some light,” I commanded.

One of the eyes of my drone lit up, driving back some of the creeping shadows. I was going to need to fix the other eye at some point, and maybe get a few of its other talismans back to working condition. Currently, its invisibility and silence talismans aren't working, so everypony can easily see and hear it buzzing around.

“He is really useful. I wish I had my own robot servant,” Cloudy said wistfully before flying up to it and giving one of its antennae a playful tap. “Maybe you should give this thing a gun. I’ve heard about a few arcano tech-minded ponies that trot around with robots, letting them do all the fighting for them. This is true for even a settlement that managed to repair a few protector-ponies to guard them.”

I thought about it for a moment. I remembered that I did have the two spare bolt launchers. It would make a good use for them, and the ammunition would be somewhat easy to make with the right tools.

“Maybe. If I ever go out on another adventure, having Order being able to fight would be helpful,” I said in agreement.

The cartoon twittermight avatar that Order used, floated into my vision. It then let out a cartoon bolt of electricity. ‘Madam, this drone does have a built-in high capacity spark talisman for self defense. If this drone is fully powered, it can unleash a shock powerful enough to stun a full-grown stallion.’

I nodded at it and waved for Cloudy to join us. “I’ll ask Hardballer about it later, but I'd rather get going. I don’t like being so… exposed out here.”

Cloudy gave me a nuzzle, as we made our way to the Ruffled Feathers with Order lighting our path along the way.

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Reaching the tavern, nothing much had changed since the last time I was here. Although the crowds had yet to gather, the ponies standing around at the front were still sober.

We got a few whistles as we passed the ponies as we entered the front. Star Charter was there to check the customers for weapons. The tavern didn’t have a problem with ponies being armed and all, but drunk ponies had been causing problems, so they were forced to leave their weapons at the front during late hours when they were going to be the rowdiest.

Star wiggled her eyebrows at me. “A little underdressed, aren't you tonight? Did ya not bother to get dressed after undressing?”

Cloudy brushed up against me. “Star... don’t be a bitch,” she said.

Star laughed loudly. “I’m not going to try and take her, Cloudy. She’s too cute to be my type.”

“Anyways, are you bringing in any weapons?” Star asked.

Placing a switchblade on the table, Cloudy gave Star a big grin.

I did the same for my revolver.

Star looked over at me and sighed. “Sorry, I’m just teasing. Like fuck were leaving our girls here defenseless.” She pushed the revolver back to me. “But, if you can't hide it on you, you can’t take it out.”

She then looked over at Cloudy, who then hid the switchblade inside her wing. She actually had a little clip to hold the little knife under her feathers.

“Here, after tonight, we can go look for a knife in the market. Your wings may be small, but I’m sure we can hide something nasty in them.” Cloudy advised me.

I shrugged.

We made our way to the back.

The usual ponies were back here; a dishwasher, working mares on their break, and Waterspout, who was working in his small office.

The older hippogriff spotted us then waved us over.

“Cloudy, can you go on stage next? It’s almost time for a night rush.” He asked my marefriend.

She nodded. “So give them all a little taste as others come in, then do a late-night dance,” she reasoned.

He smiled. “And that’s why you're my favorite mare! Though, depending on the demand, just be ready to dance earlier than that.

“As for you, Harp, I’m going to advise that you avoid drinking anything but water. Though you were fantastic the other night, that also put you in a lot of danger,” Waterspout told me before looking up and pointing at Order.

“And what’s that?” he asked.

“It’s my recon drone, Order” I answered. “Order, say hi to Mister Waterspout.”

“Hello, Sir Waterspout,” Order said as it bobbed on a bow like manor.

He gave an inquisitive look at the drone. “So it has a mister helper program? Those things had the least amount of program decay of all the robots I’ve seen.

“Say, Harp, can it do anything useful, as in serve drinks and the like?” Waterspout checked.

Order chirped proudly before talking. “This drone has a built-in minor levitation talisman, so serving drinks would not be a problem.”

I gave the robot a glare to shut up, as it had talked out of turn, and it shrunk back a little.

“As it said, it can pick up small objects, and as you can see, it can fly. But, other than that, not much until I get it fully repaired.” I explained.

Waterspout nodded in approval. “Alright. If you take that thing out with you, it would help give you an edge at impressing customers. Just remember to be careful. The last thing we need to happen is a mid-air collision with any flying customers.”

“Does that happen often?” I asked.

Cloudy chuckled. “Whenever the Gunrunners come down here to drink, they often just fly over the crowd instead of pushing through it. After a few drinks, they will eventually knock into each other.”

