Nightmare for Nightmare

by CodenameOne

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Nightmare Moon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 5606

Following Nightmare Moon's success over her puny sister and her toadies, the dark Princess is enjoying the fruits of her work. Or TRYING to, but this weird human keeps bothering her! And she ends every sentence with "poi." Kantai Collection/MLP.

It was everything Nightmare Moon had wanted. Eternal night, the fear and respect of her loyal subjects, a chance to show the world the true beauty of a midnight sky.

If only there wasn't this STUPID human incessantly pestering her. How's a Nightmare supposed to enjoy life when she's got this monkey on her back, where did it even come from, and what does "Poi" even MEAN?!

Kantai Collection/MLP. Kantai Collection(KanColle) is a Japanese browser game, with an anime adaptation, featuring characters, known as fleetgirls, named after and based off of IJN warships of the Second World War, along with characters based off ships from other nations and from the same time period.

Published 2020-01-27 17:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-20 21:00:32 UTC

AKA My Little Poi-ny

It was a dream come true for the Nightmare. Eternal night! She finally had the fear and adulation she deserved! Those useless Elements had done nothing to end her beautiful night, and now they were all locked away deep in some forgotten dungeon, along with Nightmare's sister. She was at last free to enjoy the benefits of the goal she'd spent so many centuries trying to achieve.

So now why was there this obnoxious human to meddle with the whole thing?!

"Moony-chan!! Ohayouuu-poi! Or, isn't it good night? Good night's kinda a good-bye though-poi" the human girl, Yuudachi as she called herself, yelled as she ran up to Nightmare. The night's avatar put a hoof to her temple, willing the creature to go away and yet...still she remained.

"It is always night, you insipid girl. There is no longer such a thing as 'morning'" Nightmare Moon said with a sigh.

"But it's, like, 6:00am-poi" Yuudachi replied. "Anyway, is Moony-sama, like, going to go eat breakfast-poi? Yuudachi-chan is starving-poi."

"Yes, of course I am going to have breakfast. No, I do not wish for you to join me. I hardly have the patience to deal with your vapidness before I've had my coffee."

"Huuuh?! But I'm like SUPER hungry-poi! PLEEAASE, Yuudachi-chan will, like, DIE if she doesn't eat-poi!!" Yuudachi yelled, falling to her knees and tugging on Nightmare's cobalt tunic. Nightmare Moon was half-tempted to send this foul thing away to her moon, but perhaps there would eventually be some use for her. She had appeared in the castle halls not long after Nightmare Moon had triumphed over her sister and had been a bother to the night Princess ever since, but there was always hope.

"Fine, you may accompany me to the dining hall, but there will not be a word more from your mouth until I've had my coffee, do you understand?" Nightmare asked, and Yuudachi nodded enthusiastically. She fell in beside Nightmare and together they proceeded down the winding halls of the palace, to the dining hall nearest to Nightmare's bedchambers.

At last, coffee! Nightmare thought, rushing into the dining hall as the rich scent of the roasting beans filled her senses. Several maids, who had been busy setting the table, scurried away as Nightmare Moon bursted into the room with her human shadow. "BRING FORWARD to me my cappucino AT ONCE!!"

The maids did as told, rushing back from the kitchen with several steaming pitchers and hastily filling several cups. Nightmare Moon immediately sucked down two cups, the inferno hardly enough to faze her. The fog of her night's sleep was wiped away as the rejuvenating beverage entered her system, and she sighed blissfully.

She was knocked from her caffeinated nirvana by the sounds of Yuudachi ravenously eating breakfast next to her, and Nightmare turned to look at the obnoxious girl. She was shocked to see that Yuudachi had already cleared a plate and was about to finish off another, overflowing with buttered toast, pancakes, Prench toast, waffles, a bowl of cereal, two cups of orange juice, just HOW DID THIS GIRL MANAGE TO EAT SO MUCH AND NOT GET FAT?!

Nightmare Moon was jealous.

