Trollestia vs Troll Guy

by Thunder Seethe

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 2821

Mother of god...

Sweetie Belle has a very interesting story to tell her fellow CMC at their little club house during their weekly story telling sessions, and this one is definitely unique. A story about Trollestia and a mysterious figure who has been named, "Troll Guy".

Published 2012-09-06 03:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-06 03:24:02 UTC

Ch. 1 It Begins

Trollestia vs Troll Guy

"Yea, and then Rainbow and I jumped down the mountain, and me, not forgetting about my newly attained awesomeness, I started flying and doing tricks and --"

"Wait... Ya' mean to tell me that you jumped off a cliff knowing you couldn't fly, an' then you flew... I thought this was s'possed to be true stories!" Apple Bloom interrupted, clearly aware that Scootaloo was making the story up.

Scootaloo turned around in the clubhouse facing a wall and pouted, "Well, since you're so good at telling real stories, why don't you go ahead?"

Sweetie Belle just sighed and put a hoof to her head as her two best friends started arguing. "Well, if you guys aren't going to tell a story, then I will." Sweetie Belle started cheerfully. "This one, I assure you, will be interesting... And this is a true story." Sweetie Belle emphasized and turned her head, facing Apple Bloom who just smiled sheepishly. They both looked at each other, and nodded their heads.

Sweetie Belle smiled. "Alright, now here's how it all started..."

It was a normal day in Equestria, and everypony was doing their business - all except one; Trollestia herself.

"Trollestia?" Scootaloo said unconvinced. "Is that some sort of mixture of a troll and Celestia? Are you sure this is a real story... I'm having second-"

"Thoughts." Sweetie Belle finished. "Now I assure you that this is a real story, now if you allow me to continue..."

"Fine, go on." said Apple Bloom motioning her hooves in a circular motion.

Sweetie Belle noted the action, and proceeded with her story, and thankfully, not getting interrupted.

The day was normal, about midday at the time, and Luna was asleep so she could have enough energy to raise the moon, and watch over Equestria when night took its toll. It had just passed noon when suddenly, it turned dark. Confused, Princess Celestia went to her sister, partially enraged, and worried that she may have been repossessed by the evil spirit that turned her into Nightmare Moon.

She walked up the large spiral staircase, and hesitated with each step. Once she finally made her way to the door, instead of barging in, she knocked three times. Four times, then five. It came to the point where it felt awkward to be standing in front of the door knocking, after all, she is a princess and ruler of Equestria. She could do anything she wanted really, so why was she hesitant? She had once sent her sister to the moon with the power of the elements, but now that it doesn't belong to only her, it just doesn't work like that.

Thoughts swarmed her head, thinking of the possible ways to deal with Nightmare Moon, should she even be in the room. If she was, it would certainly lead Equestria to certain doom.

Not wanting any horrors to partake in Equestria, she decided to expose the truth once in for all, and she barged in blindly, not knowing what to expect. What she saw, was something. Not somepony, something.

What was standing there, was not of a body of a pony - or a body really. It was just a head of black and white, and many outlines showing wrinkles, and a devilish smile. She knew what this meant, and she felt an urge inside her take place. Her face began to change and a frown wiped her original expression. Her face began to grow a small wart on her nose. It began to grow, and had a face identical to the other.

Trollestia had formed.

Trollestia observed the room before her, and saw that her sister was still asleep. Nothing had trolled her, so why did she change? She'd never know, but she was stuck in this form until something else occurred to change her back. Not that she minded of course.

She trotted to her sister and just stared at her, making sure nothing had changed or anything suspicious was about. She leaned closer, and through the darkness she could still see everything. Guess that perk of night vision comes with being immortal and all, or maybe needing to raise both the sun and moon for a thousand years. Perhaps, it was because she was a goddess that allowed her to be capable of everything, well, aside for a few things of course.

Once she felt confident that nothing was wrong or misplaced, she concluded that whatever she saw was probably just a figment of her imagination.

Now that her worries faded from her millennium year old mind, she quickly got back to work - with glue and feathers. She used her magic to adjust the glue to a room temperature since it usually comes out of the bottle slightly colder, and set the glue over her sisters fore-hooves. Once one hoof was completely whitened by the glue, she grabbed the other and put it together. She once again used her magic to speed up time to dry the glue quickly, should her sister wake up early. Next, she used a small amount of glue and two feathers and applied it just above her sister's eyes.

