Immortality

by kittyhasnosoul

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Sad, Princess Cadance, Flurry Heart, Suicide / Self Harm
Length: 4615

All of Twilight Sparkle's friends are dead.

After saying goodbye to her last friend, Twilight is left to face the consequences of being immortal.

Published 2020-01-31 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-31 23:10:01 UTC

II: Flurryheart & Cadence

Shortly after the death of Princess Celestia, Twilight longed to see someone familiar. She ruled alone nowadays, with Spike dead and gone. She quickly boarded a train to the Crystal Empire and headed off to see the two people she knew would always be around; Cadence and Flurryheart.

Shining Armor had died recently, as he was not immortal but only a prince. Twilight was beginning to question the system of immortality. Why were princesses only immortal, and not their husbands? Was that why Celestia and Luna never married or had children? Was immortality a curse instead of a blessing, or just a required part of life as a princess?

The loss of her brother hit her hard. He had been there for day one, her first and only friend for quite awhile... and now he was just gone, he wasn't there to visit anymore. It left Cadence distraught but she put up a strong front, appearing as if life was normal and this was just the way the world worked... if this is the way the world works, Twilight thought, the world is unfair.

She arrived at the Crystal Empire and looked around the kingdom as she made her way to the castle. All the faces were unfamiliar, an entirely new generation of ponies. It had been a few hundred years since Twilight and her friends saved the crystal ponies. She can barely remember the tune they sang as they studied the crystal empire, trying to find ways to use their culture and history to restore their former glory. We can save the crystal ponies... something something... Twilight mummered to herself, indulging in her memories, trying to remember anything from the past. It was sad to think that the ponies that faced King Sombra were basically gone now, except for a select few... the only thing that remained of them was their children, and their memories their children held.

Twilight arrived at the castle and was greeted by Flurryheart. Flurry never really liked having people do things for her, she resented the royal guard for that very reason. She preferred to be a hands-on pony, independent and strong. She took after her auntie.

"Auntie!" Flurryheart screamed, hugging Twilight as tight as possible. Flurryheart's heart was yet to be broken, as she had not been alive long enough to experience immortality. She had, though, been alive long enough to experience that alicorn growth spurt- She was half the size of Twilight, and Twilight was giant!

"Hey, Flurrster!" Twilight said, hugging Flurry tighter than usual.

They entered the castle together and Flurryheart was talking her heart out, oblivious to death that haunts the world, still having the light in her eyes shine throughout her and into her speech. Twilight didn't want to break her heart with the news just yet, so she kept her muzzle closed.

They entered the room where Cadence was, it looked as if she had been crying, but Twilight dare not ask why. She already knew, and bringing it up would only make their hearts hurt worse in unison.

"Cadence," Twilight said happily, as happy as she could muster.

"Twilight!" Cadence said, and they did their secret hoofshake.

"Sunshine sunshine, ladybugs awake!"

"Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"

This hoofshake reeked of innocence, and it made Twilight sad. Those were better days.

"Let's have some lunch, shall we?" Cadence inquired, smiling. Her brave front was strong, but nothing could hide her bloodshot eyes and bags underneath. On the outside, she looked happy, but on the inside she looked lost.

Twilight, Cadence, and Flurryheart sat down together and were enjoying some hayburgers. Twilight's without tomato, Flurryheart's without lettuce and extra tomato, Cadence's plain. As an alicorn, alive for thousands of years, you begin to be familiarized with each others orders, as well as your own.

"I have news, not good news," Twilight said as she finished her hayburger.

"What is it?" Cadence dropped her front and you could see how tired she was. How one more bad news would tip her over the edge. It was no use keeping this secret for much longer though, because they'd find out sooner or later. Better by Twilight than a stranger.

"Celestia has passed, she decided to end her treatment." Twilight said solemnly.

"Oh." Cadence said. She didn't say anything after that.

"Passed?? Like she passed her test? Good job, auntie Celestia! I didn't know she was still in school," Flurryheart said through bites of her burger.

"No, sweetheart... Auntie Twilight means to say she's dead." Cadence said, cutting to the point. Twilight was amazed at how blunt the Princess of Love can be when she's upset.

"Oh." Flurryheart and Cadence's words sounded identical in tone and voice, it was kind of cute. Like mother like daughter, but sad.

"So I can't see her again? Just like how I can't see Auntie Luna?"

"Yes, Flurry," Cadence said again.

"But I want to see her again!" Flurryheart cried out. Poor thing.

