Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Final Intermission.

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My attempt to follow the tracks of a bulldozer called Daisy Chain left me more than a little lost, and even more than confused. It didn’t help that I didn't know what a bulldozer was other than it being a big metal vehicle on treads or why it’s name was Daisy Chain. It also didn’t help that I now had more stuff to carry, though they were just clothing.

Thankfully I met a friendly big dog thing called Bonzo who was more than happy to help lighten my load so long as I didn’t whistle around him. I think he was what Jali called a hellhound, but Bonzo turned out to be nothing what she described other than being big and strong.

“So mister Bonzo, where do you plan to go after I find the ponies I’m looking for?” I asked the big friendly dog.

“Bonzo not sure. Ponies stopped throwing explosives near old home. Might return. Call pack back. What do you plan to do, crab Azure?” he then asked me.

“Simple. I plan to find a way back to the in between place then wait for my friend to pick me up and take me home.” I explained.

Bonzo grunted. “Home is good. Why did you leave home?”

I gave a gargled sigh, then explained, “Work, mostly. I get paid to go to strange places and find odd things. Where I’m from, there's a lot of strange places and odd things. Sadly, it means sometimes people want me to go to some dangerous places and now I’m here.”

He nodded. “Bonzo understands. Sometimes the pack needs food and Bonzo must hunt. Go far away to hunt. To paces dangerous for Bonzo.”

“What’s best for hunting?” I asked.

“Big things like yao guai, or radigators. But sometimes ponies. They taste good but are dangerous to hunt. Other ponies will hunt dogs if dogs hunt ponies.” Bonzo explained.

He then looked down at me, raising a brow. “What does crab pony Azure eat?”

With my face claws, I gave him a smile. “Oh lots of things. Fresh bone dipped in honey is always a good treat. I knew a few who had a limestone they used as seasoning. Generally fish and coral are a stable for my kind. But personally, pizza is my favorite, the kind with extra meat and ranch dressing.”

Remembering the food from back home made me salivate a bit, and my stomach grumbles…

Wait... that grumbling was not coming from me.

“Big metal motor wagon Azure!” my friend pointed out.

He was right. The thing was coming over a nearby hill with several train carts behind it. I figured that it would not be a bad idea to ask them if they saw a bulldozer called Daisy Chain.

So Bonzo and I walked over to intercept the motor wagon. The hellhound waved his paws in the air in a friendly manner.

The big thing slowed to a stop. On top of it were several ponies with guns pointed at us. It didn’t make me feel safe, but all the ponies had guns, so I was getting used to it. Popping a head out from what I guessed was the driver's cabin was a purple stallion in a mangled white suit. He looked at Bonzo with a confused look on his face.

“Why did we stop?” A familiar-looking mare asked as she popped her head up from the first train cart. She was blue with a long wavy green mane. She wore what looked like the pony version of a one-piece swimsuit. “Oh fuck! A hellhound! What does it want?” she shouted.

“I’m about to ask that!” the stallion shouted back.

The purple stallion then looked over at Bonzo, smiling nervously. “Can we help you, mister?”

“I am Bonzo, and this is Azure,” he said, presenting me to the stallion.

I gave him a slight bow. “Azure Dice, and yes, we're looking for a bulldozer by the name of Daisy Chain. I have a package for Harp Melody and her friends.”

He looked one part confused, and one part concerned. “Did the NCR put up a bounty for them?”

“A bounty? I don’t know. Well, they did leave a mess when they left the NCRCF. The mare Lieutenant Ginger was considerably upset by it, but I think any bounty is left up to those higher in rank than her. So no. But I do have their things and a care package from the Follower of the Apocalypse,” I explained.

His concern faded, but not his confusion. “Sorry for asking, but what are you? I mean, you look like you came out of the movie, The Creature from the Black Lagoon... No offense,”

I waved off the comment. “None taken. I’m just not from this world. That's all.”

He then gasped. “I knew it! Aliens are real! Did you come here on a flying saucer or were you beamed down here?!”

“What?” I asked, now feeling confused.

“SHUT UP, SLOWTROT!” a voice came from his pipbuck.

There was then a commotion further down the train carts as a pink with a blue mane pony poked her head out. Ewing her gray muzzle, it was unmistakably the pony I was looking for.

She jumbled out and ran up to me. She knocked over pebbles as she slid to a stop. “Wh… what are you doing here? How are you here?”

“Well when you teleported out, you poked a hole in the time-space bubble. This caused me to fall into your world. I think. I’m no trans-dimensional wizard, so I could be wrong.” I explained.

“Whatever. You said you have my stuff, right?” she asked with desperation in her voice.

