It was noon one hot summer day everywhere in Equestria- well, almost everywhere. In it's bizarre neighbouring dimension, it was pretty hard to tell exactly what time it was, as everything was so... chaotic. Every clock in the dimension either ticked backwards or it’s numbers had been replaced with pictures of fruit. The fruit, on the other hand, danced around the purple-coloured universe while all of the strange plants popped in and out of the ground. Random-looking monsters with eyes where they shouldn’t be floated around in empty space while regurgitating smaller versions of themselves in an endless cycle. It was just another day in Chaosville.
While the dimension was strange, it was home to one particularly odd creature named Discord. The draconequus lived in a floating home smack in the middle of all the weird scenery. He had lived there practically all his life, save for a few thousand years where he was living in the Canterlot gardens as a stone statue- but that was ages ago. Now he was reformed had a ton of friends in the town of Ponyville, most notably the Princess Of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle. But his most favourite friend was a pretty yellow pegasus named Fluttershy. They had spent a lot of time together and Fluttershy was able to forgive the villain no matter how much chaos he caused.
Discord particularly loved the tea parties they had at Fluttershy's cottage every Tuesday. Discord hated the taste of tea at first, but the more time he spent with Fluttershy, the more he warmed up to it. They were usually held at the cottage, except for one instance where Discord tried to host one, but he got carried away trying to make himself look perfect and almost faded away into nothingness, but Fluttershy was able to save him and taught him a lesson about just being himself and- yeah, yeah, you saw the episode.
This week, though, Fluttershy wanted to come back to his house, much to Discord's delight. They were sitting in his living room on his floating chairs, drinking their tea and enjoying all the funny sights in the house. Fluttershy was especially interested in the singing teapots floating around the room. She giggled. "Oh my, Discord, I wish I had tea like this at my house. And your finger sandwiches with actual fingers in them are delightful!" The draconequus chuckled. "Oh, of course. That’s an old family recipe." He snapped his lion paw and immediately the fingers were brought back to the stubs on his dragon claw. "I was wondering where I put those. And I hope you don’t mind the piñata's. I think they might have a cold." Suddenly, a piñata lowered itself from the ceiling and sneezed Candy all over them.
Fluttershy laughed. "Goodness, I just love it here at your house. Everything is so YOU! I wonder what would happen if I brought this stuff to MY house- although I’m not sure Angel and the green tea would get along." She wondered. "Oh no, my dear, these items are much too chaotic for you to handle. Besides, I need to return them to the store anyways. I think the glowing napkins are startling to lose their colour."
Fluttershy sighed. "Oh, okay then... I should probably be getting back to the school. Rockhoof is going to tell us about he helped banish the Sirens into another dimension... I just hope he doesn’t destroy the entire classroom again."
After hugging Discord goodbye and traveling home, Fluttershy sat on her couch at home, looking around at her bland living room. "I HAVE had the room like this for a while- almost nine years, at least! Maybe it’s time for an upgrade." She gasped as an idea came to her. "I know! I’ll make it look just like Discord's! It’ll be so chaotic, he’ll love it! Just like I love him. "
The problem was, Fluttershy was known by the Ponyvillians for being anything but chaotic. Where could she possibly start? "Hmmm..." She flew over to a bookshelf and "accidentally" knocked over an entire row of books. "Oops. I accidentally knocked down all those books! Twilight would hate me for that! That was pretty bad... um, right?” She asked her pet bunny Angel, who had just hopped into the room. He shook his head.
Fluttershy thought for a minute, and then she got an idea and used all her strength to turn over her couch, nearly crushing a squirrel that was scurrying on the carpet. "Oops! Sorry, Jeremy." She said as it zoomed away. Then Fluttershy looked at herself. "Come to think of it, maybe I should change the way I look just like Discord is always doing." Fluttershy flew up into her bedroom, nudging all the pictures on the wall along the way to make them look slightly crooked, and emerged shortly wearing her goth outfit from when she watched over Rarity For You. "This dress will make Discord feel, like, totally devoid of life." She said in a hushed tone. Angel glared at her. "Uh, heh heh. Just kidding. I won’t do that again." She said in her regular voice.
