Icarus

*//Begin Audio log transcription…\*

So, it's been two weeks since my last entry. Not much more has happened. My days are mostly the same, I wake up, get dressed, and then I stay by Celestia’s side. Most of the castle staff have gotten used to me being around, which is nice since the looks I was getting were starting to get really annoying. Celestia and I had a few more impromptu dates, though nothing like the one in my last log. I’m still waiting for Harmonia to come and get the revenge she promised, though to be honest I’m hoping that she forgot. Anyway, I’m making this log because of what happened today, or more specifically, WHO happened today.

--

I woke up in the morning still in the room that was given to me two weeks ago. I was happy to see that there were no ponies watching me in my sleep, and that I hadn’t been teleported elsewhere while I was resting. I climbed out of bed as the sun was coming up, and did my normal morning routine of hygiene before going to the closet and retrieving a set of pants and a shirt. Once I was dressed, I placed my pistol in its holster on my side, along with a spare power cell and I made my way to the dining hall for breakfast.

Now normally, or at least over the last week and a half, I was the second one to the dining hall. Usually Luna was already there enjoying some coffee as she came off of what her and Celestia called, ‘The night shift.’ However, today was Sunday, which meant two things. One, the three of us had the day off, and two, according to luna, Celestia was making pancakes.

As I walked into the dining room, Luna smiled at me and with her magic, levitated a mug filled with the liquid of life into my hands. “Good morning John. I trust that you slept well?”

I took a sip of coffee and smiled back, “One cream and one sugar, Just the way I like it, and It was alright…still having some nightmares but I’m used to it.”

Luna shook her head, “Now I see why they wanted me to talk to you.”

I sighed, “I’m going to guess that the ‘they’ that you are referring to are Celestia and Cadance?”

“Yes.” Luna replied before pouring some more coffee into her mug. “Which is why my sister has decided that you will occasionally be spending the night shift with me.”

“So what I’m hearing is that I’m going to need more caffeine.”

Luna giggled, “What you should be hearing is that my sister cares for you, And I know that you care for her. Cadance and Twilight have both told me that they consider you to be their friend, and I have to admit, you are starting to grow on me.”

“Probably has something to do with our morning chats.” I offered

Luna giggled at that before speaking. “After breakfast you will report to your quarters.”

“May I ask why?”

“My sister and I have decided to make your position official, therefore, you will need the proper equipment.So you will report to your quarters after breakfast so we can issue it to you.”

“Well then that’s a….I actually don't know how to react.” I replied. “I mean don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you both have decided to make my place here official, but I'm surprised that you're both going so far out of your way to help me.”

Celestia walked in out of the kitchen and gave me a quick hug as she set down a stack of pancakes in front of Luna. I froze up as she did and when I finally regained my composure she smiled at me. “Good morning John. I hope you slept well.”

“Well…I slept okay, but what's for breakfast?”

“I think that you already know, what do you say Lulu?”

“He knew, and as always, the pancakes are wonderful Tia.”

I smiled, something that was becoming increasingly more common due to my interactions with the royal sisters “You two seem extremely happy today.”

Celestia smiled at me as she spoke, “We’re ecstatic because your position is now official my friend. My sister and I are looking forward to bestowing your armor upon you. We also have had a uniform commissioned for you, Miss Rarity, Luna, and I will be meeting to discuss its design at a later date. Now, what would you like on your pancakes?”

“I see...and I'll have them with chocolate chips and banana.” I replied as I nursed my coffee.

“Chocolate and banana it is.” Celestia replied before turning back towards the kitchen.

I looked over as she was walking out, and Celestia seemed to notice my look as she smiled deviously and shook her hind quarters a bit, “Enjoying the view?”

I immediately jumped up out of my seat, “nonononono. I was about to-”

I heard a small giggle next to me and I saw Luna doing her best to hold in her laughter.

“Oh har har har. I was going to ask if you needed any help in the kitchen, I mean it doesn't feel right that I'm just sitting down doing nothing while you're making a meal for us.”

Celestia smiled back at me, “Don't worry my friend, I actually enjoy getting to spend some time making delicious meals myself. It helps me relax and clear my mind to stay focused on the moment. So sit down and relax, this won't take but a second.” And with that she disappeared into the kitchen.