Nodding, I looked at Bonzo. “Looks like you don't have to carry the bag anymore. Thank you for the help.”

As soon as the hellhound put the bag on the ground, Harp dove into it. She pulled out a red cap with a metal plate and gold medallion on it. “Thank Celestia! Thank Luna, Her hat is still here! Oh then ancestor Platinum, my dress and jacket are here too… and my underwear.” The last part she said with a sigh.

The stallion named Slowtrot had come down from the bulldozer. He trotted over and took a few things from the bag I got from the prison.

“So you know him?” the stallion Slowtrot checked with Harp cautiously.

She first put the red dress on before answering, “Before I fell into New Appaloosa, he was in the in-between place with me. That dark place filled with that ash-like stuff.”

Slowtrot physically quivered. “That damn place. But how? You would have had to have fallen through the megaspell to get there?”

I suddenly realized that he had been there too. Fascinating.

I felt it was time to explain a little about my predicament. “I simply happen to wander in there from a different method. I might have gotten distracted by this armor piece when I was on my way home you see. Ended up stuck where Miss Harp had fallen into.” I then pulled out the artifact I had found there and showed it to the stallion.

Slowtrot froze for a moment then hit his face with his hoof. “So you found Quicktrot’s original body. I should have known it would come back to me again.”

“What!” Harp yelped as she looked at the thing. “That thing? You mean that? It’s used to be that bitch Quicktrot?”

He nodded. “Ya. The pipbuck 2600. The thing almost killed me when I had it on. I should consider myself lucky to only have had a piece of my soul stolen by it.”

Harp then hit her own face with her hoof. “Now that explains why Order is smarter than he should be. When I first met Azure here, I downloaded its program over to my pipbuck to see if it could help me get out.”

Slowtrots eyes then drifted down at Harps pipbuck. “Oh please don’t be evil.”

Her pipbuck then beeped. “I am a VI assistant. I only do what Madam Harp tells me to.”

“And you're only supposed to talk when commanded to, Order,” Harp reminded her pipbuck.

Again her pipbuck beeped. “There seems to be a logic error in my programming. Shall I debug?”

Harp sighed. “No, Order. Ee will deal with this later. I’ll have Orthrus look at you once we get back to them.”

She then looked up at me and smiled. “Well, it’s good to see a friendly face. But why are you even here? I mean, aside from you told us before.”

“Oh, that's simple. I need you to take me to this megaspell. If I can get myself back between reality, then my friend should be able to find me.” I told her.

Harp again sighed. “So you need to go west too. Well then, welcome aboard.”

The blue mare from before then jumped out from the train cart. A big smile was on her face. “So who’s the… Holy fuck! What in the goddesses are you!” she shouted in shock.

“Star Charter, this is Azure Dice. He is from another dimension,” Harp told her.

Now I remember. She's the mare that stole the gun when I originally passed through this world. “Oh! It’s nice to see you again. Do you still have the gun you took from that mare? The one I and my friend were with?”

“What?” the mare and Harp asked.

“Or maybe that hasn't happened yet. You were fighting a mare that looked a lot like this stallion at the time,” I explained as I pointed at Slowtrot.

Now all three said “WHAT?!”

“Oh, sorry. The mare that you took the gun from, she looked a lot like Harp, but she was peach-colored with a blond mane. Also, four of her legs were made of metal and she has this long red scarf.” I further explained.

“VIBRAPHONE!” Harp shouted as she grabbed me. “You met Vibraphone! Please tell me she’s alive!”

I gently pulled her off me. “Sorry. She didn’t give me her name. It was only a brief moment and we were in a place where reality was unstable. The mare was also desperately looking for someone, but the place was preventing her from getting closer. My friend gave her something to stop the time-space warping temporarily so that she could get to where that person was.”

Harp then slumped. “That must have been in Labs D when Blackspot had captured me.”

She then looked at Star for a moment before looking back at me. A glimmer of hope in her eyes. “Alright. I guess you're coming with us, Azure.”

“Of course I am, but before I do, can you give my friend Bonzo something for his troubles? He has been so helpful to me,” I requested.

Harp nodded and then shouted to some of the ponies in the train car. “Hey, give the hellhound a slab of the smoked snake meat we have!”

They quickly pulled out a long paper-wrapped piece of meat and giving it to Bonzo.

The hellhound smiled as he smelled the meat. “Bonzo knows he will like this. Thank you friend, and thank you ponies.”

With a wave, I got onto the bulldozer named Daisy Chain and let my new friend be on his way. Wishing him luck. “So where are you hedging right now/”

Harp smiled as she got into the train cart. “To some friends that will take us west.”