Fallout Equestria: Desperados

Fallout Equestria: Desperados

It never Changes, Part 3

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"The third thing Slowtrot hated was something all people felt at some point or another. The hatred for oneself is simply looking back with hindsight and knowing you could have done better.

Unfortunately for Slowtrot, it involves the deaths of several ponies he had become close to. Not that he could have changed much of what would have happened. From how he described the events the guilt remains. Oddly, this was my first time seeing survivor's guilt in person despite how long I have been around. I had read about it and pondered it, but never met someone who was suffering from it.

Under the why me is a simple wish that they could trade their life for another, for they valued that person more than themselves. Others may not see it, but that's what I’ve come to understand. It’s not that they view themselves as lesser, but that they value the other person so much more." ~ Azure Dice

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“On three, pull it out,” I told the distressed mare. A large piece of shrapnel was logged into her husband's stomach; the fact he was even alive after the mine blew up his vehicle was a miracle in itself. Now we needed to work quickly to seal up his wound as soon as it opened.

I didn’t know if this was going to save him or not, but all I had was the instructions from my pipbuck and the trust of the others around me. “Three!”

His blood spurted out and I immediately shoved the clean cloth on top of it. I tried to stop the bleeding while another pony held him from the other side. Everything turned red under my hoofs as I applied the pressure. “Now you do it. While you do that, I’ll get bandages.” I further instructed the mare.

She bravely did as I said with tears in her eyes. Taking the bandages, I tightly wrapped them around the stallion which turned red on contact. It didn’t take long. It felt like forever, but somehow the bleeding was stopped. Ever so carefully, we loaded the pony onto a stretcher, making sure not to disrupt the bandages. His wife went with him as he was taken to one of the tents to hopefully recover once more healing potions arrive.

Several vehicles were sent out to both the stable and the town we cleared out to gather medical supplies. I soon realized that itt was going to take a while until they would arrive. Time some of the ponies here didn’t have.

“Thank Celestia you were here Slowtrot,” Crankshaft said to me gratefully as he trotted over. The large stallion sported a few bullet injuries and a solemn look on his face.

“Couldn't save Burning Asphalt or most of the others,” I lamented with a sigh.

He sighed too. “Gam’s was old. She knew what was more important. As for the others, there was nothing you can do with so little of what we have.”

“I wish we had taken all the medical supplies here when we could have,” I growled.

He cracked his neck. “Ya, and I wish I could see the future or go back in time to prevent this. Anyways, with those broken motor wagons in the way, it makes it really hard to move a crate of medical supplies out of that ruin, so don’t blame yourself. They were right under our nose and we didn’t even see that attack coming. It didn’t help that what healing potions we did have got drained from fighting with the cazadors. By the way, thanks for taking out another nest.”

“Fat good it does anypony now,” I grumbled.

Crankshaft forced me up on my four legs while avoiding eye contact. His voice cracked a little as he said, “Since that’s everypony that needs to be recovered, you should go. I heard they're doing better now.”

Nodding, I left Crankshaft to look at the moon. He didn’t need somepony to see him break down. Anyways, I would too if I saw it.

As I trotted through the camp, the dead were lined up. Bits of cloth covered their face to give them their dignity. The healing potions we had were used up in the attack which saved adults and foals alike.

But the attack was too sudden and too savage for the Desperados to deal with. Many got cut down before they could even fight back. Now fifty-eight ponies were dead. The killing was indiscriminate with several of the victims being foals who hadn't even gotten their cutie-mark.

The tent where Live and Dead Axle was being held had a very angry stallion standing in front of it. It was clear that the twins got their colors from him. He was a fury of a red, orange, and yellow pony.

Stud Axle lifted me up by my collar with murder in his eyes. “The fuck were you thinking? Who gave you the right to put my daughters in danger like that?!”

I didn’t say anything. He was right. I should have just said no. Harp had a plan. She was the thinker. This was my fault, so I deserve this hate.

“Put him down!” Rack End growled. He scowled at me for another moment before dropping me on my flank. “Good. Now get in here. both of you!”

Trotting inside, the look of the Rack End’s eyes was of cold hate that I deserved. Passed her was Live and Dead Axle. They were bandaged up, but not getting any better. Without healing potions, all anypony could do was seal up the wounds. It was not going to be enough. They had lost too much blood and were suffering from internal bleeding. I wasn’t even sure a healing potion could even help them at this point. They only closed wounds and mended bones, not produce more blood.

