I do believe an update is due. A long time has passed since I last touched it. So, here are some rough descriptions of the events between now and back then.

According to this, my last update was after the talent show five years ago. I won't try to make an excuse as to why I haven't touched this record. So, I'll go straight to the point.

Well, as one would expect, the talent show had a lot of repercussions on my daily life. Not only did I debunk a prodigy single-handedly, but I also did so while being a colt with the backing of three fillies that weren't part of a herd nor did I take them as part of mine. The scandal that followed and the number of outrageous claims were not pleasant at all. But, better touch each subject step by step.

First of all, I became a type of celebrity. I couldn't take two steps out of my classroom, bathroom, or my private sessions with Celestia without mares clinging to me or without being flirted with, regardless of age. That did a number on my ability to trust others as well as my social life as my sister started acting like a bodyguard for most of the day. I don't regret winning, I regret the fact I had to take part in it. In short, I don't trust most females. This is an issue.

Especially when most of the population is female.

I'm far from being completely ok with this distrust issue. However, I can't just overlook how many of them tried to use me as a means for a goal. And that's not touching the tip of the iceberg on that matter. I would say we scratched the surface of this matter at the top of such an iceberg. I despise the high class of Canterlot. And I wish nothing but its destruction, save for Celestia and a handful of ponies that still have a soul among these wretched snakes in the skins of ponies.

Secondly, my teacher.

How to begin?

Well, it would appear that my presentation and insane methods to achieve this victory didn't pass by her. So, naturally, she reprimanded me for being so reckless as to try to desperately win the competition while being sleep-deprived. However, what happened when I defended myself was what threw things out of wack. For starters, it seems my dedication/adoration of Celestia did not go unnoticed by her. Her behavior changed, and her looks are filled with worry whenever we interact. And as I grow older, she seems increasingly worried about it. I am unsure whether this is my fault, or the fault of nobility trying to use me to reach her.

The more the days passed after that night, Celestia began with the excuses that I should have more time for my dedicated studies. Therefore, our study sessions were reduced to one session a week, which progressed into once two weeks, eventually hitting the every month mark until we only see each other at her request. It would seem that my steady growth and alterations to my magical abilities started to make her more conscious of me. Out of all the changes, you could pin the most notable one being a kind of pull toward those of high magical ability or high potential. I have some level of control over the urges, so long as I notice the pony's potential before they trigger their magic. That way I can brace and prevent myself from attempting to interact with them. This pull is a special problem due to my distrust of others. An unnatural force draws me towards those with power, but my psyche pushes me away from interacting.

The strangest thing about this separation from Celestia was how the older I got, the further apart we got from each other physically speaking. I forced myself to excel in every field I could in an attempt to make her proud and maybe talk to me more. Necromancy, illusion, abjuration, conjuration, transmutation, evocation, void, soul, and heart, I studied all types of magic currently known to ponies. However, as my achievements seemed to make me grow into a bigger celebrity, the worst part of it was that Celestia also stepped away from me. Even as I stepped into the royal court as a royal magician, our physical distance only increased.

Yeah, I might have gone above and beyond with my studies and gone a tad too far.

I insist on the specification of physical, because of the tension and familiarity in the few conversations we have. Being in her presence is extremely alluring and I wish I could spend more time with her. But that also makes our few meetings even more pleasant.

On a side note, as far as my knowledge goes, I feel like these studies should have been easier. I can understand magic quickly enough to learn how to cast it after one or two tries. However, when it comes to mastering magic, I struggle a lot. The Blink Spell is a magic spell I learned years ago; I should have mastered it in a couple of weeks based on what I know about myself. However, only recently have I managed to start chaining blinks. And my limit is two. I remember a link of at least four blinks. This is off-putting, to say the least. It could mean that I don't have the same traits as I should have. It could be a side-effect of training my body to develop beyond magic fields.

Now, back to the updates.