Luna giggled again as I sat down, “I didn't know that you were able to turn such a deep shade of red.”

I sighed, “So I take it that both of you are pranksters.”

“Both of us are capable of the occasional joke, yes, though in terms of practical jokes, that would be my realm. Back when my sister and I were connected to the elements of harmony, one of the elements that I wielded was the element of laughter. My sister has picked up on a thing or two due being my sister, and for a while, the main target of said jokes.”

I got a small chuckle as I imagined the two sisters in a prank war, but then a more pressing question came to my mind. “So I know through the research I've been doing that Twilight and her friends are the ones who currently have the strongest connection to them, but what elements did you and Celestia used to have?”

“Well like I said earlier, I had Laughter, but I also had the elements of Loyalty and Honesty. My sister had The elements of Kindness, Generosity, and Magic.”

“Interesting” I replied, “I'd probably hold the elements of bad luck, loneliness, shooting, flying, drinking, and self hate.”

Luna's smile turned into a stare, “And this is one of the things you and I will be talking about during our time together.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, Celesdtia walked back through the doors with two sets of pancakes in her magical grasp. she set one down in front of me, and one down in front of the chair across from me before sitting down. “Bon Appetit.”

I picked up a fork and knife and began to eat. “Celestia, these taste amazing!.”

“Thank you John.” Celetia then turned to Luna, “Did he behave himself?”

Luna looked at me, then to her sister, “Well there are a few things that he said that I'll be going over with him tonight. As to what he said though, you of all ponies should know that doctor-patient confidentiality cannot be broken unless he poses a danger to himself or others.”

That last sentence almost made me spit my coffee out. “Doctor-patient confidentiality?...Luna you're a-?”

Luna finished my sentence, “Yes, I'm a doctor, more specifically, a psychologist. My degree is from Canterlot University, where Tia and I both graduated from, it was rather shortly after my return from...my time away. It was helpful since I had only recently discovered my ability to enter other ponies dreams.”

“Wow.” I replied, “...May I ask what Celestia majored in?”

“Civil engineering and Thaumaturgy.” Celestia replied matter of factly.

“Thauma-what?”

Celestia and Luna giggled slightly before Celestia replied, “Magic my sunshine.”

“Ah, well that would make-.” I paused as my brain caught up to that second part. “Wait...Sunshine?”

Celestia smiled lovingly at me, “Yes. Over these last two weeks I felt that you and I have started to become close. Not to mention how you liven up the stuffy atmosphere created by all the formalities and ponies who are more…...privileged than others.”

“Quite so.” Luna continued, “You seem to have this…..energy about you that livens up the area and picks up others.”

I chuckled, “So because I don't care about what a bunch of prissy nobles think of me, I'm living up the place?”

“Well yes and no” Celestia replied

Luna smiled deviously “Take for instance your…’assault’ on the castle last week.”

Celestia let out a small laugh, “I believe he called it a ‘training exercise.”

“Okay, in my defense, Windows where I'm from aren't magically enhanced to be a few hundred times stronger than steel, and the paradrop worked perfectly...the entry not so much...im still a little sore from the impact.”

The three of us all started to laugh as the memory of me slamming into the window above their thrones came back to mind.

--

We finished our meals shortly afterwards, and once we had handled the dirty dishes, the two princesses led me to my room, where I saw that some of the furniture had been moved to make a clear area in the center of the room. They pointed for me to stand in the center of the empty space, so I did so. Celestia walked up in front of me, and Luna did the same as Celestia spoke. “Now John, before we bestow your armor on you, we should probably tell you how it was made.”

“Okay, that's fair enough.” I replied.

Luna's ears flattened against her head as she started to speak, “Well you see, making a set of armor to our exact specifications is not an easy task to begin with. When you factor in the fact that you are not a pony, and that your tactics are radically different than those of our royal guard, we need a foundation.”

“Okay.” I repeated, “Sooooo...?”

Celestia's ears flattened against her head as well, “We had to borrow your light armor set and-”

I sighed, “If it's broken that's fine, I have the tools and supplied to fix it, though if you wanted to make some changes to it, you could have just talked to me instead of bringing it to a blacksmith.”

There was a small whooshing sound from my left side as Harmonia appeared. “They didn't bring it to a blacksmith, they brought it to me.”