Flurryheart began to cry, and that was the breaking point. Cadence began to cry as well, and Twilight let out all her emotions. They rushed to the surface, all at once. Her friends were gone. Her brother was gone. Her mentors were gone. She was still here.

"But, but mommy, doesn't that mean someday I won't be able to see you again?" Flurryheart blubbered through her tears.

"That won't be for a long time, and by then you'll be a full grown mare, love."

Twilight knew that Cadence would eventually give up her throne to her daughter, thus giving up her immortality. Twilight hoped she would be long gone once that day came.

"But who will do my laundry! Who will make me hayburgers? Daddy's already gone, why do you have to go?"

Twilight hadn't yet thought about how the loss of Shining Armor had affected his daughter. Flurryheart was only a small alicorn, but she was so dependent on her parents still... Twilight couldn't yet see her ruling alone.

"Auntie Twilight will still be there, she has no successors in the throne." Cadence reassured her daughter. It stung for Twilight.

"But I want both of you to still be here!"

Twilight couldn't take much more. She excused herself from the table, gave Flurry a hug, and said her goodbyes.

"I'll see you later, Cadence."

"Love you, Twilight."

And just like that, she was gone.

III: Immortality

Author's Note

SELF HARM TW

III: Immortality

Twilight arrived home and threw herself on her bed. She lived in Canterlot castle, her bedroom was much larger than it was in her previous houses; especially compared to her first home, the little treehouse home where her bedroom was only a small place above the stairs. In her first castle, which took place of the tree once it was destroyed, her room was much larger and actually had a door; although it was nothing compared to where she lived now. Her room was large, and along with it the castle was even larger. There were many rooms, Twilight had found herself getting lost her first few months living in the castle. It was once home to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna; their memories were everywhere.

Twilight laid in her bed and thought over everything that had happened. Flurryheart was beginning to have a concept of death. Celestia had died the previous day. Cadence confirmed that someday, she'll give up the throne and die as well.

It was certain, soon, Twilight would have no friends left. And without any friends left, she would have no place left to call home.

In sorrow, she walked down to the Canterlot library to research. It was the only thing that would make her feel better in these trying times.

If death had taken away Celestia, all of her friends, Shining Armor, and soon Cadence, then Twilight was certain there must be a flaw in the system. Why was she cursed with immortality? Why did she have to be a princess at all? When she started out, she was just a pony living in Canterlot with no friends. Now she was an immortal princess with no friends at all.

She searched through the I section, looking for a book on immortality. Picking up a few books, titled How To Become Immortal (no use to her at all), Immortal Princesses, and Immortality: A Blessing or A Curse?

She could probably answer the latter one's question in a split second.

She sat down to skim through the books, looking for an answer. She didn't bother to look through the one on how to become immortal, and skipped right to Immortal Princesses.

"Everything in this book is something I already know," Twilight said to herself. She had made a habit of talking to herself these days, especially with such an empty castle all to herself, of which she spent most her days in. Now that her moonly meeting with her friends had ceased to happen due to their absence, she didn't get out much. "Princesses are immortal the moment they gain their wings and/or horn, and are able to give up their immortality in exchange for mortality if they have a rightful successor to the throne. Non-alicorns cannot be immortal. I've heard all this before!"

Twilight let out a frustrated sigh. At least she wasn't sad anymore. Her sadness was turning to anger and frustration. She put down the book and went to the next, more promising choice, Immortality: A Blessing or A Curse?

Twilight read aloud: "Is immortality a blessing, or indeed a curse? Many alicorn princesses become immortal due to their need to rule their kingdoms for long periods of time without a successor. They live much longer lives than the regular unicorn, earth pony or pegasus and many question the benefits of this practice. Although immortality is not something you can choose to have or not, it is said to be an important, fundamental part of being a ruler.

"Many alicorns and otherwise immortal beings suffer from loneliness, depression, and even in severe cases, suicide, from seeing loved ones pass away as they age. They might feel intense sadness, and in most cases, this is true. Although there is no way to make others who are going to pass away cease to age, and thus be immortal, there is a way to stop possessing the so-called curse of immorality."

Now we're getting somewhere, Twilight thought.

"Although this practice is highly untalked about, forbidden, and even dangerous. We will not talk about it in this bo-"

Twilight suddenly threw the book into the fireplace.

"Piece of shit!" She yelled. She needed to find out how to stop being immortal, and that book was just making her more angry. She let out a couple of angry tears.

