Clothes Don't Always Make The Woman

Chapter 18

Fu-Jow Pai Dojo, Manehattan

My martial arts training regimen with Rainbow Dash had progressed about as well as could be expected, given the fact that I was a rank amateur. Over the past few weeks, I’d learned many effective, if basic, techniques that would take down most common criminals. Assuming, of course, that I didn’t run into another practitioner of the arts, I would be able to handle myself in a fight. Guns and knives included. I wasn’t terribly concerned about those, as I’d been honing my magic abilities too. It’d gotten to the point where I could consciously gauge how hard my body became based on the amount of energy I willed into the “spell”. I’m calling it that for now, simply because I don’t have a better term for the process. It’s all quite difficult to explain.

At maximum power, my body could harden to the likes of diamond, but I found that the amount of concentration and sheer energy it took was far too taxing on my physique. A rather unfortunate incident at the dojo per Rainbow’s request last week, saw me slump to the floor unconscious and in a daze after I’d “powered-up” to maximum. For several hours afterwards, I’d felt weaker than a newborn babe, barely able to move, and in dire need of sustenance.

Luckily, Rainbow Dash was able to arrange a veritable feast for me, citing that she was partially at fault for making me take my transformation that far. I told her it was water under the bridge, as I’d rather test my powers in a controlled environment instead of having them fail in the field. Unfortunately, Rainbow insisted on teasing me about how much food I was able to wolf down. It should also be said that I was not the least bit lady-like when it came to manners either. Even so, who was she to judge? I’d never known a cruder individual than Rainbow Danger Dash. Just in case you were wondering, her original middle name was Gertrude but she had it legally changed to make her name sound “1000% awesomer” in the fighting arena when they called it out.

Despite her complete lack of modesty, I appreciated my tomboyish friend’s generosity and patience. There were many occasions where I would fall on my rump or fail to apply the correct technique. She was always there to help me back up onto my feet and encourage however much progress I’d made during the session, large or small. In my opinion, the most difficult portion of our regimen was when Rainbow started asking me to regulate the hardness of my body. In the beginning, I struggled to find a setting that was dense enough to protect me from physical harm, yet efficient enough to keep me from passing out due to magical exhaustion.

To that end, we settled on something slightly harder than tempered steel. How did I achieve this you ask? Well, it was as simple as imagining what I wanted my body to become, then will it to be. I know it all sounds rather silly, but the results spoke for themselves! I should mention that was the easy part. Oh ho~ The hard part was when Rainbow began using her wooden practice weapons on me. Like I mentioned before, my bare skin was not immune to kinetic energy.

My magic merely dampened the effect. Many a night, I returned to the apartment covered in a myriad of welts and bruises. It got to the point where Sweetie became very concerned about my wellbeing and asked if I should stop training altogether. I assured her it was a work in progress, and much to my delight, over time, I started to resist the blows and maintaining my hardened form gradually became second nature to me. Bear in mind, I only used it when Rainbow wanted to use weaponry. I flat out refused to use my powers while we trained together, even though she insisted that she could take some punishment. I didn’t want to risk breaking bones or… worse.

We finished today’s match by engaging in some basic hand to hand combat maneuvers. Mostly blocking and throwing. Rainbow emphasized that I should use these techniques more in a defensive manner, as my hardened limbs could do some serious damage to other people. I couldn’t help but growl in frustration when Rainbow pivoted and slammed my backside onto the mat, leaving me winded and rubbing my sore rump. She helped me up a moment later.

I padded over to the locker room, my bare feet sticking slightly to the mat from perspiration. “I’d say we had quite a good session today, Rainbow Dash. I’m feeling ‘the burn’ as it were.”

Rainbow smirked. “For sure. All this sparring is helping me out too, Rares.”

“Splendid,” I replied while wiping my face, “goodness me. I must smell terrible. A long, hot shower is in order before I leave the dojo this evening.”

