Author's Note

For Once, We’re Not Talking About Porn...

God, this process was a pain in the ass...

PART 3: XVIII - Down The Rabbit Cave

"Okay, gotta find me a moron... In a tunnel... With siblings that probably knocked him unconscious... Violently... Well, this is gonna be a bother..."

Sunset Shimmer stood alone afar from the dock and near one of the staff buildings. Not sure where or how to start her search for her stupid yet selfless best friend slash boyfriend.

She rubbed her chin as she inspected the woods, "There's gotta be something I can use to get started. The last time we went into the forest with nothing to go on, all we found was a dead deer... W-Wait, am I talking to my-"

"Of course you just had to tell them that ridiculous story!"

Sunset turned her attention to the nearby staff building. Her ears flared as she heard rather muffled yelling. Like someone was scolding another for doing something silly. Her eyes squinted, suspicious, as she approached the building to listen closer.

"Oh for crying out loud, I knew this was too much for you! You're bursting at the seams like a century-old couch! You need to drop this!"

Sunset whispered, "Sounds like Gloriosa and her brother. I knew those two were up to something. But what could it be? The camp maybe- ow!"

Sunset was interrupted promptly as the door to her side swung open and smacked her in the face. The siblings stepped out of the building and down the stairs. Where? Sunset hadn't a clue.

She pushed the door closed, irritated, and pinched her nose as it took much of the impact. She cursed, "Ow! Goddamn it! Why the hell does this shit happen to me?! ...Wow, I am a hypocrite. Stupid Noah and his stupid influential American crap..."

Sunset stepped down from the stairs of the building and tried to catch either of the siblings, but failed. She sighed, "You've gotta be kidding me. How am I supposed to-"

"Hey, Sunset!"

Caught off guard and puzzled, Sunset turned to her left towards the voice whom had called. She raised an eyebrow as the one calling and approaching was none other than the perfect highschool boy stereotype, Flash Sentry.

She let go of her nose, "Flash?"

"Yeah, it's me. What were you doing near the staff building?"

"Uh... Looking for... Uh... Stuff?"

"...O—kay... Hey, uh, can I say something?"

Sunset shrugged, slightly amused Flash didn't care at all for what she could've been doing. "Sure, shoot."

"I uh... I wanted to thank you."

"Come again?"

"For the tough love. Telling me I should move on from Twilight was really helpful. I needed to hear that."

"Oh, tha—t! Yeah, yeah, I-I did do that! You're welcome."

"You sound like you forgot about it."

Sunset held her arms behind her, "No! N-No, no... The author just didn't write it, I guess..."

"What?"

"Nothing! Carry on."

"You haven't been acting like... Yourself lately."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious..."

"What, I-I," Flash sighed, "See? Sunset, I don't know if you take me as an ignorant moron, but as someone who's forgiven you, I think Noah's been taking a toll on you."

Sunset tilted her head, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that, well, Sunset, what did you do after the Fall Formal?"

Sunset shrugged, "Built an entire school entrance for nearly a month straight with no help whatsoever whilst crying about every mistake I've ever made in my entire life."

"Exactly. And what did you do after the Battle of the Bands?"

"Uh, visited Noah's house, spent Halloween with him at the mall, spent this holiday of his called, "Thanksgiving," with him at his house, spent Christmas with him at an arcade, spent New Year's with him at AJ's..."

Flash crossed his arms, "Do you see what I mean?"

"Flash, aren't you still technically rivals with Noah? Why do you care if I'm hanging out with him? You want me to stop and start hanging out with you?"

"N-No, no, that's not what I'm saying... Kinda, besides! Noah and I cleared up our rivalry, it doesn't really exist anymore."

"How?"

"We made a penis joke together."

Sunset facepalmed, "Go figure..."

Flash rubbed the back of his head, "Look, I just think that maybe Noah has been..."

Unawaringly, Sunset tuned out what Flash was going on about as she spotted Gloriosa's brother, Timber, stealthfully entering the woods. Checking his right and left to make sure nobody was watching him.

She smiled, "Hey, yes, Flash, whatever you're going on about, I'll definitely come back to, and we can talk about this after I find the black moron. Okay?"

"I-"

"Great," Sunset cut off, as she immediately began after Timber. Following him into the forest, wherever his destination may be, and leaving Flash standing like a nitwit.

He stuttered, "W-What just happened?"
...

"So, you're just gonna sit in this tent until the end of the trip, Twilight?"