"MUST you eat so loudly, woman? You are hardly chewing!" Nightmare said, and Yuudachi turned to look at her, the blonde girl's cheeks bulging.

"Fff-mmf Yuchi vus like s'per hun'ry phhoi."

"Eugh, do not speak with your mouth full! What is wrong with you?" Nightmare asked, and Yuudachi made a show of swallowing, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry-poi, but like I said Yuudachi was, like, SUPER hungry-poi, and Moony-chan's food is so good! Almost as good as Mamiya-san's food. I do, like, miss our spicy curry though-poi" Yuudachi said, and Nightmare Moon sighed.

"Why must I have been saddled with you so soon after my victory... Haven't you any other friends?" Nightmare asked, silently cursing herself for implying to Yuudachi that she was her friend.

"Huh? Yuudachi-chan has, like, tons of friends-poi. There's Fubuki-chan, Mutsuki-chan, Sendai-san, Naka-san, Shigure-chan, those cute girls in Destroyer Division Six, Kongou-sama and the other battleships are, like, super friendly, but Nagato-sama is super scary-poi. Some of the other girls are kinda scary, too. Ooi-chi always looks mad, and some of the foreign girls are really weird. Also I don't think Portland-san and Atlanta-san like me, but Akatsuki-chan says it was just a misunderstanding-poiiii*."

I regret asking. I regret everything!

"OK, OK, just... Why must you eat so much? I swear upon my constellations you've packed away four plates already!" Nightmare Moon exclaimed, and Yuudachi shrugged.

"I told you I was, like, super hungry... I don't eat that much-poi. The carriers and battleships eat, like, a TON! Akagi-sama and Kaga-sama can each eat like a HUGE MOUNTAIN of curry-poi" Yuudachi said, stretching her arms up. "And, like, Yamato-sama, she can eat like a whole TABLE of food-poi!"

"OK, tell me what kind of abilities do you have, besides incessantly annoying me at every waking minute."

"Huh, my abilities? Well, there's my quadruple Type 93 oxygen torpedo mounts. Those are, like, my main ability! Plus the Admiral says I've got, like, a SUPER-high evasion rating. My 5-inch turret mounts are only really good against, like, light surface ships, though, and my AA rating is like super low" Yuudachi explained.

What on Equestria is she even talking about?!

"You should've, like, seen me in action-poi! I'm only a destroyer but some of the other girls are always like 'wow Yuudachi-chan, you're like super fearless and courageous', but all that praise just kinda, like, makes me feel all embarassed and stuff. I'm just Yuudachi-chan-poi. Maybe that's why they all call me the Nightmare of the Solomons, though, since there was this one time that I, like, charged into the enemy lines and knocked out like a whole cruiser-poi! Too bad it didn't sink, though."

She never STOPS SPEAK-- Wait, what did she just say?

"Did you say, 'Nightmare'?" Nightmare Moon asked, and Yuudachi looked at her.

"Huh? Oh yeah, it's kinda like your name, huh? Nightmare Moon, Nightmare of the Solomons. We're, like, Nightmare and Nightmare-poi!" Yuudachi exclaimed, and launched herself forward to hug Nightmare Moon. "It's, like, 'grr, look out bad guys, Nightmare and Nightmare are gonna kick your butts-poi."

No. NO. I cannot be associated with this...thing! She's, she's weird! She talks weird and she's HUGGING ME, no less!! She... She smells nice, though, and she's kinda fun. Oh what am I even THINKING, if I look like I'm even vaguely enjoying her company I'll become the laughing stock of my whole kingdom! I won't be feared and respected! I'll be, like, adored and loved! NOTHING could be more horrible!

