Misplaced Hearts

by MyEmpyrean

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Romance, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3493

When Rarity realizes that Pinkie Pie was alone on Hearts and Hooves Day, she gave the chocolates she was saving for her special somepony to her. A horrible mistake.

In which her best virtue transforms into her worst flaw. Rarity, by the good nature of her heart, offered a lonely friend some chocolates on Hearts and Hooves Day. It's been a year now.

A long, long, long year. Pinkie Pie still won't leave her alone.

Cover art by yours truly! From Dotpict.

Published 2020-02-19 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-22 04:39:32 UTC

Color of Her Blush

Sassy Saddles thought nothing of it when Rarity all but catapulted through the doorway.

Not only because her boss had crashlanded, quite luckily, into a pile of winter clearance dresses, but also because Sassy was very accustomed to such hijinks.

This is the Element of Generous Amounts of Drama, after all.

Shaking her head, she hurried to Rarity's rescue, but before she could play the heroine, Rarity sprung to her hooves and rushed toward the door to latch every lock possible.

"Sassy, fetch some lumber for me! Hammers! Nails! Gather all the furniture you can find-!"

"Calm down." Sassy interrupted. "What's all the fuss about?"

Hysteria written on every line of her face, Rarity flung herself at the doorway as if to keep an invisble intruder out. Odd, but alright, Sassy can salvage this still. Freakouts like these tend to snuff themselves out.

All she had do to is convince Rarity that, as always, she has nothing to worry about.

"She's coming for me... there's no way to escape her wrath!" Rarity wailed, flailing her hooves like a beached octopus.

Should I even bother asking? I would just fuel the flame. Then again...

What if is she actually being chased? "Who?"

Her boss moaned a reply,"Oh, the horror! I dare not speak her name! If I do, she would be summoned here in an instant!"

A idea squirmed into her head of escorting Rarity to the hospital for some nice bedrest. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Are you alright?"

"Do I LOOK alright to you?!" Rarity snapped.

Ah, well, Sassy wasn't going to mention it, but-

Her typhoon mane boasted more tangles than sea serpent's perm, her deep wrinkles sagged across her cheeks like exagerrated frowny-faces, and her sunken eyes betrayed an actual comparison to the trotting dead. Yep, a mare of Rarity's standards would not reveal herself to the world without makeup.

The world is not ready for such... boldness.

Warning signs blared inside of her. A true emergency must be happening! Quick, search for the Royal Guard!

Except, oh wait, Rarity's most likely just being more than a little over-dramatic with a dash of insanity. Everytime Rariry has to abruptly leave due to some divine request via Friendship Quest, Sassy has to advise her to treat herself to some TLC. Relax, her mental health is more important than the weekly argument between two fillies over a teddy bear.

"Let's go to the backroom," Sassy suggested as Rarity galloped around the showroom in a frantic search for wood. If she didn't lead her somewhere else soon, her boss might topple her shop upside-down. "We can relax and gauge the situation properly-"

"Darling, there's no time for that! I absolutely must prepare for her return! If I don't, she'll find a way in," Rarity finally settled on a clothes rack and used a levitation spell to lodge it between the lock and the tiled floor.

Sassy rolled her eyes. Remind her why this was her responsibility, again? Why does SHE have to deal with her psycho-boss? She's only a fashion boutique manager, not a therapist. The best she can prescribe is dresses that match the sun-fun aspects of the current summer season.

All for a convenient price!

"So, what does her return entail?" She decided to humor her for now until she finds an alternative. All of her graciously offered comfort and logic had amounted to nada in terms of alleviating her delirium.

Rarity groaned before she sunk to the cold, unforgiving floor in a rather undignified manner, "She has been following me ever since that acursed day last year. It was supposed to be a generous act of kindness on my part, but noooo! She took it the wrong way!"

"Wait," Sassy arched an eyebrow, "Is this about-"

"Knock, knock, knock!" A cheery, albeit slightly muffled, voice sang.