Scanning them with my pipbuck, it only confirmed what I already knew.

I still had something I could use, but only one of it. What the Lutece siblings told me now felt like mockery. I had held back just in case they were to make a recovery, but it was now apparent that it was not going to happen. The fact that they were still holding on after getting shot where they did was something I doubt most ponies could do.

The Desperados were certainly built tougher than most.

Pulling out the Lazarus serum and the Peitho that’s needed to activate the magic, I checked again on my pipbuck, hoping for a change.

They were both still dying.

A groan came from Dead Axle as she stirred, looking at me with drained eyes. “So that’s the miracle juice Star mentioned? I wished you had a second one.”

“I wished I had enough for everypony here,” I told her.

She smiled, showing me her blood-covered teeth. “Ain't that the truth. But you’d have to go somewhere far away to get it.”

If only it was something so easy as going to the store. “Ya, and there wouldn't be enough time. Never is.”

A pained laugh came from Dead Axle. “Funny from the pony who can skip around in time.”

It was an idea, but one that I knew was unreliable. There was also no way to know when I would come back, or if I would return alive.

I wanted to offer her the serum, but then it would mean abandoning Live Axle instead. How could I make such a choice? Too many ponies had already died today, and now I could save one, but not the other. It was just not fair. They got shot and I came out with barely a scratch. This was their world. Not mine. They should be the ones living in it.

Why is it that a pony who should have died two hundred years ago is the one who gets to live?

“I’m… sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have just done what I was told. I would not have charged that hill with you two. Now one of you is going to die and that pony should have been me!” I cried out at Dead Axle.

Her eyes were slowly draining of life, but even then she managed to roll them at me. “We would have kicked ya out of the smuggler if you went all pussy on us. Ain't no way we’re going to just let our family charge to their death so long as we can do… something about it.”

Dead Axle then reached out with her hoof and pushed the Lazarus serum away from her. Her eyes teared up. “Now go save my sister. I’ll never forgive you if you don’t. And… please don’t… don’t forget me.”

“That’s just not fair. you know that.” My voice quivered.

Again she smiled and said weekly, “It’s the wasteland. Shits here is never fair. We all know that.”

Taking a step back, I took a long and deep breath. “You would have made an excellent mother.”

She frowned at me. “Now… that's not fair, you… asshole.” Dead then turned her head, now looking upwards. “Please, take care of my sister. She’s... stronger than she knows, but… is going to need somepony by her side.”

“Don’t worry. I will,” I promised her as I turned around to the unconscious Live Axle. Pulling off the cap of the Lazarus Serum, I again took a deep breath before jabbing it into her arm. The red fluid forced its way into Live Axle. When it was done, I did the same with the Peitho.

Like with Harp, the color quickly returned to Live Axle’s face. A moment later, she shot up. Her eyes were wide with panic.

“NO!” she screamed as she leaped up and over to Dead Axle. “No, no, no, no, no. Please no!”

Live held her sister up, but she was already limp, causing me to feel like I was about to collapse.

“This can’t be fucking how it ends!” she shouted. Her head slowly turned to me. Deep hatred was in her eyes. “You? Why did you save me?!”

“Because… I…” I could not find the words. It all just got stuck in my throat.

Letting her sister go, she trotted right up to me. The only sign she had been dying of blood loss was her bloody bandages. “Because what? Tell me, tell me!”

She raised her hoof up to strike me. I stood there without flinching. I deserved to be knocked around for what I let happen. When her hoof came down, it was weak. Too weak. Tears were now flowing in her eyes as her lips quivered. Then she buried her face into my chest, sobbing. “Why does she do this to me every time? Why can’t she let herself be happy for damn once? Why does she always have to put me above herself like this?”

Holding Live in my hooves, she collapsed. The strong battle-ready mare was still just a mare. She wanted to love and be loved. To wear pretty dresses and have tea parties. She also loved her family deeply. So much so that losing her sister hurt more than a bullet ever will.

“MAKE WAY!” Tire Fire shouted from the outside before busting in. He looked at the scene, and then at me with desperation on his face. “How long?”

“What?” I asked.