“Meh. Nothing I haven’t already smelled before. Comes with the territory. Uh—by the way—thought I’d let you know that I noticed how much muscle tone you’ve put on since we started training. Like, it’s REALLY noticeable. Especially with your tummy and ass. Bet I could bounce a bit off of those pearly white cheeks even when you’re not powered up.”

I blushed furiously, despite nudity being the norm between us during our training sessions. “I BEG YOUR PARDON?! I hope your mind hasn’t been stuck in the gutter this whole time!”

Rainbow waved her hands. “Hold on, Rares! I wasn’t trying to be rude. You look super sexy!”

I stared at my reflection in the locker room mirror and found myself agreeing with her assessment. Even so, it did little to dispel the awkwardness. “I… honestly hadn’t noticed until you mentioned it. We haven’t been training that long. Do you think my growth is due to magic?”

Rainbow rubbed her chin in thought. “I’m no expert, but I’d say it’s likely. Hell, AJ has magic super strength. Wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to say your opal thingy could do something similar. Think of it this way: you’ll look great on tabloid covers and the twelve o’clock news!”

“I’m not looking to become some sort of vigilante celebrity, Rainbow.”

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I know. But it doesn’t hurt to look sexy while fighting crime. Imagine how many people will be fapping to your nudes. Crazy, huh?”

I let out a disgusted groan. “I suppose there’s no avoiding it, given my choice of costume.”

“Like I told ya before, Rares. Being the world’s first naked superheroine is badass.”

While I let the hot water cascade down my naked form, I hissed in pain when I accidentally touched a tender spot underneath my armpit while scrubbing there with body wash. “FUCK!”

“That’s the spot where I walloped ya with the bokken, isn’t it? Sorry for laughing at your injury. I wasn’t trying to make fun of you, it’s just that I don’t ever get to hear you use the F-word very often. In fact, you could say it’s a RARITY.”

While Rainbow giggled at her own stupid joke, I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Yes, I swear on occasion. I’d rather not, as it’s crude, but if the situation calls for it, I shan’t hesitate to do so.”

Speaking of crude, Rainbow absentmindedly scratched her stomach and farted aloud, commenting on how much of a relief it was to pass so much gas. I thanked my lucky stars that she was showering in the stall across from me, or I would have gagged. That’s what happens when one eats spicy nachos loaded with meat, dairy products, and beans for lunch. Much to my chagrin, even the mere thought of food made my stomach rumble in protest. It was getting to the point where I had to bring along several protein bars just to keep myself from feeling faint.

“Damn, Rares. I heard that tummy-quake from all the way over here. Are you really that fucking hungry right now? We could grab some dinner after cleaning up, if you want. My treat.”

I shuffled my feet. “Are you sure? I feel as though I’m taking advantage of your generosity.”

“Nah., I like spending time with my friends and spoiling them. Might as well spread the wealth. And—um—there might be another reason why I want you to come along.”

I raised my brow. “Oh? An ulterior motive? Whatever could it be?”

Cheeks flushed red; Rainbow twiddled her fingers. “Fluttershy will be joining us. She has a bit of a problem that—erm—only someone with your… unique skill set can resolve. Ya dig?”

“I’m not going to find out what this problem is until I speak with her, right?”

The tomboy nodded sheepishly. “Sorry. I promised Shy that I would let her tell you in person.”

“At least you’re being honest. Very well then. I shall accompany you to dinner.”

Rainbow pumped her fist in the air. “Sweet! You can bum a ride with me. I’ll drop you back off at your apartment once we’re finished. We won’t be out too late, I promise!”

I rolled my eyes when we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, if one could even call it that. The establishment in question was named: “Fester Fox’s Fantastic Funporium”. Complete with a cartoonish brown canid and garish neon letters, I felt as though I’d been transported to one of Sweetie’s childhood birthday parties rather than a dinner amongst ADULT friends. A quick search on my phone confirmed that this restaurant was indeed meant for grown-ups. To be perfectly honest, I was quite embarrassed to even step foot in such a childish place, so a pink blush involuntarily formed on my cheeks while Rainbow conversed with the receptionist. It seemed as though Fluttershy had already made a reservation for us in advance. Oh, lucky me!