"We can't take any chances, Spike. You should know that by now."

"Well, I do, but I also find it really boring."

"Of course you do..."

Sitting inside her and Sunset's tent was none other than the notorious purple nerd, Twilight Sparkle, and her simple yet kind-hearted purple dog, Spike.

The two sat upon her bed reading another one of Twilight's books, whilst her dog chewed at his... stick and stones.

She rolled her eyes, "Spike, why do you always have to lick yourself when I'm around? It's disgusting!"

"What? You want me to do it near Rarity? Actually... Maybe that wouldn't be so bad..."

"That's revolting, Spike."

"Your ringing, by the way."

Twilight blushed immensely, "Spike! What the fu-"

"I'm talking about your phone! Relax!" Spike replied, even scrambling to his feet as Twilight made a fist.

She turned to her draw and was taken aback. Her phone was ringing. Slightly confused, Twilight raised her phone, read the caller ID, and tilted her head. It was Sunset.

"Why's Sunset calling? Did something happen?"

"Spike sat, "I dunno. See what she wants?"

Nodding, Twilight tapped the green symbol of a phone on the touchscreen and answered. "Hello? Sunset?"

"Yeah, it's me Twilight. You didn't read the caller ID?"

"I... No."

"O—Kay... Well, anyway, I need you to use the map from our group chat app and to come to me. Now. I found something."

"Found what?"

"Long story short, Timber and Gloriosa are up to something, but they seem conflicted about. I followed Timber into the woods when he tried to sneak away, and he lead me to this cave that goes under the surface."

Twilight raised an eyebrow as she turned back to Spike. "What, like a rabbit hole?"

"No, it's just this giant cave that goes into the dirt for some reason. I-I don't think they made it, either. I think it was formed."

"Yeah, like a rabbit hole."

"N-No, Twilight, this is a cave. With rocks and stuff."

"But it's still a hole, making it a rabbit hole since it's formed or built like that."

"Twilight, I-I, i-it's a cave! What are you missing?"

"Hey, I'm the smart one! And by scientific definition, you are looking at a rabbit hole. Not, a cave."

"What, Twilight, it's made of rock! What, you think a giant rabbit made it or something?"

Twilight stared at her hands, "We live in Equestria. I'm pretty sure giant rabbits aren't off the table. At all. It's a rabbit hole."

"No, Twilight, I-I, it's a cave. C-A-V-E, cave!"

"I know what a cave is, you jackass... W-Wait, what did I just say-"

"Twilight! Rabbit holes go under and are surrounded by dirt. This hole is surrounded by rock. Making it a cave."

"Okay, but it still goes into the ground horizontally slanted. Making it a rabbit hole."

"Just get the fuck over here."

"Wait, what?"

"..."

"Hello?"

Twilight pulled the phone away from the side of her head and groaned. Sunset had hung up on her. She turned her attention to Spike once again and found him with the flattest face she never thought a dog could produce.

He spoke, "Did you just have an argument about caves versus rabbit holes over the phone with Sunset?"

She began to sweat, "Uh... Yes?"

He sighed, "Twilight, I appreciate you taking me in and caring for me for over seven years now. Feeding me, giving someplace to sleep, and above all else, just loving me." Spike hopped from the bed, "But can I just say this?"

"What?"

"You are an absolute idiot."

"I'm here!"

Sunset turned about as she stopped scrolling her phone to find both Twilight and Spike coming to a stop as they approached her. Sunset shut her phone and stuck it in her back pocket.

She smiled, "You made it. Good, I was starting to get worried."

Twilight shrugged, "Yeah, well, that's what they all say, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess they do. I see you brought Spike."

Twilight froze, "O-Oh! W-Was I not supposed to? I-I was just-"

"Relax, it's fine. We just don't know what they're planning or what they're capable of, so I don't want him getting hurt is all."

Spike puffed out his chest, "Aw, don't worry Sunset. I'm the strongest dog around. Just ask the bitches on our block."

Twilight exploded, "Spike?! Watch your mouth!"

"What? Noah told me that's another term for a female dog. Is that wrong or..."

"Look, in case you couldn't exactly tell, Noah isn't the brightest. You shouldn't listen to his advice like that."

"Uh, Twilight? His girlfriend is right there?"

Sunset folded her arms, "No, she's right. Noah's a serious moron. Also, we prefer the term, 'best friends,' instead, so..."