For the next few hours, Fluttershy and her animals worked hard to make the cottage look as un-Fluttershy as possible. Leaving all the windows open, putting fans blowing everywhere, mirrors all over the place to make it look like there were Fluttershy's everywhere, and, even though they never discussed it, Fluttershy knew Discord hated gravity. So she taped a bunch of things to the ceiling to make him feel more comfortable. She also knocked a few things over- just try doing all that while wearing a gothic cape.
When she was done, Fluttershy took a step back and smiled at all she had done. She hardly recognized the place- some of the hummingbirds had even painted the walls zany colours. "Wow, great work, everycreature! The place looks totally awful!" The animals gasped. "Oh, no no no, that’s a good thing!" The animals looked relived and applauded. Fluttershy's stomach growled. "Goodness, all this work has made me hungry! Maybe I’ll have some finger sandwiches!" She looked at her hoof in thought. "Too bad I don’t have any real fingers to spare. Wait a minute, that’s it!" She flew into her kitchen and returned shortly with some Kraft Dinner and some ketchup. "Celestia, forgive me for what I’m about to do." She muttered, before popping open the bottle and splattering it all over two big bowls of the Kraft Dinner. The animals all shrieked in disgust. "Lots of ponies do this, okay?!"
The hard part was eating it. Fluttershy could have starved herself for a week and still not have been able to stomach the stuff- it felt she was eating raw live. But after a while, she got used to it, even eating the bowl she was saving for Discord. "Mmm, yummy!" She exclaimed, patting her belly. "Now I feel SO chaotic! I haven’t felt like this since Discord was evil and he hypnotized me and the girls and- oh my gosh! Discord! I have to invite him over for a tea party." She moved towards the phone but was pulled back by Angel, who pointed at the calendar. "Woah, it’s only been a DAY? Well, I’m sure Discord won’t mind two tea parties in one day. And he’ll probably love the new me, I just know it!"
Angel shrugged. Fluttershy was just playing pretend again, right? What could go wrong?
Author's Note
Seriously guys. Kraft Dinner and ketchup. Try it.
Discord, I Don’t Feel So Good
Discord appeared in front of Fluttershy's cottage with a quick flash of light, scaring away some nearby birds. The draconequus hardly noticed as he held open the scroll Fluttershy sent him in his claws. "That’s strange. Fluttershy usually writes her letters to me in cursive. These letters look like they were dunked in a bucket of tar and beaten up in an alley. This has got to be a prank."
He snapped away the letter and drew a sword from his back, donning a barbarian-like outfit. "So help me, if that Rainbow Dash sprays me with soda when I enter, heads will roll!" He declared, and entered the cottage.
"Hello? I’m here for your special tea party, Fluttershy!" Discord called, looking around the darkened living room and noticing all the changes she had made. "What on Earth happened in here? It looks like an amusement park attraction." He mumbled as he glanced around at the mirrors filling the house, and he then noticed the two bowls on the table and turned his head in disgust. "Ugh! Is that Kraft Dinner and ketchup? Did Fluttershy go mad?" He wondered aloud.
"No, actually, I went hungry." Fluttershy said, suddenly appearing behind him. Discord wasn’t startled by her, until he turned around to give her a hug, and saw what she was WEARING. "Gah, what happened to you? Is it some sort of ridiculous pony holiday where you act as the total opposite of yourself?" Fluttershy giggled. "No, silly. I decided to be like you and host a tea party that’s super chaotic! Just look at what I’ve done with the place!"
Discord squinted as he looked around. "How? I can hardly see!” He snapped his fingers and spawned a ball of light with wings that flew around the room, revealing all the "chaotic " changed the Pegasus made. "Isn’t it wonderful? It’s perfect for our tea party!" Fluttershy said excitedly. "Yeesh. You call this a tea party? It looks more like a funeral reception!" He looked at Fluttershy and saw how hopeful she was and sighed. "I mean, it’s... great. It looks just like my college dorm room."
Fluttershy clapped her hooves. "Yay! I just KNEW you’d love it! And how do I look?" She pulled off a bunch of different poses in an attempt to turn Discord on. "Like a hot goth, right?” Discord just smiled nervously. "Um... of course, dear."
"Well, you must be hungry after the trip over. Why don’t we have a seat?" Fluttershy asked, gesturing to the chairs, which were taped to the ceiling. ”Oh, what a splendid idea!" Discord said as he floated up to a chair. "I’m positively famished! Where are the finger sandwiches?" Fluttershy flew up next to him. "Oh, I decided to make some changes to the menu." She explained. Discord rolled his eyes. "Did you get Pinkie Pie to bring you real fingers?" He mumbled under his breath.