"Pfft, Nightmare and Night-- Oh my gosh, Nightmare and Nightmare, that's rich" Nightmare Moon said. Yuudachi released her and smiled, folding her hands in her lap. "Well, now that I've satisfied my desire for coffee, and you've sated your tremendous appetite, I feel as though now it is time for me to begin the day's duties. If you'll excuse me, I must head to court and allow my subjects to grovel at my hooves as they attempt to curry my favor. You are welcome, with my blessing, to do as you like until I have finished. Perhaps, then... We shall spend more time together, and you can regale me with your tales." What am I even saying?! I can't be this girl's friend! The Nightmare doesn't need FRIENDS!!

Yuudachi practically beamed, and she attempted to crush Nightmare Moon in a hug once more. "Yay! Yuudachi-chan is, like, SUPER happy-poi! You're a great friend, Moony-chan-poiii!!"

Moony-chan... I can get used to that.

As she prepared to leave, Nightmare Moon realized that being adored and loved, at least by such a good friend as Yuudachi, wouldn't be so bad.

Author's Note

So this idea just kinda hit me this morning, and I felt that I HAD to write it. Being that I'm such a fan of both Kantai Collection and MLP I thought this'd be really fun, and it totally was. I might even write some more chapters, and kinda make this a collection of one-shot style chapters showing Yuudachi and Nightmare Moon and their day-to-day shenanigans. Dunno if I'll involve any of the other fleetgirls, though. Hope you enjoyed this!

*USS Atlanta and USS Portland were responsible for the sinking of IJN Yuudachi on the night of Nov 13, 1942.

P.O.I

Another chapter, because I said so.

"MOONY-CHAN-POOOII!!"

Sweet moon, not again. It was hardly noon and Yuudachi had come to bother Nightmare Moon again. The two had become something closer to 'friends'(though Yuudachi was more open to it than Nightmare was) but it seemed to the night's avatar that the human girl truly had nothing better to do than pester her.

"Must you always yell? And what is it that you're even wearing?" Nightmare asked, looking at Yuudachi. She understood the black sailor tunic and matching skirt, but not much else. What was the point of the gold clasps on her hair? Or the clasps on her collar?

"Huh? It's, like, my outfit-poi" Yuudachi said. "The uniform gives us our protection, and the boots are, like, to help us float. Everything else we put on ourselves to, like, express ourselves-poi. Like, when I've got my rigging on, I wear a big wind-sail-poi."

"A wind-sail on your back? How do you even explain that?" Nightmare said, and Yuudachi shrugged.

"The admiral says it's, like, for morale reasons. To inspire the other girls to, like, do their best-poi!*"

The poi's... "Is this all that you wear?"

Yuudachi blushed. "Huh? I, like, wear underwear too..."

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!!" Nightmare yelled, waving her hooves. "I meant apart from this sailor getup, do you often wear anything else?"

"Oh, um, there's, like, my pajamas and my swimsuit, and last Halloween I, like, dressed up as a wolf! Grr-poi!" Yuudachi said, and made a show of raising her hands as if they had claws. "But this is, like, all I was wearing when I showed up here-poi."

Oh, that's a great point, too. I'd LOVE to know how I had the misfortune of having this creature suddenly arrive in my kingdom. "Do you even know how you got here? It seems to me as though you just...appeared in my castle, and now I'm apparently meant to just deal with this fact."

Yuudachi shrugged. "I don't know. I remember talking to Fubuki-chan about how weird Naka-chan is, and how Naka wanted to see me for something. Then, when I went to go see her, there was like this HUGE flash of blinding light, and then next thing I knew I was, like, here in this castle-poi."

"Please, please, explain to me what these 'poi's mean. You say them so incessantly!" Nightmare declared, exasperated already with the human girl's antics. Sweet moon, take me back! I'd have never escaped had I known this is what would've become of me!

"Huh? Poi is, like, poi. Poi-poi...**" Yuudachi said, and Nightmare threw her hooves out.

"I've heard enough! Let us talk no more, instead we shall find something for you to occupy yourself with! What is it that you enjoy doing? I'm sure we can find SOMETHING in my kingdom to distract you. Books? Jousting? Fencing? Knitting?! Anything!" Nightmare Moon yelled.