But was she really ready to leave Flurryheart behind? Flurry would be heartbroken, of course... but Twilight's sadness was weighing her down. She could barely stand being alive anymore. She was lonely, her life was filled with nothing but royal appointments. Of course, they could always find another ruler of Equestria... and who would really miss her anyway? The only two people who cared about her who were alive were well off on their own! If there was any chance that she could be with her brother, her friends, Spike, or Celestia and Luna again... she'd take it. No matter the consequences.

Perhaps, Twilight thought, maybe immortal doesn't mean you can't die... maybe it means it's just harder to die. She didn't know how Discord did it, perhaps just stopped being chaotic all together and simply disappeared... but maybe there was an easier way. She could still bleed, she could still feel pain. If someone shot her right now, there's nobody who would say she cannot die from that bullet wound.

She had to test this out.

She went into the kitchen, picked up a knife, and began slitting her wrists rapidly. She began to bleed everywhere, all over the kitchen floor. She made her way to the bathtub, leaving a trail of blood in her waking path. She sat in the tub and allowed it to fill with water. She began slicing open her skin, leaving no patches without wounds. The pain was numbingly amazing, and Twilight couldn't seem to put the knife down. This was the only time in years that she had felt this alive.

She hit a vein, and blood began spurting out in bright red colored ribbons. After slicing some more, she put down the knife and sat down in the bathtub, and began talking to herself, hoping to say her last words...

She certainly felt like she was dying.

"Spike... Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash... Pinkie Pie... Fluttershy... Luna... Celestia," she mumured, in stinging, mind-numbing pain. "What does death feel like?"

Twilight was certain she was going mad.

Suddenly, she felt weak, and her eyes began to close. She allowed herself to drift off, hoping to never see the empty halls of Canterlot castle ever again...

"Goodnight," Twilight whispered, as she fell asleep.

IIII: Acceptance

"There is blood all over me.

All I can see ahead of me is darkness.

The darkness gives me hope.

I walk through the tunnel and at the end I see a ray of light,

I see my family.

They give me rags to clean the blood off of me, and I feel cleaner than I have felt before.

Am I dead?"

Twilight Sparkle awoke, from a deep sleep. Her large alicorn body could barely fit in the hospital bed.

"Doctor? Doctor! She's awake!" A familiar voice yelled into the distance. This was the void, she was sure. It had consumed her whole and now she was lifeless and dead, forever confined to this existence.

She saw a figure over her, and he said, "Twilight, you're awake. You've been in the hospital for a few days. You're in recovery right now."

Twilight looked down at her body that a second ago didn't exist, and saw many stitches covering her. She used her magic to rip them open.

"No! Stop!" Cadence said in a frustrated tone, using her own magic to stitch them back up. "Didn't realize your magic would work as soon as you woke up. Doctor, can you stop her from ripping her stitches again?"

The doctor placed a magic-prohibiting cone over her horn. It was annoying. Twilight wanted to see more blood.

Cadence seemed cold and harsh, and her face looked like she had been crying... more than usual. She also looked like she hadn't slept. Twilight wondered why.

"Why do you look so ugly?" Twilight asked.

"I've been looking after you, stupidhead. You tried to kill yourself, and a guard found you passed out in the bathtub. Flurryheart is in the waiting room. Do you want to see her?"

Images flashed through Twilight's head. Bathtub. Bathtub. Blood. More blood. Pain. Death.

"Who's Flurryheart?"

"Your niece," Cadence said softly. "Don't tell me you have amnesia too! Doctor, can you check her for that?"

"She doesn't have amnesia, she's just waking up. Don't be so worried, Cadence." The doctor said back. "Would you like me to let Flurryheart back in?"

"Yes, please. I'll try."

Flurryheart came in, and gasped as soon as she saw Twilight. "Auntie, Auntie! You're awake!" she screamed, louder than Twilight had ever heard. Was she hungover?

"I want to die." Twilight said bluntly, slurring her words.

"You have responsibilities, Twilight," Cadence said, while shushing Flurryheart's loud squalls. "If you really felt that way, you should have just told me. You always had such an issue making friends. You just need to put yourself out there and make new ones."

"New friends? But my old friends were already so perfect," Twilight whispered. "any new friends I get will just die."

"Death is a natural progression of life, and anyway, you'll see them again in the next life. It's all gonna be okay, Twilight, but not if you keep digging yourself into a hole like this. You can't just fluke out on me and Flurryheart, we love you so much. What would your brother say?"

"He'd tell me to man-up," Twilight mumured.

"Exactly! I'll be staying with you for a few days, Flurry and I. Just ask for anything and I'll be there! I'll even help you make new friends, maybe even get a boyfriend?"

"I don't want new friends."