Twilight tilted her head, "Why? Don't you guys sleep together and kiss and... Like... Fundamentally do everything together?"

"Well yeah, but... I-It's complicated..."

Twilight turned to face Spike. Spike looked up to face Twilight. They both shrugged, or whatever a dog could do in a scenario such as this, and Twilight returned her attention to Sunset.

She began forward with Spike eagerly behind, "Okay, let's see what we're looking at."

Sunset took a few steps back and pulled apart two bushes to reveal an entrance. Said entrance was unusually broad and appeared relatively bottomless. Just as Sunset had mentioned, the hole was strangely enveloped in rocks as it descended.

Twilight nodded, "Yeah... That's definitely a rabbit hole."

"Oh, shut up you purple prick."

The three stepped through the bushes and approached the entrance. They stared down into the abyss before them that assumingly stretched for miles. They couldn't even begin to guess as to where it might lead.

Twilight pondered, "Well, we'll need something to light our way, obviously. Otherwise, we could be walking right into a ravine, or worse."

Spike tilted his head, " 'Or worse' what?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, normally that leads up to a joke. You have any in mind?"

Twilight bore into Spike's eyes with a newfound feeling of annoyance. "No, Spike. I do not have any jokes in mind. Do you have any?"

"Uh... What happens if I say no?"

"Nothing. Which is exactly what I want."

Spike chuckled, "Jeez, okay. Sorry for trying to be funny."

Twilight sighed, but inside she felt like she had just kicked Spike to the curve. It seemed that Noah and his older friends' influence was finally reaching her as well.

Sunset itched her chin before something from her memory hit her like a brick. Reaching into her back pocket, Sunset retrieved a white metal lighter. She flicked the top to reveal the fork, wheel, and other components of it.

"This is a special metal lighter from back in the day... It's American."

Twilight gasped, "W-Wait, what? American? You mean from America? That weird nation Noah always mentions?"

"Yeah, that place."

"How?!"

"Well, I got it from somewhere unusual a week ago. It was meant to be a gift for Noah for our one month anniversary. I know, stupid, but I was still rather loopy after we became a pair.

"I was maybe gonna give it to him to... Well... I think I just bought this because I could. I mean, it's American, it's white, I just didn't know what he'd use it for.

"But now, a few days ago, I found out that he'd been smoking marijuana for years. Especially behind my back. My guess is that he was trying to slowly introduce me to it."

Spike tilted his head, "Isn't marijuana illegal? And doesn't it only grow in Vanhoover? Did he just cross the country or something? And how isn't he dead or whatever?"

Sunset toyed with the lighter, "Apparently, he's fine as ever. And his lungs work like a charm. As for where he got it, I'm thinking he and his friends brought a giant stash with them. For all they knew, they could've been lost at sea. I guess I don't blame them."

Twilight stepped forward and gave Sunset a nudge, "Well, I guess you better fire that thing up if we're gonna get any light."

Nodding, Sunset flicked the fork multiple times in order to ignite the flame as the trio entered the cave slash rabbit hole. As they descended, and the lighter ignited, Sunset felt something.

She handed the lighter to Twilight forcefully as she held herself tight. Twilight looked over at Sunset, confused, but then immediately turned red as she picked up Spike and had him face forward.

He hollered, "Hey, what's the big idea?!"

Twilight shushed him as they stood, "Don't worry Spike, it's nothing to worry about. Just Sunset being... Sunset."

"Is there something wrong with her stomach? She looked like she was holding that. Or she was holding below that. What's going on?"

Twilight grew excessively nervous as Sunset turned about and vomited onto the ground. Barfing up her lunch from earlier, and utterly dumbfounding Spike.

"Okay, something's definitely going on! What's the big deal?"

Twilight whispered, flustered. "Uh... You'll learn when you're older.

"Hey, looks like we're getting some light, Sunset."

"Finally, Twi. It has to have been half an hour by now."

As aforementioned by Sunset, the trio had been walking down the rabbit hole slash cave for thirty minutes now. Of course, ten minutes of their journey consisted of tending to Sunset after her... Problems...

As the light grew, Twilight handed the lighter back to Sunset, who promptly extinguished the flame of the lighter, and shoved it in her back pocket. At the ready, if ever needed again.

With the final curve in the rabbit hole slash cave, the trio turned to step into the light, revealing quite the environment. Disconcerted, Sunset stepped ahead of the two and analyzed their surroundings.

