Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Distortion, Part 1

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"The pony, Slowtrot, was what I best could explain as a normal pony under unusual circumstances. All three of them were like that in some way to tell the truth. But for the stallion, he, at times, broke what most people could think as conventional reality.

It must have stemmed from his time within a time/space rift. Where Harp and I had only spent a brief moment passing through, he told us that he had wandered inside it. How long, he can’t recall, but he did say that, while there, he got severely drunk. An understandable reaction.

What I can speculate is that Slowtrot is ever so slightly desinked with the reality of his world. A distortion, one could say. Because of this, every now and then the unexpected happens, whether he wants it to or not." ~ Azure Dice

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I hit the cold hard floor. I found out that it was made of metal, not the hard dirt I was just on before. A sense of familiar dread washed over me as I got up. My eyes slowly adjusted to this dark place I found myself. Had it happened again. There was no doubt. It had to have.

“Alright, Slowtrot, where did I end up this time?” I spoke to myself, unsure when and where I had popped into.

The first time I was back at the Sleepy Hooves Diner right before the bombs dropped.

The second I found myself in the trenches of the war.

Now… it was too dark to tell, so I turned on my pipbuck lamp.

What I could see looked a bit like a stable, though far more metal than concrete. Finding a wall, I trotted alongside it until I found what I guessed to be a light switch and flipped it. Buzzing with power, the lights slowly turned on and illuminated everything in the room I was in.

Pony sculptures of chrome and brass were built into the walls and pillars. They were made with hard geometric lines that looked as strong as it was elegant. Many objects such as chairs, lamps, and tables were in here and looked more like works of art with their hard angles and wide curving swooshes. Everything here was made with form and function in mind. It reminded me of the noir films the Ministry of Image loved to push out except this was all in full color and all too real.

I must have appeared inside a very wealthy ponies storage room.

The sound of a click alerted me to a door opening, so I quickly limped over to hide.

“Oy, who left the lights on? The boss fucking hates it when one of you lugs do that,” a gruff sounding pony spoke up.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I’ve been working at the display all day.” a mare grumbled.

The stallion then huffed. “Fuck it. Just throw those masks and uniforms wherever and grab two chairs. Fucking can’t belive a guest just started throwing fire just to show

off. Assholes.”

From my hiding spot, I watched as the two ponies dropped several odd looking masks on a nearby table along with some cloth. They then went and grabbed several nearby chairs. Both oddly had two horns on their head. The horns were both bone white in color and slightly curved.

Seeing them sent a shiver of dread down my spine.

As they left, they, turned off the lights on their way out. I trotted over to the table with the masks. It was a hunch, but I had the feeling that I might need to be in disguise while I was here. It was a stupid idea, but I needed to take a look around, if only briefly.

What was on the table looked like a bunch of ruined junk. All of them were broken and burnt in some way as though they were used in a battlefield. Still, anything was better than nothing.

Discarding my NCRCF shirt, I put on a fancy long white coat that was poked with burnt marks. I also put on an ornate white rabbit mask with gold trim that had part of its side broken off. It just felt weird putting this on, but it was better than nothing.

Lastly, I grabbed some long decorative cloth to wrap around my pipbuck and hopped nopony asked about it… or well… asked about anything about me.

Trotting to the door, I took a long deep breath to steel myself for what I might soon see. Opening the door and stepping through, I found myself in a hallway with a long glass window that had a view of the ocean’s floor. Strange fish swam past the glass, and off in the near distance were skyscrapers that resembled the Manehattan skyline, but underwater. I could also see advertisements glowing in the water as though they were simple neon lights for a city that never sleeps.

I was sure of it now, though I could be mistaken. I mean how many underwater cities could actually exist? Right now it was safe to assume I was in Despoines, where Thorn was.

I didn’t know how long I was going to be here before I returned, so it couldn't hurt looking around and learning more. Also it might be a good idea to look for something to take back with me. Something useful I hope.

There were a few doors along this hallway. It didn’t hurt to take a look. One was filled with more random stuff, mainly decorations, so nothing useful. Another had just sheets, towels, and other cloth items that I had no use for. Checking yet another door, it didn’t result in anything I could use. It was just cleaning supplies… on the other hoof, there was a saddlebag and some soap.