Yuudachi put a finger to her chin and looked up. "Hmm, I like to read. There was like this manga that Kongou-sama wanted me to read, once. She was, like, in it! I guess it was some kinda romance thing-poi, between her and the admiral. I dunno, it was kinda weird. Her sister Kirishima-sama wrote it-poi."

That's it. Books. Surely I can find something for her. "Come with me to the library, at once! We shall find things for you to read!"

"You're a ship! Err, girl. Shipgirl? Whatever, you like boats, yes? Here is this tome on naval doctrine. You may find it rather titillating" Nightmare Moon said, thrusting the book against Yuudachi's chest. The girl took it and flipped through it, her eyes scanning a few random pages as she went.

"You guys, like, don't use any torpedoes-poi? Or turrets? Where do you keep your AA radars?" Yuudachi said, keeping her eyes on the pages.

"What in the name of my stars is a ray-darr?" Nightmare asked. "I have turrets on the castle walls, but they are for archers. Torpedoes are a manner of sandwich, as well; I don't see how they could possibly be related to naval warfare."

"Huh? Torpedoes are, like, a missile that goes into the water. It, like, blows a hole into a ship's hull to sink it-poi!"

That's...clever, as a matter of fact Nightmare Moon thought. "Interesting. Perhaps you could teach me about this device; we may have use for it."

Yuudachi put a finger to her chin and looked up, apparently in thought. "Well they, like, used compressed air, usually, but ours use oxygen. Fubuki-chan is, like, really smart and explained to us all in class one day what makes our torpedoes so awesome! She was like 'the oxygen dissolves quickly in water, and leaves like almost no bubbles in its wake, making it like super stealthy-poi.' Well, she didn't, like, say poi, poi. That's what I said."

"Compressed air inside of a waterborne missile. Quite clever indeed. Is there perhaps anything else you'd like to peruse while we are here in the library? I'm sure we can find plenty to keep you occupied" Nightmare asked.

"Do you have any, like, manga-poi!?" Yuudachi said, her eyes full of stars(or so it seemed to Nightmare, anyway). She took a step back and grimaced, unsure of what it is she meant.

"We have comics, I'm sure, but I do not keep that tripe here in the royal library. We would have to take a trip to one of the peasant villages to find such a thing."

Yuudachi put her hands together and bounced in place. "We could go on like a roadtrip-poi! Or you could, like, FLY us there!"

"I am not going to let you ride me as I fly, ever. That would be degrading and frankly ridiculous; you are surely heavier than you look, with all that you eat" Nightmare said, and Yuudachi pouted.

"Are you saying I'm, like, fat? Moony-chan is so mean-poi" Yuudachi said with hands on her cheeks. Nightmare sighed and rubbed a hoof against her head, and wished she could better reach this bizarre woman.

"I am sure that you are a perfectly healthy weight for a member of your species. Now, if there is nothing else, would you like to leave now?" she asked, and Yuudachi nodded and pepped back up. They took a moment to check the book out with the librarian(who hurriedly stamped an 'indefinite loan' on the book's logcard) before they ventured back out into the castle's halls.

"Well, now that you have something to entertain yourself with, I trust that you shan't be bored while I attend to the day's duties? I assure you they'll be brief--mostly cackling in glee at the despair and suffering of my subjects--so once that has finished we shall be free to spend the evening together" Nightmare said.

Yuudachi nodded. "Sure thing-poi. By then it'll probably be time for dinner, which I can't wait for! I'll see you later, Moony-chan-poooii" she yelled, and hugged Nightmare Moon tightly. The Nightmare was about to hesitantly return the embrace when Yuudachi released her and ran off, her hair and skirt fluttering as she went. Nightmare smiled warmly and trotted off towards the throne room, looking forward not so much to holding court, but rather to spending more time with the eccentric shipgirl.