“How long has my little sister been dead?” he asked me in a panicked tone.

“Can’t have been over a minute. She might still be alive, if barely,” I told him weakly while trying to hold in my own tears.

Tire Fire breathed a sigh as though he was relieved to hear his sister was dead?

“Harp, there's still time!” he shouted out.

From outside, Harp trotted in, b-lining it to Dead Axle with Order floating behind her. She then placed an odd-looking gemstone on top of Dead. It began to shimmer.

“What are you do-” I was about to ask before Tire Fire shoved his hoof into my muzzle.

“Let her work. Talk later,” he told me.

The magic around Harp continued to shimmer, seemingly flowing into the gem, then to Dead. As I watched, Dead Axle slowly turned gray until she looked like a statue. My jaw slacked as a saw that Harp had petrified her!

“Simply amazing, isn’t it?” Azure said, having at some point come in without being noticed. “Using a petrification talisman to preserve those who cannot be saved right now, but are not yet too far gone to not be saved later.”

I looked at him in shock. “You mean she… can be saved?”

The Lurker scratched at what would have been called a chin if it was not made of claws. “Possibly. There is some magic and technology from my world that's used to keep a person alive long enough for them to get help. I mentioned that to Harp, and she apparently had an epiphany. We… well, she conducted a few tests as fast as she could. Once we knew it was a viable solution, she got to using it on those who needed it.”

“Then why did you say possibly? Sounds like this will save her,” I figured to Azure.

“Unfortunately the petrification does not heal the damage already done. Also, nopony has the cure for death or a treatment that can work fast enough to keep those about to die from expiring,” he said to me. His eyes looked down and over at the empty glass bottle of the lazarus serum. “Unless that is.”

“Unless I go get more lazarus serum!” I answered loudly.

Harp then tumbled to the floor where Tire Fire quickly scooped her up and sat her down gently. She was breathing heavily as though she just ran all day. She also looked like she was about to throw up.

“Fuck,” she panted. “That … talisman… needs a lot… of magic… but it’s… done.”

Live got herself out of my hooves and trotted over to her sister and then hugged her petrified sister as she began to cry again.

Grabbing my jacket, I threw it over Live Axle’s shoulders. “I know where I need to go to get more of that serum. I’ll save her, and any pony else that needs it.”

Several tears fell onto Dead Axle’s face, making it look like she was also crying.

“Please… please save my sister. She deserves to live,” Live pleaded.

“I know… I know,” I assured before tuning to Harp. “How many others need the serum?”

Harp took a moment to catch her breath before telling me. “Not many. Fortunately enough. Most of those I petrified just needed several healing potions. Only a few had reached their limit.”

Standing, her legs wobbled a little as she struggled to hold herself up. “But that can wait. I have another matter to attend to.”

I quickly trotted over to her to give her some support. Taking a quick glance back, the rest of Dead Axle’s family had gathered around. Rack End looked at me. Seeing the hopeful look in her eyes was enough to send a message to me. It was that of a mother telling me that I better do what I said I will do.

If I could undo at least one death that I helped cause, then I will try even if it meant descending into Tartarus if I must.

Was this how Healing Herbs felt? Seeing an opportunity to change fate and running to grab it? She had helped make the first megaspell and she attempted to change the past itself in hopes to fix what she started. She also was dragged down by forces beyond her control and was murdered by me… I can’t help but feel that the same fate awaits me.

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The sound of a pain-muffled moan from inside a tent caught me off guard. I had the distinctive sound of somepony crying. It wasn't the sound of a pony suffering from an injury, but one actively being hurt.

Trotting in, I saw one of the Blue Skies mercenaries bound and gagged. He was beaten bloody and had a broken leg. Standing over him was a pissed-off Desperado mare.

Harp eyed the Desperado and sighed. “Has he told us anything?”

The mare spat on her prisoner. “More of what we already know. Are you sure this is necessary? It’s not like it’s a mystery to who sent them.”

“There's always more to know like what one of her friends has shared with us,” Harp said coldly as she looked down at the mercenary with disgust. “Turns out that their friend’s own life was worth more than all of yours.” She then motioned with her head at the Desperado.

The gag was removed from the prisoners, and the stellion spat out some blood. “Fuck you! Nopony said nothing!”