At the very least, if everything was going alright for Harp and Star, they would love to be able to clean themselves. So I took the bag and a few bars of soap.

Leaving the hallway, it clearly did not have anything useful. The sound of music became more and more audible in the distance along with the voices of a lot of ponies. It sounded like a party was going on. It was probably something I wanted to avoid. There was also the familiar clatter of ponies at work and the smell of cooking food. All of this told me that there was a kitchen close by.

My stomach growled with hunger.

It couldn’t hurt, could it… no, no it could not.

Trotting to the kitchen, I saw ponies at work with roaring fires and flying ingredients. It was the sight of a five star Canterlot gormy staff with how they worked. It was almost intimidating with how fast the knives moved. The staff themselves were mostly normal looking ponies except a few had two horns on their heads, though one had a mane that looked oddly like kelp rather than a normal mane should.

My eyes then fell onto the prize, a plate filled with mini sandwiches. What was in them I didn’t care. I just needed to grab it and vanish for a minute. Carefully I totted over, doing my best to look like I belonged there.

A knife flew out, almost hitting my face. “Oy, what are you doing back here? Get to work!” a chef in a tall white hat called out to me.

Panicked, I squealed out “Hungry...”

The chef narrowed his eyes on me. “You… Oh. You must be that idiot who took that electobolt to the face. Take the plate. The fucking shit is not worth being sent out. Stupid sue chef put the ingredients in the wrong order. Take those fucking wine bottles, too. Some moron sent us the wrong brand. We needed tart, not sweet!”

Nodding, I took the food and box of drinks then trotted backwards slowly.

Retreating to one of the storage rooms, I shoved several of the mini sandwiches down my throat and washed it down with the wine. It was all so delicious that I began to tear up. Before I knew it, the food was gone and I polished off the wine bottle. There were still five wine bottles left, so I shoved them into my bag. I felt that I might as well bring them back with me.

I started to feel like myself again. The hunger subsided and a warmness drifted up to my face. It was good, and I wanted to share it with my friends, meaning that I should go out there again.

Trotting out, I had forgotten which direction the kitchen was, so I followed my nose. I stumbled right into the place I really should not have, the party.

The chrome and bronze art decor was all over the place and spectacular. The place truly felt like it came out of a movie, even the ponies themselves. They were all masked, donning on fancy outfits of every color, and all having fun.

Though this was a party, it seems that whoever was running it was also showing off some contraptions to the partygoers. Booths and stages were lining up along the walls with ponies providing entertainment from them. Every now and then an explosion or a bolt of electricity would bust out and the crowds would cheer in excitement.

It had been a long time since I was in a place like this where ponies had let themselves forget the horrors of the world outside.

“Raffle!” a mare shouted next to me, causing me to jump a little. Through her cat mask, she eyed me. “You? Why don’t you give the raffle a free shot? You could win a big prize!”

“Ahh… why not.” I said. This all felt a bit too familiar.

“Alright. Just take a card,” she told me as she hoofed over a box filled with cards.

Taking a card, it was “A-8” The card featured a poker table with a smoking gun on it.

“Now if your card is called, just trot right on over to the main stage and collect your prize. Also, you can keep that card, it's exclusive to this showcase!” the cat masked mare told me before trotting off.

Shrugging, I put it in one of the coat pockets and trotted off to look at one of the booths.

A large earth pony stallion was proudly holding up a glass of apple filled with red fluid. Ambrosia, I think it was called, from Victoria’s memory. This container had a flaming heart printed on it and behind the stallion was a poster depicting a pony holding a flame in their hooves. “Now gaze upon the wonders of the new and improved Incinerate! Don’t feel like sticking your hoof in the stove. You have to touch that candle to light it. Rather stay where you are and light things up from across the room. Then this is for you! With a flick of your fenlock. you have the magic of fire at your hooves!”

A line of fire then began running up one of the stallion's legs as though his veins were on fire itself. Then, just like he said, he flicked his fenlock over at a small mock up fireplace. A small ball of fire shot out of his hoof and into the fireplace, thus lighting it. If there was a trick, I was not seeing it. That earth pony just performed magic through his own body. No horn involved.

