Author's Note

”You Don’t Get To Hate Yourself. Not With Me Around...”

-Anonymous

Intermission VIII - The Farmer, The Fashionista, & The Loud Mouth

THREE WEEKS AFTER THE FRIENDSHIP GAMES EVENT

"I'm sorry nigga, come again?"

"It's quite obvious darling. I've decided to try out clothing for men, and you were my only option. I'd called Noah to ask for some help, but he was unavailable. I asked for your other friends through him, and they were busy as well. All except for you, CJ."

"But I'm not gay."

"You don't have to be a homosexual to be a model darling. That's also quite offensive, so refrain from saying such things before we receive nasty comments and dislikes."

CJ sat on Rarity's designer swivel chair as she explained to him what events had occurred to lead to this. As said earlier, Rarity had chosen to begin designs for men as well, but she needed help as the girls simply wouldn't work. She needed a boy.

She'd asked Noah earlier for help, but he and Sunset were busy finding a new bedroom door and bed after they lost their virginity to each other two weeks ago. Despite Noah's predicament, they'd denied any and all regret for what happened in that room.

She'd asked about Noah's other friends, the Black Five, but most of them were busy handling their own situations. Fall was busy figuring out what to do with a ten million dollar tugboat. Manex was busy catching up in class. And Jain had been making several excuses as a way to hang out more with the arrogant yet laughably unaware Rainbow Dash. Leaving her with CJ.

In all honesty, CJ was the last boy she wanted to use. She was hoping Fall would show up as she was highly intrigued with how calm, collected, and kind he was. He reminded her of Fluttershy if she was a boy.

She'd also settle for Jain or Manex. Jain was like Noah and Flash combined, and she was interested in how he would act towards a girl all alone. And Manex was quite simple. Doing whatever needed to be done, and helping as much as he could. Even if he didn't want to.

But CJ? CJ was something else entirely. He was awfully rude, inconsiderate, and above all else, vulgar. Noah claimed he always managed to squeeze in a sexual comment or, "roast," as he called it. From what Rarity had seen personally, CJ wasn't at all inconsiderate. But he wasn't always like so.

Rarity remembered the squabble between the Rainbooms and the Black Five during the Battle of the Bands. Of course, the Black Five had changed since then, but the memory still hurt at times. Especially from CJ.

What he'd said to Applejack might as well have prompted a blood vessel to burst in her eye. She had difficult times speaking to him whenever they'd have to work together since they shared many classes. But Applejack, fortunately, was always around to ease up tensions.

But in general, Rarity hadn't a place in her heart for him. And the fact that she had to resort to asking him for assistance almost made her blood boil. She'd rather have Snips and Snails inside her house than him.

CJ shrugged, "Okay then I guess. So I have to wear shit for you and whatnot? Is this gonna take long nigga? No hate, but I genuinely have better things to do."

Rarity furrowed her eyebrows, "I must measure you before I get started, of course. Which shouldn't take long at all. As long as you're cooperative."

"Yeah, sure. Grab that tape measurer and go crazy nigga."

Rarity sighed, This is gonna be a long day...

...

"So, is fashion and shit just your passion? Y'know, making clothing and designing it, yada yada yada, has this just been your dream nigga?"

Rarity sighed as she straightened her glasses, "Indeed. Though it is fairly... complicated. I'd rather avoid a major back story and simply continue with my work."

"A'ight nigga."

Rarity frowned. He'd said that word again. Nigga. Rarity hadn't a clue what it meant, but it drove her crazy. CJ and his friends just spat that word up, down, and all-around almost every sentence they spoke. Especially him.

She'd understand if it was his culture or if there was a historical reason to it, but they just constantly repeat it. Over and over and over. She wasn't sure if the other girls felt the same, but something about that word just personally made her blood boil.

"So nigga, I was thinking-"

"I, was also thinking, CJ. I've already measured you perfectly. Along with the fact that it takes time to make clothing. Especially ones as magnificent as mine. So I was wondering... why haven't you left yet?"

