Comments Guide the Story

by Mr Critique

Rating: mature
Tags: Second Person, Comedy, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1181

An isekai story involving the land of Equestria, with a twist. The title is no lie, your comments do indeed guide the story. A human is killed and is now in need of a new home, what will happen when he arrives? Only the viewers decide.

An isekai story involving the land of Equestria, with a twist. The title is no lie, your comments do indeed guide the story. A human is killed and is now in need of a new home, what will happen when he arrives? Only the viewers decide.

There may not be much of a description as of now, but there will be updates with new chapters so it's never off subject. I wanted to try this so it's something fun for everyone to enjoy and participate in. The guidelines for this fanfiction are at the end of the first chapter for those that would like to participate, or if you prefer to see how the story will go, by all means, don't let me stop you. This could very well end up being a train wreck. We'll see here shortly.

Published 2020-02-10 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-10 23:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1: The Layout

A flash of light impaired your vision, forcing you to block the light with your forearm as the sound of screeching rubber started its treacherous path towards you. As your eyes adjusted to the light, it all became clear after that point. The inevitable death barreling towards you was all that filled your field of vision while you stood in the middle of the street like a deer caught in headlights, frozen by fear.

The feeling of gravity left your body, being replaced with the sensation of flight. Everything was moving so fast, yet, it felt as if your awareness was heightened. Probably due to the sudden adrenaline pumping through you. The bright city lights above blended with the night sky, as if the night was a giant canvas for the God(s) above to do with as they pleased. It put a small smile on your face, for the short moment that it happened, your kind of glad it ended this way.

As gravity wrapped it’s gentle arms around you, the ground felt a little less firm on your body as it boar into the concrete road, performing several brutal, chaotic spins on the ground. Before your body lay still, you were once again met with a blinding light. This one contradictory to the first as it was the light one might see at the end of a tunnel.

For the few seconds you could feel anything, before you drifted away, you didn’t feel any pain, only the warm embrace of fate. Death was giving you mercy by taking the pain away and you thanked it for that.

The calming sound of rain pelting puddles, concrete, and your broken body, made you feel at peace, like nothing else mattered. In the span of several seconds, it was all over and your body finally fell limp.

Over the course of who knows how long, time after death is weird, you had to watch your body. You have no idea why you had to stay but you did it without another thought. It was as if something was either forcing you, or compelling you to stay put next to your body. It was an eerie feeling, that was creepy enough at first, but after you ignored it, it kind of went away unless the thought of leaving arose again.

Besides that, nothing else was really there with you. The void around you was blank with an excessive amount of space. You sort of “felt” the sensation of being moved as well, without ever really moving. You chalked it up to your body being moved in the real world in some form of way and left it at that.

Not like there was much to do about it, so you sat patiently until something happened. Besides, watching your body provided a task, more like a distraction, to accomplish and that was all you needed. Hopefully the answer for your next step falls into your non-existent lap.

The day for your funeral arrived, your body was dressed and shipped in a big box to its proper location for disposal. As the “proper” disposal of the body came to a conclusion, so did your ghost, and everything vanished.

Without a body or a brain, nothing existed. Some say everything is just black after death, resembling the sensation of one’s eyes being closed. Sadly, you have no idea how to tell.

As time continued to pass you by, you went into a state similar to being unconscious. No thoughts arose during this time but every memory could be accessed, letting you spend this time remembering your past life.

As you succumbed to your new "life,” everything began to shift around you. In an instant, everything came back to you. You had a body again. It happened so slowly yet, in the blink of an eye, you were breathing, seeing, making sound. This would mark the beginning of your new legacy. Your new life.

Your face contorted from confusion as the first thing you see is the ground beneath you. Only problem is, the ground is nowhere close to your feet or body.

"Shit." you mutter quietly in a high pitch voice with a defeated look on your face.

All of a sudden, gravity reared its ugly face at you as it dragged you down towards the earth. With a very manly "war cry," you start to flail your arms and legs in the air, not knowing what else to do at the moment. Something you've succumbed to often, more than you would like.

After a few seconds of your manly cry, you stop yourself from freaking out and assess the situation. Most of the area below you is either just grass and dirt or a few patch of trees connected together. Otherwise known as a forest. Falling this high might kill you unless something can be done about it. The only soft landing you can aim for would be the trees, even then that's asking for a lot.

The trees below you looked menacing as their long arms reached, the wind causing their branches to seemingly move upward as if to catch you.

"No need to worry, I got this!" you psyched yourself up and prepared for landing.

Before your hands could react, your body fell into the trees and either broke or stripped the branches of its leaves before your body instinctively reacted at the last moment. Your hand gripped the last firm branch before your body became a mashed potato and swung yourself around to let go and land perfectly on the branch.

You smirked. "Like I said, I got this!" you said as your knees began to tremble beneath you. Not just from the adrenaline and shock from your stunt but also from the sickly green eyes that were currently tearing into your very soul.

A single, wooden paw came from the shadows and out stepped a wooden beast that resembled a wolf. Odd thing was, it was foaming at the mouth and it looked to be alone.

"Now what?" you ask disappointed as you tilt your head to the side.

Author's Note

Before I begin, note that I will be able to tell which comments are wanting to give an idea and which are not. If you wish not to participate you do not need to read any further.

Guidelines for comments:
The first three comments with an idea/scenario for the story will immediately be included into the next chapter and so on from this point forward.
You will remain human but besides that, go nuts.
Nothing to make you OP. No need to be weak in the story, either.
I will also progress a story line throughout the chapters posted, regardless of what becomes of the comments.
Any comments from a previous chapter or user for an idea will be ignored as to give everyone a chance to give an idea.
One last thing, try to keep the demands as reasonable as possible. That way this is a fun story for both you and myself!