The other ponies watching cheered. Some pulled out green paper slips and demanded to buy them. Studying the booth some more, the company that had made this product was called Redrum Alchemic Magic. It’s symbol looked like a Ram with its two large horns. The name sent another cold shiver down my spine.

Moving onto another booth, it was more of the same. Ponies showing off Ambrosia that promised to give ponies magical powers. Lighting, frost, the wind, even one at made arcano tech see the pony as friendly. It was all just as amazing as it was frightening to tell the truth. But among all that I saw, one booth got my attention.

Trotting over to a food stall, above it was the name of Redrum Eatery. The stall was not seeing as much attention as the others. It just showed off some new food they were selling. No magic as far as I could see. They were food packets in several flavors, though most of them were just different takes on seaweed and fish.

“A bit out of place here, don’t you think?” I asked the pony at the food booth.

“No sir. We are not.” The mare spoke with a cheery tune. She had a mask that resembled an octopus and had an oddly kelp like mane. “Where do you think Miss Redrum got her start? She worked with us at the fishery where she was able to build up her fortun and start the eatery. Through her business deals with the most successful restaurant in Desponies, she made friends at the top such as the biggest fish in this ochen top. So, when we discovered the slug, it was easy for her to start Redrum Alchemic Magic. Now we are here, still selling to both the top and the bottom of the food chain here in Despoines.”

The mare then leaned in and whispered to me. “If things keep going the way they are, I have no doubt Miss Redrum will be running this city soon. I know all the other Kelpies have her back, and the bicorns have long thrown their hats in for her. She just needs to get those self righteous Equestrians to see her vision.”

I had no clue what she was talking about, but the longer I looked at the mare, the less she looked like a normal pony. In truth, her mane looked like real kelp, and her pupils were slits like some predator.

Giving her a nod, I felt it was best to agree and not rock the boat. “Ya. Right to the top.”

She sat back, seemingly pleased with herself, though the mask made it hard to tell. “Well, while you're here, why don’t you take a few free samples? It’s not high class food like the kitchen is cooking, but trust me when I say that it’s really good.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Survival food mostly. We’ve been testing out new ways to preserve food for longer without the heavy abuse of preservatives that those Equestrians love to use. Here we have what we call the time stopped survival packets, or timeless meals as the boss wants to call them. They don’t age or rot as long as the seal is closed, so you can store it somewhere safe until there's a disaster,” she explained.

Food was food, and the others were going to need it. “Can I take one of each? And how is it actually preserved?”

She nodded as she shoved several packs to me. “Take as many as you want. Just remember to share them around. As for how, it’s simple… Well not that simple. We're using a time spell in our packaging. It keeps the food in a time loop until it is open. Think of it like freshly cooked fish whenever you want. All you have to do is open and eat. Here you go. Go ahead and open this one.”

Passing one packet to me, I nervously opened it. The smell of an actual burger hit my nose. It was no hay burger, but it still made my mouth water. Biting into it, the burger was hot and fresh as though it had just been cooked.

“Our signature fish and seaweed burgers, now fresh whenever you want it. Forget all that having magic at your hoof tips crap. This is what's going to be the big thing to shake Desponies,” the mare boasted.

I could not argue as I finished the burger and shoved more packets into my bag. To think time magic could be used for such a simple thing. It made me wonder why the ministries never did this, I know that the Ministry of Arcane Science would have known how to do it.

Giving the mare a wave as I trotted off, the music that blared over the speakers dimmed down a little and the voice of a very cheerful mare spoke up. “Ladies and gentlecolts, it’s time for the raffle! A lucky few will be winning some absolutely wonderful prizes.”

Trotting over to where I could see the main stage, it almost looked like they were preparing to put on a magic show.

“Now let's demonstrate the prizes that we will be giving out today, and the pony who will be the demonstrator is none other than the mare of the hour, Miss Thorn Redrum!” The speaker announced.

My blood ran cold as she trotted out. A somewhat older but a very much healthy Thorn Roasland. A long blond mane, blue coat, cold eyes. What I didn’t expect was her sporting a mechanical left foreleg which ended in a golden cloven hoof.