Harp didn’t look amused as she sat down in front of the stallion. “You say that, but after you cut off a pony's hooves and force them to dance, the others change their tune quickly. I would have trotted that pony over here, but I rather not scare the children here. Gleaning that pony also sent a strong message.”

The prisoner looked shocked for a moment but quickly regained his composure. “Like fuck would a stable pony be able to do that. We know how your kind ar-”

Harp threw a sack from her saddlebag onto the floor in front of the stallion. From it, several body parts fell out. I almost puked when I realized what they were. They were pony testicles, still fresh. Even the Desperado looked away in horror.

The prisoner looked down at them. His confidence faded from his face.

Getting low to him, Harp then said softly, “If you are cooperative, I will let you live. But if you have nothing new to tell us, well… you can live as less of a stallion.”

With shock and horror on his face, the stallion began talking, revealing to us how this attack even happened. From his testimony, this attack had been planned for a week now, and the Blue Skies mercenaries had gotten help from Stopped Clock in getting around the land here such as what route would keep a pony hidden, where to find small caves to hide in, and what routes the Desperados normally took. He even told us about where some of the weapons cases were nearby, but Harp’s face didn’t change. She still looked with disgust at the stallion. Getting even more panicked, he started telling us about other cashes unrelated to this attack, where they kept chems, guns, and other commodities.

There was even the mention of slaves, which only made my blood boil more.

“That’s… that’s everything I know of. Please let me go,” the prisoner pleaded.

Harp finally backed off and smiled. “Now don’t you feel better that you told me everything? But… turns out that none of that is new information to us, and I was lying about letting any of you live.”

Panic erupted on his face, but before he could do or say anything, the Desperado brought down a tire iron on his head, caving in his skull.

I looked at the dead stallion, and then at Harp. “Was.. was that ne-”

“Don’t you go telling me you have any sympathy for them after what they did,” she growled at me.

Looking back at the dead stallion, the scene was shocking and disgusting, but I also felt numb. “Honestly, I don’t know how to feel right now. Maybe I’m just tired of seeing dead ponies.”

Harp's face softened as she looked at me. “Ya… me too. But there is still one more death that needs to happen before I’m satisfied.”

She quickly trotted out of the tent. Since I was worried about her, I followed.

“Wait. What do you mean? Don’t you already have the information from them?” I asked her.

“It’s called corroborating evidence by keeping those mercenaries separated while tortured. We were able to prevent them from working together to give false information. While I tested the petrification talisman, I was also gathering that information. Now the Desperados can get their revenge and take their supplies at the same time.” Harp explained.

Following her, I saw that we were heading to the Elders big tent where Azure was waiting for us. The pony-shaped crab stopped us. “You sure you want to go in?”

“Arras promised to keep him alive for me, so yes. I want to go in,” Harp confirmed. Because of it, Azure stepped aside.

I sighed as I told him, “This is all just so messed up. I’m sure nothing like this happens in your world.”

He chuckled. “If only that was true. Being an explorer, the first lesson I had to learn was that my life had little worth to others. They would not hesitate to kill me if they could get something of worth out of my corps. Also plenty of violence came from where I was born, sadly enough.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Abuse?”

Azure chuckled again. “Fortunately, no. I was born in the floating fortress casino of Dice. Crime was not uncommon, and the Lurkers of Dice were not kind to those who broke the rules.”

“Wait, so you’re what? Named after where you were born?” I asked him.

“Well that’s what Lurkers were given who didn’t have direct parents. Sometimes a fool will bet their eggs and those lurkers born from it would be raised to work for the casino. Fortunately I had a bright blue shell when I hatched, so I got one of the nicer names.” He looked a bit happy with himself before his face claws straightened over his mandibles. “But that aside, cruelty can come from anywhere. This night stands as proof of it. So long as there are individuals, there will be conflict and violence.”

“Maybe, but all this? Why would anypony agree to it?” I huffed at the Lurker.

“Today, I, too, don’t understand, but I know better than to pretend ignorance,” he said and sighed. “This is a subject that would take too long to go over, so I’ll make it short. So long as someone feels justified, the violence they can enact will not have limits. Unfortunately, that justification can be as shallow as they were paid to do it, and it’s to someone they don’t care about.”