Rarity hadn't realized it yet, but she'd just reignited a conflict between the two that would not end well if treated improperly. CJ sat up from her bed and narrowed his eyebrows.

"Okay nigga, is that what this is? I thought after my friends and I helped you save the planet, twice, that you'd put our beef behind us. Instead, you still feel the need to bitch and moan after I considered us something like friends."

"I do, but not you! I would've chosen any other of your friends, even Manex, but instead, I got you. The one who hates everything and everyone. The loudmouth that can't zip it for five seconds!"

"I was just having a friendly chat!"

"Well, I don't consider a chat a legitimate chat where the word, "nigga," is simply thrown around haphazardly! Is that the sole word in your vocabulary?! Sure, Noah may swear an awful lot, but my word does he sound smarter than you! It's comparable to talking to a fucking child! A dense, black child!"

CJ flinched as Rarity slammed her fist against the table before her outburst. He felt his eyes constrict with a feeling that wasn't anger, but something he'd rarely ever felt. CJ stood up from the bed and made his way to the door.

He closed the door behind him gently, and Rarity returned to her desk. She set an elbow on the table and her hand covered half her mouth. She knew she'd done something wrong, but she was also in denial.

I-I wasn't being rude, I was just stressed out. Y-Yeah, Noah'll talk to him and... Noah... argh...

Sighing, Rarity immediately stood up from her chair and swung the door open. Just before CJ reached the steps, Rarity called out to him. "CJ! W-Wait! Come back! I apologize for my behavior! It wasn't proper!"

Ignoring her believing she was lying, CJ continued down the steps. Rarity groaned and promptly followed after him. As she reached halfway down the steps, she placed a hand on CJ's shoulder and made him face her.

"CJ, I... I... My word, CJ are you crying?"

Rarity was correct. CJ indeed had a tear falling down his left cheek, but his face only showed anger. He pulled at his hands to escape her grip, but Rarity tightened. All that work on clothing did wonders.

CJ scoffed, "Fuck off, it's none of your business. I'm a dumb little nigger, remember!? Go to hell!"

CJ snatched at his hands from Rarity with such force, Rarity yelped and held her wrist beneath her arms. CJ wiped the tear from his face, stomped towards the front door, yanked it open, and slammed it shut behind him.

All the while, Rarity was left in a daze of utter bewilderment. Not once in her life had she'd seen other members of the Black Five cry besides Noah. Especially CJ. Not to mention what he'd said dumbfounded her. Indeed, Rarity insulted him based on his color, but he seemed to take it dramatically. But something about his wording made her wonder.

"'Dumb little nigger?' What does that mean?"

"Do you enjoy working on this farm?"

"I mean, why wouldn't ah? Ah love this farm."

CJ sat and stared at what may be the most beautiful apple he'd ever seen while Applejack continued picking apples from a tree at the top of a ladder. An hour had passed since CJ's confrontation with Rarity, and it seemed Applejack hadn't received the news. From her phone, and CJ.

After his temper blew from not being able to return to America, Applejack had offered him to come around whenever he fancied. Today was the first time he'd arrived, and he found himself unusually relaxed.

There was something about Sweet Apple Acres that lured him in. It called to him as he approached. Like he belonged there. But the truth would undoubtedly say otherwise. And at this point, only half of him agreed.

Applejack had insisted on CJ helping around the farm with whatever she required. That, or simply rest in a tree to get over whatever he was feeling. On any other day, his indolence would direct him to the highest tree in the orchard. Today, quite obviously, was different.

Applejack dropped another apple into the basket, and CJ flipped the apple he held inside as well. Applejack looked down upon him and was left dumbfounded. Of all the days Applejack ever had the pleasure to lay her eyes upon the Loud Mouth, this one was the most peculiar.

"So uh... If Ah may... What's the problem, CJ? Ya look lower than an ankle bracelet on a flat-footed pygmy."

CJ crossed his arms, "I uh... Shit happens, I guess. And... I honestly just... Applejack, have you ever been judged based on your appearance?"

