Of Rain, Rivers and Running
The Package
Celestia was in her study, as she usually was on mornings such as this. Canterlot was being pelted by unfathomable amounts of rain. She regretted allowing so much water to run through the city, "We don't even plant any crops," she had said to the head of the Canterlot weather team.
"Rules are rules," He'd replied, "Set by yourself, in fact, to express the equality of every pony in Equestria," the pony drew out a notebook, coughed to clear his throat, and began to read, "Let it be known, that all Equestrian Villages, Towns and Cities and their surrounding areas, should have, at the very least 1080mm of rain each year, more if it is required, as signed by both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna and approved by the Equestrian council," he finished, closing over his notebook, "Written by your own hoof, Princess... Or... Horn... Whatever you use to write."
"Ah, yes, I remember" she replied, unsuccessfully trying to remember, "But what I don't understand is why, In Canterlot, the rain all falls in one week?"
The pony had merely opened the notebook again, "I, Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestira and protector of these lands, hereby state, that all rainfall in the royal seat of Canterlot, must fall within a confined time period of one week, of the weather teams choosing," The stallion closed the notebook, looked back up at the princess and smiled.
"Ok," said the Princess rubbing her forehead with a hoof, "But why this week?" She asked, exasperated.
The weather pony gave the Princess a quizzical look, "If we don't do it now, we can't bring in the snow for Hearth's Warming Eve."
"And why on earth did you leave it this late?" the Princess demanded.
"You wouldn't let us do it any time sooner," The weather pony complained, his department had indeed been pushing Celestia for her royal permission for the past 5 months, whom had been reluctant to allow it, rain always put her in a bad mood.
"In retrospect this is the hubris of a series of incredibly short-sighted decisions," she sighed out the window, directing her comment to nopony particular.
The rain was still pelting at the windows when a thought crossed the princesses mind, she was nearly sure there was something she had to do.
A single terrifying concept crept into her head, a deep sense of dread filling her belly, the all important answer coming within her grasp...
BANG!
The door slammed open distracting Celestia from her thoughts. The building sense of dread melted away instantly as the solar princess saw, standing in the doorway, with a mischievous smile on her face, was none other than the Princess' own beloved sister, Princess Luna.
"Hey Tia," she said walking towards her, a magical aura containing the reason she had so rudely interrupted her elder sister, "this letter just arrived for you,"
Celestia cocked an eyebrow, fearing one of Luna's more elaborate pranks. They had always pranked each other of course, in the Old capital, now engulfed by the Everfree, the two had ceaselessly combated each other in a game of wit and trickery.
In her sisters absence, Celestia had found new ways to entertain herself, however upon her dearest sisters return, Luna had shown she was still rather adept one over on her sister at every turn. While Celestia had grown less skilled and lazy with her pranking, Luna had not lost any of her old vigour, and Celestia was beginning to regret ever letting her leave the moon.
"I'm not in the mood for any of your silly jokes," Celestia said sternly.
"Don't worry Tia," Luna replied dropping the scroll in front of her, a huge grin still plastered on her face, "I think this might just cheer you up."
Celestia tentatively picked it up. Luna had never really forgiven her for not informing her that the royal Canterlot voice was dead, she had been on constant vigilance ever since to avoid being horrifically pranked in return. The elder sister unrolled the parchment and scanned her eyes over its contents. "Wait," the older princess read over the letter once again, she looked up at her sister, her eyes narrowing, "So that's what you did with them!"
Luna's smile didn't leave her face, "I knew you'd be happy with the news," she said slyly, taking the letter from Celestia, "I'm sure you noticed the point about this being your last opportunity to pick them up? I'd say the shop was sick of keeping them for the past 1500 years."
Celestia stood up, her eyes filled with wrath, and said in a very quiet and threatening voice, almost a whisper, "where is the Mismatched Sox?"
Luna smiled, her eyes lit up, as if she had been waiting for this moment since she entered the room, "Remember Glognor?"
__________
The two Princesses trotted through the halls of Canterlot castle, heading towards the front door. "I swear Luna," Celestia spat, her voice dripping with venom, "1500 years, and a letter arrives telling me this whole time you left my personal belongings in a forgotten city, deep in the Everfree, in a bloody shop!"
"I'm just amazed they never sent you a letter before," Luna said, smiling that annoying smile Celestia had grown to hate.
Celestia found herself wondering if she could convince the kingdom that Luna had in fact turned back into Nightmare Moon. 'Best not to think about that.' She told herself.
The doors burst open as Celestia approached them, with all the rain pouring into the city, Celestia found that the entire of the Canterlot Gardens had been turned into a lake. The dread she had felt earlier came back full force. "When was the last time we cleaned the drains?" Celestia's voice broke with distress.
Luna turned to her sister, her smile faded, "I've been gone the past 1000 years Tia, I have no idea."
Silence fell between them, "Canterlot's flooded isn't it?" Celestia asked the guard at the nearby Door.
"Yes ma'am," he replied, clearly flustered to have been adressed by the princess herself, "or at least most of it," he finished weakly.
Celestia looked out at the rain pelting her beautiful city, "Not a chance," she said simply, slamming the door.
"Well what are you going to do then?" asked Luna, looking genuinely bewildered at Celestia's reaction.
"I am doing nothing," she replied curtly, "Well, I am, but that involves going back to my room and lying down in front of the fire to write a letter, whilst you sort out this huge mess."
Luna stood mouth agape, "But this is your fault!" she screamed.
"That may be, but you seem to have more than enough time on your hands to sort this out," Celestia turned her flank upon her sister, trotting briskly back to her room. She didn't look back once.
Once back in her room Celestia locked her door, lay down, took a piece of parchment and a quill from her desk, and began to write, My most faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle
__________
"I have urgent need of your assistance," Twilight Sparkle read, her study was brightly lit, books lay strewn about the foot of the bed. Spike lay in his tidy little crib, trying to get back to sleep after having a rude awakening at the hands of one of Princess Celestia's evil letters. "My most wondrous sister has informed me of a package that needs collecting from a city well within the depths of the Everfree Forest, with only one day to collect it and little opportunity to go myself, I could think of no-one better to carry out this task than you and your friends."
Twilight smiled to be so trusted by the princess, "Spike," she said, refusing him the sleep he so dearly wanted. "I need you to pack my things, me and the girls are going to the Everfree Forest."
Spike jumped out from under his covers, taken by a sudden onset of energy, "really Twilight?" He asked excitedly, "can I come this time?"
"No Spike," Twilight said simply, "you are a baby dragon, I can't take you somewhere as dangerous as the Everfree."
"But Twilight," Spike moaned, "Pip said I'd make a really good adventurer, he even gave me one of his swords," Spike pulled out the little wooden stick, shaped to look like a sword used by warriors of old, "I could protect you guys from all the dangerous things in the forest easy, I've been practising with it too, you know, Pip says I'm getting really good!"