She spoke, "These walls... They're made entirely out of magic. Equestrian magic. I can feel it... But how?"

Surrounding them were many pillars bore of rock and magic that appeared similar to a violet lava lamp. Not to mention the walls, which were entirely covered in magic that seemed to bounce around like bubbles in the ocean. The rest of the cave slash rabbit hole was ragged and rocky just like the tunnel. Meaning something dug it's way through entirely.

Spike questioned, "Wait a minute, I thought Timber's story about Gaia Everfree was nothing more than an old ghost tale, or fake completely. are you saying his story wasn't?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow, "W-Wait, what does Timber have to do with all of this?"

"Nothing."

The trio spun around to their left as an unknown voice interrupted the three. Sunset pushed Twilight and Spike behind her as she readied for anything the voice had to throw at her. They stepped forward, and the three froze like stone.

It was Gloriosa.

"It's all me," she concluded. But not without a staggering twitch in her eye.

Sunset lowered her arms, "Director Gloriosa? W-What are you doing here? W-What about Timber? I-I was certain he was the one behind all this. But it wasn't. It was you all along. B-But what are you planning? You trying to scare everyone away?"

Gloriosa took a step into the middle, "I would never. Not even on my life."

"Then why? Why are you doing this?"

Gloriosa scoffed, "Me? You don't even know what I'm doing! You don't even know if it's wrong!"

"We had to rebuild a dock twice!"

Gloriosa stomped forward, "Oh, shut it! I've spent the totality of my life trying to preserve this park, this land, for my great-grandparents! I've fought legal battles, lawsuits, even bankruptcy itself! I'm not proud of it because I constantly have a sweaty, salty taste on my tongue now, but it was worth it!"

Twilight cringed whilst Spike gagged, and Sunset replied bluntly, "Ew."

"Shut up! Now, that stupid millionaire Filthy Rich has his eyes set on my park, and he's going to build a... A... A fucking Burger City over all of it! Just this giant, filthy, smelly hub of burgers and sweat and grease that stretches for miles for all the overweight idiots to enjoy!"

"You mean Burger City Central? He's building that here?"

"Yes! Completely demolishing all of this beautiful wildlife so he can make more millions per day!"

"Oh... Talk about an info dump."

Gloriosa turned about, "But now, I have a plan..."

Gloriosa, as if she were a God, brightened the cave slash rabbit hole entirely. Revealing multiple other pillars and walls of magic. At the end of it all was something strange.

A beautiful and glistening pedestal surrounded by spikes forged of silver itself. It was enveloped in this aura that would've been misinterpreted as some sort of holy light.

Sticking out of the pedestal were two miniature crystals that matched those around Gloriosa's neck. One purple, another red, with five other empty holes before them. All connected by a glowing array of pure white. But that wasn't what made the trio freeze in horror.

As Sunset looked up to see something hanging from the top of the cave slash rabbit hole. It was being held by multiple vines the size of entire dinner tables. And someone was being held captive by it.

It was Noah.

Twilight's eyes bulged, "Noah?!"

He turned his attention to them and away from something within his hands. He smiled, "Oh! Hey guys! What brings you to this part of the neighborhood? You need some sugar? Want me to walk your dog? Angry middle-aged sex?"

Sunset ran her hands through her hair, "Noah! What on Earth are you doing here?! H-How'd you get tied up?! Where've you been?!"

"I'm glad you asked, Kid! I've been kidnapped by Poison Ivy's sister and her boy band brother! Just chilling up here, blood rushing to my head. Might've fainted once or twice... or fourteen times..."

Sunset pointed furiously at Gloriosa. "What have you done to him?! Why'd you take him, w-what do you want with him?!"

Gloriosa folded her arms as she approached the pedestal. "Nothing major. I've just had him here ever since Timber knocked him out after he found him lingering a little too close to my... Rabbit hole."

Twilight smirked while Sunset groaned, "Hah! I told you it was a rabbit hole!"

"Oh, screw off."

Spike tilted his head, "Wait, Noah, don't you have the ability to like, transform, and stuff? Or yell really loud, at least? I'm sure Fluttershy would've heard it. Or the principals."

Noah shuffled in his position to free his other hand from the vine. As he did, he revealed a small blue packaging with gummy fruits on its front. Sunset facepalmed.

"You've been feeding him fruit snacks?"

Gloriosa shrugged, "It's kept him quiet, so..."

"Noah!"