“Or as deep as seeing the others as evil, and if they don’t kill them, then they will be killed by them,” I said, remembering all the wartime propaganda depicting the zebras with evil red eyes.

The sound of crackling and the scream of a stallion startled both of us.

Trotting in, I saw False Cap bound to some wooden bars, forcing him to stand up. He was bloody from lashes all over, and one of his ears was missing. Harp had her baton out, but it was covered in wires that sparked with energy as she shimmered.

Jabbing False with the baton, it crackled with energy, causing False to scream again. After several seconds, she pulled back the baton and just glared at False, not saying anything.

The fat stallion gave a weak laugh. “See… Ashy… was… right,” he panted. “You… nothing… more… than… raiders.”

She jabbed the baton at him again, but this time in his eye. False screamed even louder. His body convulsed from the shock. After a moment she let go, and shockingly False was still concise. He moaned in pain as he glared at Harp with only one eye. The other was burnt and bloodied.

She looked over at Elder Big Papa who was sorting through a box with several different chems inside. “This chem relay does keep him from passing out,” she said in a low, tired tone.

“All nighter powder. Before the wasteland came to be, this shit was in demand from any pony who had to work all night. Students in university and Ministry ponies dealing with paperwork.” Arras told her as she held a jar of white powder. “I know a horror story where ponies using the stuff had to go into emergency surgery and nothing could knock them out. Just imagine being awake as some surgeons take out your organs to remove a broken knife a biker logged into you after being an asshole.”

“And I wonder who owned that knife,” Harp said flatly as she turned her head to look at False. “As for you, why did you do it? Ehy are you even here?”

False panted for a moment, catching his breath. “You don't know… how much of a group of dumb… fucks can you all be. The Desperados are… Raiders. We kill raiders.”

“There are foals here. You shot and killed foals!” Harp yelled at him.

An arrogant chuckle came from False, filling me with disgust.

Spitting out a bit of blood, False Cap spoke. “All of you are raiders. We shoot raiders. Foals of raiders become adult raiders, so just exterminate the vermin before they can spread. That's how this has always been. Ever read that Lightbrigner book? It was how Calamity did shit too. We're only doing what heroes do.”

He hacked up some more blood before glaring at Harp with a cocky smile on his face. “When Ashy sees that we have not returned, she will come for you and end this once and for all.”

“And why is Blue Skies with you?” Harp asked.

“The more guns, the better. And I heard that their boss has a score to settle with them,” he answered.

I then spoke up. “You do know that Blue Skies is involved in the slave trade, right?”

Harp nodded. “Several of them admitted to such. So much for the famous slaver hunters.”

False’s smile didn’t fade, but instead it twisted and became filled with malice. “Why would I care? I’m only with Ashy because I can get what I want while under her. The mare is so blind for so long that, if I say the right thing, she will ignore what I do. All to forward her ideals of justice. Just keep saying the right thing and I get all the caps. All the bitches and all the power!”

His glare at Harp intensified. The one good eye filled with a deep hatred that reminded me of the ponies from my time when they would talk about the zebras. “If it wasn't for you, you bitch, I wouldn't be leading this attack! Ashy would have stayed blind to what I was doing. I could have been partying it up right now. A whore like you should have just done as I say and suck my-”

Harp shoved the baton in his mouth, pushing it far in. “I’d make you deep throat your own hogshit, but this will do,” she growled at the fat stallion.

Harp’s shimmer intensified as False cap began convulsing violently. His restraints digged into his flesh and causing it to bleed. Electricity sparked off False Cap as he began to blacken from his fur burning. Smoke began waving off the baton. Sparks flickered off of it before the thing gave a loud pop and everything stopped.

She then quickly trotted out of the tent, leaving the baton inside False with both it and him smoking.

He weekly looked up at me, somehow still alive after that.

Trotting up to him, I felt nothing. The scene was shocking and the smell was horrendous. But looking at the tormented and now dying False Cap made me feel nothing. I wanted to hate him. he deserved my hate, yet I felt nothing.

“Is it because you’ve gotten the punishment you deserve, or is it because I’ve already seen too much?” I shook my head, somehow understanding why. “No. That’s not it. You're just like all the others. Out to get your own. Never thinking about more than yourself. So many of them were around during the war who made things worse by just letting it get worse. All because it let them get what they wanted.All they needed to do was say the right thing to the right ponies.”