"No Spike," Twilight was getting sick of all the story of adventure and heroes Pipsqueak was feeding Spike, Although rather proud of his new-found group of friends, and very proud of his new-found love of adventure novels. He had done nearly nothing but read 'Daring Do,' and 'The Adventures of Cap'n Fudgebeard,' for the past two weeks, but all his talk of adventure was getting on her nerves. "Now could you pack my saddle bags while I go and tell the girls?"
"Ok,,, I guess," said Spike dejectedly, turning to pull Twilights saddle bag out from the wardrobe.
"Thank you Spike, Won't be long," Twilight shouted, already halfway out the door.
__________
"The package that needs collecting is in Matching Sox, a shop inside the city of Glognor," Twilight read the remainder of the letter (cleverly left unfinished for this scene) walking up and down the line of five ponies she had called to help do the princess' task, luckily none of them had been busy today, as having only five of the mane six would probably have taken a lot away from the tale.
"To reach the city of Glognor you must pass by serpent river, from there go the same path to the old Capital until you reach a crossroad, follow the path left, it should lead you straight to the city. When you reach the city, you must speak the words 'focal faire,' when inside, it shouldn't be difficult to find your way to the shop, just ask the doorkeeper for directions."
"Any questions?" asked Twilight finishing the letter rolling it back up and placing it safely inside her saddlebag.
"jus' one," said Applejack stepping forward, "What exactly does the Princess want us ta' pick up from this shop?"
"Yeah," agreed Rainbow dash already in the air raring to go, "The letter left that bit out!"
Twilight pondered for a second taking the letter out and having another read of it. "It doesn't say anywhere," she concluded, "I'm sure it's important though, the princess must have great need of it!"
"I suppose," agreed Rarity, "Still, it would be delightful to know what the item in question was."
"The Princess wouldn't mind if we took an itty witty tincy tiny little look see. would she?!" Pinkie shouted, energetically jumping up and down on the spot.
"Oh we couldn't possibly do that," protested Fluttershy, in an unbearably adorable way that only she could achieve, "We can't invade the Princesses private affairs, no matter how curious we are!"
"Fluttershy's right," Twilight conceded, "We have no business interfering with the package, If the Princess needs it, it must be important!"
The other five ponies nodded their heads and raised their hooves in agreement, except Rainbow Dash, who decided she would have a peek at the soonest opportunity, but of course, you don't know that.
With that, the ponies were of, cantering slowly towards the Everfree to begin their newest quest.
Spike watched them go from the window as they moved slowly towards the Everfree, as soon as they were out of sight he grabbed the backpack he had picked up for himself, stuffed with food and equipment, grabbed his little wooden sword from the desk and ran out the door to follow the ponies in to the Everfree forest.
By the time he reached the outskirts the other six had travelled far into the forest, Spike having incredibly short legs as he did, however Spike, being unaware of this, I mean that the ponies were far ahead of him, not unaware of his short legs, set off to catch up with his friends, convinced that, by the time he caught up with them, they'd be so far in that no-one would dare send him back by himself, and none would be willing to turn back to bring him home, except maybe Fluttershy, but, again, five outta six, it just wouldn't work...
__________
The Everfree was big, which you already knew of course, however, I'm sure there's much you don't know about it. It is very probable that many of the secrets of the Everfree forest may remain unknown to us forever, but, we can at least pick up knowledge where it is given. For example, before now, have you ever even heard of a globin? Probably not, they keep mostly to themselves, they haven't interacted with pony-kind since the fall of the old Kingdom and the rise of Nightmare Moon.
Of course there is a pretty reasonable... Reason, for this. As, you see, Nightmare Moon, when beginning the massive revolt that plunged Equestria into chaos, (putting a very small number of ponies, ((enhanced with the power of shadow,)) against Celestia's huge armies levied from her massive fanbase,) burnt down half the city and killed countless globins during the burning of the Everfree plains, an event that has long been forgotten.
After this event and as the forest grew around the ruins and the globins rebuilt their city, for a fourth time, the ruling family of the time elected it would be rather detrimental to the continuation of their lives to interact with ponies any further, as such, globins are not allowed to leave the Everfree, or communicate with ponies in any way, under pain of death. It's worth noting that as the Everfree has expanded, and grown bigger, the globin kings definition of the border have not, so many choose to simply never leave the city.
However, the long bout of silence finally ended when one short fed-up shop-keeper had written and sent a letter by dragon flame to the royal seat of Equestria, Canterlot, to inform the princess of his unbearable fed-upness.
Stocaí had always wanted to be a baker, being born under the star for a baker meant, by the laws of the city, he should be. However, he couldn't shut down the Mismatched Sox until he had gotten rid of this last package, the one that had been hidden behind the counter for 1500 years. Around 500 years before the great fire IV, the younger Princesses had dropped the bag on the baker's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfathers head, relaying her orders and leaving as quickly as her wings could carry her.
He did do this with the risk of execution hanging over his head, and the head of the visitors, if the king happens to catch wind of the tourists, but when you've been stuck behind a counter for 12 years waiting angrily for a very late customer, little details like that tend to slip over ones head.
Stocaí's letter hadn't mentioned any impending execution however, it likely slipped his mind, so Twilight and her friends were marching heedlessly to their doom, blissfully unaware of the danger that awaited them at their journeys end.
As they travelled through the Everfree, along a path walked only once before, they came to a familiar river, and the creature that inhabited it. The locals, as in, Zecora and the Globins had taken to calling the serpent Steven Magnet.
This was not how he knew himself, of course, but as A`lum~n_kr_po*ntu¬¬s[IV] which was nearly impossible for anyone but him to pronounce*, It only suited to create a nickname of sorts for the creature.
*(If one was to try to pronounce it, it would likely sound something along the lines of A'lumnnnnnnnnunderslahkislessthaniisgreaterthanrunderslashpostarntuangryeyess the fourth, but, let's be honest, would you really bother to learn that?)
Some could argue the strange name was the result of a long line of random words the author typed, who then placed symbols at irregular intervals between them, a preposterous notion of course. The true reason he is named A`lum~n_kr_po*ntu¬¬s[IV], is because his parents were two sea serpents with a terrible sense of humour, and thought that giving their son a completely unpronounceable name would be cause of great amusement.
Steven Magnet would probably take offence to that sentiment however, as he was raised firmly believing he was named after the greatest King the Sea Serpents had ever known. Therefore, although he allows the name Steven Magnet to be used on casual occasions, he always maintains that if he is present at a formal gathering, he will only answer to his true name.
This is probably why he is never invited to any formal gatherings.
As the ponies approached, they found Steven Magnet in the middle of a dance routine, of his own invention, he liked to call the Swimming Serpent. This routine actually required two creatures, but as he was the only sea erpent for miles, and could not actually reach the ocean (a terrible fate for any sea based creature to suffer,) he was performing it alone... Somehow.
"Hello darling, ever so good to see you again!" Rarity approached the River bed, beaming.
The ponies had chosen her to approach the aquatic individual, as she was likely to be the only one he recognized. Or perhaps the remaining ponies were just too confused to move, as to the ignorant it probably looked as though the serpent was merely thrashing haphazardly about in the water for no particular reason.