"Mah appearance? Well, sure. Ah was made fun of a bunch of times in sixth grade for dressin' and soundin' the way Ah did-"

"No nigga, I mean like... like your skin color."

"Mah skin color? I-I, what do ya mean?"

CJ stood up, "I mean as in the literal color of your skin. In this case, orange. Have people ever treated you differently based upon it? It doesn't even have to be a situation where they're rude. Has that ever happened?"

Applejack searched her mind, "N-No... No, Ah don't think so. Why do ya ask?"

CJ ran a hand through his hair, "Well, you know how Noah's always cracking jokes about officers?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there's a reason for that. Believe it or not AJ, America could only dream to be like Equis. It has less crime, beautiful scenery all around, and the economy isn't absolute shit. But most importantly, it has kinder people."

"What do ya mean? People aren't kind in America?"

"People like to believe there's good, but there isn't. Along with the fact that so many people don't see the problem. Especially because they are the problem. Now, I don't wanna get political and shit, but almost everyone in America is at each other's throats.

"Everyone has an opposite that all tracks back to our past. I don't wanna drop the whole fuckin' concept, er, history lesson on you, but basically, America is full of people across the world.

"Some people colonized it, while others had it stolen from them and others were transported to it against their will. That, un-fuckin'-fortunately, is all I can remember. History class was a bitch."

Applejack slid down the ladder, "Transported against their will? Like, they were forced to?"

"Yep, it's the dumbest shit. Like I said, not gonna get into detail, but because of what's occurred in the past, it has heavily affected the future. It's been affecting us for three to four centuries."

Applejack's jaw dropped, "Up to four hundred years?! Ya better not be lyin', because Ah can see right through ya!"

"You can ask Noah and the others, I'm not lying. Shit's fucked over there. And people, sadly, can't see the truth. Sure, people have every right to have an opinion on someone or a group, but you can't base that hate on everyone.

"It's become this idea that if someone is from a certain group, or in this case, has a skin color similar to a mass amount of people, that they're just like all the others. The others being the ones who give said amount of people a bad name.

"Politicians, teachers, border patrollers, even officers. Which could obviously result in horrid things. And you'd be surprised just how many horrid things have occurred. Notoriously horrid things."

Applejack took a seat next to CJ and let him continue as she removed her hat from atop her head. CJ was normally the type of person to talk more bizarre, or how Noah termed it, ghetto, than normal. And yet, he was speaking entirely like Noah. Like he hid a part of himself that's smarter than presumed.

CJ continued, "Because of these occurrences, our society has only grown worse and worse. Understandably, it's normal to say certain things about certain people, but not entire races. And because of this hate in their heart, they only make our society worse and worse. I-"

Applejack laid a hand on top of CJ's shoulder, "CJ, c'mon now. There's no need to have thoughts about terrible things like that. What happens in America should stay in America for the better. And just from the sound of it, it seems livin' here may be the smarter choice. Regardless if that was your home."

"Oh, uh... I guess that would be smarter to think. I just... I may have had a bit of a dumbass argument with one of our friends, and... I may have let something slip. Something from... well... America."

Applejack tilted her head, "Well, what was it that you let slip?"

"I... Applejack, do you hate me?"

Applejack shook her head, "Of course not! Sure, we may not have been even acquaintances back then, but that's the past. From that day forward, when we saved the galaxy, Ah considered you one of my best friends. Because despite not knowin' a thing about ya, and what you've said in the past, any friend of Noah is a friend of mine.

"Ah may've only known Noah from his disputes with Sunset in the past and thought of him as a male version of her from somewhere outside, but when Ah got to know him during and after the Battle of the Bands, Ah learned there was more to him. That there was a compassionate yet humorously rude leader inside.

"And if that leader considers you the reason he still walks this planet, then that must mean there's a compassionate yet humorously rude leader inside of you as well. A leader Ah'm willin' to follow to the end of it all."

CJ crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows, "Well... then why didn't they see that..."

"Who's they-"

"Applejack! Cejel! Come on inside! Granny made apple fritters today! Ya better hurry before the girls and I eat them all! Or Big Mac!"