Celestia spoke again, “Im sorry if we violated your privacy, but we wanted it to be perfect.” The Three alicorns lit up their horns, and the room filled with a bright light. Once I could see again, what I saw took my breath away. My armor had been changed, drastically. Its dull shades of black were replaced with a matte white. on the chest piece there was part of a sun on the right, and moon on the left and from the looks of it, they continued ontot the upper half of the arms. There was a small sheath for a knife on the tops of the left and right arms, and I saw on the right hip of the armor was a holster. I stood there dumbfounded, and Celestia walked up to me. I could tell she was worried about what my reaction would be, so i didn't bother waiting to give it to them. I turned around and I hugged both Celestia and Luna.

“It looks amazing, I love it.”

The two Alicorns smiled at me and wrapped their wings around me. After a minute, we let go and harmonia walked up to me and put her hoof on my shoulder. “Close your eyes.”

I did as she said and as I did, I felt a strong breeze hit me. Still I kept my eyes shut. After a minute, I felt her hoof come off my shoulder. “Okay, you can open them.”

When I did I saw that a mirror had been placed in front of me, and it was only then that I noticed my own reflection. On my head sat a ridiculous tiara and on my neck was a necklace with a pendant of a sun and moon. My hair had grown and was tied into braids down my back with bows in it, and on my body was an elegant,off the shoulder style ball gown. The entire thing was white with gold bows and sashes on the skirt, which went all the way down to the floor. I moved my feet forward a hair and I saw a pair of heels on my feet. I looked on the back and true to her word, there was a corset back, with a bow baccent, and the back was accented with flowers instead of bows. I looked over to the three alicorns who were all on the ground laughing. “I told you this was coming!” Harmonia called out.

“Yeah, you did, now can we get back to being serious?” I asked.

Celestia levitated up a camera and I saw it flash. She then set it aside and her horn glowed. With a flash my normal clothes had returned. “Now we can, and yes I plan on keeping that picture.”

I just shook my head.

Harmoina wiped the tears from her eyes and walked up to me. “When I first decided to help Celestia and luna with this endeavor, we first had to figure out just how you would access your armor.”

Luna continued, “ Normally, when we are in danger, our armor is but a simple spell away, but as you have said multiple times, humans do not have any magical abilities.”

“So what was the fix?” I asked.

Celestia walked up to me and used her wing to lift up the necklace from earlier, which still sat on my neck. “The pendant that currently rests on your neck holds your armor. It has been attuned to you, so you and only you can summon your armor with a mere thought.”

“Nice...can I try?” I asked

she nodded and the three alicorns backed up. I closed my eyes and thought of one simple phrase, armor on. and when I opened them I was greeted by the familiar sight of my HUD. “Wow, this thing even had some of my tech in it.”

“That was Harmonias idea.” Luna replied. “You should also be able to use that gadget on your wrist normally with the armor on as well.”

“This just keeps getting better and better.” I commented

Luna levitated the mirror in front of me, and I also got a chance to look at the outside of the armor. It was a dull matte white all over. on the chest there was an insignia of a sun on my right and loon on my left, and they seemed to continue around the side of the armor and onto the back.The arms were the same white and seemed to be attached to the gauntlets on my hands, and true to their word, I could see my mobiholo on my left hand. On my gauntlets there were sheaths for knives, and on my waist was a holster for my pistol and a few spare power cells. The legs were the same dull white color and seemed to be attached to the boots.

Celestia stepped forward with an even larger smile on her face. “The three of us also saw fit to add three other features to your armor. The first of which is a magical shield. All you have to do is raise up the arm you want it to appear on, and it will appear. you can also grow and shrink it from only being able to cover your arm, to being able to cover the area within about 10 feet of you, though you should know, the larger the shield, the weaker it will be.”

“More space, less power, got it.”

Luna stepped forward next. “We also saw fit to give your armor the ability to summon weapons.”

“What do you mean?” I asked

“It's simple, The weapons that currently sit in the safe in your closet, plus a sword that I made myself, and two hand-axes made by Celestia and Harmonia can be summoned right to your hands as long as you are wearing your pendant.” she then stepped aside “I'll let Harmonia tell you about the best part.”

“Best part?” I asked.