"Oh no," Rarity whispered. She threw herself into a tender embrace with the door and whipped her head around in all directions like a paranoid owl.

Despair dripped from her words, "She's here, she's already here! Quick, we must find a suitable hiding spot or else she shall surely find me!"

Giggling, Sassy walked toward Rarity to place a hoof on her shoulder, only for the latter to flinch away from the unforeseen contact. Her boss jolted her with a glare fit to vaporize diamonds. Maybe that's how the Elements of Harmony defeated every foe; they just played a staring-contest!

"Come on, boss, just relax. Isn't she one of your friends?"

"W-well, yes, but admittedly not a very close one," Rarity stuttered. "I mean, compared to the others, I just don't feel as comfortable with her as I do with mares like Twilight or Fluttershy."

"Is anypony home?" The voice carooned from her cheerful land of Behind-the-Door. May it never be opened, for it could unleash the ultimate shame to plague fashionista ponies; overly attached mares.

"She's still your friend, right?" Sassy cocked her head and gave her trademark smirk. She spent moons perfecting that eqiliubrium between amusement and sarcasm. "Just talk to her. I'm sure she'll understand it's a mistake."

"I have been doing that. For the past. YEAR. She doesn't listen to a word I say!" Rarity retorted.

"Have you really tried?"

"Of course! What do you take me for? I despised this terrible pursuit since the very beginning-"

"Hey Rarity! Can you pretty please let me in? I wanna talk to you!"

Sassy reached over to the locks and the clothes rack. "Listen to that. She just wants to speak with you. Seize this opportunity to discuss with her what you really meant when you gave her those chocolate hearts."

"No, please, you mustn't! I can't let you open this door!" Rarity swatted her away.

Sassy glared at her boss. She didn't care if she got fired now; she just longed for this madness to end. This is too much for one pony to handle, let alone a mare like Sassy Saddles, to foalsit on her own.

"I will unlock this door, and you will talk with her like a sensible adult!" Sassy hollered, shoving herself toward the locks as hoof slaps as frail as a filly mid-tantrum retaliated.

Rarity scowled, which is most definitely not a stellar look for her. "No! First of all, this is my store, so I decide our closing hours! Second of all, I am not a sensible adult! I am a victim-"

Success! She unlatched the door and dodged her boss' barrage of both expletives and punches by her awesome signature move. A special maneuver that she found quite useful whenever a fashion boutique under her employ fails:

Skedaddle away.

And so she did. Striaght into the backroom, as far away as physically possible from the absolute theatricial nutcase known as Rarity Belle.

"Don't leave me here!" Was the final plea Sassy heard before she closed the door.

"Aw, Rarity, you're such a fancy-shamancy gentlemare!"

Rarity only offered a tentative grin as the Ponyville party pony herself, Pinkie Pie hop-hop-hoped into her store. How in the world did she even follow her to Canterlot?

Actually, don't answer that. Rarity does not wish to know the nuisances of the Pinkie mind; she much rather keep her delicate innocence. Ignorance is bliss.

"Ah, thank you for coming," Rarity tried to best to maintain her atypical picturesque demeanor. It wouldn't do to allow for her icky emotions on to be on full display while a guest is visiting!

After all, Pinkie can smell fear.

"So, whatcha doing today?" Pinkie Pie pirouetted around to face her, blueberry-colored eyes wide and expectant.

Oh no, darling. Two can play at that game. Due to her various powwows with the elite, she's learned how to control ponies with just a few words. It's the one strategy game that Rarity has mastered completely:

Deflection and Changing the Subject.

Rarity flipped her mane with an air of indifference. "The usual. What else is a showpony to do? I am more interested in what you are doing today."

"You're super, duper, uber nice!" With each rhyme, her voice climbed in pitch to near helium levels. "But I was just going to follow you around all day. No biggie!"