Fluttershy whistled and some magpies quickly presented bowls of cereal to the pair. "Oh, cereal. How nice." Discord said sarcastically. He actually hated cereal, but decided to spare his girlfriends feelings. He snapped his fingers to turn the bowl upside down without being affected by gravity, and then created a silver spoon which hovered in the air. But just one spoonful of the cereal had him on the floor gagging, with his long snake-like body turning s sickly green. "Discord! Are you okay? Did I give you the Blue Fly" Fluttershy asked, flying down to her friend.
"Oh no no no. It’s it’s much safer counterpart, the Green Grime. But for heavens sake, Fluttershy! What did you put in that bowl?" He asked, before the bowl suddenly fell on his head and covered him in warm water.
"Oh, dear. Im sorry, Dissy. I just wanted to be chaotic like you, but I guess I stink at that." She said, suddenly starting to cry as she made large puppy eyes that tugged on Discord's heartstrings... that is if he even had one. "Oh, of course not, sweetheart. My first normal tea party wasn’t a success either, remember?" Discord said, trying to cheer her up. "Now THIS is stinking!"
The draconequus snapped his fingers and immediately Fluttershy's mane turned into a long black-and-white skunk. It jumped off her head and began spraying the room, making it smell stinky... and chaotic. It made Fluttershy giggle as she wiped away her tears. "Wow, now it really looks like your house in here!" She said. "Ooh, that gives me an idea!" She flew out the door and returned momentarily. "Oh, um, excuse me for a minute."
Fluttershy soon returned, with a group of vultures she was taking care of at her sanctuary. She rested them on a chair and motioned fir them to start singing, and when they did, they filled the house with their horrible out of tune screeching. "There, see! It’s just like your ginseng tea... except not as cutesy and stuff."
Discord chuckled as he looked around the room at everything Fluttershy had done. He had to admit, the place DID make him feel at home. Fluttershy had made it look like it had come straight from Chaosville. "Uh, Fluttershy, are you SURE it’s alright for you to be performing all this... er, chaos? It’s just so unnatural. You’re a creature of chaos, and..."
His voice trailed off as he saw Fluttershy tracing slime over the walls in the shape of butterflies like the ones on her cutie mark. "Wait a minute!" Discord stretched his eyes over to the slime and inspected it closely. "Is that the SMOOZE?"
Fluttershy giggled softly. "Um, yes. I hope he doesn’t mind. It probably wasn’t an important part of his body anyways. Now, let’s have some more cereal."
The Pegasus flew over to the table and reached for a bowl of water-coated cereal. But then something strange happened. Instead of wrapping itself around the bowl, her hoof simply went through it like it was magic. "Oh, my." She said. She tried again and again but the bowl wouldn’t let her grab it. "Ooh. Now that’s an interesting spell." Discord said. "You’ll have to show it to me sometime."
Fluttershy looked up at him, eyes wide with horror. "Discord, I’m not doing this!" She needed to figure this out, but she was starting to become annoyed by the vulture's screeching. "Um, Monroe, could you be quiet please?" She flew over and tried to place a hoof on a vulture's shoulder, but instead her hoof went right through it as it kept singing obliviously. "Discord, What’s happening to me?" She cried. "It's like I’m just fading away."
Discord rolled his eyes. "The only thing fading is your spell talent." He snapped his fingers and turned into Star Swirl the Bearded. "Now THIS is a spell." He said in the wizard's booming voice. "No, Discord, it’s not a spell! I’m not even a unicorn, I-" Fluttershy cringed at the loud singing. "MONROE, SHUT UP!" She screamed.
Upon saying these words, Fluttershy saw her body get visibly more transparent. Discord cocked an eyebrow. Okay, this is getting weird,he thought. Since when is the sweet loveable Fluttershy I’m dating such a mean monster?
Fluttershy started to cry. "Why is this happening to me, Discord?" She sobbed. The draconequus teleported to his girlfriend and tried to hug her, but his arms went right through her. She gasped. "Oh no, now I can’t even hug you! This is so... so..."
"Chaotic?" Discord said.
"Oh, shut up." She growled back.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading!
The light Discord uses to see Fluttershy's cottage is a Golden Snitch from Harry Potter.
Anyone remember when we thought Discord was Star Swirl?