“Yes.” Harmonia replied, “As the personal guard to the royal family, you have to be able to keep up with the royal family regardless of the situation.” She moved the mirror from earlier in front of me, and what I saw reflected in it almost made my jaw drop to the floor. On my back, spread wide open by Harmonias magic, was a set of metallic wings. They were the spitting image of a real set of wings. “They are made from the same material as the metallic components of your armor. Celanium. When they are not in use, they fold nicely up into your back so as not to take up any space. The black fabric padding under the metal and inside the armor is made of lular. this entire set of armor should be nigh impenetrable to any blade or or arrow, and even some magical attacks. It has also been enchanted to give you increased strength, endurance, and speed.”

I took off the helmet that was on my head, and as I did it faded away. I looked to the three alicorns who all giggled before Luna spoke again, “Don't worry, all you have to do is summon it and it will reappear on your head.” I looked at the three mares who stood across from me and tears came to my eyes. I opened my arms and they all came close and embraced me.

“Thank you all...thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I think we do.” Celestia replied, “We want you to be able to succeed in your job, but we also want to be able to keep you safe as well. This armor allows us to do both.”

“And if you break it I will replace all of your clothes with dresses” Harmonia replied, Which got us all laughing.

When we all calmed down again I had just one question. “So...How do I get this off?”

--

The night shift was something else entirely from what I had experienced during the day with Celestia. There were no prissy nobels to insult me in passing, no ponies staring at me like I was a monster that the princesses tamed as a pet. It was just empty halls and the occasional clatter of armor from the night guards as they passed by. I made my way down to the throne room at 2000 and opened the doors to see luna using her magic to place lavender on top of the pedestals in the throne room. “Ah John, it's good to see you. Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” I asked

“Well first i'm going to finish setting up the lavender plants about the castle, then you are going to spend some time talking to your Therapist. Once you and I have had our session, the two of us will take a trip into the realm of dreams to aid ponies in their sleep.”

“Uhh...are you sure you want me going inside other people's dreams? I mean aside from the fact that I know nothing about psychology, I also don't have magic.”

Luna opened her mouth to speak, but before she could she was cut off by a voice echoing through the halls, “That is true but think of all the WONDERFUL chaos that would cause!”

my pistol materialized in my hand as I started scanning for the source of the voice. “I'm giving you one chance to show yourself and state your intentions before i come looking for you.”

That laughter continued as I raised up my Laslight, but as I looked down the sights, my font sight was replaced with the face of some sort of creature that looked to have a horse's head, and the horns of both a deer and a goat. I dropped my pistol immediately and summoned the axes that were gifted to me earlier. “What the fuck is that?!?!”

Luna loudly stamped her hoof on the ground, “Discord! Cease antagonising our guard and come forth this instant.”

“Who the fuck is discord?”

There was a flash of light as my pistol was replaced with a 10 foot tall creature that….well I had no idea what the hell it was exactly, it looked to have the body parts of at least several other animals. it turned to Luna and spoke. “You haven't told Celestia's new pet about Discord! Lord of chaos and mischief? Luna that wounds me” he clutched his chest and fell on the ground with his tongue out. it was obvious he was playing dead.

I looked to Luna, “Please explain what the hell is happening.”

Discord floated back up off the ground and with a snap of his fingers, made a bar of soap appear. “It would also seem his mouth needs some watching out with soap.” he began to close on me and I readied myself to counter with my axes.

Luna spread her wings wide, “Discord that's enough. John is not a pet, he is the new personal bodyguard for my sister and I. Now cease these childish games and tell me why you are here or I just may let John show you how he earned his position.”

Discord turned to Luna with a dejected look on his face, “Oh fine. If you must know, I came to thank him. his presence here over the last couple of weeks has caused so much fun chaos amongst the stuffy canterlot elite, I just had to meet this new source of energy myself! Though I suppose a proper introduction will have to wait until later. I have to get ready for tomorrow's tea party with Fluttershy. Tata for now.” and with a flash he disappeared.”

Luna turned to me with her ears against her head. “I apologize for him Johnathan. Discord can be...a bit of a hoof full at times.”

“Its okay.” I replied, “When you're in a world full of mythical creatures i figured interactions like that were gonna happen….though now that he mentioned his name i think i remember reading about him. He turned the world into some crazy dimension or at least was going to until he was stopped twice by the elements of harmony. Then he was reformed by Twilight and her friends...That about sum it up?”