Predictably, Rainbow Dash was like an oversized woman-child in a candy store, commenting on all the awesome games she would play while we waited for our food to come out. I’ll say this much; I don’t believe she understood how little to the imagination her outfit left to the other restaurant patrons. All she wore was a pair of red sneakers, jean shorts, and a baby blue tank top that showed off a generous portion of her chiseled abdomen. She wasn’t wearing a bra either. Let’s just say the looks she got (from men & women alike) were downright lecherous.

I’d opted for a plain gray dress and sandals for the sake of practicality. Most of the time, I was perfectly happy not to draw attention to myself. In any case, Fluttershy waved to us and we took our seats at the booth. Her outfit was modest as well. Khakis and a lovely violet sweater. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail. The turquoise scrunchie was a nice touch, I thought. It matched her eyes. Around her neck was the butterfly geode. She was the only one of us who wore it on a regular basis. I must admit, my friend’s curvaceous figure made her look womanly no matter what she chose to wear. We exchanged a brief hug and kiss, then began perusing the menu.

Rainbow nudged my leg with her bare foot. At some point she must have taken off her shoes? “If you’re looking for a tasty appetizer, I’d recommend the Cheesy Bacon Tater Bomb.”

“My goodness… it’s all deep fried?” I balked.

“Hells yeah! That’s what makes it so fuckin’ good. I’m getting one myself.”

I forced myself to chuckle politely. “Well—I’ll keep that in mind. Fluttershy, darling, what would you suggest? I can’t say I’ve ever had the—ah—pleasure of eating here before.”

“The chicken carbonara is pretty tasty.” Fluttershy replied in a soft voice.

“Hmm. A wise choice. Everything around here is just so… heavy. Do you know if the dish has garlic? I’d rather not come home smelling like I fought a sweaty vampire, if possible.”

Fluttershy giggled. “No, I don’t believe so. At least, I’ve never noticed any before.”

“Good! I’ll have that with a side salad. Or what constitutes for one.”

“Their salads are actually quite decent, I’ve found. The pecan, strawberry, and feta salad is my favorite. It’s also vegetarian… if that sort of thing matters to you. Restaurants like these aren’t exactly known for being the most health conscious.” Fluttershy commented while gesturing towards Rainbow Dash, who was busy stuffing her gullet with a complimentary pizza roll.

The athlete practically swallowed it whole and got up from her seat. “The ball pits are calling my name, babe. Would you mind ordering me a roast beef dip with fries? Thanks!”

“Make sure you use hand sanitizer before you come back to eat with us! Those ball pits are notoriously unsanitary. I have some in my purse if there isn’t a dispenser nearby. Oh, and be careful not to hurt yourself or anyone else.”

Rainbow ran over to Fluttershy and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Don’t worry! I’ll be super, extra careful. Just text me when the food arrives. Thanks again!”

I raised my brow as soon as Rainbow was out of sight. “Babe, eh? Are you two an item?”

Fluttershy blushed and twirled a strand of her hair. “Mhmm. We have been for years. Dashie and I were besties all the way back in grade school and our relationship—umm—developed into something more from there. I know this might come as a shock to you, but we weren’t exactly comfortable showing affection out in the open during high school.”

I reached over and held her hand as a show of support. “I, for one, think it’s wonderful! Truly, it’s a shame that you weren’t able to express your love for each other earlier. I would have supported you two without question. I’m certain the girls feel the same way.”

“Thank you, Rarity. Back then… we were still in the experimental phase of our sexuality. It wasn’t until senior year that we figured out, for sure, that we liked girls. Well, I do at least. Dashie tends to like any person, regardless of gender, that fits her criteria of attractive.”

I laughed. “Yes, she’s told me as much during our training sessions.”

Fluttershy’s expression became more serious. “She hasn’t done anything inappropriate; I hope?”