"What you need is a happier attitude, Twilight." Cadence was giving her the tough-love treatment, something she was great at. Especially when she was as nervous as right now, but she would never let Twilight know that, even if she already did. "Do you promise you'll make new friends?"

"Sure, whatever." Twilight said, rolling over and finding herself in immense pain from the wounds covering her body.

Cadence and Twilight, covered in bandages, walked through Canterlot together, looking for new friends for Twilight. Cadence seemed overly peppy, either so happy that Twilight was okay, or trying to surround Twilight with a positive attitude to make her feel better. Twilight thought it was sweet, but annoying.

"I always told myself, the first step to making new friends is putting yourself out there! You're already pretty out-there, as a princess, but you hide inside your castle all the time. Maybe try going out sometimes, and the people will come to you." Cadence spoke in a gentle, peppy tone.

"All these ponies are the kids of ponies I used to know," Twilight said, "some of them even have kids of their own."

"Exactly! Good thinking, Twilight! Have you spoke with Li'l Cheese lately? How are they now?"

"They're an adult pony," Twilight sighed. It had been a long time since she last saw her dear friend Pinkie Pie's child.

"Let's go see them!"

So they set off to Ponyville.

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

"Are you home, Li'l Cheese??" Cadence shouted, and Twilight's ears ringed at the loud sound.

The door opened, and a pony with a light yellow coat and a bright pink curly mane opened the door.

"Princesses!" She shouted, jumping up and down. "What an honor! I mean really, it's really great to see you, I haven't seen you in ages! How many moons has it been? So many moons! We need to catch up! You knew my mom and dad, right? Come in, come in!" Li'l Cheese shouted, their voice shrill with excitement.

Twilight and Cadence sat down in Sugarcube Corner, the place that Li'l Cheese inherited once her mother died. It smelled like fresh sweets and baked cookies and chocolate.

"Want a cupcake? I love baking cupcakes, you know, my mom always told me I was better at baking than she was!" Li'l Cheese was so full of energy that Twilight's brain was hurting.

"Twilight was wondering if you wanted to be friends," Cadence said,

"Be friends?!?! With THE Princess of Friendship??!?!?!?!?!?!!" Li'l Cheese gasped, and began jumping up and down once again.

"Yeah, I guess." Twilight sighed, eating her cupcake. It did taste pretty good, but she wouldn't say it was better than Pinkie's cupcakes.

"I'd love to! We can have sleepovers, make sweets together, and and and...."

"We can start by having lunch tomorrow," Cadence said, smiling.

"I'll make my famous hot-sauce sugar and chocolate pie!" Li'l cheese said, grinning with joy. This thing was a ball of energy. And for a person named "li'l", they weren't very little anymore.

"Deal!"

"See, that wasn't so bad!" Cadence said, smiling at Twilight.

"I guess it wasn't," Twilight said, smiling back. A genuine smile for the first time in awhile.

"See, life isn't so bad. You might live longer than the average pony, but there's a whole world out there of people you can be friends with! You can even mentor some ponies, like how Celestia mentored you."

Twilight smiled. The mentioning of Celestia did not sting anymore, but rather filled her with happiness. I guess almost dying makes you realize how many people care about you, Twilight thought to herself.

Twilight was going to get better. She would be happy again. And someday, she might even pass down her crown to someone who would be a great ruler of Equestria... maybe a student, maybe a child of hers.

Immortality was neither a blessing, nor a curse. Sadness is just a state of mind, after all.

I: Saying Goodbye

"It won't be the same without you," Twilight Sparkle weeped, at the bedside of her friend and mentor. The pony in front of her was frail and weak, and appeared as if the life had drained out of her. After so many years of seeing her happy self, always giving Twilight advice and being so strong, it was a large contrast to see her so weak. This is how she had been for the past few months, slowly succumbing to death.

"Twilight, it's okay. I can barely handle this world without my sister. She's my other half, you know," Princess Celestia said in a gravely voice, struggling to mutter a few words as she was so weak. The princess had given up her immortality in favor of allowing Twilight to rule, something she would never regret. She lived out the rest of her days alongside her sister Luna, living life to the fullest. After all, they had lived for thousands of years, they had to wind down at some point. Despite the desire to eventually come to rest and resilience of not fearing death, when Luna died, it hit Celestia hard, like a punch in her heart. Losing her younger sister was the last thing she had expected, she had ruled Equestria alongside her since they were fillies. She never thought there would be a day where she wouldn't have anybody to make pancakes for in the morning, no one there to criticize her for her uplifted attitude. Without Luna, Celestia felt like she had a hole in her heart.