“More or less. There are a few details you missed, but those can be shared at a later date. Now come along to my office, you have an appointment and I won't allow you to be late to it.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but Luna looked over her shoulder to me and called out, “And if you even think of trying to skip your appointment I will use my magic to carry you there myself.”

I sighed and followed Luna as we walked out of the throne room, through the castle, and back to the living section. I was surprised when I saw luna turn left and head up the spiral stairs toward the princess’s living quarters. I stopped and looked at my door, and then to the stairs. “Do i really want to go up there?” I asked myself, “I can always run….though running away from it all is what did this to me, though it wasn't a bad life per say.” I again looked up the stairs and my thoughts drifted to Celestia. I sighed as soon as her smiling face appeared in my mind's eye, I knew what my choice was going to be. “The choice between the life that I've become accustomed to versus a life filled with her…….I will always choose her.”

Luna head poked around the corner of the spiral staircase with a smile on her face. “That's good to her that you're finally letting love into your life.” her horn lit up and i felt myself raise off the ground, “Though it would seem that your old life still has some hold on you. Come along my friend, the doctor is in!”

--

Her office was not what I expected it to be, I was expecting some ornate room filled with paperwork or some kind of royal looking stuff, but instead the room I was in was more like a small personal library with a desk and two chairs. one for Luna, and one that was elongated for somepony, or in this case me, to lay down in. Luna placed me down in the chair with her magic and then took a seat in her chair before pulling out a notepad. “Normally I wouldn't do this, I would just go into the dream realm and help out my patients there, but I think that your mind has been invaded enough times in the last few weeks, so I'm going to do this the traditional way. Let's first start with what i saw when i was inside your dreams.”

“I don't think that there's much to talk about there.” Encountered, “Isn't there some kind of pill or something you can just give me? or some spell you can cast?”

“You already know that the answer to those questions is no. Not only would it be a massive breach of ethics, but it would do nothing to fix the problem. All it would do is fix its symptoms.”

“And that is bad because...?.”

Luna leaned in and put her hoof on my shoulder, “Why are you so against talking about how you feel?”

“I think you know why.”

“I mean besides the obvious, ‘I'm a stoic stallion and I don't talk about my feelings because that makes me weak’” Her voice has dipped down and taken on a gruff tone that I assume was an attempt at impersonating my voice.

“Probably because I've been alone for so long that instead of just dealing with my feelings, I just shove them into the back of my mind and occasionally they get out to beat the hell out of me before they either just go back to their hole, or I drink enough that they get drowned temporarily...and also I don't sound like that.”

Luna opened her mouth to talk, but instead, the sound of discords laughter filled the room and his head appeared out of the seat next to me, “You know he's right Lulu, he actually sounds like-”

Discord didn't get to finish his sentence because I had jumped up and in an instant my pistol was in hand and had fired a charge into the seat where his head was. There was silence for a minute as I realized what I had done. I looked at my pistol, then at the slight scorch mark left behind by the electrical bolt, then back to my pistol, then to luna.

“Ah shit, I’m sorry Lu-”

There was a bright flash next to me as I felt myself lift up off the ground and turn to see Discord with a frown on his face, his claw outstretched holding me, “Now THAT was rather ru-”

Again Discord was cut off, but not by me, he was instead cut off by a massive blast of magic emanating from Luna's horn. By the time that it stopped, the creature in front of me was charred, though it didn't seem to phase him. He dropped me on the ground, and literally DUSTED the char off of himself. “FINE! I understand when I'm not wanted. ARRRRRIIIIIIIVEDERCI!!” And with another bright flash, Luna and I were alone again, and my pistol was still in my hands. I let it dissipate back to where it goes when I'm not using it and I fell back into the chair I was in earlier and I covered my face as the realization of what I did hit me.

“Oh my god what have I done?”

Luna walked over to me and put her hoof on my shoulder, “You have done nothing wrong. I thought that the enchantments placed on this office would prevent any intrusions, though it seems that I didn't account for the lord of chaos taking a particular interest in one of my patients.” Luna lifted her hoof up and pointed to the brand new massive scorch mark spanning the ground and part of her office wall, “And if anything I believe that I've done a bit more damage than you have.” Her horn glowed and the room was filled with a bright light that when it died down, seemed to have returned everything back to a pristine condition. “But it's nothing that magic can't fix.”