Author's Note

*On the night of Nov 13, 1942, IJN Yuudachi suffered severe damage to her engine room(among other places and systems) and the captain ordered that sails be raised, to show his sailors that they would fight to their last, even without mobility, and to inspire them to give everything they had. This is reflected on KC's Yuudachi character model when she undergoes a remodel in-game.

**In Japanese, poi is a comparative article equivalent to saying "I guess" or "seems like" at the end of a sentence, if the speaker is unsure of what they're saying(i.e, speculating or guessing at something). KC's Yuudachi was given this verbal tic to represent the uncertain nature of IJN Yuudachi's actions the night of Nov 13, 1942, as the battle was so hectic and frenetic that no one, even those who survived, is sure of what she did, or much else that happened during the battle.

Pony of Interest

Author's Note

Whaaat a new chapter this is so wacky waaggghh oh em geeeee-poooiiii

Pony of Interest

Where could she be now? I don't understand how she could be so loud yet simultaneously so stealthy Nightmare thought to herself as she wandered the halls of her castle. The lesser ponies that served her quickly scurried by as she neared them, their miserable faces down as they went. Normally Nightmare Moon would take great delight in seeing her subjects so afraid of her, but right now all she could think of was where to find Yuudachi.

She was not in the dining hall, nor the library. Perhaps she has fallen off the castle balconies to her death, but surely I'd have already heard the news from one of my subjects.

With a quiet exhale through her nose Nightmare turned and headed for her private chambers, thinking that Yuudachi might be there. The human woman had become quite close to Nightmare, it was certainly within her character to just barge into Nightmare's room unannounced and just...stay there.

It was not a far trot to the stairs that would take her up to her chambers, the halls clearly marked along the way. In keeping with Nightmare's personal style her private chambers were built at the top of a tower, the tallest in the castle to remind her subjects just who was above them all. Naturally, Nightmare would never actually trot up these stairs, so instead she elected to hover just above them and ascend using her wings.

After just a few minutes she reached the top of the steps, where a short hall lead to the large doors that sealed her chambers away from the lessers. She had no need for guards, so nothing was in her way from pushing the doors open and stepping in. To her surprise, the darkly-decorated room was empty, though the glass door to the outside balcony was ajar.

Perhaps the bathroom?

Turning to her left Nightmare approached the door leading to her bathroom and pushed it open, and sure enough Yuudachi was there, standing before the full-length mirror kept in the corner. She hadn't heard Nightmare come in, and the mirror did not reflect the door, so Nightmare was free to stand and watch as the human girl stood in front of the mirror. She was clad only in her underwear, and taking various poses as she inspected herself.

Just what in the name of my stars is she doing... Nightmare thought. She'd never seen another of Yuudachi's species before, but as far as she could tell the long-haired blonde was perfectly healthy. Her skin was clean and clear of any blemishes or scars, her figure was trim but subtly strong, and she boasted a pair of modestly-sized orbs on her chest that she claimed were bigger than that of her friends and were functionally identical to a mare's teats(though how this could be was beyond Nightmare's knowledge).

Yuudachi turned around her inspect her backside in the mirror and somehow failed to notice the night's avatar, so Nightmare made her presence known by clearing her throat and stepping forward. "What are you doing?"

"Moony-chan, am I, like, getting fat!?" Yuudachi exclaimed as she turned back to face Nightmare, her arms at her sides and up in a L-shape, her hands balled into fists.

Nightmare rolled her eyes. "Certainly not, as far as I can tell, but with how much you eat it would not be a surprise to me."

"Waaahh, Moony-chan, I'm getting totally fat-poooii" Yuudachi whined, and Nightmare put a hoof to her head. "I like don't even eat as much as the carriers, how am I getting faaatt!!"

"What has possibly made you think that you are getting fat? Your figure is completely unchanged from when I first met you" Nightmare asked, and Yuudachi stood up straighter. She pushed her stomach out and looked over her shoulder at her backside.