“Ah… nothing too scandalous, I assure you.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I was worried that she would get sued for sexual harassment. As you might have noticed, Dashie isn’t exactly the most tactful person.”

“Indeed. Not to change the subject too abruptly, but what was it you wanted to ask me?”

Fluttershy sighed. It was clear that she felt uncomfortable asking for my help. I waited patiently for her response, trying my best to keep calm and appear in control. “I guess I should start at the beginning. Um—I work as the lead zoologist at the Manehattan Metropolitan Zoo.”

I encouraged her to continue by rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand.

“The zoo hosts many different endangered species. In fact, last month we received a pair of Tropical Blue Macaws. Which is great because they can be placed in our breeding program. Unfortunately, the mother, her name is Estella, informed me that her clutch was stolen by poachers. I spoke to a few other animals, and word around the zoo is that there’s an illegal pet-selling ring being run by the mafia, right here in Manehattan. Peter the Pigeon told me their base of operations is near the old industrial district downtown.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “Let me guess… you want me to help break up the ring.”

Fluttershy frowned for a moment before nodding. “I know what I’m asking is extremely dangerous, Rarity. But I don’t know who else to turn to! The MMPD probably wouldn’t take me seriously, even if I reported it to them. Plus, it’s the mafia! They might have some cops in their pockets. Just think of all those poor, helpless, baby animals!”

“Am I to assume that you know about my—ehem—abilities?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“Please don’t be upset with Dashie. She only told me about your new powers because I already knew about Equestrian magic. There’s no way she would blurt out your secret to anyone else.”

I sighed and rubbed my temples. “I’m not angry at her. Rather, I’m concerned about what will happen if you know my true identity and the extent of my powers. Like I told Rainbow before, your lives could be put at risk. Granted, I will take all the precautions I can to help prevent that from happening, but it’s still a possibility we must all come to terms with.”

Fluttershy blushed. “Oh and—um—she also told me that you wear nothing but a mask while fighting crime. I-I think that’s pretty cool. Exciting too!”

“Hmm. I suppose crime fighting does have its moments, despite the peril.”

“The very thought of random strangers being able to see EVERYTHINGis sostimulating. Oh, my goodness! I feel all warm and tingly in-between my legs just thinking about it! After the adrenaline rush of fighting in the nude, have you ever found a quiet spot to finger—"

“Please don’t tell me you have some sort of fetish for exhibitionism…”

Fluttershy blushed even harder and nodded meekly. “Very much so, if I’m being honest.”

“Let’s try to get back on track, shall we?” I interjected before things could get weird.

Fluttershy coughed before composing herself once more. “Right. Sorry about that. I got a little carried away with my imagination. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“In terms of logistics, I’m afraid I don’t know how to handle a situation such as this one. At the very least, I’ll need solid intelligence if I’m to infiltrate the operation without attracting the attention of every mafia goon in the immediate vicinity. Do you have any suggestions, dear?”

Fluttershy tapped her chin. “Hmm. I think I might have an idea on who you could ask to provide information. You—um—probably won’t like it though.”

“Why do you say that?”

The zoologist twiddled her fingers. “Well, they’ll need some form of payment for their services.”

I waved my hand. “Perish the thought! I have plenty of money to spare. Price isn’t an issue.”

“I’ll just come out and say it: I’m referring to the rat clans all over Manehattan.”

My stomach immediately did a backflip. “You can’t be serious! Those… filthy creatures?”

“Rats aren’t the villains people think they are. I mean, sure they can spread diseases and carry fleas, but it’s not like they do it on purpose! You won’t find a better partner to spy on the mafia. They can even fit in the littlest nooks and crannies without being seen. Just think of them as your very own furry intel network. Please, Rarity. Won’t you at least consider the possibility?”

I nearly lost my appetite when Rainbow’s appetizer came out. A quick text from Fluttershy seemed to summon the tomboy in record time, despite not wearing the geode of speed. “Awesome! I was getting kind of hungry. The ball pit will do that to ya.”