Rarity, on the other hand, being the sophisticated young mare she was, knew that such a stylish and intelligent creature such as this could not possibly be doing anything so foolish. "It's wonderful to see your moustache has regrown!"
"Oh hello!" The serpent stopped his routine to greet the pony he so dearly remembered for her generosity, "It has been a while I must say, thank you for noticing, I'm glad to have it back, but, honestly, I nearly miss the moustache you so generously gave me," he said sadly, "It felt so stylish compared to my current one." The sea serpent sighed deeply, "Anyway," The sea serpent looked behind Rarity to the other ponies as to address them all at once, "I take it you wish to cross the river?"
"Yes actually," said Twilight Sparkle moving up to stand beside Rarity, we were wondering if you could make a bridge to allow me and my friends to cross." Twilight waved her hoof at the friends standing a bit back, still looking a little ill-at-ease around the incredibly odd serpent in front of them, except Pinkie, who nearly never looked ill-at-ease.
"Of course, of course, it's nothing at all," the sea serpent said, his hand gestures emphasising his point, "however, I would like to ask a favour first, if you will."
"Anything to help a friend," Twilight said smiling as Rarity nodded her head, pleasantly, "What is it you want?"
"Could you perhaps watch my performance?" The sea serpent smiled hopefully, his eyes moving from one pony to the next. "You may have seen me practising upon your arrival."
"Performance, was that what th-" Rainbow Dash found herself cut off by Applejack's hoof.
"We'd be honoured fer ya ta show us yer performance," she said still shocked at Rainbow's rather blunt approach to problems.
"I could just fly over, you know?" Rainbow Dash said huffing.
"Oh, oh, oh!" Pinkie Pie jumped forward, "was that the swimming serpent?" The little pink ball of energy stared up at Mr. Magnet with her big blue eyes, wide with excitement.
"Why, yes!" Steven Magnet looked taken aback at the knowledge from, what he deemed, an impossible source, "I invented that myself," he chuckled, "However did you know?"
"The narrator said not too long ago," she said, "and yes, he's painfully aware he's playing an old and half dead joke, just for a few cheap laughs, and yes, he is incredibly ashamed of himself."
Steven Magnet blinked once, then again, then opened his mouth, then closed it. "I see," he finally managed.
The rest of the ponies seemed unaffected by the sudden, and completely random outburst. "She says things like that all the time," said Twilight, "you learn eventually it's easier to block it all out."
"Easier?" The purple serpent looked nervous, he shook his head to rid himself of the discouraging thoughts that suddenly plagued his mind and gave Pinkie a look of incredulous distrust.
Fluttershy looked kindly at the serpent and said in her sweetest voice, "Would you like to show us your routine now Mr. Magnet?" They say Fluttershy is unaware of how adorable she actually is, I however, find this incredibly unlikely.
Steven Magnet nodded, seeing this as the perfect way to clear his head. "Of course, give me a second to prepare!"
Half an hour later the routine was ending, Rainbow Dash was trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle a huge fit of laughter, Applejack was asleep, Twilight Sparkle was doing her best to feign interest and Pinkie was playing with her tail. It seemed that only Rarity and Fluttershy showed genuine interest in the big finalé.
"That was excellent!" Fluttershy began softly applauding the serpent with her hooves.
"Yes, absolutely fabulous," agreed Rarity, something she had been doing a lot since the story began, agreeing that is, being absolutely fabulous too, of course.
Steven magnet performed a low bow, drinking in the attention like only a giant purple sea serpent with a stunning hair-do and fabulous moustache could do. "Thank you ever so much, It's so good to have such a loving audience for once!"
The two ponies smiled humbly, Rainbow kicked Applejack awake, "Huh wassat, is it over?"
The large serpent seemed not to notice, "now, if you'd like to take a trip on my back," he said smiling while he made an easy to cross bridge for the ponies. "I do hope you come again, it has been wondrous performing for you all!"
The ponies nodded, as they easily crossed the river thanking the large purple serpent for his assistance, except for Applejack, who was still having trouble waking up and slipped into the river on the way across.
"Don' any of ya say a word," she growled pulling herself out of the river. None of them did, but Rainbow Dash did start laughing uncontrollably, before being tossed head-first into the river herself. The young ponies all found something funny in this and soon the six were laughing uncontrollably on the river bed while Steven Magnet sat nearby.
"If you're disinclined to leave I would happily perform for you all again!" The serpent stood up, or rose up, he was in water after all, out of the water, eagerly beginning to prepare to dance.
"No, that's quite all right," Twilight said, a little too quickly, "we really should be going. We need to pick this delivery up by tonight."
"Oh," the sea serpent fell in the water a little, "well if you really must go."
"We do, but we'll be sure to visit you on our return home!" Twilight smiled, secretly hoping they might find a different route across the river.
"Oh that would be excellent!" The serpent threw his hands in the air with glee, "I'll learn the rapid dance just for you!"
"Wonderful!" Twilight said, as she and her friends continued on their way, her eyes saying the exact opposite opinion.
__________
"I've been wandering for ages," Spike complained to himself, "Where were they even headed?"
Spike had indeed been wandering for hours, and at this point he was definitely quite lost, and in quite a bit of danger.
There are many creatures in the woods that fear dragons, but of course there are those that do not even fear fully grown ones, examples of these would be, A pack of timber wolves, flesh-eating plants, manticores, giant bears, giant spiders, ursa majors and ursa minors, to name a few.
Ironically these are all the creatures that had nearly killed spike at several different intervals during his adventure.
With that said, it speaks volumes about Spike's adventurer spirit that he was continuing on despite the fact he must be perfectly aware he was going to die.
"I better find Twilight soon, It looks like it's going to rain," Spike said, conveniently out loud, probably to express his ignorance as to the danger he had irresponsibly placed himself in.
Now, obviously at this point I should make it rain, but, rain doesn't work like that in the Everfree, it comes when it wants and goes when it wants. It's not some writers toy to play with like putty.
It began to rain, "Oh c'mon!" Spike shouted, again at no-one in particular.
Spike grumbled and moved forward, trying to find some shelter before the rain... Wait... He has scales... Why on earth would that bother him?
I suppose he'd get cold? He's basically a lizard after all. Anyway, doesn't matter, because as I was contemplating the stupidity of a dragon, with absolutely no disadvantages to getting wet, trying to stay out of the rain, the small purple library assistant, or adventurer as I believe he would prefer to be called, had found a lovely cosy little cave to set up shop in and hopefully to dry of his absolutely soaking scales, which would obviously absorb water and be incredibly uncomfortable.
"Hello!" The dragon called out walking further into the cave "Hellooooooo"
"Hm," said Spike spotting something sparkle deeper in the cave, "What... is that?" he wondered aloud, moving in for a closer look.
"I'm getting a serious vibe of deja-vu here..." The dragon said slowly approaching the source of the glinting, he'd have drawn his wooden sword, but he lost that to a giant spider hours ago.
