The Summer Sun Water War

by Pony Mike

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 2300

It's like the invasion of Normandy, but with ponies. And water balloons.

In the midst of the hottest summer Equestria has ever faced, Princess Celestia wages war on the heat and humidity.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-28 00:24:03 UTC

The Summer Sun Water War

"Every year, the sun seems to get a little hotter. Ponies can't go outside because of the blistering heat. I can fix the sun's irregular temperature, but not this year. We're too close to it, and it's too...strong. The ponies will have to suffer through this summer and try to survive."

"But Your Majesty, they'll die! It's just too hot! Isn't there any way to help them?!"

"...I can think of only one solution," said Princess Celestia. "Call your ponies to arms, we're going to war."

~

"Alright ponies, grab your weapons and prepare for battle!" commanded Rainbow Dash, "your enemy will be everypony around you, and you will not stop until you run out of ammo! And when that happens, you reload and keep fighting! Is that clear?!"

"Sir, Yes Sir!" said the line of ponies in unison.

While all the ponies gathered their guns, Pinkie Pie filled balloons with water. Twilight hurriedly set sprinkler traps around the battlefield, and the Apples prepped the heavy artillery. Rainbow ordered the other pegasi to set pools of water over the houses in Ponyville and fill them with soap. They were preparing for the hottest Summer day Ponyville had ever experienced, and if they couldn't beat the heat, they would go down fighting, wet, slipping and sliding. Fluttershy filled her squirt gun with water, her hooves shaking as she heard Rainbow coming down the line of ponies.

"Only two kinds of ponies are gonna get through today; those that are gonna get wet, and those that have already wet themselves..." snarled Rainbow as she stared down a shaking earth pony. "And the wet know only one thing: it is better to be dry... Fluttershy!"

"Meep!" squeaked Fluttershy, her squirt gun almost flying out of her hooves.

"I need you to do your best today, don't be afraid to take somepony down!" said Rainbow as she took Fluttershy's hoof and raised the squirt gun to her head. "If you have a clear shot, take it. Ok?"

"O-ok..." whispered Fluttershy.

"It's almost time! Everypony get ready!" yelled Twilight.

~

Fluttershy stood in line next to Rainbow Dash. They were in a large field on the outskirts of Ponyville, facing another line of ponies on the opposite side of the field. All of them held fully loaded weapons and while some -like Fluttershy- were hesitant about the wanton violence, others -like Rainbow- were itching for action. While some were shaking out of fear, others were shaking with excitement. Suddenly, Rainbow flew out and faced her comrades.

"I am Rainbow Dash. And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of heat! You have come to fight as free ponies. And free ponies you are! What will you do without water? Will you fight?"

"But a temperature of a hundred and ten?" one pony shouted. "No! We will run home - and cool down!"

"Yes!" Rainbow shouted back. "Fight and you may get hot. Run and you will cool down at least awhile. And sitting in your chair many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young ponies and tell our enemies that they may take our water, but they will never take our freedooooooom!!!"

"Yeeeaaaah!!!" shouted the ponies as Spike blew his horn from the hot air balloon over the battlefield, signalling the start of the war.

"CHAAAARGE!" shouted Rainbow Dash as the ponies pushed Fluttershy aside and ran into the field and straight into the ponies charging them from the other side.

Fluttershy watched in horror as the ponies shot streams of water at each other, soaking their coats and their manes and drenching the dirt around them. One startled pony ran straight up to Fluttershy and shakily pointed her gun at her.

"Stop, or I will shoot!" stuttered Fluttershy as she raised her gun too.

She looked into the other pony's eyes and realized she was just as scared as Fluttershy was. She never asked to be part of this war, she just wanted to have a nice, pleasant day in the comfortable coolness of her home. But when the draft came, calling all ponies to arms in the war against the summer heat, she knew she might never see her friends or family again. If she didn't die in a shower of water squirts, she would be soaked by sprinklers or battered with water balloons. And if she somehow miraculously survived, she would be haunted for the rest of the week by the horrors she witnessed in this war, all this pointless fighting. And now, here she stood, Fluttershy's life in her squirter's crosshairs. Would she pull the trigger? Or would Fluttershy be the one to end this pony's suffering? Fortunately for Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie did the honors with a well-aimed water balloon. She winked at her and she hopped off, nailing other ponies with water balloons on the way.