That reminded me of some of the silly stories my caretaker would tell me about how pegasi in the metro would commonly knock into each other when flying. The tight corridors of the underground were not meant for flying ponies to be living there. She even had her own story of it happening to her inside the stable. I used it as a lesson of why I should not run around corners.

“I’ll try and keep an eye out for any flying creatures,” I assured them.

Waterspout turned back to his desk. His attention refocused on some paperwork. “Also, Harp, if things slow down later tonight, can you come back here and help sort out the accounting?”

“It’s never-ending, isn’t it?” I figured.

“No, it’s just that we got a lot more caps flowing right now. That’s all,” he corrected me.

“Alright. If things slow down, I’ll help update your books,” I agreed.

Trotting to the dressing room, Cloudy and I got ourselves ready.

The dancer outfit clung to me just as tightly as before. Although I was glad to have more clothes on, it was still embarrassing to throw these clothes on. At least I was not wearing the skimpy underwear. No way I’d do out with that!

Cloudy had gotten dressed far faster than I had. She finished her makeup right as I was applying mine. It was still amazing how such crude makeup even worked, but it did, and she applied it very smoothly.

As I got to applying the lipstick, Cloudy trotted over and gave me a strong kiss on the cheek. She had left a red kiss lipstick mark behind.

“That’s to mark you as mine and you look a lot cuter like this too!” she told me in an admiring tone.

I wasn’t sure about this, but I did have to agree it looked a little cute.

Looking at my marefriend, I gave her a deadpan reply, “You want me to do that to you as well?”

She grinned as she lifted up her dress a little. She also lifted back one of her back legs to show her inner thigh. “Maybe?”

I had to struggle to not show how hot that sounded to me. I wanted to keep my calm. “How about after tonight? Anyways, won't it smear if you're on the pole?”

Cloudy blinked a few times, then her eyes opened up wide. “Right! Then maybe the other side?” She turned around to wiggle her flank at me.

I sighed, feeling that this was getting a bit much.

“Alright, I’ll stop. I do have to get ready to put on a show,” Cloudy said, relenting her assault on me.

Finishing up getting myself all pretty, I left Cloudy to do a few finishing touches on her own outfit. She needed to look extra special when going out on stage.

One last thing I needed to do before I started work was to figure out where to put my revolver. Unfortunately, my outfit was made to hide very little, so the enforcer would stick out no matter where I put it. The corset would work if it wasn't already threatening to suffocate me. My little hat could hide it well, but I didn’t like the idea of the gun rattling around next to my head.

I had one idea, “Order, can you hold this revolver and still perform all your duties?” I asked my drone.

The cartoon twittermight appeared in my vision. “Most certainly, Madam. I can use one of the clamps to hold it. Easy as pie,” it spoke telepathically.

Wrapping the revolver in a small cloth, I passed it to the drone. It wiggled one of its little legs and clamped down onto the revolver. I gave it a little tug, but the gun didn’t budge.

“That will do,” I told my drone. In response, it gave a happy-sounding beep.

It was not that I felt I’ll need the gun, but the more I learned about the wasteland and it’s dangers, the more I felt like it be stupid to be anywere without some protection. At least now, if something were to happen, Order could at least drop me my gun.

Feeling ready, I trotted out of the dressing room.

Looking out the door to the travern’s main floor, a sudden wave of uncertainty washed over me. I backed up. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I knew I had chosen to do this myself, but without somepony next to me, it felt like an even bigger step.

“Seriously, have you seen that new mare?” My ears perked up as I heard a mare speak from outside.

“You mean the zony, right?” a second mare answered.

I was sure they were talking about me, so I figured what stupid gossip was being talked about behind my back.

“Ugg, ya. She's been all some of our regulars talk about,” a third mare added.

“Oh, that’s only because she's exotic. It’s why Cloudy is so popular. Not too many pegasuses in town. I also heard that the boss has been looking for a zebra, too.” the second mare continued.

“I know! I think it’s also because they're younger and smaller than the rest of us. Fucking perverted stallions!” the third mare said with disdain.

A groan came from the first mare. “It’s always like that. They get all excited over the new mares like a pack of radroaches after some fresh shit.”

“You got that right,” the third mare agreed.

“But like fuck we can’t do anything about it. You saw what Star did to that other mare who slipped her the Luna Shine.” I could feel the mare cringe through her words.

The first mare laughed. “Ya, that poor stupid mare did do that. She broke the rules, so she got what’s coming to her. So don't worry, I’ve been working this job for years now. There is no way I’ll risk this job now when the caps are this good, though I did let a few of my clients know about her working tonight.”

“You don’t mean him, right?” The third said, sounding nervous.

