Come and See the Violence Inherent in the System! (Version 2)
Did you see him repressing me?
Author's Note
Redandready45, in association with FIMFiction, presents
Come See the Violence Inherent in the System!
(Системд гарсан хүчирхийллийг үз)
Writing By REDANDREADY45
(бичих)
Editing By REDANDREADY45
(засварлах)
Yak coordination by SIMEOSIG TAKUMIAN
(Wai nut cam do Mongolia)
Yak feeding by CHINGGIS MUNNOKHOI
(See de bootiful dizzerts)
All rights reserved by Hasbro and Lauren Faust.
The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and
any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely
accidental and unintentional.
Signed DONALD J. TRUMP
(A yak once bit my grnandma)
(It was really painful. She wandered around screaming for six weeks in agonizing pain. She was building a yurt when her brother Hulagu, a Mongol nomad and star of many films like "Desert Pleasure," "Drinking my yak milk," "Two herders and a yak are f-")
We apologize for the fault in the
acknowledgements. Those responsible have been
sacked.
(Yak bites can be really painful...)
We apologise again for the fault in the
acknowledgements. Those responsible for sacking
the people who have just been sacked,
have been sacked.
Editing REDANDREADY45
Software MICROSOFT WORD
Yak Maintenance Mongke Borte
Yak Training Batu Hulagu
Yak trained to negotiate land use
agreement and offshore profits Ogadei Tualnabdov
in tax havens
The writers of the story hired to
continue the acknowledgements after the other
people had been sacked, wish it to
be known that they have just been
sacked.
The acknowledgements have been completed
in an entirely different style at great
expense and at the last minute.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
REDANDREADY45 and ALPONSE D. AARDVARK
Assisted by
G. Q. Aardvark
B.J. SMEGMA
P. U. AARDVARK
Edited By
40 SPECIALLY TRAINED
SOUTH AFRICAN MOUNTAIN AARDVARKS
6 BOTSWANAN RED AARDVARKS
142 ANGOLAN WHOOPING AARDVARKS
14 NORTH CHILEAN HYRAXES
(CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)
REG AARDVARK OF BRIXTON
76000 BATTERY AARDVARKS
FROM "AARDVARK-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY
and
REDANDREADY45
Did you see him repressing me?
Twilight and the Elements of Harmony continued their trot through the Everfree Forest, searching for the fabled Tree of Harmony.
"So where are we supposed to find this tree?" Applejack asked.
"I don't know," Princess Twilight said with some frustration.
"Maybe we could find it faster if I flew over the forest," Rainbow Dash offered, her voice, open wings, and stance demonstrating she was eager for adventure.
"Dash, if you fly up you could scalded by one of those rogue storm clouds," Rarity warned. Dash looked up and saw one of those clouds hanging over head. With an annoyed sigh, the blue pony closed her wings.
"Twilight, maybe you have some kind of spell that can lead us to it?" Applejack asked Twilight. Just as Twilight was about to respond, Pinkie Pie pointed one of her hooves in another direction.
"Twilight, Twilight," Pinkie Pie said excitedly. "Look, look, look!"
"What is it Pinkie Pie?" Twilight said in a disinterested tone, pulling out a spell book in the hopes of finding a spell that could lead them to their destination.
"Look, a village full of ponies," Pinkie Pie said happily.
"Yeah, yeah, sure Pinkie," Twilight said in disbelief.
"Twilight," Applejack said. "I see the village too."
"What?" Twilight said, closing the book in disbelief. She saw beyond some trees was a cleared field, with ponies wandering around it, picking stuff off the ground. At the center was an old stone castle on some hill.
"I didn't know there was a village in the middle of Everfree Forest," Rarity said.
"I've been in the Everfree many, many times, and I ain't never seen this village before," Applejack said with confusion.
"None of my maps showed any kind of...village like this," Twilight said with confusion.
"Who cares," Rainbow Dash said with a shrug. "What matters is that these ponies might know where the tree is."
"Rainbow Dash is right," Twilight said. "Let's see what these ponies have to say."
The Bearers trotted up to the village, cautiously optimistic for the answers they sought. But as they got closer, they realized the creatures before them were not ponies.
"Twilight, what are those....things?" Rainbow Dash asked with concern.
"I don't know," Princess Twilight said. The Princess of Friendship looked to her yellow friend for guidance.
"I've never heard of these creatures before," Fluttershy said with a small shrug.
The creatures were bipedal ape-like creatures who shared the same ruddy skin on their faces. They all had triangular noses, no muzzles, pink lips, and were covered head to hoof in filthy, soil-stained rags that were worn in medieval times.
"Have these creatures never been to a boutique," Rarity said with mild disgust. "These rags look just awful...are they doing what I think they are doing?"
The ape-like creatures were picking up dirt and feces and collecting them into piles. Rarity and the others wretched in disgust at these creatures.
"Oh sweet Celestia, they are positively grotesque," Rarity in a horrified tone.
"Hey, how dare you," Pinkie Pie said in an insulted tone. "I worked on a rock farm. These...monkey things are no different."
"You harvested rocks, Pinkie Pie," Rarity threw back.
"Mud is kind of...gooey rock," Pinkie Pie said uneasily.
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is."
"Isn't."
"Is!"
"ISN'T!"
"Guys," Twilight Sparkle said with some disgust, ending the argument between the fashion lover and party pony. "Look, we need directions. If these creatures live here, they might be able to tell us. Or whoever lives in that castle. I'll go talk to them. I am a princess after all."
"Good luck," Applejack said. Twilight Sparkle trotted into the village and approached one of the ape things that was pulling a wagon. The creature, based off its posture and exhaustion, looked old.