"Well, like, when I got out of the bath a while ago I tried to put my skirt on, and it like wouldn't go on! Then I tried to put on my shirt and it was, like, tighter than normal-poi! I think all those, like, special cakes are going straight to my butt!" Yuudachi explained.

"You've been eating my special cakes?" Nightmare asked, and Yuudachi laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Yuudachi-chan may have, like, had a few-poi."

Nightmare Moon sighed. "Fine, so perhaps the cakes have gone to your backside. How would this explain why your shirt was tighter than usual?"

Yuudachi put a finger to her chin. "Well, I guess it like totally wouldn't, but maybe my breasts have, like, gotten bigger! I felt them up to see, though, and they seemed fine-poi" Yuudachi said, and placed her hands on her chest orbs.

This is ridiculous Nightmare thought. "Have you tried getting dressed since then? Perhaps your body was still wet from the bath, making your clothes cling to you."

"You think so-poi? I'm gonna try, then!" Yuudachi said, and walked towards Nightmare, who stepped back out of the bathroom to allow Yuudachi to pass. She watched as the human girl strode over to a dresser and pick her outfit up off it. She pulled the shirt over her head and draped the ribbon she wore over it around her back. Next she pulled her skirt on, keeping her shirt tucked into the waistband, and tightened the hidden zipper amidst its pleats. She took a moment to adjust the fit before looking herself over. "Huh, I guess you were right, Moony-chan!"

"Sweet mother it's a wonder you can survive on your own."

"Well now that I'm dressed do you wanna, like, hang out? The night sky is so beautiful here!" Yuudachi said, and rushed off towards the open balcony door. Nightmare often heard her subjects eagerly declare her night sky to be beautiful, but it was different hearing it from her human friend.

She really is my 'friend' now, isn't she? Stars preserve me.

Nightmare Moon joined Yuudachi out on the balcony, the tall woman leaning forward on the balcony railing, gazing up at the sky. "It's, like, always night time, right? That's what you, like, told me anyway-poi" Yuudachi said, and Nightmare nodded.

"The whole world once scorned my night, so I made my night last forever! They would work and play and frolic in the day, and at night they would lock themselves away in their homes and light candles. If you ever need money, my vapid human compatriot, invest in candle stocks. They only ever go up!" Nightmare said with a laugh.

"Why would you, like, want it to be night all the time, though? Too much of a good thing is, like, not good-poi" Yuudachi said, and Nightmare rolled her eyes.

"Nonsense, Yuudachi! I merely offered my subjects a new perspective on life. They quickly came to appreciate the beauty of my stars, and they are beautiful, are they not?"

Yuudachi seemed to think about it for a moment before she smiled and nodded. "You're, like, so smart, Moony-chan. Night time is so peaceful and quiet, and the stars are so pretty. Plus I'm, like, SUPER good at fighting at night-poi" Yuudachi bragged, and Nightmare allowed herself a small smile.

"I should think you would like to start night fighting again, if you're looking to burn off any extra weight you may have put on" Nightmare said, and Yuudachi pouted.

"Seeee? I AM getting fat, poooiii..." Yuudachi moped, and Nightmare laughed.

"Nonsense, nonsense. Come, I shall find you the royal physician, and he will make sure you are in good health. If not, then he will suffer" Nightmare uttered darkly, and Yuudachi paused to give her a hug.

"Moony-chan you are just, like, the best friend ever-poi! After we see the doc do you wanna read together?" Yuudachi asked, and Nightmare smiled.

"Oh yes, I rather enjoyed our last reading session. I'll be sure to make the pillows extra fluffy, just as you like them."

Yuudachi practically beamed and the two women fell into a comfortable silence, together side-by-side as they walked the halls of the Nightmare's castle. She was a long way from admitting it, but Nightmare had finally come to accept the human destroyer girl as a dear friend. Perhaps the only one she would ever have, but a dear friend nonetheless.

And if anypony ever laid a hoof on her? A moon banishment would be too light a punishment.