Fluttershy didn't want to face another pony like she just did, she didn't want to have to decide another pony's fate. And so she ran from the battlefield to the most heavily-guarded place she could think of, Sweet Apple Acres. She ran as fast as she could as the ponies around her fell to each other's squirts. She had to escape from all this madness.

"Let 'er rip, Big Mac!" yelled Applejack as Fluttershy finally came into view of the farm.

Big Macintosh let loose a torrent of water from a long hose, flushing away a large group of ponies that chose to storm the farm. Applejack and Granny Smith had rigged a line of catapults to shoot water balloons at the enemy.

"Fluttershy!" yelled Applejack. "Get over here before you get sprayed!"

Fluttershy dodged the water balloons and jumped behind Applejack's barrier.

"Oh Applejack, I'm so scared!" said Fluttershy.

"Don't worry, sugar cube. You're safe here with us." said Applejack reassuringly.

Fluttershy barely had any time to calm down as a hot air balloon floated menacingly over the farm, obscuring the blazing sun. Spike's eyes glowed with malice as he and Twilight tipped a large pool of water over the side of the basket, completely soaking the Apples and giving the enemy a chance to take them down.

"Fluttershy!" yelled Applejack as she spat the soapy water that had flushed her away.

Big Mac covered Applejack as she made her way back to the yellow pegasus.

"You okay?" asked Applejack.

"Yes, I'm fine..." said Fluttershy as she pulled her wet mane away from her face.

"Alright come on, we can still get outta here in one piece if y'all just follow-"

Fluttershy heard something whiz by her ear as Applejack cut her sentence short. She touched her chest and looked at her hooves, covered in water. Applejack had been shot. Fluttershy's world seemed to slow down as the tomboyish cowpony gave her a look that said "I'm sorry." Another whiz and Applejack's head shot backwards, causing her hat to fly off. Water streamed from between Applejack's eyes to the sides of her face. Fluttershy turned around and looked up at the hot air balloon to see Twilight with a smug smile on her face and a high-pressure tight-nozzle water gun in her hooves.

"Applejack!" yelled Big Mac as he raced over to them. Fluttershy saw Twilight rest the gun on the side of the balloon basket and her sights set themselves on the red stallion, anticipating his moves.

"Big Maaaaac!" yelled Fluttershy as his head shot forward and he fell to the ground. Her heart raced as fast as her legs as the realization struck her that Twilight was now her God, ready and willing to smite her the instant she saw her in her crosshairs. Fluttershy's teammates had come to help, but as she ran to them she saw them fall one by one to Twilight's merciless trigger hoof. Her escape from Sweet Apple Acres was lined with bodies.

Fluttershy ran through Ponyville under a torrent of water squirts and balloons. Several ponies with good throwing arms hit her on her way, causing her to slip and fall.

"Psst!" Fluttershy heard somepony whisper. She turned to see the whispering pony was Pinkie, beckoning her into the alley she was hiding in.

"Oh Pinkie!" Fluttershy was relieved to find a friend on the battlefield. "It's so terrible, I wish I didn't have to fight!"

"Don't worry," she said as she pointed a gun at Fluttershy, "you won't have to suffer much longer."

"P-Pinkie!" she stuttered, "what are you doing?! We're on the same team!"

The party pony's pink coat changed to pure white, her mane lengthened and change to dark blue, and her horn became visible.

"No," said Rarity, "we're not."

Fluttershy's life flashed before her eyes as she looked into the barrel of Rarity's squirt gun. Rarity was her best friend, and now she was being forced to squirt her.

"...I wish it didn't have to be this way," she said. "....goodbye Fluttershy."

"Fluttershy! Get down!"

Fluttershy dropped and covered her head. She heard a series of squirts and saw Rarity bend backwards, dodging all shots fired at her as time seemed to slow down. She did a back flip and returned water before disappearing around the corner of the alley.