“Maybe. No guarantee head shows up anything soon. Anyways, like it will matter with how Zonies are. I’m just letting her have a little fun before she, you know.'' The first mare had a devious tone to her voice which reminded me of my eldest sister when she was scheming.

I didn’t like the tone, and now needed to know more.

“Know what?” The second mare asked.

“Sorry, but I’ve never actually met another zony,” the third mare added.

The first mare sighed. “I’m talking about how they all eventually commit suicide. I knew a few, and even the one who was doing well for himself went and hung himself. Something about not fitting in with ponies or zebras, but they require the littlest provocation to get them to off themselves.”

“That’s a bit messed up,” the second mare pointed out.

“Hey, if she wants to put herself out of everypony's misery, I’m not going to stop her.” The first mare said without a hint of shame.

I was annoyed. Not because of what they said or how callous they were about it, but because it reminded me too much of home and how everypony whispered just loud enough that I could hear them. If I didn’t hide away in my chambers, it would be nonstop with my cousins and other nobles. They all wanted me to know what they thought of me, but never straight to my face.

Whoever this bitch was, she knew I was here, and I could hear her. Unfortunately for her, she was wrong about me. Oh, so wrong. Where she was raised to be some whore, I was raised to be far greater than that.

“Do you wish me to zap those distasteful mares?” Order telepathically asked me.

“No, leave them be. It’s not like they will amount to anything worthy of my ire.” I thought back at my drone.

The tavern’s main floor was only starting to fill up, both local and outsider ponies finding their seats. This time there didn’t seem to be any well off looking ponies among the customers, so I decided to find a pony not currently busy.

Turning up my charm for an older stallion, the pony looked happy to just get some attention and was impressed when Order flew around to drop off a glass of whiskey for him. The conversation started off with a few pleasantries, but I was able to get him to talk about himself which also got him to drink more. Lucky, he wasn’t an ass like the last stallion I had to chat up.

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“So you don’t hunt the radhogs?” I asked as I poured him some more whiskey.

“No no. We raise the hogs then sell them to the NCR for butchering. It would be too much trouble to rely on hunting them,” the older stallion told me before he took another sip of his drink.

“I can see that. Back home, the radhogs are a real problem. I had a friend that got stuck in a radhog stampede. She said it was like thunder all around her,” I explained.

He took another long sip of his whiskey. When he was done, I topped off his glass. “Oh, that sounds like a huge sounder of big hogs. Your friend is lucky to be alive to tell you about it. Fighting a big radhog is like fighting a disarmed steel ranger still in power armor. You'd need plenty of high caliber armor-piercing bullets to be able to take it down before it gets to you.”

The conversation went on a bit longer. I learned more about a radhog ranch than I’d actually care for. Eventually the stallion polished off the whole bottle of whiskey then stumbled off to the bathroom which freed me to find another customer.

Star waved me over. Order was next to her with a beer in its telekinetic hold. As I trotted to her, Order flew up and over to some random table which surprised both the customer and the working mare there.

“So, you getting a hang of things?” Star asked.

“Not to be mean, but can’t I just move on after I get them to buy a bottle of spirits?” I asked with a huff.

Star chuckled, “If only it was that easy. If we did that, it would be just a normal strip club with a brothel. Most ponies come here to just get chatted up, and it’s why they keep coming back.”

“Here let me show you.” She said with a smile.

As I followed Star, Cloudy finally came onto the stage. She got great fanfare as she slowly trotted to the pole. Like before, she looked like she was in a wedding gown. It had enough glitter to sparkle more than it should.

The table Star took me to had three Desperados sitting at it. There were two earth pony stallions and a rather rough-looking pegasus mare. Star just sat down on one of the stallion's lap, putting a hoof around his shoulder.

“Shouldn't a big stallion like you be enjoying yourself more?” She asked the large stallion.

He actually looked nervous for a moment, then annoyed as the other two Deparodos began laughing.

“Every time, they come right to you, Greased Gears,” the other stallion said in between laughter.

“Sorry, missy, but he drives on the other side of the motorwagen,” the mare informed Star.

Star just shrugged, rolled over, and took the Desperado mare’s hooves into her own. “Then what about you? What side do you drive on?”

“Wh… what, I certainly-” the mare stammered, but Star put a hoof on her lips to quiet her.

“Why don’t we get you something to drink first, eh miss?” Star asked.

Star took her hoof off the now blushing mare’s lips. “Crack. The names Thunder Crack.”

“Alright then, Miss Thunder, let's see. You already had a beer, so how about one round of the local mute-fruit cyder?”

The mare nodded. The other two stallions did likewise.

I sat next to the second stallion and gave him a wink. This one was much thinner than the other stallion but also had a lot more scars on him, giving off a less than safe vibe.