“It can’t fix me.” I replied, “I mean Jesus, my first reaction to what happened was violence. I love it here, but I don’t know if I belong. I mean the worst vice in this world is eating too much cake.”

Luna giggled for a second, “Something my sister does all too often, but you need to relax. You can’t unlearn a lifetime of habits over the course of two weeks. These things take time, but the fact that you have noticed them is good. You are correct in that not every situation requires your action to resolve it, but you are our personal guard. Your job is to keep us safe, my sister and I cannot blame you for taking drastic actions in order to ensure our safety in times of danger.”

“But-”

Luna lifted her hoof up to my mouth, “No buts. you are nowhere near as bad as you think. If you truly were the monster that you believe yourself to be, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't have gone out for dinner with my sister, and you most certainly would not have Harmonia watching over you.”

“Then why do I feel this way?” i asked

“Because you have been alone for so long that you don't know better...Before I can truly help you, I need to know why that is.”

I sighed as I looked at Luna, “Are you really sure that you want to know?”

She nodded as she sat down next to me.

“It was just over 3 years ago.” I started, “Like I said when we first met, I used to have a partner. His name was Micheal, or as I called him, ‘Icebox’. We had taken on an open contract from the guild to go and rescue a bunch of rich asshats that had gotten kidnapped by pirates. Our insert and entry to their hideout was flawless, but come to find out, it was a trap. They ambushed us just as we were getting the hostages out of the building. Fuckers were hoping to score some gear off of anyone who didn't want to pay the ransom. The gunfight didn't last too long. I mean the two of us were Freelancers with almost top of the line equipment provided to us by the guild and they were pirates using whatever junk they could get their hands on. When the dust settled, One of the hostages had been hit. Since my ship had more space and more medical equipment, We opted to have the hostages put on my ship while he used his to cover our escape. We took off and were about halfway to breaking atmo when his comm went dead. I looked over to his ship to see him putting a round into a pirate that had got onboard during the earlier gun fight...sneaky bastard. Icebox looked over to me with a smile, giving me the ‘all clear’ signal…...then his ship blew. The guild investigated the event, assisted by private investigators paid for by the rich assholes that we saved. They found out that the last pirate that snuck on board had planted a bomb that was on a dead man switch. The second he killed that scum, the countdown started.….I should have checked his ship. If I did, I would have seen that one of the bastards had snuck aboard his ship with a bomb…...After it was all said and done, I left the guild for a few years. I tried to do what I could to make it up to his parents, but they wouldn't even see me. Eventually my money ran out and the only ones who wanted someone with my skill set where the guild. So I went back to them. Said I'd take any job they had, so they put me on freighter escort. Normally most freelancers would do anything to avoid that job, all it was was sitting on your ass babysitting ships in space that was already protected and patrolled by the alliance. Personally, I didn't care. I just wanted a job while I tried to find some way to atone for my failure.”

I felt Luna put her wing on my shoulder as her hoof went under my chin and lifted it up to look at her, “What happened is not your fault. Yes it is a tragedy, but this world is very generous with second chances. Perhaps you were brought here to attone by finally finding peace.”

“Maybe” I replied, “but I have no idea how.”

Luna smiled gently at me, “I think you do. I see it when you are with my sister. You are happy with her, not to mention that when you're by her side there's always a smile on your face. something i rarely see when you two are apart. But there are also a few mental exercises that you can do to help. Well start with a simple one.” Her horn glowed and the room around me vanished, being replaced by what looked to be a portion of space. “I've taken us into the mindscape. It is from here that I can access ponies' dreams at night and it allows for your thoughts to be manifested before you, which will help for this exercise.”

“Luna I don't thin-”

“Listen to your therapist or I will tell Celestia that you are not cooperating.”

I sighed and did as I was told

“Good. Now imagine every single negative thought or emotion that you have about yourself and give it a form.”

I did as Luna asked, and a few seconds later, a charred broken set of armor appeared.

“Good. Now envision something that calms you. something that makes you happy. something that makes you feel the opposite of what that armor represents makes you feel.”

I thought for a few seconds before Celestia appeared by my side.