Since the feathers were from an alicorn, they were long... Really long. They were also from her sister, so it matched her color perfectly. When she was done, it made a nice unibrow.

Proud of her work, she grabbed a mirror and duct taped it to the ceiling, letting it hang slightly so it was almost directly in front of her face.

She smiled at her work of art. She readied her camera and a few loud percussion instruments. She levitated the instruments well over her height, almost reaching the ceiling, and put the camera up to her eye and focused the picture and readied the flash.

It was set. She dropped the instruments which made a loud clanging on the floor, and Luna's eyes shot open and got up quickly. She hit her head on the mirror making it wobble, then there was a flash. Her eyes became googly for a second, and she fell back down to her pillow. Once her eyes refocused, she looked at her forehoofs which were glued together. She looked back up to the mirror wide-eyed, and discovered that she now had a unibrow.

She looked past the darkness and noticed a figure that looked much like her sister, but with a different face. Tired, and unwilling to care much anymore, she went back to sleep, hoping that this was all just a dream.

The picture developed inside the camera, and spat out the front end revealing a blank picture. It would take a few minutes for the picture to take shape, but when it did, she saw something completely unexpected. Something so... Weird, that it couldn't have been real! Yet, it was the same thing that she had seen earlier. It's black outlining, its shape that represented Trollestia's own head - almost a complete and accurate replica, and of course, it's mischievous smile that swept across much of it's face.

Had Trollestia - the goddess of trolling, just been... Counter-trolled? Surely there must have been a logical explanation for the mistake in the film, but the camera never lies. There couldn't have been a better explanation. There was a new, more experienced, and possibly a threat to all the other trolls.

With disdain, she quickly sought out for the counter-troll and set all of her willpower to troll that thing. She decided to call it the Troll Face for lack of a better word.

She thought that the Troll Face should be in the room, after all, she had just taken the picture no more than thirty seconds ago. The door was shut, and had not seen any light enter the room, so now... Where could it be hiding?

She checked high and low, behind and in front, but with no success. She had met her match. Then, an idea entered her mind. If he's a counter-troll, then he must be lured out by trolling!

Without a second thought, she made her way towards the door with haste, and a large smile. Behind the door should be a large spiral staircase that led to the main room of the castle. Luna specifically asked for this room, no matter how small it was, since it had a nice view of the stars. It was the highest tower of the castle, whereas Celestia's room was in a lower section which had a larger room, and was conveniently placed next to the Throne Room.

The doorknob turned with little sound, and the hinges creaked slightly. She started her way forward in a slightly lighter room, not really looking at the floor since she had walked this staircase many times. She had practically memorized everything about this tower. How many steps? One hundred thirty eight. How many steps would it take to reach the first step from the top floor? Two normal steps.

So as usual, she looked out the window on the right and took two steps forward before making a down-step on the staircase. Having walked this tower millions of times before, she didn't need to look or see through the darkness.

One... Two... Three. She put her forehoof lower, as there was supposed to be a staircase there, but she hit contact early and stumbled on the ground. She looked ahead through the darkened hallway and saw an evil smile. One that only a successful trolling could give. Black outlines, a smile that only Apple Bloom once made. It was also a floating head.

With seething anger, the princess got up and charged immediately towards the face, anxious to give him a trolling he'd never experienced before in a lifetime. One that only an eternity of practice could give!

Then she had a thought. What if he was also a god? A specific god, and not a pony? The god of trolling. The idea entered her mind as fast as it left, and she continued her charge. Only to find out it was a large 3D painting that made it seem he was just right there. At least she found the stairs.

She tumbled down the stairs until the bottom, and was luckily unscathed... Except for the new skid marks she made on the staircase when she --

Trollestia quickly cleaned up the mess, not wanting the maids to get suspicious, and set out to find the Troll Guy, or possibly... The Troll King.

She stopped at that thought. She thought about how the she, the Princess of Equestria and Trolling could possibly be getting out trolled? The answer was simple, but required her to obtain a much deeper thought that even Discord wouldn't dare to go. She simply wasn't thinking ahead of the game. All of her life of Trolling, she had never thought of a way to plan a Troll attack! She would simply just troll her way up whenever there seemed to be an opportunity, of if something set her off.

"Now, it's time to play dirty." Trollestia thought aloud.