Fluttershy slapped her hand before she could wolf down the deep-fried abomination. I wouldn’t have been surprised had it been in a single bite. “SANITIZER FIRST!!”

“Hehe. Thanks, babe.” Rainbow replied sheepishly after placing a napkin on her lap.

While she began eating, I tried to formulate a response to Fluttershy’s proposal. “Let’s suppose I go along with this plan of yours, Fluttershy. What would be involved?”

“Rats are somewhat… materialistic by nature. They would expect some form of payment for their service. I’m not talking about money, of course, since they aren’t humans. Sometimes, they’ll collect shiny baubles and trinkets but I think food would be the best currency to use.”

Seriously. Rainbow Dash needed to learn some basic table manners. She even belched aloud without the slightest bit of hesitation after gulping down a quarter glass-full of soda. “Do you have any suggestions as to what type of food they would prefer? I presume cheese is fair game.”

“They do like cheese, I’m sure. Soft pretzels are pretty popular too.”

One of the waitresses walked by while carrying a piping hot cheese pizza. An idea suddenly popped into my mind. “What if I were to purchase a few veggie supreme pizzas? Surely, they’d enjoy those. Plenty of cheese and bread to be had and it’s all in one convenient package.”

Fluttershy nodded in agreement. “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea! I’ll pass along the grapevine that you want to hire the Whispering Whiskers for a job. Big Louie will be your contact. Don’t worry; he knows his way around Manehattan. He’ll know where to find you if I provide the address.”

“Wait a second—do you mean to tell me that they understand writing?”

“Mhmm. Rats are very clever. Big Louie shouldn’t need my help communicating with you.”

A shiver went down my spine. The thought of those filthy pests possessing that much intelligence creeped me out. “Very well then. He may visit tomorrow evening around five thirty while we’re having dinner. I’m sure Sweetie will get a kick out of this whole… sordid situation.”

With one part of the equation solved, I tried my best to focus on having a pleasant lunch with my friends. The salad was fine, like Fluttershy said, however… Rainbow Dash had ordered a classic stromboli and proceeded to devour it in the same manner as the fried potato ball. Suffice to say, her face was a greasy, sauce-coated mess by the time she finished. I will admit, it was rather adorable seeing Fluttershy wipe her lover’s mouth with a napkin like a sloven toddler. Rainbow blushed, but I’m fairly certain she enjoyed all of the doting, even if she didn’t verbalize it.

Sweetie and I were enjoying a quiet evening alone in my apartment. She’d just gotten back from her internship and was a bit tired but otherwise excited by the new album Rara was working on, featuring a fair amount of input from Sweetie herself. For dinner, I’d ordered take out. A few pizzas to be precise. One of them being veggie supreme, as per Fluttershy’s instructions. I honestly didn’t know what to expect in regards to our furry guest. Would the creature show up at the door or would it come into my apartment via other means? The very thought of such an unsightly rodent even coming NEAR my abode was… unsettling to say the least.

Sweetie and I finished our shared margherita pizza with a satisfied sigh. Extravagance was content to lounge about on his doggy bed, as oft was the case after his evening meal. Getting him to do anything for the next few hours would be nigh impossible. Unless he had to pee, of course. Not to worry though! I had a canine potty pad ready to go if he didn’t feel like going outside. I didn’t feel like getting dressed at the moment, so it was a win-win scenario for the both of us.

Just as I was savoring a sip of rosé, an awful clatter arose from the balcony. Hackles raised, I padded over to the sliding doors, only to find a MASSIVE, shaggy gray rat sitting patiently outside. He was roughly the size of a small dog. Never in my life had I seen a rat of such girth. My entire body shuddered in revulsion as I peered down to meet its beady little eyes. With an immense show of willpower, I resisted the urge to scream in terror and opened a crack large enough for the rodent to pass through. Much to my surprise, it squeaked once and bowed.

“I—erm—take it you’re Big Louie?” I asked with some trepidation.

He nodded in affirmation. How bizarre. Were they intelligent enough to understand me?

