She's a Pirate

by Vendetta

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Fluttershy, Comedy, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Applejack
Length: 3324

Pinkie. Fluttershy. The Seven Sea's.

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy have been living the "Pirate's Life" for 5 years now. It's gone without a hitch. They had the 6, of course, but they parted ways. Two of them became pirates as well, and they are now the most feared pirate crew in the ocean. What happens when Pinkie crosses paths with them once more? Inspired by Glaze's "She's a Pony" remix.

Published 2012-08-20 04:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-22 20:25:36 UTC

A Pirate's Life for Me

Yo ho, yo ho, it's a pirate's life for me.

5 years. 5 years me and Fluttershy have took to the Seven. When the New Lunar Republic rose up against Celestia and her forces, a war broke out. This war lasted about 10 years. Of course, the New Lunar Republic lost. Destroyed. Crushed. But the damage had already been done.

Everypony was poor. Sugercube Corner went out of business, as did Golden Oaks Library. We were all broke, we had nothing. Me and Fluttershy came up with this idea. It's fun. No, really. The adventure, the thrills, it's a good time. We've gotten alot of gold over the past 5 years.

Not sure what happened to Twilight. She probably went up to Celestia after the war and is getting shelter and all that. Lucky her.

Rarity is dead. She was killed during a raid of the Carousel Boutique. That's what we have come to these days. I only heard about it 10 days after the funeral, as news doesn't generally travel around too quick in the ocean. The murderer(s) have yet to be caught. I swear that one day I'll bring them justice.

As for Applejack and Rainbow Dash, well, we all know what happened to them. They are the most feared pirates in the sea. They showed up about three years ago on the ocean, and they have already captured 14 ships and sunk 7, with more gold then you can count. I fear the day I run into them, even though I'm their friend.

"Captain Pinkie. We have an Canterlot barge coming from the east." said Fluttershy who had just entered my quarters.

"How big is it?" I asked.

"Medium. Bigger than that Fillydelphia barge we took a month ago." she responded.

"Alright. Tell Thunderlane to steer us towards it. Can you see a flag?"

"Fog. If we get 50 feet closer, we can see it."

"Alright. Steer us towards it. If you see any flags, tell me."

"Okay, Pinkie." She exited my quarters.

Fluttershy was my first mate. No doubt about that. She may be shy, but if you get her angry, she will hurt you. Badly. My crew has began to fear her to an extent, and fear is generally how you control people here in the Seven. If it wern't for Flutters, we might not be a successful as we are. In a battle, she is great with an axe. I saw her-never mind, that's kinda gory.

One of my crew members, Berry Punch, burst through the door. She was carrying a glass of rum in her hand as usual.

"That barge is running the royal Canterlot seal!" she shouted in glee.

I sat there, dumbfounded. Why would a Canterlot Royal Barge come sailing out here? This is the most dangerous place in Equestria! There is only one mare who would come out here.

You're catching my drift, no pun intended.

"Alright...let's go. Tell Bon-Bon to get the grappling hook ready. We need to be ready for this. There might be guards on that ship, and you know how that goes. Remember that Baltimare ship? Yea. As long as another pirate doesn't try to take her, we're good."

"Alright...you sure about this?" asked Berry.

"Sure as I'll ever be. Go get my sword and my "Party Cannon". Best be prepared for some guards."

"Gotcha, Pinkie." she was about to leave, but I stopped her.

"Oh, and Berry...put up the distress signal. You know, the upside-down Canterlot seal." Berry smiled.

"Should I have Dewdrop make a smoke show?" asked Berry.

"Yep. Oh, and put the wood colored tarp over the cannons. On my mark, take them off. Have some of the crew ready to fire."

"Alright, Pinkie! This is gonna be awesome! We'll be bathing in bits!" said Berry, running out the door.

If she isn't bathing in rum.

The one fear I had, of course, was another ship attempting to take the ship. Finders keepers, losers weepers. Those words mean so much out here. Tales tell of a pirate ship called the "Seapony" once attempted to board a merchant ship form Trottingham. However, another ship called the "Griffon" boared at the same time. Long story short, nopony got any bits.

In this case, she had hoped she found this first. The fog was very high today, so another ship could easily appear at the very last second. In that case, we would have to fight them. We would have no choice. We would have to battle, and I'm guessing that, just like the tale, we wouldn't get any bits.

My ship, the "Vendetta", was made by her and Fluttershy. It took 6 months, but it was worth it. She might be the best ship to sail the Seven. Well, I could name a few that might be better, but I haven't seen them. I mean, it has to be a good ship if it has sailed the Seven for 5 years, huh? She's only seen 2 battles, both of which we had won. We got their bits, too, so that wasn't too bad. I didn't like how many lives had to be lost, but hey, I'm a pirate.