Noah shrugged as well, "Sunset, I don't know what to tell you. These fruit snacks have got me questioning my... Well... My everything, really. Heck, even my existence."

"You've gotta be shitting me."

"Not even a little."

"Oh my God..."

Gloriosa rubbed her chin, "Not exactly sure why he loves them so much, but maybe it has to do with where they came from."

"What do you mean?"

"We found them in a cargo container washed up along the dock a week before you all showed up."

"What?"

"No way," Noah flipped the packaging and freaked. "Holy shit, these are Welch's fruit snacks! No wonder I'm questioning God, these are the shit!"

"Noah!"

"Oh, shut up, you bacon-haired hypocrite!"

"Why does everybody say that?!"

"Oh, I don't know! Maybe it's because you're hair is the color of fuckin' bacon!"

Gloriosa laid a hand flat, "You two have an... Interesting dynamic."

"Shut up, plant lady!"

Gloriosa faced the pedestal, "It doesn't matter. You're wasting my time. I've a camp to save."

Sunset pushed Twilight and Spike behind her again, while Noah cursed as he dropped his fruit snacks. "Gloriosa! Whatever you're planning, it's not going to end well! It's not right!"

Gloriosa placed her left on the two remaining crystals and scoffed, "Please. Everything is going to be just fine. What, am I gonna destroy the world?"

Gloriosa, in the blink of an eye, forced her free hand outward towards the trio as it began to glow green. Out of the ground, dozens upon dozens of vines ripped out from the Earth to straddle the three. Quickly pulling them into a tight grasp similar to Noah.

Gloriosa transferred the two remaining crystals to the rope around her neck, and the necklace transformed. It had given two spots to the remaining geodes, and the necklace gleamed and shone like mad.

With newfound power rushing through her veins, Gloriosa ascended above the ground as the holy aura of the pedestal enveloped her like an angel. Promptly switching green and surrounding her like a tidal wave. Smaller vines burst from the ground to wrap around Gloriosa's limbs and began to transform her.

Her feet turned from simple pink with lovely shoes to copper-colored and forest-green vines wrapped all around from her toes to her knees. Her legs turned moss-green with even smaller vines wrapped around her in a strangely lovely pattern.

Her clothes were replaced with a gorgeous jade dress with a Sacramento-green bow and white lining every streak. Her skin turned grey and pale, and her eyes filled with a menacing black tar, leaving lime, minuscule pinpricks as pupils.

Her hair became incredibly floaty and unkempt as if it were in the deepest parts of the ocean. It changed to the color of pine trees and was streaked with even brighter shades of pine.

There was no doubt. Gloriosa had changed. Her carefree and light-hearted attitude had been replaced with overconfidence. She was presumptuous, brash, and cocky. Her stature had changed from a simple camp director to a menacing goddess. She was no longer Camp Everfree Director Gloriosa T. Daisy.

She was Gaia Everfree.

The trio, now tied and hanging to the ceiling similar to the Super Element, watched in terror as Gaia touched down once again. Noah, now understanding the severity of the situation, spoke up. He had seen a familiar glare in her eyes that reminded him of the monster that nearly took everything from him.

"Gloriosa! You have thirty seconds to right whatever the heck you just did before I send you flying!"

Gaia chuckled, "You blind, black man? There is no more Gloriosa here. There is only Gaia. And I've returned to reclaim what was taken from me so long ago."

Noah tensed up. Her voice once again reminding him of Midnight. "Bullshit! Gloriosa, I know you're in there! Talk to me! I was an idiot before, but the fruit snacks are gone now, damn it!"

Gaia levitated over to the tunnel, but not before grabbing multiple boulders from all around. She chuckled, "I rather not, black man. I've a job to do, and I won't let you deter me."

She smiled, "You can spend the rest of your days in this forgotten tomb to discuss your filthy relationship problems with your red-headed lover. I'm sure she'd love to hear all about how jealous you are of the purple one."

As Noah's eyes constricted, Gaia exited the tunnel entrance, but not before using all of the boulders to block the entryway. Twilight and Spike began to tear as Gaia cackled all the way through the tunnel. Leaving the four of them to die in both utter darkness, and silence.

Noah began to curse internally as he watched the light go out. He was a fool. Nay, and imbecile. He sat idly by while Gloriosa carried out misdeeds all across the camp which ultimately led to her transformation. But before Noah could begin to think, Sunset addressed him.

"What was she talking about?"