Luna smiled at me, “Somehow I knew that you were going to choose my sister...Anyway, now with the help of this positive manifestation, get rid of the negative one.”

It took a minute, but the manifestation of Celestia moved up beside me and we both walked up to the old set of armor. I just stood there for a second observing the damage, and in doing so I noticed something, the armor wasn't mine, it was Icebox. I stood there frozen, unable to move as I was flooded with a mix of fear, anger, and sadness. I wanted to do something, ANYTHING, but I didn't. I still don't know how it happened, but the manifestation of Celestia put her hooves around me, pulled me back into a hug, and I watched as her horn lit up and unleashed a torrent of magic turning the armor into nothing but a pile of ash. While still keeping a tight hold of me with her hooves, her wings came out and propelled us off the ground before she made one massive flap directed at the ash, sending it off into oblivion. We floated there in the air for a second as I closed my eyes and let the sound of her heartbeat and the flapping of her wings calm me. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but eventually I felt the ground on my feet again and when I opened my eyes, we were back in Luna's office. Luna was standing in front of me with a smile on her face, “How do you feel?”

I looked around my surroundings and took stock of my own self. “I...I dont know. better I think. I mean everything seems brighter, and it feels like there's this weight that's been lifted off of me.”

Luna walked up and put her hoof on my leg, “That's good...Now I know that you were supposed to spend tonight with me in the dreamscape, but given what's occurred here tonight, I don't want to undo the progress we have made here. And i know you were worried about not being of assistance, but thanks to your armor, you don't have to worry.”

“Why?”

“Because it contains the magical essence of both Celestia and myself, meaning that any magic you perform with your armor will be at the same strength as my sister and I, though be warned, this doesn't mean that you will be able to perform any spell you wish, infact, due to humans lack of magic, we doubt that you will be able to perform anything outside basic to low level intermediate spells.”

“I can live with that, but back to what you said before. Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?” I asked, “I mean this wouldn't be my first all-nighter.”

Luna shook her head, “I'm sure. Go and get some rest. I insist.”

“Okay, if you insist.” I got up and went for the door but I stopped. “Thank you Luna...I mean it...and if you ever need any of my help, reach out to me.”

Luna smiled at me, “You're welcome John, goodnight.”

“Night.” and with that, I walked out and back to my room. I looked at my mobiholo and saw that it was now 2130. Not really late, but at the same time I would have to work to try and calm down so that I wouldn't be dead tired tomorrow morning.

--

About forty five minutes later, I was still wide awake. Nothing I had done was helping me get to sleep, not laying in the bed, not counting sheep, or even breathing exercises. I don't know why, but I decided that a kitchen raid for some tea may do the trick. I mean Celestia was always singing its praises, so I was hoping that she would have some sort of calming or sleep aid blend. So I threw on some pants and an old shirt with some simple moccasins that Rarity had gifted me a few days back so I would have some ‘house shoes’, and I made my way down to the kitchen, however on my way there I noticed that the doors to the throne room were cracked open. My mind instantly went into ‘work mode’ as my pistol materialized in my hand and I peered through the crack in the door. As I did this, I saw that it was just Luna, though she seemed to have her attention solely fixed on some of the stained glass windows, and the look on her face….I knew that look, and it wasn't one that I wanted to see. I let my pistol dissipate, and I slowly made my way into the room and up to Luna's side. “Rough night?”

Luna almost jumped into the ceiling when I spoke, but she was quick to regain her composure and turn to me. “I am fine, and do not frighten me like that, it is quite rude…and may I ask why you are here after I dismissed you for the night??”

I pointed back to the kitchen “Needed a drink...so why are you here?”

“Because it is my duty to watch the castle at night.”

I chuckled, “Well from the looks of it you seem to be interested in watching only two parts of the castle…and if my limited knowledge of your worlds past is correct, these two-parts concern Nightmare Moon.”

“The creation of my rage and jealousy” Luna replied “…but it does not affect me. I am perfectly fine.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know you suck at lying, and you're showing the same behaviors that I was showing up until a few hours ago.”

The two of us stood there silently. Luna looked at me with a look of worry, and me looked at Luna with a look of concern as I spoke again, “Anything I can do to help you?”

Luna looked to me with an expression of shock, “How could you possibly even be able to help me?”

“Well I may not have any advanced magic, but I can listen and offer my advice for all that it's worth.”