"Excuse me...ma'am?"
"Sir," the creature said was tugging some cart.
"Sorry, from behind you looked like-".
"Dennis," the creature barked.
"What?"
"My name is Dennis," the man said, putting down his cart, "titles are an outdated construct that promote division of classes."
"I'm sorry," Twilight said in confusion. Dennis turned around, only to look at her with shock.
"What are you supposed to be?!" The creature said with sheer annoyance.
"Uh...a pony," Twilight said with confusion.
"Right sure," Dennis said with disbelief, his face twisted into utter disgust, "you're a hoax!"
"A what?"
"A sham, a simulation, a farcical pretension," the ape-like being complained, "you're probably some animatronic designed to promote a cryptozoological hoax."
"You've lived here all your life and you've never seen a pony?" Twilight asked incredulously.
"You're probably some git hiding in the bushes with a remote control," Dennis continued.
"I'm not a robot!" Twilight said with some frustration. She started levitating in the air with her wings. "See, I'm clearly flying in the air. There are no wires-,"
"Oh please," the man said disdainfully, "that wing span could not possibly support a being that size."
"What?"
"The wings are clearly too small to support your body size," the creature said.
"No they aren't," Twilight protested.
"Yes they are," the creature argued.
"They are."
"Aren't."
"Are."
"Magic grants me the ability to hover," Twilight protested.
"That's not an explanation," Dennis said with annoyance, "that's just a copout."
"No it isn't," Twilight protested.
"Yes it is," the peasant-creature said.
"No it isn't," Twilight said.
"Saying 'something happens because of magic," the creature replied furiously, "promotes outdated dogma and retards the advancement of society."
"No it doesn't," Twilight said.
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't," Twilight said, "magic is a real phenomena-,"
"Um Twilight," Rainbow interrupted, "I hate to interrupt, but we have to find that tree."
"But I was really getting into this," Twilight claimed, "and-,"
"Oh look," the creature said disdainfully while eying Rainbow Dash, "another one of your animatronics."
"Look," Rainbow said while facehoofing, "can we just get the directions to the Tree of Harmony."
"Tree of what?"
"The Tree of Harmony," Twilight said.
"What's the Tree of Harmony," Dennis asked her.
"The Tree of Harmony is a tree that is the source of magic protecting Equestria against evil," Twilight said. Rainbow groaned as Twilight began her lecture mode again. "From it all magic, hope, and goodness arise. It is where Harmony and the Magic of Friendship arise."
"Listen," Dennis said. "Strange plants producing magical laser beams is no basis for the structure of society."
"What are you going on about now?" Rainbow Dash groaned.
"You can't claim that some trumped up turnip can defend against evil, which is often a social construct determined by the ruling class."
"Shut up and give us directions," Rainbow Dash said.
"I mean if told everyone some fancy shrub could somehow defend society, I'd be laughed out of town," Dennis argued.
"Shut up!" Rainbow Dash said, lightly punching the ape-thing with her hooves.
"Now we see the violence inherent in the system," Dennis said, even as Rainbow laid blows on her.
"BE QUIET!"
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!" Dennis argued to his nearby ape creatures."
"Idiot!" Rainbow groaned before flying back to her friends.
Realizing she wasn't going to get any answers out of the ape creature, Twilight let out a sigh and turned back to her friends. Before Twilight could trot away, she heard the sound of sirens on the horizon. She and the other peasants turned around and saw a bunch of weird pony-less carriages that seemed to drive themselves approaching
"What is going on now?" Twilight asked with annoyance as the carriages stopped in front of them. The carriages had "police" written on them. Out stepped more of the monkey creatures. They were far better dressed and groomed than the peasants. Their uniforms and badges implied that they were in some kind of law enforcement. One man with a peaked hat stepped forward.
"You are all under arrest," the officer said in a loud voice.
"For what?" Twilight asked with disbelief.
"This crossover fanfiction is a violation of copyright laws as signed under the Berne Convention of 1886," the officer said robotically to the pony princess. More and more police officers stepped out and began arresting the peasants and dragging them to the vehicles. "This was written without permission of either Hasbro or Monty Python and is thus a fragrant infringement-,"
"Wait a second you pompous little bobby," the ape-thing said in a rage, walking up to the officer. "This isn't copyright infringement. This fanfiction is protected under fair use."
"No it isn't," the officer protested.
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't."
"It is."
"Isn't."
"It is."
"It isn't."
"Yes it is," Dennis argued. "This is a parody fanfiction of a well-known pop-cultural moment, not a commercial reproduction of an existing, copyrighted work. Parody is covered under fair use."
"No it isn't," the officer.
"Yes it is," Dennis said.
With a tired sigh, Twilight used the bizarre argument between Dennis and the officer to sneak away and back to her friends.
"Did you get directions," Pinkie Pie asked Twilight as she returned.
"On second thought guys lets not look in the Everfree Forest, it is a silly place," Twilight said tiredly to her friends.
"After the legendary 2 hour argument, the police decided to arrest Redandready45, imprisoning him in the Tower of London for his blatant violation of copyright law," A Famous Historian said as he stood in a field, "Redandready45 was never seen again...until he was seen two weeks later juggling herrings at a fish and chip shop in Newcastle."
"Meanwhile, the Bearers continued their journey, and faced with danger," the Historian continued, "were forced with a heartwrenching choice of leaving the Princess behind to protect Equestria or journeying together as friends-,"
A Famous Historian was blown to smithereens, leaving behind nothing but his shoes.
"This demonstrates the value of not being seen," the narrator said.