I also started to make experiments with spells to combine them. A little trick from a mare called Starlight Glimmer, someone who will become a problem in the future. And someone I can't reach due to her isolation in the desert. I'm well aware of her powers, and I know where the edge of her abilities lies.

So, if I can do what she can, she loses her edge. This, also, caused Celestia to walk away from me. Especially when I managed to make my first combination. Evoque Duplicity s a spell that creates a phantasm image that imitates the caster. However, it can't touch objects. So, I combined it with two other spells. Detect Thoughts, a spell that creates a two-way connection between two creatures allowing them to share thoughts and read each other's minds. Create Golem, this spell is self-explanatory. With this combo, I created a body double that could perform preset actions and behaviors.

I showed this spell to Celestia. She was quick to use Dispell Magic and send me away without a word.

However, the room's temperature rose by at least two degrees when she saw my body double.

Third, I've been working to get stronger. Although, I should focus solely on magic due to my nature as a caster. I can lift about as much as a non-training earth pony. And that is a lot for male unicorn standards. Again, I can't match the might or speed of a mare. But, I need to get good enough to defend myself. Plus, with a little trick I learned, I can temporarily match a mare's strength. That's one of the plus things that I had during these five years. I have also been mimicking a battle stance from a game I liked. I got quite good at it too, so I can wield a two-handed sword if push comes to shove.

Sadly, my creation magic is yet to allow me to make a practical version of their weapon. And I would need to make a bonding ritual to make it have the same functions as the original weapon.

Fourth, and probably one of the important ones. Vinyl, Moon Dancer, and Lyra, these three were kind enough to help me during that crisis. And I've been an extremely lousy friend after it. I'm well aware of how I should be interacting with them by the time Nightmare returns. However, it was bad back then, it is bad now. And I hate it. Due to my popularity, I started running away from the school grounds as soon as the bell rang. So, my interactions with those three got limited to classroom talk. And I'm not oblivious, I know that hurt them. They look disappointed whenever I bolt from the classroom. I know I can trust them, in my heart. But my head keeps screaming the opposite.

Now, for the main reason for this entry. I'm about to turn eighteen. And when Barb found this diary and brought it to me, I recalled the train incident after meeting the Pie family.

Queen Chrysalis promised to come for me once I became of age. This is a major disruption of the timeline. I investigated her and her bookstore. Everything is squeaky clean. The store's papers, the exchanges, and so forth. Everything about her store is perfect. How she managed all of that is insane. I got no dirt on her. And I don't have a way to prove her identity. Their shape-shifting skills aren't magic. Dispell magic doesn't work on them (believe me, I tried). Meaning it's either a skill or part of their physiology.

SO! I need to prepare for Chrysalis's assault.

I'm calling it, Operation Doomsday.

"Da-Dusk? Why are you placing wards around the house?" Barb asked while I casually around placing defensive walls and mines around the library. Mind you, these are concussive mines. I'm not about to kill anyone if I can avoid it.

Even if they deserve it. Celestia would not be happy with me turning into a killer.

Although she remained around the same size as a big baby through my initial years, once I hit fourteen years, Barb took the size of a six-to-seven-year-old filly. She also learned how to create a special green fire that allows her to send letters to anyone she has met at least once. Another thing is how perceptive she is. So, she often caught on to me acting weird pretty fast. She is a good dragon, and she always has my back.

And she is one of the few females I trust.

"Does it have to do with that book I found beneath your bed in a chest?" Barb asked while putting her hands on her hip with her little yellow dress.

"Just making sure everything is safe. There have been some tracks near the windows and prints on them," I replied while running my hand across the window. A faint lavender glow emanated from it for a couple of seconds before disappearing. "And that concludes with the electrical wards. So, is there anything you want me to cook for dinner?" I asked while clapping my hands together and adjusting my clothes.