"But I've already lost everypony else! I can't lose you too," Twilight cried, tears silently falling down her cheeks. "Who will be there when I need advice? Who will I go to brunch with on Sundays?"

Twilight Sparkle didn't think much taking on being immortal, it was just another side affect to being a princess and ruler of Equestria. That was until she began to lose her friends... When Rarity died, it was a rude wake up call for Twilight. All of her friends had aged, and she had not. All she had gained was becoming a full grown alicorn, improving her magic and making her taller and stronger. Her friends had bags under their eyes, their hooves were becoming frail, and when she was alive, Rarity's hair had grayed over time and lost its purple color. After Rarity died, her friends seemed to be dropping off one by one... each death taking more and more light out of Twilight's eyes.

Soon after Rarity died, Applejack passed away. Rainbow Dash was distraught, and Twilight could only imagine her pain. Twilight hadn't found the time to find a significant other, and there was no point, for she was one out of three immortal ponies left in Equestria, the others being Flurryheart and Cadence. She was grateful to always be with Flurry, and found herself visiting the Crystal Empire more often now that her friends were gone. Everywhere else, especially Ponyville, felt lonely and lacking.

Over time, each of Twilight's friends died, sometimes slow, sometimes sudden. Pinkie Pie's death was a surprise to everypony, she passed away in her sleep. Rainbow Dash commited suicide shortly after Applejack's death. Discord didn't want to live without Fluttershy so he gave up his immortality so Fluttershy's last days were his, as well. All of them were gone, and Twilight was still here.

"I just want to see my sister again," Celestia murmured, refusing to cry. She had been diagnosed with cancer, and was in much pain... mostly emotional, from being without Luna, although she would never admit the physical side was painful, too. Celestia was the last friend Twilight had left, besides Flurryheart and Cadence.

Suddenly, the nurse came in.

"Princess Twilight, hello," said the nurse, greeting her with a sad smile. "Princess Celestia, we need to talk."

"What is it?" Celestia asked, taking the green jello from the nurse and using all her strength to lift up the spoon with her magic and eat.

"Your condition has worsened, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. From other patients experience, we usually find that it only gets more painful from this point on." the nurse pony explained, choosing her words wisely. "What I'm saying is, would you like to go peacefully or... wait it out?"

Twilight began crying harder. "Please no, Princess. You can get better! I can ask Zecora, and she can find some remedies for your pain..."

"My life is meaningless without my sister," Celestia spoke, "I want to die."

"If that is your choice, Princess." The nurse left the room solemnly.

"No! No, no no no no no no. This cannot be happening! Not again," Twilight cried out, not caring how many tears she let flow down her purple cheeks.

"I love you, Twilight. It'll all be okay. Make new friends, for me." Celestia left out a grim laugh, "You always had trouble with making friends. You're so strong now, Twilight, you can do it without my help..."

"Celestia," Twilight said, wiping tears from her face.

The doctor came in, with a sad look on his face, one that could show years of having to say goodbye to many patients, and not dealing with it well. You could practically see the pony he used to be.

"Okay, Princess. I think it's time you say your goodbyes," the doctor pony said, not crying from years of going through this exact same thing. Although, being that Celestia was the former princess, this wasn't any easier than usual.

After some more tearful moments, Twilight left the hospital. On her way out, she took one more look at Celestia's sad, frail expression... and it was in a smile. The kind of smile that meant, you're going to be okay. Twilight suppressed her tears and went on with her day.

Celestia died later that evening, peacefully and with hope that she would see her sister again. Twilight couldn't say the same thing for herself.

IIIII: Life After Death

Twilight was friends with practically everypony in Canterlot now, with lots of help from Cadence. She had friends from the Crystal Empire to Ponyville. She even found herself a coltfriend, and was expecting.

On her due date, she laid down on the hospital bed, convulsing in pain.

"Just one more push!" The doctor said, this time growing with age. This would have made Twilight sad before, but now she accepts that aging is just another part of life. Life goes on, after all.

The baby came out, and to Twilight's surprise, it had a pair of wings. And a horn.

Twilight finally had the next ruler of Equestria figured out.

She looked into the newborn foals eyes and wondered, would this child face as many hardships as she did? Will the time come when she knows the pain of death? It didn't really matter, because she was going to make sure this child's life was full of happiness and cheer. That she knows how to turn to someone when she's sad.

Life went on, and the foal grew. In no time, Twilight found herself crowning her daughter, reflecting on those times in the hospital bed, looking into her daughters eyes for the first time.

Life goes on, as they say. Twilight thought.