“Good to see everypony is having a fun time,” Thorn spoke. Her voice was calm but it still had this sense of power to it as though she knew she was untouchable. This would be my third time seeing her in the flesh, and she still stood far above me. Far out of my reach. “As I’m sure all of you have seen with your eyes, yes ... we have made great leaps in our development of ambrosia. Where before it would simply heal injuries, change fur color, and give ponies small but useful magical abilities, now it does so much more.”

She then smiled, eyeing the masked crowd. “Now you're all savvy business ponies. You all must be thinking, ‘How will we turn a profit with this. Even if it does give ponies magical abilities, it is not like all the arcano tech we already have can’t do it, and better. It’s only a curiosity. A passing trend. A momenter boost in the market that will die down at noon be forgotten.’ But that’s where you will all be found wrong, my friends.”

The curtain behind Thorn pulled back, and the same vending machine I saw in Victoria's memories was revealed. This one was far cleaner and more decorated and also lacked the two animatronic fillies that sang and danced. What it did have was artwork of a filly in a blue dress sitting on a mushroom as a white rabbit in a suit ran off holding a pocket watch.

Along the side of the vending machine were several large posters of ponies at work. One poster had a pony setting a pipe covered in ice on fire. Another had a pony freezing a bunch of fish and a flaming generator.

“What I want you all to think about is the utility use of this product. How can it make any job more efficient? In what case would a pony use it in their everyday life? What would ponies abandon in favor of this and why?” Thorn asked the crowd which caused many ponies to start talking among themselves.

As Thorn let the crowd chatter, two familiar looking twin ponies trotted out onto the stage. These were the ones from Victoria’s memorie. They were pushing a cart with five glass apples filled with the ambrosia and even more glass vials filled with a blue glowing fluid.

“Another thing, and I know you must have been asking, how are my employees able to use such magic when before they could only show such minimal results?” Again she asked the crowd as one of the twins lifted up the blue vial. “With this, Peitho! It interacts with our newly improved Ambrosia serum and fills the pony with the power needed to perform magic like they are an arcano scholar. The effects are not infinite, so a pony may need to keep a few vials on hoof if they are ever in need of this power.”

She then stepped to her side, thus giving ponies a better view of the Ambrosia Orchards vending machine behind her. “And here is where ponies will get their supplies of Peitho along with any Ambrosia serum they need for work or leisure. Convenience in a charming package.”

If there was any sceptiptsim in the crowd, it seemed to vanish. Words like “brilliant” and “magnificent” were spoken around me. They all were dancing in Thorn’s hoof.

Then, out of the blue, the other twin teleported to a small table in front of them. On it was a box.

“Now it’s time to show off our newest products and for a lucky few to win the honor of being the first to use them,” Thorn announced as one of the twins drew a card from the box. Passing it to Thorn, she read aloud, “First is E-7!”

An excited mare raised a card and trotted over to the stage. She was stopped by the two twins who held out a bottle of ambrosia.

Above the vending machine, another poster rolled out. It showed a pony turning into a cloud of smoke.

“Here we have our misty step ambrosia,” Thorn declared as the red bottle was hoofed over to the winner. “Ever want to disappear? To just go ‘poof’, and then be somewhere else? Want no more when you can do it now? With this, you will be able to become mist and move about unhindered. Feel endangered? Have an obstacle blocking your way or you just don’t want to talk to some pony? Then become mist. A novelty to be sure, until you're somewhere you don't want to be. Just think about it.”

“Go ahead Miss. Try it out,” she told the raffle winner.

The mare seemed hesitant at first, but then the crowd began cheering her on.

Pulling off the top of the bottle revealed a long needle that extended out from the bottle. She then jabbed into her leg. The red liquid quickly flowed into her. When it was all gone, one of the twins then jabbed the vial of blue liquid into her other leg. This caused her to wrench for a moment.

Cracks formed along her body and clothes, then she literally exploded into a cloud of red mist. Everypony gasped as they waited to see if she would reappear. After a few seconds the mist began to gather in a different spot and the mare reformed with nothing missing.

The mare then squealed in excitement as she did a little dance.

“Wonderful, wasn't it?” Thorn asked the mare who got a very excited head nod from her. “Then take two more. Share it with friends or family. Then tell everypony.”