"Darn, we missed her!" said the real Pinkie Pie to her platoon of fillies. "Come on, Fluttershy! Let's get outta here!"

Sweetie Belle signaled the all clear, and the ponies exited the alley and ran through Ponyville's deserted streets. They kept their guns ready in case of any straggling enemies. When they reached the end of the street, they could tell something was wrong.

"It's quiet," said Pinkie Pie as a tumbleweed rolled by, "...too quiet..."

Out of the corner of her eye, Pinkie saw a pair of wings move behind the roof of a house. And another, and another. Her eyes widened at the realization that it was an-

"AMBUSH!"

Pinkie pushed Fluttershy and the Crusaders out of the way before the pegasi on the roofs tipped over the pools of water they had set up on each house. Fluttershy gave Pinkie one last look before she was flushed away by the pegasi's ruthless torrent of pool water.

"Tell the world my story! Avenge meeeee...!"

"Come on girls, we have to go!" said Fluttershy. The pegasi overhead would squirt them down, so Fluttershy did the only thing she could think to do: head straight towards the battlefield, where their allies could back them up.

When Fluttershy and the Crusaders got there, their pursuers were greeted with water balloons. However, that was all Fluttershy's team could manage to do. Suddenly, Scootaloo set off a sprinkler mine. Fluttershy was blown back by the sudden rush of water and she hit the muddy ground hard. Her hearing left her and was replaced by a loud ringing in her ears. With her blurry vision she saw ponies running through the field, setting off more sprinklers and flying through the air in slow motion. Bon Bon was wailing cries of sadness holding a sopping-wet Lyra in her hooves. Berry Punch was walking through the battlefield looking for something on the ground. Carrot Top put her squirt gun against her temple and pulled the trigger, falling to the ground with a very wet mane, and Derpy was blowing bubbles through a snorkel. Fluttershy's hearing returned as she looked over to the Crusaders.

"You've done the Crusaders a great service, Scootaloo." said Apple Bloom. Scootaloo coughed up water as her friend held her in her hooves.

"P-Permission to carry out...one last mission sir..?" she asked.

"What is it soldier?" replied Apple Bloom.

"...permission to die sir..." whimpered Scootaloo.

"...Permission granted soldier," said Apple Bloom through firm yet teary eyes, "report to Heaven at 0800 hours and that's an order!"

"I'll tell 'em Princess Celestia sent me." said the shaking filly. "Here I go- OOOOOH! AAAARGH! UWAAUGH!!!!! bleh." groaned Scootaloo as she died dramatically.

"NOOOOOO! SCOOTALOOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Sweetie Belle. She was too busy crying over Scootaloo's giggling corpse to notice one pony aiming a squirt gun at her.

"Sweetie Belle! Noooo!" yelled Apple Bloom as she dived in front of her friend, taking a blast of water right in the chest.

Sweetie Belle quickly picked up her gun and shot the pony before turning to her friend.

"Apple Bloom! I-I'm sorry!" she cried.

"Don't be sorry..." said Apple Bloom with a cough of water, "... be strong."

The last Crusader's rage built up inside her as her friend's eyes fluttered shut. She picked up Apple Bloom's squirter and unleashed her fury on her enemies.

"RAAAAAAAAARGH!" roared Sweetie Belle as she squirted her foes. Her rage took down several enemy ponies before she was brought down by their squirts and landed between her two best friends.

Fluttershy realized the violence would not stop until only one pony stood on the battlefield. Fluttershy did not want to be that pony. She lifted her gun to her mouth with both hooves shaking. This battle had forced her closest friends against each other, and she did not want to be any part of it anymore. She pulled the trigger.

...

The water tasted like metal.

"Fluttershy!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Come on, the other pegasi have rounded up some storm clouds and they're about to make it rain!"

Fluttershy could hear the rumbling of thunder getting closer. As they lifted off the ground, she saw the muddy battlefield  and everypony in it rolling around in the mud. When the rain came, it washed the mud and dirt from their coats. It seemed to cleanse them of all the sins they had committed that day.

Three weeks later, Fluttershy still had night terrors.