All day... Rarity bravely managed not to faint right then and there. Good and gracious Celestia, she's not even sure she can stand one more second with this voracious mare.

"Well, I am busy," She indicated the extent of her busyness with a flippant wave of her hoof. "I need to finish several projects before the end of this week due to the eve of celebration-"

"I can help you!" Pinkie interjected, "Not that you're aren't amazing on your own, but sometimes we need somepony else to lend a hoof! Just to make it the best it could ever be! Oh, did I mention that your fashion line is totally stupendous?"

She offered the hyperactive pink blob nothing save a cynical appraisal. Laying it on thick, are we not? Her subtlety reminds Rarity of a yak trampling through a house made of marshmallows.

Which is to say, it is practically non-existent. Well, nopony ever deemed a party-canon that erupted sprinkles and confetti and "happy suprises" as subtle.

She mimed a shocked giggle. "Thank you for your shower of praise! Are you certain you are not the Element of Kindness after all?"

"Oh, nope! I could never be as patient as Fluttershy. I just... really appreciate fashion?" Pinkie's perpetual grin quirked into an embarrassed one.

Sure, Rarity sighed.

"I suppose I should start my work. So many dresses and drapery to stitch and such," Head held high, she marched toward the safety of the backroom.

"But I want to help you?" Pinkie Pie called after her but strangely made no move to follow. What horrific plans was she concocting underneath those unruly curls?

"I'll manage with the assistance of Sassy Saddles, thank you. I think it would serve you better to help Monsieur Cake with his fillies. Those ittle scamps would be oh so much more engaging that a simple needle and thread," Rarity placed a hoof on the doorknob. Almost there!

"Um. Uh. Well," Pinkie stammered.

At a lost of words? She fought the urge to burst into a triumphant laugh. I have finally shaken her off! Now we can go back to just being normal friends without any awkward encounters! She smiled as she attempted to turn the doorknob, her final, victorious key toward freedom.

But then it refused to move.

She froze. Pinkie continued to mutter the ramblings of a mad mare.

The door to the backroom was locked.

Author's Note

I hoped you enjoy this lighthearted first chapter. Any criticism you can give me is heavily appreciated! Thank you!

Color of Strawberry Lemonade

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no.

Curse you, Sassy Saddles! Rarity's ecstatic expression withered into a deep horrific scowl. Why would you lock me out of my OWN BACKROOM of my OWN FASHION BOUTIQUE?!

Pinkie Pie finally snapped out or her frenzied mutterings. "What's up? Why do you look so down?"

Rarity breathed. In, out, in, out, in.... Don't hyperventilate, the apocalypse is not nigh. It's Just Pinkie Pie. Your friend.

She glanced at the Master of Shindigs, who gave her a wide grin that practically stretched pass her cheeks to her ears. A smile of a sociopath.

She cocked her head at her, "Rarity, don't look so scared! Do you see something freaky?"

Oh, no worries, darling, it's just you, Rarity shook her head to banish these dark thoughts. No, she's your friend. You're the one being unfair.

"Oh! Do you want to do something fun?" Pinkie Pie began to bounce in place.

Rarity backed away despite herself, managing to warp her face into a tiny simper. "That sounds nice, Pinkie. What do you have in mind?"

"Hmm... lemme think," She pondered for a world-record of two seconds before gasping aloud and galloping out of her boutique to who knows where. Just when the cream white unicorn dared to believe that finally, she gave up; a blur of excitement bowled her over.

"Pinkie!" Rarity protested, "You'll mess up my wonderful new haircut!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," She had the audacity to look abashed as she sheepishly untangled herself from Rarity. "I just had the bestest idea ever and I just had to go and ask Laffy-Saffy-"

Rarity cocked her delicately plucked eyebrow. "Who is this Laffy-Saffy?"

"Oh no! I almost gave it away! Come on, let's go go go!" Pinkie Pie crouched down and stirred up some dust, miming a car at a starting line.

"But I don't understand-"

"Vroom vroom!" She insisted.