CJ promptly stood up and faced the voice who called out. Unquestionably, it was Applejack's younger sister, Applebloom, calling from inside. Seeing a way out, CJ started away from the tree and inside AJ's house.

"Oh shit nigga, we gotta go in. Grab them apples or leave 'em, we'll be back for them and shit later. Ooo, I can smell those motherfuckers from here! Mmmm, goddamn it! That shit smells delicious!"

And just like that, CJ returned to his natural state. His ghetto language and behavior replacing what he displayed earlier like it was a glitch in the Matrix. Applejack was left absolutely bewildered as he sprinted towards the house, ultimately leaving many questions unanswered.

She haphazardly returned her stetson to its rightful place and began after him. Her head was full of questions, but also major irritation. If there was anything the Element of Honesty hated, it's being left in the dark. As she lifted the bucket and sighed, she thought to herself.

Who's, "They?"

"A'ight, I'll see you some other time AJ."

"Ah hope that time comes soon. You're always welcome here, got it?"

"Gotcha."

CJ shut the door to his sedan as the evening shortly came to an end. Despite earlier, AJ hadn't been able to figure out what CJ had let slip. At Rarity's and earlier at the orchard.

Hoping it wasn't anything serious, Applejack had decided to let it go. If CJ would go to such extents as to keep it a secret, then it's only fair not to pry. Although, she couldn't lie about the idea of CJ, of all people, having a secret.

Applejack rested her arms on the window frame as CJ attempted to ignite the sedan, "You drive safe now, ya hear? The last thing we need is a student slash best friend dyin' before our graduation."

Oh, you have no idea.

CJ nodded, "Got it my nigga. Just don't-"

"Wait!"

Applejack poked her head out of the car and turned her attention to the left. Coming up the trail followed by a major amount of dust was none other than Rarity in her BMW knockoff. Applejack raised an eyebrow and stood away from CJ's car.

"Is that... Rarity?"

"Rarity?! Shit nigga!"

CJ continued to ignite the sedan rapidly. Applejack turned back to him as he began stomping on the gas pedal and took a step back. "CJ, what's ya problem?"

Rarity came around CJ's car and parked in front of him. She then yanked her keys out, unbuckled herself, quickly pushed the door open, and approached CJ by his side of his car. Admitting defeat, CJ threw his hands into the air carelessly, let them fall back down and stared at the ceiling with his head against the seat.

"CJ! Listen! I-I didn't mean to say what I did back at my house! I-I was stressed! Please don't be mad at me! Noah'll kill me if he finds out I ruined a friendship so quickly out of petty anger!"

Applejack came around the sedan and approached Rarity, "Slow it down, sugar cube. What in the hay are ya talking about? What happened back at ya house?"

"Well, I asked Noah about any of his friends that could help me work on my new outfits for men, and the only one available was CJ! I let slip certain things a lady should never say, and he left in tears and anger!"

"Tears? Rarity, what the he-"

Suddenly, CJ pushed open his door, stepped out, and took a seat on the hood. "I know what you're gonna ask-"

"Darn right Ah'm gonna ask! What happened back there?!"

CJ sighed, "We were at Rarity's house, like she said, and she said stupid shit that pissed me off. So I left the room and started to leave the house before she stopped me. That's when I let something slip."

Rarity took a step forward, "And I'm indubitably remorseful for my actions. Please, don't think I don't understand why Noah has you as a friend, I just got so worked up with your behavior. But that's not a reason as you weren't doing anything wrong! But if I may, what was it you said back there?

"I know it's not my place to ask, but I feel horrible! As if I struck an unpleasant cord! Just... W-What was it that you said back there? What does it mean?"

CJ looked away from the girls and gazed at the rising moon. He crossed his arms, "Noah isn't the only one with a shitty backstory. I know his is much worse than mine, but sometimes I can't help but get irritated."

Applejack tilted her head, "Backstory?"