With an mischievous smirk, and many ideas flourishing in her mind, she put one hoof forward, not more than a step after, she stepped in something gooey. At first thought, she made the assumption that she missed a spot and had stepped in her own mess. Yet, this was a different type of gooey, and she would know, she had done many trolling attacks with her other homemade messes, which also included her most recent mess.

This was the same thing that she used to troll her sister, not five minutes ago! In fact, this was a special one made by her acquaintance that also lived in the same body as her.

She frantically looked under her wings and every other possible spot where she could have left her glue, and with much failure as well.

"THIS IS MADNESS!--"

Trollestia's scream resembled the Royal Canterlot Voice, but was cut off by a bright flash, and a letter that emerged from floating green ember.

It landed directly in front of Trollestia, and in the rest of the glue. It read,

Dear Princess Celestia,

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOOOLOLLOLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! LOL, TROLOLOLL TROLOLOLOL, TROLL TROLLOLOL.

Your Faithful Student,
Trollolol

Trollestia stared at the paper. Her eyes were widened as much as it could be, she had never seen such literature before! She was so envious! The glamour, the sophistication, one pony could only dream of being this talented!

She stared at the note, and her envy turned to anger. This was from an enemy, not a fan! No matter how much she wanted to smash the notes into millions of pieces, no. She wanted to take a picture of it, then smash it into millions of pieces and send it to the moon. Then again, she would get her other hoofs stuck in the gluey mess.

She stared at it once more as if she was trying to intimidate it, while attempting to free her hoof before the glue completely dried.

Once she got out, she felt an extreme fatigue take over her, and she was drawn out to take a rest in her room... Which was about three doors and many stairs away. Her stomach rumbled, and she had only realized how hungry she really was.

She set out to the kitchen which should have a piece of cake and some pudding left, and if she was lucky, some ice cream. It should only be a few steps this way.

She wondered once again through the darkness, keeping alert for anything suspicious. It was extremely silent, and even the crickets which were far from the castle could be heard, chirping. Her hooves making small clopping sounds on the floor, and the fridge should only be no less than five meters away.

The sound of trumpets were heard. It was soft, almost silent, but the closer she got to the kitchen, the louder it got.

Closer... Closer... It got louder, and she could hear some type of singing now. She liked it, it really pertained to her style of music whatever it was. She was now at the fridge.

It only occurred to her now... Why was it night? When she went up to Luna's room, it was close to mid-afternoon by the time she went upstairs to troll her sister... So why was it night? It's been no more than ten minutes since she was trolling her sister till now! Questions aside, she wanted cake. It'll help her think.

She edged her hoof closer to the door, and the song was still playing somewhere in this castle. She hesitated, and continued only to hesitate once more. For whatever reason, she was afraid that whatever she would find in there would be more that just cake, pudding... Yummy chocolate pudding, and even, just maybe with the slightest chance of hope, a bit of sweet and smooth Rocky Road ice cream.

With haste, she swung the door open and was immediately blown away by the large amount of sound that was hidden in the fridge. It was no longer music that she liked, it was plain horror! The food she was just about to eat, including a new carton of Rocky Road ice cream had flown out of the fridge!

The red and black boom box that was in the fridge continued its song. "Trololololooooooooo! ..."

She whited out.

"What happened next!?" Scootaloo asked, anxiously waiting for an answer.

Sweetie Belle just smirked at her friend. "I have no idea."

Apple Bloom who was right next to Scootaloo, became very frustrated. "What do you mean, I have no idea!? It's your story! You should know what happened next!" Apple Bloom pouted, earning Scootaloo's agreement.

Sweetie Belle just put a hoof up to shush her friends. Once they quieted down, she explained. "If I recall correctly, we're supposed to tell a true story. A true story. So, I did! Unfortunately, I don't know what happens next, and if I told you, well, I'd just be making it up. Well, we've got a long day of crusading tomorrow, we should probably get our rest." Sweetie Belle ended, and attempted to put a smile on her face, even if she was slightly frustrated. The others smiled back after a few seconds of silence.

"I guess you're right." Apple Bloom said cheerfully. "Hey, here's an idea! Maybe we can get our cutie marks by trolling!" She looked at the others for agreement, and soon everypony in the room smiled.

"Yea! Cutie Mark Crusaders Amateur Trolling Team, yea!" The three crusaders ran out of their little clubhouse, all joining in laughter and cheerful attitudes.

And somewhere off in the distance, the Troll Guy resided in the Everfree Forest. With a silent idea and a silent smile, he was ready for his next trolling.