"GEMS!" The small purple dragons shouted turning round a corner, his eyes lighting up with glee.
"Gems..." he repeated, far less enthusiasm in his voice this time round. "Oh no..." Realisation dawned upon Spike, as he remembered precisely where he was.
As he turned, a spiky green hill rose up from behind the gem pile, "Hm, Whossair?" The huge shape yawned stretching and searching for the source of noise that entered his cave. The dragon set it's eyes on the small purple smudge breaking the perfect grey of the surrounding walls. The dragon's eyes narrowed as he attempted to make out the invader, "You..." he said, coming down on all fours.
"Horseapples" whispered spike, his voice hoarse from fear.
__________
Irwin was having a good day. The rock troll had eaten some rocks and spent the rest of the day thinking. Thinking is a remarkable skill few possess, and those without the gift would say that sitting around all day doing nothing but thinking sounded incredibly dull.
This may be true for them, however, for a rock troll, thinking is a strenuous task, one that must be exercised daily, lest they forget how to breath, for although these creatures are incredibly strong, they are also considered to be some of the stupidest sentient creature in all of Equestria.
In the writings of Star Swirl the Bearded, he, himself once stated, "Of all the mysteries I have encountered in this great world, none have baffled me more than the rock troll, how these creatures are even able to muster the brainpower to move, let alone talk, is astounding." Naturally this is before he lost a game of chess to one, the old man claimed to his deathbed it was sheer luck that had caused the loss of the game, however it is worthy to note, he never insulted a rock troll again.
Of course, all that is completely unimportant. What is important, is the group of six mares walking down the lane past Irwin's thinking spot.
It is considered incredibly dangerous to disturb a rock troll while he's in the middle of thinking. Not, of course, because they'll attack, but trying to talk to a creature as intelligent as your thumb is rather vexing.
Of course, someone disturbed him, lest I would have probably skipped this section of the journey, as I did with the timber wolves, or the fight scene with the dragon. But, let's face it, who wants to hear about some ponies kicking serious amounts of flank, when there is the much more interesting matters to write of, such as six ponies trying to talk to a rock.
Anyone that likes action novels I'd presume.
This, however, is not an action novel. So prepare to have your mind blown by the philosophical musings of a brick.
Irwin, deep in thought, barely noticed the six ponies walking past him, from the way they ignored him completely, it's obvious they saw the hulking grey beast as nothing more than a boulder.
Albeit an oddly shaped one, with a single eyebrow that protruded over something that looked strangely like a pair of blue eyes, a mouth lined with broken and cracked yellow teeth, shaggy blue hair that plastered the top of his hair like moss, a nose that covered about 40% of his face, legs as strong as an elephants, arms that were as thick as Big Macintosh and a torso that was built like a house.
Of course there were also the brown animal hide jacket and shorts, those could have also given something away, or the low grumbling that occasionally shook the surrounding earth and sounded strangely like a Hmmmmmmm.
Aside from this however, there was nothing really to signify that he was anything other than a large boulder.
Considering this, it was astonishing when Pinkie Pie hopped up to Irwin stared at him for half a second then smiled and shouted, "hey there, I'm Pinkie Pie, What's your name?!"
The rock troll looked up, astonished by the sudden appearance of six pastel coloured horses out of no-where. He was silent for a minute or two, the question that had been shouted at him slowly worming it's way through a few inches of fat into his brain and giving the small, crushed walnut a right old kick.
A smile formed in that goofy broken mouth of his as the troll finally registered his surroundings and proudly stated one of the two things he could remember in the entire world, "Irwin." The trolls booming voice carrying through half the forest and shaking the ground beneath the ponies feet.
Pinkie however, ever eager to meet a new friend, was not put off by the unbelievably loud voice or slow thinking speed and pressed on regardless, "Whatcha doin' here all alone?" The lovable pink ball of energy was hopping up and down uncontrollably as she waited the seemingly unending time it took for the troll to reply. The other ponies, at first curious of the talking boulder had since lost the patience to wait for a reply and has settled down for a bite to eat, all except Twilight, who was, unbeknownst to Irwin, examining the strange creature from top to bottom.
"Thinking," came the reply much later.
"Oh, what you thinking about? Parties? I love parties, sometime I like to throw parties for ponies I've just met, but, you're not a pony and I don't have my party stuff with me, except my party cannon of course, but I never leave home without it, so, it would be impossible for me to not, not, not have it!"
Of course the rock troll got very few words from this, thinking, throw and ponies among them, however, luckily for Pinkie, he'd forgotten what throwing meant, and was still joyfully unaware that the creatures in front of him were ponies.
Unsure of how to reply, he turned to the second thing he knew, a piece of knowledge so rare amongst his kind that the first time he recited it in his old village he was praised as the greatest thinker of his era, "I'm a rock troll," he said smiling stupidly.
Twilight nodded, "I thought so, though in all honesty, I've never seen one of your kind before, I certainly didn't expect you to be... so..." Twilight stopped trying to think of a word to describe the giant... er... giant.
"Big?" Asked Pinkie, "Bulky? Burly? Colossal? Copious? Enormous? Extensive? Funny? Gigantic? Grey? Heavyweight? Hefty? Huge? Hulking? Husky? Immense? Jumbo? Mammoth? Massive? Oversize? Packed? Ponderous? Prodigious? Roomy? Rotund? Sizeable? Spacious? Strapping? Strong? Substantial? Super colossal? Thundering, Tremendous? Vast? Wide-eyed?"
Twilight rolled her eyes.
Very little of this was able to penetrate the unending layers of fat to the trolls brain, that any of it did at all is actually quite surprising, as rock trolls are completely lacking ears, at any rate, what made it through made the troll smile, probably not because he understood it, but because it allowed him to remember what he was thinking about. "Wanna hear a riddle?" he asked the two ponies. Riddles and synonyms for big being one in the same for a rock troll
"Sure, what is it?" Pinkie replied happily.
"Knock, knock"
"Er... Who's there?" Pinkie responded, slightly confused.
"Aida."
"Aida who."
"Aida lot of rocks and now I've got tummy ache!" The huge beast stood up and roared with laughter.
Pinkie was rolling on the ground in a fit of giggles, finally, wiping a tear from her eye, she shouted, "That was hilarious!"
Irwin smiled knowingly, perfectly aware he was a comic genius.
"Er..." The purple librarian shuffled on her hooves awkwardly, "I'm not sure that wa-" Twilight caught herself, mid sentence, "never-mind," she finished
Irwin kept smiling his big goofy grin, "do the little creatures wanna hear what else I was thinking to?"
"Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Shouted Pinkie Pie, jumping up and down with glee.
Despite herself, Twilight found that she too was curious of the musings of a rock troll.
"I wondered what trees taste like." The simple beast pondered this for a second, before marching very slowly and deliberately to a tree, he grabbed the tree around it's trunk in a bear hug and tore it from the ground.