The last 5 years have been really hard on Fluttershy. Angel died post-war. The only animals she has left are the ones that fly by every once in a while. The animals stay aboard for a bit so Fluttershy and them can converse before they go. Fluttershy lived and breathed wildlife, and it was all taken away in an instant. Poor Flutters.

"Captain Pinkie? Should we shoot or board?" said Fluttershy, just now entering my quarters.

"Board. Did Berry get my sword?"

"Yes. Here." she tossed it to me as I followed her outside.

She was, indeed, big. Her hull read "Armor" leading me to believe that Shining owned the ship, further boosting my hopes that Twilight was on the ship.

"Grappling hook!" I shouted.

Bon-Bon shot the hook that attached to the ship, bringing us closer and closer until the ship hit with a thud.

We all crossed silently, hoping to not alert anypony on the ship before we had to. It seemed like a rich ship, and I wondered what we would get from it before another thud shook the ship once more.

I whipped my head to the side, attempting to see the other ship that had boarded. She was hoping that this wouldn't happen, but now she had no choice. She would have to prepare her crew for a battle.

She walked to the left to get a better look at the ship. The sails were different colors of the rainbow, the wood that made the painted black. A flag that showed a skeleton head with wings flew in the air. In white lettering, the word "Spectrum" was written on the hull.

The most fearsome pirate in the Seven, Rainbow Dash, and her equally fearsome first mate, Applejack, had arrived.

Parlay

She flew down to the deck of the ship and landed with a thud.

She wore a standard pirate hat, as did everypony out here. Under her eyes were stripes drawn from what I presumed to be blood. That might have been the best idea ever. In her hand was a sword with serated edges. I swear, Fluttershy is the only pony out here who uses an axe. Long story short, she looked pretty fricken' scary.

Applejack had a giant claymore, also going with the whole blood thing. She was wearing her stetson but no longer wore her mane and tail in a ponytail. She also looked pretty intimitating.

"Alright, you know who I am. Gimmie your bits and I'll...Pinkie? What are you doing on a Royal Canterlot Barge?" asked Rainbow, a confused look on her face.

I pointed my hoof at my ship. She looked over and understanding dawned on her face.

"Oh!...this is awkward." said Rainbow.

"Don't worry, uhh...we can discuss this in my ship." I said, pointing to it.

"Oh...yea, uh...well...hold it down, G."

"Got ya." said a voice that sounded just like a Griffon I use to know.

We walked on the deck of my ship and went into my quarters. Rainbow looked even scarier up close.

"I was hoping Twilight was on that ship." I said, to start conversation.

"Oh. You didn't hear?" asked Rainbow as we sat down.

"No...is she dead?" I asked.

"Mhmm. Her and Shining. Assassinated a year ago, in Celestia's presence."

"What did Celestia do?" I asked.

"She blasted him to bits. That's what I heard, anyway. You don't know what's true and what isn't these days. Got any rum?" asked Rainbow.

"Yea, here." I said, pouring it for her.

"Thanks...so, about that ship..."

"50/50." I said, taking a sip of my drink.

"60/40, my advantage." replied Rainbow.

"Be reasonable." I said, knowing that Rainbow would be a jackass in this negotiation.

"Come on! Where is that smiling Pinkie I used to know?"

"She died when the Lunar Republic did. Now, 50/50."

"60/40."

"50/50."

"60/40."

"50/50."

"50/50."

"60/40, RAINBOW!"

"Done."

"W-what? No! Come on? Be reasonable!"

"Reasonable? I'm a pirate, and so are you! Plus, I've got a reputation to mantain. I didn't even know you were a pirate until now. For a friend?"

"The only friend I have out here is Fluttershy, Rainbow. 60/40...60/40..."

"No need to think, Pink. No need to think. How about this. You accept my offer and I don't kill you."

"You think you can kill me?" I asked, smiling.

"Think? Look under my eyes. I KNOW I can kill you. If not that, I'll take you ship. The "Spectrum" could use some spare parts, ya know. "

...she was right.

"...Fine. BUT-"

"But what?" asked Rainbow, Smiling.

"I get one of your crew members." I said.

"...fair enough. You can have Lyra."

"Is she good, or does she suck at being a pirate? I'm serious, Rainbow..." Rainbow sighed.

"Fine. I can give you Trixie."

"Trixie joined your crew?" I asked.