Right, my wardrobe. I have some new clothes now. My go-to combination is a lavender vest over a white shirt with a bright purple thin tie and a pair of dark purple pants. I also had purple shirts and T-shirts of various colors, blue pants, a full tuxedo, and other things. At some point, my mother came up with gothic-style clothing.

I never used it though. I should also mention my star seems to be turning darker as I grow older. I am unsure as to why that is, but it is happening. My intentions to protect this place haven't changed, so it might be because of my growing concern for the nobility of Equestria.

"That should be my line!" Barb said while crossing her arms and huffing. "You promised I would cook on your birthday!" She added while I dropped my shoulders as the memory of the promise crossed my mind.

"Right! I just forgot. Sorry about that," I replied while scratching the back of my head. "How about red-fruit salad? The one you made for Mom's birthday?" I said after pondering for a few seconds.

"Sure!!" She replied happily before running off into the kitchen.

And she is acting like my caretaker again. I guess being away from her for long periods made her want to be of use to me so I would keep her around. I should get her into a school or something. I mused while chuckling at the idea of her acting like a mother one day. But, based on things from the show, I knew she could end up falling for Rarity, Ember, or even Thorax. Either way, she was about as strong as an earth pony and could cause some serious damage with her claws. She would be a good addition to the front lines. But, since I'm her father, I cannot allow her to get hurt.

I'll kill anyone that lays a finger on her. And that's the end-game scenario for them. I rather not go into detail about what will precede the death.

Suddenly, the sound of knocking on the door made me go stiff. Turning around to face it, I cautiously walked towards the door while summoning a sword made out of magic. A little combination of Spiritual Weapon and Shadow Blade. Like the rest of my combos, it was a tad unstable. So, my arm got a tad numb whenever I used it. I opened the door and was greeted by a small pop of confetti.

"Surprise!" My parents and Gleaming said while I fell backward and dismissed the spell. Another thing, these combos break rather easily. "Happy Birthday!" They sang before Gleaming took my hand and had me stand up.

"Hey, um, hi!" I said while trying to regain my composure.

They all pushed their way inside as I continued baffled by the sudden visit. Guiding me to a table that I didn't recall setting, I found myself before a feast of pies, salads, sandwiches, and a cake in front of me. Some of the food seemed to have been prepared in advance and standing proudly in front of me, stood a puffed-chested Barb with a smug smile on her face.

"You!" I said while pointing at her with my index finger. She simply smiled at me with a cocky attitude.

"Me!" She shot back while making smoke come out of her nostrils. "I made sure to make these while you were worried about setting up a defense system around the house," She added pridefully while crossing her arms.

"Why would you set a defense system around your house?" Mom asked while I let out a sigh of relief.

"Stalkers," I replied promptly causing her to choke at her tea.

"Is it that bad?" Dad asked with a worried look as he tried to help mom unchoke.

"Well, no one has broken in. But there have been a lot of tracks right outside my windows. And some of them suggest ponies camping there," I replied while picking a serving of Barb's red-fruit salad.

"Why are you so relaxed? I can ask my friends in the guard to keep," Gleaming said before stopping mid-way. One glance from me was enough for her to recall why I was doing things on my own. She seemed to ponder over something for a bit before speaking again. "I better not. You did get the attention of the guard too. Some wonder if you will join the ranks anytime soon," I should have mentioned this, but Gleaming is now a part of the Guard. As a Young Private, but still a part of them nonetheless.

For a mare to climb the ranks is harder than for a stallion. Simply because of how the higher-ups stay away from danger.

"I don't intend to join the army. The armor is too shiny to my taste," I replied with a smile. "Though, it would be a perfect match for you, sis," I added before she bonked me on the head with a light punch.

Suddenly, more knocking on my door happened. However, Barb rushed to the door to open it before I could get up. Tilting my head, I waited for the new visitors to enter. Knowing Barb, she only invited ponies I trusted to visit. I am skeptical of most ponies. But there is a handful of them I know I can trust.