This display got the crowd even more interested. Many of them held closely onto their own cards.

From the stage, a second card was drawn, and a stallion trotted up. This time it was something that made the pony physically stronger. His muscles expanded which caused his suit to rip in a few places. Thorn proposed it as a shortcut to a healthy body for the pony too busy to work out every day. It was clearly popular among a lot of the thinner or out of shape looking stallions.

Then the third card was pulled and another stallion trotted onto the stage. What everypony then saw as the stallion becoming a mare, but with paws instead of hooves. After a bit of a panic and the administering of another dose of Peitho, the pony was able to become a stallion again, though with one fantastic mane and tail. It made everypony laugh, but some seemed rather excited about getting their hooves on it.

“A -8!” Thorn called out, and for the third time my blood ran cold. The twins looked in my direction. Their eyes bore down on me. I wanted to just back away, to pretend like I was never here, but as their horns glowed, I felt myself being dragged forward.

With a sigh, I then trotted to the stage under my own power. Thorn eyed me curiously for a brief moment before continuing her sales pitch.

“Now we have another special treat for those who have ever suffered a terrible injury, loss of a limb, or a chronic disease.” As she spoke, another poster rolled down, showing a pony in a terrible state next to the same pony but completely healthy. “We have finally perfected the heath recovery serum! Yes, Lazarus is coming to you as promised, so no longer fear the cuts and bruises of daily life, for with this, you will not even fear death. Not even the ravages of time will ever claim you with this.”

Her cold sharp eyes cut into me as she said. “Go on. Use it. You will be the healthiest you’ve ever been when you do.”

Looking out into the crowd, all I saw was a sea of white masks of different shapes and sizes, all with gleeful eyes hungry to see what would happen.

I could try and run, but where? How? I knew who Thorn was and I knew she could break me with little effort, so I gave in. Pulling the cap off, the long needle popped out. So, like the three ponies before me, I jammed the needle into my leg. There was a sharp pain and the feeling of fire in my veins that traveled through my body. Soon after another jab was felt in my other leg, and this time a cold sensation rushed through me.

As the Peitho flowed through me and met the Ambrosia, a sense of euphoria washed over me. A numbness followed along with a feeling of joy, though only temporary. It all happened within a few short seconds, leaving me feeling a bit depressed, but also no longer in pain. No pain at all. Not in my legs or joints… even the pain from my lashings was gone.

“I feel great!” I excitedly said as I looked over at Thorn, only to see her holding a gun to my face.

*Bang!*

Everything went red, then white, then back. I had been shot in the head, I know it, yet it all hurt. It shouldn't hurt to be dead. But I should have known this was going to happen. Thorn was a monster, and she must have known it was me.

“Now watch as even death itself is conquered!” Thorns voice was then followed by gaspes.

The pain in my head subsided, and what was black became wight, then red, then my eyes opened. On the ground in front of me was a warped led bullet in a pool of blood. Getting back up, I felt the spot where she had shot me. I felt the blood around my eye socket, but nothing was missing.

“I’m… alive?” I gasped, looking up at Thon who had a smug look on her face.

“As you see, not only is this stallion alive, he is better than he was before. Imagine now, perfect health for a fair price. What more could you ever want? What could not be any more perfect than that!”

The twins then flanked me and led me to the back stage.

As we entered the next room, Thorn continued on. “What if getting hurt never happened in the first place? What if you can turn back time before misfortune had then fallen onto you?”

Several ponies passed us, hulling a large chamber that had an electrical charge flowing through it.

The twins then chuckled. “Oh the Vita-Chamber. Such a magnificent piece of technology.” the brother said.

“And a magnificently bad idea, physiologically speaking.” the sister added

The brother then looked at me, “Same for the Lazarus serum, don’t you think?”

“Yes, he does. He did just get shot in the head, or do you have another opinion on it, Slowtrot?” the sister asked.

“Does she know?” I asked back.

The twins chuckled again.

“No, she doesn't,” the sister answered.

“You were never even worth remembering in the first place,” the brother added.

They were right. I was just some nobody caught up in events bigger than myself. Only a blip on Thorn’s raidar. At least that meant she would not do anything about me. I’m no threat to her.

