Guns and Ponies: Welcome to Equestria

by alexx_

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Profanity, Adventure, Discord
Length: 1035

A powerful creature obsessed with weapons and is a brony goes on a vacation and crashes onto Equus.

Jacob Gunmaster is an Author - a creature that can create and manipulate worlds and universes. Also he REALLY likes guns. And he's a brony. While being on a vacation, he crashes on an unknown planet... which he recognises nearly instantly.

Published 2020-02-06 16:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-06 16:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1. Vacation gone wrong

Jacob Gunmaster was flying in his spaceship, Space Chaser. He was on his vacation, and he was bored.

Jacob already rewatched MLP, twice, shot a lot of asteroids, ventured into outer space and even hunted gigantic beasts with his souped up railgun. And yet he was bored.

Jacob sighed, grabbed a can of soda and took a sip.

"Go on vacation, Ian said, you gotta relax, he said" - Jacob mimicked his best friend's voice - "This... vacation is the most boring thing e- Wait, is that a geocentric star system?!"

In front of the Space Chaser was a typical Earth-type planet. And the star was spinning around it.

"Holy guacamole!"- Jacob said in joy - "I need to meet the Author who made this! Finally, something interesting on this journey of boredom!"

He turned the helm and headed towards this planet. At the same time, he looked on the universes' map and raised one of his eyebrows.

"Hm... This planet isn't on the map, so that means..."
He grinned happily and exclaimed:
"I found a new world! Yay!"

Suddenly, nearly all the screens in cockpit turned red with exclamation mark on them, and sound of the alarm filled the spaceship.

"Huh? What the hell?" - Jake muttered with a confused face. Then, realization hit him - "Oh crap-baskets! I flew too close to the moon of this pla-GAH!!!"

The spaceship shook violently, sending Jacob out of the pilot seat. He hit the ceiling of the cockpit and fell on the floor, world darkening around him. His last thoughts were:

"I should've fastened the seat belts..."

Rainbow Dash was napping, as always. She stretched her hooves and rolled on her back, yawning.

Suddenly, Rainbow noticed something in the sky. She stood up on the cloud and narrowed her eyes, trying to get a better look at the falling object. It was something like a falling star - she saw one of those things recently.

"A falling star... in the middle of the day?.. That's weird, but awesome!" - she exclaimed - "I totally have to go and see it! Wait, is it heading towards the Everfree forest?"

The "falling star" Rainbow just saw was indeed falling towards the dark forest. But now it didn't look like a small shooting star, but instead like a big, red fiery arrow. Then, with a loud "BANG" it crashed into the Everfree, making the ground tremble. Rainbow got hit by the shockwave and barely managed to keep herself in the air. Her eyes were wide in shock, jaw dropped.

As she recovered from the shock, Rainbow shook her head and looked at the crash site in awe.

"That... was... AWESOME!!!" - she squealed , while jumping up and down. "I'm checking that out right now!!!"

Rainbow stretched her wings and darted towards the crater, pulverizing the cloud she was just napping on.

"Ow..." - was the first thing Jacob said after waking up. He was in the cockpit of his ship... well, in its remains. Several screens were cracked and broken, wires were sticking out of the walls and hanging from the ceiling, sparks of electricity were pouring out of some. The seat was crooked, the control panel was devoured.

He noticed, that there was no fire and exhaled in relief.

"Whew... The Automatic Firefighter system still works. It's really more durable than the ship itself, hehe." - he chuckled.

"Well,".- Jake said while standing up -"Shit. Once again, I have crashed on an unknown planet, my ship is destroyed and I'm not dead. Nothing new. Alright then," - he said, while raising his right arm - "I think my vacation is over."

Jacob concentrated on his home's location and snapped to trigger the teleportation.

Snap.
Nothing happened.

Jacob looked at his hand with disbelief and confusion, shaking his head.

"Hey! You've failed me only twice! You better work now!" - he sighed - "Oh well, take two..."

Snap.

Snap.

Snapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnap...

Jacob groaned in annoyance and muttered:

"Aaand this planet somehow blocks my powers. Maybe..."

He snapped once again, and, in a flash of light, a dart gun appeared in front of him, alongside with some ammunition. Jacob smiled, while picking the Paralyzer up - "At least I have some things left. Alright, beware, unknown planet! Jacob Gunmaster is coming in!"

He came to the door that was leading out of the cockpit and knocked it off with a kick. It raised some dust in the air, and Jake coughed a little. He then looked out of the hole and froze right where he was standing.

"What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

And he was knocked out with a light blue hoof to the face.

Fluttershy was feeding her animals, when suddenly, she heard a deafening explosion noise. The squirrel she was feeding squeaked in fear and ran away. Fluttershy herself was very frightened.

"EEEEP!" - she squealed, while flying up and grabbing onto a chandelier. Then, her cottage shook, few things falling off the shelves. And also herself falling off the chandelier. After Flurrershy fell, she immediately dashed under a table and stayed there, shaking with fear.

Rainbow was confused. She just got to the strange construct that fell from the sky. It was all crooked and smoking, but there was no fire. Rainbow remembered a book she read, it was about something falling from the sky, with dangerous aliens inside. And this... construct reminded her of the ship in the book. As the pegasus walked around the fallen thing, she heard a metallic rattle, and a part of it fell off. Dash immediately crouched, ready to defend from anything that could be inside. Pegasus heard some coughs, and then a... creature looked out. It stood on two legs, its muzzle was flat, and it lacked fur. It wore... strange clothes, a cap and a cape.

The creature looked around, noticed Rainbow and froze with a confused look on its face. Then, its mouth opened and it said:

"What the fuuuuuuuuuuu..."

It... Or he, because it looked like a male, didn't have time to finish whatever he was going to say, because Rainbow hit him in the face, knocking him out.