The newcomer was none other than Cadance, also known as the hottest topic for all stallions and mares around Canterlot. Celestia still held the top spot for the most desirable mare in Equestria, however, Cadance was right on her heels. Regardless of the popularity pool, Cadance was another face I stopped seeing after a while. But in this case, it was mainly due to her duties as a princess slowly increasing as time moved on. One of the few things I didn't fuck up. I hear that Gleaming and her are good friends, which is good. They need to get married in the next few years.

Back to the record, Cadance walked in with a neatly wrapped box. She placed the box on top of the table before walking close to me. I stood up and had to look upwards to look her in the eye. Cadance looked at me for a few moments before leaning forward and giving me a peck on the cheek. That threw me for a loop with how accidental it felt, especially since Cadance glared at Gleaming, who was giggling like crazy behind her.

Even now, they are still star-crossed lovers.

Turning to me with her cheeks flushed, Cadance used her breathing exercises to remove the blush. "You've grown," Cadance said softly as she tilted her head.

"So have you," I replied before gulping and taking a seat.

There was a moment of silence as everyone seemed to be thrown off by the gesture. We sat by the table, Barb brought in some snacks and placed them on the table. She then turned to the entrance and with an annoyed tone, Barb took a deep breath before screaming.

"Are you going to come in or what?!" Barb cried out impatiently.

Tilting my head at the scolding, I felt my heart race as Celestia entered the room with a thin package in hand. It had been months since I last saw her. Most of our conversations occur through Barb's fire mail nowadays. I'm pretty sure Barb called her in since I mentioned our lack of face-to-face meetings while I was in a bit of a downer moment. Needless to say, My self-control began to diminish with every step she took toward us. My gaze fell to the floor.

"Hello, Dusk," Celestia said with a soft voice while I felt like something bad was about to happen. "I see you're doing well."

I didn't respond. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. Not knowing what I did to make her angry at me, there was nothing I could do that couldn't make things worse. Therefore, my best reply to her was a nod.

"I want to ask you something. Would you look at me, please?" Celestia said when I felt a small hand on my back. Glancing to the side, I saw Barb putting on a soft smile and nodding to me.

Raising my head, our eyes met. I felt the awe and entrancing effects of her magenta eyes. But, I also felt dread. Her smile filled me with a bittersweet feeling. I was happy that she was there, but I also was terrified. Everything I did up to this point, was to help everyone. And, to make her happy. I am well aware that Celestia is lonely. That she is waiting for her sister to return. But, I don't know how to put this, fuck it, I want to help her feel less lonely. Maybe help her feel at ease.

"It's good to look you in the eyes, my dear student. Tell me, do you know what your teachers tell me?" Celestia inquired while taking a seat in front of me. I could see my family and Cadance looking back and forth between us. I shook my head. "I'm told, that they can't keep up with you. That they don't have anything to teach you. Because you already covered all of the subjects in our program. And that means you are wasting your time there. I do not wish to see your time wasted. Therefore, I have gone through the table of teachers, and I got permission for this."

Celestia then handed me the package. The present was carefully wrapped with green paper. There was also a red ribbon on the edge of its square shape. After hearing her explanation of my situation, I shivered in place while holding the present. It looked like a frame. My blood ran cold at the idea that had just popped into my mind. I couldn't believe it. Glancing up, I saw Celestia nodding to me.

With my hands trembling, I tore the paper hesitantly. Within it, I saw a frame containing a piece of paper with Celestia's signet on it. Written in bold capital letters, I saw the message that filled me with dread. My eyes widened while scanning the present as my voice finally decided to manifest.

"Graduated with honors, Dusk Shine. A certificated mage and tutor in magic, you have received the title of Grand Master," I muttered with a shaky voice.

My family started crying while hugging each other in their spots. I also had my eyes drenched in tears. However, unlike their joyful tears, my tears were filled with a bitter taste. While honored with the idea of Celestia granting me that certificate, I knew the other implications of those words. My heart ached. I was ready to let out a scream. However, what came forth was something else.