Rarity sighed. It's pointless to argue with a mare, the likes of which even Discord, chaos god himself and devious prankster, respects. Convincing her to drop her determined interest was like asking about the weather to a rock.

If it actually repiled with a legitimate response, you should turn around and high-tail it somewhere in the opposite direction.

"Alright," Rarity amended. "Lead the way."

A thunderous roar of her jovial death sentence: "hooray!" echoed in the fashion mare's ears as Pinkie latched a hoof on hers and dragged her at back-breaking speeds. Even the prestigious Rainbow Dash would be slightly "jelly" at this athletic display.

A peaceful morning, ruined, Rarity huffed to herself.

"Slow down!" Rarity demanded as the dynamic duo zigzagged through the streets of Canterlot, barely sidestepping elite couples and million-mares. Harsh yells exclaimed from passersby made the unicorn embarrassed of the wreckage they left behind. She hoped against hope they would not recognize her and still invite her to lavish tea parties.

"Okie-dookie!" Pinkie Pie halted in her tracks, rubberbanding Rarity straight into a wooden door, a very soft, totally-not-coma-inducing emergency crashlanding.

Rarity slid down the unforgiving surface into a heap of misery. "Ouch."

"We're here!" Pinkie sang while spreading her hooves wide, an expectant hug from nopony. The air, maybe.

A dark shadow consumed Rarity as the door creaked open. She blinked in the sudden solar eclipse until she gazed upward; the cause of morning midnight revealed as a vibrant orange earth pony mare with frizzled dreadlocks.

"Saffron Malasa?" Rarity mumbled. She recognized her dimly as a far-off mirage.

Saffron nodded slowly, "I didn't expect you to arrive so... eagerly."

"Me neither," Rarity grumbled. Stars dared each other to see which one could blind her first as her vision swam. Saffron offered a hoof to assist, but Pinkie stepped in with an outstretched elbow, which the disgruntled unicorn accepted. Gladly.

"Didja set up our reservation yet?" Pinkie winked conspiratorially.

Saffron returned her excited smile. "Oh, both of you are always welcome to our restaurant. After you helped us-"

"Wait," The frazzled unicorn interrupted, "Are we really... this cannot be... surely, this is not a romantic endeavor."

Tapping her chin, Pinkie replied, "I don't know what you mean. I can't hear you over the sound of my rumbly-tumbly belly! Let's chow down!"

"Is this a-"

Rarity found herself once again tugged like a dead corpse across the restuarant toward nearest available booth. She tried to protest, but the energetic earth pony straight-up chucked her on the seat and plopped herself next to her. Saffron supplied the menus and waited for their drink order.

"Give me lemonade!" Pinkie chirped, "Oh, and give Rarity with the absolutely most finest tea!

"Well, we have Earl Gray and-"

"Whatever the best one is!" Pinkie hollered, which sent Saffron scurrying away.

Rarity froze. She didn't know what to do anymore. She just stared at the mare beside her, who busied herself with fluffing her hair and checking her breath.

Suddenly, she snapped back to Rarity, her smile a bit dimmer than before. "So... uh. How about that hoofball game?"

This is a riveting conversation, Rarity felt her heart wilt.

"Oh! Tell me about your latest fashion line!" Pinkie slapped a hoof on her back, a squawk escaping the living unicorn statue. "I bet it's so awesome, like-like-like, better than a double-decker napoleon ice cream cake!"

Sounds like a heart attack. Nonetheless, Rarity managed to mumble a reply:

"Well, apparently there's this wonderful celebration going on in Ponyville, so I switched my fashion line out with more informal, fun dresses to reflect a hometown festival-"

"Here comes the drinks!" Saffron placed down a translucent cup of lemonade, complete with a half a lemon on rim, and a steaming mug of tea. Which, by the by, smelled like death liquidified.