The sudden wrenching sound tore the four ponies, still having their lunch just off the track, out of their daydream, Fluttershy shrieked and hid behind Rainbow Dash just as the rainbow maned pegasus jumped up to defend herself. Applejack turned round and saw Irwin with the tree in his hand and laughed at the reaction of her friends.
Irwin looked hurt, "Is the little winged thingies all right?" he questioned Rarity, the pony sitting nearest to him, who herself had jumped at the loud sound and was currently trying to regain her composure.
"Hm, what?" Rarity looked across at the two pegasus' (or... pegasi, if you'd prefer,) and quickly nodded her head, "oh, yes..." The marshmallow pony cleared her throat, "Ahem, yes, you just frightened them a little is all," Rarity smiled at the grey mass of muscle, "It's nothing to worry about."
Irwin shrugged. "Whasis?" The troll stared at the tree in his hand, seemingly completely forgetting what it was, the thing was a little taller than him, but he carried it as if it weighed nothing, "Hm," he pondered, taking a huge bite out of the tree. "Tastes like trees" he concluded, throwing it to the side and sitting back down, sending a mini earthquake through the immediate vicinity.
Twilight, who was still in awe at the immense strength of the gargantuan troll, went over to Irwin and, against all better judgement, poked his thigh lightly with a hoof.
Now would be a good time to point out that rock trolls are not so named as they are made of rock, as ridiculous the notion that any living creature could be made purely from rock is, it is still commonly believed that this is the case. It is in fact the rock trolls diet from which it gets its name, a diet that consists almost exclusively of rock. Occasionally something else if they get curious enough.
Throughout the ages, trolls have been seen as vicious, evil creatures, when in truth there has never been a troll that intentionally injured a living creature. The reputation however carried on for centuries and during this time trolls were hunted by many sentient creature, Dragons, Griffins, Phoenix's and even ponies.
Although evolution can be a cruel mistress, in the case of the rock troll it was remarkably kind, rather than give it a larger brain so that it would be able to take up arms and go out into the world to reap vengeance, eventually growing incredibly depressed and likely killing itself, it simply gave it an incredibly strange, organic, metallic like skin that to protect it from hunters.
A rock trolls skin is, not only nearly impenetrable, but also very, very prone to gathering obscene amounts of magic energy.
Magical energy, as is the nature of magic, is a very strange substance, it cannot travel through a vacuum, is impervious to fire, has given many unicorns a strong sense of entitlement that is largely undeserved and, of course, seeks to escape from large, stupid and completely non-magical trolls.
On that note, it is wise to be aware that magical energy can only escape into magical objects, such as staves, wands, enchanted swords or small purple unicorns called Twilight Sparkle.
It would also be noteworthy to note that magic energy tends to be quite unpredictable. A large dose of Magical energy can prove to be, rather fatal.
Or more often than not, turn you into a small woodland creature.
Luckily, I'd never do that to Twilight, So the magical energy had... A rather different effect.
Twilight sat up with a start, "Girls..." she said, sounding quite flustered.
"Twilight! Are you all okay!?" Pinkie shouted, her and Rarity running to her side, "what happened Twilight?"
"There was this big flash and you just fell over," said Fluttershy, arriving with Rainbow and Applejack.
Twilight looked all around her, her small mouth curved upwards until she was wearing a smile as big as Pinkie's. "Girls, the forest... It's... like... really, really colourful..."
Rainbow cocked an eyebrow and giggled nervously, "Eh... Twilight? You feeling all right?"
"Yeah, I feel... Great..." the group exchanged nervous glances, "Hey... Rainbow... Your mane!" Twilight giggled, "It's... like a rainbow!"
"Oh boy..." Rainbow rested her head in her hooves, "C'mon we better get her to... Wassit called, Glowner?"
"Glognar dear," replied Rarity, "Applejack?"
Applejack, was carefully considering Irwin, who was sitting on a rock looking at the scene with, what looked like, complete and utter confusion. "yeah sugarcube?" She said tearing her gaze away from the gentle giant.
"Could you be a dear and carry Twilight on your back until we reach the city?" The white mare turned reproachfully toward Twilight, "I don't think she's in any condition to walk.
"Don't fret Twilight, I'll sort ye out." Applejack said, flipping the purple pony onto her back.
"I'll grab her saddle bag," offered Rainbow
"Woah," said Twilight giggling to herself, "I'm a pony riding a pony,"
"Er... Why is that funny?" Inquired Fluttershy, staring at Twilight wondering what could have got her into this state.
"Cause ponies don't like to have their saddles taken off," Twilight then burst into hysterical laughter.
"This is gunna be a long trip..." Applejack sighed.
__________
"Hey, don't worry about it," Spike smiled, It was a relaxing experience talking to another dragon, even if it was one that tried to eat him in the past.
"It was a hard week, I was cranky... You were just a baby, I truly cannot apologise enough." The large green dragon was smiling nervously, the night the two had first met had probably not been spike's best introduction to his own kind, and, from what Spike had told him, the dragon migration had done nothing but make things worse.
The elder dragon was set on trying to convince the younger member of his species that not all dragons were, cranky, mean, selfish, greedy and all-round nasty creatures. Well... At least not all the time.
So he sat back, relaxed and he talked.
___________
"Hey Applejack?" the ponies had long since said their goodbyes to Irwin, the path they were taking now would apparently lead them straight to Glognor. Twilight was still strewn across Applejack's back, and Applejack still wanted to kill her.
"Yes, Twilight?" Applejack had began grinding her teeth together, this trip was becoming very damaging for her mouth.
"Your Granny Smith is only known as Granny Smith, but, she couldn't have always been a granny could she?"
"No, I don't reckon she was."
"Well what was she before she was Granny Smith?" Applejack had no answer to that, "also, does that make you Applejack Smith?"
Applejack Sighed, electing to stay silent, rather than incite any further rambling. Of course it didn't work.
"What about Big Macintosh?" Twilight hadn't seem to have kept quiet once since she touched that stupid troll, "I mean, Big Macintosh Smith, It just doesn't sound right."
"Ya know Big Mac's just his nickname right?" Applejack said, breaking her vow of silence, "He's just called Macintosh."
"That makes sense... He couldn't always have been big."
"Exactly."
"Have I ever told you, your brother's really hot?"
Applejack stopped suddenly, "No, I don't reckon you've ever told me that," Applejack snorted angrily.
"Well, he is..." Twilight said obliviously, she hadn't stopped beaming since Applejack had been carrying her.
Applejack began moving again, shooting Twilight a cold look in a sudden bout of over-protectiveness only a sibling could obtain.
Applejack and Twilight had been travelling at the back of the group for a while now, not because Twilight was heavy, at least, not for the orange farmer pony, the brave young mare was just trying to spare her friends the hell she was going through.
The magic had certainly affected her brain, that much is certain, she was certainly more forgetful and had barely moved a muscle since she had been dropped on Applejack. "You fur is really soft..." Twilight rested her head on the farmer's thigh, curling up into a ball as she did so.