"Not willingly." Rainbow responded.

"Seems legit. You got yourself a deal."

We walked back outside.

"Alright, guys, we've come to an agreement. Me and Rainbow-"

That was the last thing I said before something hit my head with a thud.

______________________________________

"W-wha..." I said, waking up to find myself on the deck of the ship.

"-I'll murder her! Murder her myself! That piece of-aarrraagghhh!"

That was Fluttershy's voice.

"Flutters? What happened?" I asked. I remembered being on the boat with Rainbow...

Oh no.

"She knocked you out and killed Berry and Thunderlane! Threw them over the edge of the boat like it was nothing! We tried to fight her, but she was ten times better than we were with her crew and she took the chest all for herself, stealing the bits we got from the Fillydelphia raid too! She dumped Lyra Heartstrings over to us before she sailed away! I can't believe this!"

"I can." I said, chuckling.

"You think THIS IS FUNNY?" she yelled, fire in her eyes.

"No, I think it's funny that I was so stupid! Trusting Rainbow Dash..."

"What do we do now then, huh?" asked Fluttershy.

"We kick her fat ass back to Cloudsdale." I casually answered.

________________________________________

Rainbow Dash looked onward towards the Vendetta. The fog hid them from sight, and they were still ver close to the "Vendetta". Only Rainbow could see with her telescope.

"Little left..." she said.

"What in tarnation are we doing this for?" asked Applejack, moving the ship's angle.

"Left...right...left...."

"Rainbow, what-"

"Shut up! Left..." she said. AJ shrugged and obeyed.

"Left...right..."

"What is she doing..." muttered Gilda, leaning against the ship with a glass of rum.

"I heard that, G. Left...Right...there! Stop."

Applejack stopped immediatly.

"What do we do now, Rainbow?"

Rainbow looked through her telescope, the "Vendetta in perfect alignment with the "Spectrum".

"..."

"..."

"Fire."

___________________________________________

A sudden explosion shook the "Vendetta". Fluttershy fell down on the deck. I was already down, but I knew exactly what was going on.

"She's back!" I shouted.

"No dip, Sherclop!" shouted Fluttershy.

"What do we do?" shouted a voice barely recognized, Lyra Heartstrings.

"We fire back." I said.

"Gotcha, Pinkie!" said Dewdrop as she hurried to the deck.

More blasted into the "Vendetta"'s hull. They kept blasting relentlessly. We got about 3 cannons off before water began to surround me. I sighed and gave the order a pirate never wants to give.

"Jump ship! Jump ship! Jump ship!" I shouted before I leaped into the water like the rest of my crew.

The day a pirate jumps her ship is the saddest of them all.

It also inspires anger. Anger beyond compare, anger that makes you want to strangle whoever is responsible, tear them limb from limb. That pony was Rainbow Dash.

That pony was going to pay.

_____________________________________________

"That was cruel!" shouted Applekjack, seeing the other pony's jump ship.

"That was necessary!" replied Rainbow.

"In what way!?" said Applejack.

"We want to make bits. To make bits, it helps to not have competion in the seas! You need to take control! If Life gives you lemons, you kick Life's ass! Simple!"

"That was inequine-"

"We're pirates, Applejack. Nothing is inequine."

that was the end of the converstation. Rainbow Dash and Applejack stared into the distance as the "Vendetta" held it's final grudge.

Personal Vendetta

Yo ho, yo ho, it's a pirate's life for me. Take two.

That was 5 months ago, the Rainbow Incident. Dewdrop and Gala died in the water. Davy Jones had claimed his prize.

Life is such a precious thing, taken away from you in a instant. As if I didn't learn enough of that in the war.

This was great for Fluttershy. Back on land, she had more animals. She was starting to soften up, something I didn't need from her, but she was Fluttershy. She almost denied going back to sea. I convinced her otherwize, and learned the hard way that she was still handy with an axe.

"We have the last parts coming in today, Pinkie. What are you going to name her?" asked Fluttershy, stroking a bunny.

"The "Nightmare's Revenge". Why?" I asked.

"I don't know. That sounds too cheezy." said Fluttershy.

"Any better ideas?" I asked, smiling.

"How about the "Arisen"? We're back, after all. Plus, it sounds cool."

...Dammit. She's right.

"Alright then. That's what we'll call it."

"Yay." I laughed.

"You haven't said that in 15 years, Fluttershy." I said.

"I haven't been this happy in 15 years!" I sighed.

"We need to, Fluttershy. We need to."

"...I know. I just wish..."