Birthday Boy? More Like Birthday Poi

Author's Note

Wow, congratulations! You've earned another chapter-poi!

Birthday Boy? More Like Birthday Poi

"Yuudachi."

"Yuu-dah-chee."

"No tomoda."

"No toe-moe-dah."

"Chidesu."

"Chee-des-oo."

"Now say it all normally-poi."

"Yuudachi no tomodachidesu."

Nightmare Moon was suddenly the victim of a surprise hug as Yuudachi threw her arms around her, nearly(as always) crushing her with her surprise strength. "I know you are, Moony-chan!"

"What....." Nightmare Moon wheezed. "Did....I....say...."

"You said 'I am Yuudachi's friend'-poi. I, like, already knew that, so you didn't need to tell me!"

Nightmare Moon scowled, though it wasn't quite as menacing as she thought, given her cheeks were bulged out by Yuudachi squeezing her to death. "You...tricked...me."

Yuudachi released her and Nightmare nearly collapsed, desperately sucking in breath. When she regained her composure she looked up at Yuudachi, who was just smiling. "Well, yeah, but you, like, really are my friend-poi!"

Nightmare Moon brushed herself off. "Yes, well, saying it and believing it are quite different from each other. Does it even count as an admission if I make it in a language I don't speak?" she asked.

"Of course-poi!"

Nightmare Moon sighed and lied down on her special cushion, the dark blue one with her cutie mark on it. It was not the same as her SUPER special cushion, because that one had lace and tassels, but only Yuudachi was allowed to see that one. Yuudachi sat as well, on her own special cushion. Nightmare Moon hadn't wanted Yuudachi to know she'd commissioned the Royal Artist to make it, or that she'd thrown him in a dungeon when he had put Yuudachi's kanji in the wrong order(Dachiyuu? Seriously? Doesn't have nearly the same ring as Zekamashi), but when one only has one pony friend it's not hard to figure out who's getting them birthday gifts.

"Thank you again for the gift, Moony-chan! This cushion is, like, super cute!" Yuudachi said. Nightmare'd had to ask Yuudachi how to spell her name in kanji(and katakana. And hiragana... And romaji, though that was easiest), and then there was that mishap when the Royal Artist put the characters in the wrong order, but in the end Nightmare Moon had been satisfied with the end result. Especially since Yuudachi seemed to love it.

"You haven't even seen the other side, though" Nightmare said, and Yuudachi stood. She flipped the cushion, and stitch art of both her and her namesake were side-by-side at the bottom of the cushion, beneath 'Nightmare of the Solomons-poi' stitched in both Equestrian and Japanese. Nightmare swore to herself she saw stars in Yuudachi's eyes when she saw that side.

"It's, like, super cool-poi! I love it!" Yuudachi said. She set the cushion back down with the side that had her name on it facing up and sat back down. She beamed at Nightmare Moon, who scoffed and looked away.

"It was nothing. I didn't even make it. The artist is in the dungeon, so if there's anything wrong with it let me know and I'll send him to the moon" Nightmare said, and Yuudachi laughed.

"And I'll, like, blast him with my torpedoes before you do-poi."

Nightmare smiled and looked back at her eccentric human friend. "That would be a delight to see, I'm sure."

"Will there be, like, any cake? Yuudachi would love to have some cake-poi" Yuudachi said, and Nightmare rolled her eyes.

"It was only seven months ago you swore to me that you were gaining weight, and I had to assure you that no such thing was happening. Really, I have never once seen you gain or lose a single pound in the almost two years I have known you. So, if you would like some cake, then do not be alarmed, there will be some shortly, I just don't want to hear the word 'fat' at any point after you eat it" Nightmare said.

Yuudachi smiled again, and Nightmare let herself smile as well. "Thank you, Moony-chan, I'm like super glad you're my friend! It was kinda scary at first, being by myself in a new place, but you've, like, really helped me fit in-poi!"