“If you don’t mind, darling. I’d like to ask you a favor. Would you please take a bath? I have no idea where you’ve been, and if we’re going to conduct business, I’d prefer you to be clean.”

While I pointed towards the bathroom, Sweetie eyed Louie with curiosity, rather than disgust. She didn’t abhor the disgusting creatures as I did. In fact, I’d wager she would enjoy petting and holding the blasted thing, if given the opportunity. Before I could protest, she scooped Louie up and proceeded to scamper off towards the bathroom. Extravagance eyed them warily, unsure what to make of our furry guest. He didn’t growl, as I had let the rat in voluntarily.

“Don’t worry; Rarity! I’ll get him cleaned up in a jiffy!” Sweetie shouted from inside the tub.

“Alright. Do be careful, dear. I don’t want you getting fleas or some horrid disease.”

After a few minutes had passed, I went in to check on them. Oddly enough, the big rat seemed to be enjoying himself. Sweetie laid back in the tub with her feet in the air and seemed relaxed as well. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be. No matter the circumstances, rats creeped me out! A forced smile spread across my lips as I watched him swimming around in the water.

“I-I hope the bath is to your liking… Mr. Louie. When you’re so inclined, I have a veggie pizza in the oven waiting for you, as per our arrangement. Then we can get down to brass tacks.”

Sweetie giggled when he crawled onto her chest and nestled in-between her bubble coated breasts. “Louie is the perfect gentle-rat. He even let me pet his fur while I gave him a good scrubbing. Not to worry! He should be squeaky clean by now.”

I cringed. “Yes—well—I’m glad you two are enjoying yourselves. Make sure to dry off properly. I don’t want wet little paw prints all over the apartment floor.”

“A minute or two under the hair dryer should fix him right up!”

I must admit Louie looked much more… presentable after his bath. Perhaps it was the fluffiness of his once scruffy coat, or that it had a glossy sheen to it. At least he looked more like a pet rat than one that’d spent its entire life digging around the bottom of dumpsters. Sweetie had no issue holding him or petting him for that matter. For his part, Louie seemed to enjoy the attention. When I finally presented the veggie deluxe pizza to him, his beady little eyes widened in what I can only describe as euphoric joy. Before I could even ask if he wanted something to drink, the gargantuan rodent had already wolfed down an entire slice and was nibbling on a second.

“Slow down, dear. You don’t want to choke.” I cautioned while offering him a bowl of water.

Louie regarded my advice with a squeak and started slurping up water like a man dying of thirst. There was a slight pause in his feast, in which he wiped his paws on a napkin and gestured towards my phone with his snout. What could a rat possibly want with a phone? I obliged his request and much to my astonishment, he began typing out a message via text. How clever!

My most humble thanks for the feast, Miss Rarity. The Whispering Whiskers are at your service.

Unsure how else to react, I decided a simple pat to the head was sufficient. “You’re quite welcome, Louie. I’ll be sure to send more pizzas to your kin when the time comes.”

No worries. We’ve got plenty of time to talk business.

“Yes… about that. I’m afraid I don’t know the industrial district very well. My friend, Fluttershy, is the one who asked for my help in trying to break an animal smuggling ring.”

That’d be in Little Shanghay, Louie responded with a swish of his tail. The boys told me those Dahlia goons have been trading illegal antiques too by the looks of it. Real high-end stuff.

“Really? What sort of antiques?” I asked.

Stuff that belongs in a museum.

“Horrendous, but unsurprising. They are a criminal organization, after all. If memory serves me correctly, I do believe I still have the cell number of the curator of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in my contact list. But—ah—I will have to donate the pieces anonymously somehow…”

Louie shrugged. We ain’t in the business of transportation. You’re on your own for that.

“I’m aware, darling. Pardon my ignorance, but how does your operation work exactly?”

While Louie nibbled on the hard crust with gusto, he used his lower paws to text. I’ll take a squad along with me to Little Shanghay. About half a dozen Whiskers in total, including yours truly. We infiltrate the area, and communicate with tapping sounds. Morse code, humans call it. As for relaying the information back to you, I’ll need to borrow a phone for texting.