“So about this… Lazarus. Isn’t it just some new healing potion?” I asked, stopping to look at myself in the reflection of a window. Blood had splattered across the broken part of the mask from where my eye was shot. I was perfectly fine, but the signs of me getting shot were there. It was still imprinted on the mask.

“To some extent it is, as it does heal.” the sister said coyly

“To true, just like how hydra heals, and can regrow limbs.” the brother again added.

“But then why?” The sister asked.

“Yes, then why?” the brother also asked.

It then clicked, and I asked. “Why does she have a mechanical hoof if she can just regrow a limb?”

The Brother then said, “Oh, why indeed. But explaining too much will ruin the fun of finding it out yourself. Now that will be a long time from now, for you not as long, but still a long time.”

“An age and a half, you can say. Not too long I can say,” the sister added.

“Yes, you can,” the brother said to his sister.

“Can what?” she asked.

“Say what you said,” he answered.

She then smiled. “Too true.”

I then ground as I trotted ahead of them and blockedtheir path. “Alright, this is giving me a headache. A figurative headache, I mean. Seriously, I feel better than I’ve haved for a long time.”

“How can he be both in pain and not in pain at the same time? Oh! I love thought experiments,” the sister gleefully spoke.

“I would rather just use a real cat myself,” the brother added.

“ENOUGH! Just who in tartarus are you two?” I growled at them.

The faces of both twins dropped any sense of joy and became entirely neutral, as though a mask had fallen off and they were just robots pretending to be ponies.

The brother then spoke. “I am Robert Lutece.”

“And I am Rosalind Lutece,” the sister told me.

Then they spoke in unison. “I am the foremost researcher in quantum physics.”

“Though maybe it should be called quantum magic here,” Robert suggested.

“This is well beyond magic or physics at this point. Maybe it should be called… a Lutece,” Rosalind pondered.

She then shook her head. “No. It doesn't roll off the tongue very well.”

Robert also shook his head. “We can’t go naming everything after ourselves afterall.”

I was about done with this. They, and everything here, was not making any sense. “Damnit! I wish I could talk with somepony who could actually explain any of this and not the nonsense you two are making.”

The Lutece twins then sighed before Robert spoke. “It is beyond his understanding, and below our ability to explain.”

“Maybe the outsider can explain?” Rosalind then asked her brother.

Both smiled at each other, and then looked at me as they passed both the Ambrosia and Peitho to me.

“Well our time has grown short, so take these and do try to not feel hard about having to choose who gets it,” Robert told me.

“He’s going anyway, so why tell him not to?” Rosalind flatly told her brother.

“Oh, there’s no harm in saying that it’s going to happen if it’s not going to change that it will happen,” Robert countered.

Rosalind then sighed. “True. It matters not.”

Shoving the items into what room was left in my bag, I knew that they were talking about me soon returning back to the NCRCF. So I had one last question. “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Am I special or something?”

They smiled at me and again spoke in unison. “Not you’re nothing special, but what's stuck to you is. This world hates having time distorted and will always seek to close such distortions. If you want the distortion to end, return here and close what you opened so long ago. You have already done it before, and will do it again.”

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Unique Item Obtained

2x Ambrosia Orchards Lazarus Serum - A healing item that has the ability to bring even the recently deceased back to life. Side effects may include; Bleeding from eyes, nose, and mouth, Blindness, Crystal formations on the skin, Cutis laxa, Death, Mane loss, fur patches, Hallucinations, Heterochromia iridum, Hormone imbalance, Insanity, Insomnia, Jaundice, Lesions, Memory loss, Paranoia, Rashes, Shingles, Spider veins, Swollen gums, Syndactyly, Tooth loss, Tumors, Varicose veins, Vitiligo.

“I don’t care if it’s unfinished and riddled with side effects. I’ve already dumped my entire fortune into this project. Anyways the public does not need to know. They are too stupid to care. Think of it as a mass experiment. Find the ponies who take to the ambrosia with little to no side effects, then cut them open to find out why. As for the rest of the ponies, well I didn’t save you from the baelfire scorched world for you to start having a conscience now.” ~ Thorn Roseland