"Is it really 'fitting in' when my little ponies are so afraid of you, both because you're by my side at all times, and because they know you as the Nightmare of the Solomons?" Nightmare asked with a grin, and Yuudachi nodded.

"Of course! They know that if they make me mad then, like, they'll have to face me and you!" Yuudachi said with a toothy grin of her own. "Getting sent to the moon has to be, like, SUUUUPER boring, especially if you were blasted there by a set of five 12.7-centimeter naval cannons!"

Nightmare laughed and slowly stood. She offered Yuudachi a hoof, which she took, and helped the other woman to her feet. "Come my pugnacious human friend. We will find your birthday cake, and if that is not satisfactory, then the Royal Baker shall join the Royal Artist in the dungeon!"

"That, like, sounds like a plan!" Yuudachi said. Together the two of them made their way down from Nightmare's private chambers, through the halls of her marvelous Midnight Castle, to the royal dining halls. They pushed open the doors to the dining hall, and the few ponies entrusted to keep it clean quickly scurried away.

"FIND the Royal Chef, Miss Yuudachi has NEED of her birthday cake!" Nightmare shouted, and just a few moments later the Royal Chef pushed out a cart with a large silver platter on it, covered by an equally silver lid of a modest height and length. He backed away, comically sweating, as Nightmare took hold of the lid and pulled it off to reveal Yuudachi's cake.

Nightmare Moon, for all of her sophistication and appreciation for grandeur, had to admit that this cake was just a little outrageous. She wasn't sure the Royal Chef would be able to pull it off, which was a shame, because if he hadn't, then replacing him would've been a challenge. Much to Nightmare's secret delight, however, he HAD pulled it off, and Nightmare Moon was a little impressed.

She turned to Yuudachi, and if she was impressed, then Yuudachi was absolutely amazed. The stars had returned to her eyes, and she simply stared at the cake. "I...can't believe it... Poi."

Nightmare smiled and turned her head. "Yes, well, it was nothing. I didn't even make it."

Adorning the silver platter, running nearly its entire length, was Yuudachi's namesake. And, according to Yuudachi's description(and reaction), it was 1000% accurate. Red, running along the underside of the hull, and a cool grey color above. Orange frosting took the place of her wooden decks, the masts rising above the bridge culminating in a black-and-white candle. Hard candies adorned the side of the hull, representing the portholes. Two lollipops took the place of the IJN Yuudachi's smokestacks, and her lifeboats were hoof-carved chocolates. Her name was proudly written in white frosting; Japanese on one side, Equestrian on the other. It really was a marvel of craftsmanship.

Nightmare turned back to Yuudachi, who had tears running out of her eyes. Nightmare's blood turned cold(well, colder), and she was about to turn the Royal Chef into a cake when Yuudachi turned to face her and smiled through her tears.

"M-moony-chan... It's so b-- be-- beautifuuuuhuhuhuuuullll!" Yuudachi sobbed, and wrapped Nightmare Moon in another hug. She fixed the Royal Chef with a chilling glare, and he nearly fell over himself scurrying away, before Nightmare Moon returned the hug. "I l-loooohohohooove you, Moony-chaaaan!"

If it were anyone else, Nightmare Moon would be disgusted. As it was, she was as happy as she could be. She let Yuudachi get it all out of her system, and after a few minutes Yuudachi pulled away. Nightmare offered her a handkerchief, which Yuudachi used to wipe her cheeks off and blow her nose(friend or not, there was no way Nightmare was taking that handkerchief back.)

"I'm quite glad you like your birthday cake. It's so marvelous that it seems almost criminal to eat it, but I'm guessing you don't have the same reservations?"

Yuudachi giggled and grinned, and she picked up one of the forks while Nightmare reached for one of the knives. The two of them turned their gaze to the destroyer cake, and licked their lips. "Nope. Poi."

Nightmare's grin turned toothy and sinister. "Me either."

Despite Nightmare Moon's earlier claim, Yuudachi did gain some weight that night.