I gave him a slight slap on the cheeks, almost as though messing with a pony who was not garbage. “At least the other horrible ponies I have met had greater goals than you. Spritz wanted the Steel Rangers to be the only ones to have technology. Quicktrot seeks to have a body that doesn't rot. Victoria? I guess she wanted to go home. Then there's Thorn Roseland who wanted to see the downfall of Equestria. By with what you see all around you, I guess she got exactly what she wanted. You, on the other hoof? You're nothing and deserve nothing.”

Taking a step back, False Cap groaned as he let out one last breath before going limp. The scene was horrible. Utterly horrific, but I still didn’t feel anything.

I looked over at the Elder and asked him, “Is it bad that I don’t feel anything from this, or have I finally gone mad?”

The ghoul closed the case of chems. There was a solemn look on his decayed face. “No, you have just resolved yourself to what comes next.”

“And that is?” I asked.

“War,” he answered.

“War?” I said in shock.

Elder Big Papa growled. “They attacked us.No way we're running with our tails between our legs. This requires a debt to be paid in blood!”

This filled me with dread because I knew that there was nothing I could say or do to stop it. No. They had the right to want to strike back, and I had no right to tell them otherwise.

Trotting outside, I found Harp just sitting in the dirt with Azure next to her. She looked up at the sky. “You know, we sent a few ponies up there,” I said as I sat next to her. “Going to the moon like Luna had, they would say.”

“Why can’t they just leave us alone. Nopony ever needed to die,” she complained to me.

“I… don’t know, but I agree, none of this would have happened if ponies minded their own business. Then again, is it ever that simple?” I asked as I looked at my own blood stained hooves.

Harp let her head drop and nodded. “Ya. It’s rarely ever that simple. Maybe this is partially my fault as well. Maybe I should have just worked for the mayor or accepted Quicktrots offer.”

“You can’t change the past. Trust me, I’ve seen a pony try. No, we just have to live with the mistakes we have made… though it still doesn't stop it from hurting.” I told her as I began messing with my pipbuck. I looked through some of the messages the R&D Stable left me, wishing me good luck. I wondered what they would say if they knew how this world would have turned out to be.

“Too many mistakes to count, but ya, it hurts to remember.” Harp said softly.

As we sat there, we saw Crankshaft galloping to us. He was holding one of the Pipbuck 2000’s in his mouth. The large stallion slid to stop, kicking up a bit of dust as he dropped the pipbuck in one of his hooves. “You two need to hear this!”

He fiddled with the pipbuck for a moment before pressing play on a recording on it. Longslide’s voice then came through its speakers as it crackled. “To the Desperados, if you're hearing this, y'all need to get to the Followers camp and now. Somehow Ashy knows Star is there and she’s gathering her possy to go down to get her. I repeat-”

Harp quickly got up. Her lip quivered in what I could guess was hate and fear. Having also gotten up as well, it only took a glance between us for us to know what we were going to do.

Galloping past Crankshaft, we made our way to the Smuggler. There was no way we were going to wait and hope Star would be okay.

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-Level Up-

-Slowtrot-

Lv, 9

Medican is now at 75

Melee Weapons is now at 30

Small guns is now at 36

-New perk gained-

Wasteland Medic- It takes confidence to patch a broken pony together with nothing but random scraps around you, and even more luck for them to survive. Healing is 10% more effective with a 25% chance of doubling the healing effect.

-Harp Melody-

Lv, 9

Science is now at 80

Speech is now at 80

Small guns is now at 25

-New perk gained-

Guardian Dulhan- As though death itself had come to drag the wicked to the river stix, it appeared like a nightmare. In battle, a strange headless pony in black armor will come to Harps aid, dual-wielding two revolvers engulfed in blue fire. The presence of this pony gives Harp an unnatural aura when around death, thus greatly increasing her ability to eliminate. As mysteriously as the pony appears, they vanish, leaving behind the smell of brimstone and installing terror in those who have seen it.

-Star Charter-

Lv, 9

Small guns is now at 61

Melee Weapons is now at 60

-New perk gained-

War Dancer - All’s fair in love and war, and being able to move one’s hips can also help in both. When dealing with the opposite sex, Star takes a -5% to damage and a +5% to damage given, along with new dialogue options.