“The name is Slashed Rubber,” he said in a gruff tone, “Aren't you two the mares Crankshaft told us about? The ones with the Gunrunners?”

“Yes, we are, but who is Crankshaft?” I answered then questioned.

“He’s the stallion sent with Burning Asphalt to talk to ya about your vehicle,” he answered,

Right! So that’s what that muscle headed stallions name was.

“I’m Harp Melody, and she’s Star Charter. Thanks again for your clan's help back then.”

Order flew over, dropping three bottles of cider.

Slashed Rubber opened up the bottle with his teeth and took a long pull of the drink, then gave it an odd look. “This is a bit too sweet!?”

“It’s cider. I heard that, before the war, ponies lined up for miles to get a drink of stuff like this,” Star explained as she personally held the bottle, pouring a little of the drink into Thunder Crack’s mouth like she was feeding a baby. The poor mare looked confused, yet compliant for such a rough-looking pony.

Grease Gears just sat there, sipping on his cider while watching one of the working stallions.

Looking over at the pegasus mare, I couldn't help but ask, “So your clan don't have a problem with pegasi?”

Slamming a now empty battle down, Slashed Rubber gave a long and disturbing burp. “Why the fuck would we… Oh! You mean that hole Enclave bullshit like ten, no ... eleven years ago? Naw. They put up a damn good fight, so we good. I just wish they sent their real power at us and not some underpowered company. They should’a made us really work for it.”

Thunder Crack pushed herself out of Stars hold and punched Slashed Rubber on the shoulder. “You fucking cocky fuck! You’d all be dead if we had used our main force, or even one thunderhead!”

Slashed Rubber laughed. “Yeah. Ya say that, but none of ya flying bastards expected we have AA gun batteries all stored away.”

The pegasus mare crossed her hooves and slouched back onto Star’s lap, letting her get babied again.

Order once again flew over, placing down a second bottle of cider, of which I now opened for Slashed and poured into a glass cup.

“So, I guess you won? then what happened to the pegasus?” I asked.

He snorted in amusement. “Shot their leaders. Well, most of them. They had this right bastard who was too willing to fight to just get rid of. The rest of the soldiers, since they gave us such a good fight, we put them through our right of initiation. If they survived, they got to be one of us. The rest died. We also have a few Enclaved vassal settlements as well. They're not good for much, but they pay tribute on time so we leave them be.”

“Don’t know why everypony has such a stick up their ass over the Enclave,” Greased Gears spoke up then finished off his cider. “It is not like they were the first group that tried to take over the wasteland. They’re not going to be the last, either. It’s not like a pegasus is any worse than everypony in this fucking wastland.”

Slashes snickered. “Don’t mind him. His main fuck didn’t want to come down here with the rest of us. The dainty softy was too afraid of ponies down here wanting to hang him for having wings.”

“Fuck you!” Grease Gears growled back a Slash.

Two more bottles of cider were dropped off by Order. Thunder quickly reached out to grab it, but Star got to it first. She popped it open and forced the pegasus to be submissive again.

“Actually, the NCR has been pushing hard to get everypony to tone down their hate for the pegasi,” Star spoke up. “Something about being stronger together and other shit. Lately, it has been having an effect on ponies coming out of the NCR and they're more likely to be nicer to the pegasus, if only in public.”

She pointed to the stage where Cloudy had half her outfit off. Now she was just in underwear and stockings on all four legs. “If it keeps going like that, even the mayor will have to change his policy. Cloudy there might even be able to get a job in uptown.”

I rolled my eyes. “That slimy Espresso? I guess he is good at changing his point of view to whatever is popular. But like Tartarus does that make him any good at being a mayor.”

“Oh trust me, I know,” Star agreed.

“Personally, I could do his job a hundred times better than him. Like, why raise the fucking tax right now with so many ponies coming in? You want to lower the tax! It would make the town more attractive for ponies to migrate and get the residence to spend more. This is the basics of running an economy,” I ranted.

The three Desperados and Star looked at me, a bit confused.

“I mean, it would make sure the ponies living here can make more caps. With those extra caps, they can buy more stuff, which is good for everypony.” I dumbed down my rant.

The four gave out a collective “Ohhh” and then laughed.

After that, we changed our topics. We letting the three ganggers talk about the things they liked as they guzzled down their booze. It ended up that stuff like motterwagons and fighting were popular topics, and at one point Star Charter and Slashed Rubber had a hoof wrestling contest.

It was actually nice being sober to see it happen.

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-Reputation-

-Desperados-

Several have gotten to know Harp and Star better. Their opinion of them has increased. It also helps that the ganggers find the two good looking mares who know how to have a good time.