"Princess, why?" I said in a low voice as I locked eyes with her again.

"You've worked so hard through all these years, why shouldn't I reward you?" Celestia said with a strange look on her face. I couldn't tell what it meant, but there was a hint of poison in there.

"No, that's not, why are you pushing me away?" I inquired while crushing the green paper in my hands. Celestia didn't respond. But her eyes darted away for a second. "Do you think I don't understand what this means? This means I no longer need your tutelage. This means that I am no longer your private student."

Silence. A dreadful and mortifying silence reigned in the room. I felt my head acting up. A ringing sound hammered in my skull as I felt a voice screaming that I shouldn't have trusted her. That had she left me. I started tapping my hooves on the floor. Celestia stared back at me with a neutral expression. Tears rolled down my face as I got up slamming my hands on the table.

"Princess, tell me what I did wrong," I said in a low growl as the room seemed to get warmer. There was no response. "Princess, WHAT DID I DO!?" I screamed while clenching my fists. Celestia's facade seemed to be breaking. However, still no response. "What was it?! Was it the experiments with mixing spells?! Was it that stupid popularity pool!? Was it the fucking talent show?! Was it my lack of friends?! I'm working on it! I swear I'm trying! But this place is horrible for my health! I feel like ponies are monitoring every move I make! I know it's irrational! But, I swear, I swear to you. I'm doing everything I can! Please, Just let me know what I did wrong! I'll fix it. Just, don't leave me..."

At this point I had my eye fixed on the table as my head hung low. My arms slowly crumbled along with my legs as I got on my knees. I just stood there sobbing in a mess of tears and rapid breaths. Suddenly, I heard Celestia stand up.

"You didn't do anything wrong. And that's exactly the point!" Celestia hollered before I heard her walking away. The last thing I heard for quite a while was the sound of the front door getting slammed and the sound of glass shattering.

My surroundings turned into a blurry mess. I got up and smashed the frame on the ground before rushing off and locking myself in my room. The emotional distress from the situation caused me to collapse on my bed without delay. I slept curled up in a corner while hugging my pillow. I forgot about the whole reason I had prepared the warding spells and why I had dubbed that day "Doomsday."

That night, I woke up to the sound of something unlocking. I didn't react to it. I was too tired to move, let alone open my eyes. I heard steps getting closer to me. I continued in my curled-up form in the corner. The steps grew quiet right behind me. It didn't take long before I felt a little pair of claws clutching around me. Unless Chrysalis turned herself into a child, the one behind me was Barb.

We didn't share a word. We simply lay there all night close together. I drifted away at some point, and when I woke up, Barb was still behind me, and I was facing the wall. There was a scent of food being cooked. Since mother was around last night, there was a chance she stayed home after my outburst. But I won't deny it, there was the second option, which would be that Chrysalis managed to get inside and was doing something in the kitchen as well. The third option was Barb being a fake one, but that was hard to believe since Chrysalis seemed to accidentally drop her disguise the last time she was near me.

Gently freeing myself from Barb's grasp, I managed to sneak away from the room without waking her up. I found the newspaper resting by the front door, I got it and checked the front page. When I read the news, I felt something snap inside me.

Plastered on the front page, was a picture of a young unicorn mare with a book in her hands, and in capital letters a name I thought I would never see in this world.

Twilight Sparkle, Local Librarian of Ponyville, has found an Ancient book hidden in Golden Oak Library!

"Who the hell is Dusk Shine then?" I mumbled to myself as I dropped the newspaper on the floor.

It might be worth mentioning this, but there was an unconscious Changeling Queen by the bushes on the side of the door.

But that had little importance when compared to the question of who the hell was I in the grand scheme of things.

Author's Note

AHHHHHHHHH!

Here it comes! Another one!