"It's a special family recipe from my home," A distant twinkle of faroff memories misted Saffron's eyes, "I hope you will enjoy the variety of Saddle Arabian spices and tangy flavors-"

Pinkie screamed, "Drink it before it gets cold, Rar-silly!"

"That's not my name-"

"Drink it!"

With a world-weary exhale, Rarity lifted the mug to her mouth and took a delicate little sip, perfect and poised in the table manner. Even if she didn't look the part, she did not want to stoop to such levels of barbarism. She had standards.

A sudden, thick wash of colorful zest drowned her in a sense of euphoria like a pungent chocolate fountain. Her first instinct, to gag and spit and plea for mercy, she did not give into due to the aforementioned indecency of such an action. She forced herself to swallow.

"Did it taste good? It tasted really good, right?!"

Rarity squirmed nearly in pain. She still could not dissect the full intensity of this drink. All she knew that it did burn her throat some, but...

"So, it was that bad?" Pinkie's smile deflated.

Rarity sniffed her tea, "I think that it's certainly... an acquired taste."

"That's probably the best words I would use to describe it," Saffron chuckled.

"But- didja like it?" Leaning further into Rarity's personal bubble, Pinkie regarded the drink with a puzzled glare, ready to drop-kick it into a sun if the fashion mare's response consisted of any negative opinions.

The unicorn hesitated, suddenly aware of how her quote un quote "friend" had infiltrated her space. Usually, she hated when stallions practically breathed on top of her, but when her friend did it... Energy coursed through her limbs in sugary boosts.
Pink and white almost brushed together as Pinkie switched her gaze to her, a gentle smile on her face. Rarity wanted to advert her eyes, but at the same time, she wanted to stare.

"Well... I do believe I enjoyed it quite a bit," The words spilled from her before she could halt them, and she prayed that Pinkie wouldn't interpret it as a God-forsaken FLIRT-

Pinkie grinned wide. "I'm glad! Trying new things can be scary, but it's also fun! I remember when I first tried Saffron's family tea-"

Huh? She blanked the rest of her story. Several questions whirled through her head at once, chasing each other into a detemented tornado. What just happened? Did she just refuse her accidental advances? Or did she flat-out didn't care-

Rarity slapped herself. No, don't torture delicate brains like hers in this manner! Not that she expected anything that made sense when it came to Pinkie Pie, especially in romance, but STILL. Her meticulously concocted flirt that just accidentally escaped her mind... and just met with this?

Just ask her. Oh sweet Celestia, this is so difficult.

Ask her what this is about.

Use the d-word.

With a gulp, she positioned herself directly in front of Pinkie and placed her hooves on her shoulders. The thrilled storyteller halted mid-sentence to blink at her, her usual grin caught suspended between disbelief, glee, and befuddlement.

Say it! Rarity tried to match that smile, but it felt false. Plastic.

Why did she have to ask now? Why can't she just enjoy this tender time with Pinkie, her friend through thick and thin threads, ready to spin yarn just to bring a guffaw to ponies all around...

Remember doomsday. Hearts and Hooves Day. The day of this uncertainty and stalkerish behavior began. Rarity did not want to believe that Pinkie truly felt that way about her... With a pang in heart, she wondered how her friend will even take the question.

Silence would be the worst, Rarity decided. It's just a delayed affirmation.

Channel your inner Pinkie, Her mind conjured images of boundless parties, saccharine cakes, and beautiful smiles. But most importantly, she remembered one of Pinkie's biggest traits.

Her rock-hard stubbornness.

"Darling, do not be afraid to tell the truth," Rarity assured. "Is this... a date?"

She went quiet. Not good. Her heart lurched into her throat with a secret aim to assassinate Rarity Belle for her misdeeds against friendships.

No... we can move past this. It's only a little crush!

She hoped.

Pinkie Pie swayed side to side in thought, a pink pendulum measuring the seconds to their blossoming friendship. Her smile never left her face when she said;

"Of course not, Rar-silly! We're friends, remember?"