"Nearly two decades ago, back when I was born and lived as a child, I had two... parents. I say it like that because as I look back, I wonder if they were even my parents at all.

"You see, I grew up in a shitty home. No siblings, no grandparents, no aunts, uncles, or even pets. It was just me, my mother, and my father. We lived in Harlem, Chicago, and I spent most of my time being homeschooled.

"My Father's name was Louis Ruckus, and my Mother's name was Christina Ruckus. As you can tell, we were the Ruckus family. And to this day, I abhor that name with every fiber of my being.

"The reason being my parents. They weren't ordinary, and they hated almost every goddamn thing I did. Whether it was eating, drinking, or playing with toys, they always thought I was doing it wrong. Those black basterds. Or as they thought of themselves, white."

Rarity raised an eyebrow while Applejack felt dots connect in her head. CJ continued, "My parents were defined as the worst type of person you could be. An Uncle Tom."

Rarity tilted her head, "What in the world is an Uncle Tom?"

"An Uncle Tom is a person regarded as betraying their cultural or social allegiance. Or in this case, a black person considered to be excessively obedient or servile to white people.

"My parents were this multiplied by a factor of four hundred and twenty. They had posters of famous racists up on the walls. They worked for the white man, they praised the white man, they even prayed to the white man. As if they were gods."

CJ's face began to glow red with rage, "Those nappy-headed shit stains judged every goddamn thing I did! They judged me for how I ate, they judged me for how I played, they even judged me for how I slept! And every fuckin' time they did, they hit me with a motherfuckin' hanger! They never even called me by my name!"

"You must eat like a white boy, little nigger! You must pray to the white man, little nigger! Why do you sleep like that, little nigger!? I know I didn't raise a waste of human trash, little nigger! You gonna flunk outta school and never get a job too little nigger?!

"I started hating myself! Thinking I was just some stupid, worthless, motherfuckin' dipshit! I hated everything I did! I watched how white boys played to act like them! I watched how white boys ate to act like them! I even painted myself white on the first day of middle school so I'd be accepted! I became a fuckin' laughing-stock until I started bullying other black kids because of their skin!"

"I once owned the school similar to Sunset until I was taken down in the eighth grade by a fuckin' white boy! The irony in that is maddening! I just couldn't think straight! I ran away from home after that day bringing with me my Father's gun that he hid.

"Once I shut that door, I just kept running. Running and running and running and running! I felt like my feet would never stop! Like I could just run until it was all over... It was only half a day later did I find myself in that orphanage. It was almost like I teleported.

"Even when I ended up there, it was only when Noah showed up did he show me how much people matter. Regardless of the color of their skin. It's why I see him as a leader. And even after three years, I still don't think I'm ready to leave him behind."

Applejack's stetson laid upside down as she dropped it earlier when her face contorted into misery. As for Rarity, she'd felt like she just lost her entire home. A feeling she hadn't felt before.

Rarity looked away, "So that's why you acted the way you did when I said what I said. CJ I'm... I-I'm indescribably sorry. I... I never should've said what I said. I should've been more proper and understanding, I... I had no idea.

"I just... I was too focused on my upcoming wardrobe that I'd completely forgotten that you were an orphan and that there was unmistakably a reason for that. I-I should've used my head. Please! CJ, darling, I apologize!"

Applejack took a step forward, "CJ... you know that's all in the past, right? Whatever happened back then, you're free to leave it there forever. Nobody's forcin' you to go back, and nobody's forcin' you to relive those memories.

"Here in Equis, whether you believe it or not, we're your friends. Rarity may have let somethin' slip, but you know how she is when it comes to her dresses. I'm sure she didn't mean it, and whatever she was thinkin' wasn't true.

"And whenever those memories or thoughts begin to creep up inside, just... remember what I said today."

"And that would be?"

Applejack scoffed jokingly before approaching him closer and taking a seat on the sedan's hood next to him. Following suit, Rarity came around the back of the sedan and took a seat next to him on the other side. She brought him into a hug out of remorse and Applejack brought an arm over his shoulders.

"What happens in America, stays in America."