"We all do, Flutters. I need to find a new crew. If the shipment comes in, finish her. I'll be at the market if you need me."

"Okay."

Port Celly was the major port in Equestria, luckily close to Ponyville. Ponyville was now a mess, of course. Ruined. Destroyed. But ponies still lived there. Where else?

A cardboard box.

Derpy was on the street, in a cardboard box. No way! She had a tip jar to her right. What could have possibly happened to her where she moved to a seaport?

I sat down next to her criss-crossed. She looked up at me with a smile on her face.

"Oh. Hello, Pinkie. What are you doing here?" she asked. The smile was ruined by her sad eyes.

"I'm building a ship. What happened to you?" her smile turned to a frown.

"My mother died. The discrimination against me was already bad, but without my mother protecting me, they kicked me out the first chance I got. I just wish somepony would understand me..." I sighed.

"Derpy, I'm a pirate." her eyes widened.

"What did you say?"

"I'm a pirate. I came out here to look for a crew. You're poor and kicked out of social life, no offense, and you need shelter. I can offer all that and more if you join my crew." I said.

"..."

"..."

"...alright. Deal."

"Great!" Meet me at the dock at 8:00."

"Okay! Thank you so much, Pinkie Pie!"

"Heh, well...we aren't always the bad guys." I said.

"Most of the time." said Derpy. I started laughing.

"Most of the time. See ya later, Derpy. By the way...have you seen Snips and Snails anywhere?" I asked.

______________________________________________________________________

I found Snips and Snails in a boat that belonged to Trixie Lulamoon. Until she joined Rainbow, of course. It was a canoe, nothing big, and they were sitting inside of it eating something. I presumed it to be rabbit meat, so I'll have to let them know NOT to bring it on the "Arisen".

"Hey, guys." I said, hoping on to the boat.

"Pinkie? What are you doing here?" asked Snips.

"I'm gonna give it to you straight; I'm a pirate. My ship was sunk 6 months ago by Rainbow Dash. I am lacking a crew. I want you guys to join, as it seems you are homeless like the last person I recruited. What do you say?"

"...I don't know..." said Snails.

"Yea, seems fishy." said Snails.

"Free rum, free food, you get shelter and an exciting life as a pirate."

"Done." said Snips and Snails. I laughed.

Man, I haven't laughed this much since pre-war...

"Glad to have you guys on board. Meet me at the dock at 8:00. The rest of the crew will be there. By the way...do you know anypony else who happen to be in hardships?"

"Vinyl Scratch moved back here with her friend Octavia after the scandal." said Snips.

"Is that so? Well... I should go see them, huh?" I said.

"Yea, I would. Thank you, Pinkie Pie." said Snails.

"Hey, no prob. I gotta go get them." I walked off to Vinyl's old place.

The "Scandal" in which Snips had mentioned was 5 years ago, right before I sold my soul to Davy Jones. They say she had been caught taking credit for other DJ's work(Alex S. even filed a complaint). They dissmissed her as a credible DJ and she was excluded from the music scene. Her best friend Octavia has been paying for her ever since, but since times are hard, I'm sure she's been having trouble.

I knocked on the door. Octavia opened it and looked at me strangely.

"Pinkie? Wha..."

"I'm a pirate." I said, smiling. Octavia's eyes widened.

"You see, my ship sunk. Half my crew died. Half my crew wanted out, besides one. I'm looking for a new crew. I want you and Vinyl to come aboard my ship, the "Arisen". You will get shelter, you will get food, you will get adventure, and, the best part, bits. What do you say?" Octavia stood there for a moment.

"That's fine. I'll do it. But...Vinyl might not want to."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"I don't know. Vinyl!"

Vinyl Scratch came to the door. She was a shadow of her former self. She looked beaten and tired, but she still was wearing her signature shades.

"I heard you. I'm in. BUT...I have a question."

"Shoot." I said.

"...Have you ever seen a ghost ship? Like the "Mary Celestia"?" she asked.

"I've seen one. Her name was the "Crusade". She was flying a Trottingham flag. I thought it would be nice to get some of the goods aboard, so we boarded the sip. Nopony. Not one. No lifeboat's gone, no dogs or cats, nothing taken, no blood, nothing. There were some drinks on a table. I touched the glass it was in. It was still hot. To this day, I don't know what happened to the "Crusade". Well, see you guys at 8:00! Bye!" I said, slamming the door while their mouth's were agape with shock.

I made that up.

I chuckled as I walked back to the port. "Arisen". would be done by now, if Fluttershy was preforming her duties. Which she might not have been, but a slim chance.

Tonight, we would Arise.