Applejack smiled, the unicorn had drifted off to sleep, the orange earth pony may finally be able to walk in peace. Then Twilight began snoring.
Another, rather uneventful couple of hours passed, aside from an encounter with a village of evil, undead, shadow pony things, that twilight managed to sleep through entirely,
Pinkie Pie hopped along the path ahead of everypony else, nightfall was fast approaching and the ponies had to pick that package up as soon as possible, Pinkie may be an over-excited pink ball of energy, but by Celestia, if the writer wanted to get this shit over with, she was not one to object.
"I see it, I see it!" The pink pony shot ahead of the rest, at about a mile a minute, she arrived at the gate before Rainbow Dash even saw it, and she was flying!
The rest approached the door several minutes later, Twilight still fast asleep on her friends back. Upon their arrival the team found Pinkie deep in conversation with a small, incredibly strange creature, completely unknown to them. "No, no, no, no, Blueschist is metamorphic, it's Argillite you're thinking of!" The pink pony argued.
The gate was huge, it stood at least 200 feet high, seemingly carved into a wooden wall twice again that size, the wall seemed to stop after a few metres however, and then the wall seemingly disappeared into the trees, 'the trees are our walls,' was a common saying by the globins.
The creature was as strange a thing as any of the ponies had ever seen. It was shaped... well... like a disk basically, there was no doubt about it, aside from the stocky little legs sticking out from underneath its body the creature was almost completely flat, its arms had somehow folded into its face, its eyes only seemed to be able to look straight upwards and its mouth was completely devoid of any teeth.
"Thaf wab I thed!" The small creature talked in a strange oddly whimsical accent, still very much noticeable through the creatures garbled speech and completely alien to the ponies. "Argillite ith a thedimentwy wock and ith vewy common awound ere."
The disk slammed its chin down on the ground beside Pinkie and rolled his face in a circle until his eyes met the new visitors, upon meeting their gaze its eyes widened in shock, "Mowe a ya, will thith ith unexpected."
"Hello, my name is Rarity," said Rarity, relatively obvious that, "this is Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle," she said pointing to each pony in turn, "I believe you already met Pinkie," she smiled.
"That I hab," the disk smiled, "I'm wocky, if it pweatheth ya." The creatures eyes looked at the ponies in turn, "two qwethtions, the fiwtht, what mannew of cweatuwes are you?"
"We're ponies," Rainbow Dash said in disbelief, "you know, from Equestria? The land that surrounds this forest on all sides?"
"Ponieth, eh? Not been any of youw kind in Glognow in ovew a thouthand yeawth!"
Rocky's tale is a sad one, he was born a gatekeeper, well born under the gatekeeper sign anyway, this means that, by the laws of Glognor, he was born to be a gatekeeper. Now Rocky was eager to begin his training, so his predecessor, Cloch, had took him out into the world to see several different creatures, he saw timber wolves, he saw sea serpents, he saw Dragons, he saw cockatrices, he never saw ponies, but, then again, he never left the Everfree, so that's understandable.
At any rate, one day, Rocky and his master had been exploring a cavern, deep in the rock, here Rocky hoped to finally meet a troll, they being rare beasts. However, while deep within the den, it just so happened a cave in occurred and Cloch was crushed under around 241 tons of rock. Rocky was fine though, he probably would have remained fine if a confused troll hadn't smashed his head of the roof of the cavern, knocked itself out and came crashing down on top of him.
The troll apologised, and Rocky forgave him, but it is well known in Glognor that the gatekeeper still harbours a deep disliking of any creature that feeds on rocks.
"Now fow my thecond qwestion," the Globin licked his lips, "What have you come here fow?
"Oh, er..." Fluttershy stepped forward, "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I mean, if you wouldn't mind, could you please, open the gate and lets us pass? Please?"
"Ah, well that makth qwite a bit of thenthe actuawy." the Globin conceeded, "Whath the pathword?"
Silence fell amongst the six ponies, "Rainbow, do ya still have Twi's saddlepack?" Asked Applejack looking to her flying friend.
Rainbow opened her sparsely packed saddlepack, desperately searching for Twilights, turning back to the group, she shrugged innocently, "Maybe it fell out?"
"You never packed it, did ya Rainbow?" Applejack asked flatly.
"Er... No, I forgot," the multicoloured pegasus said, hanging her head.
Applejack rolled her eyes and, as gently as she could, threw Twilight off her back.
The unicorn landed heavily and woke with a start, "W-what?" The Purple pony took bearing of her surroundings as she groggily stretched her hooves and slowly rose to her feet.
"All right sugarcube, what's the password?" Applejack asked.
"Oh, it's..." Twilight scratched her head with a hoof, "It's..." Twilight slumped, "Er... I can't remember," she admitted, defeated.
"Horseapples." stated Applejack.
"What are we going to d-do?" asked Fluttershy shaking, "we can't let the Princess down."
"We could just read the letter Princess Celestia sent us!" Pinkie remarked helpfully.
"Pinkie darling, Rainbow left that back with Irwin," Rarity explained.
"Focal faire" said Pinkie reading from the letter she had suddenly pulled from her saddlebag, come to think of it.
"Aye thath it, in ye go then little ponieth." Rocky said, unlocking the gate for the group.
"Two things," asked Twilight, "Couldn't Rainbow or Fluttershy simply have flown over?" Twilight looked between the two pegasi, obviously glad to have finally regained her wits.
"Well I'm sure we could have," Fluttershy said softly, "But I think that would have been awfully rude."
Rainbow nodded in agreement, though Twilight found it incredibly likely that the thought had never even entered either of their heads.
Rolling her eyes and dropping the issue, Twilight turned to Pinkie. "Ok, secondly then," the purple unicorn knew she would probably regret it, but curiousity, once again, over-came her better judgement, "where in Equestria did you get that letter Pinkie?"
The little pink party animal just smiled, "It was in your saddle bag,"
"Where is my saddle-bag?" Asked Twilight, hesitating slightly.
"With Irwin," Pinkie replied, her innocent smile unwavering.
The unicorn blinked once, "I see."
"If i ithn't too much twouble," the disk spluttered, "Would you mind entewing the thity befowe thomething large and aggwethive cometh along?"
Twilight, rather thankful for the distraction, apologised to the small flat globin, and led the group through the huge pillars of wood onto the straight pathway that led through the city.
Shock crossed Twilight's face as she took in the spectacular beauty of the huge city, the ponies couldn't help but stand in awe of the beautifully well crafted buildings, lush and colourful gardens, exquisitely well decorated fountains and the streets completely identical on both sides.
Everywhere, light shone from magical lamps hung from small metal poles that protruded from buildings and lined the streets. The inhabitants of the city had learnt very early on in its life, that simply attaching torches to wooden buildings was a very bad idea indeed, it had, in fact been the largest contributing factor in the first great fire of Grognor. It also implanted a deep physiological fear of naked flames into the mind of every living globin.
Several green creatures where walking about the streets, they were simple creatures globins. Simple looking anyway, trying to guess what one was thinking was like trying to fit your head into a pint glass.