I scrunched my lips, realizing that I’d have nowhere to stash a phone on my person. “That might be an issue. For me, of course! Borrowing a phone is simple enough. I wonder how I’ll—”

As if summoned by magic, Sweetie handed me my mask. I wondered why she would do such a thing while we were discussing business, but noticed that the inside included a few bits and bobs that had not been there when I made the mask originally. Granted, I had an average knowledge of how to operate modern technology but this was beyond anything I was accustomed to using.

Sweetie grinned from ear to ear. “I thought you might need something to communicate with if things went FUBAR during a mission. So, I took the liberty of installing an earpiece, microphone, and retractable text screen inside the mask while you were away at work. And what do you know, it all fused together seamlessly! Must’ve been the magic. We can test it now!”

“Thank you, Sweetie. I didn’t realize you were so skilled with technology.”

She blushed while I inspected the inner lining. “Button MIGHT have given me a few pointers…”

“Over a video conference, I presume?”

Sweetie ran her fingers through her curls, twirling one of the ends. “For the time being. Trying to keep up a long-distance relationship is tough, but Button told me that he might be able to visit during winter break. He can just share my bed. It’ll save money n’ stuff.”

I sighed while rubbing my temples. “Because leaving two nude, hormonally charged teenagers, alone, in a room together is a POSITIVELY brilliant idea. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Sweetie’s face did a lovely impression of a strawberry. “WE PROMISED TO BE SUPER CAREFUL ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF!!!”

“Oh oh~ Did you now? I was not aware of this development. Even if Button is a lifelong nudist like us, I can’t imagine he would be able to resist your—ehem—buxom charm in such confined quarters. I’m not saying you can’t have sex; I simply do not wish for there to be any accidents.”

Sweetie let out an awkward chuckle. “You see… the thing is… we already had our first time at the resort. One thing kind of led to another after we went swimming together in the lagoon. Before you start lecturing me, I know how to have safe sex! Button made sure to use a condom.”

I really didn’t need to know about my teenage sister’s burgeoning love life. However, the cat was already out of the bag. A lady does not fuss. “Fine. I get it. Are mother and father aware of the physical aspects of your relationship with Button? You know how protective Father can be.”

Sweetie shuffled her feet and bit her lip. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell either of them yet. Please, Rarity! You have to keep this a secret between the two of us. Promise?”

I coughed and cleared my throat. “I promise, sister dear. However, you must tell me if and when Button is coming over to visit… in case the two of you need some privacy. Before you protest, my jewelry shop has some modest living quarters on the second floor. Just in case I lose track of time while I’m working and don’t feel like coming back to the apartment.”

Sweetie nodded slowly. “Ok. I’m not sure if he’ll be able to for certain. But I’ll—”

Louie skittered over to my foot and nuzzled it with his whiskers, presumably to get my attention. I had to suppress a scream as I was not prepared for the rough, scratchy sensation. “Apologies, Louie. My sister and I can sometimes talk at length without realizing it. Particularly, if it pertains to any sort of family related drama. Is there anything else you need to discuss with me?”

I texted our office location, so that you can deliver the veggie pizzas to my crew before the job. They don’t typically work without being paid first. Thanks again for your hospitality. I enjoyed the meal and bath. Tell your little sister she’s welcome to our den anytime. Ciao~

Before I could get in a word edgewise, Louie absconded the pizza box and was on his merry way down the hall to who knows where. Quite frankly, I was impressed that he was able to carry something so big and with so little effort. Then again, he did devour half the pizza all on his own. Regarding his prodigious appetite, I was somewhat disgusted despite showing proper manners.

Sweetie cocked her head to the side. “Huh. I wonder where their den is. Do you think the rest of Louie’s crew is as cute as he is? OH! Maybe they’ll want a bath too. I think it would be fun.”

I let out a half-hearted chuckle. “Right. Fun, you say. We’ll just have to wait and see, Sweetie.”