Luna sighed, “You aren’t going to leave me alone are you?”

“I will,” I replied with a smirk, “Once I’m sure that you’re out of this sadness of yours.”

Luna looked at me with a mix of emotions on her face. I just stood there and waited for a response, and eventually she gave me one as her horn began to channel magic. “Come, I wish to show you something.”

I turned and started walking for the door as I spoke. “Alright, lead the-”

There was a flash and when my vision returned I saw that i had been teleported into the same realm that Luna and I were in not too long ago, but it didn't last. The starry surroundings vanished and were replaced by those of brick and mortar. Before me rested two thrones, But something was different. The air around me was tense, I saw Luna walk in from the shadows as she began to speak. “Not another step.”

“Uhh...okay...what's going on here?” I asked. I put my hand out to grab onto one of the railings next to the steps before the thrones, but my hand went through it. I looked down at myself and I saw that my body was almost translucent and that there was another Luna was right next to me in the same form. she walked up to me and spoke, “You are about to witness my greatest mistake.” her horn glowed and the vision in front of me continued.

“Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?” she walked onto a podium of sorts and continued, “There can only be ONE princess in equestria, and that princess, WILL BE ME!” She raised her hooves up and brought them down, smashing the podium and sending cracks up the walls as her eyes and horn glowed. The cracks continued up the wall and shattered a window behind her, sending glass flying as I watched the moon overtake the sun. As the sun was eclipsed, so was Luna. darkness surrounded her and began to swirl. I couldn't see what was happening to Luna, but when it was gone, so was Luna, and in her place stood nightmare moon. I watched as Celestia appeared, and the two of them did battle on the ground and in the sky. I watched as Celestia, with no options left, used the elements to send Nightmare moon to the moon.

When it was all over with, Luna looked to me with tears in her eyes, “Now do you see? This is why I feel this way.”

the look on her face...the pain in her eyes...all of this was how i felt after i lost my partner. I wanted to try and deal with what happened that day, but instead I became cold and distant. I wasn't going to let that happen to Luna. I turned to her and hugged her tightly as she cried. After some time when she had eventually calmed, I spoke. “It's like you said to me, the past is the past. All we can do is learn from it and move on.”

“But what if ponies come to hate me for this like I hate myself?”

I smiled, “I doubt that that will ever happen.”

Luna looked to me with a mixture of fear and doubt on her face, “What makes you say that? How can you be so sure that my past mistakes won’t come back to harm me or this kingdom? What proof do you have?”

I smiled back at her, “It's my time to show you something…Mind if I have the controls?”

Luna's horn glowed and suddenly my hands glowed blue “You can now bring up the scenes you want to show me.”

“Thanks.” It took me a few minutes to get a feel for the controls, but once I had an idea of what I was doing, I used this temporary power to look through the scenes in front of me from history and set a few aside. Another 10 minutes later and I had exactly what I needed. “Take a look at these.” I tapped on the scenes and the all began to play out before Luna. There were a few scenes of her being present at celebrations in ponyville and a few other locations, as well as the welcome back ceremony and the past few nightmare night celebrations. “You want to know what I see?”

“What do you see?”

“I see a mare who is beloved by her subjects, a mare who helps them every night, and who enjoys spending time with them. I see a mare who is every day working hard and whose subjects adore her all the more for it. Your subjects have forgiven you for any transgression you have made, and from the looks of it, they want to help you become better.”

Luna looked to me with a smile on her face, “Thank you Johnathan.” She then again hugged me tightly. When I looked away from her I saw that we had appeared in front of the window she had lost herself in before.

“You good?”

“.......Yes, I think I am.”

“Good.” I replied as I let go, “The pit of depression is mine. I call it fort sadness and there's no girls allowed.”

Luna chucked before I felt her wing extend and lightly slapped me on the back of the head, “Go get your tea and go to bed or I'll have Celestia come down here and drag you to bed herself.”

I put my hands up as I slowly backed towards the doors, “Hey, no need to call in the big guns, I'll listen.” I walked to the door, but as I reached it, I turned around, “Goodnight Luna.”

Luna smiled at me, “Goodnight John, sweet dreams.”

“Oh something tells me that you'll make sure they are.” I replied with a chuckle as I walked out the door.

//End audio journal transcript…*\*