They had spherical bodies, each with a short pair of legs and thick, but again, rather small arms. Their faces were a diverse range of different eye shapes, mouths, hair styles and even ears.
Now globins are strange creatures, (they are also a related family of proteins,) in that they find incredibly complicated ways to do very simple things, the city of Glognor is an example of this strange way of thinking. This was done by the great architect Casúr, he had a notion one day, drawing up the designs for the city, that he could cut his work in half by making the two sides of the city completely identical.
Spurred on by this Casúr put every little bit of architectural skill and imagination into one half of the city, before copying it exactly on the opposite side. The design was approved and the builders began work on the city under their greatest and most revered ruler, King Rí the First, so named as he was the first king of the Globins whose parents had decided to call Rí. The work took a spectacularly long time, the king refusing to allow anything to be out of place and many buildings had to be torn down and rebuilt to be absolutely prefect.
Eventually, the city was created, perfectly symmetrical, as had been Casúr's dream. It's a beautiful sight, to be sure, but considering that since that completion, the city has been nearly completely destroyed at least four times, the Globins are debating if the should just drop the whole idea and think of something easier.
Like tear down all the building currently standing and replace them with apartment blocks, or rebuild an exact duplicate underground.
It was Twilight that first snapped out of her daze, turning to the gatekeeper she asked pleasantly, "Where could we find Mismatched Sox?"
"Whith one?" asked the Gatekeeper.
The city is symmetrical, this means every single building has an identical twin, of course, internally, the buildings could be as diverse as the residents wished, but the outside had to remain untouched, on pain of death. Globin kings were quite fond of executions.
Of course the six ponies had been unaware of this, in addition to being pitifully appreciative as to how incredulously stupid a design it was.
"There are- Never mind!" Twilight hook her head in disbelief, "Where are they?"
"Wew, thew awe two, to get to the fiwst one, you thimpy go stwaight ahead till you get to Dó stweet and then you mutht tuwn weft and follow the path stwaight ahead, the thop is diwectly oppothite the baketh." Rocky took a second to catch his breath, "to get to the othew one, you thimpy go stwaight ahead till you get to Dó stweet and then you mutht tuwn wight and fo-"
"We can figure it out from there I'm sure," said Twilight, "Thank you very much Rocky, it was a pleasure talking with you.
"Befowe you go," The gatekeeper sprayed the ponies with spittle as they walked past him, "I had bettew wawn you, the king doth not like ponieth, it would be bethd if he nevew leawnth of youw pweath- pweathethethe- you being hewe."
"Why doesn't he like ponies?" remarked Pinkie, staring at Rocky uncertainly.
"Thomthing to do with an evil pwintheth buwning down the thity a few thouthand yeaws ago, dothn't weally mattew.
After around an hour of wandering the streets of Glognor the ponies arrived at the first of the Mismatching Sox. They had gotten lost numerous times, as it is rather difficult to tell which building is the bakers and which is Mismatched Sox, when every single shop looks nearly identical.
Twilight quickly looked up at the sign above each shop as she passed, "No, no, no, no, no, Yes! Here we are girls!" She said finally entering a shop with the Title 'The Mismatched Sox' printed proudly above it.
Twilight entered the building, followed by Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy hung around outside for a second, her eyes wide with bewilderment staring to the top of the building.
"Er, girls..." She said quietly.
"We're here to pick up a package for Princess Celestia." Twilight stepped forward, drowning out Fluttershys soft voice as she spoke, and approached the small round green ball behind the counter
The creature growled, "about bloody time!"
"This is the right shop then," Rainbow dash laughed.
This was Stocaí, the baker, the small creature had a nose that protruded nearly 6 inches out of his face and small angry eyes, with a thick brow that probably kept each one nice and toasty. He spoke with the same airy accent as the gatekeeper, only this time round it sound much more aggressive.
"Here's yer bloody order then," the Globin reached under the desk and fetched out a large brown cloth bag. "Now, we had to replace the container it was brought in, due to rot, adding to that services rendered and inconveniences caused I'd say the total would come to about 50 Gold pieces."
"Gold pieces?" Twilight stared at the shopkeep blankly
She got no response, only an intense, angry stare.
"Do you accept bits?" The pony reached around for her saddlepack, before realising it wasn't there.
"Does anyone have any bits?" She turned to face the other 5 ponies, a nervous smile playing about her lips.
"I've got about four," said Rainbow
"Six here!" Pinkie took the bits she had from her saddle bag
"I think I have two somewhere in here," Fluttershy claimed, searching through her own saddlebags,
"Here's twelve." Rarity placed the coins on the counter whilst Applejack dug deep inside her baggage for some money.
"I don' have a single bit on me," stated Applejack sadly, "Sorry Twi"
"Ok, so that comes to a total of... 24 bits." Twilight looked hopefully at the shopkeeper.
"I was born ta be a baker ye know." Stocaí said, his voice dripping with acid. "I was born under the báicéir star. I should be a baker.
There are many stars that one can be born under, all of them coincide with a specific day, it used to be month, but the globins realised that there was a massive overpopulation of their kind working in a few select jobs and decided something had to change.
Of course taking out the star system would be too much work, so instead they had spent nearly twenty years devising a new and improved system. Of course it was a more efficient and balanced system of job-assignment, nonetheless the Globins of Glognor would rarely have short spells of logical thinking wherein they came to the conclusion that this may have been a very large waste of twenty years.
The lack of rule in the intermission period between the policies had been an incredibly jarring experience for most of the small creatures, and the city fell into a state of chaos. This accounts for the second great fire of Glognor.
The period following the destruction, known as the second era of reconstruction, of which there have now been four, is thought to be the most unstable period in globin history. Many of the survivors from the incident decided that they liked the freedom they had experienced and wanted to rule themselves. A dangerous and self-destructive notion, that the monarchy quickly stamped out.
Of course, very little of this mattered right now, except that it had created one very unfulfilled baker, "My precious mammy, she made me promise, I had to collect on this," he waved distastefully to the brown sack on the desk, "the last order, that's what she called it, t'was her dyin' wish, to see it gone." Stocaí harsh gaze flicked over the ponies, positively radiating hate.
He picked a bit up from the table, inspecting the wise and knowing face of Celestia, "A 'bit' eh?" the globin bit down on the coin, "It's real then," the small creature looked back up at the six ponies their faces staring hopefully at him.
"Fine," he finally decided, pushed the package towards Twilight, "Take the bloody thing!" The force of the push driving his point home, "take it and get outta ma bloody shop."
Twilight picked it up in a magical aura and quickly departed the shop dropping the bag on the street and smiling widely, "We did it girls!" she exclaimed happily, "We better get it back to the Princess."
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash flew to the large brown sack and began fiddling with the rope that held it closed at the top, "so what's inside?"
"Rainbow!" Twilight magically grabbed the pegasus by the tail, swiftly pulling her away from the bag, "It's none of our concern what's inside, the delivery is for Princess Celestia."
"Ahem!" Fluttershy cleared her throat, successfully attempting to gain the ponies attention.
As the girls turned to face her they saw a single yellow hoof pointing to the sign hanging above the shop.
The Mismatched Sox
The tied best dry cleaning services in Glognor!
Twilight sat on her flank, staring at the sign before floating the sack over to her and confirmed the suspicion with a quick peek. "We were picking up her drycleaning?" She said, in complete disbelief.
The other Five ponies looked just as shocked.
"That's it, who's up for a drink?" Rainbow landed beside Applejack, sure she'd support her in this matter, "I think I saw a pub back there, it would be pretty cool to see what these things drink."
"We don't have any money," Rarity said, hesitant to set foot inside such a dirty establishment.
"And didn't the gatekeeper say the king didn't want us here?" Fluttershy piped up.
"Ah reckon they're right Rainbow, we got nothing to pay with." Applejack said sagely
Twilight smiled, "We'll think of something."
"Alright Twilight!" Rainbow turned to Pinkie, "You in, Pinkie?"
"I'm always up for meeting new friends!" Pinkie exclaimed, beaming brightly.
"Ah, to hay with it, let's go you guys." Applejack said, smiling mischievously at Rarity and Fluttershy
"Oh, I suppose, if everyone else is doing it, I mean." Fluttershy responded.
Rarity rolled her eyes, "Well it seems I have little choice in the matter, lead on Rainbow."
"So, ah imagine you got somethin' in mind?" Applejack trotted alongside Twilight as they followed Rainbow to the broken flagon.
"I thought we'd make some friends," Twilight said smiling, her horn glowing as they walked into the pub.
________
"Your delivery, Princess." Twilight had arrived by train not 20 minutes ago, completely exhausted and soaking wet, the large brown bag of dry cleaning was harshly dropped on the floor in front of her, also, remarkably dry for something that had just been carried through a city being drenched in rain.
"Thank you so much, my faithful student," Celestia, stared at the little unicorn and cocked an eye, "is something wrong Twilight?" The princess walked towards the small purple pony, "You look exhausted."
Twilight looked at the princess, "It was a long journey is all," Twilight said, wisely deciding not to tell her of the angry mob of globins chased them halfway across the Everfree.
It's also probably a good job she didn't tell the princess about the fifth great fire of Glognor that she and her friends had inadvertently caused before departing the previous night. This is for many reasons, primarily amongst them would be that Twilight Sparkle could barely comprehend what had happened herself.
It had all been going so well, the curious globins had welcomed the creatures into the pub like old friends, they had been bought a few drinks and relayed a few stories. Globins, possessing very few powers of their own, where fascinated as the unicorns had been showing off their powers, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Applejack where having a card game with some of the globins while Pinkie was drinking them all under the table.
Everything had went wrong so fast. Twilight decided to show off a new spell of hers, one she'd been working on for a while. She summoned the fire at the end of her horn, instantly earning a loud chorus oh alarm and fear, a globin had thrown his drink at her horn to try and put the fire out.
He missed and everyone felt the burn of his mistake, in the space of 20 seconds, Twilight had collapsed onto the floor, just having been hit in the face by a glassful of a strange green liquid, she found herself being dragged to her hooves and being forced out the door.
All she heard was a single word, "Run," she didn't know who had said it, but she ran, fast and true, the whole way to the gate of the city, she found it wide open, Rocky missing from in front of it.
She turned to see all of her friends following close behind her, followed by a very large crowd of angry globins, gathering on the streets, far across the city she could make out several buildings burning, "Oh dear," she said aloud before being dragged forward as Applejack and Rainbow Dash surged forward and out of the gate.
They had run and run and run and run, none knew when they had run far enough, none daring to look behind them, not stopping till they were safely out of the Everfree. The smoke was still visible, gathering into the sky from far across the forest.
Celestia, as luck would have it, was far too preoccupied with the bag of memories Twilight had delivered to her to inquire any further, "As you say," the princess agreed, "please, take these bits as an apology for sending you on what should have been my duty,"
The Princess dropped a heavy bad of coins in front of the young pony and turned to back to the sack. "I remember these," she said, pulling out a pair of socks, "I wonder if they still fit."
Twilight lifted the bag smiling as she departed, allowing the princess to kick off her royal boots to roll the socks onto her hoof.
As she was walking through the great hall she saw princess Luna stepping through the front entrance, her coat completely sopping wet and her ethereal mane spreading like goo along the ground. She smiled as Twilight approached.
"I see Celestia sent you to receive the dry cleaning, I trust your journey fared well?" Luna smiled at her old friend
"Well, we collected Celestia's package, so I suppose it did." Twilight said, with a tired smile
"Good, good... I trust you received a receipt?" Luna shuffled her wings awkwardly as she asked.
"No... I guess the creature must have forgotten..." Twilight caught sight of the mischievous grin on the princess' face, "Why do you ask?" she added suspiciously
"No reason," the princess said quickly, walking briskly up the steps to her bedroom.
Twilight shrugged and exited into the rain, holding the bag of bits in her mouth.
She arrived home late that afternoon, "Spike, I'm home!" She called.
"Spike?" she said, depositing the bag of bits on her desk, "Where are you?"
________
"The poison joke has left me completely paralysed, that I can still work my magic is a very fortunate thing indeed," Spike read aloud to Greenscales,"The other effects are still present, my coat is still bright pink and my mane has turned purple, my wings light up randomly and I cannot help but utter air-headed remarks that are quite unlike myself."
Spike turned to the bigger dragon, "I couldn't get a lift home could I? Twilight would want to see this."
The large green dragon chuckled, "of course little one, it would be my sincerest pleasure."
Spike smiled, "Thanks Greenscales, you're the best!"
"Well let's hear the end of that letter before you go shall we?"
Spike nodded and picked up where he left off, as unlikely as that sounds, "If you would please obtain the services of your friend Zecora, the castle physicians have all failed to cure the ailment I suffer, The mixture the dry cleaners washed my clothes in was very strong in bringing forth the effects of the poison joke plant it seems" Spike chuckled as he read the remainder, "I would also appreciate it if you yourself came, I may need your help in seeking revenge upon my cruel sister."
"An excellent prank," the large dragon said smiling, "It's good to see that the rulers of your nation have a sense of humour."
Spike nodded in agreement, gathering the other 11 scrolls Celestia had sent Twilight, in the past hour, "Right let's go!" he said eagerly
The large dragon smiled as he allowed the purple fire-spitter onto his back.
"We probably should stop off at Zecora's before we go to my house, get her to mix up the potion." Spike mused.
"An excellent idea my boy," the dragon said happily, "You know Spike," he said, "I'd be honoured to be your guardian, teach you all you need to know about being a dragon if you'd wish."
Spike beamed ear to ear, "Really, you'd do that for me?"
The elder dragon nodded, "I've grown a lot since we last met, I need to right the wrongs I committed in the past..." the dragon turned to the entrance of the cave and took flight, "and you may be the